howdy partner :3 /JJJJJ a request? me? yes (idk why im nervous to send this i have done this before)

i was thinking based on real experiences,, recently (like very recently, literally just this morning and you can see evidence), i had an all-nighter and i was super out of it. head hurty, but i was fine, i was alive but i was acting DUMB. bc i started posting random shit + dming random shit + made a lot of incomprehensible typos. how would,, 96z handle that kind of behavior

like [name] is exhausted as hell. all-nighters before sleeping for ages and repeating the cycle. parrotting some of the things they say, kinda giggly and saying how much they appreciate them and stuff. anything Dumb !! platonic tho, if thats aight :} hence no love HSIERFB but ily hana pookie <3 /p

fix off,

; 🌕

jun — finds it like,,, the funniest thing possible. probably records you to show the rest of the friend group 😭 asks you questions to push you further in your delirious rambles, keeps you going and going because it’s just so funny to him, until eventually when you’re showering him with compliments abt how he’s such a great friend he’s like. okay this mf needs to sleep.

hoshi — confused. actually tries his best to follow and understand your rambles, gets lost halfway because your words are literally incoherent, but then you say some random hot take that he completely disagrees with and it’s like 4am and suddenly u guys are arguing over something STUPID lmfaoo.

wonwoo — indulgent. finds it very entertaining and listens to you and nods very encouragingly. lets you talk your shit until you quite literally fall asleep in front of him. is very very amused but only shows it in a little smile or something 😭 pretends to take you entirely seriously and thanks you if you randomly tell him how much you appreciate him

woozi — is trying so hard to just put u in bed but he’s too nice to ignore you so he’s listening and nodding away (kinda like wonwoo) and going “ahh, i see” very seriously but he’s literally just humouring you until u fall the fuck asleep. if you start praising him to the ends of the earth then he’s like okay thanks bro gOODNIGHT and dips.

an / THANK U WEISS this was sm fun i wish i could’ve done it better or made it longer but time is sparse 😭

Ordem Paranormal Quarantena fucking knocked it out of the park it was insane Im grappling with so much I'm so insanely tired

There was a funny bit I was thinking of around the whole second bit where I was going Carol you hallmark protagonist fuck

Because first of all her name. that was the main part it's on the same level as Noel and Nick and Holly but there were also certain aspects of her character that in my delirious mind reminded me of the hypocrisy and drama of the typical independent business lady in a christmas movie as well as the I-can-do-no-wrong mindset of a romantic fantasy shoujo romance protagonist

And I thought. Man. There was a very clear path this story couldve taken with these characters and setting if it were not roleplay.

(note: not talking about the ccs or the actual characters but the Tropes the characters fall into and Could've been in generic science fiction horror)

A plucky new scientist with dreams to make a difference in an evil monster-ridden world and prove her skills despite being underestimated and looked down on by her friends and colleagues, and her direct senior with whom she has a negative relationship with due to his demonstrated lack of practical skill but mysterious higher connections to the board and therefore is ranked higher while she falls behind. She has moments of butting heads with him before the disaster breaks out in the facility and she has to struggle to stay alive and hidden until she's rescued by that same suddenly impressive senior with whom there's multiple tight spaces to be stuck with and convenient makeovers and sudden cold they have to share body warmth for. It's overWhelmingly easy to guess the plot

The plot in which None of the gang are mentioned. Because in this hypothetical B-list horror romance, they don't exist as people, but plot devices and tropes

They're there to provide funny moments and emotional weight as well as conflict to the overdone plot.

You have Luis, tank, everyman strongman with a soft heart and unclear but dangerous living conditions (poor). Probably the backup boyfriend in case the thing with Mikael doesn't work out, ends up sacrificing his life to save her due to some completely preventable situation cause she was too stubborn to listen, and gets a future project (maybe even a baby) named after him.

You have Jeffrey, funnyman, scapegoat, coward with zero friends and terrible priorities, multiple jobs (poor). Kind of useless, constantly infuriating and taking up space and meddling with things he doesn't know Anything about when she could've made a solution if he'd handed it over and dies to the zombies for the crime of irritating our protag.

Diego, hippie allegory, lives out of his backpack he literally calls his home, his life (poor) and has herbs (weedhead) that she'd try to be Fixing and eventually succeed in 'reforming' and sending him back to school due to her natural disposition in helping those in need.

You have Lucie, finally another girl, unfortunately in both horror and tropey romance, we Hate any other woman besides our all-powerful and beloved protagonist, so she's the nerd archetype but not the cute, efficient way our protag is nerdy but in the weirdo unnecessarily jargon-filled and Unappealing (unattractive) way. She dies the same way in the movie.

Benito was Made to be hated. It's the sly evil smirk and sunglasses and a beanie with the unprofessional labcoat and talking about things he doesn't understand like he does and taking her accomplishments and mocking her life as a scientist fighting to save the world and how he always seems to be looking down at her and definitely wouldve been the one to hide an infection and endanger the group he's the character whose death you're Meant to starting cheering for when he's dragged kicking and screaming onto the rusty laden, jagged roof and played with and pounced on till his insides squeeze out of him like toothpaste

Mattias was there so our protagonist could have her badass "I'm not like you I won't take a life because you're a coward" speech before he turns and nearly gets the group

Emi and Anderson were there so we could have a real man-to-man fatherly conversation about what it means to protect the ones you love and to pass on the torch as 'Leader' before he succumbs to the virus and begs to die before he hurts his girl, and so they could have wholesome pseudo-parenthood with a confused but reasonable child who absolutely understands that they're doing the right thing because they're the good guys and calls Carol mom when she's in danger near the end

It could've been a zombie survival plot about two arguably well-off individuals facing the consequences of a project they still believe could change the world and their tag-along group of meatshields to throw at the problem until their glorious melancholy escape where they're hailed as heroes for containing and eventually completing their groundbreaking research

and a horrific experience for a group of people who just wanted to make an easy few bucks till the next paycheck. They could've split those 50 dolalrs and jumped each other in the parking lot they didn't need to go through all that

Carol is driven, she's serious, she's ambitious and believes in the good that her research (the team's research) will bring and she's surrounded by people who don't understand that they're the good guys and are trying to find fault in her So she's willing to make sacrifices so she's willing to take it upon herself to decide who the team needs more she doesn't care if she dies as long as the world knows she saved it she needs to hear anything and everything people say in case it's about her or something she might care about it she's got braided hair and easily breakable glasses

Mikael is keeping things to himself to preserve his level of control over the situation because who knows what these guys are really like and he Saved them by telling them everything they need to know and they repay him by chopping his arm off? they're ungrateful and unserious So he kept himself safe while they had numbers and clues on their side They Managed Didn't They? Aren't they alive right now? they don't understand how important it is that he lives no one understands how important it is that Nidere lives he's got stylish curly hair and a fitted turtleneck

They both have a need to be heroes in a sense, to matter in the grand scheme of things they need to be at the forefront they need to be the ones who saved Everyone. Everybody is Only Alive because of THEM.

It's just really fascinating to me how. A different perspective of things kind of switches their roles as protagonists and cannon fodder

My wisdom teeth are coming in! That’s why I’ve been sick!?! I’m mad now!

Vil would look at me annoyed, cause I probably just bowled into his room unannounced, angrily ranting about teeth. Do you think twisted wonderland has wisdom teeth? He zones me out while I pace and eventually flop onto the bed. I know he’s not listening, but I don’t care I’m mad!

Rook has somehow already gotten me meds, and cooked something. He happily listens as my rant slowly turns more delirious from the pain meds.

Epel gets mad with me, he’s yelling about how stupid wisdom teeth are, and why do they gotta make me sick? Tooth pain isn’t enough, k gotta get a sinuses infection!?! He makes hot apple cider to help, and we angrily watch some shows together.

Hope you’re doing good! I miss bothering you, been trying to come up with some fun dog twst ideas, but my job at the doggy daycare has been boring! Not inspiration! And now this!?! I’m grumpy.

FUCK WISDOM TEEYH SERIOUSLY THESE BITCHES DONT EVEN MAKE U SMART EITHER LIKE SUCU A FUCKING CLICKBSIT IM SICK OF THEM I hope you get well soon 😭😭🫂

PLESSE AU IN TWST WHERE WISDOM TEETH DOES NOT EXIST AND THEY'RE ALL HORRIFIED U HAVE A TEETH THATS HIDING JUST WAITING FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT TO RUIN YOUR LIFR IT TURNS INTO A CREEPY PASTA

Rook is the mf that records you when you're completely out of it just indulging your every request because he finds it funny and u want to die when he excitedly gets ready to go through all of the vides and images together

epel will make a homemade wisdom tooth removal for you homie don't worry 🙏🙏

AND AGAIN THANK YOU SO SO KUCH FFOR THE ASKS😭😭 THEY'RE SO SILLY

Dear Midnight readers,

We are gathered hear today to mourn the loss of Atherix after she was brutally murdered by both gnawing and shaking at the hands of Stitch.

Atherix was a lovely writer in their time, produce for us two quality chapters in a matter of hours and she will be missed.

The burial service will be on thee plot B at Fuck You Cemetery at Midnight Tonight.

I AM GOING TO SHAKE YOU SO MUCH. YOU ARE LIKE A SNOW GLOBE AND I AM AN OVERENTHUASTIC CHILD IM. I DON'T HAVE COHERENT THOUGHTS BC I READ THE FIRST CHAPTER WHILE INCOHERENT AND THE SECOND CHAPTER RIGHT AS I WOKE UP THIS MORNING. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU, FIRST OF ALL???????

GOD the glyph disappearing. The faCT THAT I KNOW WHY YOU FUCKING BROUGHT IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM TORMENTED WITH KNOWLEDGE.

The comb, the memory sharing, the vulnerability as Scar puts it I am in LOVE

ALSO THEY SAID THE TITLE. I don't care that midnight is super common in the story it makes me happy anyway.

And Grian not getting the whole shadows are light but not thing is so funny. oh my god.

'the magic the gods hold' SHAKES YOU. SHAKING YOU. SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE.

OH AND THEN THE DREAM AT THE END THERE??? EXCUSE ME!!! I mean. I knew it would come back up. But the fact that its there is making me INSANE

and then the fucking. the ALLEY. 'Its been a few years' HOW MANY IS A FEW, GRIAN. I NEED TO KNOW, GRIAN. ARE YOU FUCKING SURE SIR???????? Listen. Listen. I didn't even think that maybe grian was in stasis or some shit til everyone else was like 'is grian actually like centuries old and doesnt know' BECAUSE NOW. I AM THINKING ABOUT IT. I AM CONNECTING DOTS. I AM FUCKING GNAWING ON SHIT. THE FACT THAT HE SPEAKS ANCIENT. THE FACT THAT SCAR'S TOME HAS ADDED LINES THAT WERENT IN HIS BOOK. THE STATE OF THE ALLEY. The crack was narrows but now theres a giant hole in the ceiling. Other creatures have taken up residency in the alley. Grian's constant 'hes a little confused but hes got the spirit' vibes about everything. MY GEARS ARE FUCKING SPINNING.

God the fact that Grian just goes in. That grian keeps gettingb pulled out of his own head by his mates. The fact that Mumbo pulls Scar and tubbo down because its definitely not safe for them to just stay outside the mountain oh my god but then. Then.

Why DO the Watchers want the Tome hidden in a city full of Observants is my fucking question that I still haven't cracked. This is like one of those geodes full of water - thunderegg? I think they're called??? But I have theories okay. If the watchers are supposedly all seeing but the Palace had them wandering around AND they were walking around in a physical enough form for Grian to kill THREE of them right. Right. And theres the whole - the watchers Grian remembers werent following the stuff inside the tome right. WHAT IF. WHAT THE FUCK IF. [I feel like im talking to like. a twitch chat bc I know you arent gonna say shit about it] BUT OKAY THESE WATCHERS ARE LIKE. DEVIANT. THEYVE STRAYED. AND THEYVE MADE A BREAK OFF WITH THE ALLEY. AND THEY MAKE PEOPLE HIDE THEIR TOMES TO HIDE THEM FROM THE EYES OF THE OTHER WATCHERS, WHO SEE THAT THE ONES WHOVE TAKEN FORM ARENT FOLLOWING THE RULES. IDK. LISTEN. I READ THIS HALF DELIRIOUSLY.

Why do I recognize the Magical Menagerie. And WHY does Grian take his Tome if he already has Scars unless theirs some like godling part of his brain thats just like, dragon hoarding all the tomes. What is going on. What the fuck.

I dont fucking know if I believe that grian's only been gone for five years at this point. Relatively recent abandonment my ass, Scar. Tubbo and Mumbo have already called it, I'm believing your anons, Grian is OLD. WHERE ARE THE REMAINS. 5 YEARS IS NOT LONG ENOUGH FOR BODIES TO DECAY COMPLETELY AWATY. ABSOLUTELY NOT. THIS PLACE IS OLD AS BALLS.

And the way Grian just FLIES off when he hears Tilly's bark and the fact that I fucking TRUSTED YOU!!!! THE PALACE LOOKED LIVED IN AND THEN YOU TORMENT ME WITH THEIR DEAD LOVED ONES?? YOU MAKE MUMBO WATCH AS ONE OF HIS MATES AND HIS COVEN CHILD HIT THE APPARITIONS OF HIS DEAD WIFE AND DAUGHTER????? EXCUSE ME HOW FUCKING DARE YOU????????

the watchers eat pets im calling it now. This is a completely baseless accusation. they eat the pets.

'They prey on your emotions and then consume everything you are' HEY UH. HEY THERE TUBBO. TUB TUB. HEY BESTIE. ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY YOUR PARENTS ARE ACTIVELY BEING CONSUMED??????

AND THEN THE FALLING. AND THE FACT THAT THEY ARE ALL SO FUCKED UP. I AM SHAKING YOU. YOU ARE A CHEW TOY TO ME RN.

Oh man, looks like I need to get fitted for the casket real fast hjkfgdhskg-

OKAY BUT THAT ENTIRE INTRO TO THIS MADE ME CACKLE LIKE A HYENA COME ON-

... Am I at least a pretty snowglobe- KHFSJKFHSJKFKSJ OKAY BUT I CACKLED MYSELF TO SLEEP LAST NIGHT JUST IMAGINING YOU WAKING UP AND LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE AND SEEING MY "YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME" AND THE UPDATE NOTIF AND IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT <3

HEHEHEHE :) KNOWLEDGE YOU CAN NEVER SHARE WITH ANOTHER READER HEHEHEHE. Idk if it'll be catharsis when it comes up again but HFKSHFKJSK :)

He's trying to be better for them <3 Trying to be more open and honest and let them in more <3 And the memory sharing- it means so much more this time because last time he shared his memories with them they were asking questions, but this time he volunteered the info himself- invited them to see it, and I am so khfdshgkjdfshgkjfd I am so NORMAL about them <3

I LOVE A GOOD TITLE DROP <3 And hey. Midnight is very significant in the Midnight series :) Cough cough a midnight sun.... the Midnight Alley........ a midnight Eclipse.................. :)

Grian over here like "LIGHT IS LIGHT AND SHADOW IS SHADOW" lmaaoooo I love him, magic is a conundrum to him.

🙂 Hehe~

LOOK. LOOK IT WAS A PERFECT CHANCE. HOW COULD I RESIST :)

Hey. Hey Stitch. Looks like there are some surprises I haven't mentioned to you yet LMAO <3 I will neither confirm nor deny anything, and I shall explain nothing <3 I will say this, though.... for someone running away, Grian sure hasn't met anyone looking for him, has he. :)

Grian is just. So. Stubborn. If he didn't have Mumbo and Scar to reel him in this would have gone So Bad hjfdkjk but also the fact that he LETS them help him I am just so hjkfdskkfds

You are speaking to a chat, yes, because I can answer literally NONE of those :'D And these are questions I will not answer in private either <3 I need to leave SOME mysteries for you <3

You know, if the last page of the Tome is different, I wonder what else might be. Just. Just saying. :) As for why you recognize Magical Menagerie, it was mentioned in Midnight Melody, so <3

*cough*alsostalactiteswhereglassusedtobe*cough* Sorry sorry got something stuck in my throat, but :) It's an interesting idea isn't it, my dear Stitch and readers~

Haha the Palace IS lived in :) :) TRUST ME. IT'S OKAY TO TRUST ME HAHA <3 Okay but also Scar having that split moment of like "oh shit what do I do I know it's not his dead wife but it LOOKS like her" and just hjfdhsjkghdskj BUT I FUCKING DARE <3

HFSJUKHFKJS LMAO baseless accusation but you know what, they don't deserve the benefit of the doubt.

