#like you know it’s bad when zeke gives better brain than him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

erwinsvow · 3 years

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𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞.

summary: he wasn't always alone. in fact, there was a time when levi had you.

warnings: angst, fluff, mentions/description of injury and patching up, levi needs sleep

author's note: been in the works for a while because i couldn't figure out what i wanted to do, but this takes place after levi & zeke's conversation and there will be an angsty part two, i hope everyone likes it! it doesn't really make much sense but bear with me :)

listening to: don't let me go

“I bet you’re not popular with the ladies. Don’t act like you know about someone’s feelings.”

He pauses, feeling his heart skip a beat.

“I know. And I was… popular enough.”

He lets his mind take him back, back a time before everything in the world was so messed up. When he knew what his responsibilities were, and when there were clear orders to follow. He can’t seem to recall when everything went straight to shit. It feels like it’s been a long time coming.

He knew he was screwed years ago, when he was trying to stitch up the deep gash on his shoulder by himself, sitting in his quarters with a bowl of warm water and bloody bandages. You had been helping the others, a traumatized recruit with a concussion and broken leg, courtesy of the fifteen meter that had overwhelmed him.

There were a few others too, especially a familiar face that seemingly always needed your assistance after a mission. He wondered just how many times the boy—because that’s all he is, a boy, and that’s all you are, a girl—could get away with the same old ruse.

Regardless, he wouldn’t be visiting you tonight. Never mind that the cut he’s trying to nurse by himself is nearly impossible to properly reach, and that he feels dizzy from consistent bleeding and lack of energy in his body. The alcohol he ingested to calm his nerves doesn’t really do anything, either, since there isn’t nearly enough of the stuff in his room to actually have an impact.

He’s going to crash soon, he knows, and even though sleep always evades him, he just wanted to get this wrapped up and lay down without making a bloody mess everywhere. He releases a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding. The very thought of you is enough to tense up every muscle in his body, and the idea of you being alone with that idiotic, improper recruit makes his fist tighten around the needle. Sewing himself up tonight is a lost cause. He finally decides a bandage, no matter how bloody it might become, will have to do.

He stands up, slowly because he doesn’t want to pass out from a head rush, when there’s a knock on the door. He groans a little too loudly at the sound of it. He doesn’t feel like talking to anyone tonight, especially in this condition, wearing a torn scrap of a shirt and blood trapped underneath his nails.

“Who is it?” he calls out harshly, wondering if maybe they’ll just leave if he sounds scary. The other scouts knew he didn’t like to be bothered, and wouldn’t have come unless there was an emergency. If it was Hange she would have barged in already, and he would have recognized Erwin’s heavy footsteps from down the hall. No, he knows who it is. He just wishes that he’s wrong.

“It- It’s me. Petra said you were hurt earlier and that it looked bad. I just wanted to make sure it was okay…” Your soft, hesitant voice trails off, and he knows how much courage it took for you to knock on his door.

What he doesn’t know is that there was no way you were falling asleep tonight without making sure Levi was okay, no matter how angry he would get at you for bothering him at night.

You’re bracing for that reaction when the door opens, but when your wide eyes meet his tired grey ones, you feel yourself melt and all the words in your head disappear. There’s only one fragment of a thought left, the fact that Levi’s bleeding, and a lot, at that. You don’t even wait for his permission to step inside, suddenly energized by anger and mumbling to yourself as you set down your supplies and rummage through them.

“What exactly do you think you’re doing?” he questions quietly. He tries to line his voice with steel like he always does, but the facade is fading with every passing minute.

“I have to clean out your wound, captain, before something festers. If you had told me about this, say, right when we got back, it would have been fine by now, but now I have to rush because you’re too proud to ask for help-” You still and silence yourself.

It was out of line to enter without permission, but this is something else all together. Caring too much is one thing, you know, but insubordination is not tolerated, especially not by Levi.

You pick up a clean needle and thin silk thread that you need to patch up the wound, while searching for the jar of boiled water you need to clean it out first. Alcohol would work too, and you can smell it in the air, but you can’t find the words to ask for it.

Levi’s hands are unusually still, you know because you always notice them, and it’s a stark contrast to the way you’re shaking right now. It’s strange, because you stitched up a handful of others earlier today, and you were completely fine. Even Gunther, who you had always thought was handsome and could make you blush with an off-hand smile, never incited this kind of reaction from you.

You’re silently praying that Levi doesn’t comment on the tremor, but since you’re about to dig a sharp point into his shoulder to tie the skin back together, it would be idiotic if he didn’t say something. You turn to look at him, but it feels like he’s not even there.

His head is hanging down, propped up by the single functional arm, as the other one continues to bleed. You know it’s painful and that he should be saying something, something that makes you stutter and stumble over your words like he always makes you, but he’s just silent.

“Well, get on with it then. If that’s really why you came here this late.” His voice makes you tremble even harder.

There’s so much you try hard at. You try to be the best soldier you can be, even though both you and your superiors know you weren’t meant for this. Sometimes you can fool your fellow soldiers, and the handful of people you can call your friends, and with a few years under your belt, it seems like it’s getting easier to live this life. But you know deep down that it’s not. The one person who always sees right through it is Levi, though.

It’s part of the reason why you’re such a damn mess around him, because there’s no reason to present a false veneer if he knows the truth. You’re not a real soldier, not a real fighter, and you’re more useful as a medic stitching people up than anything else.

And yet, it’s always him who saves you. Him, who makes sure that any threat in between you and the scout you’re trying to rescue from the brink of death is eliminated. Him, that keeps one eye on the target and one eye on your back just in case. And every time, every goddamn time you need to be rescued, he rescues you.

But now, with his head hanging low and any semblance of not knowing why he always saves you gone, it feels your chance to repay him has finally arrived. The shaking stops when you go to sit down near him. Maybe it’s the sudden rush of energy in your body, but you find yourself unbuttoning his shirt to remove whatever remains of the cloth.

His body tenses further, but he doesn’t stop you, and he doesn’t say anything. You’re as gentle and careful as you can be, and once you’re successful, you drop the mangled shirt on the floor. Taking the water, you pour it over the wound as Levi releases a soft hiss at the feeling, for which you’re apologizing before you can even realize the words have left your mouth. He doesn’t say anything, but his shoulder relaxing encourages you to keep going.

You take your time, trying to clean off all the blood you can. You think he’ll protest when you pick up his hands, and wash those too, but he doesn’t. It’s not until you run your own hand over his softly, squeezing the top of it because you don’t have any words to express the thoughts going through your mind, that he finally speaks up.

“Thank you.”

It’s so quiet, you could swear that you had imagined it. He doesn’t look up to meet your eyes like you wish he would, but a smile forces its way onto your face regardless. You focus on the hard part now; stitching up your captain and making sure your work doesn’t leave him with any scars. You focus on your technique, fingers working nimbly and mind focused on this, and for a short time, it doesn’t feel like you’re with your captain, your superior. It just feels like being there with Levi.

All the while, his brain is working overtime to figure out why you’re like this. Why you’re treating him so carefully and gently, when you have no reason to. He doesn’t pick favorites, and even if he did, you wouldn’t be anywhere near that list. You’re not the fastest, you’re not the most lethal, and in fact, he could count on one hand your titan kills and assists. You help people. You save people. But most of the time, you’re just recovering a half-dead soldier so that their body can be buried at home and not forced to remain out there, alone. You’re just there so that parents can have a grave to mourn at, instead of an empty tomb.

He doesn’t treat you better than anyone else, and most of the time assigns you more cleaning duties than the others. You always take it and never complain, something else that he always wonders about. He had come to the conclusion it was because he’s saved your life countless times, and the fact that he isn’t going to let up soon. So you take everything he gives you with a polite smile. And for some goddamn reason, he can’t get that smile out of his head, no matter how hard he tries. You don’t even know how you make him feel; like he’s special and that he deserves these attentions.

A particularly painful turn of the needle makes him flinch, and brings him back to reality. You’re apologizing again, murmuring how you’re almost done, but he doesn’t want you to leave yet. He lets his mind flicker over how you’re always apologizing, and how much he just wants to tell you that you don’t have to, not for anything. Not for having to come and save you, not for stitching him up, not for trying to fix him.

You let out a sharp breath once you finish, getting back up to fetch a dressing, but his hand grabs yours before you can get too far. Levi looks up, grey eyes full of an emotion you can’t exactly pinpoint, one you have never seen before from him.

“Will you stay a little longer?” And just like that, everything in the world seems to fall into place.

“Of course. Let me just wrap it up, first. I’ll stay as long as you want.” You’re surprised at yourself for finding the words so quickly, because your heart has never pounded so fast in your life. You fumble around, trying to find the right thing, hands shaking again, and you can’t seem to get them to stop.

You go back to Levi, wrapping the cloth around his shoulder and securing it around his arm, suddenly hyper aware of the feel of his skin. It’s softer than you had imagined it would be. Both of you sit in the silence for a while, your hand finding a place over his and rubbing soft circles on his knuckles with your thumb.

You want to say something, anything, but there aren’t any words that seem right. His fingers deftly work their way around yours, and you honestly wonder if he can hear your heartbeat or the blood rushing to your cheeks. It’s past midnight now, and you have a feeling dawn will be approaching before long.

“You should really sleep now. It won’t get better until you rest a little.” You’re speaking because his actions gave you a little bit of confidence, but he interprets it wrong almost immediately.

“Of course. You’d like to go now?”

“N-no! No, I just thought that, that you would be tired now. I can go if you want, I-”

“I don’t get much sleep anyways.” He doesn’t even mean to sound so dejected, but it comes out before he can stop himself. He’s spent too, too many nights laying awake, sleep ever-evading him, wondering how it might be to sleep besides you. Would he get some rest? Would he be able to close his eyes and not open them an hour later with a pounding chest? He can’t remember the last time he was able to fall asleep, and stay asleep. You don’t make any movement to get away, and he notices your hand twitch and wonders why.

You have to fight yourself internally to keep your hand down, and not wrap your arms around your captain as you process his words. Your heart feels strangely heavy at the thought of Levi laying awake, all alone, exhausted but unable to succumb to the ease of rest. He’s on guard, all the time, every minute of every day, and half the time he’s expending his energy on saving you.

You’re not confident, like some of the others. You never have been. But in this moment, you feel something rushing into your body and coursing through your veins, something close to confidence but slightly different. The feeling makes you release Levi’s hand and shed your sweater, and crawl into his bed. It’s almost exactly as you expected, and not nearly as soft or warm as your own. But you think about Levi sleeping soundly beside you, him peaceful and content, and it doesn’t matter how comfortable his bed is. You just want him to fall asleep.

He looks at you with a mix of emotions, surprise being mixed in with them. He hadn’t been expecting that, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate it.

You’re sitting under the covers now, waiting expectedly for something. A part of you fears that this wasn’t what he meant, or wanted, but your racing heart calms down a little at the sight of him coming in to get settled beside you. He releases a sigh when his shoulder hits the mattress, at ease finally, and so exhausted that every muscle in his body is about to give out.

He sleeps on his back, you note, before shifting your gaze to the ceiling quickly. You certainly don’t want him to notice that you’re staring, or that you keep fingering the soft sheets between your fingers to remind yourself this is real and really happening.

“Stop fidgeting.” His voice is quiet, and even, and stills you instantly. You finally lift your head to look at him, letting out a breath at how he looks. Eyes closed, almost peaceful, laying on his back with his hand resting right near you.

You’re not sure if it’s the confidence from earlier, or something new entirely, but you adjust the sheets to cover him more, pulling them and letting them rest on his chest. He doesn’t open his eyes, but you notice the way he jerks a little at the motion.

“Sorry, Levi,” you whisper, trying to remain as quiet as possible. You lay your hand on top of his, intertwining your fingers and letting your own eyes close. You can hear his every breath, the scent of his skin taking over and clouding your mind as every sense slowly focused on one thing; him. “Let’s sleep now.”

#this is probably the first thing i've posted that is in canon and it makes no sense but i really liked writing this #me: i wanna write dark content #also me: writes angst with fluff and calls it a day #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman imagine #attack on titan #aot #levi x reader #shingeki no kyojin

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onyxoverride · 3 years

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My Little Fiancé - Zeke Jaeger x Reader, Reiner Braun x Reader [PART TWO]

PART ONE.

◙ warnings: SMUT. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. pussy eating, more cucking themes to threesome, cumplay, cum eating, objectification but make it sweet. double dicked down by big dick squad. my proof reading or lack thereof

◙ word count: 3.2k

◙ summary: Reiner has liked you since his childhood but when he comes back he sees you and Zeke are an item now. Don’t worry, the least you and Zeke could do is let him join in. This time he gets his turn inside you.

◙ note: I wasn’t going to make a part two but... Zeke and Reiner brainrot makes my a happy mf. ALSO I REACHED 100 FOLLOWERS THANK YOU ILY!!! Your comments and reblogs and EVERYTHING make me so happy. You're more than welcome to come into my ask box and thirst with me over characters(ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥

Reiner was right. The scratches you left on his thighs when you swallowed his cock were perfect jerk material. He couldn't even go to the bathroom without seeing them and getting at least a little erect. He is very much looking forward to when you two invite him over for dinner again. His mind is plagued with your moans and your teary eyes staring into his soul as your fiancé fucks you lifeless. He doesn't believe in gods but he's praying almost everyday for you as he tugs his dick to the memories of that day. The disappointment when those red scratches disappeared a few days later left him flaccid, he almost debated on scratching himself just to pretend but he shook that ridiculous thought out of his head. Instead he thinks about how obedient you were for Zeke, letting him direct you and use you. That really contrasted to how you were on his lap like a minx with a mission.

When his prayers are answered it's not exactly for dinner, more for dessert… long after dinner time late in the evening on a weekend he makes sure the day after is clear because just the thought of you can leave him out of commission for hours but getting the chance to fuck you? He gives himself a day but he'd need more to fully mentally recover. He is but a weak man for beautiful women, and one as lewd as you? One that he's pined over? Fuck.

He can feel his heart beating so clearly in his ears, the anxiety of the whole situation is snaking back up his spine. He's glad he ate dinner early and the ferocity he brushed his teeth at was frightening, he doesn't want to be caught with bad breath especially by you. His footsteps to Zeke and your apartment feel way too loud, and so does the knock on the door. But the quickness at which you open it is almost comical, and you look all too eager to see him. You've been excited this whole time. Yeah, you love Zeke, you're going to marry him, but having variety is appreciated and the obscenity of being fucked by another man while your to-be husband watches or you two being watched sends thrills down your spine and your skin heat up. You're ready, you've been waiting like a good girl for him to get here, Zeke made you strip to just a loose button up and the reason, well-

Reiner smiles at your sweet hellos, his cheeks already turning red at your attire or lack thereof. But your mischievous smile keeps him on his toes as you play with the collar of his shirt. He doesn't see Zeke anywhere in sight which is curious.

"Zeke told me to tell you something," there's a heady look settling in his eyes as you speak. He plays with the edges of your shirt, "yeah?"

You nod sweetly, gravitating closer into his touch, "mmhm, he said and I quote "'if she isn't fucking soaked by the time you two get to the bed I'll kick you out and you'll never get to touch her again' something along those lines." He leads kisses along your neckline, rubbing his scruff roughly against your skin while he coughs out a chuckle.

"Is that so?" A hand running up your thigh, "Guess I'll get to work then." Before you know it you are bent over the back of the couch and he's thrown off his shirt over it. Rough calloused hands and spreading the chub of your ass that's hiding your cunt out of the way for him to devour after he flipped the end of your shirt over your ass. He's on his knees for you, submitting to a prayer into your pussy that's soon to be leaking over his face. The desperate grasps for the couch pillows do nothing to help with the vulnerable position he's put you in and he's diving into your cunt, lapping at it desperately. He's sloppy, spreading your lips out with his tongue as firm as he can manage, spit covering your cunt combining with the slick it's producing. The mission of getting you wet is easily achieved but go big or go home right?

His hands mold into your ass and thighs still spreading you wide as he presses his face deeper into you, his tongue lapping at your clit and hole as you wriggle and moan over the couch. Your feet can't even touch the ground and the pressure of the back of the couch digging into your abdomen is making catching your breath that much harder. The circles his tongue makes around the edges of your hole and the laps over your clit, he's not precise like Zeke who aims at your weak spots so perfectly and strategically, he's going head-in but his enthusiasm and the striking difference between him and Zeke make up for any downfalls. "Reiner- I-" you want to reach back and pull at his head off your cunt but you're trying to hold yourself up a bit to lessen the pressure your abdomen is taking. Really it makes the experience all the better, breathless groans breaking from your throat as Reiner is diligent in trying to get you to cum all over his face. He's dreamt of this, in different ways, different positions, and it's living up to his expectations. Your taste on his tongue is distinctly you, not sweet, not sour but insanely specific to you and that's what makes him love it so much. You can feel him groaning into you as he eats you out which makes your toes curl and the wave starting in your stomach is threatening to crash soon. He keeps his pace steady, so steady no matter how much you wiggle around and whine, your nails digging into the backing pillows as you get closer and closer to your climax. He presses your thighs into the back of the couch, groaning into your cunt as it clenches sporadically around his tongue and you swear you see a flash of blonde from your bedroom door out of the corner of your eye but you can't really focus as you cream on Reiners face. He's lapping up every bit of cum like a thirsty dog and finally he pulls back, out of breath, smirking at a job well done.

"I'd say you're sufficiently- what did Zeke say?-" he pulls you by the back of your button up to stand on your feet, slick trailing down your thigh from your cunt, "'soaked.'" He sounds so smug, you would scold him but your knees are weak and you finally get to take a proper deep breath. Thankfully, he holds your hips firmly so you don't collapse into yourself. He kisses at your neck, keeping a flat hand over your belly to pull you away from the couch and closer to the bedroom. Maybe he shouldn't feel such pride and excitement to show Zeke what a good job he's done but fuck it's too late for that.

Zeke sits in the chair Reiner occupied last time, legs spread, shirtless, finishing the end of a cigarette, pushing the butt into the ashtray near him. He can see the post-orgasmic bliss written all over your face and wobbly legs as you walk to him. The juices trailing down your leg shine a bit with the moonlight gliding through the windows, he technically doesn't need to check to see if you're soaked like he demanded but you're so obediently standing in front of him, he can't help but mold his hands into your body as you situate yourself between his thighs.

Reiner watches as Zeke unbuttons your shirt, throwing it off you before he grasps your ass causing you to stumble and lean onto his bare shoulders. Fingers trailing up your thigh, smearing slick even more across the plains.

"Reiner," Zeke lets out a short laugh, "You've outdone yourself. Guess you aren’t getting kicked out." Reiner can't help but let his chest swell with pride. Zeke presses his hands into your ribs, brushing the underside of your breast. "Go be good and spread your legs for him," he pushes roughly into your ribs towards the bed where you tug on Reiners hand to join you. He could combust right now, you look so sweet on the bed looking up to him, wanting him so sweetly to take you.

This is what he's been waiting for. Sure, fucking your throat and watching you get destroyed by your partner was fun but this is what he wanted. You laying underneath him on the bed, legs spread to accommodate his thighs, no fabric barriers between the two of you. Granted your lover is watching the two of you like a hawk around two rabbits but that just makes this situation hotter. What's even hotter is Zeke's commentary as Reiner digs his hands into your body, into the meat of your thighs and ass, traveling to your chest to pinch at your nipples.

"She was excited for this, you know? My fiancé begging me to let you fuck her." your skin is heating up from embarrassment. Surely, Reiner doesn't need to know this much? "She squirmed on my cock to get on my good side, to convince me to let you fuck her brains out. Imagine that?" Reiners dick taps against your clit, running it along your lips, soaking it with your slick. "My little cocksleeve begging on my cock for another man. I mean, I planned on letting you anyways but it was sweet to see her so desperate like that." Reiners shoulders roll at the confession, "Is that right?"

You turn your face into the sheets, you really don't want to confirm because even though you're spread wide for him it's more embarrassing to confront that you've begged to fuck him than to actually fuck him. Creaking of a chair, then your face is snapped forward to look at Zeke who's leaning over you, hand seizing your cheeks. "Don't pretend to be modest now." Zeke glares at you from over his glasses, "He asked you a question, whore."

Having two sets of hands on your body is wholly distracting, but you have to answer or Zeke will be extra mean to you if you disobey. "Yes," you confirm and Zeke sends you a look to continue, "Y-yes, I begged for Reiner to fuck me." The sheets could swallow you whole and you'd be thankful but Zeke looks satisfied and Reiner borderline euphoric.

You jolt a bit as you see your fiancé hit his back, "Well, get to it then! Don't want to keep a pretty toy like her waiting." But Reiner looks impossibly thick, you took him in your mouth sure, but your pussy is a different story. Zeke is a good length and curved, he never fails to please you but he isn't as thick as this. It's a little intimidating especially when he's trying to work the head into you. One small thrust to work more into you and you try to reach out to make him slow down with pushing his cock into you, "’s t-too big…" Zeke let's out an unsympathetic whistle. Of course, he doesn't want you to hurt for real, but watching you struggle is the best form of amusement to him. Reiner has mercy on you though, and doesn't push further into you. Your slick makes this easier and makes the burn less prominent, and now you're becoming thankful for Zeke and his forward thinking.

Zeke leans over the spot where you and Reiner are partially connected, his hair almost brushing against the other man's chest. Slowly, he lets a string of spit descend from his mouth to settle on your entrance and Reiners cock. He could've left it at that but instead he leans down to lick at your clit brushing over Reiners dick, adding more spit to the mix to make it a bit easier for you to take. Having another man this close to his dick shouldn't be this attractive, but his tongue and your walls fluttering around his tip is exhilarating. "She should be fine," Zeke sits back on his henches and pushes at your chest to lay flat against the bed as you wiggle just a bit on his cock. Reiner takes this as a green light to slowly thrust into as you whine for him, hands grasping at Zeke's thighs. His thrusts into you pushes groans out of your chest from the thickness. He's stretching you out, walls clamping down on him like a vice, cock rubbing the soft spots in your walls that make tears gather in your eyes. He can feel you get closer and closer to cumming, with your mantra of fuckfuck-please-Reiner-fuck. Zeke nuzzles into your neck, biting into your skin and tweaking your nipples as Reiner drills into you. Your pussy constricting around him sporadically, he pushed one of your knees to your chest to fuck into you even faster which only sends you over the edge you were precariously tipping over, your nails digging into Zeke as you cream on Reiners cock. But he keeps going, the need to fill you up completely with him sending him into a frenzy, your cum adding to the lewd noises and tired, breathy whimpers. "Fuck." Just a few more thrust into your tightness and his cum floods your caverns, he stills.

