#listen im sure this has been done before but it's so fucking funny
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inspired by this post by @villainanders
#dragon age#id in alt text#listen im sure this has been done before but it's so fucking funny#mine#fenris#isabela#merrill
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I had a cute idea I wanted to share because I love the way you write!! Leah has back to back interviews from home and reader is sat on the sofa just watching her, falling more and more in love with how passionate her girl is. Leah gets all blushy and a bit flustered by the gaze. Just a cute fluffy one x
lock down II l.williamson
"-and then i've got another over zoom with sky sports at three and i should be done for the day." your girlfriend sighed, already tired by her day before it had even begun.
"no rest for the wicked huh?" you hummed, still laid down in bed as the blonde restlessly paced back and forth across the room. "god then i've gotta fit in our gym program too! do you mind if we do it tonight? i know we're not supposed to but that at least gives me a few hours in between." leah groaned in realization.
"leah breath! of course i don't mind babe, its more enjoyable when we do the program together anyway. i'm more than sure we can push it back a few hours and it shouldn't affect the stats too much." you assured her gently as the blonde nodded.
"so much for lock down! everyone's watching bloody netflix and making tiktoks but noo im memorizing scripts and listening to the same witty one liner over and over about how hard it must be to 'work from home' as a footballer." leah mocked, falling backwards onto the bed with a huff.
"but is it?" you questioned as she sat up slightly and turned her head to be able to see you. "is it what?" leah asked with a confused frown. "is it hard to work from home as a footballer?" you questioned with a frown of your own.
one which quickly turned into a grin as your girlfriend lunged at you, ducking your head under the covers as her bony fingers poked and prodded at you, your safety blanket ripped away as the blonde hovered over you.
"you think you're so fucking funny." leah rolled her eyes as your grin grew. "well one of us has to have a sense of humor in this relationship baby, you're not called captain grumpy for nothing." you teased, tapping your lips expectantly.
"cheeky girl." leah tutted but none the less gave into your request, pressing her lips to yours as your hands moved to tangle in her hair, deepening the kiss as she settled on top of you.
but no sooner did the taller girl slip her tongue into your mouth, hands gliding slowly up your bare stomach, did her alarm go off.
"why!" leah pulled away and groaned moodily, flopping down and burying her face in your neck making you chuckle and gently scratch your nails against her scalp as you tapped snooze.
"babe this isn't making me anymore inclined to get up." your girlfriend mumbled against your skin making you smile. "what if i promise to make breakfast and have it ready for when your first interviews done?" you whispered into her hair, squirming as the girl sighed.
"might be working a little." leah admitted making you laugh and press a kiss to her cheek. "mm and what if i make your favorite breakfast?" you hummed, still rhythmically scratching at her scalp.
"the williamson special?" she questioned, the words muffled into your neck but you laughed again. "the williamson special. an omelette with ham, cheese and not a single spec of colour, flavour or vegetables." you teased, squealing as she pinched your hip but pulled her head up.
"you promised not to mock my eating habits." the older girl frowned with a pout that you quickly kissed away. "no i promised not to mock them last week, todays monday. brand new day of opportunity!" you grinned, pushing her hands away where they tickled at the sliver of skin where your shirt had rode up.
"first my speech impediment and now my diet. you really are a wicked awful woman!" leah sighed with a shake of her head as you scoffed.
"my love we've been over this. you don't have a speech impediment, you're just from milton keynes." you whispered against her lips, pulling away right before they could press against hers, pushing her off of you and moving to stand with a stretch.
"now my beloved MK, you're going the right way for the silent treatment missy." leah pointed at you with a glare as you oohed sarcastically. "tempting. is that a promise?" you winked, laughing as she lurched forward and grabbed the back of your top tugging you back down into bed.
"you are very lucky you're cute." your girlfriend tutted from above you, shaking her head. "and you're very lucky i'm so patient." you poked at her nose with an amused smile as leah gasped in mock offence, your girlfriend nothing if not the expert at annoying you.
"you wait for the third one and you won't have time to shower lee." you warned, pushing her fringe out of her face with a soft smile as she leaned over you to tap stop on the second alarm on her phone and looked down at you with a cheeky grin.
"in that case, wanna save some water?"
~
you were trying to concentrate on your own laptop, you really were.
in the spirit of having nothing better to do locked away in your home you'd signed up for an online accounting course, with leah already studying a much higher qualification in the same field she'd been a massive help.
but why would you waste your time looking at tax brackets and finance breakdowns when you could stare at your incredibly fit gorgeous girlfriend who was sat only a few metres away in your direct eyeline.
you smiled at how she threw and flailed her hands about as she spoke, always one to speak expressively and passionately as she was recounting a story from her childhood when she'd played on a boys team and was relentlessly pushed about for being 'just too good'.
it was one of the first things that had you falling deeply for the older girl, how passionate she was. not just about football but with anything she put her mind and heart to, including how fiercely she loved.
not just how she loved you, but how she loved her family, loved football, loved her friends, the girl could be a handful and a stubborn headache at times but nobody could deny that she was also one of the most sincere and loving human beings you'd ever met.
so with that in mind you sighed quietly, a dopey smile on your face as you pined over her like a lovesick puppy, something the pair of you were often teased about by your team mates but it just washed over you like water off a ducks back, both of you far too loved up in your little bubble to pay it any mind.
in fact without leah you were certain you'd have long lost your mind amid this pandemic, the blonde finding little ways every day to make you still feel so special or to have you smile or laugh, two things which rapidly became her favorite reward.
just yesterday she'd woken you up with breakfast in bed and a bunch of flowers just because.
granted she did order the breakfast from a local cafe which was still operating for delivery and you couldn't prove it but you were near certain that she'd stolen the flowers from some of your neighbors front yards on her morning walk.
regardless you were touched by the thoughtful gesture and showered her with sweet kisses as a thank you, even if leah did eat nearly all of your breakfast much to your amusement given it was hardly up to her usual bland unseasoned standards.
you leaned back a little more into the sofa and crossed your legs underneath you, balancing your laptop on a cushion on your lap, a soft smile plastered permanently into your features.
once or twice leah caught your eyes staring over the top of her own laptop, sending you a small grin or a subtle wink before her attention returned back to the interviewer.
you heard him say that the next game would be a drawing one, sliding your laptop away and hurrying to grab a notebook and pen, placing them beside leah who mouthed her thanks as you took a seat across from her at the dining table.
leah gave you a questioning look as you did so but you merely shrugged, gesturing for her to pay attention as she tuned back into the interview. you watched as she was told to draw her wembley stadium, competing against the interviewer.
you smiled as you took her in, the way her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, nostrils flaring in annoyance every now and then as she was unhappy with a stroke of her pen, a small puff of air exhaled from the corner of her mouth as the tip of her tongue pushed out the other side.
you took a photo of her and smiled, placing your phone back down and resting your chin on your hand. leah could feel your stare on her and as she revealed her drawing and you grinned as the tips of her ears and cheeks flushed red.
"stop!" she mouthed at you as you shook your head, still staring at her in admiration as her attention switched back to the interview. finally after what felt like hours of your gaze pinned to her leah was able to wrap it up, saying her goodbyes and clicking end call on the zoom, pushing her laptop closed.
"what?" you smiled innocently as the blonde sat back in her chair and shook her head at you. "you have a staring problem!" she accused with a point as you gasped and held a hand to your chest.
"i do not. i wasn't staring, i was admiring!" you clarified as leah hummed, her chair pushing back with a scrape. "cheeky." leah clicked her tongue as you followed after her to the kitchen, kissing her still slightly pink cheek with a smile as she grabbed a juice out from the fridge.
"leah!" you scoffed as you held your hand out for it to take a mouthful and she slapped her palm against yours with a wink.
last one, sorry babe." the blonde smirked as your mouth formed a small o. "those are mine!" you protested, rushing around the counter and trying to snatch it off her as she pushed you away effortlessly with one hand and downed the juice with the other.
"you are so unbel-" you started to tell her off as she exhaled happily and tossed the empty bottle into the recyling bin with a happy whoop as it landed. "no no wait, let me guess." her finger smushed against your lips silencing you as she stroked her chin as if deep in thought.
"unbelievably sexy?" silence.
"no? okay. unbelievably charming?" silence again.
"wrong again? mmm unbelievably intelligent?" more silence.
"wow thought i had it there. unbelievably-" you wrenched her hand away at that and shook your head.
"unbelievably infuriating!" you rolled your eyes as leah smacked her forehead with a scoff. "that was my next guess!" she tutted with a shake of her head as you sighed, a small smile tugging at the corner of your mouth.
"hey hey don't get all stroppy. there's still three more in there i was only teasing." leah grabbed your waist and pulled your shorter form into her, a noise of surprise leaving your mouth as her hands hooked under your thighs and she hoisted you up to sit on the counter as she settled between your legs.
"how about the williamson special right now?" leah smiled, thumb tracing your bottom lip as you gave her a look of slight confusion. "you want another omelette?" you questioned as your girlfriend shook her head.
"no no baby girl, the real williamson special." leah rasped, hands toying with the waistband of your sweats as you caught onto what she was suggesting.
"mmm and whats that? my memory needs a jog." you hummed, a smile settling onto your own face as the girl leaned in, minty breath fanning your face as her lips were millimeters from yours.
"mind blowingly passionate sex with a guaranteed happy ending, and then-" your eyes fluttered closed as she moved to kiss at your neck, lips trailing from your jaw down to the column of your throat, biting softly before she moved to tug at the lobe of your ear.
"-then we eat potato smileys in bed naked and watch the golf." leah exhaled as you moaned playfully.
"god i love it when you talk dirty to me."
#woso#woso community#woso x reader#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso blurbs#engwnt#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson#leah williamson imagine
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AHHH JUST GOT ANOTHER REQUEST! silas with a crackhead gen z s/o.This guy would be so fking confused.😭😭
Silas:walk out of that front door and I'll break your legs👿👿.
s/o:*uses the open window besides the door instead and casually walks away*
Silas texting:WHY ARE YOU NOT HOME YOUR GONNA GO THROUGH HELL IF YOU DON'T COME BACK.
S/o: You're* dumbass and proceeds to ignore the calls from this dumb af guy.
first anon (im sorry but i thought this was funny 😭😭)
[Do you want to break him??? Congrats, you succeeded 😭]
Not a joking matter
Mafia!yandere OC x reader
Summary: you decide to pull a stunt on Silas while you are fighting, which causes him to go insane with fury. He promises himself to make sure you never dare to do it again.
Warnings: yandere content, mentions of killing, guns, threats, isolation punishment, Stockholm syndrome, Silas who can't take a joke, manipulation
Word count: 1.5k
Normally, you wouldn’t dare fight with Silas. It only gave you consequences you couldn’t bear. Besides, just giving in and listening to him makes your world turn easier. But some days, things get too much and your anger bubbles out. This has led you and Silas to argue down by the front door about his jealousy.
“I’m literally done!” you scoff out. “You’re insane, this is insane! I’m leaving!”
“If you walk out through that door, I’m breaking your legs”, Silas warns you with his arms over his chest. “Don’t test me, little thing.”
You give him a long stare before opening the window next to the door and jumping out. Silas gaze darkens as he watches you walk away. How dare you?
“What are you doing, boss?” one of his men asks with a shaking voice. “Are you just going to let them leave?!”
“They will be back soon”, Silas says through gritted teeth. “They can’t survive without me. And when they return, they’ll go back into the basement until they apologize sincerely.”
“And if they don’t come back, boss?”
“Then they’ll regret it.”
You walk along the road, cursing Silas for living out in the middle of the fucking forest. You’re not even wearing shoes! Why did you walk out like that? Well, at least you’re free. Right? This has to be worth it. You have to show Silas that you mean business … he can't treat you like that.
You reach the nearest city after an hour of walking. You're sure you've destroyed one skinlevel by now. No blood has been drawn yet, but your skin is ripped and dirty. You sink down by the side of the road, next to a coffee shop. Now what? You don't have any money … only your cell phone. Silas IT master has blocked the phone from calling any other number than Silas.
It buzzes. You look down and see a message from him.
"WHY ARE YOU NOT HOME?? YOUR GOING TO GO THROUGH HELL IF YOU DON'T COME BACK, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?"
You shouldn't do it — it's childish — yet you do it. Your fingers tremble as you type the message back, but you can't help but snicker for yourself.
"You're*"
If only you could see his face once he receives the message. Silas, on the other hand, throws his phone at the wall once he gets your little fun text. He calls you, but you don't answer. He calls again … and again … and again. Same automatic voice telling him to try again later.
"This little shit, I swear to God-" he growls before grabbing his car keys. "I'm going to get them, I don't fucking care. They'll be sorry. Who the fuck do they think they are? Seriously? Fucking brat.”
“What are you going to do, boss?” the same man as before asks.
“If Y/N wants to act like a shitty, little brat, then I’ll treat them like one.”
He rips open the door and walks out to his black sports car. You might be his darling, but this car is his baby. Although he doesn’t know where you are, he has an idea. There's not a lot of places you could have gone to. You're not stupid enough to run into the forest, you'll have followed the road. You can't have gotten too far. He'll find you.
He notices that you're not on the road.
"These little legs were faster than I thought", he mumbles. "Just wait til I get my hands on you."
He drives into the small city, looking around. A smirk creeps up on his face once he sees you sitting on the sidewalk. He parks the car right in front of you and jumps out. His anger turns into some weird adrenaline kick once he sees your terrified eyes. He will punish you, don't you worry … but first he wants to play.
"Either you get in the car now or I'll make you", he says with one hand resting inside of his jacket, on his gun. "I'll blow this place up."
You know Silas, and you know what he keeps in his pocket. You know he's not lying. Suddenly, incapable of moving, paralyzed in fear, you shake your head desperately. Silas smiles.
"Boom", he says, forming his mouth to an 'O'.
"No, please", you whisper.
"Yes? If you say so …"
He's about to pull put the gun. You finally manage to move your limbs and shoot up from the sidewalk, stopping his hand.
"Silas, don't", you beg.
"But you wanted to be bratty and not do what I said", he pouts and gives you puppy dog eyes. "It's not more than fair that I get to play too?"