:) Hehehe

WHERE WILL THEY LAND I WONDER? HEY STITCH. STITCH DO YOU REMEMBER. I MENTIONED IT BEFORE. :) But. But hehehe <3

READ CHAPTER 17 WOOOOOOOO im trying smt different to help like .make my asks a bit more coherent by opening a google doc n typing out all my thoughts n then sending whoever the like summarized version bc my original version is always a mess (tho i can send it if ud like its just .messy like i said LMAO) but anyways THEIR INTERACTIONS THIS CHAPTER....... starting off strong w the "my place again next time?" "if you'll have me." GODDAMN..... shaking grian violently for sleeping in his binder i understand but STILL also the lil "xoxo" on the note scar wrote is so adorable n so in-character for him imo im loving it ALSO THE HICKEYS THING..... THE ENTIRE THOUGHT PROCESS OF SCAR WHEN HE SAW GRIAN IM SO also .did they like finish eating the pancakes at least before they started making out again <- i want pancakes now. im sick and ive been contained to dry cheerios and buttered toast i want PANCAKES........ anyways 10/10 chapter as per usual feel like this makes less sense than normal actually despite my efforts but i think i may be slightly delirious from sickness so !teehee its fine i am going to chew these two and their interactions like i am chewing my cheerios but better bc i love them and i sm not very fond of dry cheerios

if you like trying to make ur asks more coherent feel free but i fuck with the vibe either way, no worries king! LISTEN they were going at it last night grian was NOT abt to take off his binder during that. he's suffering now, did he learn his lesson? absolutely not, his clown ass WILL forget to take it off again

i feel like scar texts like a grandma anyways (or tries to w/ proper caps and punctuation) so him writing a lil xoxo :) at the end of a note? real. im manifesting it

LET SCAR GAWK AT HIS MAN 2K22!!!

also no. we will return to the pancakes hehe (EW not even like? honey nut cheerios man???)

the delirium is funny at least, hope u feel better soon!!

[the fic in question]

Jan 24th 2024

I forgot to write anything down for the 23rd oops ig

i haven’t slept at all today, untangled yarn and crocheted for 5 hours, scrolled on tumblr for the rest, watched a few episodes of rats, i had to miss the bus and be driven in by my dad while feeling, mildly delirious, and a little dazed, i’ve been listening to crywank for a bit, i don’t remember when i started, i actually love my tumblr mutuals sm like i look at tumblr and all of a sudden i have 26 activity notifications from one person, i love that sm. i did my makeup at like 3 so it’s probably all gone now, i have no idea what to read, but i feel like i need to read something so that’s just great

1st, we finished presentations then did a thing on character building that i have to finish, my characters name is harold he’s a comic book writer. i definitely did not name home after a minecraft minecart

2nd, we walked, and walked, and i talked to myself about how im kinda sick of people making fun of my brother like it’s shit they are shit

3rd, we had our test and good gods almost no one finished, we are going to finish them tomorrow,

lunch, we talked about speech patterns kinda, i love linguistics, we also talked about how people talk to me and im not great at responding, kinda embarrassing for me but whatever

4th, we took notes on ethos(lab)(im so funny) logos, and pathos, then we read, i finished reading chapter 4 ages ago but y know

5th, we took notes about early african history, i liked when we talked about mythology and gods, i feel like im about to pass out

6th, while i was walking here my vision got all blurry and i started to hear the words t the song i was listing to which isn’t weird normally but have been struggling to pay any attention to any outside of my head i don’t know if that made even the slightest amount of sense. we study for the test tomorrow, i guess ill do fine, my vision went really blurry again and i almost fell asleep

7th, i was in a state of half consciousness for the entire period i don’t remember a single thing that happened other than that feeling of falling that oh so helpfully woke me up like 5 times

i keep running away from my friends, it’s honestly a bit embarrassing but i don’t think i could care less right now. i ran into caleb earlier and good gods i can’t stand them

anyway uhhhhh. scattered thoughts about Spanner In The Works time

the whole idea for this plot started out because when celise last met epsilo he was very close to just straight-up killing them, and while that crisis was avoided i liked the idea of celise dying and getting resurrected due to vernrot's eldritch influence so i decided to roll with that for my own plot

lucy being the culprit just made sense to me given how it is established that he does kill tourists whenever the various entities at vernrot require a troll sacrifice, and then i was thinking Hey What If That Had Consequences

... and also i had that scene where vallis figures out that lucy is drunk because he's listening to his bodily functions using his eldritch senses stuck in my head and wanted to write that. i love vallis' lowkey freak shit

that was. about the extent of of pre-planning i did before writing those five drabbles LMAO most of the stuff came to me while i was writing, or i was thinking about the next drabble while writing the one i was currently working on

lucy wasn't originally going to call upon the horrorterrors to save celise, but something about that moment of being so delirious from blood loss and regret/grief that you call out to anyone who would hear for some sort of solace was really evocative to me that i just had to include it. and it helped tie vallis into the plot for Part 4 even if he was mostly used as exposition

as an aside, i thought it was really funny how vallis talks about being disappointed that celise wants nothing to do with him, only for it to be revealed in the next drabble that they were so out of it they dont even remember him being there

celise is a frog zombie for multiple reasons 1. they are a frog troll and making them more froglike sounded fun; 2. vernrot's horrorterrors tend to warp people by giving them more aquatic qualities so amphibious bullshit made sense to me; 3. i like frogs; and 4. celise fucking hates weird zombies so this was such an ironic and mean fate to give them. id actually been debating for years if celise should have an inexplicable frog tongue mutation because i thought itd be funny if they could just. eat flies out of the air with it, but i always worried it mightve been Too Weird And Gross that i didnt go ahead with it... Until now. if anyone gets weird about it im beating you to death

i genuinely forgot that celise was a vegetarian too, so i had to pivot hard towards them having to deal with the horror of eating meat in After Pain so that ended up a lot more visceral than i initially intended. though i did have to rewrite one part because i got so into writing a contrast between celise's disgust between eating meat and how their new instincts desperately crave it and it tastes irresistible to them now that started sounding a bit vaguely erotic and i went FUCK OH NO GO BACK LMFAOOO. dungeon meshi changed me as a person

but yeah unfortunately for them their diet has completely flipped and they can only eat meat now! they can stomach animal meats fine but it doesn't sate them nearly as much as troll meat does, and for those who skipped the emeto scene the main thing worth noting is that ordinary food tastes rotten to them now. big rip

also the timeline is just vague enough that its ambiguous who left the offering at the end. was it the horrorterrors looking after their newest creation? or was it lucy trying to repent for what he had done to them? vote now on your phones

and i think i made it clear enough, but the thing that the horrorterrors took away from them was their ability to feel intense amounts of anger, which now when they get angry they start feeling really hungry instead. funny how they constantly denied their ability to feel negative emotions and anger to the point where they dissociated themself from the emotion entirely, and once they finally acknowledged it, it was taken away from them and the absence is so much worse. on the bright side, theyll be a little less insufferable to deal with now, so lucy did one thing right by killing them :)

if you're taking ideas for harmless drabbles, i'd love to see one of bucky on one of those dates he mentioned and reader's shenanigans. if you aren't, feel free to ignore this!

a/n: are we really going to let a word limit define what a drabble is? is the vibe and spirit not enough? i say this bc this is 5.7k words long im so sorry. also hey thank you to everyone who piped in with their knowledge of violent geese and how apartment security works in new york!! also thanks to my bby @spiderrpcrker for reading this and telling me to publish this bc i wasnt going to fkjghfkj

warning: swearing, bad luck, dates, frustrated bucky, anxiety, mentions of gore but like only a sentence

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Catch up with the rest of the series here: Harmless Masterlist

Bucky returns only two weeks later. His mission lasted longer than expected and all he wants is to lie down and sleep for forty eight hours straight.

“FRIDAY?” he mumbles, kicking off his shoes. His jacket had already been discarded by his bedroom door when he walked in.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”

“How are ya?�� He doesn’t miss a beat in asking, even though he’s exhausted.

“As good as ever. Did you have a successful mission?”

“If by successful you mean one sprained limb instead of two, then yeah.” He wasn’t really cribbing. His ankle was already starting to heal anyway and it was worth the roundhouse kick to a Nazi's face. “Do I have anything scheduled for this weekend?”

“You have a meeting on your calendar scheduled for this Saturday.”

“Could you send a text to Y/N and ask if we can push it to the next day?” His muscles feel sore and God, he could definitely use a hot shower but all of that becomes secondary the minute he feels the sheets under him.

“Would you like me to reschedule the other one as well?”

“What’s that?” He opens one eye in confusion. “There’s another one?”

“It’s on Sunday. You’ve labelled it ‘date’.”

Ah, fuck.

“Would you like me to change it?” FRIDAY never sounds like she’s judging him, which is nice. It also reminds him about how she, as an AI, can’t judge him, which is a rude wake-up call to how he doesn’t have friends.

“No,” his voice is muffled against the pillow, “no, let it be. Where is it again?”

“You’ve only specified diner, Sergeant Barnes.”

Public space, daytime, plenty of escape routes. Good on his less delirious self for selecting a diner.

“Thanks, FRIDAY.” Now that he’s a little more relaxed, he can feel himself slip in and out of consciousness.

“One last thing," her automated voice commands his attention again. "Y/N replied. She says sure and to take care.”

“Yay.” Not even a second later he’s out like a light.

____

“Did you bring me any souvenirs?” Is the first thing he hears as he marches into your lair.

“What could I possibly get you?”

“A postcard, a t-shirt.” You don’t look up from your tinkering.

“Decapitated finger, used bullets,” he continues, “cement blocks.”

“Ew.” You snap the lid shut on the thing you’re working on, spinning around on your chair. "That's not nearly romantic enough."

“That’s all you’re going to get from a Russian underground bunker.” He does a mini jog up the stairs of the platform to where you are.

“Does the finger have a ring at lea- oh hello?” You raise an eyebrow at the sight of him. “You look different.”

He peers down. The outfit was still all black. As always.

“Not your clothes, dummy,” you interrupt, making him look back at you. “Your face. What’d you do?”

He unconsciously raises a hand to his cheek.

“Did you wash your face? Is that it?” you squint at him. “Has it been a few months since the last time?”

“Wow, you’re so funny,” he drawls sarcastically.  “Top tier comedian right there.”

“No wait, it’s the beard.” You snap your fingers in realisation, completely ignoring his comment. “You trimmed it.”

“So what if I did?” He leans on your table.

“You going somewhere?” you ask, elastic snapping against your hands as you remove your gloves.

“It’s none of your busi-”

“Hold on a second.” A sly smile begins to make its way onto your face. “Are you going on a date, Bucky Barnes?”

His comeback dies down in his throat. That didn’t take you very long for you to figure out.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” You look smug, to say the least.

“Shut up.” A ray of light glistening distracts him. He traces it to the thing you were working on earlier.

“Where are you guys going?” You cross your arm across your chest, a small smirk on your face.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” It’s a silver box, engraved intricately with swirls that, when he observes carefully, looks like a skull. Wow, terrifying.

“I’m literally asking you.”

“What are those?” He shifts the conversation towards a more productive angle instead.

“Evil in a box and some other stuff.” You shrug offhandedly. “Is it a lunch date or just coffee?”

“Like Pandora’s Box?”

“A discount version, sure,” you confirmed impatiently. “Stop changing the topic, listen to me.”

He tilts his head, waiting for you to continue.

“Do you need a chaperone?” The sincerity in your voice for such a bullshit question has him scoffing.

“Good God- no, I do not need a chaperone. I’m 106 years old, I can go out unsupervised.” He reaches over and plucks the box off your table.

“Sir, you’re a geriatric."

“What are those?” He points to a few ray odd ray guns.

“Minor stuff you don’t have to worry about right now.”

He shakes the box in his hand. “What’s gonna happen if I open this?”

“Very bad things,” you whispered ominously before your volume returns to normal. “How’d you meet this person? Online?”

“She’s Natasha’s friend.” He turns the box over, seeing a small latch at the side. “What bad things?”

“Bad luck and misery. Don’t play with it, it’s dangerous.” You pull the box away from him. “Aw, is it a blind date?”

“Why do you care so much?” he shoots back, tugging the box back towards him.

“Just lookin’ out for you, Bucko,” you huff, adjusting your grip on your device. “Need to keep my favourite senior citizen safe.”

“I have a vibranium arm.” Whose force he could use to grab the box once and for all, but wasn’t. “I think I’ll be fine.”

“What if she has one too, huh? Then what?”

“She doesn’t.” As far as he knows, he’s the only one alive with a metal appendage made out of the strongest metal in the world. That could very well change by tomorrow but he's keeping the title for now.

“But what if she does? I swear to- stop trying to take the box!” You pull a little more forcefully, but he doesn’t relent.

“I want this to get over before this evening.”

“What time’s your date?”

“Why do you care?” He’s sure anyone who saw the dumb tug-of-war you both were playing would just automatically assume he was an absolute manchild, not an Avenger.

“Because.” You don’t explain further. “Tell me what time your date is, you weirdo.”

“Five o’clock, now let go.”

“Fine,” you say, suddenly loosening your grip. Clearly, it doesn't make much of a difference since he isn't struggling to keep his balance from the sudden loss of force.

“Fine.” He clears his throat, straightening up. 

You don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.

A putrid smell creeps into his nose, one all too similar to spoiled milk and decaying seaweed. He has to physically stop himself from gagging.

“Have a good day.” You smile and lean far back. Too far. It looks like you're almost going to fall out of the chair.

Through the tears that are threatening to line his eyelids, he looks down at the box whose latch you somehow managed to lift, leaving the box open.

“What the fuck is this?” He coughs, swatting at the air in front of him to clear it.

“I told you; bad luck in a box.”

“You can’t scientifically create bad luck, that’s bullshit.” He tosses the box back onto your table. You watch it slide past you, not making any effort to stop it. “What is it really?”

“I’m not lying.” You pull open a drawer, brandishing a small table fan that you set down beside you. “If you open it, you’re going to have terrible luck for the day.”

He glowers at you when you turn the fan on, forcing the fumes back towards him.

“Besides, that’s all I was doing today.” You kick your feet up. “So you can leave now.”

He doesn’t care if you’re lying about not having anything else to do today. You could burn down the world if you wanted to but he needs to take a stupid shower. Again.

“You’re the fuckin’ worst.” He tries airing out his shirt, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible.

“Have fun on your date, sarge!” you encourage him as he stalks out of the lair. “Remember to wrap it befo-”

He turns it into a sprint before you can finish.

____

Six hours later and he’s absolutely convinced he fucked up.

He isn’t used to having his weekends free.

He realises that this is the first time in months that he’s actually stepped out of the Tower for something that wasn’t directly mission-related. He should probably get some air. Touch some grass. See the sun.

His shirt thankfully manages to rid itself of the odour from the dumb box so he didn’t have to go take a shower. With nothing much planned and a few hours to spare, he heads to the coffee shop instead.

It’s a small place, bustling and alive with a crowd of people. They have a little bookshelf that usually is full of books donated by patrons, free for anyone to read.

The barista smiles at him. The coffee costs more than his high school education. He awkwardly smiles back.

He’s not a regular, but they’ve seen him enough times to know that he usually asks for black coffee in a to-go cup, later adding a sugar or two according to his own taste. They're nice to him, occasionally throwing in a cookie or something on the house. He can't tell if it's because of the Avenger status or the sizeable tip he leaves.

He picks up a random book from the shelf, fully intending not to read it but to just sit there and think. The book acted as a shield for his resting bitch face, resting murder face and his resting rage face. More often than not, a good combination of the three.

He sets the coffee down at the corner table he manages to nab in a quick second, along with the two sachets of sugar.

“Is this seat taken?” Someone asks from beside him. He earnestly shakes his head in a ‘no’, gesturing for them to take it.

They give him a quick thanks and drag the chair away from his table.

He does a quick overlook of the book he picked up.

The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot.

Well, now he’s too anxious to put it back. YA fiction it is.

He reaches for the sugar while glossing over the summary. He reaches a little further when it doesn’t come to his hand immediately, blindly running his fingers across the table.

Bucky peeks over the book, eyebrows knitting together when he notices that they’re missing.

He was sure he picked it up.

He looks underneath the table. It wasn’t there, neither under his seat. Strange, but okay. He picks up the book and the cup, walking back to the station to grab two sugars.

This time he makes sure to tuck it into his pocket, double-checking before going back to his table.

Which was now occupied. He wanted to groan.

His mind automatically reverts back to the box from that morning.

“Come on,” he scoffs quietly to himself. It was a coincidence. “Get yourself together.”

“A seat at the counter just cleared up,” the barista from earlier offers when she sees him standing in the middle of the store.

See? Good luck.

He shoots her a grateful look, venturing over to the barstool to take his place. It’s not the most comfortable, but then again, he wasn’t planning to stay there for very long.

He empties the sugar into the coffee, stirring slowly before opening a random page in the book.

He takes a long sip, ignoring how hot the drink was.

He chokes immediately. Because either he was losing his mind or his order had somehow got switched from ‘no sugar’ to ‘diabetes in a cup’.

He takes another small sip and his face immediately twists in disgust. Definitely too sweet. The sweetener he added only made it worse.

He catches the eye of the barista. She looks on in concern.

“Is everything okay?”

Fuck.

He’s not one to make a scene. He just wants to live as imperceptibly as he could.

“Yep.” The sweetness sticks to the back of his throat. “All good.”

