#like sorry but i hate when people act like dean is the one and only factor in the changes of cas' personality
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Maybe a bit weird but yandere big bad wolf jk and small sheep oc/yn?
pairing : yandere wolf jk x fem sheep hybrid reader
genre : smut, yandere
A/N : a quick smutty drabble rn because I'm writing a one shot for it and it's halfway done. I just need to do a quick dump bcs the one shot is kinda long and it's making me hit writers block 😭😭😭😭. this might not be the best tbh but I promise the one shot will be way better.
yandere wolf jk who's a perfectionist at uni never missing a class, always has a 4.0 GPA and never failed to made it in to the deans list.
and then one day he saw you, barging in to the class late mumbling sorry and sitting right in front of him,your scent covering his nose almost instantly,his ears tensing up as he grumble mate slightly under his breath.
he reached for you after class finished, hands grabbing your arm tightly, he leaned his face in, a wolfish grinned adorning his face as he greeted you
you who was timid,fearful and easily panicked,breathed out your name gently hands shaking from the sudden interaction. you can't help it of course it's in your nature to act that way :(
before he could ask you about how he's never seen you in the class before, you snatched your arms from him, legs stuttering to get out of the room as fast as you can, his scent was overwhelming, making your thoughts go hazy from fear.
jungkook frowned as your figure scrambled out, hands forming a fist as he make a silently vow to himself to get you again.
he met you again next on the campus hallway, hands barely holding on to the thick text books you carried as you sauntered around,trying to get into the professor office before bumping against some jock, your knees crashing on the hard tiles as the books fell from your grasp, gasp leaving your lips from the pain. the hallway turned silent, people watching you trying to gather books, you wanted to wailed from the attention you're receiving, your knees ached from the impact,blood oozing out from the cuts it received
jungkook immediately rushed up to you, shooing people away as he kneeled down, his hands quickly collect the books as he helped you stand up. he cooed at the fat tears that was sliding down your face, "its okay baby you're okay they're gone know" he fussed wiping your tears away
you sobbed,wiping your face at the sleeve of your sweater, the nickname he gave you went unnoticed as he continued to caressed your face.
"let me help you bring these and then we'll go to the infirmary to take care of your knees, okay?" he offered not giving you time to answer before he grabbed your hands,his other hand holding the books easily as he sauntered to the office
after that it was easy for jungkook to make you his,everyday he would take you out for coffee,sit beside you in class, and helped doing your assignments. he'd pamper you endlessly, slowly convincing you to sleep at his place instead because it was too dangerous for you to sleep alone and you who was dumb,naive and gullible believed everything he said.
he'd make you move to his apartment too, because it's such a hassle for his baby to be going back and forth at all and he doesn't like the thought of you being all alone so please move in with me baby, I don't like being apart from you :((((
jungkook Hates when you start talking or making friends with other people because you're his and only his to have, it's not hard to make you stop talking to these people of course, your timid nature making it easy for him to remove people from your life.
he'd tell you everyday, gaslighting you into thinking about how your friends view you as an easy target and how you will always be a Second choice to them, how you would easily get stampede if you keep hanging around with people other than him.
you'd believed everything he said, the thought of leaving the home you thought as a safe place become more and more distasteful making you switch all your classes to online instead, which ofcourse was jungkooks Idea.
jungkook loves to fuck you, he loves rubbing your wet pussy through your panties while you're sleeping, hips unconsciously humped against his hands as moans left your lips,his hands would move the panties sideways, thumbs slowly rubbing your clit, drawing 8 figures on it making you reach your qlimax, soft pants leaving your lips.
he'd fuck you on top of the kitchen counter, your front leaning on it, clit grazing against the counters corner everytime he thrust forward. cold marble pressing against your chest as jungkook pulled your hair back, his hand reaching down to pinch your nipple making you squeeze more around his cock
"aah...aah ple..please" you mewl hands rubbing your clit, desperate to reach your orgasm. jungkook grunts, his hands smacked you ass,groaning as he watched it jiggle "please what slut", he rasped hips bucking faster as he leaned down, lips sucking your necks making your eyes rolled back from the pleasure
"uh...ugh...cum please" you cried out, jungkook reached down hands smacking your pussy as he yanked your hair back "fuck..baby..cum" he choked, you wailed as you squirt against him,body trembling, eyes rolling back as your pussy pulsate againts his cock. "fuck fuck fuck" jungkook sobbed out as he reached his climax, filling your hole with so much cream it drips out.
he pulled out,wincing slightly before plugging his hand up your hole, preventing his cum from dripping down your hole "can't let this go to waste hm".
jungkook loves it when you got your heat he'd fuck you on every surface in the house. he'd fuck you on the couch when the movie's still playing,on the bathtub while letting the shower jet hits your clit , on the floor where he'd fuck you so hard you could barely from a sentence.
jungkook loves you so much he'd kill for you. he would easily get rid of anyone that he thinks might be a threat to your relationship.
he'd do anything for you as long as you don't leave his side,so don't even try to think about doing it it okay?.
#jungkook fanfic#jungkook scenarios#jungkook x reader#jungkook#bts fic#bts#jungkook drabble#jungkook x y/n#jungkook hybrid au#jeon jungkook x you#yandere jungkook#jungkook yandere#yandere!bts#yandere!jungkook#yandere bts#male yandere#x reader#jungkook imagine#bts x reader#bts x you#jungkook x female reader#jungkook x oc#jungkook smut#bts smut#bts x y/n#bts x oc#jungkook bts#bangtan#jungkook fic recs#jungkook fic
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Dean or Sam Winchester x reader that’s really touch starved/clingy
Touch starved
Sorry this took me so long to get to! I did both sam and dean!!
Dean:
starting off, I feel like dean wouldn't really mind, only because he really likes physical affection too, but just doesn't act on it
He would def act like it annoys him though, he doesn't want to lose that 'tough' exterior.
Will definitely warm to it though!
Finds it cute that your so affectionate this way, and it fills him with pride every time you come find him.
Here's some headcannons abt once he's warmed up to you:
110% his face anytime he's hugged or cuddled from you ^
It's not uncommon to be cuddled up to him on an uncomfy motel couch as you two watch Scooby-Doo
If you ever wake up in the middle of the night while cuddling with him, you'll find him cuddled up to you, almost protectively
Definitely hates waking up, and just pulls you by the waist when you try to get up so you can keep cuddling
Will only admit he likes to cuddle and be physically affectionate when he's tired or drunk off his ass-
Not surprisingly, he also doesn't mind the other little forms of physical affection, like holding hands, or just generally being pressed onto him like your glued together-
Once he's warmed up to it, you can't escape it, he's always hanging off if you pretty much
Being a hunter doesn't provide comfort, and he loves that he can find that comfort in your hugs and cuddles
Will 100% come find you and just throw you over his shoulder to cuddle with you, does not care what your doing.
Hugs you daily, but says he hates it.
He'll always act annoyed, but he secretly adores it when you practically hang off of him while he's doing something, important or not
I like to think that when you hold hands, he's the kind of guy to rub the back of your hand with his thumb
LOVES fiddling with your hands while he's reading something, makes him focus better
Is a suckler for cuddling, also because your so warm-
Most of these ones were about cuddling I'm sorry-
Sam:
More open to it in some ways then dean, but he takes WAAAAY longer than dean did to fully warm up to it
Bby is so nervous and scared that if he fully warms up to you, he's just gonna lose you like Jessica, so he doesn't really reciprocate that much...
But once he does... you better look out
Lives for just coming home from a long hunt and flopping down on top of you
Bby is a certified cuddle monster
He has dragged you from rooms on multiple occasions just to cuddle with you.
Loves when you try to hang off his arms like a koala.
OOH! Sam having such long limbs makes cuddling so much more relaxing, he's practically like a cocoon for you, ESPECIALLY if he's the big spoon!
I feel like he wouldn't really be that big on reciprocating your clinginess around other people or in public (whether you're on a hunt or not)
He does like to carry you on his back while looks for books though, and you do too tbh
Finds you absolutely adorable when your clingy, not that he doesn't all the time anyway, but it's Moreso then usual
Lots of tickle fights or little chomps from him while you guys cuddle, he just can't help himself!
Loves how you always wanna just be practically glued to him, makes him feel loved <3
When he's researching, your cuddles are the only thing that can make him take a break.
Pokes fun about how small you are compared to him when you cuddle, calls it cute that someone could be tiny like that.
LOVESLOVESLOVESLOVES hand holding and comparing hand sizes!!
Wearing one if his absolutely huge shirts or flannels is instant cuddles, use that to your advantage.
Likes to cuddle when he actually takes breaks from research, I mean REALLY likes cuddling
Is like dean where he loves cuddling with you cuz your warm asf-
#supernatural#spn x you#sam winchester x y/n#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester x you#dean winchester#sam winchester#dean winchester x reader#dean x you#dean x reader
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I hate when people seem to misunderstand Troy and Abed's relationship as being actually like what Vice Dean Laybourne tried to make them think it was. He didn't understand them, he understood just enough to present a simplified, stereotypical version of what they have. Like yes Abed was initially a little inconsiderate in his response to Troy, but honestly as an autistic person, I understand very well the frustration of having something planned out, being very focused on it, having an agreement with someone, and then they suddenly want to change it. People exaggerate how stubborn he was, he was literally about to give in before Laybourne manipulated him.
And he actually does that quite a lot. In the initial buildup of their friendship, he does things like take cues from Troy's behaviour and try to "mess with" him, because that's what Troy teaches him friends do. He's trying to connect on Troy's level. He plays basketball with him, engaging in interests he doesn't necessarily share, he tolerates Troy's competitiveness and lets him win the race to make him happy. It's Troy who has to get past the attitude that friends only do things for him and not the other way round.
And he does learn to be a good friend, but the idea that Abed doesn't show up for him just as much is bizarre. In Epidemiology, he's insistent that if only one of them survives, it should be Troy. He listens and supports him with the AC repair vs plumbing thing, and it is Troy who decides that he just wants to watch tv with him. When Troy goes to the AC repair school, Abed doesn't try to talk him out of it, even though he's devastated. He's upset when Troy and Britta get together, but he doesn't put that on Troy himself.
He listens to Troy about the impersonator thing, despite deep fears of being controlled, and honestly seems more concerned about their friendship than his own safety. He goes along with the body swap bit at a moment's notice, goes to a restaurant he previously said he couldn't go to, puts up with the waiter badmouthing one of his favourite movies, and breaks up with Britta for Troy. When he's so upset about Troy leaving that he hallucinates lava, he jumps into said lava in order to let him go.
