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#like. a tragedy that works has these moments function both as 'there were other choices they could have made'
july-19th-club · 1 year
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merlin is so sickeningly full of 'there must have been a moment when we could have turned back but we missed it' moments it makes me lose my mind. it's not good but it's good . oh at this moment he could have trusted arthur enough to tell the truth and arthur would have been in a frame of mind to accept it but he is riddled with self-doubt and constantly warned by the authorities in his life to keep himself ot himself so he didn't. at this moment he could have told morgana he believed her and she would have had an ally in the castle but instead he listened to a scared old man and agreed to be complicit in her gaslighting, setting them both out on the road that ends with them as mortal enemies. at this moment he could have - and it's just like that for sixty five full episodes and every time i'm like oh this time he'll do the smart thing. this time he won't miss it. and then he misses it
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shitpostingkats · 2 years
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Epsilon, Carolina, and Parallel Character Arcs
To me, there are two lines that stick out from the freelancer collection. The culmination of the two characters that play center stage for the entirety of the duology, Epsilon and Carolina. Their stories wrap in two of my absolute favorite, gutpunching, and heartfelt lines of the entire show:
 "I forget you." 
and 
"Your past doesn't define who you are. It just gives you the starting point for who you're going to be." 
Epsilon and Carolina's quotes work in parallel to each other; on one hand, Church making the deliberate choice to lose the memory, to stop, for the sake of someone he cares about. He forgets. And Carolina, making the choice to hold that close, to move on, for the sake of herself. She remembers. 
What makes this absolutely fascinating is they’re following the same story, healing from the same pain. 
Red vs Blue is all about memory. Unabashedly, the show has been very vocal about its primary theme since the day they first decided to have actual writing. But one thing I think doesn't get enough attention is how this is carried over and represented in season 9, the season that flashes between the memory unit and PFL's early days. In Church, the usage is obvious: he's living in a memory, a projection of his old life. Might as well make it a good one. But the other side of the season is also a recollection. It's Carolina's memory. We get to see the good times, before things went wrong, before people died. We get to see the twins working in tandem, the team functioning. Carolina and York banter. Wash is still the goofy rookie. They drive through the city listening to music and crack jokes and show off. Sure, it shows the beginning of some of the tragedy to come, but the freelancer side of the season ends with a scene between Carolina and the director, saying 'this was the warmup. From now on, it will be serious.' 
Church and Carolina are both remembering their teams. The people they love. And how their lives got ruined by project freelancer. Those moments, those memories, are going to be the driving force and rage behind their team up, their quest for revenge. The idea that these people, this family, was hurt by one man and his stupid goals, is their shared trauma that leads to them being the driving force of the plot. 
Even in season 9, we see Church trying to hold on to his memories. To make sure he has all his facts right, that everything, down to the smallest detail, reflects real life. Eventually, he uses this for closure. He finds Tex, and sees the rage she's carrying in her. Not at what the director did. Honestly, she seems to be mostly over her past as Allison seeing as it, you know, wasn't her. But the same idea, that so many lives were lost, all for the sake of someone that wasn't her. That she didn't get to make her own choices. 
Same trauma, different result.
She sees Epsilon, trying so hard to remember, to hold on to everything, and she says "hey." She tells him off. She says ‘Even if these memories matter to you, holding on to them is hurting me.’ So Epsilon lets go. He decides that these memories aren't going to save anyone, they're just going to keep both of them from healing.
Tex was the reason Epsilon was even created. Like he says, "You were the memory. You were the key." 
Epsilon is memory. He's the key. And he choses to throw it away, so it can never be unlocked again. It's bittersweet but it isn't fair, her being brought back over and over, her very autonomy violated, for the sake of someone else’s story. 
And hey! That's another theme he shares with Carolina!
The idea that the stories we see in television, the ones guided by trauma, aren't always correct, because your pain doesn't mean you can hurt other people. And not in a "oh you want to Kill the person responsible for your trauma and that makes you a Bad Person and you will eventually have a Change of Heart." (Though that does, kinda, happen, buts it’s way more nuanced and well written and makes much more sense for their personal arcs than the stereotypical 'uwu murder is bad' trope.) No, Carolina and Church are never decried for their goals, for wanting to lash out or obsessively remember. They get called out when their ideals, the ones explicitly labeled 'noble' or 'romantic' by popular media, hurt the people who are trying to help them. Church compulsively follows Tex through layers of memories, chasing the girl he's determined to love. In any other story, that would be sweet. Carolina wants the director dead, wants the man who hurt her and her friends killed. In any other story, that would be heroic. But both of them get called out for their behavior. 
“Romance happens in movies. In real life, it’s called stalking.” 
And, interestingly, by the people who they aren’t hurting. In the memory unit, Tucker, walking restraining order, is the first one to make Church question if what he’s doing is wrong. Carolina is berated for her treatment of the reds and blues by Wash. Wash. Wash, the guy who’s the only one other than Carolina and Epsilon who knows the entirety of what the director did, the guy who’s carrying the traumas of three different people in his head, the guy who should want the director dead more than anyone. But he also has his experiences from the previous seasons. He’s the one who steps up, like Tucker did, and tells her ‘I know books and tv have taught you that this is okay, that you can treat people like side characters in your personal story, but I’ve been down that road. In reality, it just makes you a jerk.’
Trauma does not give you a free pass to be a bad person. 
Throughout season 10, our story is now flip flopping between Carolina-and-Epsilon, and the final days of project freelancer. The bad days. Connie’s death and Maine’s degradation and Tex’s betrayal and the final mutiny. And, most importantly to Carolina, her final fight with York. 
Though it pains me to do so, I’m going to pull a quote from season 15.
 “Sometimes, I think York was my chance at a fresh start. And I threw it down an elevator shaft.”
Carolina is fighting between the two sides of herself, the parts she sees as being “splintered” by the project. The good leader, the team commander, the captain of her little family, versus the ruthless soldier, the headstrong killer, the ‘best of the best’. She spends time tracking down all the old bodies of her teammates, trying to reconcile how much she loved them with the fact that they all betrayed each other. Connie’s helmet, Tex’s crashed ship, and, once again. 
York. 
When Epsilon shows her the recording of York, she sees her chance at a ‘fresh start’. She sees her old teammate, her almost love, the man who was willing to die to do the right thing. Epsilon tells her “I know what it’s like to spend your whole life chasing ghosts.” 
From his perspective, this is crucial advice. The choice to stop remembering, to move on and let go, is what kept the woman he loved being forced to live, over and over again. It's the choice that got him out of the memory unit, that allowed him to overcome his grief and have a semblance of closure.
But to Carolina, the memory of York was the only thing giving her reservations. The memory of ‘do the right thing, no matter the consequences’. The memory of a family, of friends, of jokes in the pelican and a lighter that says Errera and the idea that she got more from the project than years of hell and trauma. The idea that she needs to ‘let go’ is exactly what breaks her.
 Again, same history. Same pain. Different ways they come out of it, different ways they heal. 
From then on, Carolina is dead set on killing the director. She’s ruthless, vicious, and downright suicidal. Epsilon, who was just beginning to stitch himself together, feeds into it, with newfound whiplash after getting his full memory back. Together, they become a dysfunctional little battle team of loathing, eventually driving away any help they had and dooming their vengeance to failure. 
(Of course, they only survive because the very people they abandoned look at eachother and decide ‘They were hurt. They hurt us. But this thing they’re chasing, this trauma, is what brought us together in the first place. And we’re going to hold on to that companionship, the shared history, instead of the actions made by someone mad with grief.’ You know, kinda like the original pfl chose not to do.) (Honestly, people really undervalue the sim troopers in my opinion. They went through almost the exact same thing the PFL team did, just on a broader, less personalized, level. The fact that they look around and, without even knowing it, choose love and sticking together the exact same way Carolinas' previous family didn’t, is hecking underappreciated.)
But I digress. Honestly, I think up until the very end, Carolina planned to kill the director. This wasn't a big lie, she wasn’t on the fence. She really planned to put a bullet in his skull.
I think the reason she didn't, the reason she walks away, is the usual strange trifecta that the series had been running on since season 6: a combination of Alison, the director, and the ai he created because of her loss.
When she enters the room, the first thing she sees, no, hears, is her mother. Her mother, reminding her husband, reminding them both, to never say goodbye. A message from almost literally beyond the grave to not miss her, not mourn her, but just to. Think of her as not being here right now. Carolina wonders if she should have decried her teammates' memories the way that she did. 
Next, she sees her father. A man who, in his own words, “has a mind more filled with memory than it is with hope.” Honestly, props to everyone on that scene, because up until then rvb had some really rocky human animation, but that moment, that frame, is so bleeding with tiredness and hopelessness that it hurts every time. She sees a man who is so overcome with mourning, with seeing someone he loved as “gone”, that it killed hundreds of people. I think Carolina decides not to kill him, not because he looks so lost, but because she sees what she will turn into, if she puts a gun to his head. 
And finally, my sweet darling Epsilon. God fucking damn you and your funky little robot monologues that tear my heart out of my chest. Epsilon screams at the director, lists his crimes, finally lets all the deaths that have been piling up spill out of him, and there's a very telling line that I adore with the entirety of my soul. 
“I’m here to remember what you’ve done. Someone has too.” 
Because that's what Epsilon sees himself as. Not a person, not a fragment, just a memory chip to use to hold the director accountable. That's literally how Epsilon is introduced to the cast; the piece of evidence that can testify against project freelancer. He thinks he’s just a receipt.
But Carolina hears this and thinks ‘I can remember them.’ All season, she’s been thinking about the final days, the betrayal and the scheming and the family that ripped itself apart. But she needs to remember the earlier flashbacks, the joking team and the days when things were easy, too. She’s been living this season in a memory, and she didn’t even make it a good one. 
Like Church, she chooses to fight for her team, for her memories, and for herself. 
“Your past doesn’t define who you are. It just gives you a starting point for who you're going to be.”
So Carolina chooses memory the exact way Epsilon didn’t. She kisses her father on the head and assures him he’ll be remembered not as the director, but as Leonard. She walks out, decides to let herself remember York and Tex and Wash and Connie and the twins. 
It’s no surprise that the season ends on an anecdote about Allison. Carolina, the woman who’s remembering her, and Church, the ai who forgot. These two people, who both loved her, albeit, in wildly different ways, swapping a story that isn’t tainted by PFL, just a small cheerful story. They aren’t mourning her, not like the director did. They’re acknowledging that she’s gone, that her death shaped their lives, their shared trauma, and they’re digging through the pieces to find something they want to hold close, something to build themselves on anew. 
Your past doesn’t define who you are. Your memories shape who you become. But you get to pick which ones you keep, which ones you hold on to. You get to decide which experiences are your starting point for who you’re going to be.
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7-milena-trajkovski-7 · 3 months
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Art Theory and Criticism - Journal reflection 10
pre-historic and contemporary depictions of the most used themes in art history: mortality, human life, and death.
When observing the Altamira caves in Spain and the Lascaux caves in France, one questions why these primitive people would go to such lengths and dangers to decorate the dark insides of these caves. However, it is important to put to mind that the idea of art as decorative and there for the sake of aesthetics/beauty of it, is a much more modern take on the essence of art. Sculptors and painter were in the same league as workmen and craftsmen, which held hand in hand their skills to build a functioning object and/or building along with producing a ‘good’ design. Which is why the object and functioning purposes were more important to these people as they created these objects and building with their spirit in mind. Exhibition spaces are a thing that came into play much later in our lives after humankind became more sophisticated with its representation of society and its commentary on the world constructed by it. Primitive people merged the idea of body and spirit together, where the body reaches, the spirit feels, and where the body cannot reach the spirit is affected as well. These illogical ideas of objects and buildings serving a higher purpose other then vanity and function could be considered as the ‘magical’ part of them that explains humanity’s culture and emotional turbulences were language and the scientific boundaries fail to explain. Which is why, after going into all this, the painting of the animals hunted by these people thousands of years before us feel like they are moving and are in one with their resting place. It is a recording of a time in which we can still feel its spirit in the media of choice. Using the natural material available to them from nature and their hands to extend their experiences onto a physical space make these gestural marks of these animals even more alive.
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Figure 1: Bison painted around 14,000 years ago in the Altamira complex. Photo by Pedro A. Saura.
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Figure 2: A horse from the "Panel of the Chinese Horses" from the Lascaux Cave. Photo courtesy of N. Aujoulat, Ministčre de la Culture et de la Communication, France.
Although we might be more focused on the idea that most of our primitive roots have dissolved into obscurity or evolved into acknowledging them as a thing of the past because of their lack of scientific knowledge, we could not be any more wrong. Although in the contemporary era, we as a species have always tackled and discussed the emotional side of our lives along with our collective/individual unconscious at work, the superstitious, and the mythological. It is very common for the ordinary person that does not think of art on a day-to-day basis, and to forget those parts within him because of the very fast way of living in this era of technology and rapid scientific advances. Which is why art is so important as a universal medium to express that which cannot be explained with reason and/or constricted language. Contemporary artists are all inspired from something or someone that came before them. These can be their experiences, injustices, memories, relationships, historical events, and other interests. Which is why the concept of death, and our fragile mortality can be visualised through art and via referencing real life tragedies, wars, injustices, fears, and emotional moments that change our lives in the contemporary era.
Although one can say that there are both old and new concepts to these themes of death and mortality. For example, one of them that has been happening for centuries is the inevitable political affairs that spark wars and the death of innocent people. A newer concept that has started blooming a sense of desperation and fear for the future in the concept of AI. Examples like how it can have the potential to eradicate certain employment, advance humanity to be lazier and unhealthier, and even the fear of AI eventually becoming aware and taking over. These ideas have been in the process of blooming along with technology’s advancements for decades now, along with art and its diversification in digital tools and multimedia. Although factually the same fears were sparked when the invention of the camera rattled artists and raised the concerns of loss of employment. However, what is fascinating about humanity is the ability to adapt to dire situations for the sake of evolving. Artists were, on a good note, free from the shackles of the academia and restricted subjects for commissions by the wealthy. They used this to their advantage to explore their humanity, emotions, spurs of the moment and even the power of expression on their thoughts and opinions. This is why Impressionism is such an important art movement as, with it suggested in the name, art became an expression of the world around the artist and his/her viewers and not trying to do the most perfect copy of one’s reality.
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Figure 3: Barakeh, K., The Untitled Images, 2014, 5 digital prints on paper, 21x30 cm each
A primary example of a multimedia contemporary artist is Khaled Barakeh, and, specifically, his 2014 series of photographs depicting war in a first-person perspective with all the raw emotions to prove the point of these people’s unjustified demise. A quote from the artist that sums up the power of this work and its comments on life is:
 How might the existence, or non-existence of an artwork affect the material reality presented in a photograph? Can an act of erasure be protective; the absence of a body highlights its presence?
 The ghostly depictions of somebody’s spirit being forced out of the body is a very horrifying theme depicted in this work. By playing with absence of the body in the image and covering it with white paint to ‘cut out’ the body and replace it with the loss of said body, instead representing an empty husk is a brilliant choice that the artist made. The soul is often depicted as an ascended and transparent version of the physical body, which is why the soul that has suffered this traumatic even and has been forced out of physical life is depicted as having already left the other world for peace, leaving nothing behind. Unresponsive, yet still communicating the emotions of these shells and former humans, this artwork depicts the fragility of humanity’s mortality and attempts to speak about what lies beyond the body when it comes to communicating this message, especially from the dead.
In conclusion, humanity will always suffer its respective time’s ups and lows, especially that concerning life and death. Art has always had this notion that it is more than just a craft, or an object of admiration for its beauty, or a political statement placed in a museum for exhibiting and profit. The spiritual, emotional, and hard to grasp concept of its never-ending debatable essence, it is important to consider in this point in time that art will always be a part of humanity and extension of ourselves, as well as our world.
Reference:
viennacultgram, 2023. The Eternal Question: Art’s Take on Mortality. [online] ViennaCultgram. Available at: <https://viennacultgram.com/2023/10/07/the-eternal-question-arts-take-on-mortality/#:~:text=Artists%20use%20death%20as%20a> [Accessed 30 December 2023].
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butchniqabi · 3 years
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Anatomical Theater in Padua (1594) / Enrique Simonet Lombardo. The Autopsy (Anatomy of the Heart; She had a Heart!) (1890)
Let Me Be Reborn as an Alarm Clock by Amatullah Bourdon
Words: 1563
Warnings: gore, medical, death
Summary: A woman is taken apart in an anatomical theater
Notes: Okay so. I was once again struck by a beam of inspiration (this time inspired by Zev aka hannibalapologist and his love for anatomical theaters) and wrote this quick piece. It has a sci-fi element to is so its like...past meets future is suppose! Story under the cut!
@hannibalapologist @fluoresensitive
The theater was empty aside from the six bodies who inhabited it. Four of them, doctors, sat around the tall room, close enough to view the dissection. A woman stood at the ready, her subject lay on the table with a serene expression. The woman was Dr. Antoinetta Brown and the subject was her daughter, Fantine. 
    Fantine had to die. The collective, composed of the five doctors, had voted four to one to end her existence. So now it was time to take her apart, bit by bit so she could be remade. 
    “Are you ready, Dr. Brown?” Dr. Pillai, a usually jovial woman, asked somberly. 
    “Yes,” she replied. “I will begin shortly.” 
    Antoinetta adjusted the tight gloves that covered her hands. She looked down at Fantine, who was staring up at her with an unreadable expression. 
    “I will begin soon, Fantine.” Antoinetta whispered. 
    “I know.” she replied, smiling. 
    “I’m so sorry.” 
    Fantine just kept smiling. 
    The dissection began. 
    Fantine would not feel any pain as she worked. Antoinetta carefully ran a knife down her sternum and to her navel. The knife glided as it cut through her skin to reveal the muscle underneath. She carefully pushed a blunt tool under her skin to disconnect it from the muscle tissue. Soon however, Antoinetta abandoned the tool entirely, using her hands to push flesh from flesh. 
    The collective’s decision to dissect Fantine came as little surprise to Anotinetta. They had been circling her for months and had been eyeing her ever since her creation. At first they had scoffed at the notion of her existence, even Dr. McFadden who had pioneered AI technology in her field, but soon they realized how special Fantine was. And now that they saw all she could be, they wanted her to be taken apart. 
    Antoinetta made a cut down Fantine’s muscle wall. She looked up from her work to catch a glimpse of Fantine. She hoped that her daughter could forgive her for this. She carefully pulled open her stomach and examined the wiring inside. 
    Dr. Owens truly galvanized the others into taking apart Fantine. She was an aggressive woman by nature, headstrong and rough around the edges. People knew to avoid her when she was in the middle of a project, which was almost always. Antoinetta thought there was some part of Owens which was jealous of her, of her invention. 
    The inside of Fantine mimicked the human body. She had blood and spinal fluid and spit. Her heart beated around a generator and her intestines wove around a data processing drive. Antoinetta showcased this to her colleagues. She pointed out the artificial stomach, the wires which carried information along with red blood, the bones made of titanium that shone in the bright lights. 
    Antoinetta was surprised by Dr. Pillai. Akshaana had been her friend for decades. They had done their doctoral dissertations side by side, restless and invigorated they bounced ideas off one another late into the night. She was bright and had encouraged Antoinetta to create Fantine. 
    Slowly, she tied off vessels and intestines. The generator was complex, and too large to work with so many obstructions. She removed the liver first. It weighed heavy with bile. In her hands the organ still flexed with phantom energy and bled when she placed it in a nearby dish. 
