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phas3d · 3 months

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Celebrity Crush|| Slytherin Boys

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: suggestive jokes (all)

contains :: draco malfoy, tom riddle, mattheo riddle, theodore nott, lorenzo berkshire

summary :: you're either friends or enemies and they see you freaking out over your celebrity, making them jealous. they search them up only to find out that the celebrity looks almost exactly like them

alternative :: your celebrity crush looks nothing like them

DRACO (enemies)

Your group just watched the newest movie that came out

Ever since then, you couldn’t stop gushing about how hot the villain was

Although the villain was an awful person, you still went on rants about how fine he is

Your friends kept laughing at how out of pocket your jokes were

“I can fix him I swear, just give me a chance” you grieved as if someone died

"I'm gonna get on all fours and start hitting my chest like a gorilla if he keeps looking this fine" you said with passion, not scared of the whole school hearing you

Draco, despite not wanting to say it, was extremely jealous as he gripped his fork extra hard as he heard you

He was a dick, why didn’t you like him? Maybe he wasn’t hot enough? He’s always been slightly insecure about his appearance

The second lunch ended, he ran to the bathroom and secretly looked up the actor

But as he looked at him… he realized he wasn’t too far off from the actor

Their faces were almost completely different but, they both had short bright blonde hair, cold blue eyes, always wore green, and had similar body types

From seeing that, he smirked to himself and got an ego boost

He goes to sleep with a fat ass grin on his face

He won’t directly say the actor looks like him, but he’ll know it deep down

TOM (friends)

Although Tom could stand being around you, he wished he could mute you out

You two were studying together in his room

Or… he was studying while you kept replaying the same edit of some random celebrity

“He could take my eggs and eat it like skittles”

Tom has literally killed and tortured people but he still widened his eyes slightly at your comment

He felt a small bit of jealousy, but he wasn’t sure if it was because he was scared of losing his only friend or because he liked you

(It’s because he likes you but he’s not that emotionally aware)

Tom has always been nosy, so he tilted slightly to see your phone

That’s when he saw a man with pale skin, brown eyes, and wavy brown hair

But beside those basic attributes, he also had the same nose as him along with a resting bitch face

He doesn’t show it, but on the inside he felt much calmer

It gave him a small sense of hope that maybe one day, he could actually be seen as attractive by someone

No one has ever confessed or even liked Tom romantically throughout his whole life due to his insane hobbies

He sleeps a little bit better with the thought that maybe someone could like him

And he really hopes it’s you :)

MATTHEO (enemies) (I made this so long on accident... whoops)

You two clash constantly due to Mattheo’s class clown behavior and your goody-two-shoes attitude

He was always cracking mean jokes and bullying your friend group since you were kinda nerdy

You despised him and have beaten his ass multiple times (with magic) but he still doesn’t learn his lesson

But that's mainly because he thinks it's hot when you beat his ass and yell at him

Once again, he was walking towards your group to pick on you guys once more, especially you

But that’s when he heard you freak out over some random character

At first he thought it was just some lame anime character, that's how you usually are

But when you start showing your friends the photo-card in the back of your phone, he realizes it’s a real person

Instantly, he's pissed and jealous of a stupid piece of paper

He stalks you until you repeat the celebrities' name so he can google him and ruin his career

But once he looks up the idol, he sees that he also has dark curly hair with deep brown eyes

He actually researches and tries to learn about the idol more so he can take note on what you like

That's when he learns that the idol is known as a funny and protective person, just like him

He giggles to himself and decides to be insanely cocky

He prints out a photo of himself in the same pose as the idol, rounds the corners, and even puts his own signature on the back

The next day, he hands it to you and is smirking to himself

But... surprisingly... you didn't know it wasn't the idol????

You smiled widely and freak out, you thank him and quickly put it in the back of your phone case

From that, he smiles insanely widely. Not only at how cute you were from freaking out, but by also knowing he's on the back of your phone without you even knowing

THEODORE (friends)

He's always known you were a fangirl but it was normally for weird things

You've had a few celebrity crushes over the years, but it's never been this extreme before

"GOD I WANNA LIVE IN HIS TOILET!!!" You shouted as you stared at a photo of the celebrity

Theo never understood how people got so attached but he was curious

How hot was this guy for you to like him THIS much? and why was he so jealous?

Theo has always been confident in his looks since he pulls bitches left and right

But, for some reason, he's suddenly strongly craving your validation

He asks you to show him the celebrity, only to see an almost exact clone of himself

Light fluffy brown hair, green eyes that were the same shape as his, thick brows, and a strong jaw

Theo smiles lightly and shakes his head, you perceived it as him making fun of your crush

You hide your phone from him and proceed to watch a pile of edits of this man on loop

Although he didn't get the hype of being a fangirl, he supported this one

He researches the celebrity during his free time and tries to become more like him slightly

Of course, he doesn't change anything drastically

But he might get the same shirt or shoes as him

LORENZO (rivals?) (can you tell he's my favorite?)

You and Lorenzo were constantly at the top of your charms class within the entire school

Both of you have constantly gone head to head with each other just to compete for first place, only to tie for it together

There was no hatred or extreme feelings, just a fun rivalry that was oddly flirtatious at times

While you were in the library with a few friends studying, you suddenly start slamming your fist on the desk

Lorenzo was often in the library in order to check out new books to read in order to beat you

He looked over, worried that something bad happened

But all he saw was you on the floor, as if you melted, with your phone held high showcasing a man

He was curious as to how you got to the floor so fast despite banging on the table only 2 seconds ago, but he didn't care

Many people in the school shipped you and Lorenzo, but you both always denied it in order to not make it awkward

But, Lorenzo has liked you for ages. Despite that fact that he's a fuckboy, he would give up everything just to kiss you

"I would save his nail clippings and make a necklace out of it" You said in a harsh whisper that made all your friends hold back a laugh

Lorenzo was shocked, he's never seen you be so vulgar

He felt slightly hurt, not only by the fact that you were freaking out over some celebrity but also because he's never seen you act like this with him

"The things I would do for this man is un-ex-plain-a-ble" You aggressively whispered as you slammed your fist on the desk again

The librarian came around and told your whole group to shut up, which made Lorenzo happy

He decided to do his usual routine, he walked up to you and flicked you on the head as a joking gesture

You wince and hold your forehead, that's when he looks at your phone and sees the name of the celebrity

He repeats the name over and over and over and OVER in his head until he gets to his dorm and instantly searches him up on his phone

That's when he sees how similar he is to the celebrity

At first, he was doubting it since he didn't want to be cocky

But he told Theo and Theo instantly agreed, saying the celebrity looks just like him

Sharp jawline and cheekbones, fair skin, soft light brown hair, brown eyes, and even the same body build

He smiled to himself, feeling a bit of self love for himself from seeing how similar he is to your favorite celebrity

He's always been slightly insecure of his body build due to most of the guys in Hogwarts being buff as shit while Lorenzo was slightly more lean

But seeing the celebrity be called the heart-throb of the year made him really happy

After he knows all of this, he's much more confident around you and even finds subtle ways to bring up how he knows your type

Uses this as evidence against you to make you blush during petty arguments

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the-modern-typewriter · 11 days

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Can i get an immortal villain×mortal hero please please please🥺

I'll give you my croissants 🥐🥐🥐

"How would you like to die?" the villain asked. Their eyes were closed where they sat upon a park bench, head tipped back to the cool breeze and the clear blue sky.

The hero stopped, a little uncertain, but not exactly startled.

"I've tried every kind of death," the villain said. "I can make a recommendation if you prefer."

"I'm not going to die."

The villain's lips twisted - a smile, of sorts. "All mortals die. It is the linchpin of their condition."

"I won't die because of you."

The villain's smile broadened. "Drowning, perhaps. Or maybe suffocation. I don't want to disturb the ducks."

"Why those in particular?"

The villain finally deigned to open their eyes at the question, considering the hero where they stood. The hero couldn't quite read the villain's expression, but their voice remained casual. "Everyone always thinks they can survive those ones. If they just thrash, just fight, hard enough. Then they go very still and very quiet when they realise they can't. You have time to realise what's going to happen to you, see."

"Nice to see you at least put thought into your craft."

"What can I say, I'm a sweetheart. You only get one death."

"But you don't."

"You've done some research. Not enough," the villain added, tipping their head, "seeing as you're still standing there talking to me. But some. Kudos. I guess we'll see if you're brave or stupid."

"I'm not trying to kill you."

"Contain me. Incapacitate me." The villain waved a dismissive hand. "You might save your generation, perhaps, if you get lucky. Are you feeling lucky?"

"I'm not trying to do that either."

"Oh?" The villain sat up a little, finally tuning in properly to the conversation. "Are you not a hero? You dress like one."

"I'm hoping to find a more peaceful, effective solution."

The villain slumped, bored, again. "Mm. This should be good."

"Because I have done my research," the hero said, taking another step closer. "You're immortal. You only kill people when they attack you or are in the way of you wanting something."

"As I said, I'm a sweetheart and a saint."

The hero's jaw tightened. The villain had slaughtered thousands across the decades after all. They were many things, and had lived many lives, but in none of them had they ever been a sweetheart or a saint.

"And what you want most," the hero ploughed on, "other than your comfortable life, is not to be bored. There's no end, after all. So you need distraction. Diversion. Something to make time a little less of of a prison."

The villain was silent for a long moment, watching the hero. "I take it back," they said, finally. "I'm going to drive a knife through your ribs. Nice and slow. You know it's much harder to die from a stab wound than people think? Often it's the blood loss that gets ya."

"And then what?"

The villain shrugged. "Feed the ducks. Go back to my book. Make Christmas lights out of your bones. The possibilities are endless!"

"Sounds lonely."

"You think you're the first to try this, don't you?"

"I think you haven't met me before."

"Maybe I will entertain myself with you," the villain said. "Maybe I'll destroy your life and the live of everyone you talk to from now on. That could be fun. It's been a while since I've been so personal a devil."

Despite themselves, the hero swallowed. Despite their resolve, they considered walking away. Just for a moment.

The villain pushed to their feet, tossing their paperback carelessly aside.

The hero squared their shoulders. They felt their suddenly-fragile feeling heart begin to race. They let the villain stop in front of them, they tried not to let out a desperate shudder as the villain's fingers wrapped around their throat.

"Pick an option," the villain said, caressing their pulse. "Lose air. Lose blood. Or lose everything, but get a few more years before you go. If you ask really nicely, I might even make it quick. "

The hero shifted. They passed through the villain's fingers as if it were nothing, as if the villain were nothing. A ghost. Untouchable.

When the villain turned, the hero sat on the bench the villain had vacated. They made a show of picking up the villain's book, willing their once-more solid fingers not to tremble.