Zeke finally speaks up after a moment of silence, "holy shit," he presses down on your tummy and your walls flutter around Reiners cock before he pulls out, cum leaking out of your pussy. Zeke leans over once again, but this time he flattens his tongue over your hole, gathering the cum leaking out on his tongue, leaning back to hover over your mouth. He squeezes your cheeks to open your mouth, letting the collected cum and slick drop into your tongue. You swallow what he gives you obediently.

You two are going to be the death of Reiner. Seriously, fuck.

“My turn now,” Zeke flips you over onto your belly as Reiner settles near your head. Your thighs pushed together pushing more cum to slip out of your hole, Zeke spreads the chub of your cheeks out of his way to slip his cock into you.

“Look at you love,” He presses deeply into you, leaning forward as you claw at Reiners thighs, “So well used. Stretched and fucked open just for me.” Your insides are wet, soaked with cum so the slide inside in is extremely easy. He rocks into you consistently, your walls tight around him, even tighter because of the position. Your slick and Reiners leftover cum in your cunt are dripping down his balls, every time he presses into you there’s a resounding wet slap. You are completely disheveled and fuzzy, like your head is stuffed with cotton, slurred curses slipping through your teeth as Zeke keeps his course. “Suck him off, ‘kay?” You respond with a teary nod as you pull Reiner to you. He won’t last long, he knows that but that may be a mercy on you. You do your best to suck him into your cheeks, hollowing them out as you drool on his cock. The rocking of Zeke’s hips into yours pushes you further and further down his cock, you don’t need to do much work like this thankfully, but your pet name of ‘toy’ is being fully defined by Zeke and Reiner using your body to get off. Zeke’s glasses are completely fogged over so he just throws them on Reiners thigh to make sure they don't get broken on the bed. The taste on Reiner’s cock is a mixture of you and him. You’re so close, so inevitably close. Your eyes rolling back into your skull as a refreshing orgasm rolls over you, harder than the last one and so tiring. Zeke pauses just for a moment as your cunt tightens and creams around him, adding to the sloshing liquids gathered around your hole, cum frothing on his cock. You are in a euphoric post-orgasmic headspace, being used by them.

He bites and kisses around your shoulders, beard brushing against your skin, whispers of “Good toy, so sweet for me. Being so good for us” hitting your muffled ears. It only takes a few more swallows around Reiner for him to finish with a hiss between his teeth. Zeke pulls your head back by your throat as he keeps thrusting, he wants to hear your raspy groans unmuffled by cock for just a bit. The cute raspy wines of his name are worth it. You are past overstimulation, it hurts just a bit but in a good way. Zeke keeps going, you know he’s close by the sweetness he mumbles into your skin. The praise makes your skin hum and you wish you could be extra good and push your hips back on him but this position doesn’t allow for that and all the strength in your body is borderline nonexistent, all you can do is take what’s dished out to you. You claw at Reiners calves as Zeke ruts into one last time, balls deep to fill you entirely with cum.

He stays inside as he massages your back, he’s painfully observant and knows you are tired and sore already. “So good, so good for us,” at this point Zeke sounds like a broken record, but it warms your heart especially with Reiner holding your cheeks so tenderly, like you’re made of glass. When he does pull out he takes a moment to sit back and observe the cum being pushed out of your cunt, messy and smeared with your previous endeavors, puffy and abused by dick. It's a sweet sight. It’s tempting to eat you out like this but you’d just whine and squirm too much and he doesn’t feel like dealing with your kicking legs… though the breathy whines would be worth it...

Reiner can see Zeke smiling down at you where you can’t see, this is one of the rare times he has seen him look so… soft. Caring, delicate. A side of him he wasn’t able to see last time. Zeke already knows what to do for the rest of the night, he’ll make sure you both are washed up, you’ll tug at his sleeve to make you toast with butter and honey—and he will, he always will, and he’ll bring you a cup of tea to go along with it—you’ll curl up between his legs and pass out until the next day.

“Reiner, go get them washed up.” Ah- he didn’t really expect to stay after this but it’s the least he could do for screwing the brains out of his fiancé, so he gathers you up in his arms to give you a lazy shower. Zeke considers that maybe, he can make some extra toast, and maybe another cup of tea for Reiner too. He did tell him to keep his day free tomorrow, the least he could do is let him sleep over. Plus, the seasons are changing and it's getting cold, might as well let you have another cuddle buddy.

“There’s extra clothes in my dresser as well,” Zeke steps out of the room. You send Reiner a tired sugary smile, he’s starting to be really satisfied with his choice of joining the two of you in this weird trio.

𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔨 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤, 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔤, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔯𝔢𝔟𝔩𝔬𝔤𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔤 <3

//: 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙

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linkspooky · 4 years

Text

Eren’s Dissocation

This month’s chapter has a lot of people confused on Eren’s actions. Why would Eren choose the worst option possible? Why force himself to do something he clearly doesn’t want to do? Why, when he’s given options to back out, does he instead double down on the bad decision making? Why, when no one is holding a gun to his head does he pick the worst available choice?

The narrative obviously isn’t sympathizing with Eren so we’re meant to question his choices. So let’s get into Eren’s headspace. A place where clearly even Eren doesn’t want to be.

1. Other People

Eren displays a lot of paradoxes in his reasoning this chapter. His every action is a contradiction. He goes out of his way to save a child, and then crushes them later without lifting a finger to help. He says he wants to do this all for the sake of freedom, and yet he’s espousing ideas like a fixed future, and acting helpless to his eventual fate. Eren begs and cries for the child to forgive him for what he must do... when nobody is actually forcing him to do anything.

It’s not only that Eren makes bad choices, but he also acts like he’s the victim of his own bad choices. He acts like he’s completely helpless to do these things. Eren says one thing, and then deliberately does another to contradict it when he DOES NOT HAVE TO. It seems like Eren is going out of his way to ruin everything and people are questioning what pushed Eren to this point of deliberate self destruction and acting like he was all out of options when he very, clearly wasn’t.

Eren’s motivations make no sense. Yeah. They make no sense because Eren is trying to reconcile two irreconcilable ideas. The ideas of predestination and freedom are complete and total opposites ideas that cannot coexist in Eren’s mind. Eren can’t reconcile them. So he doesn’t. Rather than try to justify himself or struggle to find the right answer Eren settles for the wrong one. Rather than try to justify his actions Eren avoids any confrontation of his actions all together. Eren distances himself - from his actions, the consequences of his actions, and his role in everything that happens.

It’s a simple idea, but also a complicated one which I will do my best to explain. How does Eren do this? How does Eren end up in this very contradictory mindset, where he just keeps making things worse, on purpose. And it starts with the way Eren sees other people.

There’s a reason that Eren is made out to be so childlike and petty in this chapter. It’s because he is. This line is very vague, but if I were to explain it I would say.

Eren is very bothered by the fact that other people exist.

What I mean is, other people have thoughts, feelings, and entirely different opinions from Eren and Eren doesn’t really want to deal with that. While yes, it could be a line about how Eren saw the same oppression outside the walls as he did in Paradis, I think it’s a lot pettier than that. Eren got really, really, bothered by the fact that the world he imagined as empty was in fact crowded with other people besides him.

In child developmental psychology there’s an experiment called the “Three Mountain Problem.” In the experiment a child is shown a model of a mountain from one perspective and asked to draw what it looks like. They’re asked to draw what they see.Then, a doll is placed behind the mountain looking at it from a completely different angle. The experimenter then asks the child to draw what the doll sees. The doll would see something completely different - but the child doesn’t comprehend that. They draw the exact same picture the first time. Children lack the ability to imagine that other people don’t. A child only sees the world from one point of view.

You know what’s really frustrating? Arguing with other people. Sometimes even if you know you’re right, even if you state your argument perfectly and show the facts that person still won’t agree with you. It’s frustrating to deal with the fact that you can influence, but you can’t really control the opinions of others.

Eren is fundamentally, unable to see, and deal with other people as people. By that I mean, their perspectives, their feelings, he can’t really see or understand those things outside of his own perspective. Other people ask things of him, require things of him, that he can’t give. Other people disagree with him, fight with him.

Eren’s not an eco-terrorist. He’s not bothered by the fact the world isn’t a natural paradise outside the walls. It’s the people themselves, that Eren finds disappointing.

Eren can’t deal. On a micro-level. Let’s forget about the plot at large and just focus on Eren for a second. Who are the people that Eren has chosen to surround himself post-timeskip.

If Eren’s ultimate ideal is freedom why does he choose to trust Floche of all people? A sycophant, and someone who is practically begging to have all of his choices taken away from him?

It’s also because Floch is also someone who won’t disagree with him, or question him the way his friends might. Eren just can’t deal.

Eren claims that everything he does is out of love for his friends. He fights for his friends, sacrifices for his friends. He has to be the one to die so his friends can live.

But, when Eren hears that Mikasa has the exact same motivation for him. That Mikasa wants to protect him, and fight for him the same way he wants to fight for her. When Eren hears that Mikasa might love him and show that love by always fighting for him, which is the exact same way Eren tends to show his love for his friends he doesn’t... get it. He can’t accept her feelings in any real way. He can’t even really understand them.

Eren wants to love Mikasa, he wants to love his friends, but he either can’t accept their feelings, or he just doesn’t want to. He’s allowed to love Mikasa, Mikasa can’t possibly love him back. Even when Zeke just straight up tells him to his face, Eren dismisses Zeke and says what Mikasa feels for him doesn’t even matter because he’s going to die in four years. Eren avoids her feelings, otherwise.

That’s the key word here. Eren’s avoidant. In every single person he deals with, he’s avoidant. That’s how his very contradictory views of people are maintained. There’s a lot of examples I could list of this. Eren wants his friends to be free, but he goes out of his way to lock them up. Eren says he’s doing this for the sake of his friend’s happiness, and then antagonizes them as cruelly as possible. The reason he’s able to do these things, is that he avoids truly looking, or confronting his actions, and also the people he’s surrounded with in any real way.

Not only with Mikasa, you can see it in his interaction with Historia.

Eren and Historia grew close because Eren said he wanted to get to know the real Historia. But, then he specifically asks Historia to do something that is the opposite of everything she stands for. When she disagrees with him, because she wants to live as an individual with her head held high with pride and make her own choices, do what she thinks is right as Ymir told her. When Historia tries to assert herself as an individual who doesn’t completely agree with him, Eren then switches tactics and tries to browbeat her into doing what he wants of her.

Eren’s view of the world is very isolated, and insulated from others. Whenever somebody challenges his view, he makes the choice to retreat back inside of his own head rather than try to change.

That’s also a natural consequence of Eren not seeing people as people. Because he avoids the thoughts, feelings, opinions of others it means his own thoughts never really change. He deprives himself of the ability to see things in a different way. Eren is stuck in a rut, but also Eren doesn’t want to leave that rut he wants to bunker down.

2. Eren Himself.

Eren’s head what a terrifying place to be inside.

Dissociation is a mental process that causes a lack of connection in a person's thoughts, memory and sense of identity. Dissociation seems to fall on a continuum of severity.

Dissociation is a defense mechanism of the brain. So is avoidance. They are both learned defense mechanisms that the brain uses to protect himself, and they are also behaviors that people fall into to protect themselves.

This is why Eren is depicted as a child over and over again. This is why Eren is shown constantly flashing back to his mother’s death. It’s because Eren never really got over that initial trauma, Eren has been stunted and never grew or developed from that point.

Eren’s a big old manchild, and that makes sense just from what he’s been through. It’s easy to forget that Eren is a child soldier who like, never had a stable environment after losing his home. The reason he hyper focuses on his mother, and that initial incident is because that was the start of everything all the insecurity of his life. Eren adopted all these mechanisms to cope in a situation where he was truly helpless, and yet even after the situation changed, Eren’s internal mechanisms never truly did change and he kept on coping in the same broken way.

Dissociation, and Avoidance.

Dissociation is when a person divorces themselves, from their actions, from their own body, from their thoughts and feelings.

Avoidance is when Eren deliberately goes out of his way to avoid any kind of real conflict with other people or having to deal with their feelings because he’s not equipped to handle them.

Eren is hopelessly stuck inside of his own head right now. I don’t know what’s a better metaphor for that, then Eren literally... just being a head. It almost lapses into solipism. Eren has distanced himself from other people so far that he has... literally become a brain in a jar.

Eren’s perspective is the only one that exists to him. But he also disagrees with himself.

Eren wants the freedom to do whatever he wants. But he also, doesn’t really want to be doing what he’s doing right now. So, why does he use his freedom to do these things?

If Eren distances himself, both from the thoughts and feelings of other people, but also his own thoughts and feelings, where is he?

He’s god.

Eren imagines his ideal world as one where he’s above the clouds, in an completely open sky. These are the symbols associated with the idea of god in most religions. Somewhere distant. Somewhere far away.

Eren’s key operating word is distance. He is distancing himself from both other people, and his own actions at the same time, because he can’t really bear or even process the guilt of dealing with both.

Let me explain Eren’s bad decision making with a simple metaphor.

So spiderman, right. Spiderman gets bitten by a radioactive spider. He has kind of a shitty life. He has no parents, he’s bullied in high school. He’s an average every day loser. Suddenly, he gets all of these super powers. It makes spider man feel special. He has super strength now, he doesn’t need to wear his glasses anymore.

Then a robber runs by him, and Spiderman doesn’t lift a finger to help. Even though he has the special ability to help, he doesn’t take any responsibility for it.

As a result of this choice, his Uncle Ben dies.

Spiderman wanted the super powers, but he didn’t want like any of the added responsibilities of having super powers. In essence until Uncle Ben died, what Spider Man was living out was a power fantasy.

That’s what Eren is in the middle of. He’s always been this very weak and helpless child. He’s always felt like the person who just watched, unable to do anything when his mother died right in front of him. The way he’s dealt with that has always been imagining himself as getting stronger, and stronger, and stronger.

Eren wants power, but he doesn’t want responsibility.

The Sasha scene is literally the Uncle Ben scene. Eren kills a lot of innocent people, he makes a choice to do that, and as a direct result of his actions, someone else important to him dies. It’s a direct story consequence. Eren steps on Gabi’s friends -> Gabi becomes vengeful -> Gabi goes the extra mile to avenge the deaths of her friends sneaks on board and shoots Sasha.

Eren’s mechanism however, is avoidance. He doesn’t want to be at fault. So he’s not. Which means when Eren makes bad decisions. When those bad decisions result in things getting wrose. Eren ignores the consequences of his actions, and is therefore unable to deal with those consequences in any real way.

That’s why we see Eren get worse, and worse, and worse, and worse. Because he’s not learning from any of the choices he is making. Because from Eren’s perspective he doesn’t have a choice.

To summarize the contradiction: Eren wants to kill people, but he doesn’t want to feel like a murderer.

Eren can’t make sense of that, because there is no making sense of that so he looks away. He looks away so he can’t learn, or even really see what he’s doing to people. This causes Eren to spiral. When people have gotten genuinely that bad, when people spiral to the point where it seems like every single thing they’re going to do is going to make things worse what do they start wanting?

Eren’s dream of killing all the titans, is paralleled exactly with Reiner’s urge to just, kill himself so he can be done with everything. That’s the real reason essentially. Yes, it’s extreme, but Eren might be y’know, an extremist? The micro-level informs the macro-level.

Eren has gotten so bad in his mental spiral he’s reached the point where nothing else matters, where he just wants to give up and committ suicide. He wants to make the world disappear. He can no longer deal with the struggle against the world. He sees the only way to escape his problems is to either just wipe everything away, and wipe himself out. That’s metaphorical suicide.

It’s just Eren’s always projected outward.

Rather than deal with his own internal flaws, he tries to change the world around him. Eren has just externalized his own internal conflict to such an extreme extent.

And yeah, Eren is literally just a head right now. Only his own internal conflict, only his own hurt feelings, matter. That’s what Eren does to the child.

The reason that Eren draws the comparison to Eren is because that’s what Reiner did exactly to him.

Eren is the hurt and injured party here. Reiner’s direction actions and choices killed Eren’s mom. However, it’s not about Eren’s feelings, Reiner makes it entirely about his own feelings. His own guilt. His own regret for what he did. How bad he feels about it. Reiner breaks down crying and is so self-involved he forgets that Eren is the one who is hurting here.

Eren repeats the same action. He breaks down crying in front of a child and apologizes again and again. But it’s really about Eren. Eren makes it about himself, and his own guilt and remorse rather than the person he’s wronging.

So yeah. It’s the end of the world and Eren’s just making it about himself. That’s the best way to explain it. It’s easy to kill another person if you don’t see, or truly care about their pain.

Eren is a tool. And by that I mean he wants to take certain actions. Eren is violent, and wants to stir up conflict. He is because he’s a child soldier who has been raised that way all his life. Eren also knows that these things are wrong. Which is why he wants to take these actions, but in no way feel responsible for them. A gun is not responsible for a bullet leaving the barrel and shooting someone. Eren wants to be the gun, rather than the person holding the trigger.

Which is why Eren is now inside of a giant flesh monster that’s bent on destroying everything. He is the mechanism that destroys the world. It’s the extreme result of that line of thinking. But once again Eren’s entire character can be summarized in one line.

“Eren Jaeger is an extremist.”

#aot 131 #snk 131 #snk 131 spoilers #aot 131 spoilers #attack on titan meta #eren jaeger #eren jaeger meta #eren jaeger theory #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #aot meta

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silversatoru · 3 years

Text

the thin line between hope and despair

yelena x gn! reader

synopsis: you’re in love with yelena, and she feels nothing for for you. constant hook-ups and faded morals = very messy feelings

tags/warnings: nsfw, some smut?, angst, unrequited love, one-sided feelings, fuck buddies

word count: 2.5k

a/n: for my my sweet bby girl @brandmeyelena <3

Yelena knows what she’s doing with you isn’t right — on so many fucking levels. Taking advantage of your utter desperation for her over and over again when she knows damn well that she couldn’t care less about you. It wasn’t fair, especially for you, but she just couldn’t really find it in herself to feel sorry for someone so pitiful. You were so willing to devote yourself to her in exchange for mere crumbs of her affection, and it was pathetic. You left a sour taste in her mouth, a taste of sorrow and complete wretchedness, but you were also the perfect distraction. The perfect relief from all of her stress and all of her responsibilities with the volunteers. She was tired, and you were just so damn desperate to make her feel better — so how could she refuse? The answer was simple, she couldn’t.

That exact thought process is what landed her here today, with her fingers around your throat and your eyes rolled back into your head. She knows you love it too, being used like this — the way your cheeks grow flushed and your eyes get foggy when she cuts off the circulation to your brain. But she doesn’t do it for you — Yelena enjoys these things just as much as you do, her power hungry ego being fervently stroked by dominating you like this. Pinning you underneath of her and giving you orders made her feel in control — and that was perfect, because god knows she isn’t in control of anything else in her life right now.

Get down, she’d hiss at you, pointing to the floor with her long, slender index finger. Your pathetic frame would sink to your knees instantly, wordlessly doting to her every command. She’d lean back on her shoulders, her hips propped on the edge of the bed, and give you an expectant look. You know what to do. Do it, her voice would snarl, her empty eyes swirling with hunger. You’d feverishly obey, launching yourself forward and graciously opening your mouth for her pussy. You were dedicated to your craft, taking your time and ensuring that your tongue consumed every inch of her. Yelena’s head would fall back and, raspy, wet noises gurgled from her throat. She was entirely consumed by this twisted bliss — and she was a horrible monster for letting you do these things to her, but she felt far too good to care.

So now here you were, your tongue buried deep inside her while you worked desperately to make her feel better. She was quieter than usual today — the only things to leave her lips were small groans and half-assed insults. Things like the occasional “faster” while she pulled your hair, or “stupid slut” when you weren’t doing things quite right. The slander only made you work harder however, and honestly anything that came out of the blonde woman’s mouth was music to your ears. You stared up at her with rose-colored glasses, living in a delusional world where you truly believed Yelena cared about you.

It was a dreadfully fucked up dynamic — this relationship the two of you had, if it could even be called that. One of you lived in a terrible fantasy of what could be and the other was practically incapable of feeling human emotions. It was truly only a matter of time before the world started burning around the two of you.

A very short matter of time.

Yelena was spasming underneath of you now, warm juices and shaky convulsions racking through her body and into your mouth. You drove your tongue deep against her contracting walls, your eyes squeezed shut. A disgustingly sticky mixture of her fluids and your own saliva dripped down your chin as you finally pulled away, a bitter taste hanging on your tongue.

And Yelena was always quick to leave, she never stuck around any longer than she had to. She came, she came, and then she’d pull shitty excuses out of her ass as to why she needed to leave so soon. Those reasons more often than not consisted of one person — Zeke Yeager. Whether or not there was something romantic between the two, or if she was just highly devoted to him, you could never tell. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to know, honestly, because the answer might just break your heart.

Why don’t you stay tonight, Lena? You looked over at her as she pulled her trousers up her long, gangly legs. You craved something deeper with her, something more than just occasional casual sex — but it was really too bad that she didnt reciprocate those feelings at all. Sorry, there's a meeting tonight. I have to go. She’d respond, her voice dull as she carelessly brushed you off and slipped on her boots.

Will Zeke be there? Your voice always got low when you talked about him, but you made intentional efforts to hide the jealousy in your tone. Of course he’ll be there, he is the leader, she’d state dully as if this was obvious, and maybe it was, but it still made your chest ache.

You spend a lot of time with him lately, even outside of meetings, you’d state your observations out loud for the first time. Confrontation wasn’t something you enjoyed, and you certainly weren’t any good at explaining your feelings either. But your heart was starting to nag you lately, and you needed to voice your opinions before it was too late.

We’re preparing for a war, her eyes grew incredibly narrow, try not to make such selfish accusations right now. The words were like daggers of guilt stabbing between your ribs. Yelena had a way with words — a shiny silver tongue that always made you believe what she said without a doubt. You started to believe that you were being selfish — after all the war was very real and Yelena was very involved, that's probably all it was.

You’re right, I’m sorry. I just wish you were around more. Your voice was much quieter now, shame and remorse churning in your stomach -- maybe you would have been better off not saying anything at all.

We’re busy. You have to understand where I’m coming from here. It’s hard for me to make time right now, she’d continue to spew nonsense into your impressionable ears. She didn’t like that you were starting to question her, not at all. She’d say whatever you needed to hear to keep you around at this point — she didn’t plan on losing her little fuck-toy anytime soon. If you needed a little affection to keep you complacent, then she’d just need to put on a little show for you.