    Fantine was smart in a way that frightened people. Her intelligence never gave way to a superiority complex, her astute observations never masked with haughtiness. She was always smiling, always serene as she took apart supercomputers. Smiling as she solved complex math problems. Smiling as she predicted political moves and social moves and the moves of the collective. Smiling with a warmth that never quite reached her stark white eyes. 
    Dr. Nakahara thought the whole thing was a tragedy. She cried crocodile tears as she ordered Antoinetta to kill her creation. She was sad, of course she was sad. The technology involved in the creation of Fantine was a work of art. Anyone who was eager to destroy her was heartless, inhuman. Fantine was The Creation of Man, The Birth of Venus, a stained glass window set in an old church that let light in streams of red, yellow and blue. 
    Fantine’s stomach went next followed by her spleen, pancreas, and gallbladder. She held up each organ and explained briefly how they were made and how they functioned in an artificial body. Fantine was still smiling, staring aimlessly at the ceiling as her organs piled up next to her. 
    Did the body, as it decomposed, remember the feeling of consciousness? Did it yearn for life as it returned to the earth? Would the metal parts that made up Fantine's body remember her? Would they sing as they were melted down, reformed, and molded into a new image (Recycled, just like a human)? 
"I want to be remade as something useful." Fantine said suddenly. "I want to be memorable." 
Antoinetta was stunned by her statement. Didn’t she know she was already memorable? Not just to Anoinetta, but to artificial intelligence and robotics as a whole. Fantine was the first and the last, would always be the only one of her kind. 
“I’ll make sure you’re put to good use.” she replied softly. And oh, did Fantine smile. 
Dr. McFadden had created the most sophisticated AI the world had ever seen. It thought, it dreamed, it craved. It named itself, Jeremiah, and chose an image to base itself off of. McFadden rose to fame for her work and inspired both Antoinetta and Akshaana to pursue a similar study. She was a private woman despite her notoriety. No one knew what she did with her AI after she closed the program (and those who did were sworn to secrecy they dared not break). Even the other members of the collective couldn’t say much about her and her moods. Despite that, Antoinetta thought that she would hold a soft spot for Fantine, but there was little room in her heart for beings made of metal. 
Next, Antoinetta cut the diaphragm and pulled it apart with her hands. She could feel the organs quake as they were prodded and shifted. Slowly, but surely, Fantine’s generator was exposed. The lungs had to go in order for her work to be the most effective. 
She thought back to when she created Fantine. Her child began as a program, a series of ones and zeroes that evolved and grew as she learned. Antoinetta nurtured her the way any mother would, giving her books to read and problems to solve. She made her a body and took the utmost care in the crafting. 
Her lungs twitched for breath in the dish. Finally, her generator was cleared. It connected to her heart and regulated itself with her spinal fluid. Antoinetta sighed and cast one last look to Fantine as she dug her hands into her near empty chest. 
There were a series of fail safes installed in case of damage or tampering, Antoinetta disassembled them all. One by one, line by line, Fantine slowly shut down. The life was leaving her, she could feel it. Her blood stopped pumping, her organs stopped wiggling. Antoinetta wanted to weep as she killed her creation, deprived her of the consciousness that she had worked so hard to grant her. 
She arrived at the final switch: her heart. It was a poetic choice on her part to make her heart the center of her consciousness. She gripped Fantine’s heart as she prepared to cut it off from her body and pull it from her chest. 
A long moment passed in silence. Antoinetta did not move as she felt the heart beat lazily in her hand. Could she really kill Fantine? Could she end her life like this? 
A cool hand touched her arm. It was Fantine, using the limited mobility she had left to offer comfort. She smiled her serene smile that didn’t reach her eyes and laughed softly. 
“Thank you for my life.” she said. 
Antoinetta disconnected her heart and Fantine’s face fell blank, dead. Her hand slid off her arm and dangled over the side, limp. She held the heart up for the collective to see. It did not beat.
    From the heart she grabbed a small, innocuous chip. This was Fantine in her true, pure form. A series of data collected and compressed into files, lines, and code. Antoinetta wondered if she could still think, still feel. 
    The doctors rose from their seats, the demonstration was over. They walked down to the theater and gazed closely upon Fantine’s corpse: a husk made of artificial flesh and metal. Dr. McFadden held out her hand expectantly. Antoinetta handed her Fantine. 
    “Thank you for your cooperation, Dr. Brown.” She said simply. 
    The women walked out of the room in silence, leaving Antoinetta alone. Truly alone. Soon people would come to clean up the waste. They would clean the flesh from her metal bones and dispose of it proper. The metal would be melted down and remade into hip implants, telephone poles, and alarm clocks. 
In a way, Fantine would never die. In a way, Fantine was never really alive. 
Antoinetta removed her gloves and washed her hands. She placed Fantine’s hand at her side and carefully closed her eyes. She brushed back a stray curl and left before the others could arrive. 
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traincat · 3 years
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I feel like I've read a ton, but I'm honestly still pretty new to comics rn. That being said... What is one more day? Ik we don't like it and it happened a while ago, but that's about it [,=
Time for Spider-Man History With Traincat: Highly Controversial Storylines! And that feeling is totally normal with comics with huge canons -- you can read a ton and still have some fairly big blindspots in your understanding of the total picture. That being said, this is kind of a big one, both in terms of Spider-Man history/canon and in terms of how Spider-Man fandom functions. I would say probably no other storyline has had quite as much impact on how the fandom views and interacts with the source material as One More Day/Brand New Day. It's been the Wild West out here ever since it happened. (Which was in 2007, so like, yes, fairly long ago, especially when you look at how Spider-Man canon has evolved since, but in the grand scheme of things, also kind of recent. One More Day is not old enough to rent a car.)
So when people talk about Spider-Man's One More Day, they're usually actually talking about two related arcs: One More Day and Brand New Day. For the sake of simplicity, I'm going to be covering both. For the sake of transparency, I am going to admit that I think One More Day, as a self-contained story, is good, actually. This is controversial! I admit that! But I stand by my stupid opinions on this blog, for some reason. I think One More Day when you examine it on its own, by which I mean you ignore the decade and a half worth of canon that came after it, as a Spider-Man story and as a PeterMJ-centric story holds up under scrutiny and that people who don't like it don't like complicated love stories and might actually throw their own mothers under buses. No offense to the OMD haters. Little bit of offense to the OMD haters. Brand New Day, which is the continuation of One More Day, on the other hand -- largely bad. Very largely bad.
But let's backtrack. One More Day is a four issue crossover storyline that takes place directly after Civil War, during which Iron Man and Captain America got divorced and divvied up the superhero community and Spider-Man made some startlingly bad decisions and made a fugitive out of himself and his family in a manner that got Aunt May shot, and Spider-Man: Back in Black (Amazing Spider-Man #539–543) which examines Peter's actions immediately after Aunt May is shot and ends with him humiliating the Kingpin in front of an entire prison. One More Day consists of Amazing Spider-Man #544 -> Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #24 -> Sensational Spider-Man v2 #41 -> Amazing Spider-Man #545. In One More Day, Aunt May is dying, all of Peter's efforts to save her have thus far failed, and, consumed by guilt, he is rapidly running out of time. Approached by Mephisto, a literal demon from hell, Peter is offered a deal: Aunt May will live -- and Peter's identity, which was previously revealed to the world at large during Civil War, will once again be hidden from the memories of all but a select few -- if Peter trades him his marriage to Mary Jane. Peter and Mary Jane struggle with this, but eventually both agree to the deal. The clock strikes twelve, the deal is done, and Peter and Mary Jane's marriage fades into history.
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(ASM #545) A reasonably simple premise for a story that caused so many problems -- most, I would argue, not actually the original story's fault. So obviously, this was an unpopular move -- Peter and Mary Jane had for a long time been a fan favorite Marvel couple, and in a fictional universe where most relationships are doomed as soon as they begin, the enduring Spider-Marriage was sacred ground. And then, with a snap of its fingers, it was gone: Peter wakes up in Aunt May's house, no longer married, with Mary Jane out of the picture. (She would not return to the book on any sort of consistent basis for over 50 issues.) In the wake of One More Day began Brand New Day, which is basically what it sounds like: a promised "brand new day" of "exciting" Spider-Man content and a publishing schedule where Amazing Spider-Man came out three times a month. (Which sounds good on paper but I think in practice caused more problems than it created good storylines.) Peter, newly single again, had new love interests! And also Harry Osborn was alive again for some reason! I generally like Harry's post-BND stories so that part's fine with me.
But overall? Brand New Day is a mess. It knows it wants to tread new and exciting ground with Peter -- tell new stories! ensnare new readers! make them fork out for a book three times a month. -- but it doesn't know what those stories should be. Readers who were invested in Peter and Mary Jane's relationship -- a major facet of Spider-Man comics for decades at that point -- felt rightfully betrayed that the marriage could be so easily traded in and that Mary Jane herself, perhaps the second most important figure in Spider-Man comics after Peter, could be tossed aside. From a personal point of view, I think Brand New Day fails in large part because it abandons what has always made Spider-Man such a compelling series, and that's the mix of Peter's personal life with his vigilante life. BND sees Peter with new friends, new jobs, new love interests, etc -- it is very much a brand new day! But it isn't a better day compared to the stories that came before it. I do like some post-BND stories, especially American Son (ASM #595-599) and Grim Hunt (ASM #634-637), but compared to pre-BND where I think the majority of canon is good, it's a very lacking body of work that is hurt by the way it divorced itself from the PeterMJ marriage as Spider-Man's central relationship.
"But Traincat, I thought you said you liked One More Day?" Yeaaaaah. I do. This is why I keep saying I like One More Day on its own merits, and not on the merits of the stories it opened the doors for. I like a good romantic tragedy in fiction, and the way Peter and Mary Jane's final scene in One More Day plays out is beautiful. I like the idea of Peter caught in this impossible situation, being asked to choose between two women he loves more than his own life. A really common criticism I see leveled against One More Day is that Peter should have chosen his relationship with Mary Jane over May's life, which is -- okay, I think it's weird that people keep insisting on this, not in the least because by asking Peter to sacrifice his aunt's life they're essentially demanding he commit a callous, out of character act in order to further his own interests. It's also weird because the thing is, Peter already chose Mary Jane over May -- that's what gets them into this situation. It's literally in the scene where May is shot:
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(ASM #538) When the gun goes off, Peter's spider-sense kicks in, and he covers Mary Jane, leaving May in the path of the bullet. He does choose Mary Jane over May, regardless of whether he realized what he was doing. And that's why he can't make that choice a second time. His actions in One More Day do make sense for him as a character, whether or not any individual reader likes them, and Mary Jane's actions make sense, too -- after all, she's the one who ultimately tells Mephisto that they agree to the deal when Peter can't bring himself to voice it.
A lot of people also like to nitpick One More Day by going, well, why could (x) or (y) with life saving powers save Aunt May which is like -- yeah, I guess, but if we're going to ask that about this specific comic book near death setup, you kind of have to do it with every single one, and I'm not going to stake every single moment of comic book drama on whether or not that gold kid from the X-Men was busy at the time. Comics are soap operas in flimsy paper form: serialized longform storytelling that relies heavily on melodrama. Sometimes you have to go with things. Sometimes you sell your marriage to the devil. Stuff happens. That in and of itself doesn't make One More Day a bad story -- and while some people blame the Spider-Marriage's dissolution entirely on One More Day, I think that's a little shortsighted when you look at the history of Spider-Man since the turn of the century. It's clear -- and Marvel themselves have been perhaps a little too open about this -- that Marvel in the past few decades has had trouble with the direction they want to take Spider-Man. They WANTED Spider-Man to appeal to a distinctly youthful audience that they didn't think they were actually reaching -- understandable, considering that Marvel nearly went bankrupt around 2000 and was saved by Ultimate Spider-Man, an out of main continuity series which retold Spider-Man from the beginning and focused heavily on Peter as a teen -- but the problem was Spider-Man in the main continuity was at that point in canon a happily married man who was pushing the dreaded 30 whether or not they wanted to admit that. This is also why Marvel has continually pivoted away from Spider-Man having kids, because they feared that making him a dad would age him too much and make him unrelatable to their coveted audience of Teens. (This is also why almost every new Spider-Man property, especially the live action movies, perpetually stick him back into high school, despite that occupying a very small slice of 616 canon.) So around the year 2000, they started trying things in relation to the Spider-Marriage, which was viewed as a major problem -- after all, what's more adult than being married and liking your wife. First, they had Mary Jane presumed dead. Then, they had Mary Jane and Peter separate. Then, when Mary Jane and Peter had only recently gotten back together, One More Day struck. If One More Day specifically hadn't gone the way it had, it's pretty clear that the Spider-Marriage was going to go one way or another -- it's a little bit of a shame it happened when it did, because OMD is the end of J Michael Straczynski's run, and JMS wrote a really beautiful Peter and MJ relationship. But Marvel as a company and especially editor in chief at the time Joe Quesada viewed Peter and Mary Jane's relationship as a major problem in how they wanted to portray Spider-Man and thought that striking the relationship from the books would allow them more freedom in their portrayal of him as younger and more relatable to their Desired Audience of people who I guess really wanted to see Peter sleep with characters who weren't Mary Jane.
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(ASM #546. Younger! Fresher! Less attached! Kissing random women in the club!)
The problem with One More Day has always been in the follow through -- from the content of Brand New Day to the pacing of events to the fact that Marvel withheld key information for such a long time that it allowed misinformation to thrive. After all, what does it MEAN to trade Peter and Mary Jane's marriage to the devil? It altered the events of canon in Peter and the majority of other characters' memories so that the marriage didn't exist, but it left people wondering -- did the relationship as they remembered it existed? How much of Spider-Man canon was altered? And the answers didn't come for over 100 issues of Amazing Spider-Man. One Moment In Time or OMIT (Amazing Spider-Man #638-641), which revealed that while Peter and Mary Jane never got married in the altered canon they did continue their long committed relationship up until just after Civil War, was published in 2010, so essentially readers were hung out to dry without answers for three years. That's a long time to string people along, but not as long as it took Marvel to confirm that the popular fan theory that Mary Jane retained her memories of the original timeline as part of her own deal with Mephisto was also true, which happened this year. I would say, at least from my perspective, a lot of the frustration doesn't come from the individual One More Day storyline so much as how Marvel has continually dragged out the aftermath, using the promise of a Spider-Marriage return to keep fans on the hook. Which is why One More Day continually comes up in discussion of current Spider-Man, because Spencer's run has relied very heavily on imagery from that period with a serious question of whether or not there actually was going to be payoff, something which is still up in the air.
This has been Spider-Man History With Traincat, brought to you by anonymice like you.
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elerondo · 3 years
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Headcanon | Rivendell and Celebrian
This headcanon is set in the timeline from S.A. 1697 to T.A. 2501, so it’s going to be very long. It is my attempt at the fullest account of Elrond’s priorities in that timeline, and his life and marriage to Celebrian. And the After.
PRELUDE After the initial crush that Elrond had on Celebrian, Elrond did wait more than 1700 years before proposing to her. Elrond did not want to subject her to a life of war and hardship with him when they’d only just met. Elrond loved Celebrian enough to let her go home to safety and a more peaceful life. But Elrond loved Middle Earth more, that he would sacrifice his personal happiness in order to protect and save the free peoples.
The dire costs of the War of the Elves and Sauron were echoes of the War of Wrath, where Elrond had seen the wrath of the dragons as a youth and the trumpets that eventually marred and sunk Beleriand. He was determined not to let Eriador reach that stage of destruction, and since few of the strangers in the Valley were well enough to engage in battle, Elrond was frequently at the helm of offensive measures against the forces of Sauron that sought to besiege Rivendell.
POST WAR OF THE ELVES AND SAURON When Rivendell was founded, it was basically filled with refugees and soldiers gravely wounded from the destruction of Eregion and Sauron’s conquest of Eriador. Simply put, Rivendell was functional at best, and a stinky shit hole of armour and blood at its worst. A stronghold with severely weakened military power. There was no Ring of Power to protect it yet, so Elrond took it upon himself to ride out and meet evil before it could come near. Frequently, he rode from the northern foothills of the Hithaeglir, to the south bordering the outskirts of Eregion, then east across the valley to the ford of Bruinen, and even further still to penetrate the forests to the west.
Even though Elrond wanted to beautify Rivendell with other areas like education, hospitality, music, etc, it remained clear to Elrond that his immediate and most urgent priorities had to be taking vanguard in most marches as his elves and men were recovering, returning home, or sailing West.
After Vilya was handed to Elrond and he was made Lord and Master of Rivendell, Elrond was at the peak of his power and strength. Loyal and following the passions of a war won, the coverage of Vilya stretched from the Men-i-Naugrim to the Coldfells to the Last Bridge to the meet of Mitheithel and Bruinen. It matched his initial marches, patrols, and more. Elrond purified the forests and straightened the roads, dealing death to the last of the fell beings out of the Coldfells, the East Road, and the Old Forest Road. Strongholds were built upon the Misty Mountains and the borders of Eregion to keep watch on the southern and eastern passages. Where the Ring could reach, there Elrond’s spirit was, working its inner machinations to keep it safe.
FALL OF NUMENOR Elrond took his marches very far south to keep the borders and to exercise his Crown rights. He tripled the patrols around southern Eriador. If there were any stray survivors, they must be verified clean and without evil before they could travel. Otherwise, they were caught and handed to the nearest City willing to let them stand trial. When the presence of the Crown Prince of the Noldor increased near the borders of Gondor, there were quite many mixed reactions. A certain pressure to observe decorum, for example, to stop everything one was doing to answer questions, possessions checked thoroughly, and weapons that were deemed stolen or machines of darkness were confiscated until further notice. As long as one saw the banners of Gil-galad, even from a distance, they were compelled to stop and obey.
MARRIAGE TO CELEBRIAN Elrond is not a free and easy leader. He is a leader who actively chooses to sacrifice his happiness, his reputation, rest / sleep / food, for the sake of protecting and aiding the people at large. Elrond’s version of taking care of himself was stretched until his limits threatened to break, then rest for a while. It was the equivalent of sleeping once a week.
I think that Celebrian would have heard a lot about Elrond and what he was doing, Elrond’s fame and infamy spreading far and wide over the Misty Mountains. On the other side of the land, Elrond knew his deeds and renown were preceding him. He had some fears that he wouldn’t be well liked, because who could understand the land’s emergencies as well as him? He didn’t think anyone could, not because he was arrogant or wanted to do everything himself, but he was the most endowed.
Celebrian would be the only person Elrond could be weak to without being judged, rejected, or told to change or stop what he was doing. With her, Elrond was that bit more comfortable in taking / asking for comforts, and sharing his griefs, resentment, the nasty stuff and not just his plans, counsel, the good stuff that was always dispensed to all without cost. Celebrian was the shoulder Elrond cried on, while he was the shoulder for the world. Celebrian was the person whom Elrond revealed all of his quirks and eccentricity to. It was Celebrian who really made Rivendell into a Homely House. Celebrian was the one who helped him fulfil his visions and execute the blueprints of his mind while he properly focused on keeping Eriador and Rivendell safe. With her in mind, Elrond took more care of himself because he did not want her to be worried about him. Elrond was the healthiest in the 1000+ years before the Angmar War.
ANGMAR RISING The split and existence of Rhudaur in T.A. 861 unsettled him and so Elrond frequently visited Arthedain in secret, debating upon many topics of potential insurrection and defense strategies. The chief of the matter were these: Both Rhudaur and Cardolan desired to possess Amon Sul, and Rhudaur resisted Argeleb who claimed to be High King over all of Arnor. Elrond was sensitive to the matters of kingship and the Palantir. For the lands of Men and the Palantiri to come under one king was better than for them to split into the hands of the wrong people. Celebrian understood that for Elrond to ally Rivendell with Arthedain, hostilities with the rest would be inevitable.