He just closes his eyes and downs the rest of it without thinking twice, trying to hide the grimace in his face. He gives her a weak thumbs up. She doesn't look convinced.

He leaves the shop soon after, hands shoved in his pocket. Maybe he could go sit by the lake at Central Park, watch the clouds. It reminded Bucky of the lake in front of his hut in Wakanda and the hours he'd sit in front of it, feet dipped into the water as his goats fed. He misses it.

He makes a sharp turn at a corner, still thinking about his options when his ankle abruptly twists under him.

He stumbles rather ungracefully, almost hitting the ground, but manages to save himself through the newly built up immunity he has towards falling thanks to all his encounters with you.

His gaze lands on his hardcore combat boots. Their laces had come undone.

Now he just knew that was horseshit. He always double knots them; they had never loosened in the past before.

The box.

He shoves the thought out of his head, crouching down to tie them again. He tugs on them to make sure they’re secure before standing up again.

Central Park is a few blocks away but he’s glad he didn’t bring his bike. The weather was rather nice and the wind in his hair felt good.

He wanders around the park for a while, looking for the lake. He pauses at a board with a map of the park on it, assessing how far it was.

Once he's ascertained which path to go towards, he turns on his heel to go.

He fucking trips again.

“Are you serious?” he says furiously under his breath. “Cut it out.”

He’s half-convinced that he should tie it around his ankle like a sexy lace-up set of heels. He ties a triple knot this time, glares at it until he’s sure it’s fine and checks to see if anyone saw him humiliate himself.

Only a person on a nearby bench who looked like they were passed out drunk, given that their hoodie and sunglasses clad self was slumped over.

No witnesses. No 'You won't BELIEVE what the Winter Soldier did! Critics say it's his biggest blunder yet!' articles the next day on social media.

He manages to make it to the lake in one piece and no more falls, partly because he keeps his eyes fixed on his shoes to ensure no fuckery occurs.

There are a few people rowing and plenty of others lining the bank at scattered locations. There’s a mom and her kid at the place he ends up. She sends him a small smile in greeting and he returns the favour.

There’s a secluded bench that he takes a place on, letting out a small sigh. If he ignores the traffic and the skateboarders and the people in general, it’s actually kind of peaceful.

There are geese and their little goslings swimming around the water close to the shore. Maybe he should have brought some birdseed. Or kale.

The kid beside him is busy fashioning something out of leaves, only occasionally erupting into giggles when it doesn't pan out. His mom watches him fondly, pointing at twigs he could use. Everything seems kind of picture-perfect and his body automatically relaxes, easing further into the seat and closing his eyes for a second.

Until there's a large splash and loud distressed honking. He whips his head around to find the same kid staring straight ahead at the goose with a wide grin. His mother curses quietly, picking herself up off the ground and grabbing his hand, half chastising him for throwing something at an animal and half urging him to walk faster.

The goose turns to Bucky. With no one else to blame for the sudden attack, it logically launches itself at him. His smile drops.

He gets up in a rush. The dumb bird nearly comes for his head, but he deflects with his metal arm.

“I didn’t even do anything.” He swats at it swiftly, trying not to cause any real damage. The goose, understandably, does not speak English.

He flinches when one of them bites at his knee. He can punt it to the sun but he doesn’t want to.

“Stop that.” He sticks his hand out to shove the stupid thing away, retreating back to the road. “Jesus, why are you so aggressive?”

Among the barrage of feathers showering on him, he prays his damn shoelace doesn’t unravel as he shields his head with one arm, the other fending himself while he moves hurriedly away.

The goose honks angrily at him. He scowls at it, not exactly pleased with the reminder that these fucking overgrown ducks were constantly bloodthirsty.

It doesn’t leave him alone till he’s significantly away from where he was sitting. He wants to call it profanity but that’d probably piss it off more.

The box and its effects were definitely starting to feel real.

Fuck it, no more day out for him. The best plan he can think of is to just go to the diner he’s supposed to meet his date at.

The waiter greets him with a courteous nod, which Bucky can only imagine was the best he could muster when a dishevelled 200-pound man walks in covered in goose feathers and irritation.

He won't admit that he’s too scared to eat lunch at this point because he can’t rule out food poisoning. He spends the next two hours on his phone playing Fruit Ninja and plucking feathers that accented his all-black outfit.

Several glasses of water later and a second before he’s about to beat his high score, someone taps on his shoulder, breaking him out of his concentration.

Motherfu-

He clenches his eye shut, inhaling deeply before turning around.

“James?”

“Hey, yeah, that’s me.” Bucky almost falls over the table with how fast he stands up, clearly underestimating his size. “Leah?”

“Hi.” She smiles and he finds himself smiling nervously along with her.

“Hi.” He steps out to pull out her chair for her and she laughs. "Nice to meet you."

“How long have you been waiting here?” she asks while setting down her bag.

“Around ten minutes.” He clears his throat to hopefully hide the fact that he was lying through his teeth.

“Just give me a second, I need to tell my friend I reached,” Leah pulls out her phone and he nods.

“Another glass of water for you?” The waiter seems less enthusiastic about Bucky’s 8th refill.

“Yes,” he answers, hoping he doesn’t call him out on it, “please.”

“You must be really dehydrated."

Bucky turns to look at him slowly. “I like the taste.”

He can’t really blame the guy. Bucky’s been there for hours without ordering anything solid, just leaching off their free water and complimentary bread basket.

“So, James.” She tosses her phone back into her bag, leaning forward on her palms easily. “Tell me about yourself.”

He had rehearsed this a million times. He could do this.

“I, uh,-”

“Menu?” Okay, so someone clearly had a vendetta against him.

“Thank you.” She takes it with a smile.

His morning debacle with the coffee flashes through his mind. Suddenly the idea of a diner didn’t seem so smart.

However, she’s already placed her order and George is standing beside him expectantly, daring him to ask for another glass of water, so he places his usual order and hopes that your stupid bad luck thing wore off.

He quickly learns that his date is laid back, and it isn’t hard to fall into a rhythm with her even though she’s the one asking most of the questions.

“How’d you meet Nat?” Is his attempt at one.

“She used to come in for lunch every week at the place I work.” Leah leans back in her chair. “She can really handle her alcohol.”

He’d be worried about Nat day drinking if he didn’t know about her complete inability to get drunk. She might as well have been downing glasses of lemonade.

“Yeah, she’s-” Intimidating, scary, cool “-really something.”

“She mentioned that you like movies.”  He definitely spends a lot of time watching them. “You got any recommendations?”

It’s easier to figure out how different things are or how much he missed out over the years through them. He’s glad he sat out the early 2000s, judging by their fashion sense and hairstyles.

He's watched several movies over the past few months, a few of them critically acclaimed and others who were just there for the cult following.

But now everything goes blank and the only thing that he can remember are the biopics made about Steve that were somehow hilarious for gifting him the mental image of Freddie Prinze Jr. dressed in the stars and stripes, and highly distressing for the number of historical inaccuracies. Contrary to popular belief, Stevie did not, in fact, consider running for president after he took up the shield, nor did he start his own bar chain.

He can’t name Oh Captain, My Captain starring Channing Tatum as his favourite movie on his first date and hope to make a good first impression.

“Despicable Me was kinda fun.” He wants to kill himself. “I mean, it’s the last one I saw.”

Her face twists in mild disgust, but he can tell it isn't ill-intentioned. “It's a good movie, but God, that just gave me some intense flashbacks to my aunt’s Facebook page. Don’t think I can look at a minion ever again.”

He sniggers with her. He doesn’t know what the context is.

He’s a little awkward, and he can definitely tell he isn’t the most open book but she laughs at some of his attempts at jokes. There’s a distinct discomfort he has lingering at the back of his mind prodding at him, telling him over and over again that he isn’t ready for something like this. A warning bell, asking him to leave as soon as possible because he was in a dangerous situation.

He remembers what his therapist told him about breathing and remembering that the resources he had available were greater than his anxiety and he tries to get out of his head. It takes a few minutes of acting like he's fine but he manages to do it.

Other than the one time he scalds his tongue on the coffee but played it off with a pained smile, shoving down thoughts of your stupid invention, things actually went okay.

It was nice, even though they decided by the end that it was better if they both gelled together better as friends. It lifts the strange fear he feels and he can hear Dr. Mendoza say she's proud of him for taking this step before spending three hours psychoanalysing why they decided to stay platonic.

Bucky promises to visit her sushi shop with Nat soon and she says a bottle of sake awaits him for a drinking game. He doesn’t have the heart to tell her that Nat and he share the same tolerance for alcohol.

He makes sure to leave George a tip. A big one. It’s the first time he sees the guy smile the entire evening.

He’s waving goodbye to Leah outside and he thinks that maybe it was a good end to the day and that things actually turned out fine.

Until he turns around to leave, only to have someone walk straight into him with an iced tea.

The cold comes as a bit of a shock, making him jump slightly. He stares at his shirt, using his fingertips to pull it away from his body.

The person melts into a series of apologies immediately, offering to dry clean his shirt but Bucky just forces a shake of his head and says it’s okay even though he can feel the sugar making the shirt stick to his chest. Goose feathers and iced tea. Was there anything else that would like to attach itself to him?

His fists clench and his teeth grit and he has to physically control himself from sprinting to your lair because God knows what else is in store for him and he didn't want to add in any way.

The door to the lair is locked. Fuckin’ brilliant.

When no one answers after minutes worth of waiting, he fishes for his phone and realises that maybe two hours of Fruit Ninja was not the best idea, especially on a phone known for having shitty battery life.

There’s roughly 2 percent left. By the time he opens his app to give you a call, his phone screen goes black.

He groans. He’s desperate at this point and under any other normal circumstances, he would have never, ever considered doing this.

But ten minutes later he’s outside your apartment building. You’re aware that he has your address; no doubt that it was in the SHIELD file he had gotten, and he knows that you know but it was still weird.

The buzzer has your last name listed next to it. He’s sure that he’ll break it if he keeps pressing it at this rate but he really needs you to let him in.

“Who the fu-” your voice comes through the intercom.

“I’m sorry for showing up like this, my phone died and I couldn’t reach you,” He breathes out as soon as he hears you. “But I need you to fix this.”

When he doesn’t hear a reply, he wonders if the thing actually worked. He’s about to start pressing it again-

“Bucky?” You sound a little surprised to hear him. “You’re at my house. Why are you at my house?”

“I need you to fix whatever this is.”

“What are you- fine, I’m buzzing you in,” your voice, initially confused soon trails off into something more dismissive.

There’s a soft click from the door, allowing him to push it open. The elevator is already on the same floor as him so he just uses that.

The elevator goes up a floor or two. His feet tap restlessly against the carpeted floor.

The lights turn off and everything comes to a standstill. His foot stops tapping.

He should have known. He should have fucking known.

Thirty seconds pass. He’s still in pitch darkness with the elevator showing no signs of moving.

In fact, he’s resigned to his fate. He sits down on the ground, only one step away from completely laying down and hoping someone finds his body here someday.

It’s six minutes of plain silence. He might as well get comfortable if he’s going to get stuck here for the rest of his life. Did he change his will? Does he even have a will?

There’s finally a whir. He thinks that maybe he’s going to plummet to his doom as the perfect end to this day, but then the light switches on and it starts moving upward.

It stops at the floor with a ding. He doesn’t get off the ground, only eyes the door wearily. With his luck, it wouldn’t open.

But it does and within a second he’s on his feet, scrambling to get out before it changes its mind.

He remembers your door number, basically charging down the hall to get to it.

The door is white and the paint is starting to chip off it. The handle itself is dented in a few places and he wonders if it was your fault or someone else's.

His knocks are rapid, agitated even. He doesn’t stop until he hears your loud shouts telling him to cut it out.

“What the hell were you doing, trying to break down my door?” It swings open, revealing you in your pajamas. “Haven’t you done that already? And where were you, I’ve been waiting for like, ten minutes.”

He honestly feels bad for showing up uninvited and highly flustered. He can’t imagine it’s a pretty sight either. "This bad luck shit- fix it. My whole day’s been fucked up.”

“What are you-” Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, taking in his appearance.

It takes you a second to realise what he’s talking about but when you do, your face settles.

“How was your date?” You lean against the door frame, arms crossed over your chest.

“Really,” He glowered at you, “that’s what you care about?”

“Yes.” You nod. “Did you have fun?”

He hesitates. “I guess?”

“Was she nice?”

“Yeah.” Where was this going.

“Good, I’m happy for you.” The smile on your face is genuine. “Look at you go, Casanova.”

“We agreed to be just friends, but that’s not the point here. Y/N,” he whines. “I have a mission next week, I can’t afford to fuck up. My whole day was off and I don’t want it to carry over.”

“Your whole day?” you questioned, standing up instead of leaning against the wall. “Buck-”

“Just fix it.”

“Okay.” You lift your hand up, extending it towards his face.

He waits for you to do something.

You flick him on the forehead.

“There,” you declare, going back to your previous position. “you’re cured.”

What.

He says exactly what he’s thinking.

You laugh. “Dude. I was fucking with you.”

Huh?

“Well, actually maybe just like, three things and then I got bored.”

He’s confused.

“You know,” you begin when he doesn’t reply, “taking the sugar packets, switching your coffee order when you were looking under the table, took your place when you left, the shoelaces.”

“The shoelaces?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “That’s the other ray gun you saw this morning. Unties your shoelaces. I stopped after that because I thought you figured it out.”

His face scrunches in puzzlement.

“I mean, you looked right at me and told me to cut it out.”

He racks his brain about what you could possibly be talking about before it hits him. The hungover person on the goddamn bench in the park.

“You were the one in the hoodie and sunglasses.”

“I just followed the Avengers’ code of disguise.” You shrug. “Turns out it kinda works. Also teleportation. So helpful.”

He forgot about the teleportation. That's why you could do all of it so fast without him noticing you were even there.

“What about the fucking geese?”

You pause for a second. “The geese?”

“And the elevator.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” The confusion on your face is apparent. “What geese and elevator? I have no idea what you’re saying right now.”

“Everything’s been a mess today,” he grumbles. “I don’t know what’s real or not.”

“I swear I had nothing to do with it other than what I mentioned.” There’s indignation on your features that quickly gives way to delight. “Holy shit, did I just accidentally invent portable bad luck?”

“Okay-” his palm finds its way to his forehead in exasperation, “-then what the hell was the smell?”

“What smell- oh, the one from the box?”

He nods briskly.

“Secretions Magnifique.” You snorted. “It’s a perfume. The worst rated one I could find.”

“Perfume?”

“With notes of milk, seaweed and sandalwood.”

“It wasn’t an inator?”

“No, it wasn- did you get vibe checked by a goose at the park?” You stifle a laugh when you notice a stray feather on his thigh.

“What does that even mean?” he asks in despair.

“I can see why it attacked you. You got bad juju.” You raise an eyebrow. “Maybe if you stop staring so much-”

“So I just have shit luck.” Is that a fucking relief or even worse?

“Well,” you begin but decide not to continue.

Even with all the irritability masking it, you could see that he genuinely was just not having a good time.

“Wait here a second.”

You leave him at the door. He shifts his balance and sighs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He still had to walk back to the Tower. Maybe he could grab a slice of pizza along the way since he skipped lunch.

“Okay, here.” You return with a large glass of water. He only looks at it. “It’s just water, I promise. You look like you ran a marathon."

He takes it from you sceptically, pushing away the urge to sniff at it. It’s gone within a few gulps.

You wait until he’s finished to point at his arm. He draws his eyebrows together, but you only curl your index finger and beckon for him to give you his hand.

He reluctantly extends it towards you.

“Don’t laugh,” you warn him, taking his metal arm. “This usually helps me.”

You tie a small bracelet around his wrist. It has a few beads, which he realises represent the colours of the solar system.

“Keep that for good luck.” You pat it gently after securing it. “I think you just had a bad day; those don’t last very long. Do you want to charge your phone before you leave?”

“Uh-” The bracelet’s pretty, the colours shine against the dark vibranium. “-no, I’m good. I’ll just leave.”

“Okay. Anything else I can help you with or will you be fine?”

He narrows his eyes. “You’re being suspiciously nice.”

“I’m not evil all the time.” You huff. “My hours are in the morning.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he says again. “I’m gonna go then.”

“See you next week.” You give him a little wave. “I’d say break a leg on your mission but knowing your situation...”

He scoffs. “Thanks.”

You make a move to close the door when starts walking down the hallway towards the exit.

He adjusts the beads slightly so he can see them better. The Earth one has glitter in it. He thinks it’s cute.

“Bucky.”

He turns around.

There’s a hint of a smile on your face.

“Take the stairs.”

He doesn’t have to be told twice.