The villain raised an eyebrow. "Phasing. Cute."

"I don't age when I'm in ghost mode. Any injuries I have heal. If someone kills me, I stay dead, presumably. I'm mortal, as you say, but..."

"Hard to kill."

"Hardest you'll find. Or does the challenge scare you?"

"Determined little martyr, aren't you?"

"Not like you have anything to lose experimenting. You have all the time in the world."

"You realise I don't have to honour any deal now that you've revealed your hand? I could just hunt you and continue hurting other people, especially now I know how much it bothers me."

"I'll disappear."

"I have all the time in the world. I'd find you eventually."

"I guess then I'd just vanish again, if you don't want to play ball."

"You really are just the cutest, aren't you?"

"Is that a yes?"

"Maybe." The villain held out a hand for their book. "I haven't decided. Buy me lunch. See if you can keep my interest for more than five minutes."

"Lunch."

"There's a new cafe I haven't tried. Apparently they make their own croissants."

"You want to go to lunch with me?"

"No, I want to go to lunch. All this talk of bloodshed is giving me the munchies! But I'm assuming you're currently planning to haunt me, so you may as well pay. Unless you want me to just...kill anyone who tries to charge me."

"No! No."

"That's what I thought. Great minds."

The hero pushed to their feet, as the villain had, tentatively offering them their book back. They weren't entirely sure if that encounter had gone well or not.

The villain smiled, full of teeth, eyes gleaming.

"For your sake, little hero, do try not to be boring."

And, so, they went for lunch.

#heroes and villains #villains and heroes #immortal villain #writing #villains #fiction #immortality #writing snippet #story snippet #writeblr

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hello-nichya-here · 4 months

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Did Sia insult topic of autism somehow?

Oh honey, it's sooooooooo much worse than that.

Sia wanted to make a movie about an autistic girl that manages to connect to people/feel safe and confident through music. So far, nothing outrageous, just a simple concept that would obviously put Sia's music front and center while doing something nice and educating people on autism.

There was controversy about her not casting an autistic actress as it would have been nice representation, but she could have totally gotten away with that since, come on, hollywood hasn't even figured out Rain Man isn't exactly true to life, they're not ready to have an autistic person playing an autistic character. Baby steps.

The real problem started when Sia started promoting the "charity/support group" that was helping "educate" her on the topic to make the movie. The "charity" in question was Autism Speaks - which is absolutely HATED by the autistic community for things like:

1 - Spreading the myth that autism is a mental illness that one can develop/catch like the freaking flue and potentially be cured of, instead of a neurotype, aka something starts in the woomb and cannot be "cured" because to do that you'd need to replace someone's entire nervous system, which is impossible.

2 - Using that myth to get outrageous amounts of money from people so they "search for a cure" - that doesn't exist and will never exist because curing autism is biologically impossible, AND despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of autistic people don't even want to be "cured" (plus, since said "cure" would essentially mean giving the person a new brain, it leads to the question of "Would I even be the same person, or would that just kill and replace me?")

3 - Using the myth of "We don't know what causes autism" (we do, it's genetic) to, of course, get MORE money from people so they can "do research to find the missing puzzle piece" (if you ever see autistic people complaining about a puzzle piece being used to represent the condition, that's why, it was started by Autism Speak's massive disinformation campains).

4 - Falsely "confirming" things like soy milk cause autism with one of the world's most ridiculous "research", losing only to "vaccines totally make kids autistic, buy MY vaccine instead, guys, I am totally not an unbelievably biased person, it's ALL the other doctors/scientists lying to you. GIVE ME MONEY!"

5 - Pushing the narrative of "autism is inherently a tragedy" to distract from the fact that all the money they waste on stupid shit could be used to help autistic people and their families. Instead, they focus on creating more and more panic, making parents in particular despair even more - to the point that one of their "awareness videos" includes a mother talking about how she wants to murder her autistic daughter and then kill herself... while sitting right next to said daughter.

6 - Promoting ABA "therapy" - which was created by the same guy responsible for the attrocity that is gay conversion "therapy." Both have led to unbelievably high rates of confirmed PTSD and suicidal ideation in patients (victims), and ABA in particular has been compared to literal dog training. Very fitting since it was created by a guy who famously did not believe autistic people truly counted as thinking, feeling human beings, and said as much several times. Despite that, it is still praised by some utter bastards because "it makes the patients act less autistic when they're not crying in the corner or trying to jump out a window"

So yeah, working with these guys is a genuinely horrible thing to do since they're basically a scam/hate group pretending to be a charity - and people were STILL willing to give Sia the benefit of the doubt, since Autism Speak uses all their resources to make sure they're the first thing people see when looking up how to help autistic people.

Lots of Sia's fans, both autistic and allistic, warned her repeatedly, politely, that she needed to supporting them IMMEDIATELY as their goal was the exact opposite of the one she claimed to have - aka raise awareness through an accurate portrail of autism. People were even kind enough to name organizations like ASAN as replacements to help her fix any damage done to the project.

And instead of being a decent human being, Sia decided to cry on twitter about how the mean retar-I mean, autistics were bullying her even when she was so kindly using them for her vanity project.

Because yes, that's how the movie turned out. An unwatcheable piece of garbage, with the autistic "character" being so fucking bad even the people who actively use "autistic" as insulted being offended on our behalf - and of course, she was used just a prop to show how awesome Sia's character was.

Seriously, it was so bad the actress playing the autistic girl was sobbing in between scenes because she knew how it was horrible and she didn't want to insult anyone, but Sia is literally her godmother and helped her career by putting her in nearly all her music videos so she felt obligated to go along with it.

So yeah, fuck Sia and fuck Autism Speaks.

#asks #sia #ableism #autism speaks #actually autistic #aba therapy

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valeskafics · 1 year

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"Aegon Knows Best" - Modern!Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Summary: Having a hot roommate isn't an issue. Until it is.

TW: profanity, innuendo, she/her pronouns, AFAB reader, p in v sex, unprotected sex, pussy slapping, finger in the bum, edging, slight overstimulation, tiddy sucking, DADDY KINK, degradation kink, praise kink, hair pulling, light spanking, IF I MISSED SOMETHING I AM REALLY SORRY THERE WAS A LOT GOING ON HERE

Word Count: 3,111 words

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Living with an unfairly attractive roommate isn’t a problem. Your friends all told you it’s not a big deal. Aemond is your best friend Baela’s cousin and she’s assured you over and over that he’s a relatively normal guy. Well, at the very least you haven’t come home to him murdering anyone or running a meth lab out of the apartment, so you’ll take that as a win when it comes to finding a roommate in this shithole of a city.

For the first few months, the two of you honestly rarely even see each other, with your schedules being completely out of sync. Your days off never line up with his and your classes are at all different times, along with your and his work shifts for your on-campus jobs. And on the off chance that you’re both at home at the same time, the guy holes up in his room, only ever really leaving to use the bathroom or grab food, barely speaking a word to you except for, on rare occasion, mumbling out a quick “hello”. Judging from the gaming chair he had delivered to the apartment a few weeks ago and those stupid big ass headphones he always has around his neck, you assume he’s a gamer.

You and your roommate also run in different circles at school. Aemond is, by and large, considered to be on the more nerdy side, if you absolutely had to put a label on it. He has a job at the research library, whereas you have one at the campus coffee shop. You, on the other hand, are quite popular and well-liked. You have friends in different clubs and orgs on campus, friends you’ve made in your classes or just ones who ended up becoming regulars at the coffee shop.

And you don’t know it, but Aemond avoids you for a singular reason. His massive fucking crush on you. The week he moved in, he resolved himself to admire you from afar, knowing that with his tendency to be overly blunt to the point of being an asshole, he’d just alienate you. Besides, from what he can tell, he’s not exactly your type. You’d probably date Jace or Daeron or Aegon before ever going out with him. Sometimes, he finds the fact that you’re so popular slightly annoying, such as when your friends end up staying the night, giggling until all odd hours in your room. The walls are thin and when he takes his headphones off, he can hear practically everything.

Including when Baela asks just what you think of your roommate.

“He’s cute but the guy’s like a hermit,” he hears you giggle to Baela and Sara Snow, assuming the three of you are sitting on your bed, you wearing those little fucking pajama shorts that show off your ass so perfectly, “Like, he’s the epitome of the term ‘cryptid’. I’d love to get to know him but he’s just so completely uninterested in talking to me.”

Aemond feels a bit bitter at your words. He does leave the house. But you did call him cute. Then?

“You’ve gotta admit he’s kinda hot,” Sara teases you, causing Aemond to lean closer against the wall, listening intently for whatever your response may be.

“I mean, yeah, he’s hot,” you agree, making Aemond grin to himself, “It’s just he’s a human hermit crab.”

He scoffs to himself in annoyance as you, Sara, and Baela burst into giggles and begin watching something on your laptop.

“I’ll show you who’s a fucking cryptid,” he mutters to himself, texting Aegon.

Aemond: You remember my roommate I told you about?

Aegon: The hot one? Yeah. What’s up?

Aemond: You said baseball pants and one other thing are to girls as what yoga pants are to guys.

Aegon: Ooooo, you tryna get her all bricked up for you. Mad respect. Gray sweatpants, little bro. Bitches LOVE gray sweatpants, they go fuckin’ feral. Bonus if you wear them without any underwear. Aegon knows best.

Needless to say, that night, your cryptid roommate orders a few pairs of gray sweatpants online, deciding to set his plan into action when you return from fall break.

As it happens, he gets to set the plan into action even sooner than he thinks.

The morning of your flight, as you’re about to call out a quick goodbye to Aemond, not even knowing whether he’s at home or not, your phone chimes with an alert. You open it cheerfully, thinking maybe you ended up getting an upgrade for your flight or something. But, no. It’s a tropical storm warning. And an alert that all flights leaving from King’s Landing International Airport have been grounded until Hurricane Maegor passes through. You sink down onto the sofa, feeling utterly dejected, and quickly begin messaging your friends.

Now, you’re going to be stuck spending your fall break alone, horny, and miserable.

You hear the door to the bathroom open and turn around only to see Aemond walking out in nothing but a towel, slung low across his waist, revealing the v line of his hips. Seven fucking hells, you knew Aemond had a handsome face and ridiculously nice hair, but this is just too fucking much. You can’t tear your eyes away from him as he walks toward the living room - toward where you are, water still clinging to his torso and chest from his shower.

“Isn’t your flight soon?” Aemond questions, “10AM, right? You’ve had it written on that whiteboard on the fridge-”

When he begins speaking, you realize you’ve been fucking staring at him this entire time and quickly turn away to look at your phone, missing the tell-tale way the corner of his lips quirk up into a sly little smirk, “Yeah, about that. I’m fucking stuck here, apparently. Hurricane Maegor has fucked up my plans.”