"Silas, people will get hurt if you do that."
"People could have gotten hurt by your stunt too. If I wouldn't have found you …" He moves closer until you can feel his breath against your face. "... I'd killed all of my men."
You shiver and give him a horrified glance.
"Y/N, get in the car now", Silas tells you seriously, no longer in the mood to play games.
And you do.
"Y/N, I want you to know something", Silas says as he starts driving away. "You only 'escaped' today because I let you. The only reason you're still alive is because I went to get you. You should be happy that I love you because what would you have done without me? You have no money, your phone — which you should be grateful I gave you — only works for my number … you aren't even wearing shoes!"
Your head slumps. You shouldn't feel so guilty, you shouldn't start to cry … but you do.
"I could have left you", Silas continues. He won't stop until you've broken down completely. "I could have forgotten about you and moved on, find somebody that actually appreciates what I do for them and is grateful for my love. But I went back for you because I love you."
He has noticed that you've started crying in the seat next to him, but he isn't done.
"People could have died today and it'd be all your fault", Silas says.
"Stop!" you shout and cover your ears with your hands. "I get it! I'm sorry!"
"I'm not sure you do, baby. That's why you'll spend a little while down in the basement once we get home. Just to make sure this won't happen again."
You want to protest, but his gaze makes you shrink to the size of an ant. Yu're already six feet down, no need to do yourself any further.
When you get back to his house, he pulls you with him down to the basement and chains you before saying a word.
"Silas, I'm really sorry", you sob. "I'll never do it again. Please don't leave me here.'
"You've acted like a complete brat, baby. My partner is an adult, not a damn child, do you get that?"
"Yes!"
"Good. I will see you in a while."
"No, Silas, please!" you shout. "Don't leave me here!"
You hear the door to the ground floor, leaving you in pitch black darkness. You sob out into the emptiness and hug your legs, burying your face into your knees.
You don't know how much time passes by. You have no idea how long time you've been down here, all you know is that your growling stomach stopped making sounds a long time ago. It doesn't hurt anymore … although it should. Your body must have gone numb because you can't feel anything. Or you've died. That's at least what you tell yourself. You no longer live and will never feel anything else ever again. This basement works wonders on the brain.
The door from the ground floor creaks. You look up, seeing how Silas come walking down. Your body fills with electricity. He came back!
"Hey, baby", he says and squats down in front of you.
"Silas …", you say quietly, tasting the name, seeing if he can hear you. Seeing if you're alive.
"Yes?"
A wave of relief flows through you. Your hands start reaching out for him, needing to hold onto something to fully convince you that you're still real.
"Careful, baby", Silas says softly and stops your hands. "I have to remove the chains first."
Impatiently, you wait for him to unlock the heavy metal keeping you to the ground. As soon as you feel the weight lifting, you throw yourself at him, locking your arms around his neck and hiding your face into his warm shoulder. He chuckles and wraps his strong arms around you in return.
"Eager to see me?" he smiles right by your ear.
You don't answer. You're happy to see someone. It just happens that this someone is Silas.
"Do you want to come upstairs now?" he asks.
You nod against his shoulder.
"You're not going to be a bratty little shit anymore?" he asks.
You shake your head.
"And you won't pull a childish stunt?" he asks.
You shake your head. Your humor doesn't work on him and you learned that the hard way.
"Very well then, let's go", Silas says and stands up, pulling you up with him.
You wrap your legs around his torso and keep your arms in place. You can hear him purr like a cat. Silas always gets what he wants. He always wins.
#yandere#yandere drabbles#yandere imagines#yandere x you#yandere fics#yandere stories#yandere x reader#yandere mafia#yandere oneshots#silas oc#first anon <3#yandere au
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ugh this girl shes so cute like… im actually so down BAD its not even funny
Hi my loves🫶🏼 this was supposed to be longer n come quicker but i forgot to save my draft n i was so fucking done UGHHHH.. I just wanted to put something out for you guys as a thank you for all the support my last post got❤️❤️❤️ I never thought id be postin on here but 😛
anyway, tall! bodyguard! fem reader x wonyoung has been taking over my mind lately yall dont even understand 😭🙏 (this isnt proofread cuz im so done, so sorry my loves if theres something wrong😔)
lets say ur a bit older than Yujin (like by a couple months) n ur first official job as a bodyguard is to make sure Ive makes it to a pop up event safely😝 Starship hired so many of u guys because sasaengs have been appearing more frequently than before. So here comes you and like nearly 3 dozen more guards though you stand out due to how tall u r😍😍😍(like taller than 6’4 cuz babygirl wony is already tall asf😔🙏) n your build (muscular women r so fine UGHHHH)
You and the rest of the squad were walking to the girls big ass dressing room, though you felt many eyes on you. Its something you’re used to, always being the tallest in the room (cant relate😭) Arriving at the dressing room door gets you a bit nervous since you know how big ive is as a group and how stunning they are😍😍😍 Once you guys were given the green light to enter, you need to lean down to fit through the door. seeing this, one of your colleagues snickers, making you roll your eyes.
Ive’s manager introduces you and the rest of your crew to the members, short n sweet. As their manager was just giving a brief run down abt whats gonna happen once you guys arrive, Wonyoung notices you. You were much taller than her and stronger too from what she can see😍 baby girl would be so shocked since most girls shes met have never been taller than her🥺 She was so focused on you that she didnt notice how one of her members eyes were also glued to you😛
ur bitch ass was zoning the fuck out but still kinda listening to the manager but you noticed how drop dead gorgeous the members were (same) though you were always drawn to the tallest member. Her beauty had you practically fawning over her that you didnt even notice the rest of the squad (ayeee pull up wit da gang😝😝😝😝 im so sorry) left to go to the vans you all arrived in😭 Flustered at this, you jog to the door to catch up, hitting your head on the doorframe in the process 🥺🥺🥺 You hear giggles after, but failing to notice how Wonyoung’s eyes were full with concern. Whimpering at the slight sting, you hold your head while still trying to catch up with the rest.🥺🥺🥺
Wonyoung watches as you disappear into the distance, pouting as she hears her members talk about how cute you were🙏 she starts paying attention after hearing yujin ask if they was a chance you were single😭 “Maybe, but not after im done talking with her..” Gaeul says proudly, though its short lived as Wonyoung hears Rei respond “Unnie, she’d have to go her her knees to kiss yo-“YAH!” The room fills with laughter as the eldest sulks in her spot, mumbling how unfair life is. Wonyoung’s mind goes back to you, not wanting to hear her members talk about how they want to get to know you more😜
timeskip to the event cuz im SICK AND TIRED OF THIS APP.
You and the other bodyguards line up behind each side of the rope safety barriers (is that what its called…) You were near entrance of the building and could already seen waves of people try to get a glimpse of the idols that were soon to arrive
As the van pulls up you can hear the crowd getting louder by the second. They only get louder as the girls start to come out, first with Yujin, then Gaeul, Rei, Wonyoung, Liz, and lastly Leeseo. Camera flashes and screams fill the air as the girls walk to the entrance of the building. They do their best to get there in a short amount of time while also interacting with fans
It was going smoothly, with the three eldest already at the door, waiting for the other members. Wonyoung was just a couple steps away from them before a man grips her wrist and pulls her closer to him. She tries to fight back but he is much stronger, tightening his already harsh grip. You act quickly, making the man let go and shoving him as hard as you can. He has a pissed off look on his face but it soon turns to fear as he sees you towering over him. The man nearly shits his pants after you bend your knees to be at eye level with him, hearing you call him the harshest words that come to mind.
After that, you let another bodyguard deal with the man as you turn your body to face the shaking girl. (babygirl was a bit scared cuz u seemed so pissed🥺🥺🥺) Your eyes soften at her state, shes frozen in her spot with widen eyes. Wonyoung focuses on you as you lean down to quietly talk to her. Her eyes are pretty is the first thing that comes to Wonyoung’s mind. She gazes upon your features for what feels like years, her admiration soon turning into attraction for you as she holds her now red wrist. You notice this, cursing the man in your head as you take a closer look at her wrist. holy fuck that shit is red, you meet her eyes once more, taking note on how hers seem to shine in the sunlight. “Are you feeling alright, Miss Jang?” you say in a sweet, soft tone. Wonyoung feels her heart start to race at how soft you are with her, a big contrast to how you acted to the man (duh)
“Oh-Yes! I’m okay, just a bit shaken up..” Wonyoung didnt respond right away since your warm aura made her start to relax. You nod, “Do you want me to escort you to the door?” She starts to nod, but is interrupted by her members rushing to her side asking her if shes okay. You step back, giving them their time but also waiting for her answer. After Wonyoung reassures them that shes fine she turn to you, nodding to your question from before. You failed to notice how her cheeks flushed a light pink as you walked behind her to the door🥺🥺🥺
time skip cuz its literally 1:30 am rn….
You didnt just walk her to the door but instead everywhere. You would only leave her side if she needed to take photos or use the restroom (though you were right outside the door just in case) You were following her around like a velcro puppy (clingy dog) 🥺🥺 Wonyoung thought you were so cuteee😭 she thought you were like a newfoundland puppy cuz ur so big UGH🥺 She watched as your eyes practically sparkled whenever you say something you liked or if someone brought up a topic you were interested in❤️❤️❤️ Babygirl was falling for you so hard rn
As the event was coming to an end, she wanted to go to the restroom before they left (it was an excuse to get you alone with her🫶🏼) She stopped right in front of the ladies door, making you confused. Wonyoung turns to you, leans toward you while slipping a piece of paper in your hand. She ran away shortly after to go to the rest of her members. It all happened so fast you were slow to comprehend what just happened. Reliving the moment for a few seconds you realizing she had kissed you on the cheek.
You place your empty hand over the cheek, now adored with a lipstick mark, as you smile like a dumbass😭 you hear your name being called to leave as well but before going over there, you read the note.
“Yn, I just wanted to thank you for making me feel safe and for getting to know me. I hope we meet again, as friends or maybe more?
XXX-XXX-XXXX
-Wonyoung <3”
You nearly fainted reading that last part.
OH MY GOD THIS TOOK SO LONG💀
guys if u ever write on this app MAKE SURE YOU SAVE PLEASE…. (my asks r open if u want this to be continued or if u wanna request something❤️)
kk love you guys🫶🏼 be safe, and have a good day❤️
#wonyoung date me#ive wonyoung#jang wonyoung#jang wonyoung x reader#wonyoung x reader#stan ive#ive x reader#izone#I MISS IZONE#izone x reader#wlw#fluff#my bbygirl#vicky thoughts
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Okay finished relistening to episode 1 (will listen to episode 2 and maybe more tomorrow but its like 10 pm and i have school tomorrow) of bitb and heres just like small collection of things that stuck to my mind!
Rolan does in fact canonically have a car i forgot about that so sorry rolan in my fic you got to live but lost your ability to drive such is life
Kian’s first act being just drinking something…. Like he wakes up and immediately gets alcohol… grizzly honestly just does such an incredibly amazing job making kian seem so like depressing but hiding it so well behind making everything seem like just some funny rockstar stuff its amazing
Also! The super tired ‘hey’ before he remembers and switches to ‘i mean whats up dude’??? Like could that have been a genuine mistake by grizz, sure, but i highly fucking doubt that. Like grizzly is so incredible at voice acting i refuse to believe that wasnt intentional
Rand. Just. How fucking mad he is at rolan. Its just painful. And how clearly done with it rolan is like you know this is an argument theyve had like hundreds of times before
So so so many details about kian that are so fucking fun to think about, specifically when he describes the look officer dudes gave him? Like (cant remember the exact quote but you get it) ‘ive seen some bad people in hollywood, people who just smile at you a certain way and you know you wouldnt want to meet them at night because they want to kill you’???? I am using that against him so hard holy shit
They just. Know nothing about how time works. They keep saying that its been a decade (it hasnt its been 15 years) and barc is supposedly old enough to have met them but no he is absolutely not and also charlie described barc as a golden retriever but then who the fuck is the black dog in rands official art just. Wow theyre so inconsistent about everything.
Theres definitely a few details about kian that i had forgotten about (like him just saying he has plenty more cars at home and whatever) but the pros of that is. I dont even need to decide to just ignore canon because i can just fucking believe that hes lying! Like its kian we cant trust his word on anything and thats great for me because i dont need to worry about messing up the canon!
Trying to just keep track of their stats and such but its. Its so hard. Because most of the time they just say ‘thats a success/hard success/failure/etc’ and not even what they actually rolled and then when they say what they rolled they still usually dont say what the number they had to beat was so just like.
Kian has 30 strength and 75 in guitar and 11 hp and that is all i can actually remember
Rand has 45 strength and 30 sanity (for like the first half hour) and ive already forgotten everything else
And rolan. Im going to be real i remember nothing already. I think he has 8 speed? But that was in the solo ep so i cant be sure. Also either him or rand had 14 hp i have already forgotten which one
Rat’s death is so hard to think about but its also very hard for me because im just thinking of kian going through the same fucking thing. Like hes aware of it and hes in pain and he just hears a buzzing and. Augh. (And kian probably died alone. God knows becky wasnt comforting him through that)
…..kian going fucking four times over the speed limit getting to galloway but then specifically not speeding with the others until theyre trying to leave after seeing rats whole thing? You cannot convince me that thats not like him being passively suicidal and just not caring about his own safety unless other peoples lives depend on it as well
Also, quick pat on the back for myself, i feel like i did very well with especially rand and rolan’s dynamic. Like just the intense care and love they have for each other but its been overshadowed by years spent apart and basically the second theyre left alone they immediately get into an argument and instantly start going right for all the things that hurt the most? Jesus they need therapy
Also kian (yes of course im focusing on him again thats my guy) just cares for them so much?? Like him immediately going after rolan and trying to help him without even knowing whats going on, also as fucking stupid as it is grizzlys plan being literally ‘im going to flirt with donna so john walks in on us and chases me with a shotgun to give a distraction for rand’ its like. So ridiculous. Yet somehow also very caring that this idiot is really willing to risk getting shot at to help rand out a bit
#jrwi show#jrwi#just roll with it#jrwi bitb#jrwi blood in the bayou#blood in the bayou#jrwi spoilers#jrwi bitb spoilers#bitb spoilers#blood in the bayou spoilers
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What do you think of the SPM villains as a whole? I'm going to make a wild guess and assume your favourite is Dimentio based off only my obvious mind reading intellect-
Please go into as much detail as your heart desires. I love this game a lot and hearing about it makes me very happy. It's my special interest, and I am deprived of obsessive rants over this game that aren't my own.