And I especially hate when people, just like Laybourne, use the Inspector Spacetime thing to argue that their relationship is unequal. Like sorry, in other instances, Abed is more than willing to play the villain (Kickpuncher, Alien) or love interest (Kickpuncher) or sidekick (their shadow puppets) to Troy's hero. They do Bert and Ernie, who are equal partners. When they do Calvin and Hobbes, yes he's Calvin, but that's notably something only Troy has expressed an interest in him doing before.
Yeah Inspector Spacetime is a more frequent thing for them, but it's pretty clear that's a really special character for Abed. In Virtual Systems Analysis we can see him use the character to express how he's different from other people. Which, yeah, an autistic person connecting with what is essentially the Doctor...go figure.
Like, look at when he lists characters he thinks are like him: "Data or Johnny 5 or Mork or HAL or K.I.T.T. Or K9 or Woodstock and/or Snoopy. Spock goes without saying." None of those are human. Several robots. Most are not the main character. One is an antagonist. It's probably not often that Abed feels this deep a connection to a character who is undeniably the hero, and while not human, still shows human characteristics. And there's no way Troy is unaware of that.
And by the way, Troy never seems remotely unhappy about playing Constable Reggie until Laybourne talks him into it. And never again afterwards. In fact, when Abed is full on trying to act "normal" at Shirley's wedding rehearsal, Troy talks him into playing Inspector Spacetime...with this ridiculously tender look of love on his face.
It's just...it's a severe mischaracterisation of them both, articulated by a clearly manipulative character, and it bothers me when I see people fall for it.
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Hey ! Can I requestJason Dean x reader (she/her) where the reader is getting a lot of male attention and Jason get jealous, but reader calm him down and assure him that she love him ect...
Hey!! Sorry it took so long, I'm back in school and it's taking up quite a bit of my time, but I do try to put in a little bit each day when I do have time :) I realize you probably meant that JD and reader (most likely you ;P) were already together, but I went the friends to lovers route :>
JD watches as Kurt and Ram stand on either side of you, leaning next to your locker with sly smiles on their faces. He doesn't care what they're saying, he doesn't care what you're saying. He wants them out of his sight and away from you, he wants them gone. You quickly notice his gaze, dipping between Kurt and Ram grateful to get away from those two as you rush over to your best friend
"Hey, I was wondering where you were!" You say as he keeps his gaze off of you, a sour expression on his face as he closes his locker a little too hard, making some freshman next to him flinch like a gunshot just went off before scrambling away. You know something is wrong immediately as he doesn't act like this often. "Hey, what's going on?" You ask him, leaning back against the locker next to him, leaning so your face comes into his vision. JD takes a deep breath through his nose, trying not to lash out at you, as he knows you did nothing wrong. But he can't stop the fire burning within him, up his back and chest and into his brain, making his whole intentions fuzzy with pure anger. He shouldn't be this jealous over his best- and only- friend, you should be able to flirt with people, be flirted with, go on dates with anyone you want without him hating them with a burning passion that rivals even the hottest flames of hell.
"JD, come on. Are you alright?" You ask him. You have no idea what gets him like this, you just hope it's not something you did. He takes a couple deep breaths, scrunching his eyes shut. His chest feels like it's caving in, just breathe, in and out, in and out, in and- fuck it. "No, why would I be? All the time, I have to watch guys flock to you like you're some sort of goddess, I can't stand it!" He says, hitting his locker by accident. Well, you think it's an accident. "What? You're not my boyfriend, you have no right to be jealous of guys that I don't even like." You say, crossing your arms. It pains you to say it, but it was a knee-jerk reaction. One that you wish you could've thought about, because now you kinda seem like a jerk to the boy you like who also just happens to be your best friend. He sighs, rolling his eyes and running his hands through his hair. "But I want to be. That's the whole damn point, I don't want to watch these guys crowd around you all the time, call me selfish but I want it to just be me." He says.
You're stunned, you can feel your face go both cold and hot at the same time, you don't even know what to do. "What?" You finally manage to say. "Yes!" He says in an exasperated tone of voice. The bell rings and he walks away, only for you to follow him. "JD, come on, don't just walk away!" You say, and you can't help the smile tugging at the corners of your lips. When you finally catch up to him, he looks even more annoyed than before, and this time it is kind of at you. "Why the hell are you smiling? This is funny to you?" He spits, and you smile only wider."Im tired of them too, but that's not the point." You say. JD looks kind of pissed, but he's going to listen to what you say, because you're the only person he'd ever trust, and he doesn't want to change that now. "The point is, that I love you, Jason." You tell him. His whole face becomes one of shock and just.. awe. "What." He says, it doesn't even sound like a question.
"I said I love you. And only you. So-" You start, but the bell rings again. The halls are empty and the school security guard starts to do that slow waddle/walk thing towards you both, so you both bolt in separate directions and try to get to class before you're caught without hall passes. You might have gotten to class late, and your teacher is totally pissed, but you could really care less.
#heathers the musical#heathers#heathers movie#jd heathers#jd x reader#jason dean#jason dean x reader#jason dean imagine#heathers fanfic#oh hello little anon
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Only Us
Requested by: @desimarie12
Pairing: Crowley x fem!reader
Genre: Smut
Characters: Y/N, Crowley
Description: Y/N and Crowley are in a secret relationship. They show they both hate each other when they’re around other people which can lead to punishments in the bedroom.
You and Crowley were a match made in hell although your relationship would be very much frowned upon, even hated, if anyone ever found out. You were a hunter and he was the king of hell. That’s why you both had to put on an act when your hunts collided with his demon activities, especially when you were with the Winchesters.
“Ah, Moose and Squirrel, we meet again. And you, little mouse. You look rather beautiful today.” Crowley shot you a smirk as he looked you up and down. Sam stepped in front of you to shield you from Crowley’s view. You shook your head and flashed him a smile before saying. “Nice to see you again, Fergus. Tell me, when exactly are you going to become useful and stop interfering with everything.”
The smirk completely vanished from Crowley’s features and was replaced with a snarl whilst Sam and Dean were nearly on the floor with laughter. “I’m sorry Crowley, but you just got owned.”
Keeping the relationship a secret made things a lot more exciting when you were both reunited with the other. Feelings were heightened from the pent up frustrations of the hateful words said but you both knew that there was nothing meant by them. You loved it, though, when Crowley was frustrated because it meant that he would take it out on you and you thrived off it.
------
He had you pinned up against the wall, his hand squeezing the corners of your throat and small, black circles began to invade your sight.
“How about I show you just how useful I can be, eh?” He pressed his lips against yours, both fighting for dominance. Crowley’s frustration fueled him, letting him win the fight. His tongue explored your mouth as your hands found their way to the back of his head, pulling on the small strands at the base.
He broke apart the kiss, earning a frustrated groan from you. “Ah,ah, princess. You were a bad girl today and you deserve to be punished.” Grabbing both of your wrists in one of his hands, he held them above your head as he explored your body with the other.
You could feel your breathing become more ragged as the familiar knot in your stomach grew. Seeing Crowley this dominant and knowing that you were doing something you weren’t supposed to spurred you on. Crowley’s hand found your heat and your breath hitched as his fingers danced over it.
He chuckled at your reaction and brought you in for a kiss as he plunged two fingers inside you and immediately began pumping, not even giving you a chance to adjust. You moaned into his mouth as his movements quickened, the knot becoming tighter and tighter. Not being able to touch him just turned you on even more, adding to the nearing orgasm.
You fell apart on his fingers when he added a third, completely stretching you out. He finger fucked you through your orgasm, smiling widely at the pretty sounds you made. Pulling out his fingers, Crowley lifted your chin so you were eye level with him before slowly putting his fingers into your mouth, groaning as you tasted yourself on his fingers.
“I suppose I’m useful enough to make you cum, eh? To fuck? How about I leave you like this until you learn how to be a good girl, yeah?” He kissed you once again, full of passion and frustration, before biting your lip and exiting the room, leaving you so desperate for more of him.
Damn, you loved it when he played dirty.
Supernatural Tags:
@akshi8278 @bxoken-heartss @deascheck
#crowley#crowley spn#crowley x reader#crowley imagine#crowley fanfiction#crowley smut#supernatural#supernatural x reader#supernatural imagine#supernatural fanfiction#supernatural smut
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The Trouble of Love Languages
Dean Winchester x plus size reader
Dean’s love language is quality time and acts of service while the woman he loves most in this world craves physical touch, which is the one thing he can’t stand.
Warnings: angst to fluff, they’re both in a bit of the wrong here, Dean has touch aversion, arguing, Dean is definitely an asshole with lots of unresolved issues, slightly toxic relationship?, break up, reader is ever so slightly touch starved, lovers to ex’s to lovers again, drinking, crying, comfort, hopeful ending, Sam is a good wingman
WC: 4.7k
Minors DNI
Dean Winchester hated to be touched. After spending all of his life with minimal kind physical touch with the people he cared about, it was no wonder he had an aversion to it. He could put up with a hug or slap on the back to his brother and fleeting kisses to his girlfriend’s cheek or forehead but everything else was off limits.
She did her best with what she got but sometimes, she just wanted to be held against his broad chest and inhale his unique scent of cheap cologne and gunpowder with just a hint of cherry pie. She wanted to feel the warmth of his body pressed tightly to her but her love for the hunter kept those needs locked behind a steel door that she never noticed had begun to rust.
Y/N sighed, putting down the massive book on werewolves that she had been studying for the past few hours. There was a tight band around her head that was slowly drawing tighter and tighter as a killer tension headache set in. She glanced over to the other side of the library where Dean had his feet perched up on the table as he leaned back in his chair, mindlessly sucking one of the lollipops Y/N had bought for Halloween.
He was only wearing a gray henley today instead of his usual many layers of plaids and shirts so she could see, very clearly, the way his muscles moved under the fabric and the slight pudge of his belly. Those dazzling green eyes were fixed on a new edition of some car magazine he picked up on the way back from a hunt. Y/N couldn’t help it.
Slipping from her own chair, she glided over to him. “What’cha reading?”
“Magazine.” He grunted but she knew he wasn’t being mean, sometimes Dean just didn’t want to talk. Without thinking, she laid her hands on his thick shoulder and gave them a squeeze.
Dean flinched out of her grasp, turning so quickly that Y/N had to take a step back to avoid being knocked over. His chair clattered to the floor as the library settled into an explosive silence. Y/N knew Dean could be scary, he’s been through so much trauma, seen and experienced things twenty times over that no human should ever have to see or experience even once. He told her of his time in hell and as a demon but promised that she would never be scared of him because he would protect her.