Next part

I have just discovered that the man who voiced Bruno is also Sid the sloth and I rushed to share that with you because I have encanto blocked and wasnt sure you knew. Im not sure what to do with this knowledge

I have heard!! And I feel like everyone (not you, not saying this is you, I just mean the general audience for this movie) thinks this is a downgrade, that it's Cursed™ information. but like. listen:

We could have had Lin M/nuel M/randa as Bruno... and sure the guy is great when he writes music and yes I loved his performance as Jack from Mary P/ppins but his voice wouldn't do it for me like John Leguizamo's could. it wouldn't do Bruno justice. he just wouldn't fit the part.

listen. listen. Nobody else can voice Bruno but John Leguizamo... nobody could pull that shit off... the first time I heard his voice I was a little thrown off bc it wasn't what i was expecting, but now I am just. obsessed. w/ every little voice crack and the way he whispers certain words when he stutters and the way that his fricatives are so. gentle. there's a scene (I won't spoil for you, don't worry - not sure if that's why u have encanto blocked for spoilers or just bc u dont want to see it in general) where he is explaining something to someone and just... his speech patterns. his pitch. i queue'd a post about it because it just makes me fall for him even harder every time i listen to it. I am obsessed with the way he so carefully delivers this one line... he is very softspoken and i am so. so here for it. and there's just something about the way his voice rasps, almost as if it is unpracticed - because it is! because the character has most likely not spoken in a while due to, well, things that happen in the movie i will not spoil, and just. there is just SOMETHING about John's voice. nobody else could pull that off, i cannot see anyone else as bruno.

And you know WHAT. To everyone who thinks it's cursed info (not you, sweet dear anon, none of my ranting is directed at you, I am just rambling) I will fucking say it. Sid the sloth is CUTE. he is ADORABLE and SOFT and he has a little speech impediment, just like me -- not the same kind, I have a stutter/stumble and a small lisp -- and he's just. he's a joy. he has little claws that make ticky-tappy-tap noises when they hold something. he's sweet and positive and honestly not as annoying as i thought he was gonna be when I rewatched the first two ice age movies. 

I would rather eat cardboard than ever watch another ice age movie ever again. I don't know if I can sit through the third or fourth or fifth or anything else (but god you do what you gotta do when you wanna keep a hyperfixation going, in this case i wanna keep my encanto/bruno hyperfocus as long as i can). PLUS the animation kills me. it is so old. the designs... sid's design is so terrible. all of the sloths look so terrible. their eyes. dear god. christ on a stick. the humans. the only animal design that didnt kill me was the mammoths/sabretooths tbh--

--BUT!!!!! ... I will DIE on a HILL for that stupid little sloth. Bruno sharing the same voice as him is definitely very WEIRD information and it took me a WHILE to process it, and while I disliked it at first and definitely thought "oh no, cursed" I changed my mind over time the more I watched encanto and hyperfocused on all of his lil speech patterns so now I'm!! so welcoming to it!! I think it's funny when he shrieks in one of the scenes bc it literally sounds like sid lmao. it's great. the range. he has it. he has an adorable sweet sounding voice that is so damn SOFT with his consonants and im soooooo. in love w/ it

I did NOT mean to go on a tangent there but anyway, thank you for thinking of me, thank you for reaching out to me because you thought of me. I love you. I am delirious I haven't slept properly in days and I have a migraine. I love you. I'm gonna pass out soon 😂

Fearless (part 2/3)

( PART ONE okokok some parts of this are pretty good. some not so good. but the important part is im tryin my goddamn best out here.)

[OCTOBER 22ND, 7:02PM] The sun had melted away beneath the distant hills and Louie had somewhat calmed himself down.

At least, he was no longer hyperventilating. The feathery tufts on his cheeks were not as fluffy as before, now clumped together from his waterworks earlier. 

He lit the last of his lights, drawing the match away and allowed the head of the flame to seize its last moments. It danced with delight, flickering as it devoured the thin strand of poplar wood.

Louie watched it too long, finding solace in the glow of gentle orange. Just as it was teasing to taste his fingertips, he snuffed it out, not nearly as interested in the arising string of pale smoke. Seven illuminated oil lamps circled his room, washing him in warm, yellow light. But still, It would breed an array of shadows, outlining everything with subtle pools of gloom. Shadows made Louie uneasy. They gave him the strangest feeling that he was being watched. Reminded him of people and powers that were best not to think about. But a shadowy room was preferable to pitch black. He was scared of the dark. Come to think of it, he was scared of a lot of things. Louie had a complicated relationship with fear. He was, by no means, the skittish kid from five years ago. He simply couldn't live with that mindset for long when thrust into the life of McDuck royalty and all the madness and danger attached. So, he adapted. His busiest days tended to fall in the order of breakfast, adventure, magic, certain doom, barely escaping with your life and then sleep. Rinse and repeat. Living like that didn't phase him much anymore. How could it when he was surrounded by the most courageous family put on this earth? And when you continue to survive when that was your Day-to-Day, it had a tendency to boost your confidence. He had gotten braver for sure. Much braver. And yet, he couldn't help but feel like he was lying to himself sometimes. Being afraid of the world around him had never quite faded, he just gotten much better at handling it. Recent years made things all the more messy. His brothers weren't as brave as they used to be these days. Not after what they went through. As a spot of hope, Huey was starting to rebuild a stronger, improved version of his old self. But Dewey still needed time. It made Louie wonder if his intrepid brothers could be broken like this, should he even bother trying to toughen up? He had never been like them. Not naturally, at least. He didn't stand a chance when his time came. He figured that with all he's experienced, he should've at least developed past his more irrational fears. But he didn't.  Deep down, silly stuff still unsettled him. Spiders, violence, surprises. The dark. Ty knew he was afraid of the dark. Ty knew most of the stuff he was afraid of. And despite teasing Louie for pretty much everything else, never his fears. He claimed his brother was the same so he didn't find it all that weird. Louie called bullshit on that one. From what little he knew about Ben, it was impossible to picture that guy being scared of the dark. Ty was most likely trying to ease his insecurity. It didn't work. He felt uncomfortable sometimes, being somebody scared of so much, being close with somebody like Ty. Fearless. It sorta made him wonder if he was inferior. As if standing alongside Ty just wasn't right. The balance didn't seem equal. Wow. Louie was never gonna be good enough, was he?   Wait, no, stop it. Fucking stop it. He had no right to be feeling all sorry for himself for the probability that he wasn't good enough for Ty. On the grounds that he wasn't brave enough? No. Of course Louie wasn't good enough for Ty. That was an irrefutable fact. But what mattered right now was that his carelessness had almost gotten Ty killed today and he couldn't, in good conscience, be focusing on anything else. He almost got Ty killed. He almost got Ty killed. He almost got Ty killed. That was a little more important than "Boohoo, cute bear boy is never gonna kiss me. I'm sad." To make matters worse, Louie had gone and chosen the perfect time to figure out he was in love with Ty. Sure, It had left him happily dopey at the time. But now, after everything that happened, it was like his imaginary little love letter left a paper cut on his heart and splashed it with lemon juice. Ty was going to resign as his retainer. The more Louie said this to himself, the easier it would be to accept it when he received the news. It was truly possible Ty was currently out of his life for good. As much as Louie was trying to talk himself into hunting the boy down right this minute and begging for forgiveness, there was a part of him speculating that Ty would prefer not to see his stupid royal face ever again. It hurt. It really did hurt. But if that's what Ty wanted, Louie would silently abide by the request. He hated to admit it but the spineless side of him didn't want to face Ty either. The last look at him had been his still body laying on an iron bedstead in the castle infirmary. Beakley had assured the stricken Louie that Ty was not dead but refused to divulge the details as she ushered him out and exiled him to his room for the rest of the night. He needed to see Ty conscious. He needed to see him alive. It would be one weight off his chest just to know his retainer had bounced back. But also.....he didn't want to know the damage he'd done. He want to know how badly Ty had been wounded nor how close he had brushed by death. It had been Louie's fault. And he knew that. But the thought of confronting it head-on was a difficult reality to swallow. Even though he should. He should. Completely unrelated but another dumb, embarrassing thing that made him jump out of his skin? Sudden noises. Still completely unrelated but there was a knock at his door.

___________

[OCTOBER 22ND, 11:24AM]

The sky was clear, the autumn air wasn't chilly but pleasantly crisp and there was a lively gathering in the forest. It was held in a wide clearing, bursting with happy people, milling around and chatting. Surrounding them was an almost perfect circle of tangled old oaks, their branches wreathed with strings of homemade lanterns and flower garlands. 

Ty and Louie were quick to turn on tunnel vision towards the table with a large arrangement of party food. They came away with armfuls of bread, cheese, fruits and two tankards of apple cider. They found a spot for themselves, hiding away behind a stack of bailed hay just on the outskirts of the festivities. They set up their little feast, which they wasted no time in devouring. 

There were minstrels playing a vibrant tune. But even with all their flutes, fiddles and practice, they fell short in comparison to the natural music of Ty Cloudkicker's laughter. Louie was talking fast. He was gravitating into Ty's space as he did so, lured in by the bubbling sound. He was eager, grinning deliriously as he spouted out more and more of his story to keep the laugh from fading.

As if it was a lifeline. Like the back of his mind was utterly terrified it would stop. Yet he was entranced with a flood with endorphins, so enamored with the resonance that he couldn't help but be elated as he rattled on to keep himself alive. "Okay, so nobody specifically told Uncle Donald that keeping snacks in your crown was not considered "Kingly" behavior. But see, he just saw it as an extra pocket. He didn't get what the big deal was." 

When Ty laughed hard enough, he started snorting. He attempted to control himself. Louie wished he wouldn't. "So imagine being one of those advisor buzzard dorks, right? And you're having this big, important royal audience with the new king. And then right in the middle of discussing warships or something, he reaches into his crown, (not breaking eye contact.) and starts munching on a fish sandwich. They looked at him like he just spat on their mothers' graves." The octave skyrocketed and Ty disintegrated into high pitched cackles, tightly clutching his side as if he would split in half. It swept away the narrative in Louie's head, fizzling the thought process as he continued to gaze at Ty as if he were channeling golden light. However, his brain did not send the memo to this mouth that it was time to stop talking. Which led to Louie stuttering out "And the--....He--...uh, he--,um...." a brainless smile slapped on his face all the while. He couldn't stop smiling. He was crashing and burning and he couldn't stop smiling. He was certain he would be humiliated over this blunder later but right now, it was pretty funny. Thankfully, his subconscious had mercy on him, cutting him off with a nervous, breathless giggle. Ty was oblivious to whatever kind of gay breakdown Louie was having as he was trying to regain composure from his own hysterics. He was beginning to calm down, occasional wheezy yet delighted noises still sputtering out of him. His shoulders relaxed and he leaned back with a shaky exhale, still stuck with that huge sunny smile. They fell into a silence in the aftermath, content to sit and just listen to the music. Ty picked up his cider and took a gulp. Louie mirrored him. Then Ty's entire frame bucked with a surprise hiccup and Louie nearly choked. He was pretty sure he saw his whole life flash before his eyes as he collapsed into a coughing fit, Ty thumping him firmly on the back. "I'll live, I'll live!" Louie gasped, regaining himself. "Stop hitting me, I bruise like a peach." "Sorry." He drew his hand away. Then he hiccuped again and Louie lost it. "It's not funny!" Ty insisted, a desperate crack to his voice. It was pretty hilarious, actually. Not just the ridiculous little noises, but the way his shoulders jumped and how he would blink in split second afterwards, startled and bewildered like a baby animal. Ty gave him a shove, Louie still snickering and flailing his hands to halfheartedly fend him off. "Hey, hey, what gives you the right to attack me? I nearly choked and died 'cause of you." "Sounds like a "you" problem." "Where'd those hiccups even come from? Your papa bear never teach you not to drink your cider so fast?" Ty's bottom lip jutted out, irritated. He shook his head "Nah, it's--" Hic. Louie snorted. "Shut up!" He snapped. Yeah, his face was definitely a darker shade of pink than usual. "Sometimes I get hiccups if I laugh too much." "Huh. that's a thing that can happen?" "Yeah. A thing I gotta live with." Hic. "Lemme guess, this hasn't happened in a while?" "Huh?" Ty turned to him, perplexed. "Nah, it happens all the time. And when I tell ya it's the most annoying thing--" "You can't be serious." Louie smiled with a disbelieving shake of the head. "You, like, barely laugh anymore." "What's that supposed to mean?" "What?" He shrugged. "You don't." Ty rolled his eyes and directed his vision elsewhere. "I usually do whenever I go back to the glen." "Are Ben and Lottie really that funny?" "They are the least funny people I know. Also they suck and they're cheaters and I hate them." Hic. Let's see. So, he was clearly pouting. Acting all petty about his siblings. The Glen. Laughing to the point of hiccups. "Lots of tickle fights, huh?" Louie deduced, a smirk playing across his beak. Ty considered him for a moment, as if he was thinking about decking him right then and there but ultimately decided it wasn't worth the effort. (Louie was offended.) He then looked off into the distance, an indescribably haunted look in his eye. "Soooo....I'm gonna guess you usually lose the tickle fi--?" "I do not!" Ty abruptly yelled, shooting him an indignant look. "Let's get this straight, if it's one-on-one, I win. I always win. You better not forget that, your highness." He jabbed Louie's chest with his forefinger. "I'm the best fighter out of the three of us. In fact, I probably got the potential to be the best fighter in the whole kingdom!" "Real modest." "It's just if they team up, then it's unfair! That's why they're--" Hic. Louie watched, delightfully entertained as Ty hissed "God. Damn. Hiccups." "And how often do they team up?" He didn't answer right away. Then reluctantly grumbled "Most of the time." "So what I'm hearing is--...." Louie casually leaned against Ty's side, propping his elbow on the latter's shoulder.  "You do lose most of the time?" "Shut up." "No." "Okay, so here's the thing. Let's say you're a big, strong brave knight. You're super cool and heroic and everybody respects you." Hic. "Then you go back home and then suddenly you're just someone else's baby brother and they see you just standing there, minding your business and they're just like "Well! Guess I gotta obliterate him!" And they do not hold back." "Ohhhhh, I get that, I totally get that." Said Louie. "Well, not the brave knight part. But y'know. Me and my brothers had to share a room. It was tiny. There was always a foot in your face or whatever. And sometimes when were bored, they started getting rowdy and throwing hands and it's not like I asked but I got dragged in too. When I was just trying to sleep, man! I wasn't asking for a spontaneous duel at 2am." Ty snorted. "Oh yeah, and sometimes Dewey calls me a little bitch." "He's right." Louie knocked his body against Ty's, making a sound of faux outrage. Ty only found that funnier. Huffing, Louie pawed around for the cluster of grapes at his side. He twisted one free and twirled it around his fingers for a moment. "Watch this. I can feel it. I'm gonna do it this time." "Are you now?" Said Ty in such a distinctly pleasant tone that Louie could not possibly interpret it any other way than "I do not believe that but I'm humoring you but I also want you to understand that my sweet voice is oh, so bitterly sarcastic. Fuck you." "I see you're doubting me." "Me? Doubt my liege? I could never." "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're a real court jester. Now shut up and observe." Louie wiped all expression from his face and inhaled deeply to obtain peak tranquility. He relaxed his whole frame. If he could pull this off, this would be his day for sure. Ty was watching. This moment would define his life. Thinking a hasty prayer to every known God, force and entity  that had ever favored the unlikely ones, he tossed the grape in the air, threw his head back and opened his beak. The grape finished rising and gravity took control. It fell. Down, down, down, down. Louie now understood the concept of meditation. He was so in the zone, he could've sworn the grape was descending in slow motion. Yes, yes, it was aligning directly below his beak. He was gonna catch it! Down, down, down, down. Then Ty snatched it right out of the air and swallowed it whole. Louie sat, slack jawed, attempting to process what had just happened. He slowly turned to Ty, completely blank. Huh. That moment really did define his life. "You bastard!" He squawked. "Me bastard!" Ty exclaimed, looking insufferably proud of himself. "How could you?! I know our allyship has been complicated but this is high treason!" "Sorry, sorry, I just--" He sat back a little, shaking with silent laughter. He then formed a square with his hands and hovered it before Louie, squinting one eye. "I just needed to see the face you would make and god, it was worth it. You think you could hold that face for a few hours to get a portrait made? I'd get it framed and hang it in my room." He was teasing him. Louie knew he was teasing him. And yet he still blushed bright red from the fragment of fondness blurred in the implication. "W-well, well I would--I'd--" He floundered, racking his brain for a retort. "You think there's any musical instruments that could replicate your dorky little hiccups? I'd hire minstrels just to have them play it for me! Y'know, for when I need a laugh." Ty's smug grin dropped and his eyes flicked about uncertainly. "I--..." He dragged the word out, face flushing at a rapid rate as he folded his knees up to curl in on himself. He crossed his arms. "I think they're gone now anyway." He mumbled. Hic. God, that never got old. "If you laugh one more time, I'm putting you in a tree and leaving you there." Louie laughed again, out of spite. "Nobody's fault but your own. Imagine you've just fought an epic battle and you think there's no more enemies to take on. But as soon as you say that out loud, boom! Second ambush! You would think a warrior like you would get that." "Your highness?" "Yeah?" "Shut your huge mouth." "No." "Okay. Dunno why I thought that would work. Never does." "Y'know I would offer to spook your hiccups away. But we both know that wouldn't work." "Yeah, probably not." Said Ty with a shake of his head. He perked up a bit. "Lottie gave it a shot once. Nothing." "Well, it's just like you said that one time." Louie shrugged, then faltered when the back of his mind took notice of the dimly glowing orange irises he was met with. His voice softened involuntarily. "You're fearless." He didn't know what he said wrong. Ty's face fell. He looked so utterly devastated that Louie, completely lost to why he was even upset, felt his own heart shatter to pieces. He wanted to start sobbing just from seeing him. "Oh..." Ty whispered. He clutched one of his hands with the other and began fidgeting with his fingers. "Well, see. Uh, the thing about that is--...." Concerned, Louie scooched in closer, peering at the face that had once again turned away from him. He hesitantly touched Ty's upper arm. "Hey. Ty. Are you--?" "HEY, LOOK AT THAT!" Ty blurted out, his voice nervously rising in pitch. He attempted to subtly clear his throat. Louie followed the direction of Ty's pointer finger which was gesturing out to the thick expanse of forestry. There was nothing there. But then he caught a flash of movement and noticed two figures tucked away in the shadows of the trees. A young man and woman, probably only a few years older than them. "The couple?" Louie asked, puzzled. "The what now?" Then Ty did a double take, then snapped to attention as if he had just noticed them. "Oh! Oh, yeah, them, sure. I mean, yeah, that's what I meant. Them. Uhhh....look at them!" "Uh. Okay? Why?" "Theeeyyyy're....cute? Gross? They're something. They're definitely something." Louie hummed, taking the two into consideration. The girl was letting out a peal of laughter and the guy was blabbing away animatedly, looking thrilled with himself that she was finding him funny. He was trying so hard.... Louie didn't know if he wanted to gag or coo out an "aww!" "Grossly cute." He decided. Ty snapped his fingers. "That's it!" "You know, I don't get why they're over there. There's tons of people around here. Why would you wanna show up to a party if you're just gonna hide away and hang out with one person the whole time?" "For real though." For the next few minutes, Ty and Louie observed the couple, keeping up a running commentary on the guy's obvious nerves and the girl's less than subtle advances. Ty and Louie learned a lot about themselves in those few minutes. Namely that they were both terrible at lip reading. "He said Pants." Ty was certain. "No, he said Nance." Louie countered. "Her name is probably Nancy." The girl clapped her hands together, nodding eagerly. "Then what's that for, huh? Clearly he just offered to tailor her a personalized pair of pants." "You are so dumb, that's not what's happening here at all." The guy took a dramatic step back and twirled his wrist an unnecessary amount of times before offering her his hand with a half-bow. She took it, giggling. The two them scampered off, out of the shadows and into the heart of the party, where other couples were twirling around as the minstrels played. He curled an arm around her waist, smiling as though this was his greatest honor and they spun into the motion, flowing so naturally amidst the other dancers as if they were simply another cogwheel in the world's most elegant clock. "Dance." Said Ty and Louie in unison. "Pretty sure we were close." "Pretty sure we're idiots." "Yeah, I know but just let me pretend." Ty suddenly snickered, his eyes glinting. "What was that thing he did with his hand anyway? And why did she eat it up?" "It's called flair, Tiberius." "Kinda dumb." "You're just mad that flair is not something you possess." "Bullshit, watch this!" Ty sat up straight and bent his arm into a perfect ninety-degree angle. "Prepare to be amazed." And then his entire forearm began to spin and spin and spin and spin and spin like a windmill in a hurricane. "Flair, flair, flair, flair," He was chanting and Louie had already collapsed in a giggle fit. It wasn't even remotely funny. It was dumb, it was so dumb. But Louie could admit to himself that dumb schticks get like ninety percent more humorous to him if there's a really cute boy performing them. He was easy like that. Ty was extremely committed to the joke as he kept spinning and spinning for over ten seconds. He kept shooting Louie glances and his grin got wider and wider every time he looked away. "FLAIR!" He let his arm go, throwing out an open palm and nearly knocked it against the side of Louie's head. "Hey!" He dodged. "Watch where you swing that thing, you could've whacked me!" "But I didn't!" Said Ty gleefully. He lowered his hand but did not withdraw. It remained unwavering and offered out to Louie. He took it. He didn't think, he just took it. It was only when they made contact that Louie woke up and his heart promptly spiked. But besides a light blush, he managed to keep his face neutral. "So, I guess it's not just that girl who's impressed by this stuff." Ty was nonchalant. His smile then twitched, as if aching to stretch wider but he was reigning it in. "You are too." They were still touching, which, by all accounts, should continue to fluster Louie. But as seconds ticked by, a sense of calm was settling over him. The very thing originally causing panic was now bringing him comfort. It was the weirdest thing, "I was laughing at you, not with you." He said evenly, catching Ty's contagious smile. "Ehh," He shrugged. "I'll take it." Louie would count this as a new domain for sure. Uncharted waters. As if he and Ty had stumbled in accidentally but now they were here, their curiosity was urging them to explore. Not to a dangerous extent, of course. But maybe just edge along the sidelines and see what they could discover. "Your hands are so tiny, it's crazy." Ty commented, tilting his head. Turning it over, he slid his thumb thoughtfully across Louie's palm. "How do you even hold anything?" Louie wasn't even eyeing their hands but was regarding Ty's pensive face. "It's kinda the worst. Whenever we find treasure and I get my cut, the fancy rings and bracelets are huge. I always gotta go to a jeweler and get them resized if I wanna wear them."' Ty was fiddling with Louie's fingers now, fixing him with a decisive nod. "I'll get you a ring for Christmas." "Woah, woah. For real?" "Yeah. I'll put it in one of those fancy boxes. But then you'll open it and see it's made out of grass and try to have me beheaded." As they were speaking, their hands continued to play around. Ty had flattened his own, aligning his palm against Louie's. Louie spread his fingers and Ty laced his through. "Uncle Donald says I'm not allowed to say "Off with his head" anymore or I'm grounded 'til I'm thirty-five. It "makes the people want to revolt."" Louie air-quoted with his free hand. "But I would fire you for sure." Ty snorted. "You would not and you know it." There would never be any proof that they held hands that day. Not a single eye witnesses, including themselves, as both boys had turned a blind eye to their own actions. They were afraid to look down, as that would be an acknowledgement. Louie had no mental image of the moment, fuschia fur intertwined with snow feathers, only a rush of heat and a hazy ponder if the dampness was his sweat or Ty's. And if the feel of Ty's touch was just an illusion of the mind, there was one poignant hint of the reality and that was how gentle their voices had gotten. "Oh, so, you're really gonna test me like that, Tiberius? Pushing me around, stealing grapes, calling me a little bitch. Is this any way to treat your liege? You don't think I'm at the end of my rope with you?" "Nahhhh...." Ty drew the word out, grinning. He twisted his muzzle into an exaggerated pout and batted his eyes. "You would never because I'm awesome and cool and smart and you love me." It was Ty's utter nerve that left Louie too astonished to even blush. Instead, he simply tilted his head, an eyebrow cocked. "Do I?" He challenged. To his credit, Ty did not relent either. However, the impishness gradually died from his eyes until he was left solemn. "Maybe?" He spoke softly, as though too much force would crack the delicate little word. He bore into Louie's eyes, like he was searching for an answer. Pleading for an answer. Louie felt his own hand squeeze Ty's. He inhaled. He knew he was going to say something, he was just leaving it up his own scattered subconscious to determine what. He would open his beak and whatever words wound up tumbling out would seal his fate. He didn't have a second to panic, to fret, as he was already speaking and he was petrified by how fast this was all going. "I--" Something shattered and a woman screamed in pain. Indistinct shouting and Ty cursed under his breath. Louie scrambled around to see the commotion and the last few things he registered were the gleam of sunlight catching unsheathed weapons, the girl he called Nancy with crimson pooling from her forehead, Ty demanding "Get down!" and knocking him stomach-down into the ground. 