I hate dimentio fym. Let’s kill him.
LMAOAOAOAOAO but real talk: ANOTHER PERSON WITH AN SPM SPECIAL INTEREST?;?? WOOHOO!!!!! HIP! HIP! HOORAY!! we are now Blood Brothers
I apologize if I’m misinterpreting and you have already seen the post, but I have answered an ask before that is what you’re looking for- here it is! :3 I went into hefty detail on each member of Team Bleck. Trust me, it’s very long LMAOAO
HOWEVER… if you are not talking about just Team Bleck and are referring to the other villains as well- then…
Fracktail/Wracktail:
Fracktail has always. Stuck with me. First of all, his theme goes HARD????? Good lord, go ACTUALLY listen to it if you haven’t. It’s the equivalent of this
Anyways, Fracktail has always made me feel sad. And when I was younger, he scared me. It scared me that he died for something that wasn’t even his fault. Like dude usually when characters get brainwashed and they eventually regain control, they get a happy ending and stuff. Fracktail BLEW UP??? I personally just can’t stand it when characters reap something they never sowed- and this applies to characters as minuscule as Fracktail.
Now. Wracktail. He is. Interesting.
Both Fracktail and Wracktail are incredible examples of how INSANELY POWERFUL Ancient magic is, but Wracktail is a bit different. Wracktail refers to himself as a god multiple times. Is this actually true, or is he “making it up” or exaggerating? Were the Ancients capable of CREATING DEITIES? Were Grambi and Jaydes former Ancients who turned themselves into gods? Are the Pixls classified as gods? After all, both the Pixls and Wracktail are immortal unless harmed, and they were both created by the ancients. But if you can die from an injury, are you really a god? Or, like I stated before, is Wracktail not actually a god?Something else interesting is that Wracktail seems to be aware of Shadoo’s existence. HOW? Does Wracktail posses some kind of omnipotence? Did Shadoo reveal herself to Wracktail out of pity because they were both created and ruined by the Ancients? HOW. WHAT. WHY. Ugh I could go on FOREVER. It’s not that deep, sure, but it’s fun to ponder.
Bonechill:
Bonechill. Was. Wasted.
One of the MOST intriguing parts about Super Paper Mario is- and I’ve talked about this a lot- the extremely bold references to Christianity. Bonechill is a carbon fucking copy of Satan, and he was BOOOOOOOORRRINGG
WHY . WHY DID THEY WASTE THIS CHARACTER. WHY CAN YOU BEAT HIM SO FAST IT CAN BE TURNED INTO A GIF. HOW DOES HE KNOW ABOUT LUVBI BEING A PURE HEART?? Oh yeah, I know, BECAUSE HE WAS A FALLEN ANGEL, AND CLEARLY HE HAD TO HAVE BEEN EXTREMELY CLOSE WITH AND TRUSTED BY GRAMBI TO BE AWARE OF LUVBI’S ORIGINS. HELL, EVEN IF BONECHILL SPIED ON A CONVERSATION OR SOMETHING, HE STILL HAD TO HAVE BEEN VERY CLOSE WITH GRAMBI TO BE CAPABLE OF DOING THAT. IS THAT WHY HE WAS CASTED OUT OF HEAVEN? BECAUSE HE BETRAYED GRAMBI? YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SHOULDVE DONE? THEY SHOULDVE HAD A SCENE BETWEEN GRAMBI AND BONECHILL ABOUT THIS. BUT NOOOOOOOOOO MY NAME IS BONECHILL IM EVIL MWHAHAHAAH OHH IM DEAD DAMN NVM! FUCK.
But on a funnier note this part in KoopaKungFu’s let’s play always made me laugh as a kid
But What do you mean Bonechill was just. Standing there. I know nobody commented on it because this is a video game (it’s funny regardless LMAO). BUT WERE GRAMBI AND BONECHILL TALKING (I say talking, but this doesn’t mean they were calm about it) ABOUT THEIR PAST? OR DID THEY FIGHT BECAUSE GRAMBI IS INJURED. DID THEY DO BOTH? WHY. WAS . THE FACT. BONECHILL. KNOWS. ABOUT. LUVBI. AND. THAT. HE. WAS. A . FALLEN. ANGEL. NEVER. TALKED. ABOUT. MY BLOOD. PRESSURE. IS. RISING.
Blumiere’s Father:
I wish I could say a lot more about him, but surprisingly I’ve never gotten around to making headcanons for him/Blumiere. It’s crazy because you know that in his head he believes he is doing the right thing for his son and for the Tribe of Darkness as a whole. What kind of indoctrination did he have to go through to believe that KILLING somebody simply because she and his son loved one another was a rational and reasonable course of action. God I wish we knew at least a LITTLE more about him- but the minuscule amount of scenes he has makes his impact on the story that much more harrowing.
King Croacus:
I fw King Croacus heavy. My favorite drag queen of all time. God he’s so cool.
As somebody who is lore obsessed, I ADORE the fact we got so many details on the rulers of the Floro Sapiens. It’s something the developers did not have to do yet they did it anyways. Every time I walk through that hall in the game I read every single plaque.
It’s also? Really disturbing how we KILLED this guy? I know he comes back post-game but like regardless we did kill a guy who’s mind was deteriorating because of polluted water. Like that shit wasn’t his fault. He died for the faults of the Cragnons, who basically got off scot-free (unless you killed some of the brainwashed individuals). It’s an interesting metaphor for a variety of things that occur in reality.
Also, his theme is REALLY underrated. I know it’s simple, but I love it so much. King Croacus fans ASSEMBLE!
Francis:
When you’re trying to save all worlds but this fuckass Redditor downvotes you
Francis was one of the most genius parts of this game. Holy shit. I don’t even know what to say. He was so ahead of his time it’s actually scary. That whole chapter is one of the funnest parts of the game. All the niche references, the poking fun at Francis-like people, god it’s PEAK.
Something that’s interesting is that his Castle is implied to be where the Tribe of Darkness lived. Which is fucking hilarious. I personally prefer the idea that Castle Bleck was the old TOD home but that’s literally wrong. Carson said the TOD lives in a castle in the woods. Where do we see a castle in the woods. Uh huh. (I can get even more insane- the podium where Tippi’s cage was held. The podium that for some reason has a mechanism to hide it deep in the ground. Hmmm. A book can fit there. Can’t it. HMMMM) (I’m scraping the bottom of the barrel man somebody save me).
Also. Wokackness aside. Francis is terrifyingly smart. He created a PIXL. That’s something that I feel like is incredibly overlooked. How did he do that. How. ? HUH. ????????
Pixl Queen/Shadoo:
well you see uh
(no but seriously. I don’t even know where to begin. She’s one of my favorite characters in the game and we never ever get to see her. She’s heartbreaking. She’s devastating. She’s terrifying. She has nobody looking out for her. She is alone. But she fights so hard to be seen. She starts a war. She tries to kill every walking Ancient and the heroes of the Light Prognosticus. She screams and she cries and she begs and she pleas but nobody can hear her nor is listening. She is punished for being loved. She is punished for her wrath. She is still here in the form of shadows in the cracks on the Trial walls but is that even her anymore? She did not deserve to die so young, but that death was infinitely more merciful than all that occurred after. She was born to die. It’s why she is still alive.)
Big Blooper:
blooooop lmao
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Carra fucking off to skiing and David and Gary are immediately going all ♥ ♥ ♥ come get your man back James
So for a prompt if you still do them: Everyone is sick and tired of carraville dancing around each other but being cowards to actually do anything about it, so to get things moving Becks starts dropping hints that he might make a move on Gary.
(next time they meet gary's neck is full of hickeys and carra is very smug. they are even more insufferable than before. roy is rolling his eyes so hard he is able to see his own brain)
LOVE the idea of becks also being in on a plot to get them together. and of everyone asking becks to do it for them bc they don't want to/are too scared/lazy/dumb to do it themselves
---
“David,” says Scholesy.
“Scholesy,” says David.
“David, he’s driving me insane. I seriously cannot take it anymore.”
David doesn’t bother asking who ‘he’ is, or what he’s driving Scholesy insane about, because it’d be the same answer as it’s been for the past god knows how many years.
“I’m sure the two of them will figure it out eventually,” he offers sympathetically, to which Scholesy just groans in frustration.
“I’ll be long dead before that ‘appens.”
*
“Becks, I swear, they’re getting worse by the day.”
He and Keaney are sat with Wrighty at a little table in the media lounge at Wembley, watching Gary joke around with Carragher a few feet away. The two of them seem to be in their own little bubble, completely oblivious to the others around them. Their constant laughter is loud and annoying, especially since as far as David can tell neither of them is actually saying anything that funny.
It's kind of sweet, really.
“I think it’s sweet,” Wrighty says. “Don’t you remember how intense they both were as players? This is a massive improvement.”
“Yeah, but it’s driving me nuts! I mean, this is one thing, but it’s all the stupid little sighs and the – the longing looks, it’s enough to make you lose the will to live.”
In the past few months, David has had to listen to complaints about Gary and Carragher from every single one of his old friends from United, as well as some old England teammates that have worked with them at Sky or on The Overlap. They all seem to be under the impression that something needs to be done about it, that they can’t just let it run its natural course.
They also all seem to be in agreement that the person who needs to be doing something about it is David.
He wonders absently if it’s not too late to hand the ‘Gaz’s best friend’ card off to somebody else.
*
“So, Carragher.”
“What about him?”
Gary blinks at David from across the table, and if David didn’t know him so well he’d think he was being deliberately obtuse. Unfortunately, David does know him, well enough to know that he really is just that stupid.
He shoots him a Look, which has the desired effect of making Gary scowl at him, and then he says “nothin’, nothin’. Just noticed you two’ve been working together a lot lately.”
Gary shrugs. “He’s a good partner, to be fair. People like our dynamic. And he’s smart, though don’t tell ‘im I said that.”
“You spend much time with him outside of work?”
Gary squints, his face scrunching up in confusion. “Outside of work?” he asks, like it’s a completely foreign concept to him. Like there is no outside of work.
Which, it’s Gary, so for him there probably isn’t.
Maybe David needs to try a different approach.
*
The next time Gary is in London to cover a game with Sky, David shoots him a quick text asking dinner?, which Gary responds to with a thumbs up and the name of his hotel. Whether that’s because he wants to eat there or because he wants David to come pick him up he’s not sure, but either way he finds himself pulling up outside the Corinthia hotel that Friday evening, dressed in his smartest jeans and an unfussy old blazer.
He goes into the bar area, thinking he’ll order a drink and wait for Gary to come down, but Gary’s already there, sat at the bar with Carragher.
Perfect.
David meanders over to them, feeling slightly smug that he’s still enough to tear Gary’s attention away from Jamie, that Gary still gives him a glowy smile when he sees him approaching.
When he gets to them he shakes Jamie’s hand in greeting, pressing his other hand to the small of Gary’s back as he does so. Gary startles momentarily at the contact, but he quickly shakes it off and leans into the touch, beaming up at David.
“Becks!” he greets. “Me ‘n Carra were just catchin’ up while I was waitin’ for you to arrive. He’s stayin’ here this weekend, too, y’see.”
David notices that while Gary’s nattering away, Jamie’s eyes are fixed on where his hand is resting on Gary’s back, his lips pressed tightly together. David catches his eye and winks, giving him his prettiest smile.
He figures he might as well go all in, get the whole thing over and done with sooner rather than later, so he bends his head down to kiss the top of Gary’s head while he carries on chatting nonsense about tomorrow’s game.
The kiss stops Gary in his tracks, makes him blush a familiar shade of pink and then preen a bit, smiling up at David warmly.
Meanwhile, Jamie’s looking between the two of them like he’s ready to kill someone. Gary doesn’t spare him a second glance.
“Wha’d’ya fancy eating, Gaz?” David asks softly, pretending not to have noticed Jamie’s reaction.
“Whatever you like,” Gary says, just like he always does when the two of them go out to eat. “They’ve a pretty decent restaurant here, if you don’t fancy goin’ out. Otherwise, you prob’ly know the restaurants around London better’n I do, don’t you?”
*
David accidentally-on-purpose runs into him at the stadium the next day, and once again asks if he fancies going out for dinner.
“Erm,” Gary replies, reaching his hand up to rub at a dark patch on his neck. “I dunno, really, not sure if there’s anythin’ else Sky wants us for tonight, y’know?”
“Carragher can come too, if he wants,” David offers, rolling his eyes with a smirk at the way Gary instantly brightens.
“Oh!” he says, a blush rising up his cheeks, “oh, alright then! Think we’re both free, now that I think about it. I’ll just go check with ‘im and let you know.”
#also gaz being completely over whatever feelings he may have had for becks in his youth#but becks is still quite physically affectionate w him. which makes gary happy and ENRAGES jamie skjdahgfajdsh#carraville#drabbles#beville#well. a bit of beville. a smidge.
