Tumgik
#ling is much more of a cunning asshole he just plays the fool much better
moth-time · 2 years
Text
You know what I love? That pretty much any constellation of Greed Lives AUs is going to be absolutely hilarious. A fucking riot. A blast. Shenanigans central.
1. Greed lives, remains hitched to Ling's body.
They now both have to deal with the fact that they quite like each other, actually, and also that Greed tried to die for Ling. Ling is mad. Greed is having an identity crisis. They have to sort their shit out while sharing a braincell AND get their asses back to Xing AND not get assassinated on the way there. Priceless.
Also, once they sort each other out, the absolute comedic chaos of having an Emperor of Xing who is quite literally being possessed by a demon? Amazing. Everybody hates it, except Greed and Ling who are having the time of their life. Greed and Ling work together quite beautifully when it comes to politics, kind of a good cop/bad cop vibe going. They also bicker like an old married couple. The palace staff is terrified of getting eaten until they eventually figure out that the demon is the nicer one of the two, actually. Sometimes Greed gets bored of politics and kidnaps the Emperor. Everyone can always tell which of them is in control until they can't, bc hitchhiking inside a body for long enough gives you a very good grip of your buddy's mannerism. Lan Fan starts going grey at like, nineteen.
2. Greed lives, gets his original body back.
A lot of yelling at first, Ling is mad and now he can actually give Greed the silent treatment. Both of them cope very poorly with not having someone on the backburner at all times. Greed is having an identity crisis (bis). They eventually work it out, possibly with some help from Lan Fan who is already Done with their shit after the first hour.
And then, you know. They make up, make out, go to Xing, shenanigans ensue. Again, the Xingese court has no idea how to deal with this random foreigner the new Emperor brought with him. They have absolutely no concept of physical boundaries between the two of them bc they were literally sharing a body for a good long while, and are all over each other all the time and don't fucking seem to realize. Like, the Emperor (whom no one else is allowed to approach unless they want Lan Fan's knife in their guts) just holds court with this Amestrian monster draped halfway across his lap, making disparaging comments about his ministers. Greed loudly declares that he owns the Emperor and thus the entire Empire and does not get executed for it. Everyone assumes they are boning, which is funny if they are and even funnier if they aren't. Sometimes Greed gets bored and kidnaps the Emperor. Lan Fan goes grey even earlier.
3. Greed lives, gets a duplicate of Ling's body.
Same as above but with added ridiculousness, and bonus everyone can tell which is which until they can't, because again, sharing a body for long enough gives you an uncanny grip on your better worse half's body language and mannerism. Ling grows like 5cm taller than Greed bc he wasn't done growing when they got merged and he's catching up. Greed is extremely pissed about it. Greed does all of Ling's accounting work because it turns out he really loves numbers and Ling hates it. Ling does all the diplomatic shit unless subtlety won't cut it anymore in which case Greed takes over. The rumor mill outside the palace cannot decide whether the Emperor is possessed, has a secret twin, a demonic double, or some really strange mood swings. This is not helped by the fact that Greed sometimes kidnaps the Emperor to go get piss-drunk in the city. They still have no boundaries between the two of them and it weirds everyone out. Lan Fan is So Done.
190 notes · View notes