Aemond hums, “That’s too bad,” he pauses before adding, eyeing your legs in your form-fitting yoga pants that cling to you in a way he finds entirely irresistible, “But good for me. Can’t wait to spend some time together, roomie.”

You feel slightly shocked at his complete 180 in attitude, watching as he walks back toward his bedroom. You drop your bag back in your room and decide to lie down for a bit, trying to recover from whatever the fuck that was that just happened. You’re surprised when twenty minutes later, Aemond pokes his head in your door.

“I’m making myself breakfast, would you like any?”

You look at him curiously before nodding, “Yeah, sure. Thanks, Aemond.”

When you come out of your room several minutes later, you see him standing by the stove, his hair up in a bun, which looks better than it has any right to, exposing the bare skin of his back to you, the muscles of his shoulder blades. You see that literally the only thing he has on is a pair of gray sweatpants, slung low around his hips, almost lower than his towel was. You swallow thickly and walk over to the kitchen table, taking a seat, waiting for him to bring the food and join you.

And when he turns around, you’re sure your eyes have gone comically wide, considering the fact that it’s glaringly obvious he has a hard-on. And hasn’t bothered to put on any underwear. You can see the outline of his cock through the sweatpants and make every effort to try and look away, and yet…

“Are you okay, roomie?” Aemond drawls, moving to lean against the table, making sure to angle himself so that he’s perfectly in your field of vision, “You seem… Tense.”

You stand up, nearly stumbling over your chair in your hurry to get back to your room, rambling out some excuse about needing to call your parents. Aemond watches you, an amused smile playing at his lips as you run off. Aegon’s advice seems to have paid off for once in his life.

The rest of the week, Aemond makes every effort to be around you, driving you absolutely insane. He appears to either have lost every shirt he owns or simply is trying to push every single button you have by refusing to wear one. One day, he’s just lazing about on the couch, drinking his coffee, wearing his fucking glasses. This is literally the most self restraint you’ve ever had to show in your entire life.

You’ve never been this bricked up in your fucking life. So, you decide to give that douchebag Will Tyrell from your Gothic Lit class a chance and agree to go on a date with him, hoping for a quick and easy way to get off and get your mind off of Aemond. You set the date over a phone call, wanting Aemond to realize he has absolutely no effect on you.

That backfires right in your fucking face, considering he amps up his antics.

The levy finally breaks the day of your date with Will, around lunchtime when you’re about to start getting ready. You’re minding your own business, standing in the kitchen, washing the dish you’ve had lunch in. And that’s when you feel Aemond come and press up against your back, murmuring a quick “excuse me”.

Except he doesn’t excuse himself. He spends the next couple of minutes there, rubbing up against your ass, under the guise that he’s just trying to grab something from the sink.

“What the fuck kind of game are you playing?” you turn around and glare up at him from your spot, standing by the kitchen counter.

When you turn, his gaze is heady and already trained intently on you, “Game?” he repeats, his smile snarky and condescending and altogether irritating, “I’m not playing any game, sweetheart. Just trying to-”

“Grab something?” you scoff, “Yeah. Right. No, this whole not wearing a shirt, gray sweatpants, man bun aesthetic you have going on out of absolutely nowhere?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, love,” Aemond smirks, watching as you get angrier and angrier, “You seem a bit tense. Need some help relaxing? Nervous about your little date tonight?”

You scowl, trying to sidestep him, only for him to block your path. You glare at him and move the other way, only to have him block you yet again. You let out a sigh of frustration and stare at the ceiling.

That’s when he presses you back up against the kitchen counter, his lips moving to hover just over yours, “You’re cute when you’re mad.”

And his lips are on yours. For someone who doesn’t seem to be very into socializing or dating, Aemond is an excellent kisser. His lips move against yours perfectly, his hands gripping your hips gently but firmly enough to hold you in place. He moves his lips to hover over your ear, his breath tickling your skin as he speaks.

“You okay there? You seem a bit… Flustered.”

He bites down on your neck, making you whine as he nibbles at your sensitive flesh. Your eyes flutter as he continues kissing your neck, laving attention over your soon to be bruised skin with his tongue. One of Aemond’s hands moves to slide into your pajama shorts, stroking your pussy, making you buck your hips against his hand.

“Thought you told your friends I’m a cryptid who never leaves the house,” he murmurs against your skin, smirking to himself, “But look at you, getting all wet just from me in these fucking sweatpants,” Aemond chuckles, “Pathetic. Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready right now? And here you are. All desperate for me.”

You don’t say anything, simply whimpering against his touch, reveling in the pleasure he’s giving you. You try your best to ignore his words, but him acting like this, teasing you, being such a fucking asshole… All it��s doing is exciting you more. And Aemond knows it, considering the way your cunt is squeezing around his fingers.

“Someone’s speechless,” Aemond taunts, “You’re just a dumb little baby, aren’t you?”

You mewl as he finally pushes a finger inside of you, your breath coming out in short pants as he begins moving, “N-no…”

“Aw, yes you are,” he coos, using his free hand to grip your jaw, “I’m about to fuck you stupid, you know that, right? The only coherent thought you’re going to have while I’m pounding into you is my fucking name. Not his. Mine.”

Aemond pushes a second finger inside you, making you let out a yelp of his name, the heel of his palm rubbing against your clit as he brings you closer and closer to the edge. You lean in slightly to kiss him, frowning when he dodges your lips.

He laughs, speeding up the movements of his fingers, kissing you, “You’re so cute.”

Apparently the fucker just likes getting you mad.

“I’m close, Aemond,” you mumble against his lips, feeling your muscles tightening as he continues pushing his fingers in and out of you at a relentless pace.

Your jaw drops in disbelief when Aemond pulls his hand away, giving your cunt a quick slap as he does. The sting is almost enough to send you over the edge, but it doesn’t, your peak escaping you. Before you can say anything, he’s pushing his pants down to reveal his cock, already achingly hard for you. He gives himself a languid stroke before running the tip along your already sensitive pussy, making you look at him, eyes wide.

“Beg me for my dick.”

“Please,” you whisper, gazing up at him, whimpering when he smacks his cock against your clit, “Aemond, I’m begging you, I need you.”

“What do you need from me, baby?” he insists, moving his free hand up to hold your chin between his thumb and forefinger, his gaze boring into you intensely, “Use your words. What do you need from me?”

“I need you to fuck me,” you nearly sob from desperation as he pushes inside you, only barely, “Aemond, please!”

“Say it again,” he hisses, barely able to hold himself back, wanting to tease you a bit longer, “Come on. Beg for it.”

“I need your cock, Aemond,” you plead, “Fuck me, please!”

And he finally pushes inside you. You let out a gasp as sheathes himself inside you. Aemond lets out a low groan, staying still for a moment, enjoying the feeling of your warm, wet pussy squeezing him tight.

“Such a good little cockslut for me,” he mumbles, looking down at where your bodies are joined, smirking to himself, “Taking me like a good girl. You’re my good girl, aren’t you, baby?”

You nod, gritting your teeth as Aemond begins moving, excruciatingly slow, “Yes, Aemond.”

He laughs, “No, no. I don’t think I want you to call me that. Try again.”

You look at him in confusion, “…Sir?”

“Hm, not quite,” he pulls back and slams into you, his cock brushing against that spongy spot deep inside of you.

“Fuck, Daddy,” you cry out, your legs moving to wrap around him, pulling him close.

“That’s better, baby,” he chuckles darkly, “Daddy’s gonna make you feel so good.”

You bury your face in his neck as he fucks you ahainst the kitchen counter, his thumb rubbing against your clit while he pounds into you. And Aemond was right. The only sound you’re able to make is his name. Or close enough.

“How does my cock feel, baby?” he growls in your ear, “Tell me.”

“Feels so good, Daddy,” you manage to moan, “Feel so good inside me.”

“Yeah, I know it does,” his hand that isn’t preoccupied with your pussy moves up to tangle in your hair, tugging on it roughly, “You’re not going on your fucking date tonight, baby. No, you’re gonna be in my bed, screaming my name, while I fuck this pretty little pussy.”

The thought doesn’t sound at all unappealing as Aemond gives your hair another sharp tug, making you moan as he continues pounding into you. His thumb presses down on your clit, sending you over the edge, squeezing his cock like a vice. But Aemond doesn’t stop. He moves his hands to lift your flimsy tank top up just enough to reveal your breasts, eyeing your pert nipples with delight, taking one in his mouth, biting down gently, Aemond’s long fingers deftly pinching at your other nipple, making you nearly squeal his name with pleasure.

He continues pounding into you, feeling his own climax approaching with how you’re squeezing him like a fucking vice. Aemond moves his other hand to squeeze at the flesh of your ass, moaning against your tit at how soft you feel, how pliable under his hands. Then, his finger begins to trace your puckered hole, teasing you as his hips begin to stutter, slowing slightly.

“Can I?” he whispers, gazing at you.

You know what he’s asking and you nod your assent, feeling both nervous and excited at the thought of what he’s about to do.

You feel your second orgasm approaching as Aemond spills himself inside you with a low growl. Now wanting to deprive you again, he pushes his finger inside you, earning a moan of his name as you squeeze around him. His other hand moves to slap your pussy, once, twice, finally sending you over the edge, all but screaming his name.

The two of you stand there for a minute, your knees feeling slightly weak from the entire experience as you gaze up at him. Aemond grabs a paper towel, wetting it slightly and cleaning you off, surprising you at how tender he’s being with you. Then, he opens the fridge and hands you a bottle of water, grabbing one for himself. You both pull your clothes back on, sitting there on the kitchen counter in silence for a moment, rehydrating yourselves after that rather… Intense workout, so to speak.

Aemond is the first of you to break the silence.

“You’re not still going out with him,” Aemond mumbles, slight insecurity coloring his tone, “Are you? You’re gonna… What I said?”

You hold back the giggle that threatens to burst from your lips, not wanting him to take it the wrong way, instead lowering your voice and whispering in his ear, “Of course, Daddy. You promised to make me scream your name in your bed, right?”

A wry grin spreads across Aemond’s face as he nods, “Yeah, baby. I did.”

You take him by the hand and lead him toward his bedroom, thanking your lucky stars that Hurricane Maegor fucked up your fall break plans. And Aemond?

He definitely owes Aegon for the gray sweatpants. Sometimes, Aegon really does know best.

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aziraphale-is-a-cat · 11 months

Text

Planned Obsolescence

Pt 1

Danny liked to think he had made a life for himself outside of the hero gig, that he'd put down the metaphorical cape, gone to fancy engineering school, and landing himself a job at S.T.A.R. Labs.

So walking into the main lobby at 6am he was understandably a little unnerved to find a member of the Justice League there, waiting for him.

