listen if you're telling me that femininity is feminine because it's performed by women, then logically any action i take should be considered feminine by virtue of me being afab and identifying as a woman(?? maybe) BUT you're also saying that no that's not how it works its what's stereotypically female behavior that defines femininity and not an individual's actions, but that doesn't make sense either because a 'stereotypical woman' will act differently depending on the time period and location she is raised in. in what world are we capable of generalizing approximately 50% of the planet's population. and anyway does that even matter if what is considered feminine is pushed upon girls at a young age and they are told "this is what you must be"? because at that point how would anyone tell what is nature vs nurture? society tells us what is feminine and masculine and then viciously reprimands any deviation from those traits, but where do the standards come from? if it is possible for them to change so drastically over time and location, then "femininity" and "masculinity" are not some rigid set of rules set in some platonic ideal; rather they would be descriptions of generalized behavior in a certain time for a specific set of people. in trying to use these descriptions as rules, the behavior morphs into itself over time, cannibalizing the structures and descriptions and inbreeding them until we end up with grotesque caricatures of "masculinity" and "femininity" that force people into such tiny boxes that they become unlivable. in this essay i will—