Come here, I’m sorry, her tone grew softer, but not at all sincere. You helplessly sunk into her spindly arms, and she pulled you tight to her chest. Just hold on until after the war, okay? Once we make the world a better place, we can do whatever you want.

More false hope, false promises, and false reassurance. The war would be brutal, you’d probably die at some point in a terrible event of collateral damage. You’d die and then Yelena would never need to fulfil her empty promises -- it was that easy, and you’d never know the difference.

That sounds nice, you’d smile, your heart warming at the idea of living in a free world with Yelena by your side. You fell ignorantly for her words, missing every single warning sign and every single red flag. Maybe if you’d noticed the subtle darkness in her eyes, the strain in her tone, or the way she hugged you a little too roughly, you could have saved yourself from the ensuing heartbreak. Or maybe if you had realized that with you being a scout and her being a follower of Zeke, it was unlikely that the two of you would ever work out. But you stupidly refused to consider any of these things, and it was going to cost you your heart.

That fateful memory was a few months ago, and now the both of you were in Marley, anxiously waiting for Eren’s plan to unfold. You were partnered with your friend Connie, his lips twisting into a thin line as the two of you hid in the shadows on top of an industrial building. You were incredibly capable with your 3dm gear, and even more capable with the new gun technology, but you were practically useless with your head in its current state. You watched the streets with fervent eyes, dashing them up and down nearby alleyways and hoping for any sign of Yelena. The attack hadn’t even started yet, but not knowing her whereabouts made you incredibly uneasy. She was probably wherever Zeke was, of course, but you liked to think that wherever she was, she was worried about you too.

Yelena was hiding in plain sight, dressed in a traditional Marleyan Army uniform with fake facial hair wrapped around her chin. She did as she was ordered, trapping two of the titan shifters in a large hole and then retreating back to her position. She was focused solely on her task, and on Zeke and how she could ensure his safety, and honestly, the thought of you hadn’t crossed her mind once tonight.

When Eren’s attack came, it came suddenly and violently -- and it was like nothing you’ve ever seen before, or at least not since the colossal and armored titans attacked so many years ago. Before you could even take in the horrifying scene in front of you, Connie was grabbing your hand and ushering you to run, the two of you taking off with your 3dm gear. You couldn’t stop your eyes from wandering as your body swung through the air, frantically searching the streets for the tall, blonde woman who owned your heart. But maybe you should have paid less attention to finding her, and more attention to where you were going.

Connie’s shrill scream shook you to your core, and at first you didn’t even notice the array of guns pointed right at the two of you. A group of Marleyan soldiers were lined up atop a building, every single nozzle of their firearms preparing to shoot at you and Connie. Your friend shot his gear downwards, swooping underneath the scope of the guns and shouting at you to follow him. And you tried, you really did, but you were horribly distracted and accidentally shot your gear into the very edge of a building. The hook crumbled the corner of the building and was unable to secure itself, sending you hurling to the ground beneath you. Your breath was wiped clean from your chest as you smacked against the ground, dust and dirt filling your lungs. Connie was forced to swing up onto a higher building, narrowly avoiding the bullets and unable to come down after you. Your bones ached as you peeled yourself off the ground, looking up just to see pieces of rubble hurling towards you. What the FUCK, Eren? You silently cursed out that irresponsible titan boy, scrambling to avoid the giant chunks of building that were quickly getting closer.

You thought you’d made it, your heart beat gushing in your ears as you launched yourself towards another building, only to be knocked back down by a slab of broken concrete. Pained yelps squeezed out from your throat as your body fell helplessly back to the ground. This fall did a number on you, your ears ringing and your head pounding with a dull pain. The large piece of rubble had crashed into one of your legs, rendering your leg immobile and absolutely crushing your gear. Connie couldn’t help you, not when saving you guaranteed his own demise — you needed to do this on your own, unless-

“Yelena!” You called out to the towering woman who was stumbling towards you. Her arm was wrapped around an injured Zeke, and she was working hard to carry him to safety. Levi must have rocked his shit again, you’d have to thank him for that if you made it out of this alive.

Yelena stopped momentarily when she saw your mangled leg, but not even an ounce of concern crossed her determined face. She looked you up and down, and then glanced down at Zeke as if she was weighing her options.

“I’m sorry,” She shot you a horribly unsypathetic look, dragging her gaze away from you and hurrying off with the injured blonde boy.

It was so simple, so short, and there wasn't the smallest hint of remorse in her voice. Your brain couldn’t process how easy it was for her to leave you there, your mouth hanging open in a small “o”. You would give your life for Yelena, and she didn’t even blink when you were faced with certain death — and that’s when it all started to set in. The delusional facade that you’d imagined between the two of you was shattering, small pieces of glass memories crashing and crumbling around you. The cruel owner of your pitiful heart felt nothing for you, and it had taken this long for you to finally realize.

All of the days and nights the two of you spent entangled in each other's arms had meant nothing. All of the time you spent with your lips locked against hers and her large hands caressing your body had been devoid of anything more than lust for her. Terrible embarrassment washed up inside of you as you recalled all of the sinful things you did for this cold-hearted, unfeeling woman.

Your motivation to fight was gone, your eyes locked onto Yelena’s tall figure as she ran further away and out of view. She’d picked Zeke over you again, she always did, and she always would. She practically worshiped him, like he was some kind of fucked up, twisted god. You weren’t sure why you ever thought you could compete with that.

In the midst of your complete breakdown, a firm arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you into the air. Connie had come back for you, cold air stinging your face as the two of you shot up to the safety of a tall, nearby building.

“Fuck, y/n, stop being so careless! And I hope you’ll finally give up on that lanky bitch after she walked right past you like that,” he let out an exasperated breath, slumping behind a large brick wall.

“Sorry… thank you,” you mumbled, “You really shouldn’t have risked your life like that”.

“No, but that’s what people are supposed to do when they care about each other. Is it finally sinking in, that she's been using you for the past year? I tried to tell you so many time-,” He continued to ramble on in frustration.

Every one of his words poured salt into your already burning wounds, tears beginning to leak from your eyes. Yelena didn’t care about you, she never did — she’d never even sacrificed time for you, never mind compromising her or Zeke’s safety for you. And you were stupidly ignorant to ever think that she saw you as more than a toy she used to pass the time.

#yelena #yelena angst #yelena attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #yelena x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan angst

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emonaculate · 3 years

Text

The need to Know

❥ Pairing: Eren x Black!reader

❥ Summary: Y/n knew that deep down it would be impossible to get over Eren, she knew that after they had broken up; it would have been best to just move on. However, the idea of him being with anyone was just too much for the woman to bear.

❥ Genre: Angst if you squint

❥ Word count: 1.9K

❥ Warnings: Cheating, Profanity, Violence, and mentions of sex

Y/n remained silent as she sat in the cafeteria, her mood going downhill after seeing them enter and sit with her former friend group; those two being Historia and Eren, the newly formed couple.

"Y/n did you even hear what I've been saying?" Hitch elbowed her friend in the side.

"Huh? Oh... Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tired. You know from studying for midterms." She replied as she rubbed her now sore rib-cage.

Hitch watched Y/n for a moment, then turned to look at the oblivious couple who were holding hands looking happy in love. An expression of pity and sympathy formed on the girl's face as she turned to look back at Y/n, whose brown eyes would not look away from the two holding hands.

"Oh... Y/n."

"It's not a big deal, Hitch. He made his decision and I made mine. After all, they look better together anyways." Y/n tore her eyes away from the couple to look back at her worried friend.

"I'd kick his ass if I were you. You guys break up and then he turns around and dates the friend he told you to not worry about. Bitch ass move if you ask me. Not to mention everyone keeping it from you for months." Hitch huffed as she linked her arm with Y/n's.

Y/n bit her two-toned bottom lip as she thought about how dirty her so-called-friends treated her once Eren and Historia began to date. Everyone knew right off the bat and just all unanimously agreed to keep it from her for as long as possible. Sure they only befriended Y/n due to her dating Eren but it still hurt because she thought that they at least cared about her.

"Nah it isn't worth my time. They made their decision and I made mine. Though you don't have to seclude yourself for me, I know Jean misses you."

"Damn fool should have known better." Hitch shrugged as she barely spared a glance at her boyfriend who was desperately trying to back into her good grace.

Y/n smiled in appreciation, truly grateful to Hitch as a true friend. As soon as Y/n found out about Historia and Eren; Hitch found out as well and blew up on everyone who dared to hide it. Hitch had even gone as far as taking a break with Jean to prove to him how fucked up the whole ordeal was; Y/n talked her down from doing it so now Hitch had just been giving him the silent treatment. And ever since that day, the Y/n and Hitch had been closer than ever imaginable.

"So what I was saying earlier is we're going to Porco's party." Hitch continued.

"Porco?" Y/n questioned in confusion.

"From Marley University who wears the leather jacket all the time."

"Oh, the grease monkey-looking dude."

"Exactly. So you in?"

"Absolutely." Y/n grinned after giving Hitch a quick fist bump.

It had been a while since Y/n dressed up, especially since her mood had been bitter and angry for the past couple of weeks, but none of that matter right now as she slipped on the strapless crimson-red dress that stopped above her mid-thigh. It hugged all her curves and showed off her figure in the best way.

"You look hot." Hitch purred as she wrapped her hands around Y/n's waist.

"And you have a boyfriend." Y/n reminded her friend as she placed her warm brown hands over Hitch's small pale ones.

"Mm, he don't gotta know."

"You don't mean that, you love Jean. Everyone knows that."

"....Yeah whatever," Hitch mumbled hiding her face in Y/n neck as her face blushed deeply.

Y/n laughed to herself as she finished getting ready for the night; her makeup was light but still stood out against her glowing skin, the golden eyeshadow certainly did wonders.

The pair arrived at the beach house and it already looked jam-packed. Y/n held onto Hitch's hand tightly as they walked through the entrance only to run into a familiar Zeke Yeager; Y/n grimaced seeing her ex's brother.

"Y/n, I haven't seen you in so long." Zeke voiced as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

"Likewise, but you don't have to pretend to be nice. I'm sure you know Eren and I aren't together anymore."

"Pretend? I assure you if I didn't like you. You'd know. So don't be a stranger and visit me sometime." The smile on his face seemed to hold a secret, Y/n wasn't sure she wanted to find out.

"Oh okay... It was good seeing you." Her glossed lips formed a soft smile as he walked away.

"You should fuck him to get back at Eren." Hitch suggested causing Y/n to smack her shoulder harshly.

"Absolutely not. Zeke is not about to be my rebound. Plus he's like too old for me."

"Honey, you had a thing for the tattoo parlor guy, he was too old."

"Levi is very attractive and you know it, Hitch." Y/n defended herself before they both broke into laughter.

"Come on, let's go dance." Hitch said as her laughter had died down and a familiar beat began to play.

As soon as they made their way to the floor, Y/n felt Hitch's hands attach to her waist and she began to grind back against her friend who seemed to be enjoying groping her thighs and hips way too much. Y/n couldn't say she minded too much after all, Hitch's love language was touched. The girls continued fucking around and enjoying their time until Y/n's feet began to hurt.

"I'm gonna go get something to drink, you want anything?" Y/n question as she panted softly.

"Mm, coke and vodka would be nice." Hitch responded as her chest heaved up and down as her eyes stayed focus on something elsewhere; Jean was dancing with some random girl and it was clearly getting to her.

"Girl, go get your man. I'll be fine." Y/n reassured as she pushed her friend towards the male and turned on her heel to find something to drink.

Y/n drank her sweet wine cooler, enjoying herself still until she stumbled into her old friend group. Her dark brown eyes met Mikasa's steel grey ones silently. The dark-skinned woman clenched her jaw and turned away from the other girl as quickly as possible.

"Y/n wait." She heard Sasha call out.

"Do not. I don't feel like losing my cool right now. I'm enjoying myself and I don't have shit to say to any of you." Y/n seethed as she turned back to face them.

"I just want you to understand, we didn't think that-" Sasha started again desperately wanting to get through to the woman.

"Honest do you see how stupid how you sound? You didn't think I'd be the slightest bit upset about my ex fucking and then dating someone I considered to be my friend? Not to mention all of you hid it from me without a second thought." She laughed in disbelief as she had begun to walk off again.

"Why did it matter when you're the one who left him?" Mikasa questioned calmly, but that was enough to set Y/n completely off.

Though she wasn't sure what came first, all Y/n knew that her drink had been thrown at Sasha and she slapped the hell out of Mikasa. Y/n was aware of what it looked like.

She knew that right now she looked like the bad guy, but deep down she couldn't give a damn. Every single fucking fiber in her body had been begging for her finally give in and snap. To give in to the rage that had been tearing her up for the past few weeks. She was angry and rightfully so, they betrayed her trust. Y/n wasn't even aware that she had been screaming until she felt her voice go hoarse

"Fuck you. Fuck all of you."

Y/n was grabbed by an unknown figure that had pulled her away from both girls who had guilt written all over their faces. She was hauled away into a separate room and she came face to face with the man of the hour, Eren Yeager.

"Y/n calm down." His voice that was usually soothing only filled her with more rage.

"No. Why the fuck are you telling them I left you?" She seethed showing his hands away from her body.

"I never said you did. They assumed."

"You should have told them the real reason. That when I said I loved you, you realized you didn't feel the same."

"Y/n..."

"No this is the part where you listen. I'm sick and tired of pretending to be okay when both know the truth. You broke up with me because you can't see yourself settling down with a black girl. That's why you were so quick to go get with a girl that was everything I could never be."

Eren's hand darted out and gently wiped away the tears, that she hadn't even noticed, that flowed down her brown cheeks.

"Y/n that's not why I left. I left because I never experienced love. I grew up in a split household. My father had an affair with my mother, then left to go back to his real family leaving me bitter and angry. I've never experienced romantic love nor have I seen it. I was scared.." He kissed her forehead and held her tightly against his body, despite her struggling.

"I gave you everything I had. Then you tossed me away because you were scared? You went and got with the same person I told you I was worried about. How do you think that makes me feel?" Y/n continued to cry in frustration as she held onto his chest.

"I know.." He stroked over her hair and rocked her slightly.

"I hate you." Her voice whispered.

"....I love you too."

Y/n hated how her heart fluttered at his words, she hated how he could calm her down with a few measly touches, she hated how he made her feel so unsure and nervous. Most importantly, she hated how much she loved him.

"I told you years ago. Your race wasn't and never will be a big deal to me. I love everything about you. I love how your nose scrunches up when you dislike something, I love how you randomly blurt out throwback songs, I love how you rage when you play video games with me." He began to ramble holding onto her tighter only to be silenced by Y/n leaning up to capture his lips into a kiss.

It didn't matter to her that what she was doing was wrong; her brain was on autopilot and she needed him desperately. Y/n wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him closer as tears clouded her vision. The need to know how he felt had finally been sufficed and she could finally be with him in the way she wanted.

Eren hoisted her up in his arms and laid her gently down on the bed behind them, she quickly slipped out of her dress and watched him follow suit, what was to come after they did the unthinkable was not her problem tonight, it was shit future Y/n would have to deal with. There was a heat inside of Y/n that she just had to have him feel tonight.

"I love you." His voice fell deaf upon her ears as he intertwined their hands.

#eren yeager x black reader #eren x black reader #eren jaeger #historia #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #cheating #angst with a happy ending #eren+yeager+x+reader

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rreyie · 3 years

Note

Porco for fluff alphabet?

porco galliard fluff alphabet

warnings- very very mildly suggestive themes

a/n- i think we all need a bf like porco, he’s so sweet i stg

A is for Activites- what do they like to do with their s/o? how do they spend their free time with them?

porco will do anything you want him to do. but a favorite of his is to just go out and explore downtown marley. there’s no specific goal you’re both trying to achieve, just going where the day takes you. downtown marley is crowded, so he’s got a hand holding yours the entire time to ensure you don’t get lost. you’ll both stop in a few different stores, his favorite is whatever the aot equivalent to bath and body works is and the lingerie shop. he wants to buy stuff for you to show he cares, and you’ll probably leave with a bag or two full of different clothes, and just random things you two thought were cool. the one place he insists on stopping at is the deli. he always gets something with at least two kinds of meat, and will pay for yours as well. the day ends with getting back home and doing some cuddling on the couch while he falls asleep on your lap.

B is for Beauty- what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?

porcos favorite feature about you is the way you smile and laugh, also your hands. each time you laugh at one of his jokes, he turns a deep red at the fact that someone finds him entertaining. his world seems to light up when you’re happy and smile at him, and he will cherish each time you do so. he also loves your hands, they’re just perfect for holding and he loves to intertwine your fingers.

C is for Comfort- how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

porco would do anything in his power to make sure you’re smiling by the end of the day. when his s/o feels down, he picks up on it very quickly and immediately asks what’s wrong, and who is causing you this pain. he would want you to take things slow for the day, he’ll be doing all the work for the next 24 hours. if you want affection, he will hold you while you cry into his shoulder. there’s a good chance he will cry with you, since he is upset seeing you like this. when you’re having a panic attack, he drops everything to get to you. if you’re immobilized by the emotion, he will carry you to a secluded room if there’s one nearby to give you some quiet with him. he will embrace you like he never has before, stroking your hair and whispering “you’ll be alright, i’m here honey. take your time.” he will be more understanding if you’re not okay by the end of the day since he knows these things are serious and he wants to make sure you’re completely okay before resuming back to normal.

D is for Dreams- how do they picture their future with their s/o?

porco dreams of having a family with you. once the war is over, he will make it a priority to get the two of you married and move out to a house in marley. porco absolutely adores children, so he would probably two with you. he wants two boys that can have the same kind of bond that he and marcel had. he would probably have enough money at this point that he could retire because of his service in the war, so he will become a stay home dad and watch his two boys. and he will probably name one of his sons marcel jr.

E is for Equal- are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

porco wants both of you to have the same level of commitment and dominance in the relationship.

F is for Fight- would they be easy to forgive their s/o? how are they fighting?

porco has a temper. he’s quick to snap. the fighting was likely initiated by him, possibly because he saw you hanging around reiner for too long today. it never gets violent, but porco can’t control what comes out of his mouth sometimes. he might throw an insult here and there. if you leave the room in tears, he will beat himself up over it and once he’s given you some space, he will apologize while trying to hold back tears because he feels like a shitty boyfriend for doing this to you. if you’re the one who apologizes first, he will pretend to act mad but really he’s not deep down inside because he loves you that much.

G is for Gratitude- how grateful are they in general? are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

porco might not say it, but he appreciates what you’re doing for him. instead, he will do things in return to show he’s grateful, i’ll get into that later down the list. he is overall pretty aware of how dedicated his s/o is to him.

H is for Honesty- do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? or do they share everything?

the only reason that you know everything that’s up with porco is because he vents to you very often. he does keep his fair share of secrets though, but they are very minor- except one. most of his secrets are about the war, one of his best kept and worst secrets about him was that he killed a child while at war with the mid east allied forces. he still feels terrible about it to this day, and wouldn’t want you finding out about what he did during the war.

I is for Inspirational- did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

you likely changed porco more than he changed you. porco has a tough guy exterior and was pretty self absorbed before meeting you, but he learned that it was okay to cry and let his guard down around you. he also became a little more selfless, since he would do anything to protect you.

J is for Jealousy- do they get jealous easily? how do they deal with it?

porco is one to get jealous very easily. he’s possessive too. if he sees you hanging around reiner for a minute too long, he holds a grudge on you. he doesn’t speak to you for the rest of the day, and when you meet up with him to head back to your bedrooms, he just says “so reiner is gonna replace me, huh?” and walks off without another word. you’re gonna have to smother him in kisses to let him know you still love him more than anyone else, and stay the night while he clings to you in his sleep.

K is for Kissing- are they a good kisser? what was the first kiss like?

porco loves to kiss. he’s amazing at it too. his kisses are sloppy, lazy, slow, and teasing, with a lot of tongue and spit. his favorite place to kiss is on your bed just to get some privacy to do whatever you want. he especially loves when you’re both half naked and kissing so he can feel your skin on his. the first kiss was in town next to a fountain, where he confessed his feelings to you. you told him to close his eyes and you went in for it, and he kissed you back instantly. the blush on his cheeks was insane once you pulled away.

L is for Love Confession- how would they confess to their s/o?

after the festival in liberio, he stood with you and watched the fountain in town square. you made a comment on how pretty his eyes looked in the moonlight, and he made a bad attempt at complimenting your face, which made you giggle. hearing you laugh made the butterflies errupt in his stomach, and he knew he couldn’t hide it anymore. he said, “look y/n, i have no clue if you’re gonna hate me after what i’m about to say, if you think i’m weird just say something, but i like you. i have since i met you, and i think i want to be with you- oh god, i don’t even like you, i love you-“ you had to shut him up and kiss him on the lips before he started to ramble about how much he loves you.

M is for Marriage- do they want to get married? how do they propose? what would the marriage be like?

of course porco would want to get married, he’s a family man. he would probably propose somewhere very informally, like you two were talking about it one day and he’s like “well i mean there’s no better person than you that i would want to marry, you would make a wonderful wife-“ and that’s how it all started. you two got married in a church in liberio, with pieck as the maid of honor and zeke as the best man. he cried when he saw you in that white gown, he thought you looked like a princess. the marriage would be fun and laid back, you two would travel a lot before settling down about a year later.

N is for Nicknames- what do they call their s/o?

he calls you “babe” and “baby” a lot. occasionally he will call you “honey” or a variation of your name.

O is for On Cloud Nine- what are they like when they are in love? is it obvious for others? how do they express their feelings?

he’s a flustered, bashful baby. if you even look his way he will turn red. he tries to show off his skills, and wants to make himself stand out above the rest. he does his hair with extra care in the morning and starts to wash his face to make his skin look better. pieck picks up on it first, and she will occasionally say something about it, but all porco will do is grumble something and brush it off. zeke will notice and say something as well. porco expresses his feelings by occasionally complimenting you on your outfit, and sneaking a touch here and there like if he’s brushing a stray piece of hair out of your face. if you do the same to him, his brain will stop working for a moment.

P is for PDA- are they upfront about their relationship? do they brag with their s/o in front of others? or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

porco is a big fan of pda and bragging. especially if you’re within 10 feet of reiner. he makes it very known that he’s taken, the first time he walked into the meeting room in front of the other warriors he literally announced, “oh yeah, y/n is my girlfriend now. just thought you guys should know.” he loves to talk about you with the other guys, not in a bad way but like sharing stories about time you two spent together, how wonderful you are, and quite frankly the other guys are kind of tired of hearing a new story about you every hour. porco won’t hesitate to kiss or show affection in public, not full out making out but like a medium length kiss on the lips is acceptable. he’s always got his hands on you in public too, like an arm slung around your shoulder or just holding your hand. he wants everyone to know you’re his.