“Stay there and don’t move.” Then Ty had rushed off and everything went to shit.

___________

[OCTOBER 22ND, 7:13PM] Louie was well acquainted with that knock. Firstly, one firm rap against wood, proceeded by two more rapid-fire. He associated it with a twinge of annoyance, high sun beams streaking in his window and somebody near, dear and insufferable to his heart, pestering him from the other side to rise and shine already or his breakfast would go stale. This usually occurred around 9:30AM. If given a say in the matter, Louie would sleep til noon. But he didn't have a say in the matter because every morning, without fail, there was a retainer banging down his door. Something was off this time. Once he knocked, Ty had fallen uncharacteristically silent. No continuation of drumming out an obnoxious little tune and and no insisting he open up. Louie was hesitant to do much of anything. It seemed his door was the only thing protecting him from facing repercussions right now. If he fell deep enough into denial, he could pretend Ty wasn't there. So long as he kept his door shut, he could pretend everything was alright. Ty didn't almost die. It was a tempting thought. It resounded in such an appealing voice inside his head that Louie seized his latch before he could give in. The brass shocked a chill to the pads of his fingers as he held on tight. He had to open up. He had to. His hand fidgeted, stalling the moment. He thumped his forehead against the door, heaving a steadying sigh. "You don't wanna see me, do you, your highness?" He heard Ty say in hushed tones, his voice startlingly close to where Louie had situated himself. "Ehh, if we're being honest....not really." "Oh...." "Do you wanna see me?" "I mean....I kinda don't? The idea of seeing you right now is making me nauseous." The statement skewered Louie's heart. He shook it off. "Why'd you knock?" "'Cause it doesn't matter what I want, I gotta see you right now. It's important." An prolonged pause hung in the air, buzzing with a mutual uncertainty. Louie tapped his fingers to the wood and after a second or two, Ty did the same. Their respective rhythms aligned. "But..." Ty continued, his voice faltering. "If you don't wanna see me, I can go--" "Convince me." Louie was blurting out before he thought twice about it. "Huh?" "I need to open this door but, like surprise surprise, I'm scared. You've done it before. I get scared and you talk me into stuff. Do your big strong hero magic and get me to suck it up. Please, I need it." "Oh, uh, I--" He could hear how flustered Ty had gotten suddenly being put on the spot. "Well, I--...I guess you don't have a choice 'cause if you don't open up, I'm strong enough to barricade the door down. So, I figure we should just do this the easy way." Despite the circumstances and the scruple wrung tense in his stomach, Louie felt the corner of his beak twitch at the tentative touch to Ty's tone. He felt his stiff shoulders relax. "Is that a threat, Tiberius?" "Uh, no." Ty admitted, sounding sheepish. "That was just a joke. See, it was the first thing that came into my head and then suddenly I was saying it. Sorry, I dunno for sure if now is "joke time" and I figured it'd be kinda weird to ask so--" He didn't get to finish rambling. His hair whipped to the side with the rush of air that came with the swift swing of the door. Louie fixed him with a hard look, processing the sight of his retainer standing there, alive and bright eyed. Ty's hand was still hovering awkwardly in the air, where he assumed it had been resting against the door. He blinked back at him, puzzled and a little alarmed, as if caught under a spotlight. He didn't look angry. But Louie knew better than to lull himself into thinking he was in the clear. Whatever resentment Ty was feeling would spill out in time. Louie braced himself. "Hey, Ty." He said stiffly. "Come on in."

winter’s fanfic recs

last updated: 5 July 2020

ok so you want good fanfics?? emotional rollercoasters?? gut wrenching angst?? toe curling fluff???  well listen I have you covered. keeping this pinned (maybe) and ill try update whenever i can!

listen i consume so much fanfiction per day it tends to all get blurred in my head, plus life lol. so these fics are truly standouts because they resonated that much with me that i have reread them countless times, and will continue to do so!!!

below the cut are links to the fic and some brief comments where i tried to encapsulate as much as I could, as concisely as possible LMAO but it was really hard okay

anyone who follows me knows i am Rain’s Biggest Fan lMAOOOO so it comes as no surprise that i recommend everything by @/revasserium

but here are a handful...that, you know, if the world ended and all the libraries burnt to crisps and the internet emptied itself...these r the ones i’d salvage:

found among the ruins - kageyama x reader all time favourite, nothing will change this from being my #1. this has lines you won’t forget!! fantastic historical references just woven into this story, ties in amazingly with kageyama like. damn. “when they lose to seijoh, he doesn’t cry” is just such an iconic line, it randomly comes back at me and i HAVE to go and reread this. brilliant. brilliant. brilliant.

universal truths - kageyama x reader ok this fic is barely a day old and it’s pinned on my blog so go and read it now. just read the author’s note at the beginning and tell me you’re not immediately enticed lmao. i can't say anymore about this bc words just don’t do it justice so just read rain’s tags:

and tell me this isn’t poetry 

love as dead as one of the languages - oikawa x reader (assassin au) LIKE...THIS IS NOT A STORY THIS IS A WHOLE MOVIE. oikawa n iwaizumi duo as assassins and yes it’s just as sexy as u think. perfect undertones of angst, oikawa angst by rain is the Best thing ever. man read this so you can talk to me about it, im obsessed w spy aus and this comes rlly close

so this is how summer ends - oikawa x reader

first paragraph in this is probably singlehandedly the most phenomenal metaphor i have ever come across. it just sets the tone for the story incredibly well and i have no words, this really, really, really hurt me but i Always come back to it, because there’s a hopeful part of me that thinks it might be different each time lMAO

hate - tsukki x reader this is AWESOME. the pacing of this fic is just to die for, you’ll know what i mean when you read. the cold open, but then the way it just develops throughout the story and you finally get the full picture - phew. absolutely a masterpiece, yet again, and it’s so so perfect. don’t be shy read it

stolen kisses - sakusa x reader imsidjakjdha this is awesome, great reading of sakusa, so fluffy and adorable and toe curlingly sweet. i love this, really adore this and it’ll make you feel so much better if you’re having a bad day, trust me on this. fricking adorable

those who make sandcastles - kakashi x reader

so I’ve never watched naruto ever lmao (except two episodes rain generously linked me which...I still never recovered from) but this is so so unspeakably beautiful to me. I don’t think you understand...like from a person who didn’t know who this guy was, god reading this was a raw experience and I just. it’s gorgeous please talk to me about this fic. I’m sure it’ll hit way different when u actually know his character. but omg I just. 😭 so many gorgeous lines in this fic in PARTICULAR I am never gonna be over this one

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next we have the iconic @/bleedinqhearts and you’ve probably come across her work at some point or another, so good!!!! well i have more to show you!!!!!!!

what we owe to each other - oikawa x reader (spy au) THIS is the fic that inspired me to write no sound like silence lmao so go and read this one bc it’s infinitely more superb and snappy and WOW. it honestly takes a lot for me to EVER reread fanfics, but this one is One i easily, easily come back to because it’s so addictively well-written. the cliffhanger at the beginning tho ooooffff ;)

we were thieves - kuroo x reader (heist?au) one of the most criminally underrated fics if i’m honest!! so great so great, kuroo is just OOOF in this like, just WAIT til he comes in. honestly sad this is the only part but hey there’s just so much description that you can easily insert this as ur emotional support daydream and enjoy ur own spin-off in ur head

with time - ushijima x reader yeah like, this has 1000+ notes for GOOD reason. fricking amazing, absolutely tore me apart but the ending is so endearing, so sweet, you’ll probably shed a couple tears. ushijima being a big oaf is all i live for and UGH this will literally make you squeal, it is SO helplessly adorable and sweet and i just want to be in love so bad

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ok next writer is @/xuyue who you all know i Stan. just go and read all of her works please i beg of you, she’s got some incredible lines and fricking gorgeous pacing, i feel like im on cloud nine with every one of her fics. but you ALL know which one my favourite is:

asteria - yamaguchi x reader I WILL GO TO THE GRAVE WITH THIS FIC I SWEAR ITS AMAZING...i fell head over heels in love with yamaguchi after reading this lmao like wow. and the last line will haunt you forever and ever...just go to the reblogs of this fic and you’ll see the trail of my comments and delirious ramblings lmao

between us - iwaizumi x reader (historical au)

HI LMAO THIS SERIES WILL ABSOLUTELY RUIN YOU ITS THE FRIKCIRHH BEST historical aus have NEVER been done better yue clearly put in a ton of effort to research this and FIRCK Japanese edo period just...comes to LIFE before your eyes like GOD...but this fic encapsulates forbidden love, mutual pining but 100x angstier, and I think you’ll just be overwhelmed by a sense of hopelessness all the way through. goddd iwaizumi is just SO noble in this and part 6 will fricking obliterate you also please read if it’s you which is oikawa x reader (historical au) ahahaah ahaha

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ok ok. are u ready for the kicker coz yes its the amazing @/krystallisert my blog is currently named after two of her fics because i am but a Shrine to god tier writing. so check out the link in my description box (god who am i) and browse throughhhh <3 NOT my masterlist do NOT interact

da capo - oikawa x reader x iwaizumi (soulmate au, unrequited love) THE FACT WE STANNED THIS SO HARD THAT NIGHT LMAOAOOA I LOVE IT. i even have a tag for this fic, that’s how bad it got me. honestly my hands are shaking as i type this bc i really don't know how to explain how incredible this fic is..how much it means to me. i CRIED so hard, i screamed and cursed like this GOT me. i said it once before, but this story EVOLVES before your eyes - each chapter is in a new perspective and you collect all these new details, you see things in a new light, and iwaizumi’s chapter will properly break your heart...but also oikawa’s chapter shook me to the core n i really LOVE the characterisation here. 