( my Angmar war timeline here where Elrond suffered a Morgul-wound at the end of )
THE WATCHFUL PEACE … is a deceitful name. It was more watchful than it was peaceful.
Rivendell spent the early years recovering from the 600 year war, especially Elrond - being the first of all elves to suffer a Morgul-wound, a large scar on his back with no recovery method yet. Elrond had to devise and experiment on himself, while he was suffering from it, before he managed to heal himself. However, the military never again rises up to any relevant standard in a war. A lot of commanders were lost, Elrond was weak and sick, and many elves succumbed to their injuries, grief, and they faded or sailed West.
Every year for the rest of Elrond’s life in Middle Earth, on the same week, the Morgul-wound brought Elrond searing and debilitating pain. He still could hold the power of Vilya over The Angle and the Misty Mountains, but the western forests and Coldfells were neglected.
Rivendell never ceases to send patrols across Eriador, despite Elrond being in an extremely bad shape and the vale was desperately short handed. Elrond depended on Vilya more, both to heal and to protect, as he would leave Rivendell defenseless except for the Kingsguard, while he sent aid and resources everywhere else. Celebrian was beside him every step of the way, going into a Post-war scenario in a huge piece of land called Eriador again. They really could not enjoy the quieter times at all.
Furthermore, before the Watchful Peace ended, evil again invaded Eriador. It was followed by Galadriel’s summons of the White Council.
CELEBRIAN ASSAILED, DEPARTURE TO THE WEST 46 years later, tragedy ended the marriage of Celebrian and Elrond. He would be officially widowed with her passing over the Great Sea. The greatest healer who ever lived could not save his greatest love.
He let her go when she made her choice to go. He did not force to stay her, it would be too cruel to her. Elrond chose to do what was right instead of what was kinder to himself. When she left, she tore half his heart and flesh along with it.
This trauma is one that Elrond carries with him. The darkening of the times did work to twist his sacrifice into guilt, into thoughts of ❛What if❜ he was stronger, more powerful, better, or enough. Because of how obvious it was that Celebrian’s assault was premeditated by Sauron to weaken Rivendell, Elrond would always blame himself for bringing her into his life. Perhaps he should have just continued hiding his love. Perhaps she would have been safe. Perhaps.
In Elrond’s lowest moments, he could not understand what was so good about Valinor. He could not reconcile Celebrian’s choice of Aman over him and their 3 children together. For all his wars and battles in Middle Earth, no army ever came from the West to aid the people. He has no good perception of Aman. Over time, Celebrian’s departure joined one of many gravestones that Elrond had to force himself to move forward from. It was the only way, force himself not to dwell on it, bury himself in work, in the forge, in planning. For his children, for all the people who depended on him, for the sake of unseating Sauron, Elrond had to move forward even if it was by crawling through the mud.
His love for her did dull, did become mixed with depression, and he feared to see her again if he sailed to Aman. Elrond fears that Aman might actually be better for Celebrian than him. The dilemma? Wanting Celebrian to be happy and healthy, but wanting it to be him for her and no one else. Elrond knew the solution to that, and the answer was: Not him. It is a fact that is so hard to swallow at times, that he has to leave the love of his life in someone else’s hands.
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voidsentprinces · 3 years
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Every bit of Shadowbringers is the Scions it corresponds with.
Amh Araeng Prt 1 is very Alisaie. Mirroring her decision in A Realm Reborn, Alisaie wanders off to the outskirts of civilization. Choosing to observe the powers of the world and figure out a way to stop coming tragedies. We’re introduced to the threat and aggressively fight against it but in mirror the loss of Ga Bu and Louisoix. Alisaie loses someone dear to her by Tempering. Louisoix became a Primal and Ga Bu was tempered by Titan. (Though honestly I wish Alisaie would stop losing people dear to her cause after Requiem for Heroes it feels like the story likes to kick her while she’s down at this point)
Kholusia Prt 1 is very Alphinaud. There is a semblance civilization, a rule of law in the area, there is even a function in which the society works. Mirroring Alphinaud remaining well within spitting distance and very much in the middle of the comings and goings. He uses his diplomatic maturity, which once was made for personal gain with clever wit and scheme. He has learned from the Crystal Brave betrayal, corruption of Ishgards, the result of those who choose might means right and what it results in from his time in Ala Mhigo, Hingashi, and Doma respectively. Applying himself to better comes to grips with the peoples plight. Upon seeing how Eulmore treats those chosen but then thrown away and then coming face to face with Vauthry. Rather than turning a blind eye and just being, “That’s just how it is.” as he was with the Monetarists and Refugees of Ul’dah. He pushes back against the system, damn the consequences, leaving an easily position to effect the politics of Eulmore and even gets a bullseye placed on the back of his head.
Lakeland is very much the Crystal Exarch’s Domain. It is the place of mystery, where life heavily clings on and every time we venture out to it. We come into conflict with either Eulmore or the Sineaters, Vauthry is controlling. It is in Lakeland, we fight through the Holminster Switch. Come face to face with our first Lightwarden and see where there was once furtile farm land, peace, and people. Now chaos reigns and an apocalyptic wave of disaster has struck. Mirror the world, G’raha had woken up to after the Eighth Umbral Calamity. This is where our foot hold is. Where we first bring night back to the First and his plan for saving the Source is put in motion. There is also a sense of myth about the place, Bismarck, a fae being in this shard slumbers in the Lake aptly named the Source. And it is only by bringing together to allies we made that we allowed to travel to the Tempest when he is spirited away. Just as G’raha gathered allies and people to himself to build the Crystarium.
Il Mheg is Urianger’s realm and reflects the game, he has agreed to play with the Warrior of Light at the behest of the Exarch. It is full of beings, who make deals out of innocent furvor at the determent of all who are around them. Pixies trick travels and fellow fae a like. The Nou Mou live to serve mortal kind just as Urianger serves the realm as a whole, no matter what light history might cast him in. And the Amaro dream of comrades lost, wishing to feel the comfort the adventurers and merchants they once wandered with. Grieving in their own way just as Urianger did after Moenbryda’s passing. Il Mheg is the land of faeries, it is steeped in myth and legend just as Urianger always had his nose in a book. Titania lays at the center of the realm. Once the pinnacle of the fae, forever corrupted by the Lightwarden’s energy. A horrific mirror of what should happen is G’raha’s plan should fail and the paragon of heroism, his friend: The Warrior of Light. Could also become a monster wearing the skin of a kingly figure should his mask slip. Yet when we enter his abode in the middle of Il Mheg, the Waking Sands/Rising Stones music plays. Reminding us of home and the Scions, he calls family and he welcomes us as he ever did, cryptically.
“Unto a hero weary of heroes, a heroes wends [their] way...”
Rak’tika is Y’shtola of course. She has turned away from her light magics of conjury to the dark magics of thaumaturge. The great boughs rise up and block out the sun light of the Great Wood. Reflecting the living style of her mentor: Master Matoya. A person who prefers their solitude, away from the dealings of the world, but with great knowledge to progress the plot forward. Thancred and Y’shtola get into an argument on how each other has changed. The two of them stood side by side after the Bloody Banquet and were both flung into Aetherstream by her Flow spell. While Y’shtola adapted to her blindness and halfened life force. Thancred had to push against the constrains of no longer having access to his aether and briefly losing sight in one eye. His last moments were the thought of protecting Minfilia. Only to wake up in Dravania and find out that Minfilia is no more. Y’shtola rejects Master Matoya and Thancred’s choice of solitude. Making friends with the Night’s Blessed. Even though, she knows she might have to leave them behind all too soon. She becomes a pinnacle of the Night’s Blessed community. While Thancred wanders hither and tither unfocused with Ryne at his side. Slipping easily into her role as a Scion, she researches the clues left behind by the Ronka Empire and makes allies with a civilization who has also closed themselves off from the world. Y’shtola is the first one to recognize the faults in G’raha’s plan and is immediately suspicious of the Exarch’s intentions. We see Y’shtola never truly changed however as when it comes time to get the item that will save the world and protect her friends. She readily uses Flow once more. Damn the consequences. Her sacrifice for the greater good is, as always, her charge which she never hesitates to grant. She even bonds with Runar seeing him as a little brother despite his obvious want for something more, just as she has a sister back in Gridania with whom she has a friendly relationship with. Just as Y’shtola’s connection to Matoya opened up the path to Azys Lla. Her run in with Emet-Selch opens up the path to learn of the Ancients and Amaurot and the true nature of Hydaelyn and Zodiark.
Amh Araeng Prt 2 is Thancred. Its tedious, its nearly empty, full of the smallest hopes. Each challenge is made to be tougher than it should be and despite us being able to compliment Thancred when finding a Voebrite coin. He shrugs it off as he is wont to do at this point. We get Ryne’s inner turmoil deepening. Thancred comes face to face with another individual wallowing in their own grief for those he loss and suddenly after coming face-to-face with Ran’jit again. Thancred throws away his misgivings and brings Ryne into the fold as shoe horned and bad written as possible. So lets just skip this area and never talk of it ever again okay? Cause the story never really does save for the Fatebreaker Eden section
Kholusia Prt 2 is Ardbert’s story or what it once was. We gather our group together and besiege Eulmore only for the villain to escape our grasps. But we triumph in liberating Eulmore from Vauthry’s tyranny for a moment. Alphinaud gets his heroic speech, Alisaie gets to combat the threats of the Lightwardens, Y’shtola and Urianger work together to make a massive Talos, Thancred and Ryne keeping tabs on Vauthry and Mt. Gulg. We meet face to face with G’raha. For all intents and purposes our Cylva. A person with a schism coming to a head. We come together as a team for the first time since coming to the First and each shows their worth in their connections to the realm. Mirroring Ardbert’s journey, we are faced with multiple seemingly insurmontible odds and come out on top. Vauthry’s Sineater Guard fall, he himself becomes the last one. The night returns to the First. And. We. Fail. We fail due to the machinations of Ascians just as Ardbert’s group did. The Warrior of Light is brought low by the combined aetheric energies of all Lightwardens. G’raha’s plan fails when Emet-Selch appears and leaves us for dead. Sure the enemy was vanquished, Vauthry and Ran’jit for us, Loghrif and Mitron for Ardbert’s group, but the First still falls to a Flood of Light as the eternal day returns and we are left on the cusp of despair. For all our triumphs. For all the schemes. For all the fighting. We fail. And just as Ardbert learns to protect his world with the aid of the Word of the Mother. The Warrior of Light only survives due to the aid of Ryne. An Oracle of Light who has come into her own and not died on the battlefield. We wander the Crystarium afterwards listening to the tales of the people and what they think of the Exarch. Then immediately find our courage to plunge into the depths. Ardbert giving us the strength to move forward, that he didn’t have when he met Elidibus. No more desperation. Just courage in the face of oblivion.
The Tempest is Emet-Selch. We are bridged there by the mythical Bismarck and find a dwindling but prospering Sahagin alternative. Living and getting by the ruins of those who stood before. The one part of the world far, far, far way from the light of the First. From the people and things, he used to care for. We find he made a city out of nostalgia and even the ghosts become almost too real. He is at the depths of his grief in a world, he cannot forget and will not forsake. It is here, the one clinging to the past the most falls to those who look to the future they yet have. He covets the Exarch’s use of rift travel because he knows if he can harness it, he has a chance to go back and save EVERYONE! But, he can’t and he won’t. He can no longer go home and knowing Elidibus’s memory and personality has been slipping since he left Zodiark’s breast. He asks us:
“Remember us...remember that we once lived.”
The Crystal Tower is Elidibus. It is the shining beacon of hope, he wished to become as Emissary. From the day, he chose to become the heart of Zodiark. To every motion to move for or against his breathren. The Allaghan Empire’s greatest achievement. But ruled by an Emperor whose death dropped him into Nihilism. Conquest was nothing but ashes in the mouth of Xande and he wish to consume the Source in Void. Elidibus wishes the return of Zodiark. For it is his duty, there is no solace in memories he can no longer recall. A being frozen in time just as Amon had the Crystal Tower’s previous inhabitence. Telling us repeatedly that no matter what our Echo shows us of his past. It will not avail us to his present. So he takes on the image of the Warrior of Light, playing pretend at the role of the hero having possessed Ardbert’s body before. He speeds up the Heroes Journey. Has us actively fight against our own memories and in the end, his own brother reappears amidst the clash to grant the last Unsundered Peace in his fall. G’raha sealing away his essence in the Crystal Tower to become part of the beacon of hope and light. Though perhaps in his final moments, his true duty was that he was waiting for someone to return to him. Someone he looked up to in his younger years. A shadow in his memories he has clung to and taken into being the example off in their absence.
“The rains have ceased, and we have been graced with another beautiful day. But you are not here to see it.”
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the-widow-sisters · 3 years
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Just Wanna Stay
Summary: When Natasha and Yelena are invited to go to an Avengers party with all of the most richest and most powerful men in the country, Yelena is determined to stay home. Natasha does not really want to go either, but she feels like she should. Luckily, Yelena has a way of getting what she wants.
Word Count: 2035
  “I’m quitting life,” Yelena dramatically declared out of the blue, still dressed in her usual cargo pants, combat boots, and tank top combo with her hair pulled back in a ponytail despite the fact that Natasha had already told her to change at least five times already. It was a stark contrast to Natasha’s apparel which was currently a sleek black dress that stopped just above her knees and dipped down in a heart-shaped neck cut.
  Natasha rolled her eyes fondly, only slightly irritated with Yelena’s lack of cooperation. By now, she was mostly used to it, but it still could be terribly inconvenient sometimes.
  Yelena’s largest contributor to her belligerence was that she did not want to go to the party that the Avengers were hosting tonight. While Yelena wanted to talk to the team and keep making a good impression, she most certainly did not ever want to go to a hoity toity party with the richest, most influential people in the country.
  Personally, Natasha did not really want to go either, but she was much more accustomed to such things despite her discomfort. She always went despite her own dislike for them even though Clint, Steve, and the others assured her that it would be fine if she didn’t come a few times and took some time for herself.
  She especially did not want to go because of the way that creepy older men drooled over her every time she walked by them. It made her terribly uncomfortable and reminded her far too much of her younger years.
  It also reminded her of Dreykov and his disgusting ways.
  “Hey, does my breath smell bad to you?” Yelena questioned before just moving directly into Natasha’s face and exhaling deeply out of her mouth. Natasha quickly moved away from the blonde, choking a bit as she narrowed her eyes at the blonde. Yelena grinned widely and wickedly, her eyes sparkling with mischief, and Natasha coughed hard.
  “Oh, my— what did you eat?!”
  “Tuna fish,” Yelena told her as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and Natasha swallowed hard, trying to keep the contents of her stomach in its proper place.
  “Is it that bad?” Yelena questioned innocently before covering her mouth and nose with a hand and breathing out. She quickly withdrew her hand from her face and wrinkled her nose a bit.
  “Oh, wow… That is pretty bad,” Yelena admitted sincerely, but Natasha could see the easily evident smirk on the girl’s face that the blonde was trying diligently to hide. Natasha just raised an eyebrow, completely unimpressed.
  “Get in there and brush your teeth. We’re supposed to be leaving in fifteen minutes and you aren’t even dressed!” Natasha told her, trying to force some semblance of sternness in her voice to make Yelena listen to her. Yelena just sighed dramatically and deeply before heading off in the direction of her bathroom.
  “Do I use the mouthwash after or before?!” Yelena called loudly after a few moments, and Natasha raised her eyebrows a bit as she looked through her things and ensured they had everything they needed to leave.
  “Do it both times! You’re going to need a double dose if you’re not going to smell like that crap that you for some reason voluntarily eat,” Natasha immediately replied to her, raising her voice so that the blonde could hear her.
  “You know what they say to little kids about trying new foods?! It applies to adults, too!” Yelena yelled from her place in the bathroom, a playfully condescending tone to her voice. Natasha just huffed, a smile tugging at her lips as she chose not to grace Yelena’s smart comment with a response.
  “Ey, whaddya fink Ah should wear?” Yelena questioned, her words barely articulated. Natasha looked over her shoulder, taking in the sight of the blonde with a toothbrush in her mouth and foam threatening to dribble down her chin as she held up two different pantsuits. Natasha sighed deeply, looking down at her own dress before looking over at Yelena’s options. Natasha finally pointed at the white pantsuit.
  “That one matches mine,” Natasha pointed at the one of her choice, and Yelena’s eyes softened for a moment before she quickly masked it with her typical impishness.
  “Too ba’, Ah did’n wanta mat’ wif you,” Yelena told her defiantly, her words even more difficult to understand as she worked diligently to keep the spit and foam in her mouth, and then she spun on her heel, heading back to the bathroom. Natasha rolled her eyes, easily seeing through her sister’s bluster.
  Natasha checked the time, and she quickly noted that Yelena would need to hurry if the both of them were going to leave on time.
  “Hurry it up!” Natasha called. “We’ve got to leave in about five minutes!”
  “I’m hurrying!” Yelena responded, her words more discernable despite her distance from the redhead. Natasha with slight irritation noted the fact that the girl’s tone was very much unhurried.
  After a few more minutes and a dangerously close deadline to leave approaching, Yelena came ambling out of the room before plopping down on the couch, a pair of shoes in her hand that she dropped on the floor near the furniture.
  Natasha hurried over to her quickly, aggravation starting to rise within her.
  “Yelena, come on, we’re going to be late if we don’t leave now!”
  “You know, that would be a true tragedy… Almost as bad as not going at all,” Yelena informed her, completely unbothered as she sunk down further in the cushions with a big grin on her face. Natasha sighed deeply before grabbing her sister’s arm and attempting to drag her to her feet.
  “Get up,” Natasha insisted, and Yelena groaned, letting her full weight rest on the couch as she fought her sister.
  “I know you don’t want to go, but—"
  “You don’t either. So let’s just not go,” Yelena proclaimed, and Natasha just stared at her, her light green gaze piercing Yelena’s. Yelena held her stare, maintaining the challenge and firmly refusing to move.
  After a long moment of staring at each other, Natasha quickly yanked her sister’s arm, trying to take her off guard and force her up. However, as soon as she tried it, Yelena repositioned her arm and threw Natasha on the couch, the blonde now standing up over the redhead.
  Natasha quickly started to get up, and Yelena dove for her, landing on top of the other woman full-force and trying her best to hold her down as she grabbed her with her legs. The two grappled with each other, Yelena trying to get a good grasp on Natasha’s arms so she could hold her in place.
  “Come on, you can do better than that,” Yelena taunted, her voice strained and Natasha found that the girl was starting to get the upper-hand on her.
  “I can. I just don’t want to break the coffee table,” Natasha pointed out, moving her head slightly in the direction of the table next to the couch where they were wrestling. Yelena breathlessly laughed in response to the older woman, still fighting her with all the strength she had.
  “You might want to consider wearing a pantsuit, too. It allows for significantly increased mobility,” Yelena said, her honey-green eyes locked onto Natasha’s. Natasha grinned a bit in spite of herself, finding that this was quite fun. It was very enjoyable to just wrestle someone that she trusted so much and knew would not hurt her.
  “Dresses are hotter,” Natasha easily shot back, and Yelena shook her head, a wicked smile coming onto her face.
  “Have you seen me in a pantsuit? People are like, ‘Is there something burning in here? No, don’t worry, it is just Yelena and her pantsuit,’” the blonde cockily proclaimed, poorly mimicking an American accent and deepening her voice, and Natasha laughed at Yelena, her grip weakening on her little sister.
  Yelena took advantage of the opening and pinned Natasha’s arms to the couch cushions. Natasha could not even really be angry as she just looked up at Yelena who had a wild grin on her face.