But now, as his chest heaved with heavy breaths, he was positively terrifying. “How many times have I told you not to do that?” He didn’t wait for a reply. “You know I don’t like to be touched and yet you still continue to do it. How long is it going to take before you get it? I. Don’t. Want. To. Touch. You.” His voice was level but filled with anger, a rage she had only seen when he confronted the worst kinds of monsters imaginable.
“Dean I’m sorry I-“
“You know maybe we shouldn’t even be together. Time and time again, you do this and you always say you’re sorry and that you won’t do it again but then a couple days later, you do.” Y/N’s heart was breaking right in front of the hunter but he was too blind with fury he couldn’t see it. “I can’t be with someone as fucking needy as you. It’s every goddamn day! I can’t get one second of peace with you being so clingy.”
That was the last straw. Y/N pushed a finger into his chest, shoving him backwards. He knew how insecure she was about her need for affection and constant reassurance, but until now, he never made her feel like it was an inconvenience. “Then yeah we shouldn’t be together. But you’re not going to be the one to break us up, I am. You’re a selfish man Dean Winchester. I don’t ask a lot from you. I ask that you take care of yourself, that you don’t cheat on me, that you treat me with respect and maybe the occasional hug so I don’t feel like one of your one night stands when you roll off of me after sex.
“I deserve someone who wants to be near me, who tries to understand what I need instead of brushing me off because you don’t want to make the effort. I am sick of being treated like a toy you can pick up and put down whenever you want a quick fuck or comfort. So Dean, you got your wish, we’re done.” Y/N turned and stormed off, her eyes burning with tears that didn’t fall until she could no longer hear her now ex destroying the library.
It was sad how quickly her bags were packed, only a duffle bag and a backpack that housed her entire life. She paused as she lifted the flannel she often wore to bed, the red and black fabric was soaked in Dean’s scent and never failed to make her feel safe every time she wore it.
It felt like a reminder of her faults, of all the things wrong with her that he couldn’t put up with. Scoffing, she threw it onto the bed they had shared only a couple hours ago. There was a quick knock on the door jam.
Sam, the gentle giant that he was, leaned on the wood, brown eyes big with concern. “Where’s Dean?”
“Don’t know, don’t care.” She snapped, quickly zipping up her bag and tossing it over her shoulder, barging past him.
“Hey hey, what’s going on? Did you and Dean have a fight?” He trailed after her like a puppy, sadly watching as she stomped towards the garage which notably was missing the prized Impala. A cruel part of her mind cooed that it was probably parked at some bar where he would find someone better than her.
“If you can call it that.” She muttered, throwing open the door to her truck and shoving her stuff in. Just as she was about to climb in herself, Sam’s hand wrapped around her forearm to hold her back.
“What happened?” Tears quickly rolled down her full cheeks, wetting the shirt she was wearing as they made their way down her neck. She turned to look at the men who had become her best friend, her voice firm with a slight quiver of sadness.
“We broke up.”
With a quick pull of her arm, Sam released her and she stepped into the cab of the truck. She rolled down the window, giving him a somber look. “Take care of him, ok. And-“ Y/N debated her next words carefully before speaking again. “Tell him I love him, even if he doesn’t believe it. He needs to know he’s loved.”
And with that, she drove off, leaving behind a very confused Sam and a life that she wished she could have kept.
——————
Another town, another hunt, another bar. That’s how it always went and for a long time, Dean was content to keep it that way. Then she blew into his life like a hurricane, knocking everything off path and forging her own. No more random hookups or drinking beer with every meal. She even made him get rid of all the guns he mounted on the wall in his room.
And now, the hurricane had passed, leaving behind destruction and a hole the shape of her in his heart. But she would not come back, he made sure of that when he called her clingy. He knew it was wrong but he couldn’t stop himself from saying it. He regretted it the moment it left his mouth and watched as the light in her eyes died.
She was gone, because of him, because of his stupidity he lost the best thing that has ever happened to him and the only thing he could do was accept it. So, he went back to his old ways, paving over the path of destruction in his soul the only way he knew how, beer, hunts, and women.
Sam decided to stay in the motel that night, shooting his older brother a look so devastating that Dean couldn’t meet his eye for fear he would see the disappointment and pity he already felt in himself. But Dean slipped out the door anyway and headed for the closest bar, truly not giving a shit if it was any good or not.
The music was too loud, the lights too dim, the beer too stale. Dean, however, was determined to stay, trying to convince himself that he could go on without her. He downed his first drink quickly, not letting the taste hit his tongue before his glass was drained. Signaling for another one, he rested his elbow against the sticky bar counter.
It was familiar, like returning to your childhood home. But it felt wrong. The voice in the back of his mind was screaming at him to leave, to find her and crawl on his knees begging for forgiveness until she came back. That voice was silenced with another glass of cheap whiskey.
The hand planted on his chest was familiar too. A touch he could tolerate because he knew what came after, sweaty bodies rutting together until that rush of dopamine hit him and he could feel like a normal person for a while. She was pretty, young too and obviously enamoured by the sexy older man with a gruff voice that bought her drinks and made her feel special.
Another drink. She asked him to go back to hers and he agreed, following blindly after her as she led him away. He couldn’t remember the walk to the non descript apartment, only coming back to himself when she took his hand in her own, shooting him a wink that he supposed was meant to be sultry but just served to lessen the ache in his cock.
Her slender fingers hooked into the belt loops of his jeans, tugging his thin hips into hers and pulled him into her home. The door slammed shut behind him, blindly following her.
A grunt was knocked from his lungs as she moved him onto her bed, sinking to her knees with hooded eyes. “Lemme take care of you baby.” Her voice was grating on his ears. Dean resisted the urge to flinch when her palms were laid on his muscular thighs.
It was so wrong, a nightmare he couldn’t escape but at the same time, didn’t want to because he wanted to prove something to himself, to validate his anger and his rage at the woman that loved him so much. Dean felt her tug at his belt and was broken from his thoughts.
“Stop. Just stop.” He all but shoved the girl off of him in his haste.
“What the hell!” She chastised, quite obviously offended at having been rejected by this man that until a few seconds ago, seemed very keen to have a night of fun with her. Dean shook his head and with a muttered ‘sorry’ left her kneeling on the bedroom floor.
“You fucking dick!” She called after him, and he couldn’t help but agree.
——————
Jody’s home was pleasant enough to live in. With home cooked meals every single night and a deluge of girl talk with not only the Sheriff but the two teens in her charge. It was a good distraction for a while, getting caught up in the usual antics of the young women that Y/N imagined Sam and Dean were like when they were younger.
But even the best distractions can only last for a little while. And each night, as she settled into the small bed graciously given to her, Y/N just felt alone. She was out of place here, a passing visitor that had overstayed her welcome long ago. No matter how much Jody may have protested the opposite and Claire and Alex insisted that they loved having her there, this wasn’t Y/N’s home.
Her home had always been Dean. His presence had soothed her soul in a way that nothing had ever done before. She lived for nights where they would drink and laugh themselves silly or when he would prepare her coffee just the way she liked it in the morning. She desperately missed how his face would break out into an uneven and frankly goofy smile when she teased Sam.
In a vain attempt to stop her mind from going down a road that she knew would make her spiral, Y/N shoved her headphones in her ears and blasted a random playlist. The soft guitar and crooning voice so similar to Dean’s had her eyes burning with tears. Her chest ached as she thought about the way he sang to her in the car, his hand on the seat beside her plump thigh, not quite touching her but close enough she knew it was there.
Tears rolled down her temples wetting the pillow beneath her head as she let herself mourn the love she had lost. Her sobs were silent, mere hiccups as she forced herself not to make any noise to alert the others. She couldn’t take anymore of their pitying looks.
She hugged herself tightly as her nails dug into her soft forearms, her chest heaving with her cries. Images of the man she considered her soulmate with another woman sent her deeper down the rabbit hole of self-despair. She could only imagine what he had gotten up to in the weeks since she left and it was driving her crazy.
The song faded out, leaving Y/N alone with her thoughts for a second too long. The brightness of the screen blinded her for just a moment before she clicked on the last text exchange in her phone.
I love you sweetheart
The low buzz of the outgoing call rumbled against her chest where she placed her phone face down. In the silence between each ring, she was doubting her decision more and more. Why should she reach out first when he was the one that broke them?
“Hello?” His raspy voice came out crackled through her head phones, making her heart jump slightly.
“S-sorry butt dial.” She panicked, quickly hanging up but not before hearing him call out, “Wait! Plea-“ Y/N threw her phone onto the pile of her clothes in the corner of the room, ignoring how it was now ringing again, a photo of her and Dean lighting the screen.
Sleep did not come easily that night even after her cries ceased, her eyes finally fluttering closed as the sun began to peak over the horizon, dousing the room in a soft pink.
——————
It was rare that music didn’t play in the Impala. There was almost always a constant stream of classic rock that spewed from the radio, yet the silence was more overwhelming than the usual loud songs Dean sang along to.
Sam was deeply concerned for his older brother. He knew the break up hit him hard, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, but the younger Winchester didn’t think it was this bad. Dean reeked of the same whiskey he religiously drank after they lost Bobby. His clothes were rumpled and dirty, the Impala, his prized possession looked dull and lifeless, caked with dirt and dead bugs.
Dean hadn’t shaved in the weeks since she left so he now sported a semi-impressive beard which Sam attempted to make fun of just the same as his own facial hair had been but Dean had merely grunted and ignored him. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” He attempted to start a conversation.
“Jody’s.”
“Why?” The one word answers were nothing new, but at least he was talking. Dean’s green eyes flicked briefly over to his brother before returning to the road.
“Hunt.” Sam sighed, slumping back against the leather bench of the car, his focus shifting to the world that was speeding past them. He was sick of this self-pitying attitude that was slowly driving the older man to madness when it could be solved so easily.
“If you pulled your head out of your ass, you could get her back.” The air in the car turned to ice. “Don’t act like I didn’t hear you frantically calling her last night.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He growled, knuckles turning white as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. But Sam kept pushing.
“She’s the best thing to have ever happened to you and you just let her leave. Or maybe you just never loved her since you went home with someone only a week ago, that’s why you didn’t put up a fight.”
“Shut up Sam.” Sam, that should have made him worry. He was only called Sam when Dean was pissed and on the edge of an almost toddler-like melt down.
“I’m just saying, if you really wanted to, and I mean really really wanted to, she would forgive you. But you don’t want to make the effort.” The tires screamed as Dean pulled off the road with a flick of his wrists. Sam was jerked sideways with the force but then was sent the other direction as Dean fisted the front of his flannel and shoved him back against the car door.