bitter/sweet - ushijima x reader (fake dating au, billionaire au) uMMMMM THE FACT I ALSO HAVE A TAG FOR THIS WHY DIDNT ANY OF YALL MESSAGE ME ABOUT THIS ??? i had a TIME reading this fic. i had the best time of my life. god when you find people who can write ushijima it’s the best fricking thing ever. like...he is so amazing in this oh my god. this fic in particular brings the characters and the scenes to LIFE. it just feels so real, so tangible, and you...you just know what i mean if you read it ok. i was blushing all throughout this fic, tingles up my spine...the LOT

highways: in defiance - oikawa x reader (dystopian au)

oh my god. ok I am really not coherent right now as I type this bc my emotions have seriously been sucked dry...THIS fic is absolutely stunning. please read it. the relationship building is so gorgeously executed, you will fall in love with ever-observant, rebellious oikawa, he is just a DREAM in this. I am so in love oh my gosh it’s so beautiful, I love them, I’m in love, it hurt in a lot of places but the ending will just make you so soft for the universe 🥺

highways: in colour - akaashi x reader (dystopian au)

HEY THIS FIC BROKE ME LMAOOOO GODDDD this is the first instalment of the highways series that I read and yeah it’s GORGEOUS. the language is so vivid and colourful, you’ve got smuggler/painter akaashi vibes whose creativity has been repressed because of this totalitarian regime, and this secret lil relationship is just doomed from the start but it makes you hope, so desperately, it just makes you hope and hope and hope because that’s what dystopian stories are all about right? the ending will BREAK you

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a new addition bc this writer is so brilliant, so big-brained, I am genuinely in love with everything she’s ever written MUAH I LOVE @/wander-lu5t

underwater — ushijima x reader

this basically follows canon post timeskip so WOW it’s amazing and so beautiful. a long fic but seriously not to be missed, every chapter is so engaging and beautiful and you will just feel so so so much. the characterisation is absolutely impeccable!!! I love it so much...I have so many feelings...ahhhh

into the new world - atsumu x reader, ushijima x reader, kita x reader (soulmate au)

HAHAHAHA FRICK THIS SERIES IS ACTUALLY JUTST BLOODY INCREDIBLE WOULD PAY FOR A WHOLE BOOK FILLED WITH EVERY CHARACTER FROM HQ IN THIS SETTING!!! so it’s a three part series featuring diff characters in which reader is thrown into a new world and meets her soulmate, discovering their name is written somewhere on their body. it’s just amazing. I do not know which one is my favourite truly. they’re all so incredibly good in their own right and of course the characterisation is amazing. to summarise the way I feel:

atsumu: HILARIOUS. you will be laughing from start to end, I swear. he is such a drama baby but it’s so funny lmao. the dynamics are seriously to die for, everything is just brilliant!!! if you need a pick me up, read this!! and the ending is just AGHHH IT TIES THE FIC TOGETHER IN SUCH A LOVELY MANNER

ushijima: THIS WAS SOOO INTERESTING OMG. reader is low key so dodgy LMAO we love to see that scoundrel energy contrast against prim and perfect ushijima. another gorgeous one, there’s one line in here that especially broke my heart and you will know which one it is. sigh...OH AND TENDOU IN THIS LMAO

kita: ok this is possibly my favourite one of the three...I’m so??!?! it’s especially magical ahhh and romantic, you will swoon so much. if you want to feel particularly swept off your feet, kita’s your man, and this fic is the one for you. I am so in love with him after this LMAO like to an unhealthy degree. I just want to move into the countryside on a farm and live my best life with that man <3 and his grandma LMAO

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here’s a RANDOM RANDOM rec bc it’s not haikyuu, it’s star wars, it’s reylo aka one of the most controversial ships in the world yes, i know -

crossroads trilogy - reylo YEPPP this series absolutely ruined me and it will ruin you too. the plot in this is like crazy good and the fact it was written pre-the last jedi always kinda freaks me out bc of how many parallels it had to the movie. wow. yeah i should reread this bc it was absolutely incredible 

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in conclusion please go and tell your favourite writers that you enjoyed what they wrote! it’s a simple gesture of appreciation & it really does mean a lot, so don’t forget to say thank you!! they work hard ya know!!

Things That Were (Branjie) - pureCAMP

A/N - … Hi.

I won’t get into it, I don’t think I need to. But here’s a return no one expected, at least.

I wrote this based on some Feelings I have and also Jinkx’s song The Auld Lang Syne Song from… Christmas Queens 3? It has this beautiful sad, wistful, nostalgic kind of feel and it made me nostalgic for love and that strange time between Christmas and New Years. Largely sad, mostly bittersweet. Dedicated to my love Ortega, and in part for the nostalgia fic challenge.

I appreciate any and all support I’ve been given over these past months.

You have a new memory from (1) years ago!

Brooke swipes across absent-mindedly. She doesn’t think much about it, they pop up all the time in the holiday season. There’s a little loading screen, decorated with animated tinsel, that flashes in her face before every ounce of breath is knocked out of her body.

This is what dying feels like. Brooke wonders if there’s a loading screen before entrance into the afterlife. She supposes it would allow the dead some time to adjust, at least.

It’s a perfect, filtered picture. The Christmas tree looks beautiful, even as the pine dies, all decked in shades of red and gold, glittering twists and lights that twinkle gently enough to lull you to sleep. It stands tall in the background of the photo, illuminating everything with a cosy glow. At the forefront of the image, Brooke is that kind of happy, sleepy, warm drunk. Full of Baileys, probably, and little mini mince pies and leftover chocolate from boxes opened and half-finished. There’s a glass of red wine behind her, slightly visible on the table. She’s cradling Henry to her chest, kissing the top of his head.

Vanessa is next to her. The remnants of plum lipstick still on her lips, grinning, Apollo in her arms. She’s beautiful. She looks and feels like how Christmas is supposed to - welcoming, kind, gentle, sweet. And Brooke knows that she’s drunk too, and right after this she burst into laughter and her foghorn voice shattered the cosiness and it was so right and so them. And she knows how her stomach had twisted horribly after they took it.

It’s perfect. She won’t share this one. It will stay in her archives. It’s really been a year, huh.

The cats look at her accusingly, as if they know. They probably do know. They know everything about Brooke. Every flaw, every fault. If they could speak, she knows they’d ask for Vanessa instead of her. Well, tough. Vanessa’s gone, Brooke thinks, almost aggressively as if she’s trying to telepathically tell them so. Vanessa’s been gone for a year.

Or has she? Vanessa isn’t the one who left. Vanessa isn’t the one who walked out without warning, who pretended the bliss was as blissful as it looked and then ran from it all. No, no, that was Brooke.

She shuts off her phone, clicks the button to make the picture fade to black. The switch from warm and bright to black is jarring. It’s probably how Vanessa felt, waking up to an empty bed.

“Brookieeeeee,” Vanessa sings. She’s grinning, cheesing so hard that her eyes have disappeared, nothing but the flicker of a fake eyelash visible from them. “Brooklyn Briiiiiidge…”

Brooke turns, laughing, and waves away the whistles and teasing mumbles from their friends. “Vanjie?”

She pushes her lips together and makes kissy noises, wordlessly begging. Brooke gently holds her chin, lifts her head, kisses. She tastes like cinnamon and nutmeg and chocolate, a festive concoction of things that Brooke usually hates but loves on her. Vanessa looks amazing in gold and she’s an Oscar from head to toe, sparkling, beautiful.

Akeria makes pointed eye contact with Brooke, then mimes gagging herself with two fingers.

Vanessa rolls her eyes, the fondness on her face so evident that it could light up the entire bar. “I love you.”

And Brooke kisses her. The kiss says what it needs to.

Christmas a whole year ago. Brooke made a series of decisions. Stupid ones, maybe. Definitely. She doesn’t know who she’s kidding.

Funny how she finds it so hard to kid herself. Apparently, she had no issue kidding Vanessa.

A little while after Silky comments that Brooke really shouldn’t still be living in the shithole apartment she rented at 20, she realises that as rude and bluntly honest it had seemed at the time, she’s right. She resolves not to mention this to Silky, in case her ego inflates too far and she flies away like Aunt Marge (she thinks this with love), and starts looking online. And it’s impossible.

So out comes the phone, because there’s only one person to go to for this. For anything. Because she’s always there and she’s always willing and she only ever wants some quality time as payment.

B: Vanjie [8.22pm]

B: Vanjerella….. [8.22pm]

B: Vanessaaaaaa [8.23pm]

V: brooke lynn hytes [8.24pm]

B: Not the full name… am I in trouble? [8.24pm]

V: do u wanna be? ;) [8.24pm]

B: Hmm… I’ll think about it… [8.24pm]

B: Anyway I need your heeeeeelp [8.24pm]

V: i gotchu boo [8.25pm]

V: what u need baby [8.25pm]

B: Cutie [8.25pm]

B: I’m going apartment hunting, help me look? Idk what to even look for [8.25pm]

V: exciting!!!!!! [8.26pm]

V: babyyyyy this is so exciting for u omg!!! I love moving [8.26pm]

V: i hope i can help!! im usually terrible at this but i think we’ll have fun!! [8.26pm]

V: although i gotta wonder what made u ask me instead of somebody smart like nina [8.27pm]

B: Ah shit, great point nvm I’ll ask her [8.28pm]

B: Jk. Asked u because ur always here visiting, may as well find something u like as well <3 [8.28pm]

V: u bout to make a bitch cry [8.29pm]

Vanessa was over in maybe ten minutes tops, Brooke remembers. It was like she could read Brooke’s mind, and she’d brought coffee for them both to keep them going and even a little bag of kitty treats from the place she’d stopped at (“a guy was sellin’ them outside and I felt a little sorry for him in the cold so I bought ‘em. They’re good, the ones you usually get!”). They were up for hours scrolling, and then searching in person just so that she could act as a second opinion.

Brooke stands up from the couch and walks slowly, heavily, towards the window. Her Christmas tree is silver this year, silver and purple, and as pretty and icy as it had seemed when she decorated it, it feels cold and desolate now. It reflects on the glass and for a moment it’s hard to focus on the world outside when the world inside is so disturbed, but she manages. Dark as it is, the lights of the city are never gone, and she has a beautiful view of a metropolitan paradise laid out beneath her.

Vanessa loved the view. She picked it, in a way. Brooke was unsure about the viewing, and Vanessa wheedled, tugging her arm and telling her she’d love it.

She did love the view. But it was Vanessa’s view, that she saw first, that she loved first. Now it just makes Brooke feel sick. Sick at herself. Like it’s not hers to look at, and she shouldn’t.

She looks away.

A change of scenery helps to calm the mind, Brooke thinks. Nina told her that once, she vaguely recalls, as she sobbed helplessly into the arms of the only one who would listen. The only one who didn’t think of her as a raging evil bitch, and more of a hopeless coward instead. It’s not much better, but it’s a small comfort given how much she hates herself for it. She’s more inclined to go with what the rest of them all thought after it happened.

It’s late, anyway. Maybe it really is time to read a book and push down the thoughts and try to sleep away the regret.

“Oh god, oh god. Vane- fuck,” She breathes.

Waves of pleasure shoot through her, beginning deep in her belly and sending shockwaves all up Brooke’s back. Her hands grasp at the sheets around her head, desperate, clinging, her mind and body totally incognizant of each other. Her body is on fire, and her mind isn’t even functioning correctly.

Vanessa’s mouth is hot and fast and her tongue is skilled, and every time she grazes over her clit with the swift, feather-light touches Brooke thinks she’s going to pass out. Her fists grab tighter and her toes curl and a gasp floats from her lips, accidental, unstoppable. She manages to tear one hand away and threads it into Vanessa’s dark hair, urging her to keep going.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, fuck…” She manages.

The goddess between her legs doesn’t stop, not until long after the inaudible mumblings have stopped falling from Brooke’s lips and her breaths are finally starting to slow, and she wonders how Heaven is meant to be above them when she feels herself sinking into it right now. Brooke thinks absent that maybe Heaven is here and everything else is Hell because nothing feels like being with Vanessa feels, and when they’re naked and intertwined and breathless and warm maybe they’re closer to God than they’ll ever be.

She catches herself before three words make their way out.

“God, this fucking mattress…” Is what she ends up producing. It’s digging into her back, lumpy and old. She’s only just noticed, in truth.

Vanessa’s head lifts, her makeup smudged in a way that feels beyond sinful to look at. She licks her lips coyly, sucks off her finger, and offers a lazy, heady sort of smile.

“The mattress? That’s all you got, boo?”

She’s laughing, happy, delirious. Brooke laughs too. “I don’t have to say anything about you. Isn’t the state of me enough?”

It is. On her back, chest peppered with bruises not yet formed, chest rising and falling beyond her control, legs still twitching slightly. Brooke’s completely spent, blissed out, exhausted. Vanessa’s still worn out from hers and yet her tongue is musical and the melodies were handcrafted by all the muses of the ancient world.

Still smiling, Vanessa shifts so she’s hovering on top of Brooke and then leans down to kiss her, their bodies colliding, Brooke tasting herself on the lips of her lover. It’s nights like these that make her feel like the world is a good place to be. That everything is fixable, everything is brilliant.

“We should get you a new mattress, baby,” Vanessa tells her when they break apart. “And I’ll probably never leave.”

Brooke forces a laugh, but the idea isn’t laughable. Vanessa and Forever go hand in hand, somehow.

And they do go shopping for a mattress for Brooke’s place. They wander through stores and discuss mattress firmness and size and height and flop down until they feel as though they’re ready to drop, and then Vanessa lands on one and yells “BROOKIE!” so loud that her voice - that goddamn voice - almost shatters the glass. She’s laying down with a beam on her face like nothing Brooke’s ever seen, pure sunshine, and she clearly has the best taste in mattresses because when she buys it, Brooke’s never slept so good in her life.

The bed is cold. Brooke deserves a cold bed. She left Vanessa in one, so it’s the least she can deal with it.

They weren’t always at Brooke’s - sometimes it was Vanessa’s too, for the sake of variety. Looking back on those memories makes Brooke feel like the biggest idiot in the world. Which she is, of course, and she knows it. But even here, the mini Christmas tree is cold and isolated, and Vanessa gave it to her as an early gift last Christmas, and Vanessa chose the mattress, and Vanessa picked the view. Brooke stares at everything that Vanessa has touched in her life and wonders why in the world she let herself ruin something so good. It’s selfish and stupid and self-sabotaging and that angel of a woman deserves so much more.

She thinks about sharing the picture. She could caption it with that song, ‘Now I’m in the house you chose and the bed you bought to face your perfect view’, and that could be her apology. Because she knows all too well she’s too much of a blind coward to say it properly. And Vanessa won’t see it even if she does share, because they’re not friends anymore. Someone will get it to her - probably Silky - but that’s not worth it.

Brooke opens her phone again, and swipes away from the picture before she does something stupid. Then she opens her texts.

B: Are you busy? [10.11pm]

B: Oh shit sorry, just saw Yvie’s insta, u guys are out tonight. Ignore this x [10.13pm]

N: No no! They’re out, I’m home because I was working all day and I was too tired :( [10.19pm]

N: What do you need hun? <3 [10.20pm]

B: If ur tired it’s okay, I’ll talk to u another time x [10.20pm]

N: Shut up. I’m here [10.21pm]

N: I think I know what’s going on. Right time of year [10.21pm]

B: I’m just an idiot, idk [10.22pm]

N: Nope. Stay where you are, I’m coming over. [10.22pm]

N: Did she text you? [10.24pm]

B: She’s not that stupid lmao why would she [10.24pm]

Nina is the only one who bothered to ask what the hell was going on when it happened. It’s not like Brooke can blame the others, and she doesn’t either. If someone did that to her best friends, she would be the same. And she is the same - she hates herself passionately for it. But Nina has this untraceable kindness to her, this unfathomable tenderness that seems to have no beginnings, no ends, no limits. It flows so freely from her, like a gift.

She has no idea how much time passes by crying and looking blankly at her phone, or even any idea when she started crying, but the doorbell rings and Brooke answers it already in tears and Nina sweeps her into a hug like it’s the easiest thing in the world, and maybe it is. To love your friends is easy and natural, like taking a breath in clean air.

To love someone special is like inhaling in water, drowning, getting lost. And you have to be content with the helplessness in order to survive it, or at least strong enough to swim and keep it going. You can’t just sink. Brooke couldn’t handle drowning.

“I’m a fucking idiot,” She weeps into Nina’s arms, once her choking sobs settle into streaming tears. It’s not better, just different. “I wanted to be with her forever and that was so fucking scary.”

Nina rubs her back. “Breathe, breathe. It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.”

“Is- is she okay?”