Q is for Quirk- some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

not quite sure if this is beneficial in the relationship but he gives the best piggyback rides. he has a really strong back that’s able to lift you up and he loves hearing your little giggles as he hoists you up into the air and onto his back. then he will run all around the place with you on his back in a fruitful attempt to make you laugh and smile.

R is for Romance- how romantic are they? what would they do to make their s/o happy? cliché or rather creative?

porco is in general a very romantic person. he will always treat you and try to make you happy just like to do to him. one of his favorite things to do for you is to take you out to some expensive restaurant in the rich part of marley and treat you to dinner. he wears his best suit and thinks you look absolutely stunning in that outfit of yours, which makes a little blush bloom on his face. he is vocal when it comes to telling you “i love you” and will say it to you at least 3 times a day. when you come back from an expedition in the mid east, he will be waiting for you in the train station with a big sign that says “welcome home y/n” and a bouquet of roses.

S is for Support- are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? do they believe in them?

porco thinks you should go for whatever makes you happy. he doesn’t exactly know how to help, but he will give you words of encouragement- like “you’re doing so well babe!” or “i love how you’re so determined, keep it up!” he truly does believe you can achieve whatever goal you’re working towards, he has a lot of faith in you.

T is for Thrill- do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? or do they prefer a certain routine?

porco loves change, and he would like a new way of doing things. it can be anything from going to a different place for dinner or waking up at a different time, he just wants things to always be different. he values thrill and spice to your relationship, it’s a key element to dating him.

U is for Understanding- how good do they know their partner? are they empathetic?

he will slowly learn more about you throughout your relationship, but empathy is something he needs to work on. every new bit of information he learns about his parter surprises him, and he makes a mental note of it to use for later. empathy is different though, because of his tough guy exterior he didn’t find empathy easy in the beginning. in fact, the first time you vented to him he said something along the lines of “well? get over it. it’s not worth dwelling on it.” when you ran off crying, from then on he made sure to never say that again.

V is for Value- how important is the relationship to them? what is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

your relationship is one of the reasons why he keeps fighting with the war going on. he wants to have that future with you and live a peaceful life after, so in a way it’s a priority.

W is for Wild Card- a random fluff headcanon.

porco is a blanket hog when you go to sleep together. he doesn’t realize it but after he starts to sleep, he will grab the blanket and roll himself in it so that he’s in a blanket burrito and your shivering on the other side. he also snores very loudly. if you wake him up to tell him he will begrudgingly give you some of the blanket, but then he gets cold. he will cling to you the entire night in an effort to keep warm.

X is for XOXO- are they very affectionate? do they love to kiss and cuddle?

porco is a cuddle bug once you get to know him. he especially loves to cuddle in bed or on the couch. he loves it when you fall asleep on him so he can see how pretty your face is when you sleep. porco kisses you many times per day. on the neck, lips, cheek, collarbone, hand, anywhere he can have access to. he loves it when you kiss him back and leave a hickey or love bite.

Y is for Yearning- how will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

he will try to keep in contact with their partner and keep something of theirs by his side always until they come back. if the time is okay, he will write you letters and expect you to write one back saying that you’re alright. he will grab a t shirt you wore out of the hamper and sleep with it for the night because it smells like you. he also might cry a little because he misses you, and he will shed a tear once you come back home with the biggest hug and kiss.

Z is for Zeal- are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? if so, what kind of?

porco would go lengths for the relationship, especially if your life was on the line. he would do everything in his power to make sure you’re safe and comfortable. this is lowkey funny but if you two were in immediate danger, he would let you ride on the back of his titan while he runs to safety. he would sacrifice his life for you as well.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #aot hcs #aot headcanons #snk headcanons #porco headcanons #porco aot #porco snk #snk porco #porco galliard #aot porco #porco fluff #aot fluff #snk fluff

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dingdongitsbees · 3 years

Text

BLACK-EYED SUSAN | LEVI X READER HUNGER GAMES AU

Chapter 13: Rinse and Repeat

Previous - Next

Tw: PTSD, implied suicidal ideation, alcoholism

WC: 5.4k Ao3 link Ask to be added to the taglist! It will be updated weekly on Saturdays

First person version can be found here

Master List

“Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful, it was always just red.” – Kait Rokowski

It had been a few years since your world had gotten simultaneously a million times better and also gone to shit. It hadn’t really hit you two until you had spent a few days back in the homes that had been provided for you. You each had your own house as per usual for victors, but you didn’t need a second. You had spent your life together in a borderline shack, it would feel weird to have the other sleep across the street. But it had been in that gifted house that it finally came crashing down.

All you could see was their faces, all you could feel was that knife in your hand, all you could hear was that goddamn canon. You were sitting on a velvet couch paid for in blood. Now having more than enough food on the table was exchanged for lives. Being able to still exist in the world meant twenty-two people had been ripped from the world.

Levi had been next to you, so he just held you, his shoulders shuddering just as bad as yours, and you cried. You just cried. There’s nothing you can do or say or think to make anything like that better. Only time can help, and to be honest it isn’t very good at its job.

The trip to each district took what was left out of you two. Combined you had killed tributes of five districts out of the other eleven. Almost fucking half. Most of their families just glared at you on their platforms as their child’s face was displayed behind them as you recited propaganda scripts.

District Ten was hard for you. They had surprised you to be honest, neither of Sasha’s nor Connie’s family looked at you with any disdain. All you could feel was pity radiating off of them, especially from Sasha’s father. She told you how he had taught her how to shoot, you almost deviated off script to say how you learnt vicariously through his daughter, how kind she and funny she was.

Connie’s siblings hurt to look at. They looked at you with such big eyes. They should have hated you, they really fucking should have. Their brother died in one of the most horrific ways possible yet they stared at you as if you were one of their sisters. The normal people in front of the stage only copied their looks, none of them hated you for taking away two souls. It didn’t make any fucking sense. It would have been better if they had just heckled you. Just yelled at you and screamed at you, taking the brunt of their words was the least you could do for exchanging your life for one their own.

District Eleven wasn’t so kind to Levi. Kaya’s family looked like they were two seconds from breaking on to the main stage and choking him to death right there. He might have let them. Niccolo’s family was confusing. There was obviously no forgiveness for how Levi killed their son, a wild animal in a spree of rage, but they didn’t look angry. Levi had told you he had just said a few words over Niccolo before coming back, maybe those words were enough remorse for them to not want his head on a spike.

However, the civilians in the crowd didn’t agree. They had to be restrained from climbing up, yelling threats and taunts, about how he could kill a little girl without a second glance, how he took pleasure in killing Niccolo. Levi kept his head down, his undercut blinding his view, but his hand shook in yours. You did the speech on behalf of the both of you.

The districts from Nine to Five didn’t give two shits about you, maybe only some had mild curiosity. Their glazed-over eyes just stared, clearly bored as you were from the fuckery spilling from your lips. Some of the families glared only because their child wasn’t standing up there instead of you, but you couldn’t blame them for that.

One was…weird to say the least. Neither of you had many interactions with either Annie or Bertolt, but you two lead them to their deaths. Levi may have killed Annie directly but Bertolt’s murder was just cruel, you knew that, but you had thrown that rock anyway. Both of their families just looked devoid of any emotion, the crowd didn’t seem to care, that’s One for you, but their parents just looked empty. The speech went smoothly.

Three was strange as well, you never met nor saw their girl, but Falco you certainly had, but you also hadn’t killed him, in reality your relationship him was positive. They didn’t seem to hate you, quite the opposite really, they seemed to be happy you were there. Three was no stranger to careers betraying and killing their tributes so they were probably just happy Reiner didn’t win and it had been because of your own hands. Still, it was strange. Falco’s older brother, the one you had seen in the reaping recording, had looked on the brink of tears but he stayed strong, his back straight and head up high. They probably wouldn’t have looked at you the same if Falco had gone with you. Someone would have needed to kill him at some point anyway, it just so happened it wasn’t you.

Two was painful. Instead of two separate families standing on their respective platforms it was just one. There was confliction in their eyes for sure, you were surprised they could even stand to be around each other, their sister or bother’s son killing their child. But they stood together. Staring at you with a mix of hate and affection. Levi had to do the speech that time.

Four was hard once again, but only because of one person, specifically Marcel’s younger brother. He flew daggers from his eyes, pure fury ran through his veins. He probably would have killed you both if he had the chance, probably would have been good at it too. You could only begin to imagine the anger he had stored up since you had sliced his brother’s throat.

You recognised him in the reaping for the next game.

He used his anger well.

At the end of the trip you had to go to the Capitol once again for the Presidents party. You nearly preferred the arena.

Floch was sweating buckets under Zeke’s gaze the entire time and drank himself into a stupor, avoiding you both at every turn which you were glad for. People reached for you like you were statues, brushing your hair and clothes and bodies like you were pets. Nick was the only thing stopping you from cursing everyone in the vicinity, Levi came close. Zeke watched from his balcony, eyes narrowed and sipping on champagne waiting for one of you to misstep so he could order a bullet into your heads.

When you got home you two didn’t know what to do. You both fucked around for a year, bought anything that caught your eyes at the hub no matter if it was an ugly piece of pottery or a toy. You bought a lot of liquor too and drank most in one go. The burning in your throats let you forget the inferno in your brains. A small price to pay for some peace and quiet between neurons.

You two were rarely sober for the first few months. You’d wake up and have whiskey for breakfast, you’d walk around town, maybe sneak through the fence, and have some gin, and if it was a particularly bad day you’d opt for tequila as your bedtime stories.

People in the streets knew to leave you alone, just to let you wallow a bit, they hadn’t seen many victors, but they could guess that starting up conversations with people on the knife’s edge was a good way to get punched. Hannes talked to you two occasionally, usually at the hub, cheering your bottles with his flask. He didn’t ask about the game, he saw enough anyway, he just pretended you were those troublemaker kids you had been when you left.

It was Hanji of all people that got you out of it, though she wasn’t one to talk when it came to the number of empty bottles in your living room, but she at least cut the number down a bit or swapped out the drinks for something weaker much to your slurred complaints.

The months after that were hard, letting the built-up trauma hit you like a train. You both started getting nightmares.

One of you would wake up already screaming or crying or be entirely frozen still and unable to move as their body quaked. The other would hold on to them until their tremors ceased and their breath evened again. Then you’d just rinse and repeat the next night.

Rinse and repeat.

Flinch at a raised voice, go numb at the sight of blood, start hyperventilating when you were sure you had seen another tribute in the crowd.

Try not to let yourself die.

Rinse and repeat.

Then the next game came around. You both offered to go as mentors, to let Hanji take a backseat from the role after her isolating years, she came to make sure you didn’t say something stupid, but she just got to hang around without much of a care.

The two kids that you got weren’t good. You knew the second that their names were called that they were goners. Wouldn’t make it in the bloodbath, and even if they ran, they probably wouldn’t live past the first day. You learnt to push their names away. It didn’t help any to hang on to them.

The kids weren’t dumb, they knew that too.

There was a little bit of hope when they looked at you however, a hope that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

Porco had sliced both of their throats open within the first minute. Porco won the title of victor in only three days with a kill count of eight. They never had a chance.

You think that was the last time you cried.

When mentors go to the Capitol and watch the feed, they sit in a room together connected to an ongoing party that never stops until the games do, infested with sponsors and government officials. Only mentors are allowed in that room, not even titan servants. You just needed a room to be in to be able to grieve only with people that understood.

They always looked after the new mentors, it didn’t matter the districts or even if their tribute killed yours, they’d hold you, get you a glass of water or usually something stronger, just let you get everything out and topped up makeup on your red rimmed eyes before you got ambushed by press outside the door. Sometimes the career districts were prickly, but only the ones that truly cared about the kids became mentors anyway, so they weren’t ones to give you shit.

It just sort of numbed you after that. You’re not sure if you could even remember all the kids you sent to their deaths. No, you definitely couldn’t, and you didn’t plan to.

Without fail every year they always got killed in the bloodbath, and every year without fail you’d drill into them to just run away, but they just wouldn’t listen, or the careers just didn’t let them leave. You both spent most of your time in the Capitol just flicking off the tops of third bottles and taking quiet bets on who was going to win or who’d kill who. Levi was always right.

It was actually Erwin’s idea to do something back at Twelve, to find something to pour yourselves into. So, after the 70th Hunger Games you went back and pushed your ludicrous amount of money to builders to create an orphanage. The one on your side of Twelve was shit and didn’t have the funding nor space, it was the reason you two had never gone to it yourselves, so you gave them some of your load too so they could get food on the table for once.

Kids started trickling in, you didn’t run the place yourselves, you didn’t have the emotional range to do something like that anymore and you’d probably do more harm than good as their caretakers, they didn’t need a pair of fucked up twenty-year-olds to lead them through life. But you visited, making sure everything was up to scratch and there was no complaints or concerns from the kids about the people you had employed or the quality of their beds and food or if they needed some more toys to play with.

Levi always made sure the place was meticulous, and it was kinda funny how he used cleaning as his way to bond with the kids. They always complained but they never said no when he asked for their help. You helped kids with schoolwork and funded whatever type of skill they wanted to learn.

“You wanna paint? Here’s an easel and some paints from the Capitol that my designer friend sent over.”

It was hard to smile but at least you could help them to.

One day, when you two had dropped in to visit before you went to stock up on vodka, a boy came up to you with big emerald eyes, with a black-haired girl trailing after him. He asked a question that got everyone surrounding you looking up from their sandwiches.

“Can you teach us how to fight?”

And so you did. Twelve had always been at a disadvantage, nothing in your district aided you for the Games, the closet you’d had was learning about mines and explosions or having the physical strength to lift a pickaxe but that was only available when you worked in the mineshafts at eighteen, the last year qualifying for the reaping, and eighteen-years-olds were never picked.

So usually any kid that went in was utterly fucked.

Unless you tried changing that.

You started small. Learning how to throw a proper punch or kick, things you had learnt on the streets stirring up trouble. How to balance yourself in a proper stance so a gust of wind or a shove from a career wouldn’t send you stumbling.

You taught them the things you learnt in the Capitol and in the training room; what foods were safe, how to set a trap, how to treat a wound, how to conduct an interview, how to form an alliance, who to avoid.

It was a long time before you held a blade again.

They had begged you for months to just teach them how to knife fight, but the idea still shook you. You hadn’t held a throwing knife in your hand for years, but it still melded uncomfortably comfortable into your palm. You could still throw it and hit it dead on centre. You knew if the throw was hard enough to go through someone’s skull. You knew how long it would take for their body to hit the ground if it were a clean shot, and how long it would take if it wasn’t. You knew how many milliseconds it would take for the canon to fire.

Picking up a knife again, only if to teach, was a torturous process, but you didn’t let them know that. You would just drink a little more that night.

“Eren keep your arms up! Try and copy Mikasa’s form!” you barked.

They all stood in a line, throwing knives into hay bales, some making it, most missing. Mikasa was unsurprisingly the former, Eren was unsurprisingly the latter. The two were always the hardest at work though it seemed it was usually driven by Eren’s ambition. The kid wasn’t gifted with natural talent but he was stubborn enough to try and make up for it. They had come to the orphanage after Mikasa’s parents were murdered over some debt they couldn’t pay and Eren lost his mum to a mine explosion and then his father caught something bad from his own patient.

It was always them begging you (well Eren at least, Mikasa would just ask nicely) for more lessons and whatever advice they could squeeze out of you. It frightened you a little, Eren’s enthusiasm, you had seen that face before.

It was an unspoken truth that they were your favourites of the bunch, the others didn’t take offence to it, it was just those two were always coming up to you two whenever they got the chance, though you were scared it was because they reminded you of an overconfident kid and the one trying to take care of them. You tried to pretend you didn’t see Gabi and Falco when you looked at them.

“I’m trying but my arm’s starting to feel heavy!” Eren said, not even bothering to turn his head.

“You brats don’t have time to get tired when you’re in there so just get used to it,” Levi replied.

He walked behind them, arms crossed as he analysed each of them, you tried not to make a joke that Eren and Mikasa were taller than him now. He muttered out tips to those who needed it, and compliments to those who deserved it, you had tried to get him to coddle them just a little bit but then he said overestimating yourself just gets your killed and you couldn’t say anything to that. When he got to the end of the line of kids, he wandered back over to you and you gave a crooked smile.

He bumped his shoulder into yours before turning around and standing next to you, you both falling into your usual silence as you just watched.

“There’s more of them than usual,” Levi noted and you nodded absentmindedly.

“It’s today, it makes them nervous.”

“Zeke never picks them though.”

That was true, when you had first started up the orphanage, you had expected Zeke to jump at the opportunity, there was no way he wasn’t privy to your every movement let alone something that required legal documents to be signed, so how he hadn’t rigged the reaping to pull one of your kids was honestly getting a little unnerving.

But each year a pair of kids were picked that you didn’t recognise, and you’d breathe a sigh of relief; it’s much easier to forget strangers.

You realised that the games were rigged at the 71st games, you had noticed that all the slips of paper you could see, even though they were folded in half, would all start with the same letter, it peeking out, and then the name called out would match. You asked Hanji afterwards, cause there was no way she hadn’t noticed, and she just laughed in your face.

“It’s a show, of course they choose their cast.”

You leant your head on his shoulder as you watched, he leant his head too. His arms untangled themselves from each other and he let one fall, letting his pinkie interlock with your waiting one. You both still being there was a constant surprise and an unspoken threat, because someday, when Zeke got tired, or you did something to piss him off, that fact might not be so true anymore.

But Levi’s there now, maybe not tomorrow, but today at least, and you could only hope that the trend remained.

“Cut it out dude!”

You both whipped your heads around, finding two kids wrestling on the ground. They panted as they tried to get the advantage, dust billowing around them as the other kids stared. Neither of you could be bothered to move. Eventually one straddled the other, pinning him to the dirt.

Levi’s pinkie tightened.

The boy on the ground whined while the other grinned in victory before joining his empty hands together and sending them down onto the boy’s chest.

Levi stiffened beneath you and alarm bells blared in your head.

The boy started pretending to stab him.

“Die! Die! Die!”

The kids around them laughed.

The boy beneath told him to stop.

Levi’s breath shortened.

You were at the kids in a second, pulling them off one another.

“That’s enough.”

They went silent, the boys looking down to the ground in shame, though they didn’t know why you were trying so hard not to glare.

“Time to pack up anyway, you guys need to get ready for the reaping,” you said, you were just greeted with whinges, “Put the knives in the tub you lot. Now.”

They instantly shut up, knowing that tone of yours was not to be messed with under any circumstances. They all shuffled off, throwing the knives in, you always counted them all in case one of them took one, but they were good kids.

Levi nodded at them as they filed back inside the building, jaw still tight. As soon as they were all gone, Eren and Mikasa waving goodbye at the end of the line, you sprinted back over, running your hands through his hair as you brought his face to your shoulder.

“Shh it’s okay it’s okay.”

A shudder whipped through him.

You kissed his temple. “You’re not in the arena, you’re in Twelve. I’m not about to die and neither are you. No one is dying and no one is going to. Just breathe, just focus on my voice and breathe.”

Eventually he stilled again, air flowing through his lungs like normal. It didn’t happen as much anymore, but it still happened. It probably didn’t help that he was about to meet two dead kids.

“Let’s go home, yeah?”

He nodded into your shoulder before finally raising his head, sliding over his façade again. You two of all people had to be the strong ones today, you couldn’t show fear, you weren’t allowed to anymore.

The walk home was silent, most people were inside or rushing home to get ready. You dropped past the hub quickly and you bought some bottles from your usual, Levi didn’t say a word, just stared into space. You passed the town square, the camera crews were nearly all set up, the barriers were getting placed. Hannes was testing the mic on the stage, he sent you a nod that you sent back.

The Victor’s village was always weird to see, after passing smog polluted houses with windows that are barely transparent anymore with walls that are starting to tilt, you come to a pristine gate. The separation pissed you off like it was saying you were better than them, but Nick would have your head if you even suggested taking it down. The houses were beautiful too. Maybe it was just an average house for a Capitol citizen, maybe a little nicer, but it looked like a goddamn king’s estate compared to everywhere else in Twelve.

People would say you deserved it, to have a nice home. It made you want to puke.

You could see Hanji through her window, lounging on a couch, bottle of whiskey in hand. Seemed like a plan.

You squeezed Levi’s hand as you unlocked the door and led him inside. You shed your jackets and shoes and put away your bottles, leaving one out. You glanced to him, he was still sort of out of it, he needed quietness, maybe a bath. Yeah a bath would do, those always calmed him down.

You trekked up the stairs, on the landing you let yourself take a little run up and slide across the wooden floorboards on your socks towards the bathroom door. Silly shit helped sometimes.

You reached out and grabbed the handle and turned it, pushing forward on the door. It let out an ungodly and far too familiar screech.

You gasped and slammed your back into the wall.

Fuck.

Your breath was getting quicker, not letting your lungs get enough oxygen before taking another gulp.

Fuck fuck fuck.

You crouched down, elbows on your knees as you pressed your palms into your eyes at a sad attempt to get your brain to stop.

You could only see him, or in more exact terms, you could only see his melted remains.

Fuck.

Rapid thumps came from the stairwell, you didn’t look up as arms enveloped you.

You let out a shaky breath. “I’m fine.”

He didn’t say anything, just kissed your head before holding you tighter. Your need to talk to communicate was even less than it used to be ever since the Games. There were things you two didn’t need to speak about, you just acted on, knowing exactly what to do.

Though there were moments you didn’t want to talk about, and you didn’t plan to talk about them either. He didn’t mention finding you sobbing on the bathroom floor surrounded by spilled sleeping pills and you didn’t mention waking up alone in bed and finding him completely out of it on the roof of the orphanage. You didn’t talk about it, but you held each other a little tighter just as you did both of those nights.

“I’ll get some oil for it when we get back,” Levi whispered.

You nodded into his chest.

“Bath?” he asked.

You nodded again.

Warm water has magical powers you swore, it really shouldn’t be able to make someone feel so good, to be able to relax and almost drift away forgetting about the possibility of drowning. What a lame way to go out, though it was much nicer than the ways you’d seen.

You laid on Levi’s chest as the water rippled around your little movements. He played with your pruned fingers, touching the fingertips with his own like it was an interactive museum exhibit. You watched, fascinated by his fascination, blinking slowly as the bath bled out all of your stress.