His eyes were wild with fury and his next words came out in a snarl. “I can’t get her back. Don’t you understand that. I just can’t.”
“Why not?” He pushed, desperate to get his brother to finally come to his senses. “You know she loves you and that she would do anything for you. What made this fight so terrible?”
“Because I can’t touch her!” The silence quickly returned as Sam tried to comprehend what he was just told. “I can’t touch her Sammy.” Dean was on the edge of tears. He released his shirt from his grasp like the fabric had burnt him and buried his head in his hands.
Sam had never witnessed Dean like this before, like his world was crumbling down before him and he wasn’t doing anything to stop it because he had just given up. No matter the circumstances or insurmountable odds that had faced him, he always pushed through with his can-do attitude and unwavering loyalty to those he loved. But now he was being consumed by a hopelessness so many monsters had attempted to instill in him but never could.
He was heartbroken and suffering. He lost the woman who knew his soul and yet still loved him. Sam knew what that despair felt like, to have such a great love ripped away and not giving yourself time to lament on that loss.
“Dean.” He started but was quickly interrupted.
“I couldn’t give her what she deserved. I couldn’t be that loving boyfriend she wanted so badly. I couldn’t even fucking hug her without feeling like I wanted to push her away. And I knew it was hurting her but she was right, I am selfish. I wanted her to myself even if I could see her slowly dying inside.”
The sun was quickly setting over the brothers, the reds and purples giving way to a deep blue. They watched, for a moment, as the stars began to appear and the darkness surrounded them. “I’ve hurt so many people in my life. My hands have been stained red with blood for so long and she was the one person I couldn’t stand to hurt. Yet I hurt her so badly that she ran away from me.”
“But you do want her back don’t you?”
Tearful green eyes looked back at him. “More than anything.”
“Then we need to make a pitstop, I have an idea.”
——————
Y/N couldn’t help but notice Jody’s worried glances towards the front door as they ate dinner. “Alright Mills, that’s the eighth time you’ve looked at the door in five minutes. What’s going on? Do you have a secret lover coming over?” Claire snorted in her drink but quickly recovered as her surrogate mom shot her a glare.
“No, I do not have a secret lover. Thank you very much. I’m just waiting for a package.” Y/N raised an eyebrow at the older woman, still incredibly doubtful.
“It’s almost 10 at night, why would a package be delivered this late?”
“Well, I-“ The doorbell rang, saving her from having to give another lame excuse. “Excuse me a moment, there’s my package.” Y/N narrowed her eyes at the Sheriff, not saying anything else.
Alex sighed, shaking her head, like she was in on some conspiracy that Jody had set up. “Have you got anything to add?” Y/N teased.
“Nope, nothing at all. Isn’t that right Claire?” Said girl, who was sitting to Y/N’s left, just huffed and took another large bite of her food.
Y/N ignored the muffled voices coming from the entryway, assuming that Jody, being her usual friendly self, was making conversation with whoever was at the door. Then, “hey girls, I need your help for a minute.” And without so much as a groan of annoyance, both teens stood and rushed from the room.
Before Y/N could follow after them, she heard the front door slam shut and the obvious sound of a car engine starting up and then driving away. “What the hell?” Just as she stood from the table to investigate, a large figure blocked the doorway.
“Dean?”
“Hi sweetheart.” She melted at the sound of his voice clearly after so long and not through the crackly and broken version she heard through the dozens of voicemails he left her the night before. She itched to run into his strong arms but remained in place, her hand absentmindedly falling to the table, laying her palm flat against the butter knife she had been using. “I hope you’re not planning on using that on me.”
Dean gestured to her hand in a joking manner but only succeeded in making her scowl at him. “You look like shit.” He winced at her tone.
“I deserved that.”
“You deserve a lot worse. What the hell do you want Winchester?” Dean sighed. His body tilted forward, like he wanted to get closer. Running a hand through his hair, which was slightly longer than he normally kept it, his eyes dropped to the ground.
Y/N watched as he deflated, the usually stoic image of the hunter before her crumbling to dust and leaving a man that looked truly broken. “I didn’t mean to call you clingy.” Straight to business, good. She thought.
“But you did. And you did it knowing full well how I feel about that word.” Unconsciously, her voice softened as he nodded along to what she was saying.
“I know and I’m sorry about that. I’m- fuck- I’m sorry about everything.” Y/N didn’t object when he took a tentative step forward and she cursed her body for not recoiling as he drew closer. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to move away. “I wish I could be the man you want, the one you deserve, but I’m not and I don’t think I will ever be.”
“Not really selling your case here Dean.”
“Just- just let me get to my point and then you can cuss me out. I love you and I want to change for you. I want to get better at touching you and I’ll do whatever it takes to bring you home. Besides Sammy’s been pouting a lot without you there and it’s getting really fucking annoying.” Of course the man couldn’t get through a serious discussion without being a dumbass.
Dean stood inches from her now, and Y/N could see how his hands trembled, either from anxiety or the copious amounts of alcohol she smelt from him, she didn’t know. “I don’t want you to change, Dean. I love you for who you are but you really hurt me and-“
“I know.” He cut her off. “I know and I want to make it right, if you’ll let me.” His green eyes shone with tears
“Goddamn you and your stupid puppy dog eyes.” She grumbled. Dean smirked. “Alright! Jesus, we can try again but I expect so much fucking grovelling, like ten times more than I had to do when I accidentally ate the last slice of pecan pie.”
He smiled and nodded, placing his hand on the dining room table mere millimeters from her own. “Anything you want sweetheart.”
“And no sex for the foreseeable future, not even over the clothes stuff.” He winced at that but still, his smile did not waver.
“And, and, fuck I can’t think of anything else with you looking at me like that.” She whined and turned her head so she didn’t have to look into his eyes anymore. Y/N gasped as a finger hooked under her chin, guiding her gaze back to the man she still loved so much. His smile was even softer now, almost dopey with love.
“I’ll do whatever it takes, even if that means never getting to see you in anything less than fully clothed for the rest of my life and giving you all of my pie. I just need you, sweetheart.” His forehead dropped to her own, the tips of their noses brushing together in an act so intimate it made her chest burn with affection.
“Did you sleep with anyone else?” The question hung heavily in the air, pressing down on both of their chests like a massive weight. Dean breathed out harshly through his nose and Y/N froze, already fearing his answer, she began to pull away. But without any hesitation, his right arm wound around her thick waist and tugged her into his chest. Caught off guard, Y/N planted her hands on his chest.
She felt the way his body tensed beneath her palms, still so unused to being touched but he didn’t let her go like he would have before. “The short answer: no.”
“And the long answer?” Her throat felt like it was closing up with the onslaught of tear building behind her eyes.
“A girl brought me back to her place and tried to go down on me but I didn’t even kiss her. I left before she got my belt off.” Unable to stop herself, Y/N chuckled.
“You just left?”
Dean’s cheeks coloured with a rare flush. “Yeah, I walked out the door and she was still on her knees calling me a dick.”
“Well she was right about that.” And they stayed like that for a moment, letting themselves be reminded about how much they loved each other. Pressing a quick kiss to her forehead, Dean stepped away.
“Wait here, I have something for you.” With a few long strides, he left the room and then quickly reappeared holding a canvas bag with the phrase ‘act like a lady, think like a boss’ printed on the side in big, bold lettering. “Don’t diss the bag sweetheart.”
And before she could snark something back, he pulled a teddy bear from the bag. The bear seemed to be a regular plush at first glance, but when Dean handed it to her, Y/N couldn’t help but smile brightly. The toy easily weighed 5 pounds and suspiciously smelt of Dean’s cologne. “I thought that this could be a substitute for when you want to cuddle. But this is temporary, cause I will get better. He’s just a placeholder.”
“He?”
“Yeah.” He sighed happily. “Little Dean Jr.” Holding the bear tighter to her chest, Y/N stood on her tiptoes and finally planted her lips on his. Her skin burned as the soft kiss quickly turned more passionate and his newly grown beard scraped against her. Fingers curled into his hair, Y/N yanked him even closer as Dean’s hands fell to her generous ass, giving her cheeks a light squeeze.
Reluctantly, she pulled away first, her lungs screaming for oxygen and her brain telling her that if she kissed him any more, she would end up in the back seat of Baby with her legs over his shoulders. “This is a start. But I will not have you talk to me like that again. If you do, I’m gone and you won’t ever see me again.”
“I promise, I’ll do better.” Content with his answer, Y/N pecked his swollen lips.
“The bear was Sam’s idea wasn’t it?”
“But I named him!”
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do you really believe that jared is a better actor than jensen?
specially in the l few seasons?
his name is the first on the call sheet” you guys go around with this like it’s his saving grace , jennifer aniston’s name was the first but if it weren’t for characters like Monica and Chandler no one would have watched that show .
I don’t have anything against jared , but his fans are so bitter and they can’t praise him without belittling jensen,his acting, his looks, his wife, or even his a*s
body shaming him won’t make jared better.
I’m sorry you had a rough time with jensen’s bitter stans , but boy oh boy try seeing jared bitter stans talk about jensen (without engaging) with them , you could physically taste their hate
Jared is a character actor. People like to say character actors are "better actors" than personality actors, however there is a reason why character actors are usually not leads in movies or tv shows because most people actually prefer personality actors, which Jensen is good at. Jared is a character actor trapped in a leading man role.
Jared's first on the call sheet isn't a saving grace, it's facts, and it gets brought up more by Ackles Army than Jared fans. Why? Butthurts, Anon, all butthurts. You got to read this treasure. In the early days of SPN, AAs tried to downplayed first billings ....
AAs 2005: “The only reason why this Jared guy has first billing is because the ‘a’ in Jared comes before the ‘e’ in Jensen.”
AAs 2007: "Jared only got first billings because he was better known thanks to Gilmore Girls."
AAs 2008: "Jensen is the real star, this credit order business only happened because of their agents, and Jensen's agent was asleep at the wheel."
AAs 2009: "Billing order is of no importance, both Jensen and Jared have top billings."
AAs 2011 through 2017: “Jared has top billings only because the ‘a’ in Jared comes before the ‘e’ in Jensen.”
Newbie fans: "But doesn't Ackles comes before Padalecki in the alphabet?"
AAs: "Shut up Jared stans! Why do you hate Dean so much?!"
AAs 2021: "Dean was originally supposed to die by the end of the 1st season, that's the only reason why Jared's name was first".