Stupid question. Brooke isn’t sure she even wants to know.

The hug finishes; they’re on the couch again. Nina pulls out her phone, frowning, and pauses like she’s thinking. She looks guilty, which is unusual.

“I would never normally show a friend’s text, y’know? It’s private, I don’t do all that betraying trust stuff. But I know she’ll delete these tomorrow morning and I think you should see them before she does.”

V: so its been a ear then hasnr it [10.56pm]

V: a year of fwithout brook [10.56pm]

V: honestly fuck her yknw what i man [10.56pm]

V: she fuckin broke mt heart man why did she do that [10.56pm]

V: i miss her an the stupid vats so muhc [10.57pm]

V: tha sonf auld lang syne plaed earlier in the bar bef4 eht club [10.57pm]

V: very apropaotye hahahahksjkdh [10.57pm]

V: may rhe acwanriance be forgot forever and fuckung ever [10.57pm]

V: is okay i can lobe w the bitternness [10.57pm]

V: i just kisd girls unt il it dont hurt [10.57pm]

Brooke sobs. Again, loud, shaking, broken. Because Vanessa is hurting so much even a year after it happened and everything feels so raw and it’s entirely her own fault for crushing the dream they were building.

“I miss her so fucking much, I don’t know why- I don’t know why I walked out,” She babbles, helpless and hopeless and hurt. “I’m fucking lying, Nina, I know why, I know why I did it. Why did I fucking-”

She knows all too well. Because Vanessa helped her pick an apartment and Vanessa picked her bed and Vanessa loved her cats. Because Brooke could imagine them getting married and growing old and it had barely been four months by the time Christmas and New Years were rolling around and everything seemed so serious and so intense, and that didn’t mean it wasn’t fun but it was scary in the same breath because speed was terrifying.

Brooke is bitter, but only at herself.

New Years Day. January 1st, a brand new year, a bright new start. The frost glistens freshly on the undisturbed morning, and all across the city, singles and couples sleep through the dawn, hungover or still passed out drunk, party hats akimbo, party blowers still suspended in smudged lipsticky mouths.

It’s early, enough that the daylight is blinding but pale and faded. Vanessa’s bedroom has the huge window that she never covers, and she sleeps through it like the dead. Brooke wakes up and looks around.

She looks at everything but Vanessa, but eventually her gentle snuffling is too much to ignore and she looks down at her beautiful sleeping form. She’s a disaster, hair everywhere and glitter still all over her face, and she’s the most breathtaking woman in the entire wide world. Something heavy and all encompassing sweeps into Brooke’s chest, and she can identify it by name. It’s only four letters, but it strikes a fear in her like an old god from a lost world. She needs to vomit. She needs to run. She needs an escape.

Before she even knows who she is again, any of the things that ended up staying half their time at Vanessa’s are stuffed into a couple of carrier bags and she’s in her dress from the party and out of the door into the cold winter air, panicked, unable to breathe.

It’s a heart attack, she thinks. Or a panic attack. It’s an attack that feels like it’s going to kill her, and she runs away, and she runs all the way home and barricades the door shut, dropping her belongings on the floor, numb and confused and cold. It’s the start of the new year and she begins it alone, hyperventilating.

Within a couple of days the worried texts subside and the angry vengeful ones start flooding in, and just like that Brooke’s lost the best thing that ever happened to her and all of her friends along with it. Because she got up on new year’s day and abandoned Vanessa fast asleep and that was the end.

It’s ugly and chilling, how much she cries into Nina’s gentleness. The only thing that stops her is, ironically, the thing that makes her feel worse, the characteristic ‘ping!’ of Nina’s phone, undoubtedly more drunk texts.

V: i hoper he fucjibg bubble bursts this tie of year [11.23pm]

V: every jhanduary first for the rest of hersitnkin life [11.23pm]

“I deserve it,” Brooke whispers hoarsely, “But she doesn’t. She never did.”

“Neither of you do,” Nina tells her sadly. “They don’t all hate you, they hate what you did the way friends always do when breakups happen. You both deserve to be happy. And both of you have been dreading New Year’s for this exact reason.”

It hurts to hear, and Brooke wishes she doesn’t have to listen, but her friend is so goddamn wise it feels stupid not to.

“Two days until it’s officially New Year.” Nina kisses her hand. “Can you keep living like this, Brooke?”

It’s not like she even has to say it for Brooke to understand. “She hates me.”

Nina shakes her head. “No she doesn’t. She loves you.”

“That’s worse.”

“You love her.”

“I know.”

“You got scared.”

“I still am.”

“Face your fears.” Nina holds her at arm’s length, forcing her to look right into her face. “This hurts more than what blundering through it would, surely? Fire doesn’t always mean you get burned, sweetie. Sometimes it just warms you.”

She makes no fucking sense.

“I can’t play with Vanessa like that again.” Brooke swears. “I can’t.

The transitional period between Christmas and New Year doesn’t feel like real time. It’s just liminal space, a waiting room of chronology, a suspension in space. If she’s honest, trying now causes no harm, because it’s like it didn’t even happen. Maybe she should, maybe she will.

Eventually Nina leaves, pressing a kiss to her forehead and promising that somehow everything is going to be okay. She’s like a fairy godmother, Brooke thinks to herself. Always knowing, always positive, and total magic to behold.

She’s awake all night long just staring at the time on the top of her phone, lying in bed sideways and wondering if she’ll do it. It has to be right. It can’t be when she’ll still be awake and drunk and angry. But it can’t be on the anniversary of her biggest fuck up, because that just feels like some kind of sick joke and that’s not what she wants.

The entire night passes. At six am, her finger hovers over the send button for a full three minutes. She counts the seconds.

B: I fucked up. If u’ll have me, I’ll never mess u around again. I didn’t know I could love someone so much and then u came along and everything sped up and I wasn’t fast enough. I shouldn’t have thrown away what we had when it was as close to perfect as anything can get. This message is all me me me I I I but if ur okay with it, I think new year should begin right this time. I’ll hold u and I won’t let go, and u don’t even have to hold me as long as ur here. Everything is up to u. I’ll learn to live with what I did if u say no. Because I totally get why u should hate me. I hate me too, kinda. U did nothing wrong. U were and will always be perfect. [6.03am]

B: Full disclosure is I was scared of how much and how quick I loved u. But it didn’t go away even when I hurt u. I was stupid to do that, and I don’t wanna do another year in the shadow of that massive mistake. [6.05am]

B: I won’t say it here, because thats cheap for u. But I’ll say it when I see u again. I promise, and I want to [6.13am]

She falls asleep with her phone in her hand after being awake all night long.

She wakes up four hours later.

V: ur dumb [9.51am]

V: theres a party at yvies for new years yknow [9.52am]

V: im not saying ill kiss u at midnight but [9.52am]

V: fuck around and find out [9.52am]

(tags: purecamp, branjie, brooke lynn hytes, vanessa vanjie mateo, lesbian au, things that were, fic challenge, nostalgia challenge, nina west)

Tags: @loganis-sherlock (mkay um…imma make a taglist soooo….if you wanna be on it…ask ig?)

Pairings: Anxceit

Prompt: 10. “How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?” 47. “You deserve so much better.” 50. “I’m sorry i’m not enough for you.” from prompts

A/n: hhhhhhh o w just like….the prompts hurt…damn ok….also…im delirious soo…~meh~….I cant write like…fight scenes sooooo…this is the best you’re gonna get aksjsmd sorry also it ended up being longer than I intended.

Tw: ~angst~?, mentions of like…alcohol or being intoxicated? ita like…a kinda toxic…relationship? but like….not really? idk its not a super healthy relationship, mentions of bars, mentions of hookups, panic attack, cursing, mentions of blood

“Virgil….”

“No. You should’ve thought before you did it!!!”

“I wasn’t sober!”

“Yeah, and thats the problem Janus!! You rarely are anymore!!” Virgil started feeling lightheated and thought he was going to faint at any second, but ignored it.

“I- wow you so aren’t being dramatic.”

“Oh yeah! Of course. My boyfriend only cheated on me and tried to lie about it. Yeah, you’re right, nothing big.”

“Virgil thats not what I meant-”

“Mhm.” He then started feeling extremely hot, despite it being extremely cold a few seconds ago. He could also feel his heart beating extremely fast, but blamed it on him being mad.

“Virgil why are you so stubborn? I’m trying to defend myself.”

“Yeah yeah yeah whatever you weren’t sober and weren’t in a good place mentally so instead of talking about it or asking for support, you went to the bar, hooked up with someone, and thought you could get away with it.”

“I-Virgil I love you though…”

“Do you? Huh…thats funny…really funny….I really want to believe that…but I can’t.”

“Im telling the truth you’re just being stubborn!”

“How was I such and idiot that you, out of all people, could ever love me??”

“Virgil! I do love you!! You’re just being….ridiculous!”

“Mhm. Telling me that is going to make this situation better Janus.” Virgil started very quietly gasping for air. He couldn’t breathe anymore…..

“Virgil i’m sorry, alright?! I am. I swear I am…but please calm down. I get you’re mad and you have every right to be. But please. Calm down.”

“You don’t tell me to calm down!!!” He screamed. He actually screamed….was..he going crazy? Nononono he can’t …everyone will hate him..more than they already do and they’ll all leave him and he won’t have any friends…he can’t go crazy….he can’t. Janus was taken back. Virgil…never raises his voice. He jumped slightly when Virgil collapsed onto the wall. Janus moved to catch him and sat both of them down. Virgil moved away from Janus.

“Virgil name five things you see.”

“All i’m seeing is your bullshit lies! Thats hearing but whatever!! I don’t care!! Everything you say is bullshit!!”

“Virgil. Please name five things you see.”

“Why? Im fine!! Just fucking fine!!”

“No you aren’t. Please name five things you see…please.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “You, the floor, the wall, the kitchen, stairs.”

“Good, thank you. Name four things you hear?”

“Air conditioner, you, cars….breathing.”

“Thanksss. Three things you feel?”

“…Hoodie…” He shook his head, not being able to feel anything.

“Good job. Two things you smell?”

“Mint….I- uh…don’t k-know….”

“Thats alright. One thing you taste?”

“Blood….”

“Thank you Virgil. Breathe in for four seconds, seven seconds, and exhale for eight seconds.” Virgil followed Janus’ instructions a few times.

“Im sorry….” Virgil said after a few minutes. He sat down against that wall. Janus sat next to him.

“Why? You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I lashed out and became emotional and wasn’t listening to you or your reasoning…”

“Virgil. How you reacted, was very valid and honestly, I probably would’ve reacted the same way if I were in your shoes.”

Virgil didn’t say anything. He was confused more than anything. He knows that when someone is intoxicated, they aren’t thinking properly…but yet he still feels…upset? Is that even what he’s feeling? He wasn’t sure. Feelings are confusing.

“Virgil? Are…you alright?”

Was he even mad at Janus? Should he be mad? Is Janus mad at Virgil?

Virgil nodded slightly. He kind of just wanted to forget this ever happened, but he knew that that was unrealistic.

“I’m sorry i’m not enough for you…”

“Virgil, you are. You are more than enough. You are sweet, caring, trustful, smart, beautiful, and so much more. Virgil I swear to any higher power person, or supernatural being, that you are enough.”

Virgil was silently crying. Was anything that Janus was saying true? People are the most truthful when they’re drunk…but they also don’t have any sense of morality.

Janus saw that Virgil was curled into himself, silently crying. “Is touch alright?” Virgil nodded slightly. Janus scooted next to Virgil and rubbed his back. Virgil scooted closer to Janus and eventually Janus pulled Virgil on his lap. “You okay with this?” Virgil nodded and leaned into Janus.

Virgil kept repeating an apology. He wasn’t even sure why he was crying. “I’m sorry for being dramatic and dumb and annoying-” He kept listing off things he thought he was for a minute or so. “I’m sorry……you deserve so much better….i’m sorry…”

“Virgil. You’re totally all of those things. You are enough, in fact, you’re more than enough. You did nothing wrong and therefore have no reason to apologize. You always have been enough and you forever will be.” Virgil moved so that he could hug Janus and Janus rubbed his back. They both wanted to start over or at least be friends but weren’t sure if the other wanted that.

Ares has a bad day

.

“WHY THE FUCK WON'T YOU DIE???”, the war god shrieked furiously, while while stabbing a random mortal soldier like there was no tomorrow.

Dammit, that little fucker should have been long dead by now! Instead he just lay on the ground screaming and crying in agony like a bitch – but he just wouldn't die!!!

“I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, JUST KILL ME, OHMYGODS-”

“I'm trying, alright?!”, Ares snapped. “Now shut the fuck up! I gotta think …”

But that was kind of hard with thousands of mortal warriors lying around the battlefield similarly screaming and bleeding out.

Which both aggravated and confused the war god; why were they all still alive?! Where was the fun in war, if no one died?!? How was that even possible, most of them should have died of their wounds.

Why was no one dying?!

Where were the Keres? Where was Thanatos?!

Wait … exactly! Where the fuck was Death?!

He would have to give Hades a call. Surely, the King of Erebos would have answers.

“Ares … Ares … ARES, PICK UP THE CALL, DAMNIT!!!”

The war god jumped, but groaned in annoyance and produced his far-speaker.

“Hello, this is Ares, god of terrible war, what do you want?”

A sigh on the other end: “Ares, it's me. Your uncle Hades.”

“Oh, hey! Yeah, listen, there's a problem up here …”

“No one is dying?”

“Yeah. Uncle, where is Thanatos?!”

“Tartaros, if I know!”

“What the fuck?!”

“Yeah. No one has died in over a year! Listen, Ares, I can't leave Erebos because of my work, so you have to help me out – please. I have quotas to fill!”

“What, so you don't lose out to Ereshkigal and Hel again?”, Ares teased.

There was an annoyed grumble at the other end of the line: “Haha, very funny, you git! Just go and get Thanatos back! The last time I saw him was when I sent him to get the criminal Sisyphos. He still hasn't returned and many people in need of the relief of gentle death are suffering. And the Keres are suddenly burdened with work they can't handle. Just yesterday they collapsed from exhaustion. And that disgusting mortal is still alive.”

“Oh, that guy! He killed his guests and cock-blocked my dad, didn't he?”

“NEPHEW!”

The war god winced and held the far-speaker away from his ear.

“What the fuck, don't scream into my ear! Alright, so that explains why no one's dyin' here. Yeah, I'll have found 'im by the evenin'. Expect me in your halls by the end of the day, with Thanatos and that fucker Sisyphos. See ya.” Then he ended the call.

Ares huffed in frustration and went off to find … wait. Where did that motherfucking arsehole live again? Oh right, Corinth …

Just an hour later, a very pissed-off war god burst through Sisyphos' front door.

Upon finding him (a mousy-looking man in his late 60s), he seized him by the tunic and roared: “ALRIGHT, YOU SON OF A BITCH, WHERE THE FUCK IS THANATOS?!”

Sisyphos stuttered: “U-uhm, y-you seem a bit upset, how about a drink fir-”

He didn't get to finish his sentence, because Ares knocked him out.

Scornfully the god looked down on the unconscious mortal. “Never mind, I'll find him by myself. Nice try though, but that has never worked on me!”

Then he searched the whole palace, until he got to the king's bedchamber. There he found a closet, which was unnecessarily covered in chains. Bingo.

With ease he tore the chains away, opened the closet and the weakened death god dropped before Ares' feet.

The war god grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. “Thanatos! Oi! Can you hear me? Wake up!”

Finally, but oh so slowly, Thanatos opened his eyes and blinked disorientatedly. “Wh-what … happened …?”

“Ya dumb fuck let that ugly bastard getcha drunk and lock ya in a fucking closet, so I had to come here to save ya 'cause no one's dying! What the fuck, man! You had one job! How am I supposed to have fun, if no one is d-mhmph????”

Ares froze, when Thanatos pressed his chapped lips to his own.

“Thank you”, he croaked, before passing out.

For a few minutes Ares was paralysed.

Then he snapped out of his shock, vehemently wiped his mouth and stared at the son of Nyx in horror and disgust.

“Ewww! What the Tartaros is wrong with you! Damn, I feel like I'm in some cheesy romance play by Dionysos, where I have to save the damsel in distress or some weird shit. Now, where's your scythe … oh, there it is!”

With a huff he grabbed the death god's scythe, threw him over his shoulders and dragged the mortal, the death god and the scythe straight down to the underworld.

There he throttled Kharon, until the old geezer gave him and Thanatos a ride and from there carried the poor god to the throne room, where Hades and Persephone were waiting.

“Ares!”, Persephone exclaimed and rose from her throne. “Welcome, my brother! Oh, you found Thanatos! Praise to Ananke!”

“Yeah, didn't take as long as I thought. Anyway, I think death boy here needs medical attention.”

Hades came over, shaking his head. “Really, nephew, I'll never get over how you talk about Thanatos like he isn't older than even myself. But let me see, wha- by the gloomy mists of Khaos!”

The war god had placed the unconscious Thanatos on the floor before the thrones.

The personification of death was – ironically so – more dead than alive.

