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#lila talks
lilactulipa · 2 days
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My autism diagnosis changed how I perceived my life, and I have still not recovered from the repercussions of it. Not in a bad or good way. Just in a reflective way.
I used to think drawing was my top passion and priority, and that being an artist was my destiny. When I was at school, I drew A LOT. ALL THE TIME. I wouldn't doubt that I have more than a hundred sketchbooks.
But once I got home, my will to draw faded a lot. Sometimes I straight up forced myself to it, because "it was my destiny".
Once I reflected on my diagnosis, I understood that I didn't draw because I adored it. I drew to survive in school. School was not my home, not my room, I was forced to socialize and be judged, often by teachers who didn't understand me and traumatized me. If I poured my mind, heart and soul into drawing, I could try to escape it. It was like putting a bandage over an open wound.
Home was sanctuary, not the school nightmare, so I didn't NEED to draw. I found myself just relaxing.
It's not that I don't ENJOY drawing, and I'm arguably kinda good at it. It's just that it's not the written in stone dream I thought it was.
Trauma and coping mechanisms were what confused me.
I wanted to share this because it's HUGE and it explains a lot about what I'm currently experiencing. I know I have been absent, it's been a phase that's been taking long to pass and I dread it, but it's because I've been realizing those things. I spent my life forcing myself to fit in. It was like a full-time job. It's like I'm now finally on vacation.
I've been spending this "vacation" by spending more time with my family and more time taking care of myself: I've been exercising and losing weight AND chasing serotonin while at it, I've been taking care of my hair and skin, I've been allowing myself to just play relaxing videogames in my spare time.
There's also the fact that fandom spaces changed. They were simpler back then, but now there's so many insane judgment that it's hard to just produce content or enjoy it anymore without people (often minors, which boggles my mind, because they seem to wear "minor" as a badge of honor, when back when I was a minor I hid it and lurked) demanding that you DO THIS exact thing and DON'T do THIS exact thing or you're "problematic" and should fucking die.
Anyway, sorry for all of this text, but I wanted to put my thoughts in order and also felt like I owned an explanation to my friends as to why I'm STILL on a semi-hiatus.
I don't know what the future will bring, and I'm not leaving. I'm just reeeeally going at my own pace now. I might suddenly feel an urge to draw and post it, I might spend a week offline, I dunno, anything could happen.
I'm just healing and understanding myself and taking one step at a time. And I'm very grateful for all your understanding ❤️ I love you all!
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scientistuchuu · 11 months
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[IMAGE: An assortment of papers scattered on a desk. The text is too low resolution to read the specific words but the logos of various associations like the Aether Foundation and Interpol can still be made out. Lila’s hand holding a pen just barely out of the shot.]
Oh, joy. Paperwork.
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saturnrin · 7 months
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I love the idea that everything (positive) that Lila lies about somehow comes true for Marinette.
Lila lies about having connections to the queen of England? Suddenly, Marinette is getting regular commissions from the queen herself and forms quite the acquaintance-ship w the royal family.
Lila "is practically family" to an Italian mafia? Marinettes grandmother has quite an eccentric background, and through her, Marinette somehow manages to get a local Italian Mafia to pseudo-adopt her. (Only because she refused to actually be adopted, much to their disappointment)
Lila "went on tour" with Jagged Stone? Guess who wants his favorite designer to accompany him for his U.S. tour during the summer?
Oh, Lila says she acted in a movie for Graham de Vanily Films? Guess who ends up accidentally staring in a Graham de Vanily film?
I just want all the positive things that Lila lies about to happen to Marinette, who is sufficiently surprised every time (you'd think she'd be used to it by now), meanwhile, in the background, Lila gets progressively more pissed.
And the worst part? Every time she tries to upstage Marinette with something even bigger and grander than Marrinettes' own accomplishments? No matter how ridiculous, Marinette somehow ends up stumbling upon That. Exact. Opportunity.
It's incredibly frustrating.
You could say Marinette has some miraculous luck, despite how adamantly Tikki denies any involvement in these increasingly ridiculous turns of events.
All in all; Lila is frustrated, Marinette is frustrated, and Tikki is very amused (as are Adrien and Plagg, who watch this shit-show from the background).
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nionom-art · 8 months
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A few people have been asking about my Miraculous Coccinella AU, wondering if I was still working on it. The short answer is yes.
The long answer is under the cut:
So. I’ve been working on this au for a long time now. It was kind of my passion project I was keeping under wraps due to the fact that I had a lot of fun plot twists in mind and all that jazz- you can kinda see some of those plot ideas in my character concept designs above. I have full scripts and even a comic page done for this au- however- I don’t think I’ll be working a lot on this in the near future. I love the story and designs I’ve come up with, but I’ve honestly just been more interested in other fandoms and stories recently, including one about my current ocs (they have become my obsession recently).
I’ve really hated season 5 of Miraculous in all honesty (the handling of Chloe, Luka, and Gabriel is quite honestly atrocious), and I haven’t had as much interest in this au as season 5 progressed as a result. I’ve been quite frankly falling out of love with the show, making my motivation to work on this project not as high. This coupled with the fact that I’ve been rather burnt out lately has resulted in me posting less often.
I guess what I’m saying is that while I might post a few things here and there for Miraculous Coccinella (and miraculous in general) I don’t think it will be frequent or a full blown project or anything. That being said, feel free to ask me any questions regarding this au- it was my baby for a while and it still kinda holds a place in my heart. Maybe one day I’ll do something with it, but for now, I’m going to keep it on the down low. Thanks for reading if you got this far, haha.
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ginsbergbutagirl · 7 months
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brittlebutch · 6 months
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truly the quintessential sibling interaction (and subsequent mother reaction) of all time
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skitkattl · 2 months
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you love it when it's about you, don't you?
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+ up close standalone portraits
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crowreys-wormstache · 5 months
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Seeing as we know Tula has omitted a ton of stuff and when it comes to my emotional wellbeing I trust Brennan Lee Hooligan about as far as I can throw him here's my speculation
Tula fully went into the snow to die. Maybe it was the same day she talked to Ava about Geoffrey's death. Maybe it was later. One of those cold winter days the pain just became too much. Or maybe it didn't until later maybe Tula just went out to clear her head and instead her thoughts spiralled.
She is so tired. Her husband died recently and it hurts so bad and her mother blames her for it and she has two wild little ones to raise more or less by herself and it's all just so heavy and she is so exhausted. And this particular mound of snow looks so enticing. So soft. It's not very warm but it's okay, Tula has her wintercoat, she'll just settle down for a moment. And she gets so, so sleepy. It seems like a lifetime ago since she last had a bit of time just to herself and it's so calm and peaceful out here, nothing like the Warren where there's the little ones to keep fed and Ava to placate and everyone else to guide and maybe just a little nap would make it all better.
Tula is smart. Tula knows the winter is uncaring. She knows that she can't sleep out here, because she might freeze. She might die.
But would death be so bad? Would it really? Geoffrey is dead, her own mother told her it's her fault she wasn't with him. She should have been with him, she should have died. And maybe if she dies now she'll see him again. Maybe Mama was right and she was meant to die with him. And so her eyes close and Tula drifts off to a sleep she expects to be eternal.
And it almost is. But then she sees her children's little snouts in her mind's eye. She sees their eyes, barely open at this point and she sees them looking at her with hurt and confusion. She sees Ava desperately trying to take care of them. She sees them growing up never knowing neither of their parents properly.
And Tula knows she can't let it happen. It almost seems to be too late but with sheer power of will and motherly love, Tula comes to and wills her heart to start pumping again. Wills her body to move and warm up and wills it back towards her warren.
Because Tula can't die now. Tula has a job to do.
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squishyimps · 19 days
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I hate to be the one to say it but why are they so nibble nibble nom nom?
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saznny · 5 months
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Fuck man im obsessed
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wyrd-syster · 2 years
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S3 was really…
Luther: the Himbofication
Diego: the DILFification
Allison: the Vilification
Klaus: the Reanimation
Five: the Can-I-Get-A-Vacation?
Ben: the Chadification
Viktor: the Sassification
Lila: the MILFification
….and honestly I live.
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scientistuchuu · 11 months
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[IMAGE: A tightly sealed container of purple sludge placed on a plastic table, shards of half-corroded chitin and exoskeleton can still be seen floating about. In the background, just out of focus; two people in what looks like armored hazmat gear observe a similar container of sludge.]
Since the Nihilego seems to be gone and everyone is returning back to their houses, please keep a look out for piles of sludge that look like the picture above.
We suspect that these are the remains of the Nihilego’s… uh, victims. If you have encountered one of these piles, please do not touch them and contact the DRL as soon as possible. We will send a task force to clean it up promptly. These piles are incredibly toxic and will quickly corrode most organic materials (skin, chitin, etc.).
If you made contact with one of those piles, please remain calm and go to the nearest hospital immediately.
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bodymachine · 1 year
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i think part of the reason that machines and obsolete pieces of technology are so viscerally interesting to us is because they remind us of our own bodies. things with buttons and levers and wires not only invite physical interaction (which is something beautiful and potentially radical in and of itself!!) but are easily anthropomorphized in that their heft and clunkiness elicit a sort of empathy in us. we realize that our bodies are not so different from machines, and it’s not because our bodies are sterile and cold and unfeeling, but because we all have these tangled insides and a desire to touch and to take up space in the world. we have such complicated relationships to our own bodies and we like tech that shows us how it can be touched and how it was assembled and how it can work and how it can fail. it is kind of body horror. it’s grotesque and erotic. we also realize that analog devices are being replaced and phased out of existence, and so there’s even more of an impulse to connect with them.
newer designs tend to emphasize sleekness and thinness and quiet and invisible parts and instantaneous results. i’ve heard of macbooks and iphones being described as sexy. they are not. a real sexy machine evokes the heat and weight and grittiness and entangledness of sex. so the condensing of functions into one tiny digital device and the storage of information in some invisible cloud and the forced reliance on a few entities that control the ‘progress’ of all that—as freeing as all of that can be in many ways that are worth considering, the implications for the future of our own bodily autonomy can definitely be frightening. i think that’s why it’s important to be intentional and interested in our physical interactions with any kind of object, but especially the old and the ordinary ones. to insist that they not become obsolete to us, and to insist on our ability to choose how they fit into our lives. that can be a sort of resistance to capitalism i think, that can start on the smallest level. that’s mostly what it boils down to, to me.
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legoyuri · 5 months
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The way will is comparatively is SO fucking nice to the women/girls in his life compared 2 lila haunts me... like he doesn't want to be this cruel and regurgitate his mothers words. but without his body those are no longer just his memories, but lilas too.
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the-carlos-cow-eyes · 2 months
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Okay, so since the new promo posters for The Umbrella Academy dropped today, here are my live thoughts and reactions from my Instagram story as I saw each poster:
AUGUST 8TH?? I AM SEATED. LET'S GO, VIKTOR!!
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I am soooo here for Luther without his gorilla body
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DIEGO HARGREEVES, MY BELOVED <3
(Also, the pink rust around his knife holsters?? What If his baby's a girl?? I'm on my MatPat shit rn)
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LILA HARGREEVES?!?! MY BELOVED!!!!
(DIEGO WIFED HER UP, I KNOW HE DID, OMGGGGG)
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She better redeem herself after all of the bullshit she pulled last season, Istfg-
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KLAUS WITH SHORT HAIR AGAIN?? I'M HERE FOR IT!!
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Okay, but which Ben Is this?? Is this gonna be Sparrow Ben or an alternate timeline version of Brelly Ben?? Either way, why do I feel like he's gonna fucking die again??😭
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Five fr looks like he's starting to actually dress his age, lmao
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UGHHHHH, HE NEEDS TO DIEEEEE
(I am curious to find out more about his home planet though. And maybe even see how he came to make Grace)
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Thank you, that Is all
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ginsbergbutagirl · 7 months
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something about how dennis always ends up revealing some sort of more-than-platonic feelings towards mac when he’s using an alias. “partners in real estate and partners in life” when he’s hugh honey. “i have sex with women but i’m emotionally involved with mac” when he’s brian lefevre. and the whole johnny,, thing. idk it’s 2 am i’m just spitballing but like. maybe,, that’s indicative of something??
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