#like yk usually therapist say it's coming from an irrational fear but i don't feel like I'm being irrational i think I'm very logical | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

7-oh-ta1 · 3 months

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Been trying to working on my trust issues thru writing and here's the problem: I think everything I say makes sense how does everyone else not think this way

#lindsay speaks #// vent ish #like yk usually therapist say it's coming from an irrational fear but i don't feel like I'm being irrational i think I'm very logical #like i mentioned recently i don't believe in absolutes especially in relationships and the counselor I was talking to was baffled ghhghfh #''not even your family?'' girl especially??? what are we talking about #and then it was how do you know if you don't try / every person is different every relationship is and it's like yeah #but someone always leaves first there's no other end to this story yadayada so then it's it's normal for relationships to only last a seaso #like ok so you agree there are no absolutes and shes like wait no. ok so what gives. there's no such thing as unconditional love #there's always conditions. there's always exceptions. there's always an end. and the majority of the time it's a bloody one.#so really why treat anything seriously.... it will never last soooo... i give up #literally everytime i have said ''yk what... I'm going to trust them. if they say nothing's wrong then nothing's wrong. if I'm loving them #wrong they will let me know. if they hate me they will tell me. stop worrying stop worrying!!'' and then it's always [#[psychological manipulation] [psychological manipulation] [psychological manipulation]#and I'm left feeling like what the fuck is reality what is going on and they're like ''yk you're just not fun anymore'' and throw me away #meanwhile I'm still laying there in the garbage bin confused as fuck !!!!!!!! what the hell !!!!!! I'm not fun anymore because I'm hurt??#and confused???#so no. absolutes do not exist. and people will leave you for reasons such as ''too emotional'' or ''no fun anymore''#and I've accepted that. i guess it's trying to unaccept it that i struggle with.#because logically. it just makes sense.#and it's ruining my life that i can't trust anyone #and I'm right about it.#and if it's not a universal truth then... it's just me. and I'm cursed #my b lemme stop being so not fun then.

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