  “Ha! Pinned you!” Yelena victoriously proclaimed and Natasha just smiled softly up at her, feeling her chest warm with fondness and pride as she just gazed at her little sister. The both of them sat there for a long moment, their chests heaving from the struggle.
  Yelena seemed to sense the mood shift, and her victorious smirk faded just a little into something much softer and more adoring. Yelena loosened up a bit and carefully allowed herself to just lay her torso down on top of Natasha’s, releasing her hold on Natasha’s arms in favor of just relaxing on the redhead. Natasha brought a hand up, stroking Yelena’s back gently before bringing her other arm up to bring her closer.
  Suddenly, to Natasha’s surprise, her phone suddenly buzzed. Natasha moved her hand from Yelena’s back down to the pocket of her dress and withdrew her phone, tapping the screen lightly with her thumb.
  It was then that she was reminded of the party that the both of them had to get to. The fun they just had was plenty enough to distract her from going. After all, she would much rather hang around the house with her best friend than go out and spend time with a bunch of high society snobs.
  There on her phone was a text from Clint asking her if she was coming tonight or not. However, to her surprise, despite her insistence that she was going to come and bring Yelena, he had even added below it that he was perfectly willing to cover for her if she did not feel like going that night.
  Natasha just gazed at the text for a long moment, and Yelena turned her head to see what her older sister was looking at. Natasha activated the keyboard function but did not type as she just quietly considered what she was going to write and what would be her choice. Yelena carefully watched the redhead’s finger and Natasha could feel the hope radiating off of the Yelena.
  Natasha finally sighed a bit in resignation, typing on the phone with her thumb and informing Clint that they would indeed not be coming, and it would be greatly appreciated if he could cover for her. She could feel the smile spreading across Yelena’s face, and Natasha groaned as she repositioned underneath her sister’s weight and moved up further. Yelena’s chin was now laying on Natasha’s chest and Natasha could look her in the eyes.
  It made Natasha’s heart squeeze as she took in the pure adoration, idolization, and devotion in Yelena’s eyes. Natasha was almost sure that Yelena was not aware that her eyes were giving away that much emotion, but it was really nice to just see exactly what Yelena was feeling.
  “Well, are you happy now?” Natasha asked even though she knew the answer to her own question. Yelena smirked a little, narrowing her eyes, but all of the emotion was still within them as she adoringly stared at the redhead.
  “Very,” Yelena replied simply, and Natasha huffed a bit with laughter, shaking her head and looking away for a moment before gazing back down at the lovable little urchin sprawled out on top of her.
  “C’mon, let’s get up and change into something more comfortable if we’re staying,” Natasha started trying to make a move to get up, but Yelena latched herself around her more tightly. Natasha raised an eyebrow, staring at Yelena quizzically.
  “It’s too comfy to move, and if we go change, the spot will get cold,” Yelena protested, and she had that sweet pout that she had always been able to pull off so well. As soon as Natasha saw it, she knew that the blonde now had her wrapped around her finger. Natasha sighed deeply but she just chose to lay her head back and wrap her arms around the girl, enjoying the comforting pressure of Yelena’s weight.
  “Okay… But when your pants start riding up, you’re going to be stuck here.”
  “Eh, a small price.”
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caffernnn · 2 years
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I remember this line from the book where Achilles just cries to thetis "What good is godhead, if it cannot do this? What good are you?" when she refuses to let achilles grieve for patroclus. This was during the time Achilles was starting to regret his choices and find someone to blame for patroclus' death. Now imagine this with haru telling ryuuji that "what good is fame when he's all alone and miserable?" or something like that when he realizes he basically threw away everyone just to reach what ryuuji wants him to be- to be someone like albert, like who ryuuji always wanted to be but could never be.
Also as much as the rrelationship of meleager (the king from the legend) and achilles' stories is comparable to that of haru and ryuuji (or as the theories say), ryuuji would also make a good thetis. I mean, ryuuji is to haru that thetis is to achilles, being both the ones who tried to dictate the young ones' destiny, or so they say. I always thought rin would have been thetis, as per the events of the previous seasons, where he tries to make haru take the same steps as him, and i know i have casted him as odysseus and ajax before (ajax being the latest), i also think rin would be a good deidameia, if we only look at season 1 rin,where he forces haru to do things for him just because he thinks that haru should, similar to how deidameia tried to hold achilles to his bond to him through their unofficial marriage and unborn child. Kinjou is still pyrrha though, no one can replace that.
Also may I ask, have you already read tsoa? If not that's fine. I just found a passage in Circe, another work of Madelline Miller, where odysseus talks about how patroclus was achilles' best part of himself, and when he died, his sanity died with him. I mean, i know nao is officially my odysseus, but this also feels like something rin would say. But then again, nao managed to summarize every character's conflict in hs in what could be a single paragraph should it be written (i haven't read the novels, sorry).
Okay I knoooow I’ve rambled about this before in other convos with you, but that idea of Haru questioning his pride in the end and how much he’s willing to sacrifice in the name of “success” is just so intriguing!! Just from the little we know (or can infer) from FS spoilers, something flips in Haru to make him believe that this path of solitude is something necessary. The choice comes after denying that path multiple times, insisting he could have his cake and eat it too, and then beginning to crumble when he doesn’t think he’s strong enough or getting the results he “needs” to be getting. That’s one of the hardest parts in the aftermath of whatever mess he’s going to get into in the movies (and also in a patrochilles au, or similar stories): even if we can recognize the pressures and constraining environments that led up to his choices, and even if Haru tries in his confused grief to find somebody to blame but himself, these were still his choices. No matter how inevitable they felt at the time, Haru will start to feel guilty for the time lost and sacrifices made in his decisions. Part of the tragedy of it also lies in how Haru knows Makoto would find a way to forgive him for everything anyway, even if Haru wonders how much can/should be forgivable at this point.
I’d love to talk about Albert more at some point, because as much as I view him primarily as a omen-like mirror for Haru, he’s still someone worth exploring. His main function in the story thus far seems to be detached for a reason, that way we focus on those hard-hitting questions about sacrifice/success/isolation/etc with the characters we have more history and attachments to (Haru, Rin, Ikuya, the like). You have to wonder at some point though if Albert has ever had a moment removed enough from his current extreme routine/lifestyle to question his own motivations. How much did he have to give up to become someone who could take his connection with the water and fine-tune it into a cold weapon? Did he have much to return to or reclaim (his own bonds, his own passions) if this lifestyle started to break him? Haru’s story is one where the whole “friendship is magic” redemption storyline is expected and desirable, because we know enough about Haru by now to understand how his intimate connection with the water is interwoven with his history of creating strong bonds through swimming. It’s been a vessel for self-discovery and emotional connection throughout his life. How much time, if any, did Albert ever have to cherish his time in the water the same way before he was trained/led to weaponize it? Maybe the movies will explore more of his background, but I’m down for theories in the meantime 😌😌 (and any existing Albert lore I’m missing out on is welcome, because honestly I haven’t rewatched the show in a ~hot minute~ and haven’t paid much attention to Albert as his own person)
Nao Serizawa, you scary scary dude 🏃🏻‍♀️ he’s not necessarily an all-knowing monolith (people who talk about Nao and write fic/meta about him have all my love for capturing his complexities so well), but he’s one of the characters in that “observant/supportive/people-pleaser” category where you get more overt glimpses into how quickly he can analyze situations. Part of his edge when it comes to being in a guiding/leadership role is that Nao can take in different observations/information about the people he’s looking after and use that to start to making informed claims and decisions. The observations he makes about Haru and Makoto’s relationship come with that added layer of personal relatability that makes them a bit more direct and hard-hitting (I rambled about makoharu/natsunao parallels awhile back), but this insight extends to a lot of the people we’ve seen who look up to Nao in some capacity (baby Iwatobis, Natsuya).
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trashcatsnark · 3 years
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WHY THE FUCK WERE UP SO LATE??? FUCKING UR SO LUCKY I CANT BEAT UR ASS OTHERWISE ITD BE KNUCKLE CITY
anyway, speaking about johnny boy i was thinking about him + nibbles and our like collective desicion that he is essiently a cat and it is really weirdly fitting that it just makes me like ???? so like cats themselves are a reoccuring motif within the game from the start, when u go to viks, when ur chatting up takemura and at the end with the rooftop that also doubles as like the millionith matrix reference. they follow v and they take up the role of the bakeneko, which i think in the game is defined by them appearing near death ? or just disaster. the obvious thing is that it is to do with v's inpending death and their whole sitation but like the general point is like the cat symbolises the death that follows v as the cat follows them. this puts johnny in an interesting sitation from his catlike nature to how he seems to like and get along with nibbles, he is linked with cats. he is also the parasite that is killing v. he is V's bakeneko. their signal of death. the events start because of his relic, jackie dies for him, and soon does most of the cast from act 1, and a large part of the death from then on is a direct result of them trying to solve the relic and johnny's whole presence is a signal for hey v ur fucking dying. he is death for them. the bakeneko.
makes me wonder if his catlike attributes were intentionally done cause that boy aint right or we just accidently walked on a really thematic fitting landmind
Spoilers within, again, also leave my sleeping schedule alone, I do not function. Additionally, I have a lot to say about Nibbles, omens, cats, and pets then how they all relate back to Johnny so congrats on opening a flood gate my friend!
 think the thematic thing with Johnny and cats and the bakeneko has to 1000000 percent be intentional, because he even sees a cat when Alt is kidnapped. And that goes back to Cyberpunk Red. Like that was used and utilized and then became such a large part of the story. 
Johnny is clearly meant to be a bakeneko; he’s actively next to the cat in that conversation, leaves when it does, see the same cat before Alt’s death, and is again the visual representation of what is happening to V. He is the symbol of their death, whether he wants to be or not. 
I think it’s also interesting to note, the Bakeneko, which is described as an omen of death and misfortune isn’t the only way we see cats used thematically within the game. Albeit, this way is more subtle and perhaps intentionally so. We also see the maneki-neko; the lucky cat statues are everywhere in game. In V’s apartment, Misty’s shop, Vik’s clinic. Everyyyyyywhereeeeee. 
So, we see two mythological cats from Japanese culture. One brings misfortune and one brings good luck. And Johnny exemplifies both. 
Johnny is a visual representation of all that is destroying V. His mere existence and presence a constant reminder that their death is around the corner. An ever present omen that V’s clock is ticking. He also often pops up to have a comment just before massive relic malfunctions and disasters. The end of every main game quest is punctuated with a relic malfunction and a lecture from Johnny. 
But without the chip and by extension Johnny, V would already be dead. If the chip hadn’t been the exact right place to be damaged and activated by the gunshot; it would have killed V right then and there. And while this wasn’t an active choice on Johnny’s part, he is the visual representation of the chip. Even then, he later does make an active choice to save V’s life. When V is hit with the worst malfunction yet; Johnny grabs them, “you aren’t dying yet, I got you” and he takes them to safety. He refuses to watch V seize and die in a puddle of their own sick in the middle of nowhere (for me it’s always at the sunset hotel, idk if this changes based on the order you do the events tho) So, he takes control, he eases their pain and takes them somewhere safe, somewhere that means something to him, and swears to die for them. 
Luck both good and bad. Fortune and misfortune. A sign of better days and an omen of death. A maneki-neko and a bakeneko. The time bomb in V’s head and the guy who saved their life. He is both. 
Now, stepping away from the mythological aspects. Lets talk about Nibbles the cat, Johnny, and pets within Cyberpunk 2077. Animals and by extension pets are considered a luxury in Night City. They’re taxed to fuck and back, generally only the wealthy can have them. Its also often brought up that real friends and family who stick by you are very difficult to come by. V becomes through Nibbles one of the rare people to have a pet. One of the other people who had a pet is, Barry their neighbor. 
Barry and his mission is one of the first you can unlock and see in the game. He’s V’s downstairs neighbor and his story is played out so fucking similarly to V’s. Barry lost his best friend, he’s quit his job because he can’t handle the weight of the NCPD’s corruption, and he’s thinking of taking his own life.  V has lost Jackie, its stated in game they get less work than usual because of Konpeki (cant be put on a crew), and very early on can say to Misty “be better off putting in my head”. 
But for Barry that friend ends up being a pet tortoise. And its clear what that tortoise represents; a constant companion, a safe place, and a comfort. Something Barry couldn’t find among his peers until later on when they learn just how much he’s been hurting. And this is treated as such a tragedy, that he only has a pet to turn to. 
And so V gets a cat, because they too are fucking hurting and having a little meowing bundle of skin running around their apartment helps. Something to come home to, something to make that apartment a little less empty, a little more alive. 
So, how does this particular aspect of Nibbles/cats/pets relate to Johnny, I hear you wondering (as well as wondering when Im going to shut up). Well, we know Johnny is linked symbolically with cats and thats the choice of pet for V. And we knows pets have been likened to support without judgement; a companion who you can tell everything too and they won’t abandon you. 
And while Johnny has heaps of judgment and is a dick. He is V’s only constant companion. I know a good junk of people don’t like him or his commentary; but imagine V’s life without Johnny in it through the game events. Imagine how lonely they’d be. 
Johnny is the only one who knows everything and is there with V from the start to the final moments in Mikoshi. 
Vik and Misty know, but they’re no edgerunners, they have no idea everything V is doing out there. Part of why as much as I do love Vik, his frustration with V hurts so much in the end because he talks like V hasn’t done anything to save themselves. Because, Vik doesn’t know what V’s been doing this whole time. 
Each part of the main quests in Act 2 are linked to an NPC; Judy, Panam, and Takemura. And not one of them know or are there throughout the entirety of V’s journey. Judy doesn’t get told the full details of what’s happening until later in and stops helping V one Evelyn is saved. Panam doesn’t learn the full details or anything really about the chip until much later. And her quests become her own personal journey once V finds Hellman. And then depending on V’s choices, Panam can come in to help at the end. Takemura knows V is dying and is there to help with the parade and then he’s gone; either dead or in hiding. He refers to anything that doesn’t involve him as V’s shady dealings and leaves it at that. He’s there to interrogate Hellman but he doesn’t know all V did to find him. None of them know everything, none of them have been there the whole time. And that’s not a condemnation of them, I do not expect them to drop everything to be glued to V’s side 24/7 but, I can’t fucking imagine how alone V feels. 
River has no involvement in any main quests and only finds out anything if V chooses to romance him. Kerry knows what Johnny told him and depending on the ending may even leave V. Again, wanna be clear, that isn’t a condemnation on his character. I understand why he does this and i understand his hurt and how it led him to that. 
But this is about how truly fucking alone V is in all of this. Not a single person there start to finish, not a single person knowing all that they have suffered, all that they have been through and are going through. 
Except Johnny. He tells V in the oil fields, closest to him by far, there 24/7, yet they don’t seem to hate him. And he’s that for V too; there the entire way, their demon never leaving.  Johnny knows everything happening; because he’s part of what’s happening. He’s been there through every struggle, every step, every slap in the face as V’s tried to save themselves. Has felt their pain as they lose themselves, has known the people who’ve had to die for them to get this far, as felt their heart break when all they found was betrayal by the Voodoo Boys, Ai Alt asking how V’s life is her problem, getting recommended a hospice by Hellman. 
And as dickish as he is, his comments help. V always has someone there, as much as he sucks. He always has something stupid or naggy to say to help keep some of that weight off their shoulders. Imagine if they didn’t even have that. If Johnny never talked to them, never showed his face. 
A constant companion, like a supportive pet cat except he can talk and did a lot of meth. 
And this is a sidenote that has nothing to do with cats specifically, but that through Samurai music this isn’t the first time Johnny could be compared to an omen. Its no secret that the music was largely created around the game and as such, many of his songs have direct parallels and messages related to the game. Never Fade Away while in universe written in regards to Alt’s death also has so much in common with his journey with V. This brings me to the song Black Dog.
“Black Dog inside my head, guiding me until the end.”
Black Dogs are figures in Irish Mythology  who much like bakeneko’s are talked about in game; are omens of death and misfortune. I just find it interesting I suppose, like Johnny is either a dirty alley cat or a big mangy dog, but either way he’s here cause someones about to die.
Okay this is well over a thousand words, Imma shut up now. This is probably a mess, but anyone here for coherency is in the wrong place. 
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astermacguffin · 3 years
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Like. Obviously it's NOT for everyone and I totally get that, but I don't think people should really be throwing big value judgments about a fic AND the people who have read it if you haven't even read the fic yourself. (Yes I'm talking about WU.)
Sorry, I really just don't think the accusations of "romanticization" getting thrown about the fic holds to scrutiny when the fic itself takes its time to demonstrate how damaging the events are to all parties.
I've said this before and I'll say it again: the author even takes time to inform the reader ahead of time that the last chapter would NOT be on Dean & Cas' POV, but from an outside perspective. What that means is that this was a deliberate writer's decision.
The author wanted us NOT to end on the incredibly clouded judgment of our main characters and identify with their emotions/reasoning, but from people who can assess the situation from a distance. (There's also the implicit suggestion there that the reader should take the same emotional distance.)
If the last chapter ended on the main characters' perspective, then I guess it would perfectly read as a "happy ending" (and the accusations of romanticization would hold some weight) but it DIDN'T. Again and again, it reminds us of everything these characters have lost due to the events of the fic. It's a darkfic; it reads as a tragic horror, despite how deceptively hopeful the end was.
More elaborate discussion below the cut. (Spoiler warning for With Understanding. TW: Mentions of kidnapping, dubcon/noncon/rape. None of these tags are explicitly described. Minors DNI. Dead Dove: Do Not Eat)
We'll take on the accusations one by one.
1. "The fact that they still end up together at the end means it's romanticization."
Okay. But is it, really? Like, yeah it totally sucks but is it really a romanticization? Why, because they're happy (or as "happy" as one can be in their circumstances)?
I've already pointed out how the outside POV helps remind us the tragedy & horror of the situation, so let's look at this another way.
In the later parts of the final chapter, Cas' friends and colleagues from the BAU talk about if it's better to imagine Cas happy or not. Let's take this approach and look at the ending. Should we wish that Cas is happy with the person who kidnapped and raped him (by virtue of their unbalanced dynamic that invalidated Cas' verbal consent)?
Cas says it himself that he's happy, or at least, as happy as he can make himself be in his scenario. He's not being held against his will anymore, they're both mentally healthier than before, and their power dynamic is not skewed anymore. Despite everything that he's lost—his job, his brother, his normal life, his future—is it better to imagine him happy with Dean or not? To imagine them as genuinely in love, no matter how fucked up their circumstances are?
On the one hand, you want them to be happy. (Dear lord if they didn't suffer enough already.) But if their happiness is being together, do you even want to give them that happiness? Don't you just wanna keep them oceans apart?
The fic definitely doesn't offer clear-cut answers. In a way, it functions as some kind of thought experiment. You can grapple with that thorny question of happiness versus healthiness for as long as you want, but I think you can confidently say that it's NOT romanticization. The fic does NOT endorse their dynamic; it's a fiction that works as a mental exercise on how people might find happiness even in the most awful of fates given to them.
2. "The fic takes all their suffering lightly."
WU never fails to remind us how much Cas has been dealt with an extremely bad hand. The events of the fic are just cosmically unfair to Dean and Cas (the latter most especially).
That part where Morgan talks about fatherhood is SO painful, because Cas was never given a chance to become a father (which, knowing what we know now, is even more tragic). I believe this fic was written before Jack, but even then, it reminds you of how much Cas has lost because of Dean.