“Found 'im stuffed and locked in a closet”, Ares told the royal couple. “Arsehole obviously didn't give him food or drink either. Speakin' of that mofo, he's waitin' outside the palace for someone to call him in to be judged and junk.”

Persephone nodded and waved over a few attendants to fetch nectar, ambrosia, a litter and some medical equipment. Then she bent over to examine Thanatos.

“Stretch his wings, so I can get a better look. Ares, what happened exactly?”

So he recounted everything in detail and Hades and Persephone were astounded, when he told them about that kiss.

“How odd”, Hades remarked. “Usually he only kisses his siblings and his mother.”

“I don't care, to whom he does it, as long as it isn't me!”, Ares snapped angrily.

“Now, brother”, Persephone tried to soothe him, “he was starved and dehydrated. Certainly he didn't actually mean to do this. He must have been delirious.”

“Whatever”, Ares grumbled. “I don't want him to do that ever again. Tell him that, when he wakes up. And give him my regards.”

Hades grinned: “Aw, you're leaving already? Don't you want a little snack, before you go?”

“Hades! That joke is getting old!”, cackled Persephone.

Ares just glared at the both of them – he really wasn't in the mood for this!

“No, thanks! I'm not stayin' here any longer! Bye!”

He returned to Olympos in a really bad mood and everybody took care to avoid him, while he was in that state. Grumpily he went to bed and hoped that tomorrow would be a better day.

Well, at least that came true: humans were dying again, just like they were supposed to.

He also received an apologetic letter from Thanatos. The death god wrote that he didn't remember much, but faintly recalled thinking that his twin-brother Hypnos was holding him in his arms.

Okaayyy … still, who the fuck kissed their twin on the mouth?!

Not even he and Enyo did that!

The children of Nyx were so weird!

bts reacts ! bangtan being jealous of another member❁

ღ requested:  Hi I was wondering if you could do a reaction were they are jealous of another member hanging out with their girlfriend. It could be at the beginning of their relationship so he’s a little insecure that things are not settled yet but everything turns out okay. Some angst and lots of fluff 

ღ author’s note: i slowly got more and more delirious writing this :)

➳seokjin- 

jin watched for the nth time as you went off with jimin. it’s been a month since the two of you have dated and you’ve spent a significant amount of time with jimin rather than jin, who was your boyfriend. he watched as you skipped back, and jimin smiled, unknowing to jin’s boiling anger. you kissed jin’s cheek. “hey babe, sorry jimin wanted help trying to get something.” he nodded “youre always with him, doesn’t surprise me,” you looked at him “huh?” jin looked at you with an annoyed look. “you heard me, and if you didn’t i’ll repeat, you’re always with jimin, more than you’re with me and i’m your boyfriend. why don’t you date jimin at this point because you’re always around him.” you looked down as jin spoke, you understood why he was upset. “i’m sorry, i just wanted to hang out with jimin,” Jin stood up. “i get it you’re best friends and i’m just the boyfriend,” he shrugged as you hugged him. “jin listen, i like you more, that’s why i’m dating you, not jimin. i’m sorry if i’ve made you feel insecure because of the time i’ve been spending with jimin, that was never the goal.”  he rubbed your back and nodded. “it’s fine, but please spend more time with me from now on,”

➳yoongi-

he watched as you went off with namjoon after namjoon asked if you’d like to see a new piece he was working on. yoongi debates on following but didn’t because he trusts you but he couldn’t help but get a bit worry and walked slowly to the studio as namjoon smiled as you had headphones on listening. “wahh you’re so talented namjoon, i love listening to your new music,” you grinned as yoongi but his lip, sure you’ve complimented yoongi’s talent a lot but hearing you compliment namjoon made him feel a bit insecure and he walked back to where he was before and waited for you as you smiled and walked back to yoongi. namjoon followed and smiled “i have to get going, byeeee” he walked out as you smiled and said bye. yoongi took a deep breath “y/n, you still want to date me right? you don’t want to be with namjoon?” you looked at him. “of course i wanna be with you yoongi, i love you,” he nodded and shook the worries out of his head. “sorry, i was just a little self conscious after hearing you compliment him.” you shook your head. “don’t apologize babe, besides your my favorite when it comes to everything,” you grinned as he blushed softly 

➳hoseok-

he watched as you walked off with taehyung, he didn’t mind during the first couple weeks when you started dating, but slowly it’s bothered him more and more. he felt a little guilty for hating how much you went off with taehyung as he promised himself to never be that jealous boyfriend type. he tried to remind himself that before he stood up and follows you and taehyung. you looked over and smiled “hi hobi,” he smiled and sat next to you as taehyung looked at him. “sorry we didn’t invite you at first,” hoseok shrugged. “you aren’t doing anything right?” you shook you head as he nodded and smiled. as he sat there in between the two of you he could feel the guilt slowly build up. “i’m sorry,” he burst out in the dead silence as you and taehyung looked at him. “for what?” he took a deep breath. “i’m actually jealous every time y/n goes out with you or you both go to hang out by yourselves. i know it’s petty and dumb,” he shrugged as you shook your head. “your feelings are valid and i respect that you’re telling me them, i’ll make sure to split my time equally,” you nodded as he smiled softly. “thank you,”

➳namjoon- 

he watched you as you were on your phone and smiled at you. “who has you smilin’ like that cutie?” he giggled as you blushed softly and looked up at him. “jin,” he looked at you and raised an eyebrow. “why are you smiling like that then? jin isn’t that funny,” he smiled softly, and you looked at him in an almost awed state because of his passive aggressive statement. “i dunno, were friends, you might not think he’s funny but i do,” namjoon looked at you. “he’s that funny that you text him that much?” you looked at him and squinted, “what do you mean?” he looked at you in disbelief, “every time i ask who you’re texting it’s jin, you always have that smile and soft little blush on your face and laugh at whatever and guess what?  i’m a little jealous,” he shrugged and looked down as you stood up from your place on the couch and hugged him. “don’t be jealous babe, i’m sorry, i never knew,” he shrugged as you fixed his hair. “i’ll text him less, besides i rather spend more time with you,” he looked at you and shrugged. “you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” you shook your head. “nuh uh, i wanna make you happy babe,”  he smiled and kissed your temple. “i appreciate it a lot babe,”

➳jimin- 

jimin watched jungkook a bit ticked off, as you stood with jungkook. Jimin tried to not interfere as he sat with the other guys and a few unfamiliar people at the party you dragged him to. You said it would be fun and a good time with people from your college, but you never mentioned to jimin that they were also jungkook’s friends. jimin kept watching you and jungkook in the kitchen as he stood overly close to you, making jimin even more upset. He stood up, making his way to you until you started to walk over to him and he sat back down quickly. You looked at him “tired?” he nodded slightly as you kissed the top of his head and grinned. “let’s go home and cuddle then,” you giggled as he nodded and put down his drink and walked with you to the car. The car ride was silent, a little unusual but you figured he was just that tired. “you okay?” you looked over as jimin sighed, “i dunno, why don’t you go ask jungkook?” he got out of the car and you walked over quickly, realizing how pissed he was. “I’m sorry jimin, i didn’t mean to make you upset, i just wanted to hang with school friends. jimin nodded “i understand, i’m sorry i got jealous you just seemed more excited to see him then ever,” you nodded. “Im sorry again,”

➳ taehyung- 

taehyung sighed and pouted a little as he watched you work with yoongi and sighed as hoseok sat next to him. “what’s wrong?” tae looked over at hoseok and shrugged. “Y/n and yoongi get along so well with each other,” he huffed, “I don’t understand why they aren’t dating,” hoseok looked at tae and thought. “You should probably talk it out with them,” taehyung nodded and watched as you walked over and hoseok smiled and stood up, “that’s my queue to leave,” you smiled and sat next to taehyung as he looked at you. “I hate to admit it but i’m jealous,” you looked at him quickly, surprised at him mentioning his jealousy. “what are you jealous of?” he looked at you and fixed your hair. “just how well you and yoongi get along and how you interact with each other, you guys are so comfortable. I feel like you and him make a better couple than us and we really are a couple,” you nodded and fixed his hair. “a lot of people think we’re better together, but i understand what you mean about yoongi and i, you don’t have to worry though because he’s like a brother to me,” taehyung nodded. “I love you tae,” you smiled softly as he blushed a little. “I love you too, y/n”

➳jungkook-

he looked at you as you sat in between him and hoseok. he watched as hoseok kept showing you little things on his phone and pouted when he asked to see and hoseok and you would ignore him. it continued like this for almost a half hour until jungkook stood up and you watched. “you okay?” he nodded. “yeah i guess, i just need to get a water, want one?” you thought then nodded. “yes pleaseeee,” he smiled softly then walked to the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water and watched as you leaned into hoseok a little more. he but his lip and walked over quickly and smiled as he pushes hoseok off to the side and little and sat in between the two of you. “here’s your water baby,” he smiled and gave it to you as you looked at him a little confused. “...thank you?” he nodded and smiled. “anytime don’t worry,” he grinned as you nodded a little. hoseok looked at him. “why did you push me out of the way?” he raised an eyebrow as jungkook shrugged. “i dunno, i like being in between the two of you,” he smiled innocently as you bit your lip and looked at him. “you’re jealous, aren’t you?” he blushed. “why would you think that? is it because you and him were joking around and getting really close which made me scared? then no wayyy, i’m not jealous at allll” he said sarcastically as you pouted a little. “i’m sorry,” you hugged him as he held you. “it’s okay, i’m just a little insecure,” 

undertale day [long post]

it’s the 15th!! happy 4th birthday undertale!!! normally i try to do a little art or something but this year i decided to do something a little different. there’s a lot of content that’s become core tenets of my experience with the fandom -- changed the way i thought about the characters, how i engage with the fandom, opened my eyes to new ways of writing -- and i thought it’d be neat to compile some of those into one post to share with other people. so without further ado!!!

40-minute Deltarune Piano Medley - FaceImplosion [MUSIC]

ok, i know this is deltarune and not undertale, but this medley incorporates songs from both games so i’m gonna say it counts. and honestly, i could say a LOT about this piece!! i’ve watched and listened to a lot of ut/dr medleys, and this has to be the most lovingly crafted of its type that i’ve ever seen. Ever. a lot of care has been put into the order and combination of the songs (some funny, some sad, some mindblowing, ALL amazing) and the art is so good that every time i listen i find myself watching along. there’s a lot of easter eggs, especially for the attentive listener/watcher, and this medley deserves far more than the 6k views it’s gotten so far.

Undertale Album Project - Various Artists [MUSIC]

Songs From Mt Ebott is a collaborative album project that contains dozens of tracks from a score of different artists. i have a lot of favorite tracks from this album, not to mention the individual track art created for each, and if you’ve never heard of this project before, i really recommend giving it a listen! (FaceImplosion also did a piano track for this album, by the way, which i’m linking separately because it’s one of my aforementioned favorites.)

Chara - tigerblossom [MUSIC]

im not gonna lie. this was my favorite piece of fan music for a long time. it’s a medley mashing a few different songs together, short and sweet, but it comes together in such an incredibly heartfelt way at the end that whenever i end up listening to it i find myself wishing the track was about five minutes longer. they also have an underfell version of your best friend that i recommend giving a listen!

Photographs - FuriousPoplar [FIC]

in terms of “post-paci everyone lives au”s, there’s been a lot of ground covered by a lot of different people, and after a while the concept feels almost a bit...same-y? but this fic covers a sorely-needed conversation between an alive chara and asriel in a way that i’ve never seen approached by anyone else before. it’s cathartic, it’s extremely well written, and it doesn’t shy away from the ugly sides of trauma and recovery, which is so greatly appreciated. it also hit me...REALLY hard, which i think is a testament to how amazing this piece is.

Turn Back - foxsgloves [FIC]

i read this one pretty early on in my time in this fandom, and it’s continued to influence me long after. the premise: frisk keeps loading over the brief time asriel has his body in the epilogue, and simply spends time with him as they both prepare to move on towards the end. it’s sad. it’s cute. it’s amazing. it’s something i go back to reread sometimes late at night when i want to reread something friendly and familiar and a little sad. and its been one of my favorites ever since i read it.

You Wear Your Grief Like a Badge - Draikinator [FIC SERIES]

how do you even TALK about ywyglb? do i talk about nate’s impeccable voice in their writing? how true to character they are with the kids? how they set the scene of a post-pacifist world still shaking with the echoes of the past? the series starts with flowey taking frisk’s soul captive while chara and sans form an uneasy alliance in order to get them back, and then spirals into a tense, sweet, funny, awful, heartbreaking experience that reshaped how i viewed the boundaries of my own writing. draikinator’s writing has been and continues to be a huge inspiration to me, and i heartily recommend giving any of their stuff a try.

A Numbered List of Things That Aren't as Badass as They Sound (ex. Monsters, Suicide, Burning in Hell) - rosyy [FIC]

a brief glimpse into chara and asriel just before It Happens, While It Happens, When It Happens. the prose here is the sort of flowery delirious feverdream you’d expect from a kid dying of buttercup poisoning, and i love it to bits. i also want to mention a dr who crossover by the same author, because it has kris as the doctor and frisk as the stray they adopt, and its also the perfect antidote to the angst the first fic provides.

Risen Up (or, Of Fallen Children and Mountain Kin) - paradoxpangolin [FIC]

oh jeezums, how do i even start with this one? post-paci, frisk comes to the conclusion that the best way to ease the tensions between human and monsterkind is to put on a musical about their time in the underground!!!!.....except this leads to its own host of complications, and things get a bit Messy. this fic hasn’t updated in a bit, but it contains so much in its 140k of already published writing that i feel the need to urge you to read it anyway. i’m really partial to autistic frisks, and this fic has what’s got to be my favorite portrayal of that in ... probably the entire fandom? honestly, most (if not all) of the characters in this fic are autist, and it’s just. very good. i love.

you’re like a mirror, reflecting me - batterytriplicate [FIC]

a daemon au exploring what frisk and chara’s journeys might have been like with the extra distinction between monster dust and daemon dust. i completely forgot about this fic until i was trawling through my ao3 history for this post, and i’m really really glad i found it again. i think i was in the middle of trying to figure out this exact au when i first found this fic, and it did everything i was thinking of (and more) so much better that i felt more than content leaving it at that. so if you like his dark materials and want to see a fantastic little daemon au, give this a shot!

soulless-pacifist - vsemily [ASK BLOG]

soulless-pacifist..... if you’ve never heard of this askblog, you’re in for a treat. i wasn’t with it from the very beginning, but i started reading towards the  middle of its main story arc and stuck with it to the end, and suffice it to say, it has to be my favorite fandom askblog to date, purely for how well its written, how well its drawn, and how it’s one of the....only askblogs i’ve ever seen come not only to a FULL conclusion, but to a satisfying one! the mun also worked with a programmer to create a fangame for its final arc, which is so above and beyond that im still kind of in disbelief. in short: this askblog followed frisk and their passenger after the events of a soulless pacifist route, and continues on with them as they grow together and find their place with a whole host of twist and turns in store.                also, memes.

Shine your light with me, chase all the dark away - FancifulRivers [FIC]

this au follows frisk and chara after the events of the game. unlike most post-paci runs, though, chara has their own body back, while they and frisk are hiding back in mt ebott after the monsters have left to avoid the complications of being runaways and also.... incredible guilt and trauma. things don’t really work out like that, though, and i really recommend this read. fancifulrivers has also been an incredibly prolific writer who’s uploaded a lot of really good ut fics, so this is a great starting point to jump off of for their other stuff!

repercussions - proximally [FIC]

this fic... i think this one fic is the one that’s impacted me the most during my early days of this fandom. it’s short, and sad, and is a twist on the soulless pacifist ending that i was left thinking about literally for months after i first read it. instead of saying any more and risking spoiling it, i’ll just leave the author’s desc:  “You made a mistake, and you pay for it with your life. “

The Great Boondoggle - Masu_Trout [FIC]

the premise of this fic is pretty simple. post paci, frisk is walking home. they come across a Bad Guy. hijinks ensue. but what sets apart this fic from others for me is the way frisk is written here. when this fic was published in early 2016, most frisks i came across were the...sweet harmless woobies that were pretty typical from the fandom. this is one of the first frisks i came across that was kind of mean, and a little cold, and had very obviously had a long upward climb to being the sort of person who chose mercy instead of fight. this portrayal is a lot more common nowadays, which i’m super grateful for, but since this is one of the first fics i came across that really nailed this portrayal, i felt i should leave this here. i also recommend their pokemon/ut au, which is toriel and frisk centric and i also love to bits.

and....well, i was gonna say “that’s it”, but i honestly had to cut quite a few things from this list to keep it from stretching the dash too much. there’s been a lot of incredible content created by this fandom over the years, and this is by no means a comprehensive list of my favorites. but these are some of the ones that impacted me in a really special way, and if you were kind enough to check them out and maybe even liked them, please consider leaving a kind comment for the creator! if you’re the author of one of these pieces reading this right now: thank you so much! im looking forward to finding even more favorites in this year and the next.