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#like whatever I GOT MY FAVE THING BACK
missazura · 1 year
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the nightmare before christmas is my favourite thing since i was a small kid and its so funny finding out that my mom HATED that i rewatched it so much that its practically ingrained in my brain. she basically banned it at some point and refused to rent it so i’d forget it, but it showed up on cable when i was 12 or so and i REJOICED that the nightmarish visions in my head were an actual thing 
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broke-on-books · 9 months
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The live action Scooby-Doo movies?
I did not see this ask until RIGHT now (first time on desktop since crab day, second time since Nov 5 2020 [which was DOUBLY experience since I got my phone taken the same day]) so I'm going to assume this ask got eaten on mobile because tumblr, HOWEVER you poked a bear with this ask anon (as I'm sure you knew when asking) SO without further ado: my Scooby Doo live action opinions
So when you say 'live action Scooby-Doo movies' I'm assuming you're talking about the James Gunn films, starting with Scooby-Doo (2002) followed by Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, just due to like, generally popularity and also the fact that I have actually seen those films. However shoot another ask if you wanted me to include Curse of the Lake Monster in this (because I will if anyone cares and turn this into a live-action scooby dissertation, i'd just need to like. watch the movie first) But anyways where I'm going with this is that this post is about the Gunn movies aka the ones with SMG, Freddie Prinze Jr., Linda Cardellini, and ofc our #1 man, Matthew Lilliard.
Okay so my take on these movies is... complicated. I wouldn't say it's as complicated as my feelings towards SDMI, because I watched the live actions way less as a kid and generally care less about them, but still no matter how much shit I throw at these two movies there are parts that I generally like (even love) that stops me from totally condemning them wholesale. Like the fact that these movies are FUNNY! There's so many moments from this duology that are just beyond iconic "like, that's one of my favorite names!" the whole thing with Scooby in the dress at the airport, ET. CETERA (like I can go on!)
The Gunn movies are genuinely SO fun and I can 100% see and understand how they've stood so well in the public view as a representation of Scooby. HOWEVER, this is where you start to see my problems with them. For the general American, (because that is the audience I'm familiar with) ESPECIALLY millennials and younger, who happen to make up the majority of both people on this site AND people I talk about Scooby with in real life, these movies, and the elements they introduced as "quintessential scooby tropes" are the base of their understanding of the Scooby franchise, along with likely some miscellaneous WAY episodes and maybe SDMI.
Which is where I get pissed off. In the pushing of the narrative of "breaking away" from the Scooby norm, Gunn basically invents (aka totally makes up) an idea of what classic era Scooby was like, cementing an idea of classic Scooby into the public mind that is totally disingenuous and just straight up false. For example, in attempting to portray Daphne as having taken strides to be seen more seriously in solving mysteries and defending herself, it pushes the narrative that in the classic era she WASN'T taken seriously, and only existed as a damsel-in-distress prop of a character, which is just not true??? Like yes, Daphne is clumsy, that's a part of her character, and her friends (because, fun fact, the gang ARE friends) joke about it sometimes because that's what friends DO. Framing that in some kind of sexist "that's all she does" lens is just total bull, especially as gang members fall into secret passageways/get lost etc. in WAY ALL THE DAMN TIME because that's how the plot functions! Like are we calling Velma ditzy for losing her glasses every other episode? Of course not, and Fred falls into passageways all the time, not to MENTION Shaggy and Scooby and all they get up to. Also one last thing on the topic of Daphne, like this idea of her mystery solving skills not being respected by the gang is just so supremely bullshit it amazes me sometimes, especially when she was the LEADER (or leader adjacent) through pretty much all of her appearances in the 1980s [Not that James Gunn could look at '80s era Scooby without spitting on it, but I digress]
AND THIS IS JUST DAPHNE! Like the perceptions pushed towards Fred (and Velma, but mostly Fred) through these movies are just as bad! Like okay, with Fred---In these movies Fred is just an asshole. I hate Gunn Movies!Fred. I mean yeah he can be funny but it's almost always so mean! Almost nothing makes me madder than a mean Fred by the way. If he's putting other gang members down (even halfway, like with his whole "dorky chicks like you turn me on too" line, which... ew) then to me something has gone very, very, VERY, wrong in your basic understanding of Frederick Herman Jones as a character. Like he's the cheerleader! He puts himself in between his friends and danger! He loves nets, and traps, and Elvis impressions, and wrestling, and the trapeze, and cars, and most of all he LOVES sharing the things he loves with his friends! (Sometimes to a bit of an extreme. No one wants to hear about your net facts, Fred) And the live action movies just don't understand that at all. And I know there's maybe something to say I suppose in that some of those aspects of his characterization hadn't been "established yet" by the time "Scooby-Doo" came out in 2002. But it's there if you look. For Fred Jones, being the leader means being the caretaker, (he's the Mom friend what can I say) and any version where he's cruel and arrogant and just DOESN'T CARE about his friends in the way he's shown to in the Gunn movies is just so far from Fred to me it's not even funny. And what makes it even worse for me is that this (or at least something similar) is the idea of Fred that has really spread to the popular culture. Just the "leader", the jock that makes the rules, the one that [insert X adaptation here] finally gave a personality and made interesting (something that has been said more times than I can count for pretty much every gang member, save Shaggy and Scooby).
And I haven't even touched on Velma, and how they gave her a bit of a early 2000s smart superiority girl complex against Daphne, plus the whole makeover thing and etc. etc. The Gunn Movies are pretty much what would happen if you took someone who hadn't seen Scooby since they were 7 years old (and honestly had a pretty negative outlook against it then) and tried to "fix" it, only his memory was so bad he just made up problems (and threw in a good helping of early 2000s style sexism with it) convincing pretty much the entirety of the popular culture that said problems exist and that Gunn was absolutely brilliant for fixing them (and then bringing up said "problems" whenever anyone wants to talk about Scooby) and this entire rant has been without even fucking MENTIONING what is probably the reason you, anonymous tumblr user sent this ask in the first place, to I, Swishy "Scrappy Doo Redemption Arc" Broke-on-books (dot tumblr dot com), which is his HIGHLY SUCESSFUL and utterly sadistic character assassination of my number one man, Scrappy Doo.
And I am going to try my damnedest here not to get totally into my highly passionate opinions over what James Gunn did to Scrappy in the first of his Scooby movies and how thoroughly it has pissed me the fuck off because I have been writing this post for over an hour now and if we start to really get into my feelings on this topic it will certainly be a couple of hours more but like. That Fucking Bitch. I give James Gunn personally a solid eighty-five percent of the blame for making my life as a Scrappy Doo fan UTTERLY unbearable with this stupid fucking movie alone, and just his Scrappy crimes would honestly be enough for me to say that I hate this movie, not even considering the numerous Scooby crimes I've been talking about here for the past million paragraphs, but the part about this movie that makes me the MOST mad the most pissed off is that it's actually a good fucking movie. James Gunn wrote two hilarious and entertaining movies that have become beloved in the popular culture for their successes in that arena, while at the same time pissing all over the core themes and messages of the franchise of which it was based, that of friendship.
TLDR; The Live Action Scooby Doo movies (written by James Gunn) are highly entertaining and fun pieces of media to watch, and are widely loved by the general public and looked at with fondness and nostalgia because of that. However, as a hardcore Scooby Doo fan (writing that phrase sounds so ridiculous but oh well) the existence of these movies and their impact on the popular culture can be extremely frustrating (despite any personal nostalgia said fan may have) due to their spreading of a misinformed picture of what "typical Scooby Doo" looks like. This picture is especially frustrating due to the fabrication or exaggeration of problems present in classic Scooby (such as sexism in regards to the girls), as well as giving more ammunition to other problems in Scooby fandom (such as oversexualization, and sexualization in general, which no one wants to see in regards to their children's cartoons, like HONESTLY.) Discussions of sexism and sexualization in Scooby (both of which ARE present and are issues, although not at their worst in WAY) can often lead to an overlooking of the issues that are very present and clear in WAY and have continued since then with far too little resistance (I'm 100% talking about the racism here) HOWEVER that topic deserves at least a dozen posts of its own that I am no way informed or qualified enough to even begin to think about writing. The Gunn Movies are frustrating to many longtime Scooby fans because of these reasons, but for me, and fellow Scrappy Doo fans there is also the added aspect of the demonization of Scrappy Doo in the live action movies and the affects that has had on the popular culture as well, making it uniquely inhospitable to like or enjoy the character of Scrappy. End post.
#that last sentence is such a weird tone jump btw but its because the topic flowed one way and i had to jump it back to a summary to actually#finish this monster of a post#SO anon i hope you're happy with this and this makes my opinion make some more sense. and you or anyone else is more than welcome to ask me#questions about anything i said here or my opinion on any and everything scooby related (and not) so if theres a specific aspect of this yo#would like expanded on i can definitely 100% do that for you or anyone who cares#also there are many complexities towards my feelings on these movies that i didnt get to hit on despite the monstrous size of this rant (il#check word count later but im not gonna fuck with it now because im terrified of deleting this post by accident) one of which is my lasting#fondness towards all of the actors in this movie. YES including freddie prinze jr. i may have major issues with his fred but hes also playe#characters i really really like. for example hes the va in this tv show i LOVE and havent watched in like 10 months despite the fact im on#the last season because freddie's character dies in like 7 episodes and i am NOT AT ALL emotionally prepared for that on any level because#that is my fictional father goddamnit!!!!!#also every buffy the vampire slayer gifset that crosses my dash gets me closer and closer to watching it because oh my god daphne!!!!! that#sarah michelle gellar thats daphne oh my god!!!! also i went and saw guardians of the galaxy 3 with my friend (despite not having seen a#marvel movie in 2+ years AND holding a grudge over james gunn's scooby doo crimes)[the things you do for {platonic} love amirite?]#and the title sequence SAID linda cardellini was in it and i got SO excited i was looking everywhere for her it was like wheres waldo in th#discount movie theatre FOR REAL and i just could NOT for the life of me find her (turns out she was VAing the ferret) so in a way linda mad#me cry with that role. whatever. istg i get so off topic i forget what i was even talking about but ANYWAYS <<<1 of my fave english words b#dubs (my favorite spanish word is el amanacer btw. it means sunrise. also burbujas because its bubbles and saying it sounds like bubbles#popping) BUT. AS I WAS SAYING. SEND ME ASKS IF YOU WANT SCOOBY DOO OPINIONS. DEAR GOD I GET SCATTERBRAINED SOMETIMES.#scooby doo#answered#anonymous#blah
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red-dyed-sarumane · 8 months
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i have a new theory for aru sekai fans & by new i mean someone else might have caught on already but i havent seen it said SO. the rute furutewoa melody is in kyuuyaku, touhikou, & now kannagi (maybe elsewhere bc i havent been looking for this motif before i only realized it today really & i havent had time to go thru all the songs again yet) & we have kyuu (past), something in touhikou im too tired to remember currently but i remember calling something similar a while ago when someone asked if there was a timeline to this, and now kannagi that uses the older language so im willing to bet this motif is a way of saying the events in the song happened in the "past". whether thats actually Long Ago or just to say its not the current situation or just happened before the songs without it i cant say for sure but i think it makes sense given what we have now.
just like we have the nami no ne no motif that signals which characters still have their "self" if its in the song or lost it if its not.
i have to do some more digging of course but with what i know right now this makes the most sense to me
#aru sekai series#u know those old people who say they do crosswords to keep their brain sharp. thats what this series feels like to me.#incredibly complex puzzle to put together in which i need to be constantly learning new things & concepts#anyway for some reason i feel like theres a link to ashura that im not touching on too but idk for sure yet#there is. something about ashura that drives me insane bc it FEELS familiar there IS. SOME sort of motif or theme or SOMETHING there#i KNOW it but i can never place WHAT it makes me rabid.#tell me your secrets puppet girl#also btw kannagi i think also ties into touhikou. given the art & that line thats like prayer will come to sustain us or whatever it is#its 2am ive had a long day i dont remember the exact thing rn. usually i check before posting but please excuse me just this once#i wish i could make friends with the jpn magu fans who also go wild over the lore but idk how to find them. its always like one off comments#sorry i didnt really go wild over yamete kudasai. it just felt rather straight forward & didnt give any big reveals that i know of#so i just kind of went ah neat & looped it for a while#but kannagi. kannagi's got the puzzle aspect back & a WHOLE BUNCH of links to other songs. & thats without knowing the lyrics#but also u know kyuuyaku's my fave so having this be closely related is a big 👀👀👀 for me#i saw someone try to say kannagis the ka in the amakakeru arc of songs (if that is a real arc. it Is a fan theory idk how accurate tho)#but that wouldnt be right bc we already have kanon for the ka.#if there are arcs like that i think itd be in with whatever ashura's in. even tho ashura is a 5 kanji song and kannagis only 1
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elytrafemme · 8 months
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every single fictional character i like should split and have mood swings like me. "ohhhhh but it's not canotical" "ohh they have good control over their emotions and stable views on the world" i don't fucking care. i see cq in his fake desert i see klavier's control dialogue i see dahlia and her serial murders and komaeda and the gun literally fuck with me right now. we need to stop being cowards about our fictional character headcanons i think everyone should kill people always because i can't
#neg#omg am i having an episode right now is this episode coded is that what we're doing oh my God should we tell all your friends#should we call the president oh my God mare is having an episode right now guys don't freak but it's finally happening aaaahhh#we've been waiting forever but our queen's finally back she's having an episode oh my God we stan like crazy oh my God i'm calling everyone#can we have a cake at the episode tell me we're having cake at the episode i'm buying a cake it's official girls oh my God AAAH#she's so crazy LOVEEE her. oh my God!!!#anyway i think my blond bitch rockstar fave should get to kill the titular character!#sorry i hate the fucking name censoring in tags i'm trying to ween off of it cause it's like not accessible tee bee aych#but like i need to speak my truth so we're doing epithets#he should literally get to kill him and rip his carpet up WHY DOES NOBODY TALK ABT IT#they all make him cry or whatever this isn't the right blog for this but i've got images okay#enough crying enough consolation hugging where's my apology only for it to not be accepted and things to be fucking over#where's MY catharsis you know. this barbie needs catharsis!#i'm super light headed i should super stop posting but like who am i going to text in these conditions#the answer is nobody nobody wants to text my phone like they can blow it up it's fine w/e#i'd make instagram stories but it'll be like a whole thing and they'll report me again for mental illness#i'm going to stop apologizing for having breakdowns publicly actually. if you were like this you would too.#actually maybe you wouldn't because you'd be soooo well adjusted well i'm a weak bitch like actually#and my bones are fucking breaking right now so i'm gonna tell everyone about it <3#i licherally don't want to damage public property now and by that i mean my room LMAOOOO#this is nawt public property but the paints so nice
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hecksupremechips · 1 year
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Mental illness has increased by 50% because i finished one of my classic play throughs of 999. I am going to become much much more annoying for the next month or so
#999#i mentioned last week that i got my beloved ps4 back and yeah i just had to play 999 cuz it had been SO LONG#*had only been like not even a full year*#unfortunately there was a lot of complications with the damn thing and essentially all the save data and hours put into zero escape was#completely wiped#so yeah i had to really replay everything which like im honestly fine with cuz its not like a personalized type game its straightforward#and i played every inch of the game to really get in all the details i forgot#dont even worry about that im totally fine mentally ahahahah...ha#anyways#in every playthrough I do of 999 i always go into it with the goal of getting myself to like or at least understand akane#i think this one was the most thought i put into it#i think some of my opinions of her were tainted by ztd which was the last ze game i played as of late#its very annoying cuz like you do get a lot more of her character there but also#you gotta sit through that catastrophe of a game#its just not worth it 😤#but whatever i think ive warmed up to her. i mean i never really HATED her or anything close to that but idk its like#the things i dont like about her are still there but they arent as annoying to me now#and the things i do like about her increased cuz idk i think ive just gotten smarter or more able to understand her#shes still far from being my fave cuz her personality is just not for me at all but#godDAMN shes such a good villain and character#i wanna study her forever the god complex she has is unhinged absolutely insane#yay! the characters in this game are all my funny guys i love them all! except that bastard ace ewww
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isa-ghost · 2 years
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me watching all the jse people flood back to my notes/inbox from the depths of lurking and newbies following me bc of shitposts & hype about the probably-distant future, and then looking at how almost 3 years of tryharding to get dsmp mutuals/friends has gotten me like... 2 acquaintances, even during the most active times in the fandom
man, it really is true that most people cant escape whatever their blog “mained” first huh 🤪
#this is a rant/vent kind of i guess#dont reblog is what im saying#but uh#i mean ive always been multifandom i just hyperfixed on the egos#and im not trying to escape the jse community ofc#actually this post is more like. praising the jsec for being so?? involved and friendly? whereas in my exp the dsmp fandom is.....#prob triple the amount of people than the jsec and yet its fuckin crickets. talking to ppl hasnt made any friends#shitposting does nothing predictions abt lore has done nothing memes do nothing. like. ive been so involved in stuff and nah.#its like that meme where the people at the party are staring at you in mild disgust#and a lot of them prob wont even like you bc the fandom is so opinionated abt dif ccs and interpretations of story and whatnot??#idk how to describe it without sounding like the gross kid bitching that he cant make friends w the ''pretty popular girls'' or smth#but like. the same things i did that got me SO MANY friends in the jsec has done fuckall in the dsmp fandom#like how the fuck do you make friends in there seriously bc nothing has done much even when i keep trying to talk to people#i end up just feeling like im annoying them. basically anyone who likes dsmp whos a friend of mine was/is in the jsec before#shoutout to the jsec for being so welcoming and flooding right back to their fave blogs and stuff when we get crumbs of content abt anything#bc the dsmp fandom has been so distant if not straight up unwelcoming in my exp on literally any platform ive tried making friends on#like shoutout to the 2 or so friends that i Kind Of made in the dsmp fandom without knowing them from the jsec first?? but fuck the dsmpf#tbfh i shouldnt still be salty about not being able to make friends for whatever reason bc most of the fandom seems so toxic anyway but#i cant help but scoff at people who are like Its So Easy To Make Friends In The Dsmp Fandom Just Do Xyz Forehead 🤪🤪#guess what my fucking guy ive done the entire alphabet and its done nothing for very close to 3 years#idk how YOU did it but it didnt work for me and ive prob done the same shit#luck or whatever i guess#anyway tldr im a little more than miffed that i can BREATHE in the jsec and everyone comes back and new people arrive from little to nothing#but try EVERYTHING for 3 years and meet like. 2 people. in the dsmp fandom. who i dont rlly even talk to much#bc i try to and its a 50/50 if that goes anywhere and i end up feeling like im just bugging them or coming off weird somehow even tho i know#im def not being weird or invasive or uncomf or smth#im very careful abt that#so yeah uh shoutout to jsec i love yall undyingly and fuck the dsmpf bc ive tried it all and even the people i HAVE made contact with i--#wouldnt call friends rlly. more like acquaintances if anything and i feel awkward as hell
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marblerose-rue · 1 year
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SHOULD i draw dove + ivy rq just so i can have something concrete of their designs on my pc
EDIT im just gonna do it it'll be super simple tho
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xo-cod · 5 months
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141 + reader
hc's when you five share the barracks together/just in general <3 (ooc, rushed my bad lmao, can be read platonically/romantically, reader is v close to them!!) kinda long oops 😩 might do a part 2 idk
nsfw version 🩷
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there's a whole lot of testosterone and musk in the air when you're sharing living spaces with 4 men ‼️
all four men compete with each other to get your attention, even if it's unknowingly
whole lotta pouting when you're spending time with more man than the other, you're a great companion ;) and the army is lonely. they all need equal love and attention
speaking of, if you're smelling like one of them the other will immediately bundle you in his arms to put his scent on you instead and to cancel out the other (alpha behaviour 😵‍💫)
whole lotta flirting from each of them. they're all very intelligent soldiers, they know exactly what to say to get you going 😙
all of them adore the height difference with you. you get teased about it relentlessly (out of love obvi)
i don't think they're particularly messy men but ghost and gaz are the most cleanest, they like having their things in order and knowing where everything is
price is next because he's slumped with being captain so you'll see a lot of his paperwork around with coffee mugs from pulling all nighters
soap is more organised mess. it might look messy to you but he knows exactly where everything is
you, soap and gaz definitely have rap battles late at night. it starts of quiet but you'll usually hear price shouting at you three from his bedroom to stfu. ghost threatens to pull a grenade if you don't be quiet
assuming you're naturally a good cook, they'd all be so appreciative :") especially on bad days, your cooking reminds each of them of home (or lack of)
face masks! gaz would 100% be down to do them with you, soap would follow next because if gaz is doing it then he too???
ghost would roll his eyes, continuing polishing his guns with a rag "you ain't putting that muck on my face"
price would just look at you, shaking his head "got too much to do, sweetness"
but you're quite the convincer and all four men are on the floor of your bedroom, gossiping about the last mission with their preferred colour of face mask across their faces
assuming you're the only woman, they get very protective when you're hurt. soldiers get hurt from time to time but its different when it's you
"you alright, bonnie?" soap's gentle voice comes through your room as he hands you a warm mug of your fave drink
gaz had you wrapped in a big fluffy blanket, gently stroking your back
"who was it?" ghost's voice is firm, wanting to know who dared injured the youngest member of their team
"already got a handle on 'em" price follows, looking at the computer. whatever enemy dared to raise their hands on wished they'd be six feet under after all four men are done with them
you're the one each man needs when they're having a particularly bad day which are usually far in few between but sometimes it happens
gaz and soap are the types to seek you out, their faces settled in a troubled frown before they place their arms around you. no questions just yet, they just want to feel skin to skin for now. keeping them grounded before they can explain what happened. they're not looking for a fixer, just someone who'll listen
ghost and price are the type to isolate themselves for a while until it's night and then you'll find them gently knocking on your bedroom door and slipping inside, between your covers. their grip is strong, burying their faces deep into your neck whilst trying to wrap his arms as much as he can. these two won't talk much either, just looking to be held and stroked to calm down
ghost and soap are the type to show affection through lingering touches while gaz and price show affections through their words.
but speaking of hugs, each of them have their own special way they like to embrace
ghost thinks he's being slick but you realise just how touchstarved he really is, he gives hugs with his arms around your shoulders bringing you in to his chest. mostly because he's tall and broad but he likes how he can manhandle you from this position and smelling your scent <3
soap's the type to tackle you in a playful hug, maybe a spin to get a laugh out of you before he gently strokes your skin for a few seconds, a gentle kiss to your temple <3
price likes to hug from behind, resting his chin on your head while he looks at what you're doing. depending on you, his big arms are either wrapped on your waist or your shoulders <3
gaz gives side hugs because he likes linking his arm around your hips and he likes how you fit snugly into his body. and this way he can lean his head against yours and can bring you in closer with his other arm <3
all four can immediately smell you before you come in because they adore whatever perfume/spray you have
each of them would absolutely melt into pieces if you joined them/kept them company in what they were doing
and if they catch you in a towel after having a shower, best believe they're quickly walking back around to where they came from to help alleviate the growing... tent in their pants
lowkey kinda pervy 🫣 (never in a harmful way)
each of them have their strong points and would 100% train you in becoming stronger
even if you're a well established soldier, they all worry for your safety
price would teach you sniper techniques, ghost teaches you combat, gaz teaches you how to sharpen your aim and soap teaches you about explosives and how to construct/dismantle each of them
they take the training very seriously with you
a ton of cursing when their fave team loses lmaoo
if you're avid tea drinker, join the gaz/ghost/price club. if you're not, join the hater club with soap <3
ghost/gaz/soap will playfully fight with you, careful not to use their full strength and not to harm you. but it's so cute to them when you're struggling a little under them.
but when price scolds them in doing so, "i'm just helping in case there's an attack!"
if you're arguing against one of them, another will come to your defence. unless you're arguing all four then it's the silent treatment from you 🤭
all four of them melt when you call them by their real name instead of their callsign :")
ghost usually comes to you when his balaclava is broken and he'll keep you company as your fingers work their magic to the fabric, gently leaning against you as you speak to him
price will let you shape up his beard after you begging to do so and he grows to enjoy those tender moments
soap definitely calls for your help to shape up his mohawk, he trusts your hand to eye coordination above anyone elses
ghost will playfully ruffle your hair whenever you both pass each other
price gives you a gentle squeeze on the shoulder
gaz gives you a soft stroke on your arm or back whenever he's passing by
soap will gently tap his head against yours, not too hard to cause pain but just enough to know that he's there
but above all, the barracks you five share is definitely a safe space for each of them the second they come through the door <333
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akihikosanada · 1 year
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finished the boys s3 last night and i have a lot of questions but not none of them are particularly good
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tgcg · 28 days
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this is my element (+ album)
asking me to pick my fave album is like asking an orphan matron to pick her favorite baby boy
thats some weird and cruel circumstances to put upon me i feel like it changes every damn week like a rota
i mean what if my beats misbehave and i gotta put 'em in time out i cant play permanent on that theyre too cute
but yknow what i can show you one thing thats been on my mind lately
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so when i was a kid we had this skateboard vid by "element skateboards" on DVD
they were this skateboard kit slash apparel company that was all about progressivism and shit and they did these much lauded comp tapes of dudes riding around on their boards and doing the dopest of macho tricks on the shit
flipping it turnways
putting the rock in the house like a big man
we had some of their merch actually
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so anyways the one we had back then was This Is My Element
released 2007
mostly clips from cali i think and i mean the camerawork is fucking insane on some of those shots
this is gonna sound lame as fuck but i prob spent so many cumulative hours just peelin through the footage and ogling the shit outta it
that framing was tight
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so you may be asking yourself or me
dave you genuine dicksucker i asked about your fav album not your favorite sordid ass display of smooth dudes hardcore riding and grinding them boards in public dude you have a problem
ok well that wasnt a question first of all so jot that down
but anyways to THAT i say
listen to the music
the whole thing has an original soundtrack of ambient beats
got some abstract hip hop jams, got some more indie stuff, lots of acoustic sampling
HELLA underground
and basically every track minus one is done by sampler beast david p. madson AKA "odd nosdam"
dude is my hero seriously
he is the master of the beat machine i shit you not hes always been kinda my idol on this stuff
aside from bro obviously
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obviously.
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anyways he had an E-mu SP-1200 which is a really oldschool sampler invented by dave rossum in the late 80s
revolutionary to the hip hop scene
nosdam had this mega distinct sound to his music that i always wanted to replicate on my own beats
still do
i dont know for sure if he used it on T.I.M.E. but he uses some of the same samples from "vol. 9" which was exclusively SP-1200 so im gonna get a lil j’accuzi on that
it couldve been a boss dr sampler SP-202 though idk
he had one of those
===
so aside from beating the shit out of the pause/resume button to flip my whole cranium at the cinematography or whatever i would also kinda play it on loop to listen to the soundtrack and space out at 2am
the lonely broner seemed to free his mind at night
ok shit broner is good but i didnt mean it like that
that was goofy lets just keep movin
it was the only way i had to listen to it back then but i mean the video is 50 mins long so its basically just an odd nosdam album with accompanying ambient skater sounds and random expletives and whatever
random car sequence
yknow what i dont think people respect enough?
the dude who catches all the "mad stunts yo" on camera
i swear to god at least half the time hes ALSO on a board and that shit is bananas to me
bros gotta be on some whole other level of zen to skate good AND catch all them glamor shots of his fellow skater
thats like an express ticket to the ER imo
the ambulance is already on the scene watching you like an eager crow watches a half dead dog
===
ok gonna go ahead and lay it out flat
not great on a board myself
kinda dogshit at it actually
so maybe im not exactly an arbitrator of skateboard heinousness
but i always kinda liked watching THEM do it i mean who doesnt?
whats an even crazier layer to stack on the "dave" cake is
and dirk told me this because unfortunately it kinda happened post-2009
he would do all these collabs with one of my childhood favorite underground rappers david cohn aka serengeti
surrounded by daves left and right dude even before all the time travel horseshit
thats like
serendipitous as fuck i think!
===
if sburb was just a revolving door of artists called dave that i could bump fists with
instead of other mes in various states of aliveness tending toward extremely dead
i wouldve probably given it something higher than 2 stars on my TGN review
===
so yeah you ask me my favorite album its T.I.M.E. by odd nosdam i guess
bump that shit on a walk your mind will go places unknown to man
748 notes · View notes
blaisegun · 3 months
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★﹐ SLYTHERIN BOYS AS YOUR NEW YEARS KISS .!
- pairing ୧ draco x gn reader , tom x gn reader , mattheo x gn reader , blaise x gn reader
- warnings ୧ none much but blaise’s was written with curly hair reader in mind. sorry blaise’s part is so long and poetic idk what happened there
- molly’s notes ୧ i only did those three cause theyre my friends’ favorite,, and ofc blaise cause hes my fave ♡ sorry if this is ooc,, i never really wrote for hp before ,,,, mattheos part is so short sorry kira
. REBLOGS R APPRECIATED!
。    ✧    ⁺     。
DRACO MALFOY
he wasnt exactly planning to give you a kiss during the fireworks but it just kinda happened. he wasnt paying much attention to the fireworks, more on your excited face. he’d look at whatever fireworks you would point out but thats it. he kept his hand on your hip, happy to just be there with you. suddenly, you thought about new year kisses and how much you want to do that with draco. “draco, lets kiss!” you giggle out loudly so he could hear you through the fireworks. you looked at you with a shocked yet confused face. he heard you but he wasnt exactly processing what you said. “what?—“ he asked before he felt your lips on his. he eventually melted into the kiss; pulling you closer into a soft hug as the fireworks drew patterns behind you two.
TOM RIDDLE
he did not plan to give you a kiss during the fireworks. he didnt really understand why you wanted to kiss so bad no matter how many times you explained it. you sighed and let it go, accepting the fact he wasnt gonna kiss you. you didnt mind too much though. you were extremely focused on the fireworks; smiling and pointing them out. tom was watching you, he didnt care much about the fireworks. he thought it was okay. he would watch for a little bit just to make you happy. but he realized it wasnt enough. he could tell you were missing something. he could see it in your eyes. you still wanted the kiss. “hey tom look at that o—!” you pointed out before getting cut off by a small peck on your lips. he gave in. he gave you the kiss. now your new year was perfect.
MATTHEO RIDDLE
he was so excited to kiss you on new years. he was so excited to spend new year with you period. he was pointing out the fireworks with you, watching them with you, doing everything with you. he was running around the place with you to look for a better view of the fireworks. you two were laughing and smiling and it was amazing. he had his phone in one hand, to make sure he can kiss you at exactly 12am, and your hand in his other. then, the clock hit. he held you up high and spun you around, his lips on yours. you were caught off guard but you were happy. the kiss felt like it lasted forever, until he broke it. “happy new year, my sweet !”
BLAISE ZABINI
he knew he wanted to kiss you, he just wanted to wait for the right moment. he wanted your new year kiss to be absolutely perfect; he only wants the best for his precious. he smiled at your excitement; his rings shimmering when the lights of the fireworks hit them. you were happy, he was happy, and that was enough for him. he had his arm wrapped around your waist. he was anxious, he had no idea when the “perfect moment” would happen. but when he saw the light from the fireworks bounce off your hair, and the happiness in your eyes, thats when he knew it was the right time. he tilted your head to face his, giving you a soft yet passionate kiss. and suddenly the world felt quiet; like the fireworks lost sound and the only thing you could focus on was the warmth in your heart. it was sweet, it was happy, it was everything you two could ever dream of. it felt like all your worries melted away. and after what felt like a life time, the kiss ended and blaise took you back down to earth. “happy new year, angel. got a kiss from your favorite loverboy, huh?”
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infrunamie · 8 months
Note
I love your yandere post omg please make more of it 😩😩😍😍😍
GOT YOU BABY AND I PRESENT TO YOU...
tags: not proofread, public groping, public hand job, reader is gn but terms cock and sir are used.
touchy!yandere who always has to have his hands on you..
touchy!yandere who always has a hand down your pants, fondling and kneading your ass. in public or private, doesn't matter to him. (an old person definitely yelled at him).
touchy!yandere whos hugging you from behind and squeezing your chest and you ignore him and pretend he's not there and continue your conversation. the other person fumbling over their words, eyes glancing down to his pouty face as he continues his assault and you with a straight face acting like it's normal. (it is.)
touchy!yandere when you bend down to tie your shoe lace, he puts his hands on your hips and thrusts you. (cue you chasing him with your shoe and him running away, laughing like a madman).
touchy!yandere if you're meeting with friends at a restaurant, he's sitting next to you running his hand up and down your thigh. at first, you pay it no mind, but then when he starts to palm your bulge, that gets your attention.
-
"what. are. you. doing?" you ask in an angry whisper, while your other friends are ordering. covering your face with your menu your eyes glare at him as he replies, "oh whatever are you talking about, [name]? he feigns ignorance, cheek propped, head tilted into the palm of his hands, a smirk laced on his (beautiful) face. you grumble, "don't play dumb with me you little-"
"and what for you, sirs?" the waiter asks. you straighten up while clearing your throat, an embarrassed flush coating your face. "we'll take the Shrimp Alfredo along with the Asparagus, please." he answers for you both. "of course, your orders will come soon."
-
a little later into your hangout and things are going great. you've caught your friends up on somethings in your life and were having a blast. until you felt that perverted hand undoing your belt, you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of making you flustered so you tried your best to listen and be engaged with your friends. once his cold hand was on your cock, you picked at your fingers on the table, eyes shut.
"are you listening, [name]?" one of your friends questioned. "yeah no of course! what you said was g-great?" you asked eyes focusing and unfocusing due to his inconsistent strokes. "I said my grandmother passed away? how is that great?" your friend gave you a concerned glance and added. "[name], are you feelin' okay?"
"yeah, [name], you don't look too well." he added, a worried glance on his face. anyone would've thought he was genuine. but you knew he was hiding a devilish grin behind that mask. "i— you! you're the—," he gripped the base of your cock tightly causing you to quickly put a hand to your mouth covering the moans threatening to escape. he put your twitching cock back in your pants and did your belt under the table.
"you know, [name] did say they were feeling under the weather before we arrived I guess I'll take them home so they can rest." he said to your friends rubbing your shoulder as an act to "soothe" you.
"I'll take them home and help them feel much better," he helped you up and just as he was about to walk away one of your friends asked, "what about your food?"
"its alright, you guys can take it home" he yelled as you guys left the store.
-
eren, KAEYA, venti, CHILDE, akira, akechi, GOJO, geto, genji, hange, KEIGO, your faves.
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pascallatte · 1 year
Text
Ay Pedritooo
Pairing: Pedro Pascal x actress!reader
Summary: Moments in which fans saw how good of a pair Pedro and Y/n is. 
Date: October 2013
Warnings: paparazzi cause they’re shit, age gap (still platonic, Are they though? 🤨), hitting
A/n: YAYYY new fic!! Posted this a little later than my usual time but at least I got to share this with you guys already. 😊
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THE OFFICIAL COMPILATION OF PEDRO PASCAL AND Y/N L/N'S MAJOR SIGHTINGS OF 2013
P.s. Not really major sightings just those of my fave Pedrito and little ducky videos and the last one cause I like what he did despite hating paps.
Vid 1: A fan run-in while buying drinks at the airport. March 2013
The video began with the camera facing the fan, who seemed to be in a state of shock. She was seen gasping and standing stiff at whatever she was seeing.
“I’m not-“ she began gulping while covering her mouth in shock. “I’m not joking guys, I’m gonna fucking cry, Im gonna,” she tells the camera while looking at the same spot since the video started.
“Guys look, look, look, look, I cannot think of anything at the moment Oh my GOD,” she says as she flips the camera and the one and only Pedro Pascal was shown.
“Ask where they’re going, you might be on the same flight.” Her friend told her jokingly to calm her down.
“ Can I? Can I go there? Can-can I say hi?” She asked before hesitating and walking closer
Her friend nudges her and brings her phone up to record and capture her friend's sudden meet and greet. As the friend was seen walking towards Pedro, Y/n was slowly entering the camera and then stood next to Pedro before pointing at something from the variety of drinks in the freezer.
“Oh my gosh! oh my gosh, they’re together!! On a trip!! Ahh, Pedro’s here what do I do” the fan ranted as she debated whether to go up to them. Seeing her friend slowly panicking she tries to calm her down and warn her, telling her to lower her voice as they were a mere 5 ft away from them so whatever she was saying can be heard. And if luck wasn’t with them, it was evident, because Y/N was seen looking behind for a bit before pulling Pedro down to whisper something. Pedro was seen ever slowly nodding before looking towards the two girls and waving, making the girls release soft shrieks that can be heard in the video.
Gathering up her confidence, the fan walked closer and asked if she can take a picture with Pedro, to which he nodded with a small smile and moved them out of the way to let other people pass. She tries to hand her phone to her friend, but since she was the one recording and her other hand was carrying their bag she can’t.
A soft, ”I can take the picture for you guys,“ was heard before the camera pans to you who was already reaching for the camera with a smile.
ahh, y/n’s so sweet, and the way she told Pedro that a fan was walking up to him. girlllll! you be doing one for us Pedro girlies to imagine stuff.
In shock both girls can only nod and before they knew it a couple of pictures were already taken. The fan was seen facing Pedro to say something to him but she froze as her mind and body still can’t process that she was seeing her idol. 
Pedro who sees her state softly asks, “Hey, hey, are you ok? You want something to drink?”. The girl was only able to respond with a nod and shaking her head sideways to answer the second question. With that, the fan leaned closer in an attempt for a hug and to her surprise Pedro accepted immediately, to show his appreciation and to calm the starstruck fan down.
You were then seen on camera once more, but this time to return the phone to the friend who was recording before approaching the pair. You were seen trying to console the fan by telling her silly things and before you know it the fan got a hold of herself and was seen thanking Pedro and you.
Pedro was seen chatting with her for a bit more before you tapped him on the shoulder and told him something. Looking back at you he looks at his watch before mouthing the words “Wait for me,” before approaching both girls.
“Sorry, but it appears that our flight had started boarding and we really don’t want to be late, so if you could please excuse us it would be great. Also, F/n, thank you for your kind words earlier it’s deeply appreciated. Hoping we can cross paths somewhere again,” he said somewhat apologetically. The girls responded with short no’s and “it’s ok, we understand, hoping to see you soon too.”
The girls waved at the pair as they leave after checking their things out.
Vid 2: fans recorded a conversation between Pedro and y/n during their first trip to Amalfi Coast. July 2013
You were both sunbathing on one of the sun loungers placed near the shore on Amalfi Coast, you are seen laying on your stomach, in a bikini, reading a magazine while Pedro was sitting up, only in some beach shorts, trying to take look at the menu.
“Y/N!” Pedro screamed at your ear to grab your attention.
Jolting up, you hit him with your magazine and switched to lay on your back instead. “Ay Pedritoooooo, ¿qué quieres?” You asked him rather bothered that he interrupted your reading time.
Huffing, he looked at you through his sunglasses before handing you the menu. “I just wanted to ask you what drink you wanted from that stall over there,” he was seen pointing to the stall just a few feet away from them.
Turning to look, you squinted as it was too bright to see things clearly. Sighing, Pedro removes his sunglasses and calls out to you again.
“Hey ducky, look here,” he said to you and as you turned you were immediately greeted with a hand on your head and glasses fixed upon your nose. With a small smile, you lean up from where you were laying, to mess up his hair.
“Ahhhh, muchas gracias,” you said affectionately.
“ No hay problema, mi patito,” he said as he nudged you with the menu once again, and this time you took it and scanned the choices.
While waiting for you Pedro decided to lay on his own sun lounger, but not even a minute has passed since he’d lay down, and a lady was seen walking towards them carrying a tray filled with snacks. As soon as she nears them she immediately calls out to him.
“Mr Pascal? Am I right?” She asks
Confused, he sat up before looking towards their visitor.
“Yes, you’re right” He started out slowly and once it was confirmed it was him, the staff placed the tray down on the table near the chairs.
“Sorry but a friend of mine, who owns the stall at the very far end of the beach front is a really big fan of yours,” she said, rather ashamedly.
“But she’s too shy to approach you herself so she told me to tell you that she’s been a big fan of yours for years and she’s wishing that she can have the strength to come up to you soon,” she continued.
A little taken aback, he can only clear his throat before replying, “Oh thank you,.... for the support I mean.” He began nervously as he looked at you who was not paying attention to what was happening.
“Yes, thank you but you guys didn’t have to bring in the snacks, that’s a little too much from your end,” Pedro added while smiling up at the lady staff.
“No no, she insisted that I bring this to you for you to have a more relaxing day and she hopes that you’ve been enjoying your stay here.”
Pedro lets out a breathy laugh before replying with a small “thank you,” as he stands up and gives the lady a handshake.
Nodding the staff looks at him before saying a quick, “ Thank you for visiting our country Mr Pascal, hope you and the little lady have an enjoyable stay.” Then leaving all of a sudden.
It was seen that you perked up as soon as you were referred to as “the little lady”, so when the lady left you looked at Pedro, mouth agape.
“I’m a little what now?” You said confused.
Pedro began laughing at that and replied with a loud “Little Lady!! She called you a little lady HAHAHA”
“I mean she’s not wrong you are little, just not a lady.” he continued
Gasping loudly, you hit him again but this time with the menu, “If I’m not a lady then what am I??” You said with a small pout.
Laughing he pinched your pout, “ a duck, y/n, you are a little duck.”
You tried to look mad and offended but that didn’t last long because as soon as he cracked a small smile, both of you broke into a laughing mess.
Pedro was seen leaning down to rest his head on your stomach while being sat at the opposite sun lounger. You were still laughing when he did that so you opted on resting the menu on top of his head. That continued to be your position for a good minute and a half until you calmed down. You were seen ruffling his hair to make him look up at you before pointing to the menu in hand. 
excuse me! !Mr. Pedro Pascal, what in the heavens am I watching. The glasses, the Spanish conversation, the nicknames, the position they are in, don’t tell me this is just to fill in a person’s physical touch need cause ahhh I can’t talk right now. And y/n living every Pedro girlies dream right now!!!! Also, the staff calling y/n a little lady, when she didn't recognize her.
“I’ll probably just have my usual, thank you for asking me though,” you said to him.
“Okayyyyy, buutttt,” he paused as he moved closer, “to spice things up I'm going to get you something they recommend, how ’bout that?” He said teasingly.
A combined snort and giggle were heard from you before you pushed him away.
“Why’d you ask me to choose then??” You asked with your eyes peering up at him as he stood up.
“I don’t know just wanted to ask you in case you liked something different, but you didn’t so I’m gonna do it for you,” he said full of confidence.
Pretending to be annoyed you hit him once again before giving up, “fine, just make sure it tastes good alright?”
In feigned offence it was his turn to ruffle up your hair, “Of course!!! I know what you like remember, I’ll just choose something I think you’d like don’t worry.”
You were seen nodding in response before Pedro was seen putting on a shirt and then walking towards the stall.
From afar, it was seen that a few bystanders, surely fans, approached Pedro for some pictures and autographs.
Pedro is that one sibling that asks if you own the snacks in the cabinet only telling you that they ate them already, but Pedro’s not really giving sibling vibes if you guys get me. is it just me but I find it weird and a little creepy that someone was able to record this whole video and post it online without being spotted, like ever.
Vid 3: Pedro was caught by paps outside of a restaurant. September 2013
The flashing of camera lights are what greeted Pedro as soon as he stepped out of the restaurant. Putting on a smile, the politely waved while lengthening his steps for him to reach his car at a faster time. But that was deemed impossible as the paps blocked his only path towards it.
Softly sighing to hide his annoyance he looked at them saying, “good evening, if you might create a path for me to walk through it would be appreciated,” as he tried to make way for himself.
“Sorry guys but I don’t want to be late for this, I really have to go. Come back another time.” He said as he found a space he can pass through.
The majority of the paps let him pass but a couple of them continued to trail him towards his car, bombarding him with questions along the lines of “why are you in such a hurry?” “you just have to answer some questions for us.” “Pedro, Pedro, Look here!!”
I fucking hate paps, but this video is only here cause he looked good, he was kind enough to entertain them after he was bombarded, and that look on his face when the reporter asked about the beach trip video.
Sighing for the nth time that night, he stopped and told them that he would ask a few questions before having to leave. The paparazzi nodded enthusiastically at that and began asking him simultaneously.
“Pedro!! Here, is a question. Why is it that you’re alone for dinner tonight? You’re usually seen with a friend or family what’s up?” The man asked loudly
Looking at the man he shook his head before answering, “I’m assuming the friend you’re asking about is either Sarah or y/n and all I can say is that-uh, their both busy, as well as I am and me being alone doesn’t really mean anything.” 
“Here!! Look here,” the lady said with great effort. Looking to his left, he found the woman before nodding. “Pedro speaking of Y/n, have you heard of the rumours surrounding the both of you?”
And that caught his attention. It wasn’t that they were both inactive on the "World Wide Web", it’s just that they don’t really spend that much time searching themselves up just to find made-up stories and theories under their name.
Squinting his eyes he looked straight at her before asking “What rumors are you talking about?”
The paparazzi boomed at that question each of them answering the question on their own. Shushing the others he urged the woman to speak.
“ As I was saying, the rumours. The rumours that you guys are dating. It started after your trip to the Amalfi coast, a few months back. What can you say about that?”
With a knowing look on his face, Pedro can only shrug before moving on to another question. After entertaining a final question, he then ran to his car and drives away as soon as it started. Leaving the paparazzi with their own interpretations and theories on his answers and reactions.
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A/N: Last compilation, for now, will post individual stories in the following days. also sorry for my shit Spanish, my dad did tell me I don't count as Latina cause I can't speak it for my life. Oh also let me know if you guys want a background check on y/n, it will also help you guys understand some points that were and are to be stated. don't be shy to message!!🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
1K notes · View notes
cosmicstarlatte · 1 year
Text
Coconut (Obey Me!)
━━━━━━━━━━ ✦ ━━━━━━━━━━
You got a coconut and need help opening it. You decide to ask your favorite guy. Does he fail or succeed?
»Characters: Demon Bros + Dateables
»Tags: Shitpost, Humor, Mammon's At It Again, Levi Is My Fave
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Lucifer:
"Hand it over."
He's heard of coconuts but never seen one up close
Gently tosses it in his hand for a feel
Hmph this will be easy
ItWasNot.png
Had to pull out the old worst cursed magic he could think of
It didn't work
The many cursed tools in the dungeons also didn't work
Sweating angry mess...how's it not open!?
Angrily chucks it through the wall
It knocked out a poor unsuspecting Levi
"I will get you literally anything else you desire that's not that."
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Mammon:
"Why's it furry?"
"What do ya mean you're s'pose to eat it?"
He didn't understand why you wanted this thing but he wasn't going to let his human down
Got upset that his attempts did nothing, however he hatched an idea
Got a booth at the carnival
"Pay up and test ya strength! How tough are ya!? HEY YOU! YOU'RE NOT A WIMP ARE YA?"
After hundreds of tries from monsters and demons, the coconut finally split open
He brought it back to you (wearing new bling and all)
"The Great Mammon never disappoints! Also...can ya get me more of 'em?"
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Levi:
"Wooaahh a coconut!? I've seen these in so many anime beach episodes!"
The otaku was excited you came to him for help!
He was going to get it open one way or another!
He tried for an hour before sending you off
"I'll come find you when I open it!"
It would be years before he returns
(You lived in the Devildom after the program)
He journeyed through the Devildom in search of knowledge for his quest
He developed surprising friendships, suffered painful losses, but also discovered a new meaning to life
He did eventually find a way to open the coconut
He came back home wizard style
"I bring you that of which you requested"
"Levi no one knew where you went, you were just gone! We were worried!"
"I got your coconut open though! Quest complete!"
He thought the hugs and kisses from you were worth it, the coconut must've meant a lot to you!
I love him so much yall
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Satan:
"A coconut? I've only ever read about them. Bring it here."
Gave it a few curious knocks
This will be easy 2.0
Tried to peel it and saw it did nothing
Tried to karate chop it, still nothing
He chuckled and a black aura surrounded him
I see.
He tried punching it and then clawing at it for a while
There is no god, just nothingness
He lost his shit in demon form
His rampage destroyed a chunk of the house
Coconuts are no longer allowed at the House of Lamentation
Like you can't even say the word coconut
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Asmo:
"What is that?"
He did not want to touch whatever that thing was
He saw the disappointed look in your face and changed his mind
He tried to break it open in half with his bare hands but it was futile
Why is this thing so tough?
He was not having it, he was going to open your precious coconut!
"MAMMON!"
He could only think of one other way
A grumbling Mammon appeared
"Just stand there a second will you?"
He knocked the coconut against his head (HEY!) and the coconut split open!
It did break one of his manicured nails though but he thought the happiness on your face was worth it
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Beel:
"Did you bring more?" (You did)
Was excited to try a human world fruit
Tried to break it in half with his hands
Was surprised when it didn't...but no worries!
He briefly bared his fangs and gave a sharp bite
It made a little opening and he was then able to split it with his hands
He was happy trying something new with you and was excited for future recipes
Yeah...no struggles here ajsjdlgkskdldk
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Belphie:
"Huh? You want me to open that?"
He was surprised but flattered you'd go to him
He wasn't even sure what that thing was
He tried to strangle it but just couldn't get it to open
Then he tried to threaten it
Still didn't work
Was exhausted at this point and thought a well deserved nap was needed
You found him clinging to the coconut like a plushie
You never got it back
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Diavolo:
"Oh what a cute little silly fruit!"
He thought it looked precious!
Of course he would open it for you!
After a few minutes of trying to get the thing open, he was getting flustered
This can't be from the human realm? It's...it's diabolical!
He gave a sad pout and tried a *different* approach
"Please little one, open up will you?" He politely begged the unforgiving fruit
It magically split open and he triumphantly gave you your coconut back!
...Still not sure how that works but it's probably just... a Dia thing LMAO
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Barbatos:
"I would be happy to. Although can you pick it up in say 30 min? I have another task to attend to."
He traveled to the human realm and picked up some chopped coconut and fresh coconut juice for you
He's a demon of many talents
He's also a demon of many secrets
He's never mastered the art of opening human world coconuts but he wasn't going to let you or anyone else know that!
He gave you a beautifully arranged plate and fancy jar
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Simeon:
"I can try."
He knew of coconuts but never touched one
He tried knocking it a few times but it didn't work
He tried to remain calm as he tried a few other methods
Burn it. Burn it Simeon.
No just ignore the voice
After one more attempt he lost his cool
He had quite a colorful vocabulary
Threw dangerous celestial magic spears at the indestructible fruit
Luke freaked out and knocked him out in panic
Luke was quite frightened and didn't trust coconuts after Simeons rage
Simeon hates when they refer to it as The Incident™️
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Solomon:
"Sure! I will handle it."
He's opened a few in his lifetime
He found a way to get it open every time!
He gingerly touched the coconut
So we meet again
He took the coconut and chucked it fiercely against the wall
He smirked at the small shattered pieces
He thought back on the first coconut he ever had the displeasure of meeting...he will never be made a fool again
You decided to buy coconut juice instead
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»Note: Imagine you ask Belphie to open a banana and he just immediately strangles the thing, like is that just how he opens things?? Yep, a new headcanon acquired!
⬦You might also like: Mexican Restaurant︱Waffle House︱Devil-Mart⭐
2K notes · View notes
megamindsecretlair · 2 months
Text
Mr. Black, Part 6
Pairing: Tre x Assistant!Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader
Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. FLUFF. FILTH. PWP, cursing, PIV, fingering (fem receiving), oral (male and fem receiving) , spanking, dirty talk, praise kink, mentions of female anatomy, dumbass reader, power imbalance, Tre is a boss, all consensual.
Summary: Tre has an unexpected surprise for you that leads to even more conversations about...whatever the hell this is between you. You do end up loving the surprise and you get a bigger peak inside that gorgeous head of his.
Word Count: 10,614k
A/N: I promise not all of my fics will be this long moving forward! This was the most self-indulgent fic I've ever written and it healed something in me LOL. As an update, I had Covid this past week and I'm just getting my strength back. Please be kinder to your faves! I am over the moon that you enjoy my works and look forward to the next chapter, but let's keep it cute. My family are my opps and do not like to see me happy. If ya'll only knew what I had to endure writing this...These updates will take time. And I'm doing this for free! This is a hobby! I'm not a smut machine. Let's stay mindful of that. To prove you actually read this far, put your fave fruit in the comments! Please, please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers! And please put ages in bios! Or get blockt!
Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 7 | Part 8 - Completed
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The week between Christmas and New Year’s was a lawless haze spent mostly in Tre’s bed. You hadn’t seen your place all week and it should bother you. There was no mention of it. There was no conversation to be had. He just kept inviting you back to his place and you kept saying yes. 
He got you a hygiene kit complete with a Coach bag to put it in. You told him you could just pack something from your place, but he wouldn’t hear of it. You had your very own electric toothbrush sitting on his sink.
Every time you went to the bathroom, you stared at the thing as if it could come alive at any moment. It was a courtesy thing, nothing more. It didn’t mean you were moving in. You were quickly realizing that Tre might’ve lacked proper social skills. With all his big talk, he lacked the cues necessary to clue you into whatever the fuck was going on with him. 
He couldn’t possibly think that he could get you a hygiene kit, keep pajamas over - not that you used them much - and you would just smile and wave and move into his fucking house?! 
The past week, he had kept you in a near-permanent sex fog. He still ate you out at work, stating that he simply liked the taste of you on his tongue while he dealt with the company hemorrhaging money at an alarming rate. He told you that your sweet taste made dealing with idiot managers worth every solid minute.  
He still had you suck him off in the morning, stating that he loved nothing more than pumping you full of him to start your day. He was able to work harder and smarter with empty balls and thoughts of what he was going to do to you later at his place. 
There wasn’t enough time to really talk. There was this burning obsession with each other that didn’t seem to let up as the week went on. Every time you finished having sex, you wanted to crawl under his skin and do it all over again. You couldn’t get him out of your system. In between sex marathons, him cooking, and your conversations about interests, there wasn’t enough time to discuss the whole…headband situation. 
You sat at your desk presently and your eyes kept flickering towards the front of the building. You couldn’t see much past the desks and chairs. The thought of Miss Headband returning made you ill. You were comfortable with the knowledge that Tre was yours in whatever capacity this was, but uncomfortable that Brianna thought she could walk in whenever she wanted.
What stopped any of his other conquests from walking through the door? Or calling you to set up dick appointments with him? You hadn’t been working for him long but you wouldn't be surprised if he had past assistants schedule such things. 
Your nails tapped on your desk. Your jealousy was showing. And it didn’t suit you well to show it at work where anyone could see. You needed to put an end to the uncertainty. If Tre had a black book, he needed to burn it right this second. He wasn’t going to need it anymore. 
Panic was a funny thing. Sometimes, it felt like a bubbling pot of oil sludging through your veins. Sometimes, it felt like a thousand tiny insects with wings fluttering beneath your skin. You felt a mixture of both as you checked your mental status.
Maybe Tre was rubbing off on you too much. Your friends had said you were turning distant lately. You usually told them everything, but how did you even begin to describe what the hell this was? 
It started off as something hot and naughty between you and your boss. Everyone had that fantasy right? Being railed against an office desk until your eyes were crossing and you were screaming in pleasure? 
All your life, you thought there was a schedule and order to these things. You meet a man, you go on a few dates, you explore interests together, and you date some more. You meet the friends and get their stamp of approval. Then it’s the family’s turn. You move in with each other to see if you could cohabit a space together. Perhaps get an animal together to see if you can take care of a living thing as a  precursor to kids. Then, there’s some wholly romantic and unique proposal with the help of your friends or family. A wedding, a honeymoon, boom, pop out some kids and build a life together. 
This was so fuckin’ backwards, you  didn’t know where to start besides him swatting your ass. There have been no dates, just earth-shattering, world-ending orgasms, a few items at his place, and you left in a perpetual state of what-the-fuck? 
Order and schedules made sense to you. It kept you on track. This…was messy as hell. 
You sighed audibly and rubbed your head. It was too much thinking and it was giving you a fuckin’ headache. 
“What’s wrong?” 
You yelped and jumped in your seat. The chair went rolling to the left as you looked to the right to see Tre half sitting on your desk. Where the fuck did he come from?
“You scared the hell outta me!” You placed your hand against your chest to see how fast it was going. 
“Maybe you should stop daydreaming at work,” he said with that damn smirk on his face. 
You rolled your eyes. “I wasn’t daydreaming, I was thinking,” you told him.
He sighed audibly and hung his head. “Nothing good ever comes from you overthinking,” he said.
“Shut up. It’s not overthinking. Logic calms me down,” you said.
His smirk returned. “I can think of something else that’ll calm you down,” he said.
“Shh!” You looked around the empty office. It was lunchtime and sunny outside, so everyone went out to the food trucks to take advantage of the warm weather. Still, you had to be cautious from anyone who might overhear. 
You moved to stand up but Tre blocked your path. “Not hungry?” You asked.
Tre smiled and looked off into the distance. He took a few steadying breaths and looked back at you. “Got you on a schedule already,” he said.
Now it was your turn to look away with a goofy grin on your face. His words brought to mind something Brianna mentioned. 
“Hey, what did Brianna mean by 'training me’?” You asked.
“I’ll explain all that. First, let’s go. We’re gonna be late,” he said. 
“Late for what?” You asked. You turned to your computer, bringing up his schedule. The weekend had been blocked out without you noticing. He had no meetings or calls set up. “What is this?” 
You clicked through the change history but Tre put his hand over yours to stop you. “It’s okay, I handled it.” 
“Handled it? I’m the one that handles your schedule! When did you do this?” You asked. You literally had one job and you were too distracted this week to notice that he had been shuffling and moving things around. 
You tried to picture him being sneaky and dealing with other assistants while he moved meetings. You pictured getting a random call from someone with a voice like his. A voice made for phone sex and your panties were already growing damp thinking about it. Yeah, he could finagle his way through just about anything if he had half a mind. 
“Come on!” He grinned and pulled you from your seat. You had just enough time to grab your purse. He held your hand as he pulled you through the empty office. Panic jumbled your nerves. Instead of pulling you to the front of the building where the food trucks were, he pulled you to the back of the building.
You knew there was a back of the building, conceptually, but you didn’t know there was an entrance this way. You were hired in the mix of things and you didn’t get an official tour before diving in and picking up the slack. 
There was nobody back here as he swiped his badge and you were let out into a parking lot. It was small, filled with only a few expensive cars. 
“You have a private parking area? Ya’ll suck,” you giggled. 
Tre tugged you towards his car. You weren’t good with car brands but you were pretty sure it was a Lexus SUV. He opened the door for you and motioned for you to get in. 
“What about my car?” You asked.
“I took care of it,” he said with that damn smile. 
“What the hell is going on?” You asked. You placed your hands on your hips and faced him completely. 
Instead of answering, Tre looked at his watch. “You have about two minutes before the other managers pull in and see you hopping in my car. I’m sure they will have thoughts about it,” he said.
Your fear of being discovered was greater than your need for knowledge. You could needle him in the car. You hopped inside with his help and then he closed the door with instructions to put your seatbelt on. You rolled your eyes and did it, not because he said so, but because it was sensible. 
Tre rounded the front of the black truck and hopped in himself. He sighed with a smug smile on his face and started the car. His windows were tinted well past the legal limit. But you had a feeling he just didn’t give a shit. 
He pulled out of the parking lot just as a smaller sedan was pulling in. You sank down in the seat but Tre only chuckled at you. Clear of the parking lot, he swiftly pulled onto the freeway.
“Okay, I’m in the car. What the hell is going on?” 
“You know, you’re cute as hell when you’re confused. You get a little crinkle in your nose,” he said. He sped up on the mostly clear freeway and you narrowed your eyes at him. 
“You’re not going to tell me no matter how many times I ask, huh?” You asked.
He grinned and flicked his eyes to you. “Look at you catching on,” he said.
You growled and folded your arms across your chest. You turned away from him as much as you could in the seat and looked outside the window at the passing cars and freeway signs. You could tell that you were heading North but anything could be North. 
“I promise you’ll like the surprise,” he said.
“I don’t like not knowing what’s going on,” you said.
“I know. I’ll break you of that,” he said.
“Excuse me?” You flipped your head to look at him but he kept his eyes trained on the road. One hand was on the steering wheel and he slowly inched his other hand towards your thigh. He squeezed the bare skin, his pinkie lightly grazing your pink dress. 
You hated that your body reacted instantly. Your pussy fluttered and you were going to be damp in a minute thinking about that hand and all the nasty things he’s done so far. 
“I don’t repeat myself,” he said. 
You could be petty and point out that he’s repeated some things to you. But if he wanted to keep up his little fantasy, you weren’t going to cure him of it. As much as you liked to test his boundaries, you still had handprints on your ass from the last time you tried to get cute. 
You focused on just being able to breathe while his thumb rubbed your left thigh. Soft music played in the car, low enough to not be annoying, but high enough to get the general rhythm. 
The sights turned more industrial as you headed towards…LAX? Was he taking you to the fucking airport? 
He got off the ramp for it, circling around, and headed towards the entrance on Century. He joined the congested traffic as he took the ramp to departures. 
You huffed in disbelief. “You have to be joking. Where are we going? I haven’t packed, I haven’t got any supplies, I haven’t told anyone. I can’t–” 
“I had a lovely chat with your friend, Ka’ron, the other day. She’s a little mad you didn’t tell her about me. I’ll admit, I was a little hurt too,” he said. He talked as he maneuvered around the insane traffic at LAX. It was like people lost all sense of decorum at the airport. People weaved in and out with little regard to who was behind or beside them. They had no idea which terminal to get to or realize that they couldn’t park at the curb forever.
Buses and shuttles ran through the inner road of the airport. You still hated that they changed the flow of traffic. It seemed much more dangerous to have you stand at the outer curb to be picked up. And the construction for the incoming train was plain annoying. 
“You talked to Ka’ron?!” You screeched. Too many questions flowed through your head. How did he get her number? What did he even tell her? What the hell was this? 
“I told her that I wanted to surprise you with a trip and after she got done laughing at the surprise part, she helped me pack your bags this week.” 
Your eyes bugged out of your head. Your friend was going to murder you. After she got done begging for every last scrap of detail she could get out of you, she was going to murder you for not telling her sooner. 
“You have crossed so many–” 
“I also bought you new travel bags. I didn’t care that they didn’t match, but they were really raggedy,” he said. He pulled into long-term parking, grabbing a ticket from the kiosk, and the metal arm raised. He pulled in and began the search for a good spot. 
Gurgles of sounds escaped your throat but you couldn’t form a single sentence. Were you having a heart attack? Aneurysm? Were your blood vessels popping at this very instant? 
“She helped me find your passport,” he said. He turned and backed into the parking space.
In the middle of your meltdown, you could appreciate the slip of skin at his neck as he looked backwards to park. It was somehow hotter that he didn’t solely rely on the back-up camera. You’d dreamt of that open collar enough times to call yourself a stalker at this point. 
“Passport?!” Where the hell was he taking you? You weren’t going to say no to a free fucking trip. You weren’t that dumb. It was…the lack of consideration that bugged you. The fact that he’d been planning and plotting while he had you twisted up in all kinds of shapes no human body was meant to be contorted into. 
Or perhaps…it was a control thing. You were without an anchor or foothold in this. You didn’t see this coming at all. You had no say over where you were going, when you were leaving, when your friends would know about him, what they would know about him, what you would wear, or do. It was beyond unnerving. 
Tre shut off the car and got out, leaving no room for you to ask a thousand questions. You were still in your office attire for fuck’s sake? Not the most comfortable traveling outfit. There was no way in hell you were going through TSA in fucking heels. 
He rounded the car and opened your door for you, letting you out with a smug wink. He really didn’t see anything wrong with whisking you off to some exotic place without a conversation first. Had there been even a tiny ounce of communication beforehand, you wouldn’t be quite so shocked and pissed. 
Next, Tre went to the trunk and lifted the door, pulling out a rose gold London Fog suitcase and a complementary Coach duffle bag. Your mouth dropped open. It was so gorgeous, you drooled a bit as he pulled out his own black suitcase and duffle bag. He moved both to the side and then handed you a more personal bag.
“Move your things from your purse to that. We’ll put your purse in the trunk,” he said. You stared at him like he was some alien with four heads. 
He smiled and stepped closer to you, pulling you by the hips flush against him. You refused to give him any indication that this shit was okay. But he kissed your forehead, then your cheek, and pecked your lips. 
“Trust me. It’ll be good,” he said. 
You pressed your lips together and decided to surrender for the time being. Your boss…lover…boyfriend…was taking you somewhere and you didn’t have to lift a finger. There were worse arguments to be had. 
The personal bag looked like a smaller version of the duffle. You ran your hands over the soft fabric filled with tiny C’s and then opened it. Inside, there was your Kindle, various meds you may need, head scarf, sleep mask, and ear pods. There was also a brand new matching wallet that you transferred your ID and cards to. This whole thing was absurd but you let yourself enjoy it. 
Once done, he took your purse and placed it in the trunk in an innocuous box and closed it. “We’ll change in the lounge,” he said.
Your eyes bugged out again but he wasn’t going to answer a single fucking question so you let him grab your bags and walked over to the bridge connecting you to the terminal. There, he wheeled your bags to the check in counter. He pulled out both of your passports and handed them over to the agent.
She was an attractive Black woman with her hair pulled into a bun. She openly ogled your man so you moved next to him and peered over his shoulder. “Make sure I have the window seat, baby. You know I like to look outside when we take off,” you said and grinned at him, not looking at the woman at all.
Tre smirked down at you. He placed his hand on the small of your back and leaned down to kiss your cheek and then whispered in your ear. “You’re so sexy when you’re jealous.” 
The woman cleared her throat and finished taking the necessary steps to check in your suitcases with a much better, more professional attitude. You made sure to smile and thank her while he grabbed your duffle bags and personal bag from the counter. He scooped up your passports and tickets and tucked them into his bag. Then, he grabbed your hand and you moved on to the security line.
Getting through that was a headache all on its own, but once through, Tre pulled you towards a lounge. You knew they existed, you just never had the luxury of being inside one. It was quiet with muted lighting and a bar area where people sat for drinks and the latest game on TV. 
As he said, there were bathrooms and he told you there was a travel outfit in your bag. You stood in the fancy bathroom, half-giggling like a madwoman as you changed out of your dress into more comfortable clothing. You now had on black leggings, tennis shoes, a loose gray shirt, and a light gray sweater. That had been most of the bulk in your duffle, so you had room to fold up your dress. The heels were a bit of a problem, but that was okay. If they got messed up, you were making him buy you a new pair. And you’d only feel slightly guilty about it. 
After dressing, you went out into the lounge area. You skipped over Tre twice, not because you didn’t recognize him, but because you were surprised to see him outside of formal wear. Sure, you’d seen him lounge at home in his briefs, or the pajamas he wore to cook, but you had never seen him out and about in his element.
He wore black, of course, but it was a black Henley T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up, black jeans, black boots, and his glasses. He looked good enough to fucking eat and you had to stop just outside the door to admire how hot he was.
He was looking down at his phone so he hadn’t seen you walk out. But as if you were linked, he looked up at that moment and grinned. You walked over to the bar area and he grabbed your bags from you.
He grabbed your hands and opened them so he could take in your outfit. “You look so fucking gorgeous,” he said. 
“You clean up pretty well yourself,” you said. 
He held out the bar stool for you and helped you settle in. There was already a strawberry margarita sitting there for you and you sipped it, letting the frozen treat relax you. “Our plane leaves in an hour so you have time to finish,” he said.
“Any hint to where we’re going?” You asked.
He shrugged and sipped on his whiskey. “You’ll see at the gate,” he said.
“The only thing you can’t hide from me,” you said.
He grinned. “I could if I really wanted to. Make you wear your earphones the whole trip.” 
“I can see the board,” you said. 
“Not if I didn’t want you to,” he said.
You threw up your hands. “You know how insane this is right? Calling my friend, planning this behind my back, ambushing me in the middle of the work day? Where do people think you are?” 
“I am on my way to a conference for potential clients. Since I’m such an awesome boss, I gave you the weekend to spend with your family,” he said.
“No one’s going to buy that,” you said with a giggle. You wouldn’t buy that shit if you heard it. 
“They have no proof to the contrary. I know my methods are off, but I know a few ways you can thank me on the plane. I always wanted to join the mile high club,” he said and eyed your outfit. “Maybe we should’ve gone with something easier to take off.”
You slapped his thick arm. “Not on your life,” you said. The tips of your ears burned just thinking of it. Those tiny ass bathrooms ensured there was no way two people could fit. And you were not sucking him off in first class. He was too damn big for any other seating. 
He chuckled and sipped more of his drink. You talked more with him pointedly ignoring your questions until he looked at his watch. He grinned, that wide smile melting your insides, as he grabbed your things and took your hand.
The casual way he touched you, openly, in the airport where everyone was anonymous was a balm to your spirit. You didn’t know you needed this…validation of the two of you. You didn’t care what people thought of you to the extent that you were together. You were more concerned about office politics. If you wanted to be taken seriously, you couldn’t let the office gossips think you were sleeping your way to the top. 
Out in the open like this, you felt excited to be the one holding his hand while he guided you through the chaos of the airport. He walked leisurely to your gate. You frantically searched the boards for destinations. These were all domestic flights to the East Coast. Atlanta, New York, Chicago…
He stopped at a gate going to Miami. You eyed him as he took up a place near the gate. They were beginning to call for your group. 
“Now boarding first class to Jamaica, with a stop in Miami. Now boarding…” 
“Jamaica?!” You whispered to him and he grinned down at you. 
He squeezed your hand as he moved you in line, handing the agent your tickets, and then pulling you down the tunnel. You had no room to talk as he placed your bags in the overhead bin and you settled into the nicer seats in first class. For once, your big ass fit comfortably in the seat with enough foot room to swing your feet. 
Shit, after flying like this, you might have to do it all the time and leave your friends in economy. You were all going to the same place, you didn’t have to sit next to each other. The flight attendant asked if you wanted a drink as more people got onboard. You accepted a tequila neat and settled into your seat, wiping everything down with cleanser wipes you found in your personal bag. Your girl really fucking knew you.
“Bougie looks good on you,” he said as he watched you. 
“Shut up! I’m gonna enjoy the fuck out of this. When are we coming back?” You asked.
“Tuesday night,” he said. 
You couldn’t help looking outside, looking at the people who passed. You didn’t want to contain your excitement. As the boarding ended and the plane began to taxi down the runway, Tre settled in his seat and tapped your arm to get your attention.
“Why haven’t you told your friends about us?” He asked.
He wanted to discuss that now? “And say what? ‘Hey guys, what’s new with me? Well, my boss has been blowing my back out for the past few weeks?’” You whispered so everybody in first class wouldn’t hear your business.
He scrunched up his face. “It’s not official until your friends know. And I’m not just your boss,” he said. 
You threw up your hands. “What else am I supposed to call you?” 
“Your boyfriend?” Tre asked as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 
“Boyfriend! That’s what you are?” You asked. 
The captain started speaking about preparing for liftoff, so you were spared a few moments as the flight attendants came around to collect trash and remind you about the trays. 
The plane took off and Tre never stopped looking at you. As it ascended, he leaned in so he could be heard over the roar of the engines and mounting pressure. 
“That’s exactly what I am. And I want you to tell them about me,” he said. 
You looked at him. He was serious about this shit. You didn't know what to say or what to call him. You guessed it was the logical step after declaring “you’re mine” while hopping on his dick. You licked your lips and nodded. “You’re my boyfriend. I’ll tell them when we land,” you said. 
He smiled and sat back in his seat as if it had been eating at him. The tension left his shoulders. When the plane leveled out, the flight attendants came around with warm peanuts and drinks. You got some water to balance the drinks you’d had. 
The plane ride to Miami was comfortable now that Tre decided to relax. You were able to joke with him about the book he chose to read while you whipped out your Kindle and awkwardly told him about the filthy book you were reading. You had a brief layover once you got to Miami. You collected shot glasses for your friends. 
The plane ride to Jamaica was smooth. You were flying into the night but the sight as you descended still stole your breath. The water was a mix of cerulean and true blue, with scores of seaweed you could see from the plane. The island didn’t look all that big flying overhead, but the hills were wide and varied in height. 
The plane had to turn to land into the small ass runway and you were half concerned as the captain easily guided the plane onto it. You rolled into the gate and Tre helped bring your bags down. 
The airport itself smelled like Shea butter and breezy sandy beaches and you inhaled deeply. You had traveled all over the world at this point with your girls. Hitting up spots in Europe and Mexico, but there was something so amazing about landing in a place with people that looked like you.
Everywhere you went, there was another Black face to greet you. There were fans up high blowing hot wind at you but to you, it was perfect. As you got off the plane, there was a man standing there with Tre’s name. He walked you past the long line to the left for regular people.
That line was long and looked unbearably hot as people stood there trying to get through customs. You assumed the young man was a driver with his company shirt and shorts on. You never saw anything like it. He guided you through the lane to the right, going down a ramp, and turning into a much shorter customs line. The agent at the gate checked in your passports, stamping them, asking routine questions.
Through, the driver stood off to the side while you waited for the bags. There were gorgeous Jamaican women with red outfits on helping people find their carousel and telling you to settle in for a long wait because they were slow. 
The accents were the best part. It sounded like coming home. A deep, ancient knowing made you feel at home here than you ever did in the States. Tre grabbed your bags from the carousel since they came out among the first bags. The driver took it from him and led you out of the busy airport.
There were just…Black people everywhere. For once, you didn’t feel like an oddball out when you traveled. Seeing Black faces was the norm. The driver took you through the final screening, handing over a form Tre filled out while on the plane. Then, you were out of the baggage claim area where even more people congregated. Bus drivers were trying to find people to scoop up, taxi drivers did the same, and there were so many guides waving signs for tours.
Outside, the air was balmy but comfortable and the driver led you to his car. There was nothing fancy about it, but you climbed in all the same while Tre talked with him. Then you were off.
You had to keep pinching yourself. Jamaica was gorgeous. The rolling grassy hills were interrupted by pockets of communities. You passed by signs of colonization. Plazas, houses, Popeyes. You giggled and pointed it out to Tre who just smiled like you were the most adorable thing on the planet.
It still blew your mind that he wanted to be your boyfriend. It seemed so high school the way you felt about it. But it felt right so you decided to go with the flow. By the time you made it to the adults only resort, you were absolutely tired. Tre told you to sit in the waiting area while he handled everything. 
In no time, you were showering in your suite still pinching yourself that this was actually happening. You had dinner, buffet style, and enjoyed part of that evening’s entertainment. There was live music and a dancing troupe that you half paid attention to. Now, you just wanted to crawl into bed but you still had so many questions.
You let Tre see your text message as you texted your friends that you arrived safely with your boyfriend. You had landed and your phone dinged immediately upon turning on. Ka’ron told your entire friend group that not only were you getting regular dick, you had been whisked away on a fancy trip on some real movie type shit. 
But Tre didn’t look satisfied with what you said. So you made him take a photo with you with the amazing view in the background. You confirmed that he was a sex god and you would give all the nasty details when you got back. He was much happier about the photo and asked you to send it to him. 
He was so…domestic and it was freaking you the fuck out. You didn’t have the energy to bombard him with millions of questions. He tucked you into bed and then you were drifting off to sleep, trying to remember everything you wanted to ask him. 
The next day, after breakfast, you took a look around the resort and everything it had to offer. There were multiple pools and a small beach area where you could go and relax. The resort had towels and pool equipment for you, but it was tied to your room number. If you didn’t return it when you were done, then it would be charged to your room. 
Ka’ron didn’t steer you wrong with the outfits she chose for the trip. All light, lounge wear that fit easily over skimpy bathing suits your friends made you buy. You had no intention of actually wearing them. But that was all she packed and the look on Tre’s face was worth it.
He was content to walk around like everything was fine, but your questions were burning you from the inside out. Worse than the damn sun. This was their milder season so you knew it could have been much, much worse. But the UV index was much higher so you stayed spraying on your sunscreen. 
You held hands and stopped at some of the gift shop areas spread around. There was an ice cream shop that sold coffee and meat pies. You got ice cream while Tre went for coffee. But his entire focus was on you licking your spoon.
You began to do it deliberately slowly, licking every inch. You put the end in your mouth and slowly withdrew it while keeping your eyes on him. Your body heated up from the way his eyes were trained on your lips. He caught every movement and swipe of your tongue across your lips to lick it up.
Tre grabbed your ice cream cup and threw it away. “Hey! I wasn’t finished!” You complained.
“I’ll buy you another one,” he said. The ice cream was “free” due to the all-inclusiveness of the resort package but you weren’t going to split hairs. Here, you and Tre were always on the same page. 
Your body responded to him like it had never done in the past with previous lovers. You felt him on a cellular level as your swimsuit grew damp from your arousal. He pulled you to the elevator and your room, barely opening the door before pulling you inside and slamming you up against the door. 
His lips crashed into yours, desperate and needy. Moans escaped you even as his beard tickled your face. You just wanted more. You pulled at his shirt and pants, undressing him just as he undressed you. He turned you around, pressing your chest against the door. He kissed your neck as he untied your top and lowered your bottoms. 
Your chest was still pressed to the door so your top didn’t fall just yet. Tre’s warm hand on your back prevented you from moving. He stepped closer and you felt the heat of his chest scald your back.
You trembled in the doorway. You wanted to see him and touch him too. But he only slipped his right hand around your hips to spread your pussy lips apart. You hissed as his fingers connected with your clit.
You felt him smile against your neck. “Already wet for me, little one?” 
Your head thumped against the door as he worked your wetness around your clit, diving into your pussy to gather more of your arousal and spread it around. He toyed with your clit, rolling around his fingers, and flicking it just the way you liked.
“Oh, shit, Sir,” you moaned against the door. Your cheek was pressed against it as he rubbed his erection against your ass. He nibbled on your ear, licking away any hints of pain. His left hand came up to grab your titty. He finally let the fabric fall as he pinched and rolled your nipple in time with his fingers on your clit.
“I want the neighbors next door to hear you screaming and call the front desk,” he whispered in your ear. 
Pinpricks of arousal traveled up and down your body. You could barely stay standing as that particular image flashed in your mind. “I want you to explain that it was just some enthusiastic play time and nothing to be concerned about.”
Your moans were pathetic and whiny as you raised up on tip toes trying to escape his fingers. But he only pressed into you further, pressing you against the cold door. You scratched at the wooden door. There was nothing to hold on to, nothing to help you as you cried out and the orgasm ripped through you like a thunderstorm. You were whipped about in a frenzy as the power of it stole your breath away. 
You cried as you calmed down. Tre withdrew his fingers and panted against your neck as if he had just gotten done fucking you. He audibly smacked his lips as he tasted you on his fingers and moaned as he licked every last digit. 
He roughly turned you again, slamming his lips against yours in a brutal kiss. You took control, kissing him and pushing at his shoulders. He raised an eyebrow at you as you dropped to your knees.
His dick twitched as you palmed him, running your fingers over him once before opening your mouth and sucking him inside. You licked him just like you did that ice cream spoon. Slowly and sensually and maintaining eye contact. He groaned, licked his lips.
“Oh, that’s how we doing it?” He asked. He sat back against the wall and you adjusted with him. Then you continued teasing him and sucking him into your mouth. You played with his balls and he moaned low in his throat. You rolled them with one hand while keeping your other hand braced against his thigh.
You licked him, running your tongue across his tip. “Mm, suck me down,” he said. But you ignored him, continuing to kiss your way up and down his shaft. He chuckles were stuttered and he shook his head.
“I’ll remember this when it’s your turn,” he promised darkly. You knew he was going to pay you back when you started teasing him. But you just liked the sound of him moaning for you even more. You sucked him all the way down, trying to fit as much of him in your mouth as you could. Then you started sucking on him like he liked. Rough, bruising, bullying your mouth with his dick.
“Unf, that’s it. That’s it right there,” he coached while he threw his head back and groaned. He released himself and you swallowed every drop. He took a few deep breaths before picking you up and bringing you to the bed. He spread your legs apart and looked his fill at your dripping pussy. 
“Wait! Fuck!” You didn’t need a break but you did need a tiny breather. You had been out in the sun all day walking and enjoying the day. But the feral gleam in that man’s eyes had you slightly worried that you were in danger.
“Tre,” you said, trying to get a handle on yourself. It wasn’t normal to want to throw common sense through the window and have him fuck your brains out. Right? 
“The fuck did you just call me?” He asked. His deep, rough voice turned even darker as his eyes narrowed behind his glasses. He slapped your pussy and you reared up, trying to scoot away from him.
He slapped it a few more times, each one stinging more than the last. The sting gave way to a burning coil of heat that had you moaning and moving your hips for more. You hated that he turned you into exactly what you didn’t want to be, a sex doll. Well, hell, there were worse things to be while underneath him. 
You stammered as you tried to think past the unbridled lust and need. 
“What’s my name?” He asked. He landed another smack against your pussy. You only grew more wet. The wet slaps were getting louder and filthier and he noticed. He didn’t wait long for you to respond before continuing to slap at your pussy until your legs were shaking.
“S-Sir,” you moaned. 
“What is it?” He asked. He tilted his head and you looked at him through that sex fog you’d grown accustomed to this past week. You could barely think of your answer, let alone make your mouth move, as he slammed two fingers inside you. 
“Oh fuck!” You moaned. Your hands gripped and let go of the sheets around you on the king sized bed. He pumped the fingers in and out of you, moving them around to feel every inch of your soaked walls. You moaned and whined, your needy sounds somehow turning you on even more. 
“What’s my name, little one?” You asked. 
“Sir! Sir!” You yelled out, cried out, in time for your orgasm to kick in, making you shiver in time with the frost from the AC. You shook, out of control, thighs trembling and knees buckling. If you were standing, you’d have collapsed to the floor. 
Tre scooted in, making sure your legs couldn’t close. “Remember our safe word?” 
You nodded dumbly. “Candy cane,” you muttered.
He dropped his head to your belly, placing soft kisses there. “Only you can turn me into a fucking animal,” he whispered against your skin. You giggled as he continued to attack your plump belly with kisses. 
He licked the swell of your breasts and moaned at your taste. You reached out and grabbed his dick, played with the precum between your bodies. He moaned and ground his hips into you, rocking with every swipe. You flicked your thumb across the tip, flicking all that pre against the tip of his dick. He sighed and groaned under your touch, latching on to your nipple and suckling you.
It began to dry up so he pulled away and dropped to his knees. “Please, Sir. I need you,” you said.
He took off his glasses and tossed them onto the bed. You grabbed them and placed them on your chest to keep them safe. There was a bite of cold from the metal but it quickly warmed. You didn’t want to get lost gripping the white sheets in desperation and accidentally crush them. Tre watched the movement and his eyes turned darker still, a thousand yard stare entering his gaze. 
Sweat gathered at his brow, rolling down the side of his sweet ebony skin and sliding into his beard. His breathing was erratic as he lowered against your pussy lips and drew your legs over his shoulders. 
His fingers dug into a deep massage of the back of your thighs as he nosed through your wet slit. You bit your lip and gyrated your hips, unable to control yourself from moving. He suckled one of your pussy lips into his mouth, pulling to the point of pain and you cried out. 
You had no idea how you were going to survive another one but you weren’t going to tap out. You needed him just as badly as he needed you. Needed this. This was the only time you felt like you were on the same page. The only time you felt connected, mind to mind. 
He moaned, inhaling your scent and swiping his tongue out. You were still so sensitive from your earlier orgasms that you twitched with every pass. The massage on your thighs already had your back arching off of the bed, but when he finally dived in and wrapped his sexy lips around your clit, you were crying out and clutching his head. 
“Oh shit!” You moaned. This was different. This was him trying to prove something. Or earn something. He suckled on you, hard, pulling waves of pleasure from you and making you whine and groan and scream to the sky. Perhaps he would get his wish and the front desk would be calling you any minute, asking if everything was okay.
No, everything was not fucking okay. You were getting the life sucked out of you and it was bordering on painful. It felt too fucking good as he licked and moaned his way in between your legs. His tongue speared in and out of you, mimicking how he was going to fuck you. One of his hands disappeared from your thighs and you felt him groan and tug on himself. 
“That’s my job, you know,” you managed to breathe out.
He huffed against your pussy, rolling his tongue around your clit in small, tight circles that made your eyes cross. His tugs grew rougher and you panted to get enough oxygen to form a thought.
“That’s mine,” you said before succumbing to another orgasm. This was brutal and unforgiving. It blinded and deafened you. Sweat gathered everywhere. Pooled in the crevices of your skin. Your thighs locked his head in and he kept going, kept working his jaw to wring every last bit of it out of you. 
Your knuckles hurt from clutching the sheets so hard as you came and came, wave upon wave of pleasure soaking the sheets beneath you. Tre licked up everything you gushed out. You twitched with every pass, too overstimulated. 
Your cry was small and weak and he finally stopped, kissing up your thighs and over your belly. His hands roamed your body, touching every inch he could. He rubbed feeling back into your limbs, anchoring you in place and bringing you back to the world of the living. 
Your essence dripped nastily from his beard and he swiped a hand down to work it in. “I like when you get possessive. You said this was yours?” Tre stood over you, peering down at you. He tugged on his thick erection and it jerked as you struggled to your elbows to hold yourself up. 
It looked fucking painful the way it strained away from him, veiny, and begging for you. You licked your lips. Fuck, you wanted to taste him. Wanted him to feel just as good as he made you. 
“Mine,” you huffed out. 
He swiped his hand through your slopping juices and coated his dick with it, rubbing himself and groaning as he looked into your eyes. “One day, I’ma paint your belly with my cum and see how many paintings I can make.” 
Your pussy clenched sharply and you moaned at the mental image. You needed him to do that, like right now. Something on your face made him grin and huff a laugh. He gripped your legs and tugged you closer, ass half-hanging off the bed. 
“I like the idea of stuffing you more. Fucking my cum into you and painting your insides with everything I can give you,” his rubbed the top of your thighs and your hips. His hands were always deliciously callused and it worked at turning your body into jelly. 
“I want everything,” you said. You gave him puppy eyes as your voice turned soft and girly, small with need. 
His hand went to your face as he leaned over you. Your sweaty bodies rubbed together and you moaned, pulling him closer by his hips. He watched you rub against him, grabbing his ass with one hand and pulling him into you.
Your head was deliciously empty. You were operating on basic instinct. You just wanted him inside of you. You just wanted to be connected to him. Claimed by him. He moved his hips, rubbing his fat dick against your folds. You were trying to move him inside of you but he was too big for all of that. He’d have to be guided in. 
“You want this dick, little one?” He asked. 
The pet name was like a dose of dopamine that traveled from your brain to the tips of your toes. It relaxed you further, making you smile goofily at him. 
“I want that dick, Sir,” you moaned. 
He pulled you by the chin for a sweet, tender kiss that made your eyes water. He used his other hand to guide him inside you. That was anything but tender. He shoved inside and your mouth dropped open.
He groaned as he looked at you and began to pump his hips at a fast, punishing pace. You couldn’t breathe. You would probably pass out in a second. Your mouth flopped like a fish as he found a spot deep inside you already. You felt full and connected just like you wanted, getting closer to him every time he was inside you.
“Breathe, little one. I don’t want you passing out on me,” he said against your lips. He kissed you as if to give you the very breath you desperately needed. You gasped and sucked in as much air as you could while he was currently stealing it from your body.
Fuck, you felt electric. On top of the world. You felt like you could do anything now that he was inside you. You rolled your head, unable to choose a position to hold and keep it. He felt too fucking good pumping into you. 
Your arms trembled from trying to hold yourself up but it was important to you to stay like this. Stay close like this. Your head was bent towards his. His lips were pressing sweet kisses to your forehead and cheeks. You returned his sweet kisses so at odds with how he was fucking you.
And make no mistake, this was pure, animalistic fucking. He was rutting inside of you. “Fuck,” he moaned. “Feel so fucking good.” 
You clenched around his dick. His moans made you greedy for more. You felt invincible. Power drunk. You rendered a powerful man like him speechless and sloppy as his hips jerked against you. 
He stopped to adjust himself, lifting one of your legs higher and then he set to work again. You grabbed his forearms and held on, looking into each other’s eyes, as your moans matched. Your face started to contort with a rising orgasm.
“Mhm, let that shit go. Let me feel you flooding this dick. Get that dick wet for me,” he cooed. 
“Sir, Sir,” you moaned. Your nails dug into his arms as you leaned your head back and it finally overtook you. “Ouue, fuuuuck, babbyyy,” you moaned as you came. Your body convulsed on his dick, flooding him just the way he wanted with your slick.
“Fuck, I feel it. Feelin’ that shit,” he groaned. He hung his head as you closed your eyes. Stars exploded behind your eyes. You closed them tightly, trying to survive this. Trying to survive him and his body. 
His own orgasm was ripped from him, soaking you in his cum. You felt it pulsing inside of you, pumping load after load. His hips still snapped inside of you, fucking it even deeper. You held on, your head against the bed and flopping from side to side as you cried and moaned, shaking on his dick.
Tre panted and groaned, his hips slowing down. Fuck, you were definitely going to feel this shit later. He dropped against your shoulder, off to the side and careful to avoid his glasses on your chest. He licked and kissed on your neck as he panted and recovered.
You messily sucked in air. He’d already seen you in a bonnet and shower cap, you were out of dignities to spare. You massaged the back of his neck while he laid there. He groaned, tension leaving his body in visible waves. 
He softened inside of you and slowly pulled out. He leaned back into standing, so he could open your legs and watch his cum spill out. He licked his lips as if he still wanted to play with you but you were both too fucking tired to do anything but huff and look towards the ceiling. 
He flopped beside you, wiping sweat from his brow. You yawned, but he told you not to fall asleep.
Not to fall asleep? How could you not? Your poor vagina was begging you for a break and he wasn’t giving an inch. 
You heard him flittering around the suite. You distantly heard water running and then he was running a warm towel between your legs. You hissed at the contact, the soreness, the desperation finally leaving your bones for the time being.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” he whispered as he cleaned you up. He disappeared again and then he was back, picking you up and scooting you further up the bed. Somehow, he produced a tray of fresh fruit and made you sit up to eat and drink the water that was also on the tray.
“Where did this come from?” You asked.
“I sent for it while I was cleaning myself off. I think you dozed off,” he said. He had a proud grin on his face and you rolled your eyes. Yes, yes, we all knew he was a sex god capabale of fucking you to sleep. 
You nodded and opened your mouth while he popped a strawberry in. The fruit was delicious and refreshing after something so intense. The last thing you wanted was to eat or drink. But he pointed out that you needed something besides your light breakfast and ice cream. 
You were sitting against the headboard, letting the coolness ease your feverish skin. Your legs were tucked in and he closed the distance, sitting as close as possible to you while staying in front of you.
“I owe you some answers. But first, I want to say that this was an apology trip and fucking,” he said.
“Apology?” Shit, you really couldn’t think. Your thoughts were…nonexistent. 
“I owe you an apology for not letting Brianna know that we were done. That she couldn’t just walk into the office whenever she felt like anymore. We ran in the same circles and shared the same tastes. I like my women to be a little submissive in the bedroom. Tying them up, controlling their orgasms, the whole bit. That’s what she meant by training. She thought I trained you to call me, Sir.” 
He hadn’t, not really. It was a default to call your bosses Ma’am or Sir or whatever they preferred to be called unless they gave you permission to call them by their name. A holdover from your old school grandparents to teach you manners. Tre terrified you in the beginning, you had honestly been too afraid to call him anything else. 
He told you more about how he usually got with his women. He found that he was into the whole scene life from his time experimenting in college. He didn’t “do” relationships. In every sense of the word, you were his first real relationship. He was so focused on getting things together, he skipped over a dozen or so steps and just wanted you by his side. 
It was…sweet and started to answer a lot of fucking questions about him. 
“I knew that I fucked up with the Brianna thing, I heard how she was speaking to you. We spent the lunch hour talking about how we were over whether she liked it or not. She kept asking what made you so special. And I just kept telling her everything. Everything made you special.” 
Your eyes were starting to tear up so you bit your lip to keep from making them fall. He was being so damn sweet and open, it was tearing you to pieces. 
He looked away, looked down at your legs. His hands idly rubbed your calf as he talked more. “I knew I needed to make it up to you beyond just saying sorry or taking you to dinner. I needed you to know I’m serious,” he said.
You reached out and caressed his cheek, tugging on his beard. “Trust me, I know you’re serious,” you said with a giggle. 
He shook his head. “I know I ambushed you with this. But there’s still so much I don’t know about you. I heard you talking to Ka’ron one day and knew she was the main one to ask about this. When she said she never heard of me, I will admit, that hurt.” 
He said as much back at the airport. You dropped your hand to his, to the one drawing circles on your calf. You squeezed his hand and looked into his open, brown eyes. “I’m not ashamed of you. I didn’t know how to explain it. You’re still my boss,” you said.
“I’m not just your boss,” he said. 
“No, but…sometimes you push forward and there’s never a conversation in between. Like you decide all these things in this…relationship but you don’t tell it to me. You leave ‘me’ out of the relationship and that’s no way to be together. I need that conversation to ground me. I’m not a mind reader.”
“I can’t help it. It feels like I’m always trying to gauge whether you have one foot in or one foot out. I feel like…I have to catch you by surprise,” he said.
That was fair. You had a history of running and being scared. You were constantly running from situations that were too real, too honest. You hated that you weren’t always seen as the “fun, uncomplicated” girlfriend. When guys pushed for more, you were the first out of the door and onto the next one. Over and over, ready to bolt at the first sign of something being real. 
“I am in. I am yours. I am not going anywhere,” you said. “I promise to talk to you first if I ever feel like bolting. But that’s just it! I don’t feel like bolting with you.” 
You still felt panicked sometimes, like you couldn’t breathe with the mounting pressure and knowledge that all of this could come crashing down on your head. That everyone would find out and snicker and laugh you out of the office. That Tre would realize that he was dating someone so far beneath his league, it was laughable. 
“I feel like you’re going to realize we’re not on the same level,” you admitted.
“We’re not. You’re so far out of my league, I don’t know why you’re here,” he said.
You looked at him, waiting for him to laugh or yell, “Gotcha!” It never came. He was fucking serious. The realization made you look at him like he was crazy. 
“Get the fuck out,” you said and shook your head, laughing. 
“I’m very serious,” he said. You felt like you knew him by now. He didn’t “do” humor that much either. He made you laugh and you had fun watching comedy specials together, but for the most part, he was deadly serious. 
“You are the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever met. You’re smart, funny, and you can talk about so much shit I never heard about. I feel like I have to shower you with gifts and trips to make you like me,” he said. 
You pushed at his chest. “You’re so full of shit and I’m not falling for it. I’m not after your money!” 
“I know,” he said with that shit-eating grin you’re so fond of. “I check the statements. You haven’t used my card once. What’s up with that?” 
You threw up your hands. “Did Brianna ever get a card?” You asked. You couldn’t look at him while you asked that question. You didn’t want to compare yourself to Lil’ Miss Headband but you needed to know. 
“You are the only one I’ve ever trusted my money to,” he said. He brought your hand to his lips. 
You sighed quietly, loving to hear that. You’d just about die if it turned out that he gave every little woman he slept with a card. 
“Sounds like we’re both harboring shit instead of talking,” you said. 
He nodded. “We promised honesty from here on out, yeah?” He asked.
You nodded, popping a grape into your mouth. “Total honesty. No matter how scared we are or how much it hurts.” 
Tre sucked his teeth and fought you for a piece of cheese. “Ain’t nobody scared,” he said. 
You laughed and called him a liar and continued to talk a few things out. He didn’t mind reassuring you over and over that you were the only one he’d really been with. You still found it hard to believe, you had eyes. 
His ego needed no stroking as he confirmed that there were always women after him but it was hard to tell if they wanted him or his money. He had no problem treating his lady, but when it was expected and not appreciated, it got old fast. You respected it. You’d still have a hard time believing it though. 
You spent the rest of the weekend, much more relaxed that you didn’t have the weight of Brianna hanging over your head. You were able to swim and venture out into Jamaica to a local shopping place with women selling wares. A lot of it was the same thing from stall to stall and you felt bad having to tell a lot of them no. Tre was patient and let you get however many souvenirs you wanted for your friends. 
You spent New Year’s with him inside of you, making you beg for mercy until your voice gave out and your body quaked. You got your kiss at midnight. It was sloppy and wet and perfect. 
Unfortunately, you had to return home to a million calls from your friends and family. Cat was out of the bag officially. You made sure that Tre knew it was all his fault to which he only grinned and asked which house you were visiting first. But now that you were back in sunny California, a pit gnawed in your belly.
You didn’t know how to broach the subject. You had planned to tell him when you weren’t tearing each other’s clothes off last week, but then the trip threw you for a loop. 
He brought you to your place, after you had to practically grab the steering wheel and make him drive you to your place and not his. You made sure he knew that you weren’t trying to leave him, you just had things to check on and he was perfectly capable of coming to your place. Unless he’d spontaneously burst into hives from not sleeping on black sheets. Traveling was a fluke, the rules didn’t apply while on vacation. 
“Oh, we got jokes,” he said and grinned on the way to your place. “I’ll remember that tomorrow.” He kept that evil grin on his face and you shuddered to think of what he had planned while you clenched your thighs together.
At your place, you stopped him from getting out of the car with a hand on his. He looked at you, growing more and more concerned as he looked at your face. 
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“I don’t know how to just blurt this out,” you said. Your leg bounced in your seat. Your street was quiet for once, no one outside to distract you.
“Hey, total honesty.” 
You nodded. “I was going to tell you last week but…” You took a deep breath and then closed your eyes. Rip that bandaid off.
“Someone’s stealing a shit ton of money from the company.”
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Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 7 | Part 8 - Completed
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ablackfangirl · 2 months
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Took me like four months but i finally got caught up to one piece (dub) and not only am I obsessed im in love with just about every guy in the show and idk how but Sanji is my fave id do anything for this man
Anyway heres a few modern day relationships headcanons for him
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Despite being in a relationship with Sanji for while everyday still feels like the very first stages for your relationship
He doesn't care what's going on this man will bring you flowers twice a week
It's never a real routine and you're not even sure how he manages to surprise you still but twice a week there'll be new flowers sitting on your nightstand or he's come home greeting you with them
Sanji also leaves little love notes with the flowers not all the time but occasionally in your gifts from him you'll find them
Obviously he loves to cook for you
In a college AU setting, he goes to school for culinary arts, and his favorite thing is making you try whatever new dish he's got
And that goes on throughout your whole relationship
Nothing makes him happier than seeing you smile from eating his food or giving your opinions about it
Except maybe when you surprise him by cooking for him
Anytime you do he actually has to hold himself back from crying
And you always tease him from being so dramatic
He's pretty aware of his emotions
And that makes him an incredible listener and communicator like that's one of the best things about your relationship with him
Sanji is naturally a flirt when he talks which is fine when he's flirting with you but you can't lie you've always find it annoying when he's talking to other woman
But he is committed to you, sanji is so loyal the second someone starts to hit on him he's already shooting them down "You're very beautiful, but I already have a goddess at home."
He does try to stop flirting so much because he hates the idea of upsetting you but he still has trouble with it and the same thing applies to his smoking habit
He'll rarely smoke in front of you if it is something you don't like
Sanji's a touchy guy
when you're out he always has a hand on you, wither it's your lower back, your arm
This man needs everyone to know you're together
Loves holding hands
One of his favorite places to kiss you is the palm of your hand while looking into your eyes
He actually calls you every pet name in the book but his favorites are
Love, sweetheart, angel, baby, and mon cher for special occasions
You can literally talk to him about anything and vice a versa
He goes a little crazy when you run your hands through his hair when the two of you are lying in bed
Now to get a little more spicy 🌶
His favorite position is you riding him
Sanji goes crazy seeing your naked body
Very into body warships as far as he's concerned you're the most beautiful person in the world and he loves showing you that
Will spend hours eating you out
"Nothing tastes better than you mon amour"
loves leaving hickies especially where others can see them
I imagine he says the filthiest things in bed which is always so jarring because naturally, he treats to like a goddess, but in bed, he'll talk to you like a whore on the street
"You like when I treat you like a slut don't you?" "I wanna taste you as your cum on my tongue y/n." "that's it ride it like the whore you are." "Fuck I love you."
This man just loves you so much and would honestly just do anything for you
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I might so zoro or law next not sure
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