The bitter AAs hate that the first billing t hing because it was evidence of Jared’s success at an earlier age than Jensen’s. The only reason why Jared’s fans bring up his first billing because they know how much it needles and aggravates the AAs who just won't let it go and keep bringing it up, if not more than the Jared girls do.
Jared fans stay in their lane when they're on a bash bender and don’t actively tag actors and their fans their hate. AAs (and Destiel hellers) aggressively and relentlessly tag Jared and his fans their hate. See the difference? AAs, minions, and hellers would go into Jared’s SM to send threats of violence and even death. Jared fans don't return the favor and stay out of actors' SM. Sure they’ll take screenshots to laugh about it in their own TL or blogs and tag it “anti”, but again they’re not sending their hate directly to Jensen. See the difference?
I've never body shamed Jensen what the hell are you talking about?
Whenever Anons tell me that Jared fans are just as bad as AAs and hellers, I always ask for receipts. I'm still waiting for them to pony up the receipts years later. Anon, you could be the first! I'll be right here waiting for your receipts of Jared fans sending public threats of violence and death to Jensen on twitter, intagram, and tick tock. You know your mission, now go!
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Tv Princess
Gabriel x reader, Platonic Dean x reader, Platonic Sam x reader
Prompt- “Give me five minutes to get over myself.”
Warnings- Forced (Fake) Marriage, Forced Kiss(?), Reality Warping
Idk man if you find something for me to warn for let me know, I’m really bad at warnings.
TV show after TV show. Sam, Dean, and I “acted” out the scenes. It was Sam’s idea to play along but at this point I was getting tired.
Dean delivers another cheesy line, and the world shifts, or rather glitches, around us. This time it seemed a bit too different. Where is Sam and Dean?
I walked a bit through the room. I noticed my shirt and pants are now a dress. My outfit fits the room's aesthetic. Or perhaps, maybe it’s more of the era?
Red and gold accents around a room that’s lit only by the many windows. It looks like one of those crappy dramas based around old day royalty.
I see a mirror and decide that if I am going to be here alone I might as well make sure I still look good. Ribbons in now tangled hair and white fabric create a perfect dress. Though, I thought white wasn’t a common color. That is when it hit me.
I’m in a wedding dress.
A knock on the door pulls me from staring at myself. I look over to see a girl dressed a lot like a maid.
“Princess, it’s time.”
My heart stops for just a second. This lady really just called me princess. Dear God, help me…
“Yes. Yes, of course. Just give me five minutes to get over myself.”
The girl stepped into the room more. She looked terrified. I felt kinda bad for her. “Princess, I know it isn’t my place, but I know you are scared of your marriage, but we don’t have time... It’s a bad idea to keep the Prince waiting.”
This is going to happen anyways right? If I play along and get it over with it’ll be over. “You know what, you are absolutely right... Let’s go.”
She nodded enthusiastically and we made our way out of the room. We were greeted in front of two large doors by a man in an old timely suit. He didn’t make eye contact or say anything, he just held out his arm for me.
After taking his arm the guards opened the doors. I heard music starting to play as I stared down the aisle. The man all the way at the end of the way was none other than the damned trickster who did this to us. I hid my anger with a deep breath. I observed the room and people in it as we made our way to him.
When we finally made it to the end the man who greeted me gave the trickster my hand and we all moved to a more appropriate spot. The trickster sends a smile to me. I just glare back.
He leans towards me. His smile is now leaning towards a smirk.
“You know it really is best to play along.”
I really want to punch him in the nose at this point. This better end soon. It was funnier when Sam and Dean were being hit in the “family jewels”.
~~Time Skip~~
“You may now kiss the bride.”
Please don’t make me do this. Please don’t make me do this. Please don’t make me actually do this!
The trickster grabbed my hand and pulled me in. Our lips met and I wanted to die. It was different. I imagined it to feel gross or weird, but it was soft and sweet. I could feel him smile into the kiss. This is. This. It. made me feel sick. I liked it and hated it at the same time.
He finally pulled away. I had no idea what to do or say next.
“You alright, Princess? We gotta a whole ball to attend after this…” He trailed off, then wiggled his eyebrows like a weirdo. “I mean, unless you wanna go straight to the honeymoon?”
I gave a tight smile, biting my lip. “Sorry prince charming, but I don’t roll like that. Thanks for the disturbing offer.”
He laughed… Did he actually find that funny? The trickster took my hand and led me down the aisle and to a much bigger clearing.
“Then perhaps we should just dance.” It was hard to ignore the actual charm he had. I let out a small sigh as he pulled me into a waltz.
You know. Now that I think about it…“What’s your name?”
He stopped for a second. He seemed genuinely confused, before he covered it with a chuckle.
“I’d rather not give information to someone who wants me dead.” He said smiling with a playful tone and stare.
I retorted quickly, “I’d love to say you telling me your name would help us knock you on your ass, but it won’t… Honestly, I’m just tired of calling you “he” and “the trickster” in my head.”
I looked up into his eyes for the first time since he pulled me in. His eyes showed adoration and enjoyment. Why does he look like that? I must look so stupid staring up all wide eyed. Among that he’s using us like a puppeteer, of course he’s entertained… But, why does he look so loving?
The trickster pulled me in a bit tighter. He looked a little concerned as he did, but he leaned into me like he was using me for comfort.
“Gabriel… You can call me Gabriel.”
#spn#supernatural#supernatural x reader#spn x reader#gabriel#spn gabriel#archangel gabriel#supernatural gabriel#gabriel x reader#spn gabriel x reader#supernatural gabriel x reader#archangel gabriel x reader
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Why I Haven't Been On Sam.
I think it's time to address the elephant in the room: why being on Sam has been so difficult. And not just a few minute details. But an actual explanation since so many of you have been so kind and have followed me for so long. I am hoping to get back on him at some point. When I feel ready. I will be placing the reasons below the cut as triggering topics are inbound. Just in case anyone who knew what the reason was and or/have been involved in that whole horrible mess...Don't worry. I won't be mentioning anything to do with you. I won't be naming names. I won't be saying a word about all that. I want to protect your peace and privacy. I always will. That said, reasons below the cut :
Through my Sam Winchester blog, I met another roleplayer. I will not be mentioning their name either because what good will that do when 1) they are gone, and 2) I am never going to stoop to their levels.
This roleplayer started out very sweet and kind. Our characters had a wonderful connection. They started reaching out to other roleplayers I was close to, as well as me. We all liked them and trusted them dearly. Eventually, a relationship was formed between myself and this roleplayer.
They became a part of my friend group. We all even thought of each other as family. But slowly, things started to change. That person became more vindictive, hateful, and rude when things did not go their way. They would even try to rope me in via guilting if I did not help or trying to make me feel like they were being mistreated so I'd say something. I didn't realize what they were doing at first. That they were manipulating me into doing what they wanted. Time went on and it started becoming far more frequent. They started lashing out at everyone and if I wasn't on their side then it turned on me.
Eventually, we all parted ways. Thank god. Because those people were smart for getting out. And I'm so very glad that they did and that they are all safe. The deeper things got, the more info this person had on me. Hell, we'd even met and spent four days together at one point. They met my child. They'd been to my house. Even when I started seeing the horrible way they were acting, I was too scared to leave. I could only use their aesthetics they made for me. I had to respond to them first on everything. I had to answer discord rps daily or they got angry. There were so many horrible fights. So many horrible things said to me.
I had never felt so low. I couldn't do anything right. i was always upsetting them. I spent a lot of days crying. or pushing myself to write on Sam. Eventually, I snapped and got the hell out of there. Ever since, it's been hard to write here. It's hard to look at Sam the same way. And since that person wrote Dean for a short spell, it's kinda hard to look at Dean too. I just have an awful taste in my mouth. I'm still healing...I'm sorry everyone. for taking so long. I am still so messed up. I feel the need to apologize for anything and everything. I am constantly defensive. I am still anxious.]]
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Being a reincarnation sucks! and UWMA told us, but we were too happy for DeanPharm to listen!
Okay! This might be a little bit of a hot take, and also possibly a little theorizing. But I will stand my ground and die on this hill!
UWMA is my all-time favorite BL, and might I even say, one of my favorite web dramas ever!
It's a compelling, heartbreaking, beautiful story about a wonderfully healthy relationship between two very traumatized people. Finding each other, and in the process, reconnecting the tortured souls of two people who loved each other but weren't given the option to be happy together.
Now, though that scenario is not likely to happen to me or you, it's still an interesting story, using the soulmate trope to its ultimate advantage. I love the idea of a healthy, yet unconditional and unending love that prevails through all.
However, although I love the reincarnated love trope, there is a blatant fact that I, and many other UWMA fans have been oblivious to. and that is how much it would SUCK to be in our beloved Dean and Pharm's shoes!
What invoked me to make this post?
Well, it's plain and simple. I'm sick of all the complaining and making fun of My boy Pharm for being a cryer!
Am I biased because Pharm is my favorite character and I relate to the inability to stop myself from crying and it usually takes a while for me to stop, so I see a lot of myself in him? Maybe, but that's not important!
What's important is that I believe, people who complain or laugh at Pharm for this know that this is a response to PTSD, but don't take time to really acknowledge how bad this PTSD would be if you were faced with it in real life. This is why I want to shed light on how being the reincarnations of Korn and In have done little to nothing beneficial for Dean and Pharm, other than the fact it's what brought them together.
(But just an FYI, crying is a normal reaction to things, and maybe Pharm is just a very emotional and expressive softy and there is nothing wrong with that! MEN SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO CRY GODDAMNIT!)
Well, since I just ranted about the Pharm crying disrespect, might as well start with him and his respected past life counterpart, Intouch!
As we see all through UWMA, Pharm probably has the more blatant PTSD from his past life out of the couple, and it makes sense.
In was left to watch the man he loved take his own life in front of him. He was the one to witness his improvement, his confession, and his mutual decline until he had nothing left to say but "I love you" and "I'm Sorry", and in the end, he was still left alone. he is left cradling the body of not only the first man he probably ever openly loved but also the first person who he could actually relate to in a world that told him if he wanted to survive, he had to hide who he was.
This user makes an interesting point on how Korn dying isn't just a traumatizing event for In, but in his mind, also an act of betrayal. Because he promised him, yet he traumatized and left him alone in a world that would hate him for who he is.(in Intouch's mind ofc). Yet he also knows that though he is hurt, all he wants is to be with Korn, so he commits suicide to escape the life he'd have to live without him.