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my Thoughts on like, normals character and where he's going btw are highly based on his own flaws and like. idk ive kinda seen both sides (normal is a baby and must be protected versus normal needed this ego blow because he was getting too into his head) and I think it's maybe more nuanced than that? cause the thing is. normal is RIGHT to think that his side of things are the morally correct side. he's the one whose seen what the doodler wants and fears and where it came from, he had more perspective on the quest than any of the other teens and I'm not arguing otherwise because it'd be silly. it's HOW he's going about it that puts him firmly into the, "teen character is going to fuck up because they're a teenager" category: as much as he does genuinely try, he's not good at connecting to other people and he does put himself on this pedestal of "i know better and therefore im the best" that isn't exactly the MOST healthy mindset, as a self-proclaimed leader.
that being said, I absolutely understand where he's coming from in this episode in a very. he is hurting and lashing out kind of way? we know why scary is acting the way she is (her own past with her dad + willy trauma=she's still looking for the trauma that justifies her inner darkness) and we know why link is acting the way he is (he's hurt and scared and he never asked for this and he just wants to ensure that he's not the one actively hurting people, he never forgave himself for the casualties of ep2 and the last thing he wants is to add more) and one of normals flaws is his pride, the way he's so sure of what he's doing, he's the best for this and of COURSE it's the right way, he knows that!!!
but he can't empathize with scary right now. very specifically he cannot empathise with her because he can't trust her. and if he can't trust link he can't empathize with him either. normal does view himself as the reason the team is together, and I think that's why he was suddenly on board with kicking scary out when before he was so deadset on helping her: if he personally can't trust anyone, does he really have a team he can lead?
that being said, the shots taken on him recently have been sooo low in comparison. scary has done nothing but bully normal since they reunited. link has been sassy and snippy with normal even since ep26 and it's only gotten worse. normal and taylor don't really have much of a relationship outside the teen friendship circle in general. hermie is angry at normal- and I kinda agree with will that it should NOT solely be up to the players to remember anthony's fucking npc, as funny as it is. as much as I want normal to listen and understand and empathize with scary and link both, it IS a little frustrating when in comparison normals been fucking tanked at every opportunity by the other players- and link's line to normal after he found out about hero actually made me so upset on normal's behalf like dude.
I'm still on the boat that normal should get and deserves a mild villain arc. I desperately want him to team up with hermie and go to the goofs realm alone. I think it might be good for him- both to have a solo adventure with hermie and to have a solo adventure in general, so he can find out why he loves having friends so much. and I think him going through a villain arc would be so narratively compelling, because again, he's not WRONG about the path they should be taking: it isn't underestimating links personal trauma to admit that normal is actually right and he's just so bad at following through. it's just kinda a little tiring sometimes when normal actually does his best to keep the group together and it doesn't work (looking at episode 27 in particular) or when he tries to bury that oak family generational anger the way sparrow and henry do. let him be angry!!!
#kasey rambles#dndads#dndads spoilers#normal oak#THIS ISNT ME HATING ON THE OTHER TEENS BTW#like the whole point of this season imo? is to show that despite having the same goal#they all have such vastly different ideas on how to get there#its such a stark difference from s1 and i love it so bad#that they all have motivations and reasons and they've all been done a little dirty#but sjfjkgkflgb id be lying if i said that normal isnt a point of contention in the fandom from what ive seen#he kinda reminds me of marcy wu in that regards#itd be wrong to say that normals anger and sass in this ep wasnt justified just like#itd be wrong to say that links actions in breaking the pic and spying on scary werent justified#its a part of who they are! theyre fundamentally so different and thats okay!!!#link is angry with how normal's plans have only seemed to hurt more people and he is VALID for that anger like it makes sense!#but that doesnt mean normal isnt justified in being hurt that link broke the pic#also link snipping at normal about him being unwanted right after the reveal... i would've reacted so much worse than normal tbh#but idk idk im just rambling. a little drunk. drunk nyx having big feelings
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KAGIHIRA CHAPTER 22 !!!!!!!!!!! Rambling under the cut
Honestly kind of love how hirano keeps coming back to how long kagi has liked him its kind of like. If he wants their relationship to stay the same as it has been, depending on how long kagi has liked him then it staying the same would always include kagi’s love for him. “The kagi kun im fond of is the one who’s in love with me” etc etc. ive said it before but hes very scared of their relationship changing but it doesnt have to. Idiot. And also kagi teasing him about it. King.
WILD TASHIRO AND SHIRAHAMA SPOTTED! I could be so much weirder about them. Btw. They’re kind of like sasahira to me. I digress
Kagi’s missing button. Live niibashi reaction is sooo funny. He’s in hell. Would not be surprised if theres a conversation in the future about niibashi telling kagi how that was very un-just-roommates-like behavior from hirano. That was gay as hell. AND THE WAY NIIBASHI WALKS AWAY COVERING HIS EARS…..i love him so much.
And WHY IN GODS NAME did they go to the STAIRWELL? HMM??? Feel like theres other less conspicuous places to do this. Why did you take him to the fucking abandoned stairwell hirano. Anything related to your relationship with sasak[gets shot]
OH reading through a second time for this. Just realized he pointedly places his phone down for the ten seconds—neither of them are actually timing it. Im sure kagi is in his head and hes gonna say something about it probably being a little longer than just 10 seconds. And Hirano in general starting to notice the absence rather than the presence. You know. But also this touch was sooo cute like. Even if it doesnt make hiranos heart race or blush or whatever its so comfortable for him. Kagi’s rolling around and nuzzling his shoulder but its still not bad at all. It’s comfortable and easy and im going to rip my heart out.
Wild Hanzawa spotted. “How about becoming the vice president next year” why does he say this to literally everyone. He’s done it to hirano and kagi and tashiro and miyano apparently. This isn’t about him right now sorry.
Anyways. Getting to like the main meat of this chapter im locking on to so much. The conversation with miyano and surrounding feelings. Hirano also seems to lock on to the fact that his heart is supposed to race if hes in love. And then he conveniently tunes miyano out as he starts talking about how the comfort and family vibe around someone is also love.
And its like. Hirano seem so forlorn that his heart doesn’t race like kagi’s. “I guess i really cant feel that way about kagi kun huh…” what do you mean cant why do you sound so sad about it. Bitch. But also the admission that his heart was pounding when kagi hugged him in the nurses office. Okaaayyyyy. Yeah buddy that was just surprise. Mhm. Anyways. I’ve said it a million times and every chapter i feel more and more right that hirano wants to love kagi. But apparently he feels like he cant. He’s basing everything off of kagi’s feelings which are like very intense and touch based. But he doesnt experience love that way. If he had just LISTENED TO MIYANO[explodes] im fine. Thankfully he does listen to the part about how you think about the person and want to see them. And that subsequently thinking about how kagi being around makes him for focused and comfortable and wanting him around right now is gay as hell. “It’s NOT a date but” buddy if you have say ‘but’ then i hate to break it to you. Hirano what if i kill you for real. Kidding.
Anyways lovely chapter next one can’t come fast enough etc etc peace and love on planet kagihira
#looovvveee all the different kinds of love in the sasamiyaverse#god#it’s so good#clutches chest#hirano to kagiura#Hirano and kagiura#sunnfish.kghr
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Gaylors are like kindergartners like y’alls behavior is pointed out to be invasive and weird and you point at other people like “but they’reeeeee doing it tooooooo.” And? It doesn’t change that you’re all still parasocial creeps
ok so i’ve been very good about not trying to communicate with some of y’all bc i genuinely don’t like fighting. gaylors at least in my time with being here, have always listened to what taylor has said, unlike some of y’all who are getting all weird about her alleged relationship with the football player. yes, i can admit that there are some people in the fandom who take things too far, i am mature enough to admit tht, unlike a lot of you who have been calling us “freaks” and to “kill ourselves” bc we noticed queer themes in her music.
if you’re coming at me bc of the prologue, i would like for you to read the whole thing before speaking bc she clearly states she hated people speculating relationships with men and women. and if you were there during the 1989 era, you would notice that it wasn’t just relationship rumors being speculated, she was called horrible things for being in a group filled with models by everyone, she couldn’t even exist in the same space as another person without being questioned what her intentions were or if she was just trying to get something out of it, you realize that right? the media wanted to hate on her so badly that they did that shit.
i am very aware that you’re probably not gonna read this, but calling someone a para social creep isn’t cute or funny. you call us kindergarteners but im not the one calling names and being so cruel to other fandom members. we have been peaceful, at least from what i noticed. we haven’t done anything wrong, literally all we’ve done is notice the queer themes in her music and have been able to relate to it. if she’s straight, ill love her, if she’s queer, ill love her. that’s all i’m fucking saying here.
however she identifies as, that will not change my opinion on her, im not sure if i can say the same for some of you guys.
just wanna also make it known we aren’t the ones parading around places she goes to get a glimpse of her even tho she’s said multiple times she doesn’t like it. maybe fucking watch miss americana please.
also real cool of you to come at me anonymously, like you just wanna spread hate so badly that you’ll target a peaceful blogger.
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A Canary's Tweets
(Bolded are tweets that weren't already included in the fic)
Spoilers for the fic. Obviously.
~~~~~
OliverQueenOfficial: Why does that one Gotham villain go by Canary? Black Canary already exists.
TheBetterCanary: if youre gonna vague tweet maybe dont put my name in it
TheBetterCanary: but anyways someone else named me that and it stuck before i could think of something to change it to
ScareCrane:… @/RiddleMeThis she’s dissing you
RiddleMeThis: LISTEN UP. IT WAS THEMATIC. DON’T ANY OF YOU KNOW ANYTHING OF DRAMA? EVER HEAR ABOUT CANARIES IN COAL MINES? FUCK ALL OF YOU AND YOUR UNCULTURED, UNEDUCATED ASSES. NOT TO MENTION IT WAS MAKING FUN OF THE BIRD THEME ALL THE VIGILANTES HER AGE SEEM TO HAVE. (1/14)
TheBetterCanary: @/ScareCrane why would you do that you knew he was going to do this
ScareCrane: Joker just broke out so Arkham is boring… needed to entertain myself somehow
TheBetterCanary: fuck you im not visiting this weekend
OliverQueenOfficial: Wow do I regret asking. I didn’t need all this family drama in my comments.
~
TheBetterCanary: @/Yummmmmm enemies to lovers 180k with me
Yummmmmm: I hate you
TheBetterCanary: and so it begins
~
TheBetterCanary: gonna lace a cross with kryptonite i think that would be so funny
TheBetterCanary: the christians would so cancel superman if he had to shy away from a cross
Yummmmmm: Isn’t he already canceled because he’s Jewish
Supes: Please stop reminding them.
~
TheBetterCanary: @/Yummmmmm stop hacking into my twitter to unblock nightwing he keeps liking my tweets hating on him
*liked by Daylightwing*
TheBetterCanary: you guys think youre so funny
*liked by Daylightwing*
~
Gothamlite: Red Robin and Nightwing really said I will hack Canary’s twitter but not to figure out her location, no we must mildly inconvenience her by unblocking Nightwing.
TheBetterCanary: to be fair the unblocking nightwing thing is far more annoying to me
*Liked by Daylightwing*
TheBetterCanary: motherfucker
~
TheBetterCanary: where are you guys @/ScareCrane @/RiddleMeThis
ScareCrane: Arkham…
TheBetterCanary: leave i want to talk to you
RiddleMeThis: We can’t just leave.
TheBetterCanary: yeah you can all you gotta do is get out
RiddleMeThis: It’s not that easy for us.
TheBetterCanary: oh right
TheBetterCanary: want me to help you guys out
ScareCrane: Yes please
~
ArkhamStaffHateClub: and, in today’s news, the day canary is spotted walking into arkham is the same day there was a breakout
TheBetterCanary: i have no clue why they even let me in anymore
Gothamlite: @/GCPDNews @/Batman7 @/Oracle @/Yummmmmm
TheBetterCanary: hey youre nineteen right
Gothamlite: Yes?
TheBetterCanary: fair game
~
TheBetterCanary: tim drake 🤝 red robin
throwing coffee cups in random trash cans so their families don't know how much they’re drinking
Yummmmmm: Snitch
~
ScareCrane: Well, if nothing else, giving Canary therapy has been interesting…
SpoilerAlert: did you learn anything
ScareCrane: I confirmed that she’s a pathological liar…
~
TheBetterCanary: @/BrucieWayne give me a hundred million dollars and ill stop doing crime
BrucieWayne: Done.
TheBetterCanary: i take it back five hundred million
BrucieWayne: Sure.
TheBetterCanary: a billion
BrucieWayne: Alright.
TheBetterCanary: what the fuck
~
NightwingsAss9384: does anyone know why nightwing and canary hate each other?
ScareCrane: She stabbed Batman once on accident and somehow got away with blaming it on him
Daylightwing: She refuses to let B adopt her.
RiddleMeThis: They think it’s funny when their stans fight.
SignalOfficial: They said ‘I’m the only flippy bitch allowed in New Jersey’ and have been fighting ever since
Yummmmmm: He has to or else Robin will get jealous because he’s the only stabby sibling allowed
Oracle: They’re fighting over who gets to change their name to ‘The Dodo’ first.
DeadHood: Nightwing is jealous that Canary was the first one of us to think to have a full-on bird mask.
TheBetterCanary: every time i go into the batfam tag to try and avoid them all i see is his fancams
SpoilerAlert: they’re both convinced that they’re the hottest bachelor/bachelorette in gotham
NightwingsAss9384: im beginning to think no ones going to tell me.
BlackBat: :)
~
RiddleMeThis: I can’t believe Spoiler likes me more than my own daughter.
SpoilerAlert: i just think you’re better than cluemaster was, i don’t like you
ScareCrane: To be fair he didnt say you had to like him… just that you liked him more than Canary
ScareCrane: Anyways, what did you do @/TheBetterCanary
TheBetterCanary: hes just being dramatic because i solved one of his riddles too quickly
RiddleMeThis: IT IS COMMON ETIQUETTE TO LET SOMEONE FINISH TALKING BEFORE YOU ANSWER THEM.
~
TheBetterCanary: beat the shit out of a joker stan today so i think my life is going pretty good
SpoilerAlert: 👨🦯👨🦯
Daylightwing: As You Should.
Oracle: Oh dear, seems like I’ve gone blind now, too.
Batman7: As long as no one died...
DeadHood: Not as good as beating the shit out of the real thing, but still pretty good.
BlackBat: :D
TheOneTrueRobin: Good for her.
~
TheBetterCanary: we all know that there is a tier list of rogue stans
TheBetterCanary: like poison ivy and mr freeze stans are all just leftists that want a healthy world and for people to not die because theyre poor
TheBetterCanary: harley quinn stans want her to achieve personal growth and thats respectable i guess
TheBetterCanary: then theres my stans and thats just because half of them arent even aware im a villain they just think im some influencer thats very committed to a bit and the other half are just horny which is fair i guess
TheBetterCanary: then theres every other stan right
TheBetterCanary: and of course at the bottom are joker stans because theyre nazis
Joker: WHAT
TheBetterCanary: did you not know
Joker: GIVE ME A MINUTE
TheBetterCanary: wait no dm me where you are i want to punch a couple of them too
~
BlackGatePrison: We have made this account to kindly ask Canary to stop helping Yakuza members break out of prison.