Moments like that were nice, but it had to be broken today. You couldn’t stay in that warm heaven forever, though it was quite tempting, you wouldn’t exactly be missing out on the adventure of a lifetime.

You ruffled the towel through your hair as you sipped the vodka. The burn and taste were barely noticeable, even the effect had begun to wear off or maybe you had just gotten better at being under the influence.

“Catch.”

You threw the bottle to Levi on the couch who caught it without a second glance, immediately taking a few gulps of it himself.

“Hello you two.”

You both looked to the door, sending tight smiles to your usual guest, though to be honest your home was hers and hers was yours at that point.

She walked behind Levi’s couch and took the bottle that he already had extended to her, taking a gulp before placing it on a side table.

“Ready to send children to die?”

The reaping went as usual. Hanji welcomed everyone to the 74th Hunger Games, two kids got reaped, one fifteen-year-old and one thirteen-year-old, you couldn’t remember which was which. You waited in the train, neither of them came up to talk to you and just ate up all the food they could before passing out on the nicest bed they would ever sleep in. You didn’t bother them, one look and you knew they were a lost cause.

The process went on.

Neither were that charismatic, they were only memorable because they were last and that was pushing it as is. They both got low scores, a four and a six. The thirteen-year-old cried himself to sleep the night before, or he might have, you wouldn’t know, you slept through it.

That morning you went up to the roof with them, got in the mentor’s hovercraft and just twiddled your thumbs, wondering who was going to win that year or what the arena was going to look like. You went in, sitting in the back of a cart, going through the maze of corridors beneath the grand stage, not bothering to focus in your eyes to see your surroundings. It was just grey walls anyway.

You yawned when you got to the centre, scratching the back of your neck as you tried to find your tributes amongst all of the shaking teenagers.

A finger tapped you on the shoulder. You spun around to see the girl from…Seven? She grinned, her eyes crinkling.

“I just wanted to say I think you’re really cool, I really admire what you and Levi did in your games.”

You blinked.

“Oh, is that so? Good luck then I guess.”

She smiled even wider before running off with a wave. You dragged a hand over your face before heading over to your tribute waiting for you.

It was a forest arena, nothing too special.

The games had long since started when you got back to main city of the Capitol and went into the sponsor party, both of you immediately beelined for the mentor room. You watched as replays showed one getting killed in the bloodbath the other getting hunted down by none other than the careers. You just stared at their slow-mo screaming faces and sighed.

You didn’t cry, you didn’t even blink. You did the first time but after that it’s just been shut away. Thankfully there was no new mentors that year, you didn’t have to deal with sobbing messes. You were too exhausted to care for someone anymore. Compassion doesn’t come cheap.

The mentor room was filled with pain as always, most were just trying to unlearn two names as quickly as possible, drowning their neurons in liquor so they could pretend that two faces weren’t burnt into their brains. It won’t be enough, it never is. You knew that too now.

Some of the others in the room weren’t mentors but they were victors all the same, having just grabbed a free trip to the Capitol so they could bum off some high-class booze. Couldn’t blame them. They were lucky though, the other districts, having more than three victors meant they had the option of just staying home and just ignoring the screen. They didn’t have to know the kids.

You two spent the rest of your time in silence, going back up to the penthouse to sleep before coming back, hoping the whole ordeal would be over soon.

The girl that talked to you before it started, a girl from Eight you had learned, was still alive though, and you couldn’t help but cheer for her a little bit. She started an alliance with a girl from Six, both doing well against the attempted threats on their lives by the careers. Soon they had made it to the last few with only a few scratches to show the world, much better than your leg to say the least. It still ached every once in a while.

But you were still surprised when her little duo alliance were the last ones left. Their mentors were on the edges of their seats, hands covering their noses and mouths like a prayer, eyes glued to the screen.

Then the girl from Eight did something fucking stupid, something that made everyone’s breath hitch around the country.

She brought out some poisonous berries. They had killed a career with them, not needing to get into a fight, but then they held grenades in the form of blueberries in their blood-stained hands.

They brought it to their mouths as the room cursed in unison, people rose from their seats, you could hear people yelling outside the door. They both hesitated for a second as they counted down but plopped them in their mouths anyway.

Two canons fired in quick succession.

The transmission was as silent as the room. No one knew what to do. You stared at the screen with two dead kids. There wasn’t going to be a victor. There wasn’t going to be a victor because they copied you.

“I really admire what you and Levi did in your games.”

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

The room slowly turned to you two as your heart hammered in your chest, Levi’s hand fumbled for yours.

You were fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.

a/n: sorry this chapter was late! this was mainly just summary but we’ll really get into it next chapter

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haliyam · 3 years

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zeke x reader/oc, slight levi x reader/oc

summary: Levi slips into the Liberio internment zone during the festival and finds himself distracted. (Season 4 and manga spoilers ahead)

Reader does have a background that’s hinted at, default name Lucy, but if you have the InteractiveFics browser extension, please feel free to use it to change your first name! This is actually part of a series I'm hoping to write (brain willing lol), but this can stand alone too.

AO3 link if you prefer to read there

hello! i haven’t been on tumblr in a while but stumbling back into aot made me need to write something, and everyone’s fics and gifs here are amazing!

Jean looks around, tilting the brim of his hat forward just before they cover his eyes. “You sure about this, Captain?”

“Nothing wrong with making sure they haven’t caught on,” Levi nods, adjusting the lapel of his jacket. “Or that that bastard hasn’t changed his mind and informed on us to his superiors.”

Jean’s eyes flicker to his at the very thought. He spots a familiar hesitation in them, but it’s quickly fettered away with a nod. When Levi is sure he has nothing more to say, he returns it, and Jean departs for the crowd with a casual swagger that belies his doubt.

Levi hasn’t asked them their opinions on this operation. Of course, they’ve all offered it anyway—but Hange has decided, and he trusts their decision. On that point, the Scouts had all agreed.

Today the internment zone gates are open to all visitors, Eldian or not. Triangular streamers of all colors canopy the streets, and flutes and drums and instruments he’s never heard sound out in joyous cacophony in the near distance, tempting curious ears from beyond the gates. The festival is definitely a trap—but admittedly, a beautiful one. He’s never seen this much cheer since Historia’s ascension, or maybe since they retook Wall Maria. Back then he hadn’t exactly participated, much less left his quarters until it was later and Hange insisted he show himself… but this celebration is in full swing. Between Jean, Connie, and Sasha, Jean was the best choice to bring along. He’s the most likely to stay on track.

...Which is why it shames Levi when he’s caught off guard staring into a stall filled with all kinds of … food, he can only guess. Onyankopon introduced them to new desserts, but this is different. Bright and vivid, the tangy scent of them fills the air, but they’re not lollipops or candy or chocolate. He was supposed to turn the corner into an alley right before this one when he spotted it, and now…

“Here.”

A packet of one of the strange desserts is shoved into his face so quickly that he almost darts back. He reins it in at the last minute, only fixing a glare upon whoever dared invade his personal space like that, much less present themselves as a threat.

You.

A young woman in a simple dress, hand clasped around a packet of mouth-watering orange-yellow strips of the stuff.

“Here,” you smile politely, apparently unfazed by the suspicion he levels at you.

“What is that?”

“Dried mangoes,” you reply, taking a step or two closer to let your arm relax. “You were looking at them, right? They come chocolate-covered, too, but I say try these before the other variants.”

He doesn’t answer. The people manning the stalls beneath the vivid tents in the festival have all been overly friendly, but that’s par for the course, and they know to turn to their next prospective customer when he quickly walks past. Damn his own eyes. They almost make him regret his rule not to accept anything from anyone unvetted. “No thanks.”

Now you give him a different look. A curious one, which makes him almost curse under his breath. He’s supposed to blend in; not draw attention to himself. Levi turns away, heading down the road again and meaning to turn for the alley once he’s shaken you, but you’re already walking next to him.

“Have we met?” you ask, still looking at him.

“No.” He thinks he would remember if you had. And this isn’t good. Now you’ll try to commit his face to memory.

But you look away instead as you bar his way once more—down, to be specific, so you can fish a small piece of the dessert from the packet and take a bite. “Not poisoned,” you promise, clearly biting back a grin while you pause to chew. Infuriatingly, you begin to mirror his squint. “You aren’t from around here, are you?”

He stares at you, and is still deciding between bewilderment or irritation when you continue, “It’s not a bad thing. I’m glad that you decided to drop by.”

“What?”

At least the look he gives you makes you recoil just a little now. That’s more what Levi is accustomed to. But it doesn’t stop you from talking. “You’re not from the zone,” you answer, motioning to his bandless left arm. “Not many outsiders want to come, in spite of the festival… so thank you for giving it a chance.”

You extend your arm again, your hand and the packet almost touching his chest in this renewed offer.

He really shouldn’t be doing this. He should be pointing you toward a distraction and leaving, or otherwise putting you off to the extent that you voluntarily leave him alone yourself. But the hope in your gaze is too tender to spoil, reminds him of too many in the past who deserved more than him to be here now—or it’s the festival getting to him.

With a sigh, Levi takes a strip of dried mango from the packet and watches your lips curve upward into a bright smile. He shakes his head, barely just stopping from rolling his eyes as he thinks about how you probably picked a dessert far too sweet for his tastes—but he’s in for another shock when he takes a bite and finds it sour instead. Well, sweet in parts and sour in others. It’s different, but he doesn’t dislike it at all.

It must show on his face as he chews, which is terrible, because you take it as an invitation to speak again. “They’re from the southeastern archipelago. Eldia never conquered much of that continent—and thank goodness for that,” you seem to add quickly for good measure, “but it did pick up a few of their delicacies. It’s common Eldian fare whenever they’re in season.”

“I see,” he says, just to be forgettable. “Thank you.” It’s likely that being rude will make someone like you remember him more, and that isn’t his goal here today. As he swallows the strip (it was too small), Levi almost doesn’t notice you nudging him forward toward the next stall. But he does, and he gives you a look. “What do you think you’re doing?”

You grin sheepishly, knowing you’ve been caught. “I never meet non-Eldians within the zone. Especially none like you. I'm going to tour you around the stalls a little - I know the scents might be confusing, and the armbands are… well. But there are good, honest people here.”

“That so?” the remark is aimed toward you, because his suspicions remain, but he realizes his mistake when your eyes look even more earnest than before.

“There are. And good food, as you can tell,” you say proudly. You offer him the packet again. “Let me show you.”

He should really get going. He and Jean mean to rendezvous in an hour, and he still hasn’t left the festival grounds.

But the look in your eyes tells him you’re going to be very annoying if he refuses. Or maybe that’s what he tells himself when he lets you.

This is how Levi finds himself guided around the festival that afternoon, getting all sorts of history lessons on food (and tea) as he tries them - but only bites, and very reluctantly of course, because he doesn’t care to get too full before tonight, when his stomach has already begun to turn. It’s that he knows he has no right to enjoy himself with the novelty of this event, with the optimism in your quiet laughter when he balks at the spicy undercurrent in the skewer of meat you have the audacity to stick into his hand. Not when he knows what’s going to happen tonight. Not when he doesn’t even know your name.

You tell him, finally, when you take a break by a quiet corner in the festival. Over here they’re selling older Eldian art pieces, some painted and others carved figurines, and the scent of lacquered wood faintly invades his senses. He gets a brief respite only when you lean closer to him to let a passing merchant through. Lilies. “I’m Lucy. I thought you should know the name of your tour guide.”

The name sounds familiar. It’s probably a common one he heard during their last visit.

You’re holding your hand out to him, expectation now in your gaze. He’s clearly spoiled you.

Levi stares at your hand. He doesn’t care to shake it, but again—better to be forgettable. He wracks his mind for a name.

“Kenny.”

Kenny? Levi inwardly sighs.

“It’s nice to meet you, Kenny.” You exchange a good, solid handshake, but you are quick to pull away immediately after. Why? Has he been compromised?

He hopes not, as you give him a reassuring smile and look ahead. At the far, far end of the next avenue is the plaza where the crowds will settle tonight, but you can’t see it from here. “Are you here for Willy’s play tonight?”

“Isn’t everyone?”

“Between you and me,” you say, leaning just a bit closer again as you move on from the area and smile at a waving shopkeep, “It’s probably going to be boring. I would leave after the festival.”

Levi looks down at you, meets your gaze with a critical eye for the first time since your meeting. He ignores the way the afternoon sun sets a golden highlight around your hair. “You think so?”

If you notice, you deflect his look with a little snort. “The Tyburs,” you almost spit the name, with a venom not unfamiliar to someone in his line of work but uncharacteristic enough of what he’s seen of you that he spares you a blink. “The Tybur family’s official policy is to leave the rest of the Eldians on the wayside while they live in their beautiful estates. Why speak now?” Your hand, gentle all this time paying the vendors, passing him food, tossing it in your mouth, now clenches at your side. “He’s a coward. So…”

You trail off, biting your tongue as you turn away briefly. Hatred is something far too familiar for Levi to balk at, and so he doesn’t. Because it wasn’t hatred he saw in your eyes, but a strange defeat. He has to wonder, but he stops himself before he can. That will be moot after tonight.

“He’s saying something now,” he replies blankly, letting you hear the shrug in his tone. He doesn’t really care to defend someone with only a few hours left to live, but maybe he feels guilty for knowing even that much. Death has always been a certainty in his life, but the how and the when? “Some people never say anything at all.”

His words break you out of your stupor. It appears you weren’t really talking to him after all, but now he wishes he bit his tongue. The idea of you leaving before the play actually sounds like a good one, and he should not have gainsaid it.

“I suppose you have a point,” you say, looking slightly abashed at your outburst. Sighing, you gesture around the area. “So what do you think? Not bad for a home of devils, right?”

The question has him turning toward you so sharply that you begin to squirm under his gaze. The truth is you’ve been able to deflect his uninterested, even hostile expressions so far, but this one is new. His eyes are walled off for the most part, but a telling indignation flashes across his grey eyes so quickly you wonder if you even saw it. He sees it in the way you search them.

You gulp and then clear your throat. “I lived here when I was younger,” you explain, appearing both frightened and encouraged. Ultimately unable to withstand his gaze, you start to walk again, down the road toward the plaza.

He hardly notices himself following suit. “You left?” You were allowed to?

“My family isn’t from Liberio,” you admit, slowing to keep apace. “I came here to join the Warrior program when I was little.”

Now the expression in his eyes is indecipherable, but curiosity gives it the smallest edge as his gaze flits to your armband. Pale grey, almost white.

“I didn’t make it,” you say, quickly, since bringing up Marley’s prized Warriors with anyone from outside of the motherland is an awful idea this soon, “so I was called back home. But I had fond memories of this place, all things considered, and now I’ve chosen it as mine.”

A strange feeling now worms its way into Levi’s chest. He’s already managed to shut off his thoughts and apprehensions about tonight’s operation - they can’t afford doubts, after all, and anyway those have never stopped him from getting the job done - but it makes him uncomfortable.

“Where do you live?” Will you be spared the worst of it?

You look surprised, but you smile all the same. “A few blocks from here. An old doctor and his family let me stay with them when I was little, and I still stay there now. Now I… work at the hospital in the zone.”

“You’re a doctor too?”

The question seems to dismay you. “Not exactly.”

He frowns before he can help it. “You’re pretty dodgy for a tour guide.”

Now you can’t help but laugh in what almost looks like offense. “Me? I’m the one who’s been talking about myself, between the two of us,” you say, your indignation diluted with your ringing mirth. It sounds clearly over the din. “I don’t even know where you’re from!”

“You do. Not here.”

Levi feels the side of his mouth quirk when you laugh at such a small remark, but you manage to get a hold of yourself before he can respond.

You meet his gaze again, shaking your head in disbelief, and something appears to click in your mind as your lips part with revelation.

“You’re a war veteran, aren’t you?’

Levi graces you with another blink. “What?”

“I won’t ask where,” you promise again, raising a hand in surrender. “You just remind me of someone I’ve met at the hospital.”

He quirks a brow. “How should I take that?”

“Oh! Not as an insult!” you laugh again, covering your mouth, but your lips are pursed, still stifling another smile when you lower your hand. It takes another moment for you to compose yourself. “I meant rather that… you have soulful eyes.”

His soulful eyes stare straight at you, utterly deadpan. “Soulful.”

You stand by it, clearly suppressing mirth again. “Soulful.”

Levi sighs with some exasperation, as if to wonder how his life choices have led to him having to put up with all this, and it must be the most you’ve gotten out of this man since you interrupted his consideration of those snacks. Somehow you can tell that even his irritation should flatter you. “Anyway,” you say, when he seems resigned to all this, “if you aren’t completely sold on watching the play tonight, maybe you can drop by the hospital instead.”

Levi narrows his eyes at you. “Why would I do that?”

“Well… we don’t get visitors often. But the patients always appreciate them.” After a pause, you add, “Not always. But even just sitting with them is something.”

His furrowed brow relaxes. Not that he’ll be able to say yes - not that he wants to - and not that he’s ever cared all that much for bleeding hearts. It’s really more the determination in your gaze that gets him. Like you’re not exactly going to take no for an answer, or worse, and maybe closer to his heart, that you refuse to let the possibility cross your mind.

“There’s one patient I would love to introduce to you,” you continue, when you catch the hesitation in his silence. “He calls himself K—“

“Lucy?”

A familiar voice calls your name from amid the crowd. The smile that simply illuminates your features as you turn to look over your shoulder draws Levi’s eyes to yours rather than to your mouth this time.

Before you can look, a pair of arms encircles your waist, a beard nuzzling your neck while you squirm and laugh, trying to elbow your way out of the embrace to no avail. It’s token resistance that leads only to his nose nudging at your jaw, mouth grazing your neck. “Zeke, stop!”

“So this is where you’ve been hiding,” he murmurs, his glasses nudging your cheek, whisper tickling your skin. “Meeting ran late. You know how Magath is.”

“I know,” you say as you manage to wrangle your way out of his grasp. “But please don’t do that in front of my new—“

You glance to the side with an apology ready for him, but Levi has disappeared. Your hands grasp Zeke’s sleeve for balance as you get on your tiptoes, but you cannot spot his hat among the crowd.

“—friend.” You frown. “He was just here.”

Zeke quirks a brow. “Who?”

“Kenny,” you say. “He was wearing a dark suit and a fedora. Just a little taller than me, black hair… you didn’t see him? And—are you all right?” You reach for his fingers, kneading at the pads of them with yours. “Your hands are so cold.”

Zeke shakes his head, dismissing your second question. “A little taller than you,” he enunciates instead, withdrawing his hands to make a show of stroking his beard. “So did I see another runt? The answer is no, sorry.”

You give his hip a light smack. “I’m not a runt. I’m taller than Pieck!”

“By an inch.” When you make a face at him, Zeke smiles, hands pawing at your shoulders before running down your back and pulling you to him, your chest flush against the wall of his stomach. “Do you want us to look for your Kenny?” he asks, his thumb ghosting your lip.

“He’s not my Kenny,” you give him a look, even though he knows his hands are already giving you other ideas. His other one is stroking your waist. “I just thought he looked lost.”

“My bleeding heart,” he says fondly. “You can’t save everyone.”

You shoot him a look that he ignores. This isn’t the place to get into that discussion, so you shrug it off. “I guess I was imposing on him. At one point he seemed like he’d rather drink rotten milk than listen to me. I just thought we’d built a rapport...”

Zeke snorts. “Okay, okay. I’ll listen to you.”

You squint at him. “Don’t let me twist your arm.”

He grins, leaning closer to whisper in your ear. “I think I let you do a lot more to me than just that, Miss Blanchard.”

The flush that predictably spreads across your face makes him laugh, that warm, hearty chuckle that makes your knees weak. He bends down to touch your lips with his, smiling when you seek his mouth to deepen the kiss. Your hand fists around his shirt, the slightest hum of enjoyment from your throat drawing him further into your thrall, but the nudge of a passerby makes him pull away after a moment. His lips envy the disappointed pout that seizes yours as he closes your hand around his. Zeke lifts it to plant a more chaste kiss to your knuckles in apology.

“But before all that,” he says, “how about that festival date you promised me?”

Zeke gives you a questioning look, as though a part of him might actually doubt that you’ll say yes. Really it’s that he wonders if you’ll still gaze at him with those tender eyes this time tomorrow, but you can’t possibly know that.

You shrug, intertwining your fingers with his. “I’ll let you twist my arm.”

“You let me do a lot more—“

“Yeager...”

“Heh heh.” He withdraws his hand so he can wrap an arm around you instead as he guides you back to the heart of the festival. “I ran into the others while looking for you. The kids wouldn’t shut up about some good wrap nearby—and while their faces were full of pizza. What do you think?”

You lean against him, unable to help the warmth that you practically radiate as he holds you. He knows it too, pulling you closer. You shrug him off briefly to take a last glance around for Kenny, but he really is nowhere to be found.

Ducking back under Zeke’s arm, you smile. “Why not?”

Out of sight, trying to stave off the nausea, Levi watches the pair of you walk away from beside one of the many festival stands littering the avenue. How couldn’t he have realized who you are? Lucy is the name of the asset that sack of shit wants retrieved before the operation begins. He had wondered why, thought it some political ploy that would come into play later on. He didn’t expect the reason to be so... mundane.

He can’t believe he almost felt worried. He knew there had to be something strange about you, ignoring how he was clearly trying to get away. Had you been taunting him? A trap, just like this festival?

It hadn’t seemed like it. Your smile appeared to be genuine.

Not that it matters. He gets smiles all the time that he doesn’t care for; why should a beautiful woman’s remain with him or be any more noteworthy than another’s?

Dismissing the sight lingering in his mind’s eye, Levi turns for his true objective. He’s wasted enough time.

...And anyway, any person who would take up with that monster probably has some skeletons of her own.

Levi supposes he’ll find out later.

---

Thank you for reading! :)

The series I mentioned planning should be zeke x reader/oc, but because levi is very tempting, I'm also planning/considering a levi/reader AU (or ending??) of the ending post-rumbling (we'll see).

EDIT: This is a oneshot which can stand on its own, but if you're interested in a series I've posted the first two chapters of interim, the first of the Zeke-centered fics I mentioned I intended to write! It's a prequel that starts in Liberio after Zeke, Pieck, and Reiner come home post-S3. It'll go into Reader/Lucy's relationship with the Warriors, particularly Zeke, + how exactly they ended up where they are here in Asset. Levi makes a return appearance once we get to the sequel to Asset, going into the Raid on Liberio and onward.