These very hard-hitting and intense feelings are already bad to live with for the one who actually experienced the trauma firsthand. But imagine, being a normal kid with a happy loving family, yet you are plagued by vague but traumatic memories that are not your own? you wake up crying every morning, you panic at any unsuspected loud noise, and you get seemingly random panic attacks that you can't even explain why they happen.
You seemingly have no valid reason to act this way. You want to stop, or at least to know why, but can't for the life of you understand. I think many people can understand the feeling of being depressed, angry, anxious, etc., and don't really know why. So they feel guilty and exhausted from these strong emotions they don't want or understand.
For Pharm, the more he learns about his situation, the more he's around Dean, and the more he learns about Korn and In, the more intense his episodes get. he has more nightmares, more flashbacks, and he's less able to discern In's emotions and pain from his own.
At one point, he even realizes that the more he finds out about In, the more power In's feelings of betrayal and anguish have on him. He ultimately decides he doesn't want to know how In died, believing what's done is done and it's best to leave it in the past, just for him to find out later and for all his efforts to stay himself to be diminished by In's immense grief.
He straight up almost DIES because In's soul can't distinguish Dean from Korn, and therefore Pharm from Intouch. And people still thinks he doesn't deserve to cry all he wants?
Moving onto the titular man that, for lack of a better phrase, "started it all", and his green-flag of a reincarnation! Dean and Korn.
(If you don't agree with the dean, green-flag statement, I respectfully disregard your opinion)
So... let's just get this out in the open. I believe Korn was always suicidal. Or at least, very depressed.
Now when I say that, I obviously can't know how his childhood went or when his mental health began to decline, but considering the family he was born into, and the time he was in when he realized he liked men, it's not too hard to suspect that these feelings have been festering for a while.
Korn was the eldest son of a mafia loan shark. We don't ever find out about his mother, whether she was around or not, but considering how his father treats him and his children, I can assume that even if she was in their life, his father would still be calling all the shots.
We know that Korn is expected to carry on the family business, and at the point of his life where we are introduced to him, we see his father is beginning to put even more pressure on him to start taking up jobs and practicing to take over when he's gone.
But we see that Korn doesn't want to take over. He doesn't want to hurt people and he just wants a normal life for his brothers and himself. However, due to familial obligation, and threats from his father, Korn is submitting himself to a life he hates for the sake of his brothers, so neither of them has to throw their lives away for their father's business.
At this point, the existence of Korn is miserable. He's being pressured to do something he desperately hates, to submit himself to a life he does not want. He's ostracized at university for his affiliation with loan sharks and his general anti-social demeanor(which is definitely a coping mechanism) He's being berated and called useless by his own dad, which would definitely hurt his view of himself. He cares about his brothers way too much to ever let them know how much he's hurting, isolating himself from their care. finally, his sexuality would make him a target for discrimination, so he's forced to hide more about himself until he's probably forced into a marriage with a person he does not love, producing an heir to take on the job he hates and officially restarting the generational trauma and cycle of abuse.
This person better explains what Korn was going through mentally and what In truly meant to him than I ever could. But basically, they say that before In, Korn had practically dug himself a hole he couldn't get out of, and he was living on autopilot. Just moving through the days, until the day would come when he couldn't take it anymore. I very much agree with this. and every flashback, when they get closer and closer to the day, you can see that he doesn't know how much longer he's gonna last. So now that he is at the point of hopelessness, all he can do is let him know he loves him, and apologize to him and their dads for making them witness what he was going to do, but also for leaving him.
Now, I see a lot of comments about how Korn was being selfish with taking his life, because not only did he do it in front of the person he loves, but also in the process, he left him alone in the world. I personally feel like these comments tend to push a little too much on Korn being selfish that it ends up almost coming off as victim blaming. And I want to make it perfectly clear, people who commit suicide do so (mainly) as a last resort. almost no one who is going through with committing the act is doing so out of spite or to hurt others. They do so because they believe there is no other way to escape or fix what's wrong in their life. Korn is no exception. He was in pain, and he needed help, but he believed there was nothing that could be done, and probably felt if he was out of the picture, he would no longer be a burden on In and he would finally put an end to all the war and suffering in his heart and in his life.
However, suicide is an act that at the end of the day hurts everyone the victim is close to. people who are affected by a loved one taking their own life can feel a piling number of emotions. Confusion, anger, guilt, etc. We see those emotions expressed in In, An(In's Sister), Korn's brothers, their dads, and even Pharm. These emotions are valid and it's a common response. So I won't blame the audience for empathizing with In more than Korn in this series. To be fair, even Dean holds resentment towards Korn once he finds out.
Which brings me to why it'd suck to be Dean. He's possessed by the soul of a very depressed and broken man with anti-social tendencies. He's having issues similar to Pharm where he has memories that are not his own, not to mention he's always preoccupied with looking for someone he has no idea may or may not exist. He also chooses to isolate himself from his parents and siblings for the sake of his paternal grandmother, making his relationship with them more strained once he has to be in their lives. (which may or may not be influenced by Korn due to his tendency in life to self-isolate.) He puts on a stern and responsible act for everyone to mask his social awkwardness, still looking for someone he does not know.
And when he finally feels happy and relieved because he's found the thing he's always felt was missing, it only gives him more questions of who those memories actually are, and what he and Pharm have to do with it. The more he finds out, the more his true anxieties begin to take over and he desperately tries to put on a brave face for his boyfriend because he knows Pharm is already going through a lot, and he wants to make sure he's not worried.
When he actually finds out who Korn and In were, and What Korn did, he immediately starts cursing Korn for what happened. But it's so much more than just him being hateful towards a man who took his own life. Because to him, whether he likes it or not, Korn is an aspect of him. Whatever Korn feels, he feels. Korn's actions are his actions. So whatever Korn did, Dean is responsible for.(at least in his mind)
So Dean is practically cursing himself, calling himself a bastard. to Dean, He's the reason Pharm is terrified whenever there is a loud unexpected noise, he's the reason Pharm has panic attacks, and he's the reason Pharm cries in his sleep. He thinks it's his fault that Pharm was so scared of being in a relationship with him, Not to mention he's probably dealing with Korn's soul feeling the same amount of self-loathing. To Korn, everything is his fault, and because of his actions, he abandoned, hurt, and killed the one person that made him keep going.
So now, Dean is left with double self-loathing, and blaming himself for things that were most definitely NOT his fault.
Now, onto my final point on what the worst part of being the reincarnations of two unresting souls. Which is the lack of being your own person. When your body is holding two separate souls constantly fluctuating on taking the wheel, don't be surprised if you feel just a tad bit unsure of who you are or what things in life are your own.
Now, there are some things that their past life events influence that are not bad and are in fact quite sweet. like how In always wanted to be good at cooking, and so Pharm is born with a mother who is great at cooking, and in the process learns to be a good cook. Or Korn going to the beach for the first time with In being one of his happiest memories, and so Dean grows to love the beach, and therefore swimming. But the main thing that this drama shows as its conflict through the series is both Dean and Pharm trying to stay themselves. To have their actions be their own. and also, when the whole reason they are reincarnations of these two men specifically is to reconnect them and fulfill a promise made long ago, there's also the conflict of how much of their love is genuinely theirs. That's probably the worst anxiety in the world! You finally find a person who can truly relate and understand what you're going through and you feel an intense unexplainable love for them, only for you to fear that the relationship you built together isn't based off of love that is yours. It makes you fear that you are hurting the other person because why would you stay with someone if you're not sure if you love them? This is something they both have to face in the final episode. They separate for a little bit to give themselves time to reflect on their own feelings and only after they know that the souls of In and Korn are content, do they know that the love they have is real and it's theirs.
So...Still think reincarnation is cute and fun?! There's a reason people work to finally escape Samsara! Thank you for coming to my rant lol!
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TBOSAS on Crack short take (32)
Lepidus: Hello, Panem! Welcome back to our show, The Table Talk. I’m your host, Lepidus Malmsey for Capitol News-
Casca: Start the show already!
Lepidus: Fine! For this season’s ✨Stars of The Week✨, we have invited our beloved Mentors from The Academy to sit down and chat with us!
Mentors: Hello, everyone.😔
Festus: *Quickly stands up* Can I switch seats with Pup? Arachne is giving me a lot of “evil vibes” today.😬
Arachne: *Is still wearing a neck brace after the Sandwich Zoo Incident* Oh, don’t act so f*ckin’ innocent, Creed. You tried to kill me in front of my Tribute 2 days ago!
Festus: Kill you?! I literally saved you from being stabbed and choked to death by your Tribute, you ungrateful spider!
Arachne: Oh, yeah! You freaking shoved me first, garbage boy!
Festus: You punched my beautiful face and gave me a black eye, you spoiled witch!
Arachne: Pay my hospital bills first, you trash loser!
Festus: Pay mine, you monster!
Casca: At least smile and look happy while arguing!
Festus: I’m doing my best!
Lepidus: Can we go back to-
Casca: Dammit it, Creed! Sit the f*ck down!
Festus: Fine!
Arachne: Suck a di-
Felix: Alright! That’s enough! Let’s go back to you, Mr. Malmsey.
Lepidus: Finally! My first question is for anyone and everyone.
Felix: Ok. Let’s hear it.
Lepidus: So what were your first thoughts and reactions when you first found out that you got selected for the Mentorship Program?
Livia: Unsurprised as always.
Juno: As expected for a Phipps.
Florus: My parents almost smiled at me. Almost.
Felix: My granduncle created another useless national holiday to celebrate my success.
Coryo: My cousin baked me a cake made out of cabbages.
Sejanus: My father threw money at me like confetti.
Festus: To be honest, I wasn’t even aware of the program. I just got in, and here we are.
Androcles: Just like we planned!
Lepidus: What do you mean by that?
Pup: What do you mean by what?
Lepidus: Weren’t you all selected because you guys are simply the best and the brightest of your year?
Hilarius: Fairly selected?!
Livia: I’m so sorry but I never heard of her before.
Domitia: The Best and the brightest?! Who told you that lie?
Persephone: You’re joking right?! I mean, just look at us!
Festus: Me?! The Academy’s village idiot?!🤣
Florus: Half of my grades are sh*t!
Pup: Sleeping and skipping classes are my best subjects!
Palmyra: Who told you I was smart?
Apollo: I’m not even the best at finger painting class.
Dennis: Do people honestly believe that BS?
Androcles: Now that’s funny!
Lysistrata: I have at least 15 demerits to my name, you know.
Coryo: Physical Education hates me! And delusional Dean Highbottom hates me!
Sejanus: Dr. Gaul personally banned me from attending her class. And my grades are also sh*t.
Gaius: Don’t look at me. I’m just the class clown, bro.