TheBetterCanary: no their restaurants make good food
~
TheBetterCanary: in case you were wondering rogues do in fact reuse a lot of their speeches
TheBetterCanary: especially @/RiddleMeThis he reuses the same like five riddles over and over again
RiddleMeThis: Why would you expose your own father like this?
TheBetterCanary: im sick of those riddles get new ones you unoriginal fuck
~
TheBetterCanary: you just lost the game
RiddleMeThis: FUCK YOU.
~
Supes: Why are Rogues… like that?
TheBetterCanary: mental illness
Supes: I see.
~
GotHam: Does anyone know Canary’s tragic backstory?
TheBetterCanary: i met a parisian once
DeadHood: Know what? I think she should be allowed to commit crimes. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
TheBetterCanary: thanks for offering support during these trying times
~
TheBetterCanary: friendly reminder that i can and have benched batman so fucking with me is a bad idea
RiddleMeThis: Bullshit.
TheBetterCanary: meet me at the park ill prove it
TheBetterCanary: @/Batman7 get the stick out of your ass and get over here itll be fun
GothamGazette: Canary can, in fact, bench Batman. See the attached article for how they discovered this fact and how their respective friends and family reacted.
~
TheBetterCanary: calling him the riddler implies that there are other riddlers that are less important therefore it is stupid and i refuse to say the the part aloud
RiddleMeThis: Someone got onto you about your grammar again, didn’t they?
TheBetterCanary: you dont get to be condescending until you win against the bats even once
~
RedRobinsCape: red robin gives off so much Bi Wife Energy it’s insane
Yummmmmm: What do you mean bi wife energy, Red Robin IS bi
TheOneTrueRobin: This is not your private account.
Yummmmmm: Fuck
~
GothamTimes: We are pleased to announce that Robin has officially come out as bisexual!
Yummmmmm: Hate to tell you this @/GothamTimes but you forgot part of my name
TheOneTrueRobin: No. I stole the bisexuality from you when you became Red Robin.
TheBetterCanary: hold up guys maybe they just think that all of the robins are bi
DeadHood: Being bi is actually a little-known prerequisite for being Robin.
SpoilerAlert: roBIn
Daylightwing: @/TheBetterCanary Youre bi right?
TheBetterCanary: all these years avoiding being adopted by batman and its my sexuality that screwed me over
~
TheBetterCanary: why go to a professional doctor who spent years getting their degree when you can get fixed up by a guy named brett in his mothers garage
~
Yummmmmm: @/TheBetterCanary If you could do one crime without consequences what would you do
TheBetterCanary: i do that anyways
TheBetterCanary: but also id beat up the guy who came up with trickle down economics
Yummmmmm: Ronald Reagan is already dead
TheBetterCanary: i could be digging up corpses to beat them up in my spare time you dont know me
~
GothamGazette: And, for the fourth year in a row, Canary has been nominated as the city’s favorite Rogue! See the attached article for the other rankings.
TheBetterCanary: further proof that im the hottest rogue in gotham
DeadHood: Bullshit.
Catwomnyan: Not at all.
PoisonIvy: No❤️
RiddleMeThis: I never should have helped her. I used to win every year and this is the thanks I get.
Penguin: Don’t feel bad, I’m pretty sure she rigs it
TheBetterCanary: please if i rigged it id set it up so i would win by exactly one point
ScareCrane: Someone’s just mad that they got last place
Penguin: I got placed lower than Joker, of course I’m mad
TheBetterCanary: its because youre boring hope that helps
~
TheBetterCanary: just saw catwoman make out with batman to get out of jail so here is my formal application to be red robins fuck buddy
Yummmmmm: Why me
TheBetterCanary: all the other bats around my age are way out of my league so youre my last resort
SpoilerAlert: ouch™ sucks to suck red
BlackBat: XD
SignalOfficial: I mean… she’s not wrong
Yummmmmm: You’re all dead to me
~
TheBetterCanary: one day robin will get a cat and name it batcat and it will completely ruin the batfamily ship and pet tags
TheOneTrueRobin: @/Batman7 Father…
~
TheBetterCanary: everyone thinks i know things because im smart but a lot of the time people just accidentally tell me things
TheBetterCanary: the reason i found out about the league was that one of their members saw i was asian and just assumed i was one of them and no one realized i was just some random person until like three weeks in
BernieDowd: the league?
TheBetterCanary: dont worry about it
TheBetterCanary: wait youre that conspiracy theorist actually do worry about it i would love to know what you think im talking about
~
SpoilerAlert: canary totally has a knife kink
TheBetterCanary: what the fuck
SpoilerAlert: why else would you use knives almost exclusively
TheBetterCanary: because theyre quiet
TheBetterCanary: and stabby
SpoilerAlert: you’re so right i’m so sorry
~
GothamGazette: Riddler and Canary’s vendetta against escape rooms! See the attached photo and article!
TheBetterCanary: @/ScareCrane look mom were on tv
ScareCrane: Very proud of you sweetie
MetropolisIsOverrated: Did I just watch canary and riddler use a police car like it was a fucking CAB??
RiddleMeThis: You missed the perfect opportunity for an 'ACAB' joke.
SignalOfficial: Damn it… can’t believe you’re out of custody already
TheBetterCanary: bold of you to assume we were ever in custody
~
TimDrakeWayne: Sometimes I wonder whether I’ve seen Canary at cosplay shops before and just not recognized her
TheBetterCanary: it isnt cosplay its acting
TimDrakeWayne: And where do you get your costumes
TheBetterCanary: alright everyone socialist uprising time its time to eat the rich especially this guy
TimDrakeWayne: Please don’t, I probably don’t taste good
~
TheBetterCanary: watching a furry get beat up like damn but its kinda his fault for going out in a fursuit
TheBetterCanary: i cant believe this is what im getting cancelled over and not the millions of times i helped out villains
TheBetterCanary: oh so now everyone cares about the villain thing wow i see how it is
TheBetterCanary: im a gothamite this is literally a joke about all the fursuits that the vigilantes and rogues have i dont care about actual furries damn
TheBetterCanary: twitter unverified me over this im going to commit a murder
~
TheBetterCanary: going to start calling villains i dont like by the wrong name to annoy them
TheBetterCanary: called penguin a cuckoo and he really acted like i was stigmatizing mental illness like bitch i am mental illness
TheBetterCanary: okay apparently blockbuster really misses disco he just burst into tears in front of me what do i do
TheBetterCanary: called joker jack and he freaked and tried to shoot me
TheBetterCanary: i have given up calling them the wrong names
~
TheBetterCanary: hey @/RiddleMeThis and @/ScareCrane marry each other and claim me as a dependant
ScareCrane: I mean… sure but why
TheBetterCanary: tax benefits
RiddleMeThis: You’re so right. Meet me in an hour.
Yummmmmm: I hate to be a buzzkill but, if you’re going to commit marriage fraud, maybe don’t announce it on a public platform
TheBetterCanary: maybe dont be a snitch and mind your own business damn
Yummmmmm: Your job is literally being a snitch and not minding your own business
TheBetterCanary: yeah but when i do it its in the cool sexy way
~
TheBetterCanary: props to the guy that tried to pull an updog on me the other day he definitely had some guts
TheOneTrueRobin: What is ���updog”?
TheBetterCanary: oh honey i am so sorry
SpoilerAlert: nothing whats up with you
Daylightwing: Nothing wbu?
Oracle: Are we going to pretend that Canary didn’t definitely harvest organs from that guy?
SignalOfficial: Nothing much whats up with you
~
TheBetterCanary: @/TheOneTrueRobin hey i need help with a math problem can you come here
TheOneTrueRobin: I suppose so.
TheOneTrueRobin: She was setting up a sniper gun.
TheBetterCanary: to be fair theres angles involved
Batman7: @/TheOneTrueRobin You didn’t help her, correct?
Batman7: @/TheOneTrueRobin?
~
GothamGazette: Joker gets shot in the hand!
Batman7: Well, at least she didn’t kill anyone, I guess.
Joker: THERE IS A FUCKING HOLE IN MY PALM.
TheBetterCanary: i was aiming for your middle finger if that makes you feel any better
Joker: YKNOW IT REALLY FUCKING DOESNT.
~
SignalOfficial: Holy shit @/TheBetterCanary do you seriously have a Nokia
TheBetterCanary: fuck off im tired of my phones breaking while i fight
TheBetterCanary: or better yet donate to a gofundme to get me a better phone
~
TheBetterCanary: the quickest way to my heart is through someone elses
Batman7: Please stop encouraging people to commit murder.
TheBetterCanary: no
~
Yummmmmm: @/TheBetterCanary Stop pulling the racism card at every minor inconvenience challenge
TheBetterCanary: is this sexism that i am experiencing
TheBetterCanary: do i sense a bit of homophobia here
TheBetterCanary: look at this ableist bitch
SignalOfficial: Honestly @/Yummmmmm you played yourself here
SpoilerAlert: gee bill how come your mom lets you have four minorities
TheBetterCanary: ive got a punchcard and if i collect five minorities i get one get out of jail free card
Oracle: @/TheBetterCanary Wait. Ableism?
TheBetterCanary: what about me screams mentally stable to you
~
TheBetterCanary: penguin feels homophobic but you didnt hear it from me
RiddleMeThis: He isn’t. Trust me.
TheBetterCanary: hey what does this mean
TheBetterCanary: ed
TheBetterCanary: ed pick up the fucking phone
~
TheBetterCanary: this is now a riddler hate account
RiddleMeThis: I was 30! And mentally ill!
TheBetterCanary: as if you arent mentally ill now
TheBetterCanary: anyways @/ScareCrane congrats on winning youve got adoption rights
ScareCrane: As happy as I am… what happened
RiddleMeThis: She found out I dated Penguin fifteen years ago.
TheBetterCanary: im never forgiving you for this
TheBetterCanary: @/RiddleMeThis did you just throw a burlap sack full of money at my window
RiddleMeThis: Depends. Is it working?
TheBetterCanary: ooooo nonsequential serial numbers my favorite
TheBetterCanary: yeah youre back in the game
ScareCrane: DAMN IT
~
TheBetterCanary: ugh why is riddler so annoying
Gothamlite: Right?
TheBetterCanary: the fuck did you just say ill kill you
~
TheBetterCanary: reading self insert fanfiction about yourself is self care actually
TheBetterCanary: im thirsting over black bat on my first page glad to see they nailed my characterization
TheBetterCanary: how did they manage to find the one trauma i dont actually have like dude you were standing five feet in front of the target and you shot straight up what
TheBetterCanary: kissed a mirror to simulate kissing myself and let me say im not as good a kisser as i was in the fic
TheBetterCanary: if im screwing me is it masturbation or clone fucking
TheBetterCanary: theyre moving in together after three months its always great to see good lesbian representation
TheBetterCanary: im taking myself on a shopping spree and honestly good for me
TheBetterCanary: haha wait a minute why are there death flags
TheBetterCanary: i missed major character death in the tags hlep
Yummmmmm: Rip
~
SpoilerAlert: happy two year anniversary to the time canary and red robin dressed up as each other for halloween and almost ruined each other’s reputation in opposite ways
TheBetterCanary: im still offended you guys think that im secretly a good person
Yummmmmm: At least they don’t think you’d turn evil at the drop of a hat
DeadHood: To be fair, out of every Rogue and Vigilante, you two are the most likely to switch sides.
TheBetterCanary: fucks that supposed to mean
Yummmmmm: Go back to angsting over Percy Jackson not being as good as it used to be or something fuck you
TheBetterCanary: harry potter and the audacity of this bitch
Yummmmmm: As if you aren’t so in the middle that most people don’t know which side you’re on half the time
TheBetterCanary: you literally died and came back dont you talk about switching sides
~
SpoilerAlert: @/TheBetterCanary how did you get verified
TheBetterCanary: threats
SpoilerAlert: oh cool thanks for the tip
~
Batman7: @/TheBetterCanary Did any of my children visit your home last night for medical assistance?
TheBetterCanary: transfer me five thousand and ill tell you
Batman7: Done.
TheBetterCanary: nice
TheBetterCanary: anyways the answer is no they did not
~
TheBetterCanary: ew nightwing is in town for thanksgiving
*liked by Daylightwing*
TheBetterCanary: @/RiddleMeThis do you still have that red wig or no
RiddleMeThis: You are not convincing me to try and seduce Nightwing.
GothamGazette: Nightwing spotted getting decked by what was obviously Riddler in a red wig! See the attached article for pictures!
Daylightwing: I mean. It wasn’t THAT obvious.
~
Yummmmmm: Gotta love when all of your POC friends gang up on you try and get you to say the word
Daylightwing: What word? I don’t know any words.
TheBetterCanary: cmon red answer the question we wont tell anyone
TheOneTrueRobin: We know you want to say it.
SignalOfficial: It’s fun I’ll even say it first if it makes you feel better
Yummmmmm: @/BlackBat Help
BlackBat: @/Daylightwing @/TheBetterCanary @/TheOneTrueRobin @/SignalOfficial
TheBetterCanary: scatter
~
TheBetterCanary: sometimes i remember that theres probably a huge database where the bats keep track of and analyze every tweet we rogues make and it makes me smile
TheBetterCanary: anyways
TheBetterCanary: contrary to popular opinion there is a difference between being a slut and having a lot of sex
TheBetterCanary: nightwing is a slut that is relatively monogamous
*liked by Daylightwing*
TheBetterCanary: batman has ungodly amounts of sex in the worst places imaginable but no one would ever call him a slut
TheBetterCanary: thank you for coming to my ted talk
~
TheBetterCanary: we rogues and bats need a token straight so the straights dont get mad so who is gonna take the fall for us
Yummmmmm: They can have Joker, we don’t want him
TheBetterCanary: nah i dont want to know who he would fixate on if he liked women so someone else
RiddleMeThis: The straights can have Penguin.
TheBetterCanary: no i dont want him to have straight privilege
SignalOfficial: I’ll take one for the team
TheBetterCanary: this is why youre the best
~
RiddleMeThis: Has anyone ever wondered why @/ScareCrane hasn’t used a truth serum to figure out Batman’s identity yet? Because there’s a reason.
ScareCrane: I don’t deserve this…
RiddleMeThis: @/TheBetterCanary Do you want to do the honors of telling the public or should I?
TheBetterCanary: hahahaha oh right i remember that let me
TheBetterCanary: while it compels people to tell the truth it doesnt force them to tell them the answer
TheBetterCanary: so batman just ranted about his most recent hyperfixation for five hours until red robin showed up to help
SpoilerAlert: what was he hyperfixated on at the time lmao
ScareCrane: Sprinklers…
Yummmmmm: They were practically begging me to take them to Arkham by the end
Batman7: You three didn’t like the conversation we had?
BlackBat: @/RiddleMeThis @/ScareCrane @/TheBetterCanary
RiddleMeThis: It was very enlightening.
ScareCrane: It was actually very enjoyable
TheBetterCanary: ive always wanted to know about sprinklers
BlackBat: :)
~
MarryMeCanary: So since Canary knows a lot about shipping… do you guys think she has a tumblr?
TheBetterCanary: everyone should be glad i dont the only thing keeping me from going absolutely feral is the fact that i dont want to get banned on twitter
~
TheBetterCanary: every year i say this is the last year that im going to help my fellow rogues file their taxes for extra cash and every year im a liar please pay me money
User44555511552: Are we going to talk about how Rogues are literal SERIAL KILLERS but they still file taxes??? Because that shit is weird???
TheBetterCanary: there are two things that rogues fear
TheBetterCanary: the irs and the goon union
TheBetterCanary: yes i know they should have called it the goonion its not my fault they cant name things damn stop spamming me
User44555511552: But WHY are you scared of the IRS???
Yummmmmm: Because they can’t get off with insanity pleas so, hypothetically, they might actually have to face some kind of punishment for their crimes
~
TheBetterCanary: i should have called the cps on @/Batman7 when i had the chance
~
Yummmmmm: @/TheBetterCanary What did you do to piss of Ra’s
TheBetterCanary: who
TheBetterCanary: oh wait youre talking about old man number two
Yummmmmm: Nevermind I think I figured it out
TheOneTrueRobin: Old man number two?
TheBetterCanary: he and one other guy are both way over three hundred which makes them old men and i met him second therefore hes number two
TheBetterCanary: tell him that if he wants to be old man number one then he can always kill the guy
TheOneTrueRobin: I highly doubt that it is the numbering that has irritated him.
TheOneTrueRobin: I stand corrected. He wishes for a name.
TheBetterCanary: check your dms it should be between the video of the dog wearing booties for the first time and the picture of the pig in a teapot
TheOneTrueRobin: I have located it. That is a very generic name, and likely an alias, but thank you.
~
BernieDowd: @/TheBetterCanary what do you think about people that think that the Waynes are the bats?
TheBetterCanary: honestly every argument is super flimsy
BernieDowd: what about the bruises on the Wayne men?
TheBetterCanary: have you seen the kinds of women that theyre into
TheBetterCanary: if they arent into some shit id release my actual name to the public
TheBetterCanary: lmao the wayne legal team is trying to sue me for slander
TheBetterCanary: its not slander if its true babes
~
TheBetterCanary: @/DeadHood always gets credit for being the most committed to the bit because he wears a second mask under his helmet but @/Janus manages to find every set of twins in gotham for every job without fail so really i think hes the most devoted rogue
~
RiddleMeThis: I’m starting to believe that the only reason @/TheBetterCanary is still alive is that she has so much sheer audacity that no one knows how to react.
ScareCrane: She looked Batman dead in the eye during a lecture and said “And what’re you going to do if I do it again? Kill me? Didn’t think so”... so, yeah, that’s probably it
Yummmmmm: The first time I tried to fight her she asked if I had taken pole dancing lessons in preparation for using my bo
Catwomnyan: She helped me rob a store at gunpoint and then revealed to me that the gun she was using was just a prop because she had forgotten the real one at home
DeadHood: I stopped genuinely trying to catch her when I watched her give a guy sunglasses, say “You’re going to need this!”, and then light his house on fire. I asked what he did to deserve it. Apparently, he “booped her nose”.
PoisonIvy: She chugged an entire glass of poisoned wine and then asked penguin how he managed to get his hands on it because it tasted really good ❤️
Janus: She got called into court for a civil suit. I offered to be her lawyer. She refused because she had apparently been in Mock Trial in high school. She said she had failed the course, and hardly remembered anything, but was prepared to wing it. She managed to win the case.
Batman7: She once provided me with an itemized list as to why she should be allowed to commit murder. Items 1-57 and 59-101 were all “I’m hot”. Item 58 was simply “Joker”.
~
Penguin: Canary says she’s not a bitch but if someone paid her ten dollars I bet she would bark like a dog
TheBetterCanary: when have i ever said im not a bitch
~
TheBetterCanary: i want money so im now taking sponsors
Yummmmmm: That’s not going to work, no one wants to sponsor a rogue
TheBetterCanary: youre right
TheBetterCanary: im now taking antisponsors where i promote your competitors so they look bad
Daylightwing: Preeeeeetty sure thats illegal
TheBetterCanary: i will ponder the legality and morality of what i am doing over a refreshing can of doctor pepper
~
TheBetterCanary: nightwing is the type of guy to make pancakes with the scrambled egg method and then cry when it doesnt work
Daylightwing: Get out of my safehouse
~
TheBetterCanary: hey @/ScareCrane can i vent to you
ScareCrane: Of course
ScareCrane: The motherfucker came out of the vents
TheBetterCanary: i literally warned you
~
TheOneTrueRobin: @/TheBetterCanary and @/SignalOfficial, please refrain from calling my mother a “MILF” from now on.
SignalOfficial: We only speak the truth
TheBetterCanary: tell her to stop being a milf if youre so concerned about it
~
TheOneTrueRobin: Canary is a lot less threatening when she dramatically whips out a contract, only to give herself a papercut and then cry for five whole minutes.
TheBetterCanary: fuck you youre paying extra
~
TheBetterCanary: i know im the number one nightwing hater and all
*Liked by Daylightwing*
TheBetterCanary: but i can respect someone who regularly butchers the english language
Daylightwing: It is very dumb.
TheBetterCanary: the fact that it exists is a hate crime against me personally
SpoilerAlert: not what a hate crime is
TheBetterCanary: oh yeah white girl tell me all about hate crimes id love to hear your take
SpoilerAlert: on second thought you’re good
TheBetterCanary: thats what i fucking thought
~
SignalOfficial: @/TheBetterCanary What is this shit are you fucking serious oh my god
TheBetterCanary: youre going to have to be more specific than that but im going to go off on a limb here and say probably not
SignalOfficial: Why is there a bird in Scarecrow’s cell
TheBetterCanary: oh that
SignalOfficial: Don’t “oh that” me what the fuck is this
TheBetterCanary: do i really have to spell it out for you
TheBetterCanary: thats not just any type of bird its a crane and it turns out the local zookeepers have a pretty dark sense of humor
SignalOfficial: Fuck
TheOneTrueRobin: @/Batman7 Father…
Batman7: No.
TheOneTrueRobin: Where is your Christmas spirit?
Batman7: You are Muslim. I am Jewish.
TheBetterCanary: aw @/TheOneTrueRobin if you join my side ill let you keep the bird
TheOneTrueRobin: I will consider the offer and get back to you within five to six business days.
Batman7: @/TheOneTrueRobin Fine. You can keep Jonathan the Crane, but he is not allowed in the cave.
TheOneTrueRobin: @/Batman7 I agree to your terms. @/TheBetterCanary I regret to inform you that I must decline your offer.
TheBetterCanary: @/TheOneTrueRobin happy holidays kid dont say i never do anything for you
Batman7: Damn it.
~
TheBetterCanary: best idea for a prank is to give your enemies a completely normal shirt for christmas and watch them suffer as they try to figure out what you did to it
Penguin: Maybe don’t post your plans on a public platform
TheBetterCanary: that shirt looks great on you
TheBetterCanary: part two of the prank is to say that its fine in front of them so they put it on to spite you and then get chicken pox
~
TheBetterCanary: sometimes i forget how starved shippers are for content and then i see someone shipping me with robin because i didnt kill him when i could have and im like oh yeah right
~
GothamGazette: DNA found on a headless body in Park Row confuses scientists!
SpoilerAlert: no head *breaks skateboard*
Batman7: Someone is dead.
TheBetterCanary: it was a skateboard breaking of mourning
~
France24: Hawkmoth was just found dead in his cell!
TheRealLadybug: @/ChatonNoir told you ed would follow through you owe me a dollar
ChatonNoir: Wild
ChatonNoir: Wait when did he kill him we just saw him yesterday
TheRealLadybug: how about we chalk it up to the power of love hahaha
TheLadyBlog: LADYBUG YOU’RE ALIVE?!
TheRealLadybug: nah it turns out that hell has really good wifi
~
TheBetterCanary: @/Penguin youre not a girlboss youre a boyemployee
SignalOfficial: @/Staff I am begging you guys to just ban her already
~
Batman: okay my fellow gothamites were going to have a purge kind of situation in a couple of days to see if it actually reduces crime throughout the rest of the year feel free to commit crimes none of us bats will arrest you i promise
Batman7: Canary. Please stop. I said I was sorry.
Batman: shut up youre probably balding
Yummmmmm: What did he do
Batman: got me banned so now i have to use this account
Yummmmmm: I’ll unban you
Batman: okay but im not taking back the tweets
~
TheBetterCanary: i hate trying on new clothes the stuff i like never fits
TheBetterCanary: im too short to be a slut
BlackBat: :(
User223584125153: Fatherless behavior
TheBetterCanary: yknow i was gonna give a proper response but then i realized i dont have to
TheBetterCanary: @/Scarecrane @/RiddleMeThis get his ass
Daylightwing: @/Batman7
TheBetterCanary: i resent that but also @/Batman7 beat him uppppp
~
TheBetterCanary: nightwing fightwing for whats rightwing
*Liked by Daylightwing*
Daylightwing: Feel the need to clarify that just because I Liked this doesn’t mean I liked it.
TheBetterCanary: go crywing
~
TheBetterCanary: i live in constant shame that nothing i ever say will ever be as funny as two face when he called bruce wayne a dumb slut on live tv
~
TheBetterCanary: it looks like some dumbass has decided to kidnap alfred pennyworth so its time to take bets
RiddleMeThis: Oh! $50 says Pennyworth kills them!
TheBetterCanary: cheap and lame but fine
Yummmmmm: Seven hundred says we’ll get there in time
TheBetterCanary: lmao alright
Catwomnyan: Exactly 180 on Bruce Wayne finally snapping and going on a rampage.
TheBetterCanary: nice nice id pay to see that
Penguin: The Wayne luck is going to kick in and he’s going to get out without even trying
TheBetterCanary: fuck you you arent allowed to play
TheBetterCanary: wait how much are you betting
Penguin: 1k
TheBetterCanary: welcome to the game
DeadHood: 15 cents says I’ll get to them first and put a bullet in their head.
TheBetterCanary: and i thought ed was cheap but whatever good luck with that
TheBetterCanary: huh
TheBetterCanary: it seems that there was a secret other option where the dumbass apparently follows me and decided to let alfred go
ScareCrane: So… who wins then
TheBetterCanary: me pay up bitches
~
TheBetterCanary: if one more person asks what my body count is i swear they will be added to the number
~
TheBetterCanary: im bored im gonna start gaslighting people about things they already know now
TheBetterCanary: like what are people gonna do if i say im chinese after all these years i can just pull the racism card if they disagree this plan is foolproof
Daylightwing: But you ARE chinese.
TheBetterCanary: of course i am we all know this
~
Supes: I don’t see why Batman has such a hard time defeating the Rogues. Most of them don’t even have powers.
TheBetterCanary: yes we do
Supes: You do? What are they?
TheBetterCanary: being annoying
RiddleMeThis: Being annoying.
ScareCrane: Being annoying
Janus: Being annoying.
Joker: BEING ANNOYING
PoisonIvy: Being annoying 💖
Batman7: @/PoisonIvy You literally have powers.
Catwomnyan: Being annoying.
~
TheBetterCanary: people ask me how im so relaxed around rogues and vigilantes all the time and i just gotta say
TheBetterCanary: first of all bold of you to assume im ever relaxed
TheBetterCanary: second of all all these bitches are like one dropped ice cream away from a mental breakdown i aint scared of them
SpoilerAlert: true 😔
ScareCrane: True…
Yummmmmm: True
Penguin: Hate to agree with Canary, but true
Penguin: What the fuck
Penguin: @/TheBetterCanary did you really just attack me outside an ice cream shop to try and make me drop my ice cream cone
TheBetterCanary: wasnt me but i wish it was that sounds hilarious
Penguin: Bullshit, I saw your face
TheBetterCanary: i dont know what to tell you man maybe youve been thinking about me too much and hallucinated me or something
TheBetterCanary: i already said in the discord server that im stuck inside for the foreseeable future you dumb bitch
DeadHood: Wait a minute… the server is still active? I thought you guys said that you were deleting it because it was compromised…
PoisonIvy: 😬
~
JuliusDay: there’s a discord server? why am i not on it?
TheBetterCanary: its to make sure we dont get caught up in each others attacks no one is scared of you
JuliusDay: i’d still like to know when your attacks will be…
TheBetterCanary: lol
FiendlyFyre: Why am I not on it?
TheBetterCanary: you were dead until like a week ago let me add you back
MadAsAHatter: And me
TheBetterCanary: no
TheBetterCanary: and for the record @/Tweedlesdeeanddum you arent getting in either no one likes you wonderland bitches
Tweedlesdeeanddum: we didn’t even do anything
TheBetterCanary: fuck you
~
TheBetterCanary: i fell for the mark oh my god im a cliche fuck
SignalOfficial: TALON????
TheBetterCanary: yeah the bird mask really does something for me
TheBetterCanary: dumbass
~
TheBetterCanary: my legal team has asked me yet again to tell you guys that nothing i say here is serious and should not be used in a court of law
Yummmmmm: You have a legal team
TheBetterCanary: not really but sometimes ill tweet something incriminating and two face will break into one of my safehouses and yell at the camera
RiddleMeThis: I see we have competition @/Scarecrane.
ScareCrane: … I see… a temporary truce, then
Janus: Please. I don’t want her.
RiddleMeThis: Why not? She’s awesome.
ScareCrane: You’d be lucky to have the right to adopt her
Janus: Somehow I think I’ve made this worse for myself.
Janus: @/TheBetterCanary Help me.
TheBetterCanary: no this is peak entertainment
~
Yummmmmm: Canary is sick, I will ask her to impart some wisdom upon us
TheBetterCanary: nif e
DeadHood: She has spoken.
~
Yummmmmm: Sickness update – Canary is currently very loudly complaining about how red hair isn’t really red so I think she’ll live
~
TheBetterCanary: thought red robin was decent until he told me he thought nightwing and oracle are the best nightwing ship
Yummmmmm: They’re a classic
TheBetterCanary: so was slavery bitch nightwing is way cuter with starfire
Daylightwing: Do I get a say in this?
TheBetterCanary: no fuck off
Yummmmmm: Yeah this ain’t about you
Daylightwing: It literally is?
~
TheBetterCanary: batman and bruce wayne should date so they can combine their hoards of kids
BernieDowd: bold of you to assume that bruce isn’t already batman’s sugar daddy.
TheBetterCanary: youre so right i am so sorry
~
TheBetterCanary: that super relatable moment when you have to dismantle a system that has benefited you for years
BlackBat: :(
TheBetterCanary: at least i get to put calendar man to shame on one of his favorite days
BlackBat: :D
Batman7: What are you planning to do and how?
TheBetterCanary: like id tell you youd just stop me
SpoilerAlert: ten bucks says she’s gonna do a murder
SignalOfficial: Man, I just finished my shift, too
~
TheBetterCanary: Hey guys Im not actually Canary but shes letting me borrow her account to make a fun little announcement anonymously
TheBetterCanary: Ive compiled a list of every Court member in Gotham that @/TheBetterCanary @/107kidsncounting and I knew about along with all of the proof we could gather over a month long period
TheBetterCanary: Here you go shorturl.at/hMW27 enjoy the hitlist everyone
107kidsncounting: im going to kill you i didnt spend hours finding proof for you fuckers just to get fucking rickrolled in fucking 2022
TheBetterCanary: Okay okay sorry mom lmao here’s the actual link shorturl.at/BKOR1
~
Gothamlite: This feels like a trap. Why would Canary hurt the Court when she benefits from corrupt systems?
TheBetterCanary: well you see the thing is i enjoy this thing called being alive
~
TheOneTrueRobin: @/TheBetterCanary, @/RiddleMeThis, @/ScareCrane, and their other evil friend are all laughing maniacally. They will not stop. It has been ten minutes.
107kidsncounting: try hitting one of them
TheOneTrueRobin: They’re laughing harder now.
107kidsncounting: yea lol
TheOneTrueRobin: I should have read the username.
107kidsncounting: probably lmao tell the kids i say hi
TheOneTrueRobin: Fine.
TheOneTrueRobin: They told me to tell you “👍”.
~
TheBetterCanary: hey idiot where are you
TheBetterCanary: I got stabbed lol
TheBetterCanary: oh lol
ScareCrane: This is not a lol matter you two
TheBetterCanary: Lol
TheBetterCanary: lol
TheBetterCanary: also i knew you were still using my account get off you bitch
~
TheBetterCanary: nothing is more painful when you send your friend a meme and they tell you theyve already seen it
DeadHood: You kicked me in the dick less than five hours ago.
TheBetterCanary: it’s what it’s
Daylightwing: The one time you use proper grammar and its for THIS.
SignalOfficial: You are a menace to society
~
DeadHood: Sometimes I think about grabbing Canary by the ankles and flipping her upside down to see how many knives fall out of her clothes.
TheBetterCanary: you could just ask
DeadHood: Would you lie?
TheBetterCanary: i mean sure but youd get further away from the knives you want to know about so badly quicker if youre not actively touching me when i get them out
~
TheBetterCanary: out of gotham for the first time in ages and i hate it it feels weird where is the crime
SpoilerAlert: be the change you want to see in the world
TheBetterCanary: youre so right bestie
TheBetterCanary: alright who snitched to superman
Supes: I thought you were kidding about the cross thing.
~
TheBetterCanary: i sent a lois lane x superman fic to clark kent as an april fools joke and he was super sweet about it and said i had talent as a writer so mr kent if you see this im sorry
~
TheBetterCanary: in this thread i will give absolute proof that the bats and the waynes are the same
TheBetterCanary: bruce and batman both have an ungodly amount of kids like bruce even managed to find another kid despite all of the orphanages getting bombed this year thats some devotion
TheBetterCanary: richard and nightwing are both traitors that moved to bludhaven enough said
*Liked by Daylightwing*
TheBetterCanary: barbara gordon is oracle because they both scare me
TheBetterCanary: i will not joke about the death of jason todd his passing was a tragedy that still affects gotham to this day
TheBetterCanary: tason jodd however is totally red hood i mean who else could be that dorito shaped
TheBetterCanary: cassandra and black bat could both beat my ass and i would thank them
TheBetterCanary: timothy and red robin both have a sickly victorian boy vibe to them
TheBetterCanary: stephanie and spoiler both appreciate riddler and i can appreciate that
TheBetterCanary: duke and signal are both the token and the best of all of their families
TheBetterCanary: damian and robin both have way too many fucking pets like they could work together and form a zoo and i dont think anything would even be missing
TheBetterCanary: honorary mention to the butts match of course
~
TheBetterCanary: fuck i forgot that it was eds turn to cook
TheBetterCanary: @/ScareCrane please bring some mcdonalds home please
RiddleMeThis: When I found you, you regularly went dumpster diving for food.
TheBetterCanary: doesnt mean i dont have standards
~
RiddleMeThis: @/ScareCrane Remember when @/TheBetterCanary heard someone yell about how “she has a strap!” and complained about how they shouldn’t “have that stuff out in public”, only to turn around and realize it was a gun?
TheBetterCanary: im still not sorry for implying your food is worse than literal trash
~
Canaryfanclub: please i just want her to date me
TheBetterCanary: sorry i dont know if my boyfriend would like that
Canaryfanclub: YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND??????
TheBetterCanary: unfortunately his swagless charm has captivated me
~
TheBetterCanary: fuck the stupid fucking bats infected me with their even stupider fucking morals oh my god
DeadHood: Weak. I’ve been resisting for years. It took you, what, a couple of months around them to fall for their morals?
TheBetterCanary: im going to blow up your base
DeadHood: In Minecraft or in real life?
DeadHood: Fuck. It was Minecraft.
DeadHood: I spent hours making that mansion!
TheBetterCanary: trust me i know
~
TheBetterCanary: @/BrucieWayne i have your kids
BrucieWayne: What do you want for them?
TheBetterCanary: donate half a billion to arkham reforms
BrucieWayne: Oh no. I have no choice but to meet her demands.
~
TheBetterCanary: vigilantes dont want you to know this but muscles actually dont constantly look like that unless youre constantly flexing and they definitely dont show through layers of kevlar
TheBetterCanary: which means that they choose to have abs on their costumes
TheBetterCanary: i can hear the fangirls crying from here
~
TheBetterCanary: lol
Yummmmmm: Oh god what did you do
TheBetterCanary: dont worry about it
Batman7: Where is Joker?
TheBetterCanary: he tripped and fell into a pocket dimension and i cant get him out but dont worry i got him one of those gerbil water feeders and some chips so hell live
Batman7: That doesn’t sound like an accident.
TheBetterCanary: never said it was one
~~~~~
(Back to Canary Masterlist)
#canary#maribat#timari#timinette#shutterbug#timmari#marinette dupain cheng#ladybug#tim drake#red robin#someone on discord jokingly said i had no sense of humor#and to prove it i took it seriously#so enjoy a funny social media au ig#its come out earlier than one might have expected#but to be fair i didnt expect this to come out yet either#this is 6969 words#it was an accident#but i love it
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Please, every Waka Wednesday you have me giggling, squealing, kicking my feet and like >:(
BRO I'M TRYING TO GET MY BOYFRIEND TO BELIEVE IM A DOM YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME
Okay okay but I'm currently in an apprenticeship for a body peircer and... Peircer Toshi as mentor. He wasn't really looking to mentor anyone until he saw how cute and sweet the newbie was. Everyone else at the studio wasn't interested or already had an apprentice and as soon as he saw your face fall he hopped on that real quick.
Of course you immediately were terrified of this 6' 2 mass of pure muscle but the way he stumbled through his greeting had heat pooling in your gut. You thanked him constantly for agreeing to help you out.
Another thing that some places require for a mentorship is that they to have at least a piercing or two. It doesn't matter if it's ears or anything but let's say that reader got them as a baby. Since they don't remember the pain, they want a new addition. Obviously, nipple piercings. Reader gets Toshi to do it and he can't help but feel his cock stir when he first sees you topless. Well, not topless but rather shirtless, your top was the one piercing you after all. (Hshjfjdkb why was this so funny to me)
Anyway, you finish your apprenticeship and get a job at the same place. One of the first clients wants a dick piercing and you're like "Wow, okay, sure." Since you've never done or seen it before you ask if the guy if you can have your mentor there to make sure you don't fuck up. They guy would rather you not botch it so he agrees obviously.
So Ushijima comes in and sees red when they guy bites his lip to suppress a moan when he sees your pretty little hand steadying his dick. When you're finished the guy thanks you, pays and leaves his number for you.
Ushijima is pissed. This rando thinks he has a shot with you? He must be joking. As the guy leaves you turn around and you can feel the hatred rolling off of Toshi. You ask him if he's alright and he tries his best to keep calm but he growls out "Just peachy."
A few more days go by an eventually he's like "fuck it" and asks you to dinner to congratulate working there for a week. The dinner goes great and an hour later, you find yourself fucked dumb against the wall but Toshi shows no signs of stopping even though you've already been pushed over the edge 3 times.
UGH, just possessive piercer Toshi brainrot.
(I'm gonna sign off with 🍠)
YOUR SECOND SENTENCE MADE ME CHOKE ON MY OREOS WHEN I READ IT 💀💀💀 my apologies hehehhehehe 😁
OKAY BUT LISTEN
the scene from 1:03 to 1:30 IS ALL I CAN THINK OF WHEN ANONS SHOW UP WITH SPICY THINGS LIKE THIS FJSJJFJD
i swear to god, phoebe is yall coming into my inbox and telling me the scenario thats SO FUCKING GOOD and im rachel and im just like "whO IS THIS?? 😫😫"
anyways omg i love talking about piercer!toshi, ill talk about piercer!toshi until i die, i love that everybody has been so on board with him being a piercer since i wrote that fic hehehehe
also PUHLEEEEAASE become a regular in my ask box, omg, i wanna be your friend based on this entire thing alone 🤸🏻♀️🤸🏻♀️
just a reminder for everyone, this is NOT linked to "breathe in, breathe out"! only similarity is toshi is a piercer!
more thoughts under the cut (female reader, a smidge of dacryphilia, jealous toshi, kinda rough sex?, hair pulling)
It's your job.
It's not like he caught you fucking the guy on the table.
At least that's what Wakatoshi is trying to tell himself right now while he's absolutely wrecking your shit.
He can't help it though. All he can still see is you holding some other guy's dick in your hand.
He knows he probably should feel bad right now, because you're hiccuping and sobbing and begging him to give you a minute because your legs can't stop trembling as they're locked up and near his chest because he's held you there for so long.
He knows he probably should let you down and let you rest.
You look so fucking cute though all whiney and sobby like this.
He isn't a monster though.
So he lets you down.
And you think you're in the clear - maybe you can finally rest on his bed, maybe you can ride him a little bit, let him relax--
But no, he's far from done.
You yelp when he spins you around, bending you over so fast that your hands fly out to catch yourself so you don't fall right into the wall.
Wakatoshi groans low as he pushes his thick cock back deep inside you, and he shuts his eyes as your walls clamp down around him.
You stay still like that, wondering what he's going to do next.
You shiver when his hand reaches up and grabs a fistful of your hair, pulling on it hard to get you to lift your head to look up at him.
And he sees it in your eyes.
Sees how you like it rough like this.
He doesn't see that guy anymore.
#ushijima smut#ushijima#HEHEHEHE I AM ON A FUCKING ROLL TODAY WOOOOOO!!!!!!#😠: rae's wakatoshi wednesdays#rae's wakatoshi wednesday august 10 2022#🎤: 🍠 anon is recording vocals#🎶: here comes the queue
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Sunrise Sunset Leak Summary
MY...GOD.
We open with Dadszlo wondering wtf is up with his surly teenager. He tries to tell Colin to pick up his toys etc and Colin sasses him and leaves his headphones on.
We see Dadszlo and Guillermom having tea discussing the puberty issue, and Nandor playing a book reader, barely partaking in whats going on. We see Laszlo having playdates for Colin and comforting him when a kid broke the rules...but hes like a full grown man acting like a kid lol. Guillermo tries to teach him how to play baseball to no avail.
Our opening credits are Dadszlo melancholy singing Sunrise Sunset while watching his angry teen son. We see a bunch of pics of him and baby Colin from the past year incl formal portrait shots and everything and my heart literally broke.
At the club nothing has gone well. They tried vampire rap battles but vampires are too volatile, improv group but vampires dont get improv ‘cuz its not funny’, bachelorette parties, horror house tours (with a human remarking the sire is just a cheap costume off amazon) and finally basically vampire chuck e cheese.
Back at home Nandor says they cant talk to Colin cuz they arent speaking the jive, the slang kids respond to. He goes to try this, finding Colin bashing in the basement (Laszlo calls it his healthy angry release) and he humors Nandor but makes the jerk off motion when he turns around to leave.
Back at the club PT Barnum is there and Nadja is like I am pretty sure hes dead. Guide is like nah hes a vampire...then its revealed they have the 2nd largest collection of human souls in the US (translator cut off at who has the 1st). The souls dissolve back into the bottles after 24hrs and the Guide has learned how to revive them for that time with witchcraft. So of course they decide to reviva Scott Joplin inventor of ragtime (who they fan girl over).
Back at home Colin is in trouble...he stole Sean’s car. And hes sassing his parents. Sean is trying to help and its just pure screaming. Sean says they should duke it out, Guillermo says fuck no thats the worst idea. Colin apologizes and says maybe he can help Sean drag his car out of the pound. As they leave his eyes glow and his parents realize yeah hes an energy vampire again and Laszlo will have to tell him.
Back the club Scott is playing while the girls plan, they think about bringing back Diamond Jim Brady before concluding they could revive people from history and host it as a one off night. It...doesnt go great. Most of the people Nadja picked dont speak english and no one showed up anyway.
Back at home Laszlo tells Colin and Colin is like why didnt you tell me before? Laszlo’s explanation while saying how great he is is that he didnt want to limit Colin. Colin says god dammit and Laszlo winces. He starts saying God and Christ til Laszlo is writhing and runs from the room upset.
Meanwhile Guillermo is realizing since hes almost grown and Nandor made his bf run off with his clone hes basically an empty nester. Nothing ever gets better but it never changes. He’ll always have something to do but it’ll be like being a hamster in a wheel, you never get any farther along.
Guillermo checks in on Nandor after literally giving up on cleaning. Asks if hes okay cuz hes been kinda quiet lately. Nandor is still reading. He says yeah Im kinda glad for the loneliness, the quiet time after dealing with Mawra. And Guillermo is like so you just wanted the wedding and now your done you dont care if anything ever changes? Nandor is like I dont have time to look back lol. Years pass no biggy. Guillermo is like then what then? Nandor says well you’ve noticed I’ve gotten back to my reading. For how long? Oh 15-20 years we’ll see.
After Nadja’s second history night bombs (Guillermo listening 11 times made them .06 cents lol) She puts the wraiths on a bus for universal orlando for a ‘vacation’ (minions?) and then sets the club on fire...only to find out later that the actual club didnt burn cuz the blood sprinklers finally worked but her OFFICE WITH HER MONEY DID. She blames this on blood liquor.
Meanwhile Colin got back to hammering and found a box. The box had a slide. The slide led to 4 spots on the wall that when hit reveal a hidden closet and archive. They of course end that on a fart noise. When we see him next hes full fledged adult baldy colin.
He acts like nothing is amiss and the whole fam is shocked. Nandor asks is that really him? Colin is like um yeah why? Laszlo asks does he remember speaking/singing in a childish voice at the wedding etc. He takes that to mean Sean’s pillow sale party and does the Jar Jar voice. Colin unaware of what the fuck has gone on says he’ll pay to restore the wall he busted out and anything else that needs done (they have over half a mil in the bank).
Colin brings in contractors and tells them what to do. He asks Laszlo what to do with the race car bed. Laszlo says it was yours dont u remember? Colin says no Ive never slept in a racecar bed in my life. Laszlo says dont u remember the last year? Me singing while looking at your baby pictures? How I raised you? Nope he just remembers his funny tummy at the birthday party and then now. Laszlo seems devastated but tries not to show it.
The ep ends with Guillermo taking his money duffel bag (he never revealed to Nadja) and offering it to Derrick to turn him into a vampire cuz if he doesnt change something nothing will. The way he talks (could be jammed with the translator) he seems to be acting like he will not come back cuz he tells the crew they can use his room for storage if they want to. He leaves at daylight so none of the vampires know. After asking Derrick it cuts the end. Finished with the entire group singing Sunrise Sunset over the credits.
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dts s3 e1-3
e1:
-i'm glad that i /have/ seen lawrence stroll outside of his businessman mode (chloes wedding pictures came to mind) because i'm SURE he's a kind n lovely guy but holy cow
-otmar has littlefingercore advisor to the king energy. i'll say it.
-lance is very adorable bbgirl here if i became a fan in 2020 i would've been easily convinced
-lando is so LIL im so excited to see more of him~
-[lando squeals] subtitle is always so funny to me. print that on a t shirt
-the pink mercedes drama is So Juicy 2 me i wish i was there 2 see it
-this poor mclaren man trying to spoonfeed lando pr friendly sentences
-cash is king? cash is king. is SO iconic 2 me. the sport is not the same w/o sewis
e2:
-christian wants to fuck toto soooooo bad its embarrassing its the end of a multimonth quarantine and ur like when can i tease my work enemy again?? embarassing
-the urge to put alex getting deepthroated by that covid swab in my next gifset lmaooooooo
-favorite part of christian/toto dynamic is christian will talk SOOOO much shit in front of the camera but when hes talkin to toto he's like *head craned up at a 50 degree angle* hey how ya doin
-first time i watched this "DAS" as an acronym threw me off So Bad bc it's also used to describe a tetris playstyle (delayed auto shift). still really throws me off alkdjfaklsdjskjla
-HI MICHELLE YEOH'S HUSBAND
-"against a mercedes team that is so strong, so dominant, you have to exploit every opportunity you possibly can" hi christian i hope you respect this mindset when the tables are turned! (he wont)
-love lando celebrating his p3 start (face down ass up)
-being hyped up abt a potential first alex win while knowing how it ends is PAINFUL
-also contextualizes alex's anger around checo only getting a 5 second penalty in singapore this year, and hes right!!! its not fucking enough
-lando's first podium is so SO special tho!! and netflix do an amazing job with it with the shots of the garage going nuts and the music swelling its just incredible
-and the contrast with alex's missed podium is so well done narratively. another very great episode from a writing/editing standpoint
e3:
-age old mercedes driver right of passage: listening to lewis sing next door
-having watched the brawn docuseries now--i think there are some interesting parallels between valtteri&lewis vs rubens&michael. theyre very different people but how many others have had that experience with a teammate like that?
-always LOVE the bits with valtteri in finland my soul yearns for scandanavia
-BROCEDES INTERLUDE AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
-i do like these lil bits about time penalties explained in episodes because before watching races you really underestimate how much they can effect races. i'm looking forward to seeing netflix continue to use these instances for drama (especially season 4 max v lewis 👀)
-TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN. FUCK YOU
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ok uhh okay. spiderverse 2 thoughts. in bullet points for the sake of my churning brain cuz im just not rly sure how i feel abt it rn. like it was a good movie? i enjoyed it it was fast paced i didnt realize 2+ hours went by which also segues into my first thought but like. yeah i have thoughts.
first of all that was like a super weird ending decision to make it a part 1 of 2. zero warning for that. and i sat in that theater till credits bcuz i genuinely thought i was being punked and the movie was going to finish, bcuz it did not at all feel like a place to stop for the movie. it ends like right before the climax?? yes they really. extended themselves damn far for this one and it would be a lot to tie up in like another 45 minutes of movie but also like you couldve done it.. i really dont. understand. like ppl just sat in the movie theater like wait is it done. theyre ending it here? for real? like it wasnt the kind of ending you expect from this movie
animation was obviously gorgeous and insane i dont even need to talk about what eye candy it was. the different styles all together the fight scenes ugh so good yeah yeah everyone knew it would be a trip
rly cannot stress enough what a Direction this sure was. i dont like say it as crit necessarily just like. did they over extend. maybe. they sure Extended. i would expect this maybe for a third movie not a second but they were clearly trying to blow the first one out of the water. it was just.. a lot looser. it needed to be tighter. i dont know what theyre planning for the 3rd movie but i really did not like. vibe with that ending decision
they changed peni’s design slightly and gave her a cooler mech so thats nice. maybe they listened 2 criticisms abt that
i cant decide how i feel abt a lot of the dialogue tbh it rly wasnt my thing a lot of the time like. the changing writers were kind of.. obvious. and there was a LOT of dialogue bcuz this movies purpose seems to be a very Character Driven story to prepare for the next? like theyre TRYING to say stuff thats for sure. also it was rly quippy in a way that i feel has gotten kind of tired with dialogue writing like SOME dialogue was genuinely funny and good to me like i wouldnt say it was BAD or something (some of it was bad.) it was just.. noticeably different? the tone for this movie was changed from the first which again isnt bad youre telling a different story it was just Different yeah. some things i rly thought couldve been handled like with more subtlety.
i guess we only had one movie with the original cast but some stuff just like i personally was sitting there trying to figure out if it felt in character or not. its rly hard to explain if u havent watched it i think and maybe im just crazy i dunno. im absolutely not opposed to making ur characters fuck up and make mistakes but like. huh. i guess. i would not expect otherwise from gwen bcuz shes a teenager but i was.. surprised that peter was going along with it like ? hes a middle aged man lol he wasnt like taken advantage of or manipulated in any way. not like they were trying to say that w the like spider group anyway, like i dont think they were tryingto say gwen was necessariyl taken advantage of or anything, like they werent trying to make them read as ‘evil’ if anything just like wow these ppl sure have Problems they are going thruogh. but like still? im not invested in peters character even it just felt kind of weird. miles went fucking through it too like jesus christ im still trying to wrap my brain around all this it sure does feel like theyre putting these ppl thru comic book trauma
what i went through emotionally wheni realized they were going to do Dark Miles i dont even mean that as criticism or anything its just a bold move man. buti was sitting there like yeah of course they would. hope they make it work
i dunno i probably have more thoughts im just kind of like sitting here lol like what a weird decision. if they hadnt ended it like that i probably would have my thoughts more tied together bcuz the movie itself wasnt tied up?? so its kind of hard to even like think through everything on one watch
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typing my nightly essay to u but for the second time tonight cus I lost the last one 👎👎🙁 (also i never wanna overstep boundaries and most of these that I send u are soft so if ur not comfy with this type of thing/this sorta explicit language or imagery pls let me know lovely:))
ok hear me out - cam girl who doesn’t get fully nude. if ur lucky she might not wear a bra. but it’s all abt the frustration/tease of it all. so when aegon sends his gift (the one that has suction cup and balls cus the fucker ‘wants you to feel every position that u want’ from him) you decide to take full advantage.
you big it allll up, make sure to tease with visuals like showing it off to the camera, saying how excited you are to use it, that ur already so wet :) and you’ve been stretching out to take it for everyone :)) and that u just can’t wait to show them all and for them to be so proud, and seeing as it’s a special night, you tease and say that maybbeeee.. u could take ur bra off too! :) as a treat!! :)) but as ur taking it off, u ‘accidentally’ knock the camera a bit, so u can’t see past ur bellybutton anymore, and ur nose is revealed. and u start using it. and all they can do is watch ur head tilt back and listen and see ur chest move as u start bouncing.
aegon and daemon are going CRAZZZYYYY. they can hear it so loud but they can’t see it? nononononono they’re feverishly typing in chat. pulling on their hair cus they won’t admit that they’re desperate but for the first time ever, they are in the same boat.
aemonds like, sorta impressed? like wow the extent of brattiness that u can reach is sorta turning him on. when he types in chat that ur being bratty and u let ur eyes glance over it just to see if ur getting a fuelled reaction from everyone, you just end up whining out as if he’s being genuinely mean like, im using it and making myself feel good like u all said, doesn’t it look so good?? don’t i??? it’s getting my favourite bedding all sticky and it’s almost too slippy but this is what u wanted to see right??? 🥺🥺
jace, my desperate little man, completely falls for this whole thing. furiously typing in chat after chat and it’s so funny cus every two seconds it’s a “you accidentally moved ur camera away :o” or “you knocked ur camera!! :((“ or smthn. he’s that type lmaoooo
nyras hand is over her mouth and she’s deep breathing cus this is so fuckin hot. it is. she tips u like a grand cus this?? yea this is getting her going. change ur technique/pattern of ur hips and get some new noises out too and she’s borderline whiteing.
alicent is so gone bro. that religious guilt is straight out the window cus she’s got her laptop balanced where she can still see it, and she’s just fucking going for it. like, she ofc wants to see it too, but the noises that make her imagine how wet u are and the noises that ur mouth is making too?? how u look??? MORE than enough for her to get too hot under the collar. when she’s.. done.. and ur still going, doesn’t even log off straight away and she definitely is too riled up to just be one and done. goes again. idk abt the other characters but this?? yea she ain’t even typing she is OCCUPIED lmaoooooooo (maybe other characters r doing similar things but we move)
maybe when ur done and ur getting ready to say Goodnight, you slip in a little “i think I’m gonna stay on it for a while, it’s stretched me out so good and it feels kinda nice :)” with ur arm now covering ur chest bc post-orgasm shyness 🙏🙏 all sweet and shit, chat starts going wild and u read over it all and feign guilt like “omg im so sorry i didn’t realise!! ive never felt that good before i was in my own world im so sorry!!” laying it on THIQUUUEEEE. so u have the bright idea, and ur like “:// well okay maybe i won’t stay on it any longer then” and then ur like. as an apology. I’ll suck it instead :)) suck my taste off it for u all :)) play with it a little before bed :)))
so u stick it to the wall and let chat decide if ur allowed to use ur hands, or if ur allowed to touch urself bc u just feel sooooo bad 🥺🥺
before ur final goodnight, u slip in a lil “next time, u guys can choose the position i take it in cus i don’t wanna repeat of what happened tonight to ever happen again im so sorry :((“ all coy like hmmm. couple of em definitely get u to say ur apologies mid suck, have to address ‘mommy/daddy’. maybe as consolation u promise to do one live dedicated to a request of em all to make up for it <33
GIRL I YOU ARE BRILLIANT
FEEL FREE TO SEND IN STUFF LIKE THIS WHENEVER YOU WANT I HAVE NO BOUNDARIES LMFAOOOOOOOOOO
but omg Jace being the one who believes it im ga;odgioasdghoisdghaog[hriorgnwrg
aemond deadass calling her bratty?? ICONIC!!!!!!!
YOUR MIND IS IMPECCABLE!!!!!!!
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