EDIT 2: And if you'd like something completely Zeke-focused in the same year as Asset, here is a short fluff oneshot to accompany art I commissioned of Zeke and Lucy. It will have Lucy's appearance there (and I suppose her appearance is a spoilerish for the family name which you will discover in interim chapter 1), so if you don't want to see what she looks like then don't click it or just scroll down before the art loads. XD these trivial moments takes place some time before Asset, but still within the month that passes between the end of the Marley Mid-East War and the Raid on Liberio.

#zeke x reader #zeke x oc #zeke yeager x reader #zeke yeager x oc #zeke jaeger x reader #zeke jaeger x oc #levi x reader #levi x oc #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x oc #slight #eventually maybe #zeke yeager #levi ackerman #jean cameo because i love him #aot #snk #haliyam #asset

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mooniefics · 3 years

Text

in the grand scheme of things [ 2 ]

pairings : zeke jaeger / reader, referenced eren / reader

word count : 6.2k

tags : unhealthy relationships, relationship discussions, implied cheating, drinking, break ups, eventual smut, praise kink, mutual infidelity, dubious morality, love triangles

warnings : contains nsfw, rlly toxic behavior

summary : you and eren hadn't been doing the best these past few months, and no one that you knew seemed to have any answers for you, or pointers in the right direction. who better to offer you some sound, insightful relationship advice than his older brother. or so you thought.

— originally posted 1 / 25 / 21 on ao3 —

✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ: *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:*·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:*

you were already halfway back to campus before you noticed your phone was missing.

you'd completely forgotten about your desire to message sasha after you stepped out of the shower, taking a good, long look at your naked body in the steamed mirror. starting from your shoulder and ending around your sternum, your skin was scattered with deep marks that you were sure would be printed onto your skin for the rest of the week, maybe even some of the next, seeing as the worst of them were accompanied by the faint bordering of teeth. you wanted to be embarrassed, ashamed, anything that showed the slightest bit of maturity on your end, but you couldn't deny the feeling like you'd gotten a weight off your chest, like you'd reclaimed your emotional freedom by getting the chance to cry it out—and get it fucked out of you, too.

the only concern you held was whether eren would ever know. zeke didn't seem like the type to kiss and tell, he was laidback and easy-going enough to let you come in his home, drown away your sorrows in his alcohol, rightfully take your side despite your weak, albeit still there, insistence for him to take the middle ground and not feel angered on your behalf. plus, you didn't really know how to broach the topic of "can you please refrain from mentioning to your younger brother that you fucked me" without completely embarrassing yourself, but your dirty little secret felt safe with him.

you didn't know exactly how you'd make it up to him, you'd have to figure out some way that was feasible for a broke college student such as yourself. although, he was making it incredibly difficult to chart this incident off as a one and done sort of endeavor when you exited the bathroom just to find your clothes, cleaned and freshly dried, neatly folded on the bed, and the ibuprofen you'd requested with a glass of water waiting for you on the adjacent nightstand. zeke was being nice—a little too nice—but you couldn't help but feel your heart skip at his apparent concern. perhaps it was because you'd been emotionally neglected for a while, or maybe it was because zeke was an impossibly attractive older man who you wouldn't think would ever give you the time of day, or maybe a combination of both.

whatever it was, you allowed that stupid, giddy smile to stay on your lips as you tugged on your clothes, gulping down the two pills, mouth uncomfortably dry until you'd finished off the entire glass in one go. you chatted with him over your plate of eggs, noting that he'd changed out his sweatpants for a much smarter pair of dark trousers, white button up ironed and pristine, brown corduroy coat in one hand and mug of coffee in the other. you quickly finished up, noting the way he kept checking the expensive looking silver watch that fit perfectly over his wrist, accentuating the fine contour of his large hands.

you couldn't say that you were thrilled by the butterflies still fluttering about in your stomach, not at all made any better when he'd once again made an attentive offer to you. "it's kinda chilly out, the jacket you brought isn't really all that suited for the weather today.. wanna borrow one of mine?"

and so you left that morning wrapped up in a leather bomber jacket that was a size or two too big, having to stop yourself from breathing in the wonderful scent of his cologne still lingering on the collar as he walked you out of his apartment, so distracted that you hadn't even bothered to check if you had all your belongings in your purse until something reminded you of your desire to message your roommate.

you'd been driving past one of the shopping plazas you frequented when you had enough time—and money—to spare, catching sight of the many drive-thru restaurants open and quickly thinking of sasha. you owed her a bit of an apology for ditching out on her last night, especially after you'd assured her you would be back in time to watch the new episode of her favorite show when it premiered, but when you'd dug your hand into your purse to reach for your phone, you came up empty.

"fuck." you muttered to yourself, turning into one of her favorite restaurants anyways to get her something.

you didn't exactly have any phone numbers memorized aside from your mother's, you didn't really think anybody did these days, and it wasn't like you could go back and wait the entire day for him to get home. so you settled on roughing it until then, hoping that it'd just fallen out onto the floor of his apartment rather than in the parking lot of his complex where it could be stepped on, run over, stolen—any myriad of things that would assure your phone-less-ness for an irritatingly long time.

by the time you made it back to campus and up to your dorm, sasha was already awake enough to immediately pounce you at the site of the paper bag in your hand, nearly crying with gratitude as she unwrapped her double-patty burger, with extra cheese, as you'd remembered her emphasizing the first time you'd watched her place her order, and two large fries on the side.

"an' yuu ev'n rem'ber'd muh ord'r!!" she spoke around large bites, practically halfway done with it before she properly swallowed. you'd never met a girl who could eat like sasha could eat.

"it was the least i could do after completely ditching out last night." you said as you settled down on your bed with a sigh, shedding zeke's jacket.

"don't sweat it, i invited meeks over so i wasn't completely alone." she assured, then froze, glancing nervously at you like she expected you to be angry.

you weren't entirely thrilled with the fact that your roommate happened to become great friends with mikasa, but it wasn't your place to tell her to stop hanging out with her for the sake of some stupid rivalry over the boy. although, the situation had changed. she'd technically "won" at the end of the day, if she considered such foul play as a win, so you guessed that there really wasn't anymore reasons for tense silences and unnecessarily aggressive glares to be exchanged any longer.

"i'm glad you had fun last night," your smile seemed to ease sasha as she bit into a handful of fries, "even if i couldn't make it."

"so what happened? you went over to talk with one of eren's other friends right?"

you'd told sasha you'd been going over to see someone who knew eren, not exactly bringing in the detail that the said individual was his brother, but it was technically true. the blurry memory of last night flashed through your head, his lazy grins, full lips kissing and nipping over your skin, fingers and cock spreading you open so perfectly for him—

"i-it was nothing..! just got kind of carried away drinking, and he was nice enough to let me crash on the couch for the night."

oh, he let you do something on his couch alright. you hoped your face wasn't incriminating you as her gaze flickered down to the jacket.

"let you borrow his jacket too?" you nodded a bit too quickly, earning a crooked, teasing smile from the girl. "anyways.. what's the consensus? figure out anything new?"

that his best friend you hung out with last night and him cheated on me. "just talked about basic stuff, nothing's really set in stone yet, still mulling it over."

she nodded, already done with her burger and working through the first carton of fries. "did you have your phone on silent? i was worried you got kidnapped or something."

you chuckled through your nose, wandering over to your dresser as you began to unbutton your blouse, jerking to a pause when you remembered the very damning evidence of your own infidelity last night. "don't laugh, ok? i had my phone on silent, we ate dinner and drank, then i passed out, and i guess it fell out of my purse or something, because it wasn't in there when i went to text you if you wanted anything to eat."

"and you still got me something.. you're an angel." you rolled your eyes at sasha's wide, adoring gaze, laughing at the fact that the food took priority over your missing phone, "do you remember the guy's number..?" she wracked her brain for a moment before smacking around her mattress, tapping into her phone, "oh! i got it! he's one of eren's friends, right? if that's the case, mikasa'll have his number for sure."

you felt your back stiffen up, biting at the inside of your lip as you floundered for an excuse. "o-oh no, i wouldn't wanna bother her.. you know we're not on great terms, what happens if she asks why you need his number?" sasha's disgruntled frown encouraged you. "if she hears that you're only getting it for me, she probably won't give it to you."

"come on, she's not that bad." you shot her a look as you pulled a set of clean clothes out of your dresser drawers, opting to change in the closet, "alright fine... maybe she is that bad sometimes. but it's not like you killed her dog or something, and plus you're, like, her best friend's girlfriend-"

"for now." you interrupted, shutting the door and putting a barrier between you and your roommate's prying eyes, "and we barely even act like a couple anymore."

"for now." sasha repeated mockingly, mouth obviously full of fries, "but anyways, i'm sure she'll do this teeny favor for you—especially if i'm asking—so c'mon, give me a name!"

you tugged the long-sleeved sweatshirt over your head, checking yourself on the mirror hanging onto the back of the door to make sure you were entirely covered. "no, sasha. she already doesn't like me enough as it is, no need for us to interact and antagonize each other even more."

you walked out after pulling on your pair of athletic shorts, loose and comfortable around your slightly sore legs, laughing softly when she stuck her tongue out at you. "fine. be like that. keep secrets from your best friend in the whole wide world."

"ha-ha." you enunciated wryly, sitting back down onto your mattress and pulling your laptop from beneath your pillow. clicking through your itinerary for the coming weeks, you internally groaned. ironic how being a psych major could make you need a psychologist yourself.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

your password had been woefully easy to guess.

he'd tried the classic 1-2-3-4, almost thankful when the text at the top of the screen prompted him to enter a different combination, but a slight disappointment came when he tried your birthday and the phone opened without a problem. he'd at least expected to get locked out for a minute or two, but there he was, scrolling with free reign through your inordinate amount of apps at his seat.

he had plenty of time to laze around, seeing as the library didn't have many patrons at the moment, plus the elevated desk concealed the fact that he wasn't truly doing anything from the average passer-by. the sense of power he felt almost made him smile. these days, everybody had everything on their phones, and it made him wonder what secrets you could be hiding in this little device of yours. it was a few generations behind, not that he expected the latest and greatest from a college freshman, but still mostly intact with a obviously aged case, a few dents here, a scratch in the metal there, small cracks webbing from the corners of the screen protector, but all and all it functioned perfectly fine.

he was tempted to snoop further—maybe scroll through your contacts list to see if you had any mutuals he didn't know about, check to see if you actually cleared your browser history or just left out all your dirty laundry for anyone who tapped into your search engine to find—but he maintained some semblance of self-control, opening up your messages app and checking to see what his brother had said.

eren <3 10:53 am hey babe where are you right now

you missed a call from eren <3 (2)

eren <3 10:57 am i know we haven't gotten a chance to talk lately but please pick up

you missed a call from eren <3

eren <3 10:58 am youre making me nervous pick up

you missed a call from eren <3 (3)

zeke couldn't help but chuckle at his younger brother's emotional incompetence. your last message had been days ago, and from scrolling back in the texts he could see how you were attempting to initiate a majority of the conversation, and the sparse replies here and there from eren were nothing short of pathetically uninterested.

zeke pitied you—the desperate, doting, undeniably adorable college girl who wanted nothing more than to make eren happy—his brother didn't deserve such devotion. even if he wasn't truly sure if eren had really cheated on you, what he was sure about was the fact that this relationship was entirely weighed against your favor.

eren <3 11:03 am fuck i know i fucked up but i didntnfucking deserve that please tell me that wasnt you fuck please fuckign pick up i love you

you missed a call from eren <3 (4)

eren <3 11:08 am did you seriously fucking shut your phone off what the fcuk

eren <3 11:10 am you know what me and armin are coming back next week we'll talk then.

that's right, he'd gone out of the country with that scrawny little blonde kid that always flinched when zeke intruded on eren's hangouts, probably on his dad's dime too. zeke scoffed to himself, shaking his head as he tapped through your text conversation, quickly finding the "delete messages?" prompt and selecting all evidence of eren's one-sided correspondence, tapping the bright red "delete all" button at the bottom of the screen, and finally blocking his number just for good measure. all your old chats were still there, and he was sure that you'd gotten used to eren not messaging anyways, meaning he wouldn't have to worry about him reaching out to you for the time being.

slipping your phone back into his pocket with a sigh, he could feel that warm, smug feeling bubbling up in his chest. he knew he was only postponing the inevitable, that you'd find out the whole, horrible truth eventually, but it was almost fun to dance around the consequences like he was doing so right now. you were fun to play with, unassuming and prim one moment and brazenly shameless the next. there were layers to you, hidden bits that he was sure that he could coax you into revealing to him, slowly but surely bare your raw, unconcealed essence.

his thoughts were interrupted by someone at the counter, a girl who looked about your age with a shirt that was far too low for the way she was leaning toward him, pushing forward her library card with a single dainty finger and setting down a small stack of books. and somehow, he was thinking about you again as he flashed a charming smile that had convinced many other women before into getting a library card of their own.

that was the difference between you and everyone else, you didn't throw yourself at him, you didn't so blatantly vie for his attention, but instead silently appealed for it with your shy glances, small shifts in your posture when he drew near, and all those pretty little sounds that he could earn with a few gentle touches in just the right place. he could feel himself stirring in his pants just thinking about last night, glad that he'd made such a good first impression on you as he swiped the girl's card and scanned her books under the sensor next to the computer.

"all set for the next two weeks." he offered a small grin, passing back her things.

"thank you," she paused, making a show of dragging her eyes down from his face to the name tag pinned over his bicep, "zeke. i'll see you then."

she bit her lip as she stepped away from the counter, sauntering away towards the door with an obvious excitement. easier girls always held a place in zeke's heart, but there was nothing like the thrill of the chase that he found in you.

he heard the quiet swoosh of the automatic doors sliding open, glancing over absentmindedly to check out the newest patron. but he felt himself perk up in his seat at the sight of you, large canvas book bag hanging off your shoulder and, much to zeke's delight, still wearing his jacket. it took you a moment to notice him, but the change in your features enthralled him nonetheless, going from bored and almost tired-looking to surprised, then flustered as you froze, wide eyes trained on him. he chuckled to himself, nodding his head at you, almost beckoning you to come, and the self-satisfied smirk that drew across his lips was impossible to contain when you actually began your quick advance up to the counter.

"z-zeke, hi. i didn't know you worked here.."

"and i didn't know you came here." he rolled his chair closer, "i thought i would've seen you around by now."

"i usually go to the library on campus, but," the way you peered around, almost looking nervous to gaze directly at him, was strangely endearing to zeke, "i was just kinda looking for a change of scenery."

"fair enough." he said, remembering the weight of your phone in his pocket, "oh yeah, i'm glad you're here. my roommate called me earlier, said he found your phone on the floor back at the apartment."

you leaned forward at the mention of your phone—the complete lie he'd come up with just now—lips parted in surprise. it looked a lot like the expression he'd envisioned when he had his arms around you last night, pressing teasing kisses over your warm skin, but zeke held off on that thought for the moment.

"ah, i almost forgot about that..! well i'm glad it was that rather than it getting stolen or something.."

he checked his watch, very cognizant of your expectant gaze falling onto him the second he took his eyes off you. "i get off for lunch in about half an hour, if it's not too much trouble we can swing by my place, then i can bring you back here, maybe get you some lunch?"

you flushed brilliantly at that, barely containing your almost giddy smile as you nodded. "yeah thanks, that'd be really great actually! but you don't have to worry about getting me lunch.. i already owe you for dinner last night."

just dinner?, he thought, internally smirking, but he kept it to himself. "don't worry your pretty little head about it," your flustered reactions were addictive, "just go have a seat over in the working area and i'll come find you after i clock out."

you nodded, offering another small "thank you" before you obediently turned to traverse the scattered expanse of tables on the library floor and find yourself a spot to sit. the next thirty minutes felt unnecessarily long for zeke. he'd answered a few phone calls, worked through recording the stack of books he'd recovered from the "returned" box when he clocked in for his shift, but ended up giving into the temptation of shelving them himself instead of handing them off to the page to sneak a glance at you.

you'd settled at a long table nestled between the large shelves, entirely alone aside from another college student that zeke recognized from the frequency of his visits, but the modest amount of seats separating you let him know that you were strangers. you didn't seem to notice him when he drifted by, headphones in, entirely focused on your open laptop in front of you, jacket now zipped up halfway. he'd forgotten how cold the library was, mostly used to it after having worked there for nearly a year, not lingering in the aisle for too long before he finished up putting away the last of the books remaining in his arms and returning to the front.

"willy, i'm clocking out for lunch, can you watch the desk?" he called out when he caught the man emerging from the back.

"yeah, yeah, i've got you. but actually come back on time, alright?" he said, tying up his long blonde hair into a messy ponytail, "magath got on my ass last time i covered for you when you were late."

"can i make it up to you with some coffee?" zeke offered, grinning when his coworker grunted affirmatively, "text me your order, i'll get it to you on my way back."

and with that, he logged out of his account on the work desktop and left the chair for willy to sit in, wandering back out onto the floor to circle back around to where you were sitting.

he alerted you of his presence with a hand on your shoulder, smiling down at you. "ready to go?"

you nodded, quickly packing your things away into your bag and following him out of the library doors to his car. he opened the passenger door for you just to see that cute smile that always seem to draw across your lips when he did something you liked, slipping into the drivers' seat and syncing his phone to the car before he pulled out of the parking lot.

"the smiths, huh?" you mused from beside him as "heaven knows i'm miserable now" played across the radio's screen.

"you still listen to them?" he asked, remembering when he'd seen you in his parents' kitchen in their merchandise.

"sometimes." you replied, fiddling with the hem of your skirt.

"a little cold to be wearing a skirt, don't you think?"

"what? it's cute, isn't it?" you protested, prompting him to reach over the console with one hand to give the exposed skin of your thigh a few affectionate pats as he laughed softly.

"it is cute."

you fell quiet after that, obviously pleased with his attention but clamming up with that endearing introversion once again. he was content with watching you nod along to his playlist, smiling to yourself when something you recognized came up in the queue. the ride to his complex was short, and the walk up the staircase was silent, but he could feel your eyes lingering over him as you followed behind him, just as they had flickered over to glance at him when you thought he was focused on the road ahead. something about those tiny looks, shy smiles, the face of someone sheepish yet eager to please, it set zeke on fire.

he knew that he shouldn't be bringing you back to the apartment again, but he also knew that he had just about an hour to kill, and reiner was occupied with his own job and away once again, and you really did look great in that skirt and his jacket—

"give me a sec, i'm pretty sure my roommate put it in his room," zeke said, nodding over to the short hall across from the kitchen, knowing he couldn't just pull your phone out of your pocket right here and give it to you, "feel free to check the fridge if you're thirsty or something."

you gave an affirmative hum, wandering toward the kitchen as he turned to enter reiner's room. he was sure that his friend would throw a fit if he figured out he was in his room without his permission, seeing as he was such a stickler for personal privacy, but he wouldn't have to know, zeke was good a keeping secrets. or at least that's what he liked to tell himself, that he was good at lying and sneaking around and pretending like he wasn't bothered by things that made his blood boil, eren being a prime example of such a thing. nineteen years, and somehow in all that time he'd never matured past the age of twelve.

zeke rolled his eyes at the thought, pulling your phone out and wiping away his finger prints on the front of his shirt. the notifications from your assumed roommate were still on the lock screen, joined by a few more miscellaneous ones from earlier in the day, looking entirely untouched for the hours that it had been out of your possession. that lack of accountability he held for essentially stealing your phone eased him a bit as he ventured back out into the main space.

but he couldn't help the burning desire he felt for you when he saw you seated on the island in the kitchen, open water bottle in your hand, peering at him excitedly in expectance of your phone, jacket now hanging off of you from the warmth of the apartment. you didn't shy away like he thought you might as he approached, simply screwing the cap back on the bottle and straightened up your posture, hand outstretched with a smile on your face.

"here you are." he said, sliding your phone into your hand, legs nearly bumping yours from how close he was.

"thank you." you murmured in reply, turning it on for a quick check of your notifications just for your eyes to gravitate right back over to him.

there was something intoxicating about the way you gazed at him, with a meek yet faintly awe-struck look that always seemed to stroke his ego in just the right place. he usually liked confident women, who were well-aware of their beauty and prowess, but there was something about the way you hid yourself away, only showing what you felt necessary but still caving when he peeled away the layers concealing yourself one by one. you weren't desperate initially, not exactly standoffish either, just the perfect balance of reserved and alluring to draw him along after you. especially how you didn't seem to shy away from a challenge such as himself, despite how easy you were to fluster.

he checked his watch before he spoke, his voice low and full of intention. "we've still got about forty minutes before i have to get back." you licked your lips, eyebrows cinching upward just the slightest bit, head unconsciously tilting upwards towards his. though the height of the counter closed an inch or two of distance between the two of you, he still stood taller than you, pressing forward the smallest bit, able to feel your soft breaths fanning over his cheek. "so, what do you say..?"

you didn't speak, only giving a small nod, and that was all it took for zeke to close the space that was barely there between you, lips melding easily over your own. you let out a small sound of surprise, sending a jolt of heat straight through him, determined to make it happen again. your hands grasped at the front of his shirt, clenching at the fabric when his own rose to grip your thighs, spreading them to accommodate his presence and urge himself even closer to you. the feeling of your bare skin, pliant flesh that his fingers sunk so easily into, the knowledge that the only thing keeping him from you was your underwear under your skirt, was enough to make him even more impatient than he already was.

"didn't get enough last night, huh?" he breathed into your ear after he'd pulled away, grinning at the sight of your shaking head and your whispered "n-no".

he maintained enough control to not mark the skin exposed by your shirt when he reached it, but still nipped with enough pressure to pull more little moans that made his cock ache in the constraints of his pants. you didn't protest when the hands on your thighs slid further inward, gasping softly when he let a finger slowly stroke over your clothed cunt.

"and i've barely even touched you.. naughty girl." the way you bristled at his shameless words was endlessly enthralling to him, "already so needy for me..."

you squirmed as he palmed you through your underwear, attempting to speak, but your words always stammered off into an incoherent whimper, hips already rutting up as subtly as they could manage into his hand. "p-please, zeke. i w-want.."

"what do you want?" he pulled away from your neck, hazy, low-lidded eyes gazing directly into your own, "want my fingers in that little pussy of yours?"

you flushed brilliantly at his crassness, but nodded all the same, following up with a whimpered "yes, please..!"

you were begging with your mouth and eyes and he'd only just started, the fact that you were so eager from just the slightest touches made him impossibly hard. he lowered himself to his knees as quickly as he could, letting your heels rest on his shoulders to push yourself up off the counter long enough for him to peel your underwear off of you, sucking air between your teeth when you lowered your bare skin back down onto the cool granite.

he loved how compliant you were, how you let him adjust your position as he pleased, balancing yourself on one hand after he'd settled you on the edge of the island. he made sure to admire the way your face shifted when he ran a finger across your slick skin, thumb drawing across your clit to tease you for just a moment before he slid one finger into you.

