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#listen i thought this was funny
arthurhonda · 10 months
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Japan: Have you seen my T? (Testosterone) England: In the kitchen like it always is? Could you get me one too while you're in there love? Japan: Wrong tea, but sure, Black, Green, or Herbal?
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"I didn't know you needed glasses."
Stardew Valley WriteTober Day 5 (Prompt List)
Under the heavy fluorescent JojaMart lights, Abigail’s glare seemed like something out of a horror movie. “Yes, I need glasses. Happy now? Don’t you have some shelves to stock?”
“Calm down.” Sam laughed, a hint of cruel irony to the sound. “If I wanted to blackmail you, I’d tell your dad you were here.” He leaned his chin on the mop handle, grinning not unlike a Cheshire Cat. “So do you normally walk around blind or do you have contacts?”
“Ugh.” She moved past Sam to find the spicy chips. The mop bucket squealed behind her, and she knew he wasn’t going to drop the question easily. Well, she wasn’t going to answer him easily, so joke’s on him. 
“I’ve known you for over ten years and this is the first time I've seen you with glasses.” Sam remarked. “Are they new? Or did you just sleep in contacts every time you and Seb slept over?”
“That’s terrible for your eyes, numbnuts.”
“Ha! So you do have contacts.”
She rolled her eyes, fully intending to grab her chips and leave. But as he reached the place where they should be, she found the shelf empty. Her backup chip, spicy ranch flavor, was also out of stock.
“Ah darn. Guess I forgot to stock them. I could check in the back for you, loyal JojaMart customer.” She didn’t have to turn around to guess the stupid grin that was probably on his face. She let out an angry sigh, staring at the fluorescent lights above them as though the chips she wanted would simply fall from the sky. 
“I’ve needed glasses since 8th grade. Usually I wear contacts. I got color-changing contacts from a catalog and they burned my eyes. Doctor says I have to wear my glasses until they heal. Are you happy now?” She turned on him, wishing her catastrophic contacts had given her heat vision. Instead, she merely glared at him through her obnoxiously thick lenses. 
Sam laughed at her, holding his hands up in surrender. “Okay, all right, I’ll go get your chips for you.”
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depressedwetnapkin · 2 years
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Gallagher characters reacting to someone coming out but it's based off that one TikTok sound
Bex: You're gay?
Cammie: You're gay.
Townsend: You're one of them queers?
Joe(or Liz): You're girly pop
Catherine: *Various rabid animal noises*
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clown-owo · 10 months
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been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading
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kittykalliarts · 4 months
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For decades, the blank vision that Iudex Neuvillette wears near his heart has been subject to much discussion in Fontaine. Nobody remembers who it had once belonged to or why the ancient dragon protected it so jealously. It is said that if the Chief Justice would to stare at it for a long while, it would be sure to rain right after. Oh, how beloved that person must've been.
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crow-n-tell · 1 year
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HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT
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awkwardpossum0 · 14 days
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eff-plays · 6 months
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turtleblogatlast · 3 months
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Big Mama must have lost some serious standing in the yokai underworld because it’s gotten apparent that she keeps being beaten by a small group of teenagers and the occasional rat man, and when it’s not them then she’s taking L’s from her own schemes working against her.
And in the ensuing power vacuum, the Hamatos accidentally become the most feared crime family known to all the big bads of the Hidden City.
After all, they’ve publicly outplayed Big Mama multiple times, a couple of them have taken out the heads of two of the most well known criminal organizations, one took out Heinous Green, two are responsible for the destruction of Witch Town, they have ties to both the infamous Baron Draxum and Captain Piel, they won the Doom Dome death race, they’re Battle Nexus Champions, they’ve displayed insane feats of power and defeated impossibly strong enemies, most of them have been to jail, and they regularly mingle with humans.
You can just imagine the notoriety they’d accumulate from word of mouth alone.
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leo-bandito · 15 days
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moar hl scraps…. does a pose
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essektheylyss · 5 months
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“Your delinquent child is outside, and I have assured him that he is very, very grounded.”
Between Yeza and the campers still waiting for their parents to arrive from around the coast to collect them, Veth wasn’t sure any of them saw her move between the dining room and the foyer before she’d thrown the front door open.
Outside, Caleb held Luc by the back of the vest, neither of them looking any worse for wear. Behind them, Jester and Fjord looked a bit sheepish, though not nearly as sheepish as her son, who had almost curled into himself beneath the venomous look she’d given him.
“I thought you were dead! You're never leaving this house again! I couldn't get in contact with anyone and I thought you were fucking dead!” she screeched, before any of them could move, but Luc almost kept pace with her, slipping from his godfather’s grasp and, to her surprise, likely to the others’ surprise as well, threw his arms around her.
“I’m sorry, Mom, I should’ve listened to you, I’ll stay grounded for as long as you want—“
Veth spluttered for a moment, though her arms wrapped around him in return. This had not been how he’d returned under Kingsley’s grasp, caught by the ear and cursing up a storm.
It took a long moment to realize that Luc was trembling beneath her grasp. Very faintly, but definitely trembling.
She looked over his shoulder at Caleb, then Fjord and Jester. “There have been… several lessons learned in the past thirty-six hours,” Caleb said, his tone even stonier than his expression.
Fjord nodded slightly in agreement, carrying the weight of agreement. Her grasp on her son tightened, and she kissed his hair. Her sharp tone felt empty and hollow even to her own ears.
“Don’t you ever run away again— Don’t you know what I’d do if you were killed—“
“I know, Mom,” Luc interrupted, and for the first time in weeks— months— a long fucking time— he didn’t sound petulant.
He sounded like her boy.
“I kept him safe,” Caleb said flatly, also without any defensiveness. There was, even for Caleb, a dark flame behind his eyes. It felt like a spark she hadn’t seen in quite a few years.
“He was very particular about it,” Jester agreed, and then, in a poorly-disguised whisper, “Trent.”
Veth’s grip tightened, and she pulled Luc aside, away from the doorway. “Come in, tell me all about it—“ she pulled back and checked him over as Caleb nodded and passed inside. “You’re all in one piece, you’re alright—?”
“Yeah, Mom,” he agreed, with exhaustion. “Uncle Deuce made sure we were all in one piece.”
Jester pouted as she passed. “I also made sure you were okay, alright, but Caduceus is so helpful, you know, and honestly, in the end, it wasn’t even that bad— we saved most of the town, and we had a great party, and—“
She stopped her rambling in the middle of the doorway and clapped both hands to her mouth as Luc ducked under both of them into the house.
“Oh. My. Gods, Veth, you will not believe— Fjord proposed to me—“
With the number of things Jester had just imparted to her, it was honestly a testament to her own intelligence that Veth managed to process them in time to turn to Fjord just as he started up the steps, stopping him in his tracks.
“You what? And I missed it—?!”
"You know, Jester, I think we can let Caleb debrief the Brenatto family alone—"
She had him by the ear before he could move, which was an impressive feat considering he was over half her height, but he was almost as slippery of a bastard as she was.
Within an instant, he'd turned to mist in her grasp and vanished to the other side of the street, Jester complaining behind her all the while. Veth shrieked after him. "You piece of shit!"
In response, he yelled, "That's soon-to-be Admiral Tusktooth-Lavorre to you!"
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spiderzlover · 5 months
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"All I wished for was another Splatfest win..."
- Frye the Skullsquid💀
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soadscrawl · 8 days
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i feel very strongly about keiths music taste.
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royaltea000 · 1 year
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Frodo smoking behind the camera rn 
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nightgoodomens · 6 months
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Fan: Whatcha listening to
Michael Sheen: 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
*cracks knuckles*
Oh look it’s a SCOTTISH album with what looks like 1941’s CROWLEY on the cover and it’s about LOVE AND LOSS AND STARRED EYES
ALSO HERE IS A SONG CALLED CROWLEY
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year
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This is the start of something new
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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