Also like. Literally none of it would've had to happen if the supernatural didn't exist (or at least if it was something that was public knowledge). It's soooo unfair. This pattern even continues even after Cas' escape:
Cas could have lived a happy and healthy life and would have never needed to see Dean ever again if it wasn't for that vampire case. (Even so, he wouldn't have needed to approach Dean specifically if there were more available & capable hunters out there.)
Cas wouldn't have needed to lie to Hotchner if they didn't need to keep the supernatural under wraps.
Cas wouldn't have needed to hide for murdering that witch and saving his friend if the supernatural was something he can report.
The fic is just a series of unfortunate circumstances that keep on pushing Cas to a corner and making him run out of choices.
The ultimate tragedy of this is that this horrible chain of events wouldn't have started in the first place if Dean didn't kidnap Cas. All the later circumstances are mostly out of their control, but it's THIS one that Dean had perfect control over.
Dean's therapist in prison even points this out: if he really just wanted to meet Cas, he could've looked for literally any other method that wouldn't involve him kidnapping Cas. Yes, it sucks that his brother is dead and he's wanted for being a hunter, but he could've acted differently. The moment he prioritized himself over Cas' pain is the moment it all started to go downhill.
The other interesting thing about WU is that it's a scarily functional character study. Like, WU Dean makes decisions that are only a few steps away from things that Canon Dean (especially from later seasons) would totally do as well.
Canon keeps on misdiagnosing Dean for anger issues, which is a symptom but not the root cause of his problems. The way that WU instead touches on his abandonment issues and control issues makes it an eerily convincing extension of Dean's behavior in canon.
3. "This being a soulmate fic adds to the romanticization."
I think the soulmate aspect of the fic actually makes it an excellent deconstruction of the concept, NOT a romanticization of the events of the fic. It prompts a perfectly captivating question for a story: "What if you and your soulmate meet in extremely fucked up circumstances?"
Again, I think the fic is best read as a horror-tragedy, which is why I find this aspect of the soulmate interpretation so compelling. Like, if you get to share an eternity in heaven with your soulmate the moment you meet them, then what happens if your soulmate ends up doing all these fucked up things to you?
Concluding remarks
Overall, this is just a fic. It's a destiel darkfic ffs, why are there people casting some heavy judgement to the people who read it? Can y'all like, take a chill pill. You people haven't even read it yet.
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helahades · 3 years
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the sexiest wip list
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alright! reminder that this is a dark fic blog. dark fics are not just noncon, but uncomfortable subject matter and questionable thought processes and unreliable povs. control your media experience and read warnings carefully! they’ll be updated when the actual story releases, but these are wips, and i don’t know them all bc I simply have not finished these stories!
some darker warnings on this list include: threats of sexual violence, obsession, death, and previously mentioned unreliable povs from obsessive characters who justify themselves.
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final reminder to read warnings! some of these are intense.
1) Jealous Thor (Untitled)
warnings: cheating, mean!reader, angst
You’re falling for Steve right under his nose. Each day, Thor feels you pull farther away. Each night, he squeezes his eyes shut as you lie asleep next to him, and tries to forget the way you lookat Steve these days with hunger and adoration that you once gave to him.
“He is earthly. For all his body’s and mind’s possession of unnatural experimental growth, he is earthly and limited, so Thor can’t understand why you’re drawing away from him, and telling Steve the jokes, giving Steve all the looks that had him hooked. The lingering eyes and touches… they ride the line of decency.”
2) Heimdall Angst (Untitled)
warnings: major character death, grief, existentialism, out of body experiences
Connected by incredible wisdom and duty to fate, you and The Gatekeeper of Asgard are pulled together by the unique pairing of your mutual seeing abilities—made for greatness, and destined for tragedy.
This story stretches from the moment that catalyzes your meeting, across the years of loving him, to the moment you lose him.
“A fateful tragedy. He sees an arrow through a dove.
He wonders how he missed your encounter with him in the whispers of the cosmos.
“—They’re star deaths,” you say abruptly, “the ones that move and change color. They speed up when you watch them—show their whole life to come...I read about them. Most can’t ever see them life this”.
Turning to where you stand beside him, his eyes swirl with the magic of knowing you, of your destinies combined. He sees you stare at his stars like they’re new.
“Only us.”
3) Away from the Party - Steve Smut
warnings: smut, dubcon, roughness, manipulation, unintentional exhibition
Steve hates these parties. After a mission, the work has just begun, and he fumes at the impossible way that Tony covers all problems in diamonds and pearls. Some things aren’t meant to be pretty.
You are. You’re soft, and kind, and you coax him gently away from the party—the source of his frustrations, with promises of leaving early, of calming down. Oh. He’ll calm down. And you’re just the toy to help. In a closet a corner away from the government’s finest, America’s golden boy has a hand on your throat and one demand.
“Keep quiet.”
“Of course, you both ended up at the party anyway, but with you swirling cool fingertips at his aching temples and rubbing softly over the stretch marks on his chest, he couldn’t find anything in heart to disagree with you then.
Even now with his erection pressed to you through barriers of clothing, with scarcely retrained and monstrous lust, he is steadily calmed by your presence. This rush, the secrecy—it excites him. And you pull him through the haze of it.”
4) Monster Thor Headcanons
warnings: wound and gore descriptions, some sadness
The fantasy of it all. Aesthetic, Lifestyle, Behavior. Some talking points include: hair, horns, hints about how he was influenced by a soft and charming lover many years ago, general horniness. Also spoiler that I’ve decided that He is 8ft tall
“Thor is...ancient. he is a being of war and folklore and raw energy and he’s earthy and elemental and connected. and form follows function. (and also whatever horny thoughts we want )”
5) The Call
warnings: voyeurism, death threats, obsession, implied sexual assault threats
When Frank comes to visit you, you beam like a sunflower. You’ve rearranged your room, and you’re excited about it. He would like to revel in the moment with you...but he’s caught up in one detail. Your bed is pushed against the window...and he can’t convince you to let him move it.
After a night of sin and wild lovemaking, you lie asleep bathed in moonlight, and Frank wakes to a call. Billy. He’s set up on a rooftop miles away, and he’s got things to say about Frank’s girl and what he’d like to do to her. A red dot on his chest means he can only listen. To your gentle snoring, and to the twisted fantasy of a brother unhinged.
“Black silk pajamas. Hair wrapped up in satin. Yellow light almost like sun stretches to the ceiling, but not quite over the rolling hills of your silhouette turned away from him in quiet sleep.
Frank’s hardly got the time to wonder why he’s awake, because his phone buzzes slow again. Pulls the moment he realizes he will have to break this magic peace to molasses and he half fills his lungs before huffing it out and flipping the phone open and tucked between his ear and shoulder.
“What.”
“She’s a reaaaaal pretty one, Frankie boy. You sure know how to pick em.”
6) Loki Longing (Untitled)
warnings: pregnant!fem reader, angst
On the Eve of the birth of Asgard’s heir, Thor is away. In a bath of flowers and magic to ease your pain, maidens worry over you, and Loki rescues you away, letting you rest in bed, and dreaming of the days when you were his lover instead.
“I’d like to rest…in my bed now, please.”
The ladies look to each other. It hasn’t been long enough for the herbs to take effect.
“My Queen,” the eldest starts—
“She is certainly your queen,” a silky silver timbre interrupts, “I’ve learned it’s best to mind her.”
His eyes fall to your form, and some blocked conflict—some guarded affection rests there. Some longing tucked in a pocket like an impossible secret.
7) With Child - Obsessive Steve
warnings: pregnant!fem reader, obsessive Steve
Watching you content, and very pregnant, as you gaze adoringly at your husband Thor from where you rest, half in his lap, Steve can’t help but fantasize. He thinks about impregnating you, the mechanics of sex with a pregnant woman, and being the god who does it all.
“Do you have to lie on your side? Is Thor just behind you, spooning you, fucking with desperate thrusts because you drive him so crazy this way? Steve has heard—and he doesn’t know where—that women get wetter when with child. Steve can’t help but wonder...does Thor need to hold one leg up for you—to save your back that’s so often heavy with the weight of supporting his legacy?”
8) Dean’s Girl
warnings: unreliable pov (john), voyeurism, masturbation + voyeurism
John notices the way you avoid him. You always seem to leave a room just as he’s coming into it. He’s living in the bunker now, and having to realize a lot of things that have changed for the both of his sons.
For example, his oldest, the last he’d ever think would fall in love, has got a pretty girl that dismisses her practical father in law with pointed boredom. She’s protective—how can he blame her after all that he’d put Dean through?
She’s pretty, and John is only a man, and can’t stop himself from just...looking. It starts with a convenient bend as she unloads the dishwasher...then he..can’t help that the door was open and she happened to be changing right there. He also can’t help it the next time when he’s just a little too obvious, pleasuring himself to the smell of her pretty lace panties.
9) Operator, Operator - Steve Smut
warnings: smut, financial troubles?, mentions of creepiness against and danger to sex workers, exhibitionism via phone call
Underpaid and overworked, you along with your roommate/secret crush/ best friend Steve have trouble making ends meet on minimum wage + his art commissions. When you start picking up calls on a phone sex line, he’s able to reason. It’s quick cash, and Steve is mature enough to keep his thoughts appropriate...at first.
One day, he wakes to the sound of breathy moans and a faked orgasms. He wonders how you would sound if only you were high on real pleasure...and there’s no time like the present. Don’t hang up. This call has only just started.
“By the time this year—junior year—swung around, Steve realized he was only catching glimpses of you. He would hear the shake of your keys when you tossed them on the counter, your backpack when it thudded to the floor, and most recently—your moans.
You must not know he’s home. Ever since you started online sex work, specifically being a phone sex operator, you seemed to also make the silent choice that more graphic calls would be saved for when he’s not around.
He gets it. You both split the rent, and Steve has done jobs he’d rather not mention in desperate times, when commissions came short. Still, sometimes you can’t tell when he’s here, and despite his best efforts to push down his arousal, to tell himself you’re his best friend...he’s an artist, and he can’t help but listen, and certainly not the wandering of his imagination.”
10) Professor Steve Medfet - (Untitled)
In an alternate timeline, a washed up Steve Rogers starts a new life in a run down city as an art / anatomy teacher. A class of hungry college students is filled to the brim each year, expecting the unspoken promise of their favorite hands on lab. You.
You keep his class sated, in turn giving the professor job security for funding his simple life out of the public eye. Each year when he calls, you come. Each year the students find a new way to tear you embarrass and degrade, much to the pleasure of the professor.
“Same speech. Same meaningless words. Focusing on the stillness of your skin and how it feels to be alone, you can almost drown out the way his tone edges toward excitement, the way the chairs shift and squeak—the anticipation.
Pretending your heart doesn’t send heat and cold flashes through you and run your breathing shallow, you look at the nicks in the door and try to guess their stories.
But then the metal frame clicks, the door unlatches. Professor Rogers wears a gentle smirk. It doesn’t ease your mind one bit.”
11) Swelter - Forest God Thor
warnings: sexual scenes, time limited conflict, religious themes
With a sickness overtaking nearby villages, yours is next, and has decided to sacrifice you to the cause of foraging for preventative herbs. You venture into the ancient woods after a rare vine of flowers, but leave with much more after encountering Thor.
After disturbing him where he lies cooling in the bank of a stream, you vow to prove the true intention of your soul—that you aren’t a hunter, or witch after his form or faculty, but a pious girl, also needing to escape the heat.
“You’re in the old woods now, and aside from the trees and the mossy nature tangled around them, there is only Him. Thor.
God of the harvest, bringer of land’s wealth, fertility, and vitality. You know of the sacrifices, of the woods where He is rumored to live in an unseen form, of livid white fire in the sky if He is severely displeased.
His name must not be spoken outside of prayer or ritual, and even now, you stutter to think it, and wonder if you are alone in your thoughts.”
[...]
“The frustration and the fear in your dilemma disturb the air, disquieting the otherwise enduring peace of the old woods, which rouses a large form in the cool muddy bank of the stream. It is only leaves shifting at first. Faded pumpkin and dried oak scatter—and suddenly the air smells like rain and your mouth sets around the tastes of copper and sage. Then, the leaves tumble off of a beast of a mass that rises slowly, and you note that it felt like the atmosphere changed to accommodate its awakening.”
12) Halloween Party - Thor Smut (Untitled)
warnings: smut, heartbreak, depressed!reader
An exclusive and mysterious Halloween party is still on this year—and you’re invited. It’s meant to be so extravagant and flashy an Avenger will one day attend, and all attendees decorate themselves in costumes inspired by the heroes, hoping to be noticed.
Fresh after a breakup with your boyfriend Brock, you take one half of the preordered couples costume and dress up as a goddess, determined to have a good night with your friends, find some excitement, and most importantly, a new god to match.
“Standing solemn, floor to ceiling windows allow in a few milky rays reflected by the moon, but they’re all the gems of your bodice need to gleam to a suitor's eye. Tonight, while you plan to rid your soul of another, you are welcomed with open arms and careful consideration as the final offering at an altar. You are seen by a god.”
13) Grief
warnings: dead!reader, guilt, grief, scary science, how do i say this... smut that is borderline necroph—there’s a replica of you, dark!steve, tony lives, pepper dies
Steve’s world is upside down. He’s lost the light of his life, and is completely in the dark. Luckily for him, Tony is back in the business of reality rejecting technology, and has found a way for him to be with you again.
At an abandoned cottage, Steve brings an armful of your scents to give the Tony’s invention sensory data, and faces the strange reality of what’s always been his worst stage...his worst trait. Denial.
“Dozens of test bottles full of manufactured scents, the kind of thing you smell borrowing a sweater, or with your face in the crook of someone’s neck. Essentially, the sort of organic thing that cannot be recaptured.
Steve’s got an armful of perfume and body wash. Of conditioner and deodorant, of all the elements he can think that make you smell the way you would—the way you do.
He wills the thoughts to be present tense. If he pretends you are alive, maybe it will look like it is you only sleeping. He wonders how well Tony knows the texture of your hair suddenly, because if it isn’t right, the experience will fall to shambles. It currently walks a plank over shambles. One wrong interpretation or surprise, and Steve will find himself spinning and burning with the fall into a new and uncharted taboo.”
14) Night Drive - Dean Smut
warnings: road head
On a long overnight drive, your back pressed into the seat of the impala makes you miss lying in bed with your lover, makes you miss his gentle caress right next to you...so you remind him how good it is to be close.
“You think about it when he hums a little tune. When he hums the song he wishes would play and thinks will come up next, it is eerily soft, and eerily similar to the soft contentment he sighs when you kiss on his neck.
When he reaches for your hand to hold, it makes you consider the shortness of the distance between you, and you think of pulling his cock out right here, giving him head that melts him here on this endless road.
Looking at him, he senses your interest—he turns his head to meet your eyes, throws up a grin of boyish charm. He’s happy to be here with you. These night drives are fine. He’s never minded them. But they’re even lovelier when in your company.”
15) Shadow - The Bucky Mystery
warnings: stalking, injury, sexual assault, canon typical hydra torture, mentions of bucky being forced to assault people, traumatized reader
On the run from Hydra, there aren’t many things that Bucky can remember. Inside his mind, there aren’t many feelings that make sense. Mostly, he feels guilt. Horror.
Following you to the gym where you practice ballet alone in the nights is all that makes sense, and for reasons he can’t explain, he feels drawn to you.
As time goes on, Bucky feels more enticed by his desire, you start to feel eyes staring from the walls, motivations and traumas are revealed, and in a horrible symphony, you both remember your connection.
“He’s a matte shadow against the noir shine of metal walls—an observer in the unlit quiet on his side of the room.
And he feels his unimportance. It’s humbling. Holds up the room like chunky beams and high rafters, dressed in the same layered neutrals. Framing the same cotton candy dancer, silent as the pad of her slippers when she turns her weight onto a straight leg, other coming up with her ankle pointed to the bend of her knee.
She spins, she spins and she whips her head around with each one, but it’s Bucky who gets dizzy.”
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Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
"'What if sometimes there is no choice about what to love? What if the temple comes to Mohammed? What if you just love? without deciding? You just do: you see her and in that instant are lost to sober account-keeping and cannot choose but to love?'"
Year Read: 2014, 2020
Rating: 5/5
Context: It's hard to know where to begin writing a review for this book. I read it for the first time in graduate school in about five weeks (alongside everything else I had to do in grad school, so I don't recommend that), and it basically blew my mind. At the same time, it's hard to imagine tackling it any other way for the first time. Despite its difficulty, there are things obsessive and immersive and, appropriately, even addictive about it. Full immersion might be the only way to read it for the first time, and I obsessed about it for months afterward. Since I'm not on any deadlines, I took it more slowly this time (21 weeks) so I could enjoy the writing and the nuances without the pressure to finish. For my less coherent weekly updates in real time, see my blog posts. Trigger warnings: Everything, everything. Death (on-page), child death, animal death, suicide, suicidal ideation, rape, pedophilia, possible incest, child abuse/abusive households, graphic violence/gore, eye horror, severe injury, drug use, addiction, alcoholism, mental illness, depression, OCD, grief, racism, ableism, transphobia, sexism, inexplicable hostility toward Canadians.
About: If it's difficult to know how to write a review, it's equally hard to describe what Infinite Jest is about. It's about so many things, tennis, addiction, communication (failures), and entertainment among them, but I'll do my best. Beneath all the numerous characters, timelines, and subplots, the main plot is about a film so entertaining that it kills anyone who watches it, robs them of all desire to do anything but watch it until they die, and what a faction of Canadian assassins will do to possess it. The auteur is James Incandenza, a suicide whose son, Hal, is a prodigy at Enfield Tennis Academy. Next door to E.T.A. is Ennet House, a drug rehabilitation center where Don Gately, former thief and Demerol addict, is taking it day by day to stay sober. Though they don't know it, Hal and Gately are connected, and the deadly Entertainment and those who seek it draw their paths closer and closer together.
Thoughts: It's rare to find a book that is actually as smart as it claims to be, but IJ is--certainly much smarter than I am, despite all my attempts to make sense of it. It starts off strong and doesn't let up for several hundred pages, which is a huge achievement all by itself. Wallace excels at writing extremely polished sections that could almost function alone as short stories, and the first chapter is one of my favorites in all fiction. It's reassuring, I think, to start the book off on a strong note, in case we worried we were in for a thousand pages of tedious slog. It can be both, but it's often heartfelt, insightful, and funny as well, and the payoff is well worth the effort. I don’t know how Wallace manages to pack every page with so much meaning. Anybody can put tedious lists in their books or make reading purposely difficult (and I have attitude about writers who do this for no reason), but there’s nothing haphazard about this book, despite its size and varied focus. Everything seems utterly intentional. The conversations are really top-tier; Wallace has a great ear for how people talk, and it's a fascinating look at how communication works and doesn't work.
Thematically, I think the book succeeds on more than any other level, including plot or structure. If we could say this book is "about" anything, we would almost certainly start with the themes and not the plot, which is often secondary to whatever point Wallace is trying to make at the moment. It takes an in-depth looks at things like addiction, depression, loneliness, failed communication, sincerity v. irony, critiques of postmodernism and metafiction (while being very meta itself, at times), and the very specific selfishness of an American culture that insists on freedom even to the point of self-destruction. At times, it feels a little heavy-handed or like it was yanked right out of an intro to philosophy course, but I suppose something in a thousand pages has to be obvious if we're ever going to pick up on it. A lot of these themes resurface in his other work, from "This is Water" and "E Unibus Pluram" to Orin Incandenza's Brief Interview style Q and A (and he would be a perfectly fitting character in that book).
The characters are some of my favorites in literary fiction as well, particularly the Incandenza family and Don Gately, and to a lesser extent Joelle Van Dyne (although Wallace typically doesn’t write female characters very well, and she comes with some issues). Hal and Gately couldn't be more different; Hal excels at everything he's ever done, and Gately has a record that includes accidental homicide on it. Hal is the hero of non-action, since little that happens in the book is engineered by him, while Gately is closer to the more typical hero of action, who defends the undeserving at great cost to himself. Yet their struggles with addiction are similar, and they both manage to be incredibly sympathetic characters. In my opinion, the book is always at its best when we’re with Hal or Gately, but I’m strongly driven by good characters. Despite being dead, James Incandenza's presence is also felt all over the book, from the Entertainment he created to his haunting ETA and sticking beds to the ceiling (probably the weirdest ghost I've ever seen in fiction). He's a tragic character in a book full of tragic characters. The others are too numerous to name, from the other tennis players at ETA and recovering addicts at Enfield, to the various bystanders populating Boston. We get brief glimpses into almost all of them, and while they may not all feel relevant at the time, most are memorable or heart-wrenching or slapstick funny, or all three. It's a book that contains multitudes.
That's not to say it's always on point though, and it isn't. There are a number of very serious problems with representation in this novel, and they're as bad as its detractors claim. A lot of the 90s humor aged very poorly, but that's not an excuse for some of the unabashedly racist depictions of African Americans, the uncharitable descriptions of Steeply's and Poor Tony's cross-dressing, or--however much I love him as a character--the fact that Mario Incandenza’s descriptions are ableist in just about every possible way. Wallace thinks he's capturing "voice" when he's really encouraging harmful stereotypes. The humor of the novel often doesn’t depend at all on these stereotypes and would in fact, be a lot more funny if I wasn’t spending so much energy cringing at it. So many of the little racist and ableist asides could have easily been edited out of the entire novel to make it less offensive. There are also sections where he seems at pains to be as gross as possible for its own sake. There are plenty of things grim or uncomfortable or flat out distasteful about this book, but sometimes the graphic violence kind of jumps out and stabs you in the eye, say, with a railroad spike.
If there are times when I was totally absorbed in the little tragedies of the Incandenza family or Gately's struggles, there are plenty more where it's like pushing something heavy up a hill. No lie, some of it is slogging through tedious minutiae and various experimental writing styles (some more successful and less offensive than others). Wallace has a gift for purposeful tedium; it’s at its peak in The Pale King, but he gives it a nice warm-up round here. The novel is difficult and meant to be, since Wallace maintained that some of the best pleasures are the ones we have to work for, and he's not totally off base. There's something very satisfying about living, for a time, in a book that spans a thousand pages, that demands focus and perseverance, and manages to give back (almost) as much as it takes. The book is always structurally interesting, but it starts to get more complicated toward the end as various characters and plots begin to almost slide into one another. I forgot how frustrating it was to near the end and realize--again--that it wasn't going to wrap up with any kind of satisfaction; the various plots slide, but they don’t meet. I thought if I paid closer attention on a second read that I would pick up more of the plot things I’d missed on my first, but I think the problem is that those answers simply aren’t to be found in the actual text. Of course, they can point us toward various conclusions, and the novel certainly encourages us to speculate and make connections, but I don’t think the actual answers are there.
That brings me to some of my final thoughts, for now. There's no doubt that this is a hugely successful book, and I believe it accomplished exactly what Wallace meant it to do. He jokingly referred to it as a failed entertainment, much the way Jim considered his lethal Entertainment a failure, but I have the sense that Wallace, unlike Jim, failed on purpose. The book purposely pays more attention to structure and theme than it does to plot or character, yet the plot and characters are hugely compelling for what we see of them. Imagine the book it could have been if he had paid equal attention to all of them. Wallace attempted to create a book that people wouldn't want to stop reading. Reaching the end certainly encourages us to begin again, as the first chapter is actually the last in chronology, but that trick only works the first time. By my second read, I realized that starting over wouldn't help me fill in any of those blanks or answer any of my questions, and I was content to let it go. On the one hand, IJ depends upon its structure to tell the story it's telling. On the other, think of the book it could have been if it spent more time telling a story and developing its characters and less time belaboring a point. It's one of the best books I've ever read, and the tragedy is that I think it could have been even better.
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yoongailrecs · 4 years
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Min Yoongi Fic Recs Masterlist
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Note: If some links aren’t working, please feel free to send me a message! I’ll be adding more fics every weekend. Thanks and enjoy!
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@bangtan-dreamland​
One Shots
Rain - angst, a little fluff
“Yoongi spends too much time at the studio, leaving you to wake alone in your house all too often. But it’s okay. After all, it’s all too easy to notice the hints lying around- and the ring sitting hidden in the drawer the biggest clue of all.”
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@chillingtae​
One Shots
Baby Maker - fluff, smut
“Your husband is mildly surprised at your request when he arrives home from work, but it doesn’t take you long to convince him that a baby is just what you both need.”
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@cinnaminsvga​
One Shots
A Boy Like You - fluff
“for whenever you are feeling low, always remember that there is a boy you know who would lift the sky for you.
{or alternatively: Min Yoongi loves you, though he never says it. He’s always been a firm believer in that actions speak louder than any words ever could.}”
Churro Chumps - fluff, humor/crack
“Hey Y/N. If I’m 130 pounds and I eat 1.3 pounds of churros, does that make me 1% churro?” -Min Yoongi, 2017
{or alternatively: two idiots with their two functioning brain cells try to make a Christmas miracle}”
Neighborly Etiquette - fluff, slight angst
“Based on this prompt [x]. You and your boyfriend live across from Yoongi’s apartment, much to his chagrin. Your laughter and dancing and bed creaking were seriously annoying him, until it stops. Then, Yoongi finds himself knocking on your door. And no, he’s definitely not there to comfort you. No way.”
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@dinoyoongi​
One Shots
Home for Christmas - fluff, angst
“Accompanying Yoongi to Big Hit’s fancy holiday party, you take advantage of the open bar and spiked cider to help rid you of your homesickness. Who would have thought that your tolerance for bourbon was so low?”
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@dovechim​​
One Shots
Tsundere - angst, smut
“according to the rumours, min yoongi is a bad apple- doesn’t take grades seriously, drinks as if he has two livers, a certified bad boy™. when you get paired up with him for a project, you’d never expect that someone like him would have a thing or two to teach you about life itself- and how it should be lived.”
Series
The Singularity Theory 01 | 02 | 03 - angst, fluff, smut
“in your last year of undergrad, you find out what a gloryhole is at the expense of your final year thesis. it’s a classic example of a psychology experiment that went way, way wrong.
but how were you to know that a certain min yoongi would be sticking his dick into your life?”
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@floralseokjin​
One Shots
;first and last and always - angst, fluff
“You and Yoongi broke up two months ago. It was mutual, you’re positive, but there’s one teeny tiny issue… You never told your parents, and now they’ve invited you back home for Christmas. Both of you. You can’t say no, but you also can’t bear to go alone, so you do the only thing you can think of, plead with Yoongi to come with you and pretend like everything’s okay…”
drabbles
Hold Me Tight - angst
“the end of a relationship comes slowly but suddenly”
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@gossamie​
One Shots
the things i said when i loved you. - fluff, angst, and a li’l humor
“listen to the past two years of your relationship with yoongi, as told in a series of voicemails.”
twelve minutes in tokyo. - angst, slight fluff
“Yoongi wakes up only to relive the same twelve minutes that ended in tragedy over again. He is quick to realize that this is the universe’s cruel way— or divine intervention— of deciding the fate of his relationship.”
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@ggukieslovin​
Drabble Requests
01 - fluff
“Hii! I'll fill your box 😂😂 So... making out with Yoongi and you're doing crazy with his marvelous tongue and he can't keep his hands off your bubble bum. Have fun ❤.”
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@hiimbo​
One Shots
siren - smut
“you’re willing to do anything to get out of having your license revoked after officer min catches you speeding for the third time this month.”
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@hobidreams
Series
The Early Shift 01 | 02 | 03 - smut, angst, fluff
“your coworker yoongi is always infuriatingly late. except the one time he’s much too early.”
drabbles
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@httpjeon​
One Shots
Show - smut
“yoongi decides to show the boys how he makes his girl cum with his mouth alone”
the cockpile: love birds - smut, fluff
“being an adventurous couple has led you down a strange path of amateur pornography with your boyfriend Min Yoongi. you’re dubbed the Love Birds.”
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@inkofyoongi​
One Shots
Blow - smut, fluff
“Yoongi loves you, even if he’s never said it… but gestures sometimes speak louder than words.”
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@itsamejin​
Series
Goodbye 01 - angst
“Yoongi watched silently as you exited the car and out of his life, but he can’t help but feel a sense of panic at the thought of you leaving him for good.”
Leave Me 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 - angst
“He’s cheating and you’re aware. You just don’t know what to do about it.”
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@jamaisjoons​
One Shots
tongue tech - smut
“Yoongi turns you on with that tongue technology”
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@jiminssizzles​
One Shots
autumn leaves - angst, fluff
“the one where you and Yoongi are lighting fall-scented candles.”
first things first. - fluff, slight angst and crack
“Both Yoongi and Namjoon deserve you, but you can only pick one. What do you do when your bestfriend, Taehyung, put the matter in his own hands, leaving you with no choice but to just trust fate?”
if the world was ending - fluff, slight angst and crack
“The soulmate system works on your side of the world, only it activates after you turn 20 years old.”
Series
Track 2: Afterglow - angst, fluff, smut and a little crack
Part of the Taylor Swift Mixtape Series
“Gail just went to the BTS fanmeet with her bestfriend, Eunice, to see Namjoon. She did not expect that her boyfriend from Omegle will see her there – and that Omegle boyfriend is Min Yoongi.”
Sparks Fly - fluff, slight angst
“It’s Gail’s birthday in a few hours… What do you do, Yoongi?“
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@jimlingss​
One Shots
Primae Noctis - smut
“Marrying Jungkook is your greatest fortune, but before you can leave the land forever, you owe one last favour towards Lord Min. As the lord of the land, he has the right to deflower you and you will happily allow him to do so.”
Series
She’s Testosterone 01 | 02 | 03.1 | 03.2 - fluff, crack, smut
“Drop dead gorgeous, cute and sassy - you adore your best friend. But is there more beneath the surface? Who exactly is Min Yoonji?”
The Truth Between Us 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07  - fluff, angst, drama
co-written by @gukyi​
“a book deal should be the most exciting time of your life, but there seems to be a constant and omnipresent damper on your mood in the form of a certain min yoongi, who you would just cut out from your life, if he weren’t your editor. but then, the world shifts beneath your feet, and you begin to wonder if maybe you’ve always been looking at life from the wrong angle.”
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@joonary​
One Shots
the way to your heart - fluff, humor
“when your office christmas party’s secret santa gives you absolutely no context on what kind of gift he wants, you have no choice but to get to know him better.”
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@joonbird​
Series
Wildest Moments 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 - fluff, angst, smut
“Min Yoongi is forbidden territory. And although you both know better, the two of you just can’t seem to stay apart.”
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@katobobato​
One Shots
Teach Me - fluff
“In which you use learning a language as an excuse to tell Yoongi how much you love him.”
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@knamjooned​
One Shots
Time Skip - fluff, angst, thriller
“34D 14H 46M 57S. 55S. 40S. The soulclock seemed to be skipping numbers, counting down much faster than the other’s soulclocks were. As it began to skip minutes, Yoongi realized he needed to find you before time ran out.”
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@minnpd
One Shots
Dancing With The Devil - smut
“At first, Yoongi was just another handsome face with a charming mouth, stroking your ego while you laughed at his terrible jokes and topped off his drink twice as much as you charged him for. It was fun to flirt with the customers, an exhilarating game of cat and mouse that never went beyond the doors of the club. Until Yoongi.”
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@out-of-jams​
One Shots
A Toast - smut, fluff
“Who cared that you had a whole wedding reception waiting for your arrival? Besides, did they really expect any less when your groom had shown up to the altar with newly dyed black hair and an undercut?”
Series
Cheers If You Agree 01 | 02 | 03 - fluff
“If it weren’t for the fact that he didn’t know who you were or even how to get into contact with you, Yoongi wouldn’t be posting all over Weverse for anyone to see. Not that he thought anyone would be smart enough to put the pieces of the puzzle together with how many people responded to his posts anyway.
Except you. He hoped you could.”
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@personasintro​
One Shots
Next Door - smut, fluff
“Your neighbor doesn’t respect your complaints about him being loud, but you don’t let it slide so easily.”
Stay High - smut, fluff, angst
“You’ve to stay high to keep your ex out of your mind when he comes back into your life.”
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@ppersonna​
One Shots
make me - smut, fluff
“an ordinary sleepover with your best friend turns into anything but ordinary, thanks to your ridiculously loud neighbors above you.”
the landlord - smut, fluff
“your air conditioner breaks right at the height of a recordbreaking heat wave.  good thing your hot landlord, yoongi, knows how to attend to any needs you may have.”
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@scriptaed​
One Shots
behind closed doors - angst
“after falling for your already taken best friend, min yoongi, your confession results in a less than surprising fall out. three years later, you find yourself at your own wedding, except whom the last millisecond of each one of your heartbeats is beating for isn’t the groom; it’s him.”
it isn’t love. - heavy angst, fluff
“it all happened too fast. first, he held you in his arms in the couch of your living room, and next, he had packed all of his belongings and left you to an abandoned apartment without warning. now, he’s known as suga of bts and the only way you can cross paths with the renowned star once again is to win a date with his bandmate, kim namjoon.”
tell me that you love me. - angst
“sometimes letting go is the hardest thing to do - a cruel lesson that comes crashing on the both of you when the unexpected occurs: a mutual fall out of love.”
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@searchingtae​
One Shots
Morning Star - angst
“When Yoongi fell from heaven, he never once regretted the reasons leading up to his fall. What he does regret was bringing you into this.”
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@softlyjiminie​
One Shots
nine months from now - smut, angst, fluff
“this was not supposed to happen. this was never in the plan. a sudden, unexpected turn of events leads you into a world of baby bottles and baby grows, it just so happens that the cause of this mess is your boss…min yoongi.”
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@sugalarity​
Drabble Requests
01 - angst, fluff
“i'm not sure if you do requests, but can you please do a yoongi drabble that is a soulmate!au? something with shooky shooky keeps on playing in yn's head on repeat and yoongi is kinda annoyed because he hears it too. but for a twist, make it angst. 😂”
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@thestorytellerofkpop​
One Shots
In My Head - angst
“Yoongi is slowly distancing himself away from you, and you can’t help but fall victim to the insecurities in your mind as you can’t help but ask: why?”
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@yeontanismypresident​​
Series
I’m Done 01 | 02 | 03 - fluff, angst,
no summary
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@yoonia​
One Shots
Undo - angst, smut
“You were his soulmate, that part he knew well. Until one day he didn’t want you anymore. He couldn’t, when all he could see from you was light and all he felt within himself was darkness. Your love has gone cold as he retreated from you, burying himself deep in the dark. But what happened when Yoongi had to watch you start over with somebody else, when Yoongi let his selfishness gain control on him of you.”
drabbles
Series/Drabble Request
Reflections 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 - angst
“Yoongi + “How could I ever forget about you" + Angst | for anon”
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@yoongi-sugaglider​
Series
Forget Me Not 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 - angst, fluff
“Yoongi + “How could I ever forget about you" + Angst | for anon”
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69 notes · View notes
nezumiismissing · 4 years
Text
Overcoming Similarities and Fear of the Self: A Lesson in Socialization
Ok so I'd like to start out by saying that this isn't going to be nearly as pretentious and academic as the title makes it sound, but I couldn't let go of how good it sounded (and since it’s me it’s at least a little pretentious and academic), so here we are. But anyways, onto the topic at hand.
Like most stories, No.6 focuses immensely on fundamental differences between people and places, and how those differences lead to conflict that either brings those groups together or destroys one or both of them. On a large scale, No.6 tells the story of the conflict between the West Block and lower classes of citizens, and the institution of No.6 itself as created by the city's elites. On a small scale, we see this larger issue of sociopolitical conflict reflected in Nezumi and Shion and their relationship as it develops throughout the story. This individual conflict is mostly philosophical, with each character having their own experiences with No.6 and therefore differing opinions as to what, if anything, needs to be done about it. However, these differences in experiences, and how Nezumi and Shion were taught to view the world, function not only as a reflection of larger scale issues, but also reveal how they form their opinions about both the world, and especially in Nezumi's case, each other.
Right from the beginning of the story, we are shown, and expected to accept, that Nezumi and Shion are fundamentally different, that their experiences are so drastically different from each other that outside of a certain level of compromise, they will never philosophically align with one another. But I think there’s more to it than that. Because even though this difference is what drives the entirety of the plot forward, acting as a micro level version of the wider sociopolitical conflict, one of the overarching themes of the story, that humans are fundamentally the same, or at least equal, no matter their experiences and beliefs, directly contradicts what is otherwise a story of dichotomies, creating not a grey area open to interpretation, but a single truth that must be accepted in order to accept the events of the story.
And here is where we get to the part where I ramble on about the complexity of Nezumi’s character and how it informs not only his actions, but his emotions as well. Specifically, Nezumi’s “fear” of Shion that develops throughout the story on the surface appears to be based on the fact that not only have they had vastly different experiences, and therefore view No.6 and its issues significantly differently, but also that because of these differences Nezumi is, for the first time, recognizing that there are things about the world and other people that he does not fully understand. By defying Nezumi’s expectations of what a citizen of No.6 should be like, and demonstrating his individuality and ability to defend himself, Shion proves that people are more complex than they often first appear, have motives outside of basic survival or corruption, and can behave in ways that to an outsider seem completely irrational. Looking at it this way, Nezumi’s discomfort with and eventual fear of Shion make perfect sense, as he appears to Nezumi to be someone who is now completely unknowable and irrational. However, Shion’s insistence on that theme, that humans are fundamentally the same, highlights a completely different idea: Nezumi is not afraid of Shion only because of their differences, or because he is an unknown entity, but also because through his interactions with Shion, Nezumi is forced to face the fact that perhaps they are actually quite similar, and that the one who was unknown all along was himself.
Throughout the story, we get very few, if any, chances to see Nezumi do any kind of self reflection. He has already figured himself out, he knows how the world works and what kind of people inhabit it, and no matter what may happen, he is able to approach it calmly and make completely rational choices. Except when it comes to Shion. From the beginning, Shion is so drastically different from what Nezumi is used to that there is no rational approach to take other than to simply observe him and try to decipher what he may be thinking at any given moment. Unfortunately for Nezumi, this is a task that remains impossible for him until he recognizes that there is a crucial part of his understanding of the world that he is missing, and why it is that he does not have it. This lack of understanding ties into many of Nezumi’s actions that to Shion, and us as the audience, appear irrational, specifically relating to why he leaves at the end of the story, as well as why he spends the majority of the story constantly contradicting himself and acting in ways that go directly against what he preaches earlier on to Shion.
This is especially apparent as we approach the end of the end of the story, when Nezumi’s focus on Shion shifts away from teaching him to survive, and instead towards preventing him from becoming too much like Nezumi. Part of this is of course, as the story points out, because to a certain extent Nezumi still sees Shion as an outsider, one who should not be enacting violence and should instead be protected. This is obviously uh, not a good and healthy way to think about another person that is supposed to be equal to you, but I think it also speaks to how Nezumi has grown through the process of self-reflection, even though this process remains unfinished even after the events in Beyond. Because I don’t think that Nezumi’s insistence on keeping Shion the same as he’s always been (which obviously also shows a lack of understanding of Shion as a person, and just people in general) is just about his desire to protect him, but rather a fear that if Shion becomes too much like him, then Nezumi’s actions and beliefs will have become externalized and projected in a way that forces him to face himself and all that he has done in his life. By this point in the story Nezumi has realized that some part of who Shion is as a person is also a part of himself, and Shion’s actions have shown that the reverse may also be true. Thus the possibility that further similarities will arise becomes likely, and out of fear that he does not actually fully understand himself, as well as an inability to self-reflect in a constructive way, this fear is taken out on Shion in the form of attempting to prevent him from changing in any way, in the hope that it will prevent the revealing of any more similarities, and therefore the further deconstruction of Nezumi’s sense of self. In other words, Nezumi’s desire to see Shion not change in the Correctional Facility is less an attempt to protect Shion from “reality” (which yes he does also want to do), and more a coping mechanism for Nezumi as he struggles with his own identity.
Now this is not to say that Nezumi and Shion are exactly the same, or that they should be interpreted as such, or that they will ever become exactly alike. Rather, it is more about the idea that all humans (with some exceptions of course) have the same or similar capacity for certain emotions/understandings of the world, and that what differentiates us from each other is not some innate difference that can never be overcome, but instead a result of socialization that, while not entirely able to be reversed, can be in many cases overwritten and changed through a continued process. In this specific case, for example, we see that Nezumi and Shion are both capable of strong feelings of empathy for other people. However, whereas Shion is entirely comfortable with processing this emotion, because of the way he was socialized (raised) by both the old woman and Rou, as well as a result of severe trauma, Nezumi has no real foundation for understanding human empathy, and so when he does experience it, his immediate reaction is to reject and rationalize it rather than attempt to process it, which would result in him having to fundamentally change his world views. Nezumi’s socialization also forms his conceptualization of the unknown as something to be feared, as the environments he was raised in required things that were unknown (such as No.6) to be seen as a threat rather than an opportunity to learn and develop. Thus the appearance of Shion, as well as his “strange” behavior brought over from No.6, serves as both a deep fascination for Nezumi as something that questions his construction of “humanity”, as well as something to be feared due to its existence outside of this construction.
Just to tie it all together, this is a huge part of why Nezumi ultimately has to leave at the end of the story. Just like every other person who has written about the ending has stated, Nezumi needs time to reflect and heal from his trauma, and that is something that is fundamentally impossible for him to do in the presence of either Shion or the remnants of No.6. After spending the majority of his life crushed under the weight of (and then forced to question) something that is both unknown and the source of his suffering, what he needs is the comfort of an unknown that fundamentally still fits into his preexisting world views while still leaving room for exploration that is free from the influence of others. Most of his life has been spent under the strict influence of those who raised him, who taught him that the world is ultimately a place of suffering, violence, and tragedy, that his trauma was justified, but normal, and nothing would ever fundamentally change about that world. The short period he did spend alone was time when he was too young to really be able to question that idea, and it instead became cemented in his mind as the “reality” he presents to Shion. Shion, on the other hand, so significantly disrupts this pattern that Nezumi is unable to rationally respond, and instead of taking the new information into account, resists it in self defense, not wanting to recognize that what he thought was reality only really existed in his mind. He needs an in-between place, a place where he can be alone with his thoughts and reflect on his life without the interference of people who he feels strongly connected to, who might influence his processing. He needs a place where he can not only recover from his trauma, but also the fear his socialization has resulted in that ultimately ended up only being the fear of his own humanity.
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Text
Oooh boy, i remember announcing this prompt awhile ago and just had everyone immediately worried about it, only to not even write it right away. Dang that was a while ago. It's almost been a month jesus O-O.
I decided to post this without the ask attached so the whole story won’t be spoiled. But oh man did I have to rewrite this so many times, the concept was really interesting to the point it ended up being something completely different to the anonymous ask. But that’s writing for you. It’s also probably the longest fic I’ve written so far.
It kinda didn't feel like it had the "angsty" effect I wanted it to have when writing this, it's one of the reasons why it took so long to get this finished. I don't know, what do you guys think?
This is pretty much this is a What-if? fic that revolves around Robotnik when he manages to come back to earth.
Warnings: there's some mild swearing in this fic.
I'm a Survivor.
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“My sanity still.....remains completely absol-....Oh would you just shut up over there!” Ivo laid on the top of a mushroom as held up his hand and clutched his fingers with the other.
“Oh Terry, could you please shut that brat up?” He turned his head over to a medium sized mushroom, next to it a smaller mushroom.
He raised his arms up in annoyance. “I don’t care that brat has a ear infection! He’s been crying for almost two hours now and it’s getting on my nerves!”
He let his arms drop at his side as he closed his eyes, the heat of the sun burning forehead and causing sweat to drip down his face.
For the past couple of weeks, the mad scientist had been wandering around aimlessly through the fungal jungle in search of resources for supplies and hopefully for a way back home.
He lifted his wrist to look at his daily log. “It’s now been 86 god forsaken days since that blue rat sent me to me to this place of the mushiest of rooms.” He moved on his side, propping his head on his hand. “But luckily, you’re the only one that’s keeping me sane agent Stone.”
Turning his head, he smiled fondly at the oddly craved stone lying right beside his head. “You know what it’s like here, no humans, no animals, no garbage trucks that purposely wake you up early in the morning to ‘get the garbage cans’ when they can easily do that in the morning!”
He sighed as he sat up, picked up the stone and held it out in front of him. “One day We’ll come back to that beautiful blue planet of ours and make all of them pay, those fools that mocked me, the entire military that found my inventions to be highly dangerous and tried to hide me away.”
He adjusts his hold on the stone as he rises up to stand, raising his fist in the air. “Oh but I will show them, I will make them pay and show to everyone what happens when you banish the most dangerous mastermind in the entire cosmos!”
He snapped his head at a nearby orange mushroom and gasped dramatically. "I am not being overdramatic Jerome! They obviously know what I'm capable of!"
He pauses as he continues staring at the non verbal fungus, letting out a growl as he made his way closer to it. "Oh you’re one to talk! I can see why Karen left you for Javier! You're always being so obnoxious!"
He glares at ‘Jerome’ for a few more seconds before letting out a huge yell, grabbing the stalk and ripping it out of the ground.
“MY WEIGHT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR REAL ESTATE! THAT WAS YOUR MISTAKE!”
He threw the mushroom and watched as it bounced against the surrounding fungi, disappearing from sight as it fell deeper into the jungle below.
Panting heavily, he turned and pick up agent Stone and cradled it close to his head. “See what I mean? This is what happens when people don’t use the full integrity of their brains? They end up like Jerome, falling into a endless pit of dispair and failures.
“I hope I did you proud Karen.” he murmurs as he walks stiffly by the two mushrooms, avoiding eye contact.
He looked down at his makeshift pack of ship debris, sitting on top was a broken clear tube, containing a thick, giant blue quill inside it.
He stared intently at the pile as his brain worked through his thoughts. He slowly grasp the tube and stares at its faint glow, still beating with the pure energy.
He smiles a crooked grin as he faces the sun setting on the horizon. "And I can't to finally spread what we have discovered to the world."
=======
Date log: 4@# days since banishment.
Sparks and sounds of zapping echoes throughout the vacant area as Robotnik put the finishing touches on his makeshift portal. He cleared his throat, hoarse from the dryness of the air as he sat back on his knees underneath his smelly, makeshift hut.
"Calibration is at 69.9 percent, dimensional vortex is stabilizing and water rations have officially run out." He drinks the last mouthful of water as he tosses the container away and continues to work on the machine.
"This is the day my young tablet friend, today is the day the world will scream my name with horror and praise! He looks over to the corner of the hut where "agent Stone" is, who was placed on cushion made of mushroom tops.
"Behold, to what is to be one of my greatest creation, a portal to another world." He backs up in awe as he looks at at the machine.
"I'll admit it's smaller than I would've like it be." The machine in question was a small circle shaped design and was only less than two meters in height and size, with the quill as the main power source, still flickering on the ground near it. "It's going to be a tight fit, but it's better than nothing."
He pauses and looks over to agent Stone, walking over slowly and picking it up. "There's one mishap in our success, Stone." He shifts the rock to the crook of his arm. "The portal only has enough energy to transfer only one form of solid mass to our destination....and it's a one way trip."
Even though he managed to get it operational, he soon found out that the power wasn't enough for it to be fully functional for travel hopping. "Unfortunately one of us is going to stay behind."
He glances down at the stone solemnly. "I know this is a tough decision, for the both of us. We've been through alot for these past...." he quickly checks his data log on his wrist. "Five hundred and......something days, now we have to part ways and tell our stories to those who will wonder what we were before this tragedy."
He dramatically puts his hand to his head, closes his eyes and sighs. A moment of silence passes before he peeks a eye at the stone in his arm and tilts his head.
"I literally just poured my heart and soul out to you in a matter of pure respect and the only thing you say in reply is how I managed to survive this whole ordeal with proper food or nutrients?"
"You're making it real hard for me to feel sorry for leaving you behind." His face then morphs into a look of anger. "What makes you think anyone will listen to you? No one here can actually hear you except for me!"
His arms start trembling as he shakes the stone back and forth. "You already know I had to burn my shoes each night for us to keep warm, eat parts of my flight suit, the fact that I need to look at these unshaven legs already disgusts me! Do you really like to mock my distress? You know what happens when you mock me!!!" He starts to squeeze his hands against the rock before droppping the stone completely on the ground, backing up and stares at his hands in shock. "I...*pant* I didn't want to do this, but I have no other choice."
He makes his way towards scraps of unused parts. Getting down on his knees, he starts to spark to wires together and holds them near a small patch of grass.
"No one can figure out what has happened here, it's too risky." He waved a hand over the small flame that ignited and added more grass to it. "I hope-...i know you will understand."
Flames start to climb from the grass to the fungal walls as smoke begins to fill the small space. He coughs as he turns on the machine and waits in anticipation as it hums to life and the blue vortex appears in front of him.
"I'll admit that was nice, having you around all this time. Helping making sure I always kept focus, words of encouragement and your killer chilli stew on Tuesdays." He laughs as the scent of the smoke makes his throat burn. He gets down in his stomach and backs his feet in first towards the opening, he turns his head towards Stone, still laying sideways on the ground.
"Make sure you keep listening to that rock-connaissance, Jerome is still out there looking for me and you'll need it when he comes back." He looks the stone one last time, crawling his whole body through into the vortex, with his hand reaching out to snatch the quill before he disappeared completely.
=======
The first thing he saw was brightness, due to the natural, obscure lighting of the mushroom planet, his eyes weren't adjusted to Earth's natural light. He felt his arms dangle above his head as he rapidly blinks his eyes and warps his head around. Even at the odd upside down angle, he managed to get his body through little by little.
Wiggling his body around, he eventually fell face first onto the ground as his legs plopped down after him. Letting out a pained groan, he rolled onto his back as he saw to vortex slowly close with a few vapors of smoke spilling out if it before closing completely. A loud, sharp bang echoes as it disappears, shaking the windows and triggering car alarms on street, causing a few of the people to cower and run from the scene.
Despite the brightness of the sun, all he felt was coldness on the side of his body, he could feel the roughness of it's texture, rocks? No, pavement. He groaned as he pulls himself up in a sitting position and looks around. He could see that he was in a open section between two buildings, trash cans and dumpsters took up the space and sidewalk near the leading towards an open road in front of him. An alleyway. He looks past the alley and sees large machines with wheels driving from the left of right. Cars
"Yes...YES!!! HAHAHA!!! IVO ROBOTNIK IS BACK TO RULE THE WORLD BABY!!! He danced around and spun in circles as he caught the attention of a few people walking past the opening, either walking away or stopping to film the crazed man.
He put his arm against the wall to regain his balance as he caught his breath. He checked his wristband and honed in on his current location, after a few painstaking seconds, he saw the text of where the portal had taken him.
Green Hills, Montana.
He felt his grin widen as he chuckled. "So we're back to the place of origin of the battlefield?" For months he always dreamed of getting revenge on those who dealt with him, memorizing their names and faces so he absolutely knew who to make suffer.
Tom....
Maddie....
Wade.....whiplash?
....Sonic......
"That hedgehog....if he's still here..." Walking slowly, he near the end of the alley, still ignoring the few random people filming him. "The energy from the portal gave off is likely to alert someone from the government or even the national guard. Once they come, it's a huge possibility that they could have me arrested due to all that collateral damage I managed to do in San Francisco....eh I'll just blame it on the govenor."
"Officer! Officer! He's right over here!" His head snapped towards the end of the road as he hears a woman yell and point in his direction, alerting two sheriff officers. “Ó, gāisǐ de” He quickly books it down the sidewalk and onto the clearing of the street. He ignores the pain of rocks and debris on his bare feet as he pushes past pedestrians walking on the side walk.
As he ran, he looks back to see how many are following him, causing him to bump into a small figure and crashed to the ground. A high pitched voice cried out in pain as he got back and swipe a quick glance at the person, he only caught a glismp of their abnormally pink hair as he continued to run.
One of the officers, who was tailing behind the others stopped and checked on the person on the ground, a small rabbit girl near her was helping her stand up. "Hey, you alright Amy?" She rubbed her head as she looks up at the officer. "Yeah, I'm alright Wade. Who the heck was the maniac?"
"I have a feeling I know who it could be. It's best if you go and take cover at the veterinary, this guy isn't a normal case we usually deal with." She nodded as she took the young girl's hand and ran the opposite direction as Wade continued after the others.
=======
"Hey you! Stop!" He kept pushing forward as he cut through the crowd, ignoring the weak, tired feeling in his legs. He changed tactics by running into traffic, nearly getting clipped by passing cars on both sides.
He banked left and ran into a parking lot, serpentining through the parked vehicles. 'My lab should be still around the area hidden in the woods, if I can get there...' The voices of the officer tailing behind him interrupted his thoughts, followed by sounds of sirens wailing in the distance.
'Oh great! Just what I need right now.' He continued to jog through the area until he got to a clearing leading a abandoned warehouse, a ravine flowing with water that leaded into the wooded area right behind the building.
He ducked through the entrance and climbed on top fallen pillars and broken machinery. Putting his hands on his knees, he panted heavy as he stood in the middle of the building.
He could hear the officers voices and their radios through the thin walls. "Geez this guy's fast! Someone radio in officer Wachowski! Tell him we need backup!"
He ran up one of the nearly broken steps to one of the main floors, peeking out the windows as more squad cars showed up. "Wachowski huh? Seems like he's still in charge of this sorry excuse for a police squad."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out the blue quill, gleaming with malice. “Well, he’ll be in for quite a shocker once he sees me again.” With that, he took off his wristband and started gathering metal scraps that littered the floor before running into the darkness of the stairwell.
=======
Choppers started to hover in the overcast sky around the area as news anchors arrived on the scene and police put up barricades to hold back curious citizens from getting to close while Wade was going over instructions to one of the deputies in the parking lot.
"Marlo, do we have the whole perimeter contained?"
"Yes sir, we have squadrons of three placed at each corner of the building in case he tries to run again."
"Good, any word from officer Wachowski?”
“We’ve been trying to radio him in, he hasn’t responded yet.”
“Well he’d better get to it, because knowing how this man is from experience, he won't stop at nothing."
"What do you mean from experience sir?"
"I took literal a shot at him the first time he came here, I missed but it was a pretty close shot."
"Officer Whipple!" Wade turned his head towards a young voice, looking to see a small, yellow figure running at him.
"Miles? What are you doing here?" A young yellow fox skidded to a stop in front of him, his double tails faltering behind him and pushed his goggles off his eyes as he caught his breath.
"You shouldn't be in this area right now, We just picked up that-"
"I know *pant* I was the one that *pant* sent that analysis in."
"You what? How’d you- Wait a second, all the schools are on lockdown, how'd you even get out?"
"Don't worry about that. I didn't set anything on fire this time."
He crossed his arms. "Do your folks know that you're out here?"
"Ehm, no. I just wanted to see if the analysis was accurate.....is it really him?"
He looked at the kit with a grim expression. "I'm afraid so kid." He saw the child's shoulders tense and fur ruffle on his back as he backed away and went on his handheld.
Before he could console him, another officer called him over from a nearby patrol car. "Hey! Make sure you stay behind the barriers ok?" He sees Tails nod in response as he leaves.
After looking to see that Wade wasn't watching him, he quickly ducked behind a vacant patrol car. Putting in a ear piece, he dialed the contact on his Miles Electric. After two rings, a low voice finally answers.
*Hi Tails. If you’re calling me about the reason why your show wasn't recorded from last night, it was Tom, he didn't want you to be upset about it since he knew it was the season finale and-*
"I'm calling you cause i-Hold on, it was Tom that did that?"
*Yeah...sorry bud. He didn't want to ruin your day.*
"Ok no, that's not why I'm calling. Haven't you heard what's been happening? I thought they were calling you into the field?"
*Yeah they still are, I'm in North Dakota right now.*
"Why the heck are you over there?
*Hey, it's my lunch break and I decided to see a different setting today. Oh I wanted to tell you, they're having this career expo over here during this weekend that I think you'd like to go to since you wanted to-*
"Ok Sonic, I'm gonna stop you right there. You’re not going to believe what I just found out. I-"
*I'm guessing you're calling me about that strange anomaly your scanner picked up earlier?*
"Yes, actually and i don't know why you sound so calm about something like this."
*Probably because everytime we do get something similar to it, it's just another person from our species from our home planet seeking sanctuary so they can live here safely. So I apologize if I'm getting somewhat numb to this.*
Tails huffed at the lazy tone in his voice. “Sonic I'm being serious! This isn't like the time I came here, or even when Knuckles or Amy came here. This is something stronger, like it came from a farther distance."
*I mean I don't think there's any other people that come from another planet that could travel here, not without rings that is.*
"That's the thing, they didn't have the same energy structure like the warp rings. The type of energy they used....are the same ones that your quills give off when you power up."
Tails could swear he heard a sharp intake of breath as he waited for a response. *....What do you mean.....that it matches my energy?*
He lets out a heavy sigh before speaking. "Sonic....he's back."
The silence followed was so deafening, he could hear his own heart pounding in his ears, not even the sounds of the radios or sound of the choppers whirling in the distance could break it. "Sonic, are you still-?"
*I'll be right there.* With a rushed voice, he hung up the call. Tails stared at the picture of call ended as he let out a breath. “Oh man.”
About 20 seconds later, he could see a thin trail of blue closing in and braced himself as a figure appeared near him before he could blink.
The hedgehog’s fur had a more scruffy, wind blown look around his head and torso, sports tape that was wrapped around his forearms, had on a black t-shirt with a gun holster vest, which was empty for a simply more stylish look, and brown belt around his waist that held a pouch and a visible walkie talkie.
His gloves had a black outline, with white coloring around his fingers and palms, black knee pads and wore puma running sneakers, still keeping the red and white color scheme. A single gold ring hung on a chain around his neck, moving side to side as he approached the fox.
Tails stood still as he watched his brother walk toward him, his face neutral and his movements calm. Sonic gave a slight smile as he came over, wrapping Tails in a loose one armed hug. “Hey man.”
He awkwardly pats his back in return. “Hi, did you change clothes on your way here?”
“Yeah.” His voice sounded monotone, as if he was keeping his emotions in check. “Have you heard anything from Tom?”
“Oh, I overheard Wade say that he’s on the other side of town helping with a house robbery report, I don’t know when he’ll be here.”
“Hmm-mmm.” He kept his back turned to him as he continued to stare towards the building. “What about Knux or Ames?”
“I was talking to Amy on my way here, she’s with Cream at Maddie's job and I think Knuckles is with Tom right now.”
“Ok.” Walking closer to him, he could see Sonic’s jaw tightening, a slight scowl on his face as he crossed his arms. ‘I’ve barely seen him like this, each time he acts like this, he seems like a different person.’