"fuck.." he muttered to himself, admiring how you just barely arched toward him when he curled it inside you, retracting his hand and pushing in with a second finger.

he was sure that he could watch you all day, spread out on the kitchen counter, bottom lip reddening from being bitten so firmly between your teeth, eyes glassy and completely fogged over with lust. but he knew that he only had this single hour, regretting offering willy his promise of apology coffee, but deciding to take care of what he'd started and still having time to spare.

plucking his glasses from his nose, he set them on the counter beside your phone, pressing a lingering kiss over one of the thighs beside his head as a silent way to let you know his intentions, pleased to see nothing but anticipation etched across your flushed features as he proceeded. his first lick was intentionally slow, savoring the full body tremble you gave and the flavor of you on his tongue, grasp on your flank fastening to hold you apart while he continued.

he groaned at the hand that shakily clenched in his hair, the one clasped over your mouth doing little to contain the whines and baseless pleas spilling from your lips. zeke was certain his neighbors hated him by now, but he could honestly care less about such a menial detail like that when it was you moaning loud enough to be heard all the way down the hall, solely because of him. and a part of him had to wonder if eren had ever been able to satisfy you the way he had last night—the way he was now—if he'd ever gotten to fully explore and appreciate all the little things you had to offer. his younger brother was juvenile at best in his eyes, and, as far as he knew, entirely inexperienced until he began dating you. but zeke didn't mind showing up the kid, especially not when you deserved to feel as good as he made you feel. after all, he still had just about a week until ramifications were entirely inescapable, he could keep having fun with you for those couple days at the very least.

he pushed the more complicated thoughts from the forefront of his mind, choosing instead to focus on you in front of him, eyes low-lidded and unfocused, now biting onto one of your knuckles, hips rolling into his mouth and fingers in an obvious chase for your release. he rolled his tongue across your clit in quick, ruthless strokes, grinning against you when you whined, eyes rolling back into your head as it felt back toward the ceiling, your hold in his hair almost painfully tight. he could feel the tell-tale stiffen of your muscles, curling his fingers to rub at that part that seemed to drive you wild, catching the stammered end of his name on your lips as you came.

even from his place on the ground, he could see how your chest heaved, legs still quivering, wearing an almost dazed expression until you'd blinked away the fogginess in your eyes. your sheepishness returned when you watched him lick his lips, still slick with your arousal, whimpering softly at the departure of his fingers. he adjusted himself in his pants before stepped away, allowing you to recollect yourself while he proceeded over to the kitchen sink, washing his hands and patting away the remaining stickiness from his chin with the paper towel he used to dry them, watching with a close-lipped grin as you slowly lowered yourself back onto the ground and pulled up your underwear.

he checked his watch after he'd situated his glasses onto his face, frowning. only the better part of twenty minutes left in his break. "ready to get going?" he asked, running a hand through his hair to smooth it back down, his casual tone seeming to ease you.

"mhm." you replied, straightening out your clothes and beginning to shrug his jacket back onto your shoulders before you glanced over at him, "do you want this back? i didn't mean to steal it from you.."

"keep it." he said, plucking his keys from his pocket and proceeding towards the door, "it looks good on you." he didn't even have to look back at you to know that you were smiling.

the car ride was once again mostly silent, seeing as you were tapping through your phone and looking at everything you'd missed in the time you were away from it. but when he'd pulled into the starbuck drive-thru to get willy his unnecessary complicated order and turned to ask if you wanted anything, he caught you looking at your text conversation with eren before you shut your phone off and asked for a chai latte and a butter croissant, and he felt an odd twinge in his chest as he delivered your request and his own of an unsweetened cold brew to the speaker beside his rolled down window.

was it irritation? jealousy? possessiveness? for the first time in a while, he was unsure of how he felt. it was a bit unnerving, but also fascinating all at once. he could've never expected this sort of outcome from the situation, but it wasn't entirely unwelcoming. now that he thought about it, his life had been a bit dull lately, a cyclical routine of attending his job, going out for drinks on tuesday, the occasional sexual conquest here and there with women he met but never remembered, but your call had been a break in the routine, an expected opportunity that he was determined to not let slip through his fingers. and while he would've probably just been satisfied with allowing your name to join all the others in the blurry recesses of his memory at first, he knew now that there was much more for him to discover.

so he let you finish up the lunch he'd gotten you, turning up the radio and escorting you back to the library, feeling far too satisfied with himself as he watched you disappear between the shelves, proceeding back behind the desk and setting willy's coffee down beside him. "don't get up yet, i have to piss."

he groaned frustratedly at that. "why didn't you fucking do that on your break, you ass."

"i got your coffee in the drive-thru." zeke replied absentmindedly, already stalking off to the staff bathroom in the back with the thought of you on the counter playing over and over in his head.

only after locking the door and settling on the toilet did he finally let out a heavy sigh, tapping into his camera roll and quickly finding his picture of you from this morning. just the sight of your half-exposed body made his pants feel tight once again, and he regretted not taking more photos when he had the chance, but this would be enough for now, especially with the memory of you begging for him not even an hour ago fresh on his mind.

he didn't feel any sort of shame as he unzipped his pants and pulled himself out of his boxers, the tip of his cock already slick with pre, ready for the release he'd denied himself for the sake of time—and your satisfaction, of course—the release he'd be granting himself right now, with you just a couple meters away, entirely unaware that it was all because of you.

✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ: *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:*·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:*

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#zeke yeager #zeke jaeger #zeke yeager x reader #zeke yeager x you #zeke jaeger x reader #snk zeke #zeke jaeger smut #zeke yeager smut #snk x reader #snk x you #aot x reader #aot x you #aot x reader smut #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyojin fanfiction #m.nsfw

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bluebellhairpin · 3 years

Text

Be My Valentine?

Attack on Titan X Reader

A/N: Look at y’all, giving me a sweet tooth. A few days too early too. I wrote this like a week ago. - Nemo

Warnings: A little suggestive. Much Fluff. Modern AU.

Listening to: ‘That’s What I Like’ by Bruno Mars (slowed) - ‘You deserve it baby, you deserve it all.’

Masterlist

Armin Arlert

He is so organized, and no I’m not meaning he remembers to buy chocolates, flowers or a stuffed bear - no no no, to Armin that is not acceptable.

To Armin those are things he does every day.

So you can bet your lovable ass that you have a much better Valentines Day than anyone else you know.

He even manages to top it every year.

Once, he rented a penthouse for the night just because - tbh he probably said something dumb like ‘you deserve this and more’. (okay not that dumb, I’m just upset because no one will ever do that for me.)

He had to save up for like, two years to do it though.

Baby boy just wants to show his appreciation.

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Erwin Smith

He’s less organized than Armin, but he does have more money, and he is 100 per cent not afraid to ask for help.

But like he’s an old fashioned guy.

Dinner, red roses, mayhaps a night in afterwards *wink wink*

But deadass this guy just makes it seem so special every time? Like you did it last year and you know you’ll do it again? But it’s so exciting anyway?

Def feeds you the choccy strawberries. Or chicky nuggies. Whichever. He don’t care as long as his beloved is happy.

Probably has a new item of jewelry bought a week in advance. Even if you don’t usually wear it, just do it for that night and he’ll be satisfied.

He like’s buying you stuff, and he likes seeing you with/wearing the stuff he buys.

Dunno why, some shady possessive stuff probably, but who are we to complain?

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Levi Ackerman

Smh.

Man’s does not care.

At all.

‘Valentines? Who is that?’

But seriously, the only reason he doesn’t care is because he think’s ‘it’s dumb that we only have one day in the whole year to show our love for that one person when it should happen all the time.’

If he see’s a particularly nice bouquet or a brand of sweets you like that’s around during this time of year - however - he will get it for you.

Because he knows you like whatever it was.

And if you do like Valentines day, he will do something for you on that day.

He doesn’t think his opinions should always be yours and vice versa.

But don’t catch him browsing the valentines themed isle in the grocery store otherwise you’ll get beat.

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Reiner Braun

nEVER forgets. Ever.

There are three dates set into his brain and he forgets everything else.

1. Your B-day. 2. Your Anniversary. And 3. Valentines Day.

Bed’s covered in the petals of your favorite flowers. There’s matching bouquet’s in every room.

Music’s playin’ as soon as you walk in, he’s standing there in that outfit he knows you like. Favorite dinner and drinks all set out. JUst walking home to that is *chefs kiss* ahhhhhh

But make sure you get something for him.

The way he melts that you got him something? Even if it’s little, he will grab you and not let you go for like half and hour.

Please return the favor. Hold him this night. Do not let go. Hold him tighter and tighter and he will not stop saying how much he loves you.

Even as he starts to fall asleep he will keep telling you.

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Zeke Jaeger

Probably takes you on an overnight trip somewhere way too expensive and acts like it’s nothing.

‘Zeke, this is a private jet.’ - ‘And?’ - ‘It’s going to Paris Zeke.’ - ‘Yeah? That’s like the whole point?’

Mans sees no problem spending a minor fortune on one night’s worth of activates and items.

Goes all-out and is not afraid to do so.

Will have you dress-up all nice and take you out on his arm to go to dinner. He’s trying to show you off. Like ‘look at this beauty I scored. You wish you were me.’ and I think that’s very in-character of him.

Like legitimately the most fancy thing you ever wanted to - he’ll have it.

Ball gown? Slim shimmery red-carpet dress? A suit that matches his that you pull off so much better than him?

Shows his love through gift-giving, so just let him do what he gotta do.

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Jean Kirstein

He’s another classic roses, chocolates, and teddy bears guy.

There’ll be a few times where the date creeps up and catches him off-guard, but he’ll always go out of his way to make sure he doesn’t see you empty-handed.

Yes, that has once meant he rocked up to your door with a handful of flowers that were definitely from your neighbors front yard.

You do also have one section of your bookshelf designated to stuffed animals he’s gotten you for valentines day. Yeah, not just bears. There’s a llama, lizard, and a bigfoot also.

More like ‘at least’.

ALWAYS WRITES A NOTE OR CARD - depending on how much time is left - AND IT’S NOT JUST REALLY CUTE AND ROMANTIC BUt he draws a little mini him and you in the corner holding hands.

Jean write me a valentines note plz, I’m so lonely and I love you.

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Connie Springer

Dumbass never remembers.

And if you don’t remember either then oh well. Guess a midnight Macca’s run is in order.

Yeah, he CAN make McDonalds romantic. Don’t think so? Fite me.

But then he feels bad, so he ducks into the closest open store and buYS YOU A RING POP -

‘Sweetie, I got you something?’ - ‘Yeah, what?’ - ‘A new cushion because dat ass keeps ruining all mine.’ ‘A ring, I hope you like it uwu.’

OFC YOU LIKE IT HOW CAN YOU NOT?

tbh if you rock up three days later - candy eaten - but still wearing the ring part he’ll start bawling.

He ends up getting you a real ring a little later - a muther fooken PROMICE RING. OF aLL thingS. So yeah, He does top every single other person on this list. Don’t @ me.

You still keep that ring pop tho. Cherish it forever.

#armin arlert headcanons #erwin smith headcanons #levi ackerman headcanons #reiner braun headcanons #zeke jaeger headcanons #jean kirstein headcanons #connie springer headcanons

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cottoncandyjester · 3 years

Text

So have some ridiculously fluffy sweet Zeke stuff with sprinkles of angst

Fun fact: Zeke’s parents are homophobic sooo they would definitely not show if Zeke married a man

“They aren’t here, the one day I need them and they aren’t here” Zeke hissed out with a stressed sigh, three years of wedding planning and preparation and he his parents didn’t even bother to show all cause he was marrying a man.

“Chill papi, me and teo are here” Tiago cooed out which didn’t help Zeke at all who stopped his frantic pacing and sat down his hands shaking as he nervously messed with his hair.

“W-what if they get cold feet? Family is everything to me! This is a sign right? That I rushed into this yeah? I mean we’ve been together for six years b-but what if this ends up like prince” Zeke paused realizing how traumatizing that would be and let put a panicked choked sob

“oh god Tiago I-I can’t do that again! I can’t sit and call everyone I know and apologize for wasting their time! I can’t let another suit waste away in the closet reminding me that I will never be a husband, Tiago W-what if- what if I’m just cursed to never be happily married?”

As Zeke ranted Tiago calmly prepared tissues letting the male let out all that stress before simply getting up and pulling him into a hug. “Ezekiel, calm down. Y/n isn’t like prince at all you know this don’t you? They are sweet and caring and actually care about what you say..plus me and mateo are here Hmm? You’re just scared, but there’s nothing to be scared about” Tiago cooed out now wiping Zeke’s tears softly with a sigh.

“You’re right, like always. Ughh now y/n is out there thinking I’m the one with cold feet. Great. Real fucking great.” Zeke mumbled out now resting his head on tiago’s shoulder with a groan “why am I an idiot?” Zeke whispers out and Tiago gave a low hum “all those expensive hair products must be damaging your brain” he mumbled out making Zeke laughed as he shoved him.

“Oi! That’s offensive!” Zeke hissed out before letting out a long sigh getting up and glancing at his brother “we should go yeah? Before I freaking puke all over this corset vest. Everyone is waiting to see me and y/n walk down the aisle together” he mumbled out. With that the two FINALLY made it down, meeting up with you who looked just as freaked out.

“God you don’t know how bad I wanna kiss you” Zeke groaned out as he held your hand tightly. “Bad luck to kiss before it’s time” Tiago mumbled out now giving you a firm pat on the back “he’s definitely gonna sobbing..be prepared, brother in law” he whispers in your ear with a grin before going to join the others.

“Ready to get married to me? Can’t back out now” Zeke mumbled out softly as he glanced your way before glancing forward as the big white doors infront of you two. “Think I was born ready” you cooed out before kissing his hand “let’s do this yeah?” You whispers and Zeke sucked in a sharp breath as the doors opened and you two walked down.

Zeke pretty much kept from crying the entire time, he was shaking and nervously laughing so much you swore he would have a heart attack, and then he hit you with the sweetest vows ever.

“Y/n, I don’t think I can fully describe how much I love you. I didn’t think it was possible to love someone as much as I love you. I-I didn’t think I could be rewarded with such an amazing guy, you’re my everything. You’re the reason why I even wake up, the reason I want to be a better person. I never knew someone’s voice can sound better than any instrument or any song..fuck- here I I go crying again” Zeke let out a shaky laugh looking down sniffling before looking up at you green eyes glimmering with love.

“Let’s make a sweet and beautiful song together, yeah? A song that is filled with a lifetime of happiness” Zeke cheers out and at this point both of you were crying messes. “You may now kiss the groom” that’s all Zeke needed to hear before he pulled you close pressing his lips against yours planting a bunch of small kisses over and over with a grin.

“Now you are stuck with me” he mumbled against your lips as he pulled back and glanced at the crowd a painful feeling hitting when he saw his parents were there but he jolted feeing you squeeze his hand reminding him that he didn’t really need them there.

After a beautiful ceremony came a fun celebration. “Married Hmm? Does this mean y/n can join us on family boys trips?” Mateo asked as he ordered a beer only for Tiago to take it and casually replace it with apple cider. “I dunno if y/n can handle such cool and adventurous bro moments” Zeke teased now grinning at you making you scoff.

“I totally can!” You huffed out making Zeke hum as he pulled you into his lap “oh yeah?” He purred out now kissing you softly “I’m not sure I wanna bring you along, sharing you with my brothers seems like a bad idea” he mumbled out lovingly making mateo hiss “get a room you two! It’s time to party! Woot woo!” Mateo chirped as he hopped up.

“Mateo this isn’t a college frat party, try to behave” Tiago scolded out and Mateo scoffs simply pulling Tiago to the dance floor. Zeke watched the two and found himself staring at his wedding ring “so, regret marrying me yet?” He whispers out as he held you close with a grin.

“Mmm, nope. Ask me again in fifty years” you teased out as Zeke playfully kisses your neck with a devilish grin “you were crying during the ceremony...my cute baby” he purred as he swayed side to side in the seat making you roll your eyes “says you! You couldn’t stop sobbing! Half our wedding pictures will have you sobbing in them” you retorted back making Zeke glance away shyly “I’m an emotional man y/n, emotional men cry. Plus how could I not cry when you look good enough to eat..speaking of eat..” he whispers in your ear slyly only to pick you up and plop you down in the seat next to him

“I’m grabbing food! If I don’t pig out at my own wedding is it really a wedding?” He asked out and leaned in kissing your cheek “I love you y/n, more than anything. Which is why I’m gonna eat all the expensive food we paid for” he whispers out softly with a grin. “Ezekiel save some for me!” You snapped and he chuckles “nope!”

As you two joked and laughed Zeke didn’t seem to notice a very annoyed prince watching you two, eyes locked into a longing gaze at Zeke who held your hand and looked at you as if you were the best thing in the entire world

#yandere imagines #yandere ocs #yandere #zeke

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unordinaryquotes · 4 years

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UnOrdinary Chapter 201 Review

- Blyke is me right now. Like, why does the Safe House matter so much to him. Just let people hang out you dumb fuck.

- The right side of this picture has zero communicative brain cells. Arlo hasn’t had a genuine interaction with someone since he was in the womb and Holden’s just a dumbass.

- Its been so long since I’ve seen these two. I love seeing them together cause they just fit perfectly.

- Zeke, I’ve already told you this a million times. These guys do not give a fuck about John and stopped be scared of him a while ago.

- I admire the way Remi can confidently talk to anyone, good or bad. She really does see the good in all people but as the chapter later shows, she’s not afraid of using force to shut shit down.

- Are we in China? This is some Ba Sing Se shit. How can anyone see this and go “Yeah, that’s a perfectly normal and good way to control something”

- Hell yeah! Arlo letting Remi take charge and fight for what she wants. He’s fully confident in Remi’s ability to handle the situation, something I doubt he would be for others.

- Man I loved that movie- oh shit wait this is a Webtoon. Why the hell does Remi look so good in this panel like 👀

- I’ve seen people (y’all know who) say that Remi’s no better than others for using force to remove Zeke but these two lines perfectly prove she’s not a hypocrite. She didn’t send Zeke away when he walked in, she gave him a warning to leave when he started threatening the students, and finally she used the perfect amount of force to stop Zeke. People must use a mix of talking and force. Zeke wasn’t gonna stop harassing the students so Remi took it into her hands to shut that bitch down.

- God I love these guys. They’re really becoming leaders (FUCK IM AGREEING WITH VAUGHN)

Remi stay proving why she’s best girl, Zeke getting his ass kicked for the eight time, and Sera just vibin in that beanbag chair.

#unordinary #unordinary john #unordinary arlo #unordinary seraphina #unordinary remi #unordinary blyke #unordinary zeke

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ayatosmlktea · 4 years

Note

Can I request a royal au where Levi's s/o gets poisoned and its really bad with her coughing up blood and stuff and Levi's deathly afraid. But she does get better with time and then Levi starts to hunt down the culprits who did this to his queen. King Levi's wrath unleashed ya know

𝑷𝒐𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒅 ❤️

Their long day was finally over, it had been nothing but meetings with ambassadors from neighbouring kingdoms wanting to make alliances. Honestly, Levi would have rather counted grains of sand than put up with the idiotic conditions they wanted him to comply with. Y/N had been with him during the meetings, valuing his queens opinion more than his own advisors much to their dismay, but they had barely had a chance to be alone. His stomach growled, not having eaten since early that morning their meetings had taken up the whole day and he was starving.

Y/N sits next to him, her smile softening the look of exhaustion in his eyes. Her fingers idly stroke the back of his hand as they wait for their meals to be placed in front of them. Dinner was exquisite as usual, Levi was about to dismiss his servants for the evening wanting some time alone with Y/N when her sudden coughing made him pause. One hand splayed across her stomach while the other covered her mouth, her eyes were watering as her coughs became more violent. Panic coursed through his body as he watched her double over the side of her chair blood pouring out of her mouth. Her agonized screaming cut off by more blood being expelled ringing in his ears.

“What the hell is going on?” He bellows rushing to her side, holding her hair back while his eyes are furiously glaring at his servants who look equally horrified. Y/N begins to shiver her forehead quickly becoming drenched with sweat. Gently picking her up into his he hurries to the bedroom shouting for someone to call Hange. Her low groans of pain stab at his heart, her face becoming sickly pale. His mind was consumed with rage, someone had dared poison his queen in his own home no less. Levi ruled out the possibility of it being his own servants, having hand-picked them all himself he knew they were devoted to their king and Queen. It was no coincidence that Y/N had been poisoned just when they had foreign guests visiting.

Laying her on the bed he fetches a damp wash cloth from their bathroom to wipe away the sweat that was dripping down her face. Her eyes were shut tightly, face contorted with pain.

“Levi it hurts” she croaks out, turning to lie on her side clutching her stomach. She started coughing again, more blood splattering against her paling lips. He feels utterly helpless, unable to do anything but wipe the blood away from her mouth and rub her back until the doctor can treat her. After what seems like ages Hange bursts into the room with her assistant trailing behind her, arms full of supplies.

“Took you long enough” he scowls but is secretly grateful that help has finally arrived. Hange examines Y/N’s condition, taking notes of her symptoms and asking about the events leading up to her being poisoned.

“There isn’t much I can do for now until I know exactly what kind of poison they used but I can give her something to stop the bleeding. It isn’t going to cure her but it will slow down the effects of the poison.” Taking a sample of Y/N’s blood Hange coaxes her mouth open before slipping a clear substance down her throat.

“What do you mean by slow down?” Levi asks, dread settling in the pit of his stomach.

“Whoever poisoned Y/N did so with the intention of killing her. The solution I just gave her will act as an inhibitor for now but eventually it will wear off.” Levi’s heart started racing, his eyes glance towards Y/N’s silent form. Her eyes weren’t scrunched together in pain anymore but her breathing was still coming out in short gasps.

“How long?”

“48 hours, three days at most. By then I should have the antidote ready.”

“Then I suggest you get to work” Hange nods, her expression solemn as she glances one last time at Y/N’s sleeping form before gathering her samples and leaving them alone. Levi’s hand cups her cheek grateful that she isn’t awake to see the way his fingers are trembling against her skin.

Levi didn’t want to leave her but he wanted-no needed to personally find the scum who had dared to put his queen in harms way. After much reassurance from Y/N’s personal hand maid, Levi set off with his knights to snuff out the filth in his kingdom. It had to be one of the parties that had arrived the day before, the timing was too suspicious to ignore. If someone from his own kingdom wanted to poison her they would’ve tried it already.