"Dr. Fenton!" His boss called him over from where she'd been chatting with the new guests. "We've been waiting for you, come with us."

Danny was suddenly extremely uncomfortable, part of the main hero force of his home dimension was suddenly staring at him intently. If they'd been tipped off about his dead-ness then he was in a whole world of trouble.

"Uh, Dr. Norris, what exactly is going on?" He asked, nervously.

"We'll discuss it in my office, follow me."

The slowly walk up to the office was a new type of torture, trying to push down his panic and watching the hero watch him from the corner of his eye.

With his supervisor and him were Nightwing and some random Dude who, while not in costume, still held himself with his shoulders squared and his stance wide in the same way.

The guy must've seen him staring and introduced himself. "I'm Ted Kord, I work as a, uh, civilian contractor with the Justice League."

Danny's eyes narrowed but he didn't voice his skepticism. "Damn, how do you even get a job like that?" Kord, that sounded familiar.

The guests all shared a look as they stepped into the office, Dr. Norris finding her seat behind her desk. "Well actually, that's what we came here for."

Danny was immediately on edge, he wasn't on good terms with the government already. He remembered in that moment where he remembered the name 'Kord' from.

"This is about my parents' work, isn't it?" He accused, continuing when he got no response. "You're from Kord Omniversal," he said to Kord, "You wouldn't go running to S.T.A.R. Labs, your competitor, unless we really had something you didn't." He let the silence stew.

Danny had put a lot of work distancing himself from the legacy of his parents, going so far as to pull most of their research from public access once he gained ownership of it after their deaths. It really bothered him to still be associated with them and their body of work now that he had a name for himself and a reputation he had built on his own.

Awkwardly, Nightwing stepped up to fill the silence, doing his best to ignore the mounting tension.

"We know you have your parents' complete research, but while we need that your expertise in building and designing," he gestured with his hands as he searched for the right word, "unique machines-"

"You want me to build you a portal." Danny interrupted shortly.

"To another dimension, yes." Nightwing responded, cringing a little.

Danny rubbed the bridge of his nose, wishing to the ancients that he could just run off and be a hermit in the mountains. Appalachia would work well, a healthy supernatural community for occasional social interactions and minimal contact with stupid fucking humans.

"What would I get out of it?"

"Money, government contract, that looks good on a resume." Kord responded.

He looked to Dr. Norris, pleading with his eyes for a reason not to take it.

"Dr. Fenton taking on a contract with the Justice League would open up some in demand employment opportunities for you here at S.T.A.R. Labs, positions with better pay and access to better materials." She pushed him a manilla folder smiling, and when he opened it Danny saw contract pre-written, addressed to him.

He snapped it shut and took a deep breath to ground himself. "Where do you wanna go?"

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Being picked up for work via Zeta Tube was a new brand of surreal, even for a Teen-Hero Turned Engineer.

The automated voice called out his designation, "G-09: Daniel Fenton", as he stepped into his new temporary laboratory. The workspace was top of the line, and lined with cameras. The constant surveillance was going to make this very hard, seeing as he's now stuck with staying humans the whole time, and is no doubt going to be bugged going home.

Something was sketchy about this whole ordeal. Danny hadn't seen hide nor hair of any of the other members of the Justice League, and even though he's handling a task drenched in the occult, he hadn't had to consult any League Affiliated occultists.

Batman was notorious for going through research and experiments with a fine tooth comb, and yet Danny hadn't been called in to explain himself nor the obvious holes in the material he submitted to them, intentionally omitting parts both to keep the more dangerous parts out of government hands and to see where he stood.

And it appears he stood at the crossroads- holding, though his unique and specialized knowledge, all the cards. Nightwing was desperate, something had at least a few of the more senior members out of contact, including whoever they had that knew anything about magic and the multiverse. And it had everything to do with what was on the other side of the portal they wanted him to build.

Any magician worth their own ass knew that mechanical portals outside their own group of dimensions, known as a format due to their similarity in inhabitants and history, never fucking work. Spell portals were the only type that ever made it out, and it took an exceptionally strong caster to open one for even a few seconds.

Any portal trying to leave would just find themselves in the hub, the space between dimensions in a format, same as any portal without a destination or goal which is why it was relatively easy for the Fentons to punch a hole into the Infinite Realms.

As it stood Nightwing really should know that what he was asking of Danny should by all means be impossible.

He purposefully set his file box down on his desk Infront of a hidden camera, it would be hard to work around later when he needed the space but it was worth it to make his point. He knew he was being watched. And he didn't like it.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Walking into the nearly empty conference room, Dick Grayson slid onto the table and laid down. Being alone with some friends in the watchtower free to sit on the fancy, expensive surfaces however he wished sounded like childhood Dick's dream, but now it was just depressing.

"You know you're taking a massive risk with this one, right?" Cyborg asked from the head of the table. "I know our options aren't too great, but this is just miserable."

"Cy, we are beyond the point of miserable."

The half machine groaned and put his head in his hands. "Constantine would shoot us for even trying this bullshit, first for mixing tech and magic, then again for hiring a Fenton!"

"Yeah well, the blonde bastard is stuck with the rest of the League on the ruins of fucking Azarath, and Dr. Fate fucked off to whatever he's deemed more important than us so there's not much by the way of options!"

Cyborg massaged his temples. "This guy's tech is off." He pulled out the papers Dr. Fenton had submitted on his research. "I know confronting him about the inconsistencies will just scare him off, but it's not just that! The tech he brought in, I tried interfacing with it and it just repelled me. There's something wrong with it."

Nightwing rolled his head over to look at him critically. "Something magic? Something interdimensional? Because if so that's what we hired him for."

Cyborg opened his mouth to respond but at that moment a bright flash of light filled the room as The Flash zipped into the room.

"Hey so I know you guys told me to check out his old home for signs of that portal, but the whole place is fucking weird."

#dp x dc #dc x dp #danny fenton #dick grayson #nightwing #dpxdc #dcxdp #cyborg #victor stone #wally west #flash #ted kord #blue beetle

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noellefan101 · 8 months

Text

They Steal Your Hoodie-Genshin

Characters: Xiao, Cyno, Albedo, Tighnari, Venti, Wanderer/Scaramouche x gn! reader

Summary: They steal your hoodie and wear it, what do they think abt the act of doing so?

Warnings: Reader is taller, modern au(kinda)

Note: i did write one were you steal their hoodie instead, there the reader is shorter too, its here. and it deleted my venti one im so sad, wtf tumblr just WHY! anyway, love ya´ll

Xiao

he didn´t know what was so special about it, isn´t it just regular clothes. he also didn´t understand, why you were sad about being taller than him because you couldn´t wear his clothes. it just didn´t make sense to him, why was it different when wearing your partners' clothes instead of your own? he maybe thought some of your clothes were pretty but didn´t think about him wearing them instead of you. and yes, perhaps he thought about it a little before, but only did it because some of his friends asked if he had done that before(sry had no ideas). then one of the days you weren´t home, he had maybe gotten a little bored and thought about trying your hoodie on. he would have asked but of course, you weren´t home that day. so he just took a little look in your closet and picked out a hoodie you wear a lot. and just tried it on. for what he thought would just be a little bit, then turned into hours, where he was just lost in the softness of your hoodie. and then you got home... you thought it was cute, but he should just ask next time.

he wasn´t exactly someone to do this, but it was cute anyway.

Cyno

he didn´t think it was anything special and also didn´t think about doing it himself. until you had to go out for a few weeks because of some work. and oh my he missed you doing those weeks. he asked Tighnari about it, and if there was anything he could do to miss you less. of course Tighnari listed some things he could try, but the one that stood out to him the most was wearing a piece of your clothing. he hadn´t really thought about doing something like that, and definitely not without your permission, but he wanted to at least try. so a day were he was missing you an extra lot, he just took a little look into your closet. there wasn´t that much since you were out for some weeks, but there was still some of your hoodies you wear a lot. so he chose that and put it on, and it was so comfy and good to wear, he loved it. and then he also wore that for at least a few days. therefore when you got home, you got the site of him, in your hoodie, just sitting there chilling. you just said he looked cute in it, and went to your room to unpack, leaving Cyno blushing in the living room.

he was certainly strange, but you don´t mind, you like that.

Albedo

he doesn´t understand the act of doing so, therefore he decided to do some research. the first thing that he thought of doing to find out was asking people about it, but it didn´t seem like they wanted to talk about it. the second thing was doing it himself so... he may or may not have ended up trying on one of your hoodies/without your permission/and "forgot" to take it off afterward. but i mean you can´t really blame him, can you? it was so comfy, it smelled like you and it was way to big on him, witch only made it better. but the thing was you were coming home in a few minutes, and he hadn´t thought about how you would react. you of course didn´t have anything against it and just laughed it off, telling him he could just ask next time(like the good person you are ;D).

he didn´t think he could fall more in love with you, yet here he is.

Tighnari

he thought it was stupid, but he didn´t really mind it. i guess he just didn´t get why. like you have your own perfectly good clothes yourself, why steal/borrow your partner's clothes. this lead to him wanting to find out why it was such a special act. so... he looked in your closet and found you favorite hoodie, you wear it all the time. so he would just be "borrowing" that for the next few minutes, or so he thought. he didn´t actually think it would be this comfy, and then there´s your scent just stuck in the hoodie. he didn´t realize its been a few hours now and he´s still wearing your hoodie, its only when the front door opens and you step inside he remembers that´s he´s wearing it. you (being the best person on earth and teyvat)didn´t mind and left his red face alone/after kissing it a few many times/.

he didn´t think it would be that comfortable, maybe he just had to try it to find out why.

Venti

he thought it was cute, but didn´t quite understand why people did it. wasn´t it the same as wearing your own clothes, maybe it was the size difference, but then you could just buy oversized clothes. yeah, he didn´t get it, but that's okay, we all have to learn right. so he wanted to test it, and he didn´t really want you to know, he thought that would be either weird or embarrassing for both of you. so the day you weren´t going to be home all day he just maybe "borrowed" one of your hoodies. and he now understands how it is, and how its different. first of all it smelled exactly like you, it was kinda like you were hugging him. second, it was way too big for him, it was already big on you so on him, it was massive. third, it was so comfy he forgot time, and he only saw the time when you walked into your shared home. and uhm... it was something to come home to for sure, and he got really red after you asked whether was wearing. but it was fine in the end, plus you let him wear your clothes/with your consent this time/.

he looks like a tomato when you tease him, truly adorable.

Wanderer/Scaramouche

he thinks it's pathetic, why would he need to take your clothes when he has his own? for short, he thought it was so fricking stupid. but he was kinda interested in what was oh-so-special about it, and may have thought about taking a hoodie from your closet. so the one day he knew you weren´t going to be home most of the day, he tried it out. and he thought it was great, but still didn´t really get it. it was so big, comfy and smelled so much like the perfume you use. he liked it but the only problem was that he didn´t have as much time as he had wanted. reason being that he was way too hesitant about trying it on, he didn´t realize the time. and he had then wasted so much time, because you were a few minutes away from your home, and had texted him the same. when you came home, lets just say you were shocked. reason being, he had complained a few nights ago about how ridiculous it was to borrow your partners clothes, and said you could just buy your own clothes instead. but maybe it was little cute(don't tell him I said that, I will die at least 10 times. pls)

Although he said it was pathetic, he still did it, wonder what else he´s doing then.

Thanks for reading, luv ya-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

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jacks347 · 1 month

Text

(Is this stupid enough to be considered a crack fic?? Idk, we're going with it)

To say Hipswitch was surprised to see a woman sitting in his base next to Albus would be an overstatement.

Now, to say he was surprised to see said woman be so...dressed while sipping a cup of tea, that was accurate.

He'd never seen the demon bring back anyone who wore so many layers. Hell, now that he was really thinking about it, he hadn't really seen Albus bring back anyone at all. From the headscarf covering her hair to the skirt that brushed at her ankles and all the fabric and layerage of jewelry in-between, Hipswitch was getting warm just watching her.

The woman turned, smiling politely at him. She was rather pretty, warm brown skin with dark green eyes. Not necessarily someone he'd consider Albus’s type but everyone had their exceptions. "Hello there. You must be Hipswitch." Her voice was quiet and flowed like honey. She reminded Hipswitch of the ladies of the church in town, always speaking softly with inviting smiles. Definitely not Albus’s usual type. What, had he really gotten that bored?

"That I am. And who might you be?" Hipswitch took a seat across from the odd duo, eyes darting between the two in bewilderment. Albus huffed out a laugh, wrapping an arm around the woman's shoulders. "This is Faith. She a, ah, friend of mine." The woman, Faith, rolled her eyes with a small chuckle. "Mm, sure, friend. Let's go with that." She hummed as she took a sip of her tea.

Hipswitch nodded slowly, still going back and forth between them. It was very strange but he couldn't say he didn't appreciate the change. Hell, he welcomed it. Faith was polite, she was far more dressed than he expected, and she seemed very sweet. It almost brought a tear to Hipswitch's eye. "Well it's very nice to meet you. I've gotta say Albus, she's certainly a might better for you than the others from the whore house."

There was an audible beat of silence before it was broken by both a roar of laughter from Albus and a rather impressive spit take from Faith who was now coughing like mad as she tried to regain her composure while Albus was nearly doubled over in hysterics. Hipswitch was left rather confused, not exactly understanding why what he said had caused such a visceral reaction. "Did I say something wrong?"

The statement only made Albus laugh harder as Faith finally recovered, her cheeks flaming red and her face a heavy mask of embarrassment before kicking Albus in the shin. "Stop laughing! I've never been so mortified in all my life." She dropped her face into her hands, shaking her head before pulling herself back up. "How do I put this lightly..." Faith mumbled as Albus’s laughter finally petered off. "Oh Switchy, Faith is a sister paladin." He corrected, making Hipswitch raise an eyebrow in confusion. "A what?"

"A nun." Came a surprised voice, making Hipswitch jump as he turned to find the source of it. "Hey Doc, how long have you been standing there? Almost gave me a heart attack. And how do you know that?" The doctor leaned against the doorframe, staring at Hipswitch with a wide-eyed expression between shock and horror. "When Albus came on I decided to do some research on the medical practices of New Tennessee. Maybe there would be something there to help better treat Albus if I needed to. And well, most of the information was from or about the sister paladins. They're the main form of healthcare, they're essentially priestesses who learn medicine to take of the knight paladins. But they're known to treat anyone who comes to their temples." The realization slowly dawned on Hipswitch, his eyes widening as it did. No wonder she reminded him so much of the women of the church, she was one of them! Oh he fucked up. He fucked up bad.

"So, in case you missed it in that grand fucking speech, you just called a nun a hooker directly to her face." Albus clarified, though he really didn't need to. Faith sighed, the initial embarrassment fading into a kind of indignant rage. "Can I slap him?" Albus snorted a laugh, flashing a sly grin at Hipswitch. "Oo, watch out there Switchy. She's got a mean backhand and I'm almost willing to let her do it. You kind of deserve it." Hipswitch wished he could disappear. "I-I am so sorry ma'am! I would never think of implying you would be that kind of woman, I just assumed-" He spluttered an embarrassed apology, making Albus burst into another round of hysterical laughter as Faith cut him off with a shake of her head. "Don't apologize, I know you didn't mean it. You worked with what you knew, I can't blame you for that. Though I do still want to slap you. And you do kind of deserve it."

Faith got to her feet stiffly, fixing the layers of her outfit and narrowing her eyes at a still laughing Albus. "I think I've seen enough of Maya for one day. I've got to pick Kerano up from school." She leaned down to poke a finger into the warrior's chest. "Don't make me come back out here to check up on you. Had me worried sick for nothing." Albus’s laughter faded as he lightly smacked her hand away. "Gods, yes, I know. I won't, I promise." She nodded with a satisfied huff before turning to the doctor. "I'm glad I could help with your research, you know how to reach me if you have any more questions." "Of course! Thank you again, Sister. It's been very insightful having you here. I should go continue to look over those notes." He turned and headed back into his office as Faith turned to Hipswitch. "And you." Hipswitch gulped, expecting the worst. Maybe that slap Albus had warned him about. "Maybe actually talk to someone before assuming they're some kind of common hooker. I take my faith very seriously and even if I didn't, I'd be far outside of his price range." She smiled warmly before turning on her heel and heading for the door. "See you again boys!"

Albus’s head dropped back onto the couch with a snort. "Outside my price range, she's crazy." He muttered. Hipswitch quietly got up and moved closer to punch Albus in the chest, making the demon wheeze out a breath as his head snapped up to glare at him. "Fucking hell, what was that for?" "For not warning me! I made a damn fool of myself in front of a nun because of you!" "Well, she's not really a nun, she's a priestess." "Regardless! She's a woman of faith and I disrespected her in the worst way possible!" Albus waved his concerns off. "Ah don't sweat it. Give it a week, she'll be laughing over it. It was damn funny." "You're actually the worst, you know that?" "Oh I am well aware Switchy. You're not the first to notice." Hipswitch could only roll his eyes. Why did he have to care about this idiot so much? "Okay but tell me one thing." "Whatcha got Switchy?" "Have you actually slept with her?" "Would you be jealous if I said yes?" "Albus..." Albus chuckled lowly, shaking his head. "Sorry Switchy, this is one time I don't kiss and tell. That's up to you to figure out." He confessed with a shrug. "Out of all the escapades you've rambled on about, this is the one you keep quiet about?" "Faith is different, okay? She...she deserves to not have her story told. So I won't." He defended. Hipswitch sighed in defeat, stepping back. "I'll never understand how your head works." "Good, I don't either. So looks like we'll both be confused."

(...idfk how to end this so this is what you get. Yes I made this entire thing because there is a non-zero chance that Hipswitch would assume Faith is a hooker the first time he met her and that was so damn funny to me)

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terezicaptor · 3 months

Note

i have an offering. i was inspired by the post you made... about tubbo and pac... wrote this at work so it migth be a bit messy

A grin split across Pac's face as he finally spotted the person he had been looking for during the past hour. Shooting his hand up into the air he waved it until he got the bear's attention. Fred turned to him with a tilt of his head, the perfect picture of pure confusion.

“Is Tubbo a good kisser?” He asked, jumping straight to the point with what he knew was a stupid grin on his face.

Fred stared at him blankly. Although, Pac thought, he wasn't quite sure they could make any expression that wasn't blank due to the lack of human features that usually signified emotion.

“Why?” Fred signed.

Pac bounced on his feet, energy coursing through his body. “I'm curious. He seems like he would be a good kisser and I figured you would know since you two are…” he trailed off, not exactly sure what to call them. “You know.”

Fred stared at him a long moment before signing, “I do not know. We have never engaged in that particular action.”

Pac gasped, his hand instinctively flying to his mouth. “You haven't?? Wow. That's okay though. Fit hasn't kissed me yet either.” He laughed. “I would kiss him but I'm waiting for him to be ready. Take it easy take it easy you know?” he said in a humorous attempt at Fit's voice. “Hey I mean I could find out for you?” He offered, flinging his arms around to try and seem casual. Trying to not let any of the eagerness threatening to burst out of him shine through.

“Yes.”

Pac grinned, not being able to stop himself. “Sim, sim, great. I will find out for you, Fred.” Without another word or glance at the worker, he bounced off, pulling open his map to find out where Tubbo was.

Tubhaus was loud, machinery whirring loudly from all different parts of the man's factory. Tubbo stood in the middle of the main building next to a laughing Sunny. Pac bounded over and called out to them both. They both turned with matching smiles on their faces. “Oi!”

“Oi, Pac. What brings you here today?” Tubbo asked, one hand looped in the belt carrying his tools around his waist and the other dangling by his side.

Pac grabbed the one dangling by his side and lowered his voice, steeling his expression. “I'm doing a very important experiment.”

Tubbo's eyes lit up. “And you need my help?”

Pac nodded grimly. “Sim, sim, your help is exactly what I need.”

“Okay,” Tubbo said nervously, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “What do I do?”

The serious expression on Pac's face was finally broken by that. “Just stand here.”

Tubbo's eyebrows dipped down in confusion before Pac pulled him flush against his body with their connected hands and kissed him.

Pac wasn't quite sure what he expected but this, Tubbo grabbing his face with both hands and pulling him deeper into it, was not it. A noise of surprise escaped his mouth and he reached out to grab at Tubbo's waist. It was more passionate than he had expected, desperate.

They pulled apart with loud gasps from both parties and Pac felt dizzy looking into Tubbo's gorgeous swirling eyes. He hated water, that green and blue of waves but inside of Tubbo's eyes they were heavenly instead of scary.

“What the fuck,” Tubbo said with a slight laugh.

Pac pulled back giggling. “Oh you know research and stuff.” Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Sunny staring at him with wide confused eyes. “Anyway, bye Tubbo, bye Sunny!!” And before either of them could protest he was warping away.

THIS IS SO GOOOODDDDDD OMG

Fred just being like "??? OK you can go find out what kissing my not boyfriend is like ig" is so funny to me. Their ass does Not care.

And Pac's like it's cool my bf wants to take it slow too ^^ and then he's like time to go kiss this guy's not bf

Tubbo being sooo happy that Pac is there and then acting like Pac is acting wild like he wasn't the guy definitely trying to get some tongue in there okayyyy. the internalized homophobia is alive and real in tubchunk

THEN PAC JUST DIPPING LMAOOOOOO

You know Tubbo's ass is bragging to Fit later about kissing his boyfriend before he did.

#Fic #Mcyt fav tag #asks #qsmp #Pacbo #Tubpac #poly morning crew #frubbo #keirawantstocry

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cryingaboutit1514 · 3 months

Note

I just read your Fulgur hate sex fic, and holy shit man, that was some good food. Thanks for the meal-

I adore seeing dom reader, so if it’s not too much to ask (meaning I’m completely fine if you skip this request.) Could I get something similar, to the Fulgur fic, but with Vox instead?

I’m delulu, sorry-

Thanks for the lovely content tho!

Author's Note: dom reader dom reader dom reader *chants it like a spell* also tysm for the compliment widheie this request made me giggle n shit

Summary: Vox claims to be always dominant, that no one in the world could possibly make the voice demon submissive. You decide to find that out for yourself.

Contains: dom! reader, oh my sub Vox, disgusting smut, bondage, stuffing something in Vox's mouth to shut his ass up, degrading, my what a dirty fucking drabble this is (cant even count as a fic bc it's so fucking short wtf)

"I'm the most dominant male in all of NIJISANJI," VOX AKUMA declares, with a dramatic flip of his long black hair. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his dramatic self.

"I bet I could dominate your ass," you reply, leaning across the table.

You and Vox were hanging out at his home for an off collab. You two weren't streaming right now, however. that wouldn't be for a good couple of hours.

It would be a good idea to find out something you've been wanting to know for a while anyway.

Vox's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Oh? You think so?" He leans down to your level, elbow on the table to look you in the eye. "That's a rather brazen declaration, no?"

"I wouldn't say something and not back it up with anything factual," you answer, smiling innocently. "I'm not a liar, baby."

"Well I-" Vox pauses, suddenly catching onto the pet name. "I... well. Uh."

You've been watching his streams for a really long time, even before you became a streamer yourself. Let's say, you researched beforehand. One stream he had said the one thing that would fluster him was randomly flirting with him.

"What's wrong, my darling Vox?" You whisper, tapping his nose with a finger. He blinks, a small blush spreading through his cheeks. "Cat got your tongue?"

"Silly girl. You? You're just a cute little kitten trying to play with fire," he responds with a smirk, taking your wrist in his hand. "I'm double your size, sweetheart."

"The bigger they are, the harder they fall, yeah?" You reply calmly, not even fazed. "How about we make a bet?"

Vox raises a brow. "Hmm. Depends on what is at stake."

"Your pride," you grin, bringing his knuckles to your lips. "Or mine. Whoever moans or says the other's name, is the loser."

"What are you suggesting exactly?" Vox asks, trying to hide his smirk.

"Don't play stupid, demon," you scoff, biting his finger hard and he hisses slightly. "Sex. You. Me. Whoever breaks first is the loser."

"My, wanting to have sex with me that badly?" Vox chuckles. "Before stream? This could go on for hours and hours. I don't bow down that easily."

"Oh, you will," you say matter-of-factly.

You pick up your big bag from the floor and drop it on the table with a thud. You unzip without hesitation to reveal rope and a pair of handcuffs. And...

You pluck out a shiny collar and leash with a evil glint in your eye. "You'll be the one begging, Mister Vox Akuma."

"Kinky thing you are," Vox rumbles, watching you with growing lust in his eyes. "As if I'd let you put that shit on me."

"It's all apart of the bet. I'm sure you'll break within moments. But, if you don't want to and wanna pussy out instead..." You trail off, the edge of your mouth quirking up as you await his response.

Vox is visibly mulling the statement over as you spin the handcuffs with a finger. "How long do I have to hold out for?"

"An hour," you say, nodding. "I don't want to break you too much."

"Confident bitch," Vox retorts.

"Just get on the damn couch. We don't have all day."

Grumbling but obviously aroused; the tent in his pants evident. You chortle, bringing the "toys" over to his couch.

"So what, I just sit here and let you have your way with me?" Vox asks, plopping down on the couch.

"Without moaning like a whore," you add, snapping the rope with a tilt of your head.

"You're starting to scare me a bit with that look in your eye," Vox jokes as you slide into his lap.

You shrug, closing the distance between you and him. A feather light kiss as you slowly grind against his hard erection. The voice demon grunts softly, but is stubbornly refusing to give in.

You giggle against his lips, starting to bind his hands together. "You're already starting to break?"

"Listen here bitch," Vox growls as he leans forward, and you surprisingly don't fall back.

You tighten the rope harshly and you notice his hands twitch. You smirk. "What's wrong? scared of not being in charge? a pity."

He opens his mouth, probably to spit venomous words but you quickly shove a ball gag in his mouth. You clip it behind his head and sit back as his eyes widen in shock.

"I'm going to need you to settle down," you explain, scooting backwards until your feet touch the floor and you kneel on the floor. You begin unbuttoning his pants. "It'd be difficult for me to do this next part if you're squirming and all that."

A small chuff of disbelief, but he allows you to do what you wish. His length is released from its confine, standing to attention. Hard, and extremely girthy. In other words, Vox is fucking huge. But that won't be a problem.

With a hand, you begin to pump the base of his erection, tracing a vein with your fingertip. You observe his FACIAL expressions, the way his eyes darkened with each pump. You smirk, sticking out your tongue to press it flat against his tip. You lick his erection, the other hand rubbing circles over his slit that was already leaking pre cum.

With your ministrations, Vox grunted softly, your touches light and teasing. He wanted his cock in your mouth already, but you're too stubborn to do so. Pumping faster, kissing his fat tip lightly. Vox growls deep in his throat, getting agitated, fidgeting hands but them being tied up, he was helpless. Vox jerks his hips up slightly, almost slipping his cock inside your mouth if you weren't quick enough.

"Patience, big boy."

As punishment, you slow your pace, which causes Vox to groan through the gag. You smirk, finding his frustration rather amusing. Kitten licking his pulsating dick while his legs twitched.

Then you decide enough is enough, you want this man moaning already. Only fifteen minutes in.

You open your mouth and his cock hits the back of your throat. You can't fit the whole thing in your mouth, it would be impossible, so you stroke the base with a hand. Bobbing your head up and down and nearly gagging but not because your pride is on the line, duh.

Vox is obviously surprised by the sudden action, but isn't complaining. Head thrown back as his chest heaves, holding back any sort of sound. Biting down on the gag so hard, you were surprised it didn't break.

"What's wrong?" You ask for a brief moment, taking your air in before enveloping your mouth around Vox once more.

He grunts in response, bucking upward and repeatedly his tip touches the back of your throat. You groan, the vibrations shooting up Vox's cock and his legs quiver. Breathing rapidly as his eyes flutter shut, a small whimper slipping past his lips.

You instantly halt your movements, pulling away from Vox's length, the drool from your lower lip connecting with the angry red tip. Vox makes a sound, something between a whine and a protest. His cheeks are flushed red and the rope rubs against his pale skin harshly.

"Poor poor demon," you coo, digging your nails into his thighs. Vox closes his eyes for a second. "Do you want to cum? I know you're close. Just let out all the noises and I'll let you cum and let you go."

Something like a scoff comes out his mouth, refusing to meet your gaze. You roll your eyes, leaning close to his member and twirling your tongue on the tip. Another small whimper and a jerk.

You stand up and unclip the gag in his mouth and tilt your head. "What will it be, Vox Akuma? Either you give up and let me win, or I keep constantly edging you and edging you so bad, and do nothing about it until the hour is up."

You cock an eyebrow at him, waiting. You give his cock a lazy pump and he moans quietly.

"Alright, alright! You win! just..." Vox trails off.

"Hmm?" A harsh pump and he releases a shaky moan again.

"Let me cum," he begs, twisting his hands around the rope that restrained him. "please. I can't..."

You smile sweetly before going down on him.

Vox doesn't hide his loud moans anymore, sweat collecting on his skin as the orgasm hits him hard. Head against the pillow, mouth wide open as he whimpers and grunts and moans. Twitching and quivering and begging.

You found what you were looking for.

#nijisanji #nijisanji en #vtuber #nijien #nijisanji smut #nijisanji x reader #luxiem #Vox akuma #vox akuma x reader #Luxiem smut #Vox akuma smut

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memewhore · 1 year

Text

(Previous post for context)

I might have found some kind of ceremonial mound. I found a record of one other burial mound in this county and I found it and it's still standing - yay! It's right on the county border. But what the hell is across the road from it?? It's a mound-looking structure with tiers and an elongated flat top. On a farm. But I thought it couldn't be a mound because it's sitting right out in the open. Then I thought, "Ohhh, stupid me, it must be a reclaimed landfill! Duh!" But I did the research and there has never been a landfill there. Huh?? My dad said maybe it was a filled-in strip mine, but I was like, "Way ahead of you! Here's a map of every closed mine in Ohio - it's not there. There's never been a mine there, either."

It doesn't look like anything but a hill from the road, so maybe it's just big enough that people never really saw it. The back part with the lower level isn't visible from the road.

Reasons why this COULD possibly be an ancient mound:

There is a known mound right across the road, and several other smaller mounds and a native cemetery site (no mound) within 1-2 miles to the south across the county line.

It's next to a creek that later Native Americans used as a main travel route.

It's next to one of the main ancient trails in the county (the road now follows it.)

There's a cemetery next to it. No idea why, but SO many settlers and early towns built cemeteries next to or on top of burial mounds. Not always, but so often it's one of the first things I look for if I spot a potential mound.

The flat area on top of the mound is aligned exactly east-west. Ceremonial mounds were often aligned to the solstices or to important stars like Polaris. (The county line is slightly tilted. The mound is accurate, E-W.)

Other ceremonial mounds kinda look like reclaimed landfills. Here's Monks Mound in Illinois:

The oldest topo map I can find shows it there in 1944. The oldest aerial photo shows it in 1958. Being farmed. Btw, modern landfill regulations didn't happen until 1959. They mostly just burned or buried shit and called it a day.

So there's ample reason to investigate more. I just want to know WHAT it is.

And in related news, I'm now talking to the county Historical Society because I want to work with them and start a county "Prehistoric Preservation Society" because I am definitely already finding mounds. Most are small and I've found at least a dozen throughout the county that I'm certain are mounds and 50 or so more that look very likely. But this one and several other sites with big ones are the ones I want to focus on first because they'll be most likely to garner scientific interest.

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its-time-to-write · 7 months

Text

ch. 5 - hustling for the good life

table of contents

your boots beneath my bed

You, on the other hand, had done your proper research. Watched his highlights on Lust Conquers All and everything. You want to know what exactly your stupid brain is doing, thinking someone like that is cute or (retch) boyfriend material but who gives a shit because you’re probably not going to see him again.

You’re out of the hotel and in some tiny little cottage just outside of London. No paps, no PR agents or what-fucking-ever, just you, Natalie, and loads of fresh air. She finds you in the yard one morning, plucking a tune on a guitar and humming.

“That’s new,” she grins. “Gonna have a new single out soon?”

You raise a shoulder. “I don’t know. Maybe. Might just keep this one to myself.”

Natalie says hmm then turns on her heel to go back inside.

“Oh,” she says after a few steps, “you should at least send it to him. He might like it.”

“It’s not about anyone!” you call after her rapidly retreating figure.

“Sure!” she yells back. You flip her off and she says, “I saw that!”

—

Natalie’s booked some coffee shop concert for you, so you’re a little preoccupied with sound checks and meeting your temp band and promising to drink a latte as soon as you’re done singing because fuck sleeping.

It’s sold out which isn’t hard because the place is small, but it’s fun to sit on a stool and sing into a small microphone and be able to talk and joke like you’re the small-town artist you began as.

The crowd goes crazy when you strum the first few notes of Mango, as they sing along to the whole thing. You finish the set and begin thank everyone for coming when you see an oddly familiar face in the very back of the room. You’re not even sure how you caught it because again, it’s crowded, but there it is. He’s with some other people who you’re pretty sure are part of AFC Richmond, but you don’t care about that now.

You pause in the middle of your goodbye and say, “You know what, I’m actually going to play one more song. It’s a rough draft right now, so be nice to me. The working title is Poolside, and you guys are the first to hear it.”

You begin to pluck the repeating melody that’s been playing on repeat in your brain and start the first verse.

I know it’s a bad idea

And I can’t have you anyway

But you’re like a tiny bit of sunshine

I can’t seem to chase away

It’s terrifying and vulnerable in a way you’ve never been before. You’ve played songs for boys before, but never like this.

You were in a hotel room with Austin one night after one of his movie premiers and just giggling about how stupid it all was.

“I already have our breakup song,” you’d said, hopping down from the table. “Wanna hear it?”

Austin thought that was hilarious so he said, “Obviously,” so you grabbed your guitar from your room and strapped it on.

“Alright,” you said while strumming a bouncy tune, “this one’s a little more line-dancey than my usuals. So.”

Austin had tapped his foot while you sang, “A long time ago/in a land not so far away/we met in a bar/and you fucking said ‘hey.’”

It was silly as you both bounced around the room singing about your impending split. Neither of you cared because it wasn’t real, and you had recorded him singing a harmony on your phone.

You snuck it into the actual track months later, too faint for anyone to actually notice.

But that was the closest you’d ever been to directly singing someone their song. It was different with Mango because it wasn’t romantic.

And now it’s different with Jamie, because you’re singing about how dumb it is that you keep thinking about him asking if you were ok at that dumb fucking party.

You end the song to thunderous applause, and you’re pretty sure bootlegs are going to end up on YouTube within the hour. You don’t care. All you can think of is slipping to the back of the café to claim that latte then sneaking out the back.

“Nice one, girl,” Natalie remarks as she hands you a cup. “The label’s gonna love that.”

You smile. “They don’t care. I make them too much money for them to care.”

She rolls her eyes and opens her mouth to speak but just stops.

“Hello? Earth to Nat?” you say, waving a hand in front of her face.

“Hey,” says a voice from behind.

You spin around. It’s Jamie.

And god, he looks fucking fit in trackies, Gucci slides, and a neon orange shirt.

You can feel Natalie sneaking away behind you, and for once, you’re glad to be alone.

“Hey,” you reply. “How’d you get in here?”

Jamie smiles. “Keeley. She can talk her way into anything.”

You nod, still holding your latte. “Well, usually we have a strict policy about fans who try to come talk to me unannounced, but I guess for you, I’ll let it slide.”

Oh god, are you fucking flirting?

Jamie smirks. “Babe, I ain’t any old fan. Probably number one.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Uh huh. Right. And when did you decide you could call me babe?”

Jamie takes a step closer. “Right about the time Keeley convinced me to ask you out.”

You almost drop your coffee.

All you can say is a weak, “Oh.”

“She would love to,” Natalie pipes up from behind a stack of coffee beans. “I’ll get you her number and you can set it up.”

Jamie’s looking at you expectantly, and you suppose he probably wants your consent, not just Natalie’s.

You nod and say, “Sure,” with the same lack of conviction the oh held. Jamie’s expression ripples for a moment, but then he’s grinning and saying “Mint,” before saluting Natalie and exiting the way he came.

“What the fuck, Natalie,” you say. Your bones feel like jelly. “I can’t go out with him.”

“Yes you can,” she tells you. “And you are. It’s settled.”

Oh fuck.

—

He texts you the next morning.

hey it’s Jamie :)

I can’t be seen with you, you write back before you chicken out. The press would have a field day. I’m not looking for something public, so if you’re only in this to gain popularity, you’re out of luck.

It’s a little harsh, but you’re going to be open about this.

no worries, he says. paps r fuckgn annoying. we can do smthg small.

Turns out something small means sneaking into a restaurant where Jamie’s been going for ages. It has a small room in the back with windows you can see out of, but no one can see in.

“John’s been getting me back here for ages,” he says. “Haven’t had an issue with the press yet.”

It’s all so normal, the way he pulls out your chair and tells you what he likes to order. The way he’s making you laugh and asking you questions about your life, not the ones about your music, but the kind that are actually about you.

The server comes around with a bottle, and asks, “Wine?”

Jamie looks to you and you shake your head, barely suppressing a grimace.

“All good here, mate,” he says.

“Not a drinker?” he asks once the man is gone.

You hesitate. You’re about to cross into point-of-no-return territory.

“I- I don’t know, I can’t really smell it without thinking of my family. They’re all…”

Jamie nods. “I get it. Like me dad. Prick’ll be sober when he’s dead.”

“Yeah,” you say slowly. “Yeah, never had a family event without someone fighting. My mom’s the first one to get out, because she’s the youngest. She saw all that shit and decided it wasn’t for her. She went away to college, met my dad, and never looked back. Course, my uncles started showing up once I got famous. And my aunt, too. She’s probably the worst of all of them. She actually broke into my first apartment asking for money. She smashed a bottle and cut up my face pretty bad… I was nineteen and still trying to figure out my music career and stuff. I still have a scar on eyebrow from it. But, I wasn’t so famous that it ended up on the internet, so…”

You trail off again. Jamie’s looking at you all thoughtful. You’re not sure when he started holding your hand across the table, but there it is. It’s warm and calloused, and he doesn’t seem to care that yours is sweaty.

“My dad’s the same way,” he says softly. “Showed up a month back at a match. Fucking prick. But… can’t seem to cut him off, y’know? He’s fuckin’… family or some shit.”

“Hah,” you say, “That’s what Margarita’s about.”

Jamie’s silent for a moment. “Thought it was about how you really fucking liked limes,” he says finally.

That gets a laugh from you. “I do actually really fucking like limes. But enough about me. How’d you get into football?”

By the end of the night, you’re properly smitten. This boy knows how to flirt, knows all the right compliments and ways to brush his hand against yours or brush a stray strand of hair out of your face.

This is bad, you think as his lips touch yours. This is very, very bad.

table of contents

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

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shinelikethunder · 5 months

Note

Hello there! I hope you don’t mind me just dropping into your asks like this, but by all means def feel free to just delete this if so, it is kind of a weird ask.

This is the anon from the computer blog asking about a private laptop for collage! After doing (a small amount of) research into Linux, one thing that’s super confusing to me, is… how does one know which distro to use? You mentioned in the replies of the post that you use Ubuntu Linux, which seems to be one of the more popular ones. Would you recommend — and if so, why? Is it good for privacy, do you think? The best? Does the user need to have a good deal of experience with computers to keep it running? (I’ve never used a laptop before but I don’t mind trying to learn stuff)

Also this is an EXTREMELY stupid question my apologies, but how….. exactly do you put Linux on a laptop? OP from my ask said to buy a laptop with no OS but is that something you can do? I’d think so, since 0P works with computer and stuff as their job, but Reddit says that it’s not really possible and that you should just “buy like a Windows laptop and scrap the software”??? Is that… correct? How did you install Linux on your laptop — did y ou have to remove software off it or did you, as OP says, manage to find a laptop with no OS?

Again, feel free to ignore if you don’t wanna put in the time/effort to reply to this, I absolutely don’t mind — it’s a lot of stuff I’m asking and you didn’t invite it all, so ofc feel free to delete the ask if you’d like!

ha, you've zeroed in on one of the big reasons Linux is kind of a contrarian choice for me to recommend: the wild proliferation of distros, many of them hideously complex to work with. luckily, the fact that most of them are niche offshoots created by and for overly-technical nerds makes the choice easier: you don't want those. you want one of the largest, best-supported, most popular ones, with a reputation for being beginner-friendly. the two biggies are Ubuntu and Linux Mint; i'd recommend focusing your research there.

this isn't JUST a popularity-contest thing: the more people use it, the more likely you are to find answers if you're having trouble or plugging a weird error message into google, and the greater the variety of software you'll find packaged for easy install in that distro. some combination of professional and broad-based community support means you'll find better documentation and tutorials, glitches will be rarer and get fixed faster, and the OS is less likely to be finicky about what hardware it'll play nice with. the newbie-friendly ones are designed to be a breeze to install and to not require technical fiddling to run them for everyday tasks like web browsing, document editing, media viewing, file management, and such.

info on installation, privacy, personal endorsement, etc under the cut. tl;dr: most computers can make you a magic Linux-installing USB stick, most Linuces are blessedly not part of the problem on privacy, Ubuntu i can firsthand recommend but Mint is probably also good.

almost all Linux distros can be assumed to be better for privacy than Windows or MacOS, because they are working from a baseline of Not Being One Of The Things Spying On You; some are managed by corporations (Ubuntu is one of them), but even those corporations have to cater to a notoriously cantankerous userbase, so most phoning-home with usage data tends to be easy to turn off and sponsored bullshit kept minimally intrusive. the one big exception i know of is Google's bastard stepchild ChromeOS, which you really don't want to be using, for a wide variety of reasons. do NOT let someone talk you into installing fucking Qubes or something on claims that it's the "most private" or "most secure" OS; that's total user-unfriendly overkill unless you have like a nation-state spy agency or something targeting you, specifically.

how to install Linux is also not a dumb question! back in the day, if you wanted to, say, upgrade a desktop computer from Windows 95 to Windows 98, you'd receive a physical CD-ROM disc whose contents were formatted to tell the computer "hey, i'm not a music CD or a random pile of backup data or a piece of software for the OS to run, i want you to run me as the OS next time you boot up," and then that startup version would walk you through the install.

nowadays almost anyone with a computer can create a USB stick that'll do the same thing: you download an Ubuntu installer and a program that can perform that kind of formatting, plug in the USB stick, tell the program to put the installer on it and make it bootable, and then once it's done, plug the USB stick into the computer you want to Linuxify and turn it on.

Ubuntu has an excellent tutorial for every step of the install process, and an option to do a temporary test install so you can poke around and see how you like it without pulling the trigger irreversibly: https://ubuntu.com/tutorials/install-ubuntu-desktop

having a way to create a bootable USB stick is one reason to just get a Windows computer and then let the Linux installer nuke everything (which i think is the most common workflow), but in a pinch you can also create the USB on a borrowed/shared computer and uninstall the formatter program when you're done. i don't have strong opinions on what kind of laptop to get, except "if you do go for Linux, be sure to research in advance whether the distro is known to play nice with your hardware." i'm partial to ThinkPads but that's just, like, my opinion, man. lots of distros' installers also make it dead simple to create a dual-boot setup where you can pick between Windows and Linux at every startup, which is useful if you know you might have to use Windows-only software for school or something. keep in mind, though, that this creates two little fiefdoms whose files and hard-disk space aren't shared at all, and it is not a beginner-friendly task to go in later and change how much storage each OS has access to.

i've been using the distro i'm most familiar with as my go-to example throughout, but i don't really have a strong opinion on Ubuntu vs Mint, simply because i haven't played around with Mint enough to form one. Ubuntu i'll happily recommend as a beginner-friendly version of Linux that's reasonably private by default. (i think there's like one install step where Canonical offers paid options, telemetry, connecting online accounts, etc, and then respects your "fuck off" and doesn't bug you about it again.) by reputation, Mint has a friendlier UI, especially for people who are used to Windows, and its built-in app library/"store" is slicker but offers a slightly more limited ecosystem of point-and-click installs.

(unlike Apple and Google, there are zero standard Linux distros that give a shit if you manually install software from outside the app store, it's just a notoriously finicky process that could take two clicks or could have you tearing your hair out at 3am. worth trying if the need arises, but not worth stressing over if you can't get it to work.)

basic software starter-pack recommendations for any laptop (all available on Windows and Mac too): Firefox with the uBlock Origin and container tab add-ons, VLC media player, LibreOffice for document editing. the closest thing to a dealbreaking pain in the ass about Linux these days (imo) is that all the image and video editing software i know of is kinda janky in some way, so if that's non-negotiable you may have to dual-boot... GIMP is the godawfully-clunky-but-powerful Photoshop knockoff, and i've heard decent things about Pinta as a mid-weight image editor roughly equivalent to Paint.net for Windows.

#anonymous #recs #linux

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corvidcircus · 1 year

Note

If you're still taking requests maybe how vergil and dante's s/os react to them coming back from hell eventually after the end of 5? :) I don't know how long they spend there but I know I'd go crazy if it was more than a few months... Love your writing! ❤

The Return

(post-DMC5, by roughly ten months)

Vergil's S/O-

you've been outwardly calm, and internally screaming

you were actually V's S/O

V told you about the whole situation just after he told Trish

the qliphoth was the first time you met Vergil, but he looked at you adoringly, just like V did

he softly assured you they'd be back, and leapt into the underworld within seconds of ending his bout with nero, leaving you scrambling to understand what was happening

you've been working to distract yourself from the fact that he's gone, and the fear he may not come back

you never really got to meet him, and he might be gone for good

it hurts

you hate it

the crew have noticed

you dont sleep well, you wont eat much, you're irritable and distracted

10 months later you are very close to giving up hope

youre on a job and suddenly both twins are just... there?

it throws you off balance and if it weren't for them covering you, things would've gone very poorly

you finish destroying the portal and the stragglers

you stop and actually see him for the first time

you don't remember moving, but you blink and you're across the room, crying, face shoved into his chest, clinging to him for dear life

he stiffens and then slowly returns the embrace

it takes a minute for you to get your breath back

you recognize pieces of the poet you knew, enough to gently tease him

"You're late, and in a lot of trouble," he winces apologetically

"but goddamn did I miss you."

that earns a small smile

("And I, you, my dove.")

Dante's S/O-

you're pissed, at first. mainly because before the Vergil fight you told him not to do anything ridiculously stupid.

mans had 1 job: he failed

after about 5 weeks, you start getting a little worried

the tree is mostly gone, so they must have succeeded in taking out the roots

the longer that goes by the more you think about something Nero said when he told the crew what happened

that they never said they had a plan to get back, in fact he seemed to think they may not be able to get back out of the underworld

the whole arcane research thing is not typically your go to for dealing with demons

why bother when hitting them with a sword is more effective

but without yamato, portals are hard to create, and even harder to control

you spend months running down any option you can think of to at least get to or from the demon world

it takes another 8 1/2 months to finally find something that you think might work

it doesn't

then after passing out, upset and exhausted, you startle awake at the sounds of the doors flying open

you must still be dreaming, because that looks like your devil

who's trapped in hell

right?

cue a dante patented stupid joke to diffuse tension

you quite literally vault over the desk into his arms and just feel that hes back

*hug*"I'm so happy you're back!"

and exactly 4 seconds later

*hitting him repeatedly* "Never fucking do that again!"

Bonus Nero's Reaction-

he's super fucking pissed off

ah yes lets leave the kid (with severe familial abandonment issues) suddenly without his family

remains fairly angry when the topic of either twin is brought up

but the longer that goes by, the more anger becomes distress, and eventually resignation

concerned, but unsure how to help Vergil's S/O

very bothered by the 'empty look' when he does jobs with VS/O

confused, exasperated, but not surprised at Dante's S/O's actions

a little tiny bit scared of the non-stop manic energy DS/O is embodying

first time seeing the twins back, he has way to many emotions to deal with so defaults to anger

likely throws down with either/both

the rage burns hot and fast this time, so the fight is messy and short

basically ends in him storming off and giving them the cold shoulder until someone makes the first move

(probably nero or dante lets be honest here)

*this is the headcannon version, there may end up being fully written one shots later

#devil may cry #vergil #dante #devil may cry 5 #dmc #vergil x reader #dante x reader #bonus nero #writing requests #request fill #my writing #dmc x reader #devil may cry headcanons

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noperopesaredope · 1 month

Text

Disclaimer: I barely know what I'm talking about. I'm just putting some thoughts out there because I'm honestly confused about some things. These are the words of someone who can barely understand what anyone is saying and also trusts no one on the internet. I've accepted that I am too stupid to understand this conflict and no matter how much research I try to do, I will never understand any of it. Believe me, I have tried. These are the ramblings of a confused idiot who is out of the loop on everything and will never really be in the loop.

You can add your own thoughts or disagree. But don't yell at me for my thoughts. I've tried to educate myself, but that has failed. But I still want to throw some thoughts into the discussion using my limited understand of everything. I will likely be turning off notifications to this post if too many people shout at me for not understand shit or agreeing with them, so probably don't try to change my mind. Just say what you want to say and add your own essays in the reblogs.

~~~~~~~~~

I've been trying not to say too much about the Israel-Palestine conflict (not just Gaza, but in general) since it's so complicated and messy and I'm not informed enough on another country's massive, decades-long conflict for me to feel comfortable commenting on it. However, I have had a little nugget in my brain that has been bothering me for a while now. A common Zionist argument I occasionally see is that Palestinians aren't actually "indigenous" to the region of Israel-Palestine, and that they are invaders. They came from somewhere else to live in that area, and therefore aren't "the true people of Israel." But I find this argument rather silly and a bit hard to believe.

First off, and I'm not even saying this as an argument against Israel, but isn't the whole point of Jewish mythology (mythology is the technical term) that Israel is "the Promised Land?" As in, the end point? The final destination rather than the start? Maybe I'm confused and need to brush up on Jewish mythology, but from what I remember, the Hebrews came from a different region in the Middle East, then migrated to the region where Israel is. Therefore, they didn't exactly "originate" from there either.

It's also kind of hard to believe that there weren't already other people who were living there already. And then Abraham and his family moved to Egypt anyways due to drought, and the Hebrews were there for hundreds of years before coming back to Israel. And by the time they'd come back, a bunch of other ethnic groups had already made their homes in Israel, as people had been doing likely long before Abraham and his family first came to the region.

And even if Abraham and his family originally came from that region, Abraham already lived in civilization. Civilization still existed there, and people were still living there. Abraham was basically part of a different ethnic group before he created the Hebrews. Therefore, the Hebrews would be from Israel, but so would all of the other people already living there who weren't descendants of Abraham.

Whether or not you believe that the region belonged to the Hebrews by the will of God, all those other mfs were still living there first. You can say that you own the land because God said so, but you can't truthfully say that all the people who were there before Abraham was even born are not native to the region.

Even if we're not looking at Biblical accounts, realistically discussing archaeology and patterns throughout history leads us to the conclusion that there was no singular native ethnic group in Israel.

It is well known that Israel has had, like, hundreds of different peoples who have lived there at different points throughout history. It has switched around a lot of times, and has definitely had multiple ethnic groups living there at the same time. It is a region that has historically been diverse, and many have called it home.

On top of that, who is to say that Palestinians aren't actually also natives to that region? I've heard some people say that the Palestinians are decended from Arabs who invaded the region, but is it really true that all of them are of Arab decent? Again, this area is incredibly diverse, and I'm pretty sure it was ethnically diverse even before Israel was founded. It's unlikely that

Also, haven't the Palestinians been living there for thousands of years anyways? Because in that case, I'd say it's questionable to declare a pretty diverse group of Middle Eastern brown folks to not be native to a region they have been living in for hundreds/thousands of years.

Especially when a large number of those who moved to Israel when it was founded (refounded?) back in 1948 were of white European decent. I believe that Israel is still the homeland of the Jewish people, but is a white Jewish person whose family has been living in Europe for hundreds of years really more native to the Middle East than a brown person whose family has been living in Palestine for hundreds of years?

Like, I see these white ass mfs sitting here saying "I belong here more than you" to these brown people who have been there for generations. This statement is not about Jewish folks who have been living in the Middle East for generations, mainly just those of European decent who declare that the land belongs to them more than those who have been there forever.

I still believe that the Hebrews should be considered "indigenous" to Israel, but to say that they are more indigenous seems disingenuous when both groups migrated to the region. No one group has ever been the true native group of that area, and I feel that either side arguing that the other is not native to the region is full of shit.

We don't know who is native to the region. We barely even know if Israelis and Palestinians each are made of singular ethnic groups. So I feel like declaring the "One True Indigenous Group" is pointless and redundant to the discussion. Either both are or neither are. Shut the fuck up.

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