“S-Sonic?” He mentally cursed himself as his voice came out in a timid whimper.
“Yeah, what’s up?” He turned his head, his eyes soften, his intense presence almost gone in a instant.
“Um....Do you want any he-.”
“No.” He interrupts him with a sharp voice before clearing his voice and speaking again. “I know you want to back me up in there, but I can’t let you do that. Not for this one.”
“But...Why not for this one? What if he tries something that catches you off guard?”
“He won’t catch me off guard. I fought him before and I managed to get rid of hi-.”
“You don’t know that! I can at least back you up in there so you won't be alone." He could feel his heart race as his voice rose in pitch.
"Tails-."
"No! I'm not letting you go in there alone!" He yells right at him, his voice cracking slightly. Sonic flinches at the unexpected tone before taking the fox by the shoulders and leading him away to a more quiet spot, all the while avoiding the confused glances of the other officers.
"Ok, just take a breath." The cub obliged as Sonic kept a hand on his shoulder. "What's going on?"
"I...just think that it’s a bad idea for you to go in there alone."
"Tails listen to me, this guy is a serious deal. He almost managed to kill me when he first found out about me, he was the first ever person to keep up with me at my speed and he threatened the lives of Tom, Maddie and everyone in this town if I didn't go with him. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here right now."
"I don't want to lose you too, not to someone like him, not again.” His voice became quiet and closed his eyes, as if to hold back tears. Even without an full explanation, Sonic knew exactly what he was referring to.
The young kit had come to this world, looking for him in particular to help save their homeworld. Their efforts weren't enough as the enemy was much stronger than they anticipated and eventually lost the battle, including the planet, with pockets full of mobians coming into the town of Green Hills bit by bit in search of sanctuary.
During all of this, Tails ended up losing his parents in the chaos, turned into metallic slaves among the hordes of lost citizens who suffered the same fate.
Crouching down, he clasped his small hands in his as he spoke softly. “I know you're worried about this, trust me I am too." He gently lifts his head up so he could make full eye contact. "But after what happened here, after what happened to Mobius....I want to make sure I don't make that same mistake again, I don't want you to go through that again."
Tails held his gaze for a few seconds before nodding and wiping his eyes. "O-ok, I g-got it." Soni pulled him into a tight embrace, feeling relieved that he felt him return the hug.
His eyes lit up as a idea popped into his head, he patted Tails back as they pulled away. "Hey, does your Miles Electric still have that 25 foot signal radius?"
"Um yeah it still does, why?"
"I know how you can help me."
=======
*Can you hear me all right?*
“Loud and clear buddy, just waiting for the all clear from Wade."
*Copy that.* Tails watched from his spot on the roof of one of the surrounding houses, typing in data on his electric as Sonic neared the cleared entrance. ‘I’m not sure what I should be even feeling right now. I don’t feel scared but-.’ He gripped and ungripped his hands as he tapped his foot. He closed his eyes and breathed in and out. “It’s going to be fine.” His eyes snapped open as he heard his walkie go off on his belt.
*You're all clear officer Wachowski, we'll send in two squads after you go in. good luck in there.*
"10-4." He turned the walkie off and trudged into the warehouse. Stepping lightly, he glanced around at pillars and empty rooms, listening for any sound he could pick up.
He jumped slightly as a tiny voice activated in his ear. *Is everything going ok in there?*
He sighed annoyingly. “Yes, so far nothing's in view. Just make sure you watch for anything I can’t see, I need my full ears on this one."
*Oh ok, sorry.*
He cracked his neck and quickly stretched his arms and legs before zipping up to a visible steel bar. Thunder rumbled in the distance as he looked around at the endless rooms of scrap metal. 'Geez intense mood setting much?'
Using his speed, he glanced into each room and staircase as he searched for any sign of the doctor. He got to a inner stairwell as he noticed a footprint of a bare foot on the wet ground. 'Well either that's him or some barefoot hobos have been living here.' He speed to the top and stop near the entryway, perking his ears towards a slight clatter in the hallway.
He cautiously moved forward through the dimly lit hallway as he felt his heart beat in his ears. He lightly slapped his face as tried to control his breathing. 'Come on man get it together! You can't hear anything if you just hear your blood pressure going up.'
"Hello hedgehog." He yelped as he heard the all too familiar voice come from behind him, he jumped into a fighting pose while turning around, he saw nothing but continued to hear the voice. “I was expecting dear old Thomas to join me today, but I this is so much better.” Sonic heard a heavy object fall behind him and spun around to see a wooden pillar had fallen.
“Oh how I missed the look of you cowering in fear." He could hear the sneering in his voice as he continued down the hallway.
Sonic scoffed as he spoke loudly. "Says the guy hiding in the shadows like a damn coward."
"Oh such vulgar words for someone like your popularity, be careful it might ruin your image." He took off trying to follow the voice, it leading him up to the top floor and into a wide, open room.
*Any sign of him yet?*
He whispered as he walked into the room. “Not exactly, he’s doing some creepy, ghostbprojection thing with his voice and I followed it to the top floor. Just scan for anything that looks suspicious in here.”
*Got it.* He rubbed his arms as he shivered against the cool wind blowing through the broken walls and windows. He stood in the shadows as he heard water dripping from the broken pipes and the buildings structure moaning as the air got more humid from the oncoming storm, an assortment of wooden crates scattered around the entire room. 'Not much to hide behind up here, he's just running himself into a corner by doing that.'
"Looking for me?" He felt his spine chill as he looked in the far corner of the room. Sitting crisscrossed on top of one of the wooden crates was the mad doctor himself, giving him a predatory stare and crude grin.
"Yes, I am actually." He swallowed as his mouth felt suddenly dry, despite the moisture in the air. He reached behind his back as he continued to converse with him. "You look horrible."
Robotnik let out a low chuckle as he let his legs fall in front of him, banging hard against the side of the crate. "My apologies, it's been awhile since I've had a decent shower you see."
Sonic continued to stand in the shadows as he unclipped his walkie talkie and raised it to his mouth, stiffening as he saw the human raise his arm towards him, his gloved hand clenched in a fist. "That's a no-no."
Sonic let out a small grunt as he felt the walkie let out a few sparks in his hand before it fell to pieces onto the ground. ‘The heck?’
“Don’t want them ruining our fun now do we?” He jumped down from the crate and walked out of the shadows. The man had looked like he went through a typhoon, his skin had a bad sun kissed color and his flight suit was covered in dirt, grass and mud, his pants were split and tattered above his knees, the sleeve on his right side of his jacket was completely ripped off while his left hand was behind his back, he could faintly see it was covered in a grey-ish color, a faint blue glow could be seen between his fingers. ‘That explains why he was able to destroy the walkie like that, but what is he holding?’
His face was also covered in mud, mixed in with the stubble of a beard growing on his face. His once neat, brown mustache was now unkempt and sun bleached with hints of gray sprouting through, his teeth slightly yellowed and laced with plaque.
“Actually scratch that last comment, you look absolutely disgusting.” Sonic snarked as Robotnik simply shook his head.
“Yeah, the sight of me probably makes you absolutely nauseated. So then why aren’t you coming closer? Unless you’re afraid of a little halitosis?”
*I’ve got two spot located near you, one is 2 feet away, the other is about 3 feet.*
“Ok.”
“Well?” He flinched, upon realizing that he heard him respond to his ear piece, but not realizing that he wasn’t talking to him.
He started to sprint towards the man, getting halfway into the room when he felt one of his legs be pulled back and something thin wrap tightly around both of his ankles, causing him to fall on his hands and knees.
“Gah!” He let out a yelp of pain as he whipped his head towards his legs, finding that thin, metal wires that was leading into the floor boards was wrapped painfully around his ankles.
*Sonic? Sonic, what happened?*
He let out a few grunts as he tried to pull his legs out of the snare but it only made the wires even tighter, digging more into his fur. He tried to loosen the wire from the floor as he heard Robotnik footsteps coming near him. “For someone who runs at the speed of sound, I’m disappointed you didn’t know that was there.
“Well, it’s not like there’s any spotlights in here, if there was you’d be able to see how much you look like a gargoyle that had a bad, cheap spray tan.” He snickers at the poor joke, despite the situation he was in. ‘Oh god, I knew Tom’s jokes would be the end of me eventually.’
“Oh har hardy har, the boy’s got jokes up his sleeves. I have some jokes too, want to hear them?”
“Not really.” Ivo ignores him as he keeps talking.
“Ah here’s my favorite one! What did the hedgehog say to the doctor when he asked what was his condition?”
He remained quiet as he whipped his head towards him, glaring and keeping his hand on the wires, still trying to loosen it.
“Uncontrollable screaming.” Robotnik pressed his thumb to the side of his hand, causing electric shocks to travel from under the floor, up the wire and up the hedgehog’s legs and body.
Sonic immediately dropped his head to the floor, clenching his fists and curled up as he fought against the shocks. ‘Try to focus it....try to focus on it!’ He tried to channel the flow of the electricity currently coursing through him, but it was too much at once for him to handle.
*Sonic! Just hang on! I can see where the currents coming from. Aaand I got it!*
He felt the shocks stop as he limply fell to the side. “Oh damn cheap thing, it seems to have worked though, don’t want you to glow bright like a glow stick again. It’s all thanks that parting gift you gave me.” He opens his hand to reveal the blue quill, attached to some circuitry and connected to screen of his wrist log.
He felt a sudden cold hit his body as he stared at the very same quill that he used against him so long ago. "How do you still have that?"
"It's been with me the whole entire time, of course you didn't realize that when you were on that high shot of energy, with the blue eyes and everything. Maybe I will be able to use this new powers on the humans rather than you? I wonder if they'll be able to hold out as long as you have?"
He felt a snarl come onto his face as he felt his own energy pour out of his quills, his sight became sharper and his hands dug into the wood, scratching the floor. "Don't you even dare think about touching them-." His voice cut off as he felt the electricity activate again, this time more excruciating than the last. He suddenly felt himself getting weaker as the glow of his quills dimmed and his eyesight became blurry.
Robotnik, now closer, let out a noise of surprise as he looked at his screen. "Ay dios mio! I knew you had alot of power in you, but I didn't know you had this much!" Sonic laid on the floor, panting heavy as he heard Robotnik boast about his invention. 'Did..is he trying to drain my power from me?'
Ivo tilted his head to the side as he looked at the hedgehog flinching on the ground. “Hmm the only thing is that wasn’t so much as screaming as I would have hoped, more like tiny baby whimpers. Now, shall we try that agai-....what the?”
He suddenly felt one of his top quills being grabbed and pulled up until he was on his feet, causing the pain to increase in his legs. He grabbed onto the man’s arm in retaliation to let him go but had no effect on him.
“What happened to you?” He questioned, sounding audibly confused as he looks at Sonic. “Why do you look like this?”
He winced as Robotnik kept a firm grip on his ear. He answers with a hiss. “What? I like wearing shirts now, don’t judge me.” Through his broken goggles, he could see the man’s eyes widen as he felt him let go of the quill completely, quickly catching himself with his arms.
He backed up and paced back and forth, muttering to himself. “No,no no no that’s not it. I immediately knew it was you despite your voice sounding different, but your appearance...” He looked back at him with his hand on his chin. “You wouldn’t change this much in just a year.”
Sonic froze, repeating that statement in his mind. 'A year...?’
*Did I just hear him correctly? He just said a year right?* “Yeah, Yeah he did.” Not even realizing he was talking out loud at this point, he sat back on his knees, minding his still trapped legs.
“Why are you referring to yourself in the 3rd person? It doesn’t work that well for everyone like it does for me.”
“Wha-no, you just said it’s been a year since you’ve been gone?
“A year and 6 months actually, that’s interesting how your species apparently hit puberty at a certain rate like that. You look almost completely different.”
Then it hit him, even though he looked disheveled, Robotnik still looked like the same man he fought all those years ago. Just more crazier. “What year do you think it is?”
He was visibly caught off guard by the question, crossing his arms he answered smugly. “It’s the year 2019 of course, don’t know why you need clarification on that.”
“You think it’s been almost two years since you left earth?”
“I know it’s been almost two years and I wouldn’t say “left” earth, forcibly evicted is the word I would use for that statement.”
“Dude....it’s been 10 years, it's currently the year 2029." Silence filled the room as Sonic saw Robotnik flinch as they continued to stare at each other, he went to say something but his voice got caught in his throat as his face morphed into a frown. "That's impossible."
Sonic let out a unintended laugh at the denial. "Impossible? It's been that long here."
"No it hasn't, my calculations might be off by a few months if anything. But it hasn't been a bloody decade."
"You literally just said I looked completely different! I was a teen when you last saw me, I'm in my 20’s now. Heck even the town is different!”
"You can’t possibly be that old now! Your genetics wouldn't show that kind of quick progress."
"Just because I'm a different species doesn't mean I don't age differently than humans."
"How dare you talk like what I’m saying doesn’t make any sense! I know what I’m talking about!”
"Do you? Cause it sounds like what you're saying doesn't even make sense to you!"
“And who’s fault is that!?!” Ivo’s voice rose in volume, making Sonic flinch back at his voice.
“Huh?”
“The reason why I’m like this now is because of you! My entire life was ruined when you banished me to that hellish planet! My mind slowly went mad as each month passed And what do I find when I finally make it back? That a damn decade has past all because you just wouldn’t let me experiment on you!!”
‘I..is he serious?’ He sat there flabbergasted as Robotnik unloaded his inner emotions. “You tracked me and Tom down across so all you could do was perform tests on me like a animal! Why the hell would I go with you after knowing that?”
“It’s better than throwing someone to a inhabited planet with no way to home!”
“You choose that path! It’s your fault that you ended up there! Don’t blame me for doing something that could be so obviously wrong, even to the so called ‘smartest guy on the planet’ and think you deserve better!”
"SILENCE!!" He pressed the side of his hand again, the metal around his hand making a slight crackling sound as Sonic felt the electricity activate once again.
Sonic screamed out and writhed in pain on the floor as he felt energy being drained from all over his body. *Son-ic? Bzzzzt, So-nic!?..bzzzt.* he could hear the signal cut off as the device got shorted out.
Panting hard, Ivo looked at the hedgehog crying out in pain on the floor, feeling no sense of joy, pleasure or anything that he usually would feel when torturing people. He backed away slowly, his mind started to race. 'A full decade? Could that really true? What has happened here when I was gone? Do they all think I'm missing? Do they all think I'm dead? Agent Stone, does agent Stone believe I'm...?'
"POLICE! GET DOWN ON THE GROUND! PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!" He turned towards the sound of several officers barging into the room, guns drawn directly at him. Two of the officers leading in the front caught his eye, the one he remembered from his last day on earth, nearly hitting him with a single bullet in his air mobile. The other officer in the front he immediately recognized, the man's face was in a scowl as he locked eyes with him with such fierce intensity, before the sound of the hedgehog's screaming caught his attention.
"Sonic?!" He went closer to the body and reached out his hand before recoiling it back in pain at the sharp shocks. He growled as he got up and cocked his gun. "Turn the machine off."
He glances down at his hand and answers him bluntly. "I can't do that Thomas."
"The hell you can't, turn it off now!"
"I mean that I actually can't, I broke the device in hand in my fit of rage." He shrugged his shoulders as his ears picked up more footsteps coming up the stairs.
"What's going- oh no!" He could see a yellow figure run behind the officers and kneels on the ground near the hedgehog, who had stopped screaming and was curled up in a loose ball, still flinching. "Hold on, just hold on Onii-chan." He assured him as he got out a small handheld device and pointed it towards the wires, managing to turn off the currents and started to remove them.
He could hear the cops voice blur out as he watched the small creature work on his tablet, noticing two tails twitching anxiously behind him. 'There's another one like him here? How many more could there be here?'
"This is your last warning! Get down on the ground now!" He ignores their orders as he looks around at the open walls in the room. "No, don't even think about it!"
"Oh I'm thinking about it I'm afraid." With that he sprinted out the nearest open wall, ducking his head as he heard several loud bangs and feels a sharp pain in his leg. He jumps out through the wall, flailing his arms as he fell at the height of the building and fell into the water of the ravine. he heard several shouts coming from the parking lot as he let himself float downriver into the cover of the trees in the woods, still clutching the quill tightly in his hand.
=======
"Follow where that ravine goes! I want the town placed on a full lockdown! Make sure he doesn't get out of the tristate area and if you find him, be careful and bring him in alive." The others nodded as they ran out of the room.
"Wade!" His friend stopped in his tracks as Tom made his way over. "Make sure you take Knuckles with you and fill him in, you'll need the extra muscle with this one."
"Got it." He raced down the steps while Tom ran towards Sonic and Tails, who had managed to get rid of the snares on his legs while Sonic laid in and out of consciousness.
He got down on his knees and held Sonic's head in his lap, hearing him let out a sluggish moan while Tails scanned his body. "Is he ok Tails?" The cub didn't answer as he scanned over his brother's wrist, monitoring his heart rate. He breathed out a sigh of relief and wiped his eyes.
“His heart rate is normal, i don’t think anything’s broken, he did suffered some burns around parts of his legs from the snare traps. It could be 1st degree but we should have Maddie look at him just to be safe."
"Yeah that's a good idea." He radioed for a ambulance to arrive as he gathered Sonic in his arms bridal style. "It's gonna be okay son."
He went to head towards the stairs but saw that Tails had wandered away, looking where Robotnik had made his escape. "Tails?"
He continued to look where he had fled, looking at the ravine to the trees and shrubs where it disappeared into the woods.
He rubbed his arms as he looked down at the ground before looking at his guardian. "I'm really worried about this."
Tom adjusted Sonic in his arms as Tails walks over to him. "Yeah, I know and I don't blame you."
He shook his head as he came closer. "I mean that I'm worried about who this guy is. I remember all about the crazy stories you guys told me about him, from when he was hunting Sonic to when the government told you about him, but he managed to live on that barren planet filled with nothing but mushrooms for so long. He managed survive all of that."
Tom sighed as they made their way down the stairs. "This isn't a normal man that we're dealing with, he's....something that could be dangerous even to himself if he had the chance.”
"Sonic told me something like that earlier before he went in, It made me even more worried after he told me about why I couldn't go in with him. When I heard him screaming like that and I wasn't able to pick up anything on the electric, I just.....froze, I didn't know what to do until I saw you pull up."
"Well it's a good thing you're a pretty fast flyer and have a very high piercing voice." He joked lightly as they made their way out the building and heard the ambulance sirens in the distance.
"Since he's still out there, there's no telling what's going to happen now that he know about not only Sonic still being here, but also me and any other mobians that live here?"
Tom ponders as he looks at Sonic's sleeping face to Tails' bright blue eyes staring at him.
"I don't know what will happen, but I will promise you this." He gets on one knee, being mindful of Sonic's injured legs. "Not only I, but Maddie, Wade, the whole town, even Crazy Carl will do everything within our power to make sure that all of you guys are safe. It's why you all came here, so we will make sure you stay here."
He smiled brightly and nodded his head at him as he felt his tails wag behind him. Tom winked as he saw the ambulance pull up and carefully jogged towards it.
Tails fiddled with his gloves as he looked around at the civilians, both human and mobian gathered near the barriers to see what was happening. He made his way over toward the ambulance, his fur chilled and damp from the misty rain.
“At this point, this new adventure that has emerged is plauged with so much uncertainty for all of us. But I know that somehow, we will fight through and win this one. Just like my people who escaped the tyranny of our world, just like my new friends and family. Cream, Amy, Knuckles and Sonic, even just like Robotnik. I am a survivor, we are all survivors and I will make sure that our future will no longer be in vain to this new world.”
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