He’d already had Mikasa and Jean search the ambassador’s rooms earlier that day. They’d both come up empty handed much to Levi’s frustration. It had already been a full day since the incident and Y/N hadn’t woken up since being given Hange’s temporary solution. He had thought for sure it would’ve one of the two who had made the biggest complaints at having Y/N attend their meetings. He’d dropped by Hange’s lab earlier, her face dark with concentration muttering to herself. She was still working on deciphering the poison used, it wasn’t one she was familiar with meaning that whoever had access to it either, had come from far away or had connections with the black markets.

The image of Y/N violently coughing up blood was permanently burned into his brain, he wouldn’t accept the possibility of her dying. Hange would find a cure, there was no other way. He couldn’t imagine living his life without Y/N at his side. She was his everything, hell he would even argue that she ran the kingdom better than he did. He feels helpless picturing her face contorted with pain, desperately begging him to make it go away. Shaking his head he tries to collect himself, he needed to focus on finding whoever had done this. The muffled sound of voices coming from the throne room grabs his attention. Unless either Levi or Y/N were present no one was allowed to be in there.

“Yes I did everything like you said, the queen should be dead by tonight” peeking through the crack of the door he finds Zeke standing with his back to Levi, another figure hidden behind him. Levi’s jaw clenches, his hunch had been right. Zeke had protested the most to having Y/N in the throne room, claiming that in his country women weren’t allowed to take part in “men’s affairs”. Needless to say Levi didn’t like him.

“Well I guess you’ve finally proved your worth Floch. Once that useless tramp is out of the way we’ll be able to begin seizing his kingdom slowly.”

“You must be absolutely fucking stupid to think this was the best place to gloat in your victory” Levi snaps. Shouting for his guards he stands in the way of their only exit. Floch’s face drains of colour while Zeke merely looks annoyed.

“Yes your majesty?”

“Take these two shit bags to the dungeon. I’ll be down shortly”

“You might think that you’ve won this time but I have people everywhere. Even in your own kingdom. Your queen is never going to be safe” Zeke’s cocky smirk sends Levi into a rage, he doesn’t think twice about punching him face. The sound of bones cracking under his knuckles the most satisfying sound he’s heard all day. Grabbing Zeke’s hair he pulls his face up to meet fiery grey eyes.

“Let me make this clear, you declared war on me and my kingdom the second you thought about hurting Y/N. It doesn’t matter who you have and where they are because just like you, they’re all going to be eliminated.” Levi’s tone is unwavering, not a hint of emotion can be heard. His lips curl back into a sneer, his demeanour that of a possessed man.

“You’re in for a long night boys, Jean make sure our guests are nice and comfortable” Levi’s eyes follow them out of the throne room, his fingers shaking with rage as he balls his fists.

Returning to their room after calming down he finds Hange leaning over Y/N, tilting her head back to help her drink another clear liquid.

“You found it?” He demands rushing over to her side, immediately he notices colour beginning to come back to her face.

“Yeah, it wasn’t easy but I managed. She should wake up in a few hours but she’s going to be pretty weak for a couple days.” Levi’s hand grips Y/N still one, his conscience can finally rest easy knowing that she would survive.

“Heard you found the guys who did this to her.” Hange remarks, packing away her medical supplies rather haphazardly into her bag.

“Wasn’t hard, dumb shits were bragging about it in the fucking throne room for God’s sake” rolling his eyes, Hange barks out a sharp laugh. Placing her hand on his shoulder, her expression is unusually serious.

“Make them pay Levi, who knows I might drop by myself. I’m a bit rusty but I could use a bit of stress relief”

“Only you would call torture stress relief four-eyes” he snorts.

“I’ll be back to check on her tomorrow morning” Levi’s shoulders slump forward, the events of the past day taking a toll on his emotions. Stripping out of his robes he slips into more casual clothing, curling up beside Y/N. Her body turns over facing him, her hands seeking him out even in sleep. Chuckling he pulls her close against his chest, kissing the top of her head. He was going to make sure Zeke suffered greatly for hurting his queen.

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ghostmartyr · 3 years

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how a life can move from the darkness [11/?]

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

Summary: Two drug addicts (Eren and Historia) meet in group and decide to be roommates to make their living situation slightly less weird. From there we do the slow burn found family dance mixed in with the struggles and agonies of recovery. Heavy on friendship feels, especially EMA. Eventual yumikuri.

Ymir was going to be part of Eren’s life. He’d known for a while he didn’t have much of a choice in that. There wasn’t anything surprising about her coming to one of Zeke’s games. The surprise would be if she kept it at one. Ymir did what she wanted unless Historia told her not to, and according to Reiner what she wanted was to see Historia in a baseball uniform.

Eren didn’t need to know that, but he was getting used to all of it. He didn’t need Historia asking him five different times if Ymir meeting Armin and Mikasa was something he was okay with. No one had to hold his hand over them anymore. He had two of his own.

ymir’s showing at the game historia’s friend

Is this the girl from juvie

why do you know that

Historia was in juvie??

She watches Rivaille for me sometimes. It came up.

Why was Historia in juvie??

from when she killed her dad

Oh. That makes sense Wait, I thought that was self defense sort of

No.

????

It was all fine, and the worst thing about any of it was still that he was going to one of Zeke’s baseball games. Which wasn’t even so bad with Armin, Mikasa, and Historia all there and whole. Petra had called it a ‘sterling improvement.’ Eren didn’t remind her of all the parts left to work on. Maybe she’d call that an improvement, too.

What wasn’t fine was jolting awake at four in the morning, music Eren didn’t recognize blasting from his phone while his head hit go on lunging out of bed into his nightstand.

Ankle caught in his sheets, Eren held the box of sensory destruction in his hands for full seconds before the ability to turn it off came back to him. Blinding puffs of white clouds parted, and he could swipe the brightness down to numbing without his ears bleeding.

A jumble of words waited on his brain to catch up. Sprouting like weeds.

yo Baseball Boy u have friends coming to this thing right ur ocean instagram hot tub scale bro and catgirl

The corner of his phone agreed. It was four in the morning.

It buzzed enthusiastically in his hand, helpful emoji arrows loading to point at empty image boxes. They were quickly filled by another Eren, kneeling in wet sand and unaware that Armin was expanding the subjects of his Instagram. Five different angles popped up.

who needs this many pics of a sea urchin was he trying to get the seashell ur on top of

Eren’s fingers moved slowly.

why are you awake

Ymir did not respond with an answer.

how many hours do photoshoots like this take

Another shot loaded under the text, and it could have been the end of the world and Eren still would have recognized the picture from his last beach trip. Mikasa, magically captured in a moment of lifting him and Armin into the air. The unfair, unexpected moment in a day of clouds and uncooperative waves. Armin hadn’t seen it coming any more than Eren had, even though it was his picture. But he was the one beaming into the camera.

Eren hadn’t wanted to go. There was a tournament to prep for. Annie had been helping him. The cut on his cheek from her toe catching his face hadn’t even had a chance to heal. Captured in that one second Mikasa had lifted them up and Armin had thought to hold on to his phone, the mark was bright and red, flexing with his open mouth of outrage.

Mikasa was smiling too. She just wasn’t looking at the phone.

The top of the photo was cut off with a buzz.

u have a face under that hair… unreal […] u’d look prettier if u smiled

Eren untangled his foot from his bedding and flumped back on his pillow with his phone in hand.

fuck off

do u kiss ur besties with those fingers am I gonna get to watch that @ the game

Irritation didn’t offer the same warmth as his comforter, but the kindling helped take off the morning chill. Eren scrubbed his face with the palm of his hand and scowled at the screen.

you and historia need to stop asking about that I’m fine

A minute passed. Long enough for a yawn to dim the adrenaline.

cool

Eren waited for the rest.

He woke up with the sun shining under his blinds, his phone inside his pillowcase, no new messages from Ymir, and one unread apology text from Historia sent at five in the morning. And a baseball game to go to.

----

“You sure you don’t want to play? You have the arms for it.”

Yelena sat in the corner of the dugout. Up straight, even though her hair caught in the splinters hooked in the ceiling. Smiling, because she did that. Giving Eren an entire bench of personal space he hadn’t asked for, because she did that too.

“I’m sure,” he said, taking the batting helmets out of Zeke’s bag and jamming them in their cubbies.

Yelena was the only other person in the dugout. She started better cold. According to her.

Mikasa and Historia were warming up in the outfield, Historia looking out at the bleachers every five seconds. Colt and Zeke were next to them. Throwing like Colt didn’t mind doing nothing else a thousand times over.

One of the helmets hit the shelf instead of its slot. Eren ignored the field and shoved it back into place. Armin was planning to be on time instead of an hour early, so he wasn’t around yet.

Yelena was smiling at Eren.

He didn’t like it.

“Zeke keeps a spare uniform on hand. Your roommate would have found trouble with the fit, but your proportions are more agreeable,” Yelena said. “He’d be happy to give it to you. Playing with his brother again would mean the world and more to him.”

The helmets were cheap plastic past the padding. Eren’s hands could crack them. Easily. Take Zeke’s toys and break them to see if that would make talking to Eren about feelings and what he wanted sound any better.

He’d done that by accident as a kid. It never worked. Whether or not it would now wasn’t a thought that had even settled when a new voice found its way into the shaded dirt. “What’s big brother have against the world?”

Like a grinning gargoyle, mocking and light, Ymir appeared, settling her arms on the dugout’s roof and leaning into Eren’s personal space. His reflection blinked at him from the mirrored rainbow sunglasses perched on her forehead.

It took several seconds before the reflection’s eyes shifted enough to catch the waving figure next to her. Armin, earlier than he ever was to these, because he never got enough sleep and had to catch up somewhere, smiled awkwardly, a good chunk of his body fully accosted by Ymir.

Something heavy and warm was threading into Eren’s chest, and it made it hard to look at either of them. “Aren’t those Reiner’s?” he asked.

“Aren’t you going to say hello?”

He put away the last helmet soundlessly. “You stole his sunglasses?”

“Since my last felony went so well,” Ymir said, hopping down and crushing a sunflower seed under the pointed dress shoes she’d decided to wear to a baseball game. “You should care more that I stole Instagram boy.”

She flipped off the glasses and planted them squarely on Eren’s head, bypassing every physical and verbal protest. Armin, standing out in the sunshine and looking happier than anyone should at one of these things, quietly drew out his phone and Eren rolled his eyes compliantly before the shutter noise sounded.

Yelena interrupted the moment.

“You’re new.”

Armin’s smile stiffened. Ymir’s hands made another knot in Eren’s hair, and she passed Yelena a bored look. “Yeah,” she said, “I suppose I am. You’d be?”

“Yelena,” said Yelena. A hand stuck out by Eren’s hip and hovered there with all the earnest politeness that never felt honest coming from her. She kept at it every time anyway. “It’s a pleasure to meet another one of Eren’s friends.”

“I’ll bet,” Ymir said. “You don’t look like someone who comes by that naturally.” There was a shark in those teeth. Eren hadn’t realized Yelena was bleeding in the water. “Don’t take it too personally; that brother of his doesn’t have apartment privileges either.”

Without another word, she grabbed Eren by his scalp and yanked him up the steps, disregarding his balance and safety and pulling him into the morning sunlight next to a staring Armin. Before she kept the movement going and pressed heavy hands on their backs and shoved them out of the backstop’s limits.

Failing on the rest, and making limited headway forcing Ymir out of his hair, Eren offered,“Good morning.”

Armin, eyes alight and stunned, said, “Good morning.”

Eren jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. “This is Ymir.”

Armin nodded. “We met by the drinking fountain.”

Eren nodded.

Ymir continued pushing them towards the bleachers, scuffing line chalk all over their shoes, with only one telling stumble that set Armin free from her grip. Eren wasn’t so lucky, and it felt on purpose.

The pressure pushing him away from the dugout didn’t let up. Ymir had earned her rock climbing qualifications somewhere and it showed, but her entire head was aimed at the outfield, where Historia missed an easy lob by her head because her glove was down at her waist. Mikasa had to call her name several times before it took, and she jogged back to fetch the ball with a stumble that gave Mikasa time to look over to determine what was so distracting.

She found Eren first. In their oddly connected pile.

He pointed at Ymir.

Mikasa’s eyebrows rose. He shrugged.

Ymir stared, since that’s what she did when Historia was in orbit, and Historia kept moving while she stared back. Crossing near Zeke and Colt in the process. Where every third throw was a risk since Zeke was putting Colt through grounder paces. Colt wasn’t great with grounders. His little brother was. Eren was. That was half of little league.

Armin’s face popped in front of Eren and he almost jumped. “Ymir thought you’d like watching from the stands with us,” he said. “That’s not how she said it, but—do you want to?”

A floater landed softly in Colt’s glove, and Eren pulled his eyes away. “Sure,” he said, focusing on Armin and the warmth coming through Ymir’s hand on his back. On how easy it always was here.

“So Armin,” Ymir said into the quiet morning mist, “what was Eren like before he had hair?”

“Louder, mostly.”

“Hey.”

----

Watching from the bleachers wasn’t that different from watching from the dugout. There were still rooting for the same people. Nothing they did contributed to how it was going. It was still several hours of watching people stand in one spot waiting for a moment that might never come.

There wasn’t anything new to it.

“Cutter.”

“Not with this one. Fastball.”

“Zeke’s more strategic than that. No one else on their team has gotten a hit all day. He won’t risk that happening again in the final inning.”

“No one else getting a piece of him means he has something to prove.”

“Winning proves that better.”

Nothing new at all, except Armin wasn’t sitting with a bunch of people who didn’t care about how their genius pitcher won them the game. He was sitting next to Ymir, a bunch of twigs in the shape of a diamond resting etween them, small gouges in the splintered stands where they’d jabbed in larger sticks to make their points earlier.

“What do you think, Eren?” Ymir’s voice broke into his lazy contentment. “How much of a prideful prick is big brother?”

Eren looked over at the mound, where he hadn’t had to all game with the commentary running by his ears. Where Zeke stood as the king of his domain. Steady and calm to anyone who did think to look. “Fastball.”

Armin objected. “It’s the ninth inning, it doesn’t make any sense to—”

The pitch left Zeke’s hand. Straight as an arrow. Hammering into the catcher’s mitt. In three of the movies that had somehow survived their list purges, this was where the stadium would go silent before the crowd erupted in cheers.

They weren’t in a stadium, and there wasn’t a crowd.

Armin sighed, his careful placement of twigs slipping back down to the ground.

Ymir clucked her tongue. “You hate to see it.”

“They won,” Eren said, unhelpfully. Armin’s heavier sigh made the whole diamond shine brighter. Past tolerable. Put with Ymir’s rolling eyes and Mikasa jogging to the outfield to walk in with Historia, it hit somewhere closer to whatever Zeke saw whenever he stepped up to the mound.

Whatever it was that made showing up worth it. Eren had never understood as a kid, stuck in the bleachers with his grandparents. Finally being let into the dugout didn’t make it any better, even when it should have. Getting a taste when he was back to the bleachers while the teams shook hands wasn’t something he would have thought to look for.

The baseball part was still dumb.

Ymir’s elbow jabbed his ribs and pointed at Mikasa. “That’s the cat friend?”

Eren pushed her back into Armin’s section of bench. “We told you that was her when she got the grand slam.” All four runs on the board were thanks to Mikasa. Armin had jumped to his feet to cheer for her. The guy walking his dog nearby knew who Mikasa was, and Ymir was paying more attention.

She didn’t snipe back. She dropped Reiner’s sunglasses on his head and kept staring out at the field. Historia had spent most of the game out of range. Every few shook hands she glanced over her shoulder, but Ymir didn’t so much as twitch at the extra attention. She was watching Mikasa. The hand she’d dropped to the bench was digging into the splintered edge.

She’d used that hand to text him at four in the morning.

“You’re nervous,” Eren said abruptly.

Ymir scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Eren looked at Armin for confirmation. Armin’s wide eyes darted between them, Ymir stubbornly staring at the back of Mikasa’s head as she hit the end of the line. After a stalled second that said everything, he shrugged diplomatically.

Eren spun back to Ymir. “You are.”

“Right, because meeting up with your friends really earned its spot on my dayplanner,” Ymir said, unclenching her fist enough to lean back on the next row of bleachers. It didn’t look as casual as she thought it did.

Armin tried to help. “Mikasa’s not that scary once you get to know her,” he said. “She’s amazing at everything, and that can intimidate some people, but—”

“I am not intimidated,” Ymir declared. “From everything you nerds have told me her cat’s scarier than she is.”

“Rivaille’s…” Armin’s defense fell short. “A rescue,” he said at last.

Eren picked his dropped thread back up. “If you’re not intimidated, what are you nervous about?”

“Are your ears broken?” Ymir said. “I’m not nervous.”

“You’re breaking the seats with your hand.”

She stole her sunglasses back and pointed them at him. “All that says is your brother should pick a better park to play at.”

“The league figures that out.”

“They’re walking over,” Armin said.

Eren and Ymir shut up. Ymir’s face had lost the shade of color Historia usually gave her, and maybe there was something wrong with that, but the only other time Eren had seen her in a social situation she wasn’t in control of, she’d started crying. Maybe she was just like this with new people.

Historia didn’t have the extra bounce Ymir usually gave her, either. But anything could take away Historia’s good mood, and Ymir was more like her everything.

Mikasa looked like Mikasa. She wasn’t someone to be nervous over.

“C’mon,” Eren said, wrenching Ymir’s arm out of the splinters. “Get up and say hi.”

Ymir flicked him off and tromped down the stands. Armin was biting back a smile. Eren held out a hand and swung him to his feet, following Ymir without helping her grow any of the cracks in the wood.

Like magnets, Historia fell into Ymir’s orbit instantly, and any of Mikasa’s intimidation factor that Ymir had made up evaporated. Ymir slid Reiner’s sunglasses down over her eyes and looked Historia and her haphazardly dusted uniform up and down.

The color came back, and Ymir coughed into her hand. “Shouldn’t have swung at that ball in the fifth,” she said.

Historia’s whole face twitched in exasperation. “I thought I could reach it.”

Ymir grinned and hooked a finger around one of her sleeves, pulling her close enough for Armin to carefully switch his gaze to Eren’s shoulder. “With these nubs?” she asked. “Has anyone tried to ship you off to little league yet?”

“She throws too hard.”

Mikasa’s quiet insertion drew all eyes to her.

Stable and calm, she wasn’t at all put off by Ymir, or Historia’s cleat digging into Ymir’s shoe. Which she noticed. And smiled at. She’d had worse. For as long as Eren had known her. If the shame didn’t steel out the words, he could have told Ymir that.

Ymir shot Eren a look, a leering smile mocking him. “I’ve heard that.” Then she switched back to Mikasa, and the person who manned an entire household she didn’t live in gleamed under her stolen sunglasses. She stuck out her hand.

“Ymir.”

Mikasa silently looked between Ymir and Historia’s proximity and Eren.

She took Ymir’s hand.

“Eren’s friend,” she said.

Ymir bristled, but next to her, Historia’s eyes did the sunburst thing Armin’s did. Those moments that wiped everything else away, because the world stopped and paid attention when it noticed someone with the brightness to change it was waking up.

They’d lived together for months. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her happy before.

Defensive tension leaked out of Ymir like a beach balloon. She saved the last of it for a pointed scowl in Eren’s direction before dropping out of the handshake and turning away from all of them. Stuttering somewhat when Historia’s hand quietly took up the residence Mikasa’s had been thrown from.

“I guess,” Ymir said shortly. “Your boy’s okay.”

Eren’s ears burned, and he glared at the backstop. Armin’s soft laugh and Mikasa’s audible smile did not make the burning go away. It just went other places and was even harder to ignore.

“Yeah, well. You’re… fine,” he said.

The brutal, heated silence of embarrassment continued. Everyone else didn’t mind. His eyes flicked up and made the mistake of catching Mikasa’s.

Affection spilled out freely from her. Genuine and familiar. Warmer than she’d been with him even before everything fell apart. She made the blood rushing to his head feel like it was allowed to be there, and maybe wasn’t ever going to leave.

Mikasa was fine too.

----

“Are you doing okay with all of that?”

There were questions Eren had learned to put up with. Questions from Reiner had been an early test of that. Strung out and on fire, he could break Reiner’s face open for talking at all, or suck it up and learn how to be human again.

Figuring out answers to the questions wasn’t the same thing.

“Huh?” Eren said.

They were outside Reiner’s house, waiting on Ymir. She’d gotten a text from Historia on her way to pick up her helmet and the world went on pause.

“With that,” Reiner said, pointing over his shoulder at the front door.

The front door stayed a front door.

“With what?” Eren asked blankly.

“With Ymir and Historia being a thing,” Reiner said. Before Eren could add another ‘what,’ the words kept going. Reiner was at his most earnest this morning, and he bridged the gap between their bikes with a creak of metal and sincerity that Eren didn’t want. “Third wheeling can be rough.”

Eren was a morning person. It was too early for this. He said, “I’m fine.”

Reiner’s open sympathy didn’t falter. Under the dark circles and the bunched tendons in his arms that still didn’t know how to relax, there was nothing but plain, unnecessary compassion. “I talked it over with Bert and Marcel, and everyone’s fine with you rooming here.”

Anything Eren could say or wanted to be confused by got lost in syrup and waffles and the inevitable. He unclamped his hands from his bicycle and rubbed away the red indents before they were visible to anyone but him. “I have a room.”

A nice room. With sheets that had made it through two homes he wasn’t going back to. He wasn’t going to volunteer a third. “And they wouldn’t just kick me out,” Eren added, a phantom of Ymir’s hand ruffling his hair.

Reiner held one of his elbows in a way Eren had etched into his head from Historia. “No,” he agreed. “They’re not like that. They’re too used to us to ask. But for guys like us, it’s hard not to help out.” His bike shifted under him. He didn’t lean in any closer, but the world around them closed. “Only guys like us don’t do well on our own.”

Eren stayed quiet. His tongue was fuzzy. The way it had been when he woke up in the hospital. He didn’t know why he’d decided to like that feeling.

“I just wanted you to know you don’t have to go backwards,” Reiner said after a moment or two. “That’s all.”

It wasn’t that cold, but the heat in Eren’s ears still stung more than anything. He stared squarely at the ground, where a pillbug was scrunching down the sidewalk. Petra and months of encouragement didn’t make the improvement feel good. Just necessary enough to be weird.

“Thanks,” he said.

Reiner clapped him on the back hard enough to leave marks on both of them.

[next]

#drug au #fic #mine #long post

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