Diana: And honestly, Clemensia’s the only student who deserves to be here fair and square. But as for the rest, let’s just say, we used other means.😈
Lepidus: What other means?!
Felix: Mr. Malmsey, not to be rude, but I have to know, who told these lies to you?
Lepidus: Your Dean told me-
Casca: I swear it wasn’t me!
Lepidus: Right. So just for the record, you’re all confessing, just now, on LIVE TV, and in front of me, that not one of you is a top performing student at The Academy?!
Felix: Unfortunately, yes.
Festus: Never was and never will be.
Lepidus: So you all have demerits?
Festus: My demerit count is 92 and counting!😀
Lysistrata: Shut it, Creed! You’re not suppose to say that on TV.
Felix: Yeah! What will the rest of Panem think of us now?!
Festus: Panem is thinking about us?
Coryo: Since when?
Lepidus: But seriously, how the heck did all of you become our official mentors then?
Felix: Ravinstill Nepotism!
Androcles: My mama blackmailed my way into that list, sweetheart!
Coryo: Easy. I just pretended to be Dean Highbottom’s dead boyfriend and persuaded him to add me on that list while he was drunk.
Casca: Crassus, my love, why did you betray me again?! I was super drunk!😭
Sejanus: Just ask my father. His money don’t jiggle jiggle. It folds.
Lysistrata: I just gave our Dean a free but fake morphling prescription.
Casca: That was fake?!
Livia: My mama threatened Highbottom with a fake tax evasion allegation.
Juno: I’m literally ✨Old Money Capitol Royalty✨.
Palmyra: Food poisoning.
Lepidus: Can you elaborate on that?
Palmyra: No.
Florus: Simple. The Ring twins and I just asked Urban and Io to hack the Dean’s personal computer and change the final list of Mentors before the day of the announcement.
Io: It was dangerous.
Diana: But it was worth it.
Urban: True. And to be fair, I was already on that list.
Apollo: Whatever you say, Math Freak.
Pup: My father just used his military connections while I was busy sleeping.
Persephone: My papa threatened to eat the Dean.
Dennis: I just convinced one of my professors to let me in.
Lepidus: How?!
Dennis: Do you want to receive a horse head before going to bed?
Lepidus: No.
Gaius: I just told another “your mama” jokes to one of the School Board Officials.
Lepidus: That’s it?
Gaius: Yeah. What more can you ask?
Domitia: My papa gave Dr. Gaul 200 chickens and 20 dairy cows.
Arachne: My mama promised the Dean and the whole faculty members a free vacation getaway this summer.
Iphigenia: I kid you not, my crazy papa threatened to destroy the food industry if I didn’t get in.
Vipsania: Clearly, I just got in because my aunt (Professor Sickle) threatened to throw the Dean out of a window if I wasn’t on the list.
Festus: Honestly, I just strolled into Heavensbee Hall, crashed the ceremony uninvited, sat down on one of those fancy “Mentors only” seats, and everybody just accepted it.
Lepidus: So you just illegally got in through sheer dumb luck?
Festus: Well, the odds are always in my favor, Leppy.
Clemensia: *sighs* So it’s true. I’m the only student who got in by literally doing my best.
Coryo: Yup. That’s right, Clemmie!
Clemensia: Why am I even here? Just to suffer?!😩
Sejanus: How about you, Heavensbee?
Hilarius: I just blackmailed my creepy father to let me in, or else I’ll stop giving him some of my cute and candid photos of Coryo and Felix.
Coryo: What the f*ck, Hilari!
Felix: How the heck did you take my photos without me knowing?!
Coryo: And why give them to your creepy old man?!
Hilarius: None of your business.
Coryo: Hilari, I swear I will literally file a restraining order against your whole family if you keep giving away my cute photos like candy.
Felix: My granduncle will hear about this!😡🔪
Hilarius: Why are you being mean to me?! It’s not my fault you two were born gorgeous!😭
Sejanus: Can I see those cute photos of Coryo?🥺
Lysistrata: Can I sell those photos?
Casca: Can I have one?
Lepidus: What is wrong with all of you?!
#tbosas#bosas#crack post#coriolanus snow#coryo snow#president snow#hunger games#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#ballad of songbirds and snakes#lucy gray baird#the hunger games#suzanne collins#crack ship#corjanus#snowplinth#sejanus plinth#festus creed#lysistrata vickers#thg#thg fanfiction#thg series#thg fic#felix ravinstill#dean highbottom#casca highbottom#clemensia dovecote#thg fandom#thg incorrect quotes#tbosas incorrect quotes#coriolanus x sejanus
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What season of SPN makes you the most feral? What are your headcanons about it?
Hi Anon!
Sorry it took me so long to answer, usually I’m quicker with asks. First, I needed to think about my answer. Then, my internet went down (ugh). Now, I’m on a work trip.
I don’t tend to have a lot of headcanons for SPN, and the ones I have, I mostly think of in the moment as I’m watching or they are pretty common (for example, Ben is Dean’s kid).
Anyways, after thinking about it, I think the season(s) thst makes me the most feral is the Season 2 & 3 combo. I have to put them together because of the reversal of brother worry that flows so well: Dean worrying obsessively about Sam (and being alone) until the worst happens and Sam actually dies, so Dean sells his soul for Sam because he can’t bear to be without him, so Sam worries obsessively about Dean (and being alone) until he starts throwing some of his morals out the window (metaphorically selling his soul) to try and save him, but the worst happens and Dean dies. These seasons have so many brother feels, then being mistaken for a couple (which I always find amusing), and pain. It all hurts so good.
There are a couple of things that make me feel especially “feeral” in this era.
In “In My Tine of Dying” Sam can sense Dean’s soul (love this), they talk to each other using a “talking board,” and Sam tried so damn hard find a way to save (in a short window of time) Dean, and Dean (who worries that he needs Sam more than Sam needs him) never remembers how worried Sam was for him and how much he watered to save him. I hate that he doesn’t remember. As far as I can tell, when Tessa returns his memories of that time (in Season 4), she only returned the parts involving her, not the parts where Dean saw how much Sam loved him (This is up there with Sam and Dean not knowing the phone call was tampered with in Season 4, for me).
“What is and What Should Never Be” pretty much twists my heart from start to finish. Dean having everything “apple pie” he could want, but none of it being worth it if Sam doesn’t love him (beyond in the “he’s my brother so I have to love him” but NOT like him sort of way). The acting in this one is good too. We get a very different Sam, and Jared plays how different he is from normal Sam and how weirded out he is by Dean trying to show any affection towards him really well. We get to see Jensen play a cute and happy Dean, then we see his heart breaking when he realizes he can’t stop hunting if it means people will die, and I love/hate the more subtle heartbreak of him seeing Sam back away from him. I just … love this episode. (Also, … “What are you calling me bitch for?”).
Everything about Meg!Sam, and Dean saying he’d rather die than kill Sam. Pure gold.
“Mystery Spot,” the whole episode is just fantastic. A tiny hesdcanon I have for this episode is that there was at least a day where Sam tackled Dean to the bed (non-romantically) and just refused to let him up, clinging to him like a koala in desperation because Dean dies every time he leaves the room, or does basically anything. Dean struggles at first but then just lays there and takes it, maybe awkwardly patting Sam’s arm. He is both kinda weirded out, but also secretly happy with how much Sam obviously cares about him. But, of course, it being Mystery Spot, Sam probably accidentally kills him somewhere in there.
One last thing I think of often is, I wish I could see Sam succeeding and saving Dean in the Season 3 finale. It bothers me so much that he couldn’t do it after how hard he tried, and the lengths he was willing to go to, and it hurts seeing how much his “failure” and losing Dean tortured him. Dean ended up inflicting the exact pain on Sam that their Dad did on him by selling his soul for him and dying for him, except worse. Also, I actually like the Angel story line in Seasons 4 to 6, but I loath it after that, except for a few exceptions. So, if Sam had saved Dean, we might have been spared angel politics thst went on for too long, as well.
Anyway, I’ll stop it there because my answer is getting away from me.
Thank you for your question, Anon ❤️.
What season(s) make you feral?
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i decided to make a list of 15 of my favorite plot devices
i think they're mostly in order but all things are subject to change. time to explain my passions
1. asexuals - self-explanatory. the best number one joy of all time is when there is an asexual person, canonically, and not just in my mind palace. so far no show has managed to do this except fucking shadowhunters (and bojack horseman ig but it's not my thing). i know there are people out there who can write way better than the shadowhunters writing room but i don't know why they aren't getting on this. tick tock. example: raphael shadowhunters
2. amnesia - notably different from dementia, which is depressing and bad (thinking about you, dean winchester). amnesia is only good because eventually they get it back. the best thing about amnesia is that it shows you who your Little Guy (gender neutral) is with everything stripped away from them including their sense of self. do they still go for the same kind of coffee? do they still click with the same people they used to love? can they still fight? what do they stand for? it's very rewarding when your little guy acts the same way without knowing why. it's also especially cool for action heroes bc they'll still be able to win a fight and it's like wow <3 fight scenes with emotional stakes!! also i love that it gives us a mystery to solve. sometimes a partially amnesiac character is amnesiac because they did a terrible crime. and they've got to solve it while accidentally working against their past self. fun! examples: fang from ff13. wolverine. why, who did you think i was going to use
3. brainwashing - for the same reasons as amnesia. it's the same concept: take away everything and who is your little guy? the real little guy is in there and they are working so hard to get out. also they will be sooo sad about all the crimes they did later. example: fenris dragon age. d'avin killjoys. and okay fine one other guy we're not talking about
4. enemies to lovers - what's better than two people wanting to murder each other until they don't......always a good side of bickering with this as well. main draw tho is the process of simply two people getting to know one another in the way that you can tell strangers things you can't tell your friends. it's more work to love someone when you hate them and with more work comes a better reward. also, sexual tension. example: so many. fenris/hawke. fenris/anders. botw link/zelda. john/aeryn. bonnie and damon if the cw weren't cowards and i don't even like damon i think he's unforgivably horrible (derogatory)
5. monster under the bed character - i don't know if this has a real name. it's like the One Guy (again, gender neutral) who has shaped the protagonist's whole life who is threat number one in any given situation. Primal Fear of this guy and all they represent is similar to how little kids are scared of the monster under the bed hence the name. it's not JUST an arch enemy or an antagonist it's like. the only enemy that matters. not a bad guy but THE bad guy. if you can boil someone's issues down and stuff them all into a single person and then also make that person scary. and then also they can fight!! fuck yeah fight scenes!!! if you're really lucky this will overlap with either somebody's parent or somebody's ex. examples: AUGH SO MANY. for dean winchester it's yellow eyes. for sam winchester it's lucifer. for fenris it's danarius. for jace wayland it's valentine. for dutch killjoys it's khlyen. for anakin skywalker it's palpatine. for derek hale it's kate argent. going nuts just thinking about it
6. reluctant assassins - crucially if they don't care about being assassins it doesn't work for me (sorry kassandra asscreed). i went into this in more detail here but your assassin simply Must be compromised in some way so they can regret all their little crimes later. otherwise what's the point?? this overlaps so thoroughly with brainwashed iedk if it should count as its own entry but whatever. examples: fenris dragon age. dutch killjoys. d'avin killjoys. elliot leverage. and the other one
7. two-person love triangle - this is a very specific sub-example of secret identities in general which ARE good except they're usually in superhero media and i am really just so totally fucking over the entire CONCEPT of superheroes. anyway it's when one person has a secret identity and the other person forms a relationship with their "real" identity and their "secret" one. and then they feel conflicted about loving two people at once and having to choose but SURPRISE it's the same person! i like this because it has anti love triangle energy. lots of romantic tension and none of the dumb fucking YA bullshit. (apologies to YA.) example: arthur and merlin (who is also "emrys" at least in fanfic)
8. 4th wall shit - when the piece of media is in your house with you. i don't feel i need to clarify further than this because dr gaster is probably spying on me as we speak. examples: everything toby fox has ever made. s*pernatural, sometimes. i also had a deeply haunted experience with final fantasy x.
9. last guy (gender neutral) standing - part of a team or group that got tragically mcmurder prior to the start of the story and this person is so terribly sad about it. crucially this has to be a side character whose relationships with dead people are more important than or equally important to their relationships with the current living cast members. character deaths you almost agree with because then at least they can be with their fallen buds. examples: auron from ffx, noel from ffxiii
10. immortal characters - for the same reasons as above but also they CAN'T DIE EVER so they don't even have that to look forward to. also sometimes they wind up being science experiments. examples: jesse turner from @cambionverse (sorry jesse)
11. evil doppelganger - usually this is in video games where they just take the sprite or the polygons and recolor them to be black but also you have some mirrorverse/au shit going on sometimes and then there's evil twins, and shapeshifters, and clones...i love when everybody gets tricked into thinking somebody is doing crimes but actually theyre just out here and it's their evil double causing problems on purpose and not even being the one to go to jail forever because of it. also, when the evil double has mind-reading powers or whatever b/s to 1. make them a better trickster 2. to make them better at precision-point roasting of whomstever they look like. also acceptable: when you little guy just suddenly turns fucking evil and/or gets possessed and you have to cure them to get them back. idk maybe that should go under brainwashing. examples: dutch and aneela. link and dark link. zelda and the puppet. soulless sam. demon dean. hullen johnny.
12. fire powers - WHO doesn't love a little arson...i feel like this is the same concept behind werewolves which boils down to "fear of anger" bc with anger comes the loss of control and the devastating fallout... your fire guy (gender neutral but idk any fire girls) has to have a lot of self control or they'll fuck everybody up. they're very dangerous! not unlike assassins. also, fire is pretty. bonus if they have done crimes before either on purpose or on accident. examples: jesse turner again, roy mustang aka the OG fireguy, prince zuko
13. big damn reunion - when two people are split up with little to no chance of ever seeing each other again and then they do anyway. this is why i'm never mad when they bring characters back from the dead. examples: i'm actually totally blanking on these, i feel like it tends to happen in fic so much more often. also i've been writing this list awhile
14. time travel - i love! time travel! i love when people see an apocalyptic future and go back and fix it (chrono trigger, ff13). i love when there's a stable loop (tears of the kingdom) or a paradox (song of storms in ocarina of time). i love visits to the ancient past (skyward sword). i love when there's just an actual fucking timeloop (s*pernatural). it's really good!!! examples: oops i just listed them all
15. body swap - last but not least i think it is so fun when two people wind up living each other's lives. it's more fun in tv when people get to switch which character theyre playing but it's good in any form because what a way to get to know someone and also the endless potential for shenanigans. examples: dreamless (webcomic), your name, various episodes of tv shows many of which are bad (s*pernatural's was extremely bad).
ok, that's the list. originally it was 10, then 13, then 15, so i think i'd better stop here.
#personal#liz loves writing#i guess#it's stupid to post this at midnight but if i stick it in my drafts for later i'll never see it again#i'm mostly talking to myself anyway lol
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so uh suncaptor blocked me and although they can’t see it, i do first want to say i am sorry if I’ve upset them or made them feel like they’re being accused of anything. that wasn’t my intent and never is. but I rlly can’t stress enough that the forefront of the problem with their perspective is inherently seeing jack as an infant within canon. like this isn’t an ableism thing, it’s just a factually wrong thing.
Asmodeus says that Jack is new to the world, but not a child.
Jack says twice that he could not be and is not a child.
The only person to ever call Jack a child is Michael, and he explicitly says so to belittle Jack and make him feel weak.
There is plenty of merit in discussing Jack’s limited experience as a factor in his character, but I’ve only ever seen it taken in the vein that he is infantile and therefore a perpetual victim of everything because of it is, which just wrong by the show’s own portrayal. Not only that, but it does it disregard the actual power imbalance he has with TFW, and how that itself so factors into his character. I don’t know how or why it’s brushed off so much, but Jack is literally “the most powerful being in the universe.” He’s regarded as a threat constantly, and repeatedly expresses the very real fear that he might hurt his family or anybody else in a moment of lost control.
I also feel that the idea of his dynamic being considered as exclusively mistreatment by TFW/the other hunters is just. Not true. Like, Dean’s bullshit lasted for two weeks before he got over himself and he canonically never forgave himself for it for the entire two years he got to know Jack better. And again, Jack is the strongest person in the team. Nothing they have can remotely hurt him, and he’s very much aware of it, hence the sunshiny golden boy act. Jack is constantly trying to make himself appear safer. It’s about being liked, of course, but it’s also about being distinctly Not A Threat Because to jack, That’s Why He’s Hated.
when Mrs Butters states that Jack is so powerful Sam and Dean should be afraid of him, he never outwardly refutes that he’s powerful. he only says “but I would never hurt them.” when Michael is monologuing to him about how powerful he’ll become with age, he “doesn’t want to admit that could be possible.” Jack is very painfully aware of his power and what it means for the people around him, and he’s also very aware of their fear when it’s directed at him. He’s felt that fear.
Jack has an interesting and confusing dynamic with TFW from the start: that he must be protected from harm while also being kept from causing harm himself. re this post about his autonomy, and how he wants to be seen as trustworthy and safe, it’s extremely upsetting to Jack when he thinks that dynamic has shifted or changed. he’s blatantly annoyed to have everybody check up on him and look over his shoulder, to give him food tests for his morality; to not really trust him, especially after all he does for them and to belong with them.
I know a LOT of this stuff stems from Jack In The Box and I understand how and why it did and frankly that episode is its own can of worms so ill be as brief as I can and highlight a few things about JITB first:
• re his limited experience being a factor in his character, jack is incredibly naive to the point of it being a fatal flaw, one he cannot afford to have and is very aware of the cost it comes with. he views his naivety as a weakness, as stupidity, and him “sucking when it matters,” and per his need to be Safe and Trustworthy he is always trying to be Smarter and Stronger and Better and More Capable than his flaws or perceived weaknesses. that is one of the horrors of his character, and one which inherently drives him through all of his arcs, especially agreeing to be locked up under false pretenses because, again, HE KNOWS HE IS DANGEROUS AND WANTS TO BE SAFE.
Dean was reliving his childhood trauma after decades of living with it and never fully recovering from it; he had every reason to be behaving the way he did. His conflict with Jack is very easily summarized as two insanely unstable guys spiraling and hurting each other in their own grief. And again, he spent two years regretting and unforgiving what he did to Jack early on and making concerted efforts to amend for it as a father/friend/mentor. He’s a better parent than he’s given credit for is what I’ll end with.
The box was never going to keep Jack forever. We already knew he would get out. It’s hard to say this in a way that doesn’t undermine the trauma Jack indefinitely has from it, but it cannot physically hurt him and cannot kill him. Sam and Dean tricking him into it is not a threat or imbalanced abuse (and I cannot stress enough, these are not normal healthy people with normal problems or normal healthy solutions). In fact, the entire scene of him breaking out and leering out at them through smoke with pure hatred in his eyes just shows that he is the one on the other side of the imbalance, not them. Jack is the threat, and the dynamic is tense because of it.
I’m kind of losing myself in the ramble, but what I am trying to say is that
A) Jack is not an infant. Never was one, never will be, and he hates being called one because it’s almost always in the context of belittlement and him being weak/incapable. he shows sexual and romantic interest, he has a love interest, he’s regarded as a young adult by everybody who respects him (so not Michael). he wants to pull his own weight, and resents being considered a burden.
B) Jack is not helpless; he is a nigh-omnipotent demigod with apocalyptic levels of power, especially in the case of mental/emotional instability. He deeply fears hurting his loved ones, and strives to have constant control over himself so that he can be safe for them. The power imbalance only lies in his choice to not hurt them, which he has chosen against in those silly fits of rage that nobody ever acknowledges
B+ ) and he isn’t a helpless victim of child abuse either; for all of their dysfunctions and “I might have to kill you”s (which have always been there pre-jack), TFW2.0 does genuinely love each other as a family and make efforts to be better for each other. They’ve faltered before, but again, they aren’t normal people dealing with normal situations and they do not have the liberty to respond normally or even appropriately.
C) Jack’s lack of experience and knowledge is a very real thing, but it’s more about him constantly trying to make the right decisions and earn peoples’ trust in him that he will make them, as well as avoid making the wrong ones because that consistently leads to him hurting people who don’t deserve it. All of which is wrapped up in a little pink bow as to Jack asserting his autonomy/personhood and arguing for his capability/responsibility at any chance.
••
I’m not angry and I’m not ever trying to attack anyone. It’s just incredibly frustrating that this specific misconception fumbles the rest of the discussions people have around jack and only ever makes it harder to have them. which in turn is even more frustrating on a personal level because he’s my special interest and I can never not think about him, but there’s hardly anything to engage with on a broader level
#cal.txt#suncaptor#idk if user tags work if you’re not a gif blog but I really do want them to see this and understand me :(#spn#jack kline#tfw2.0#spn fandom#baby jack#I guess is relevant ?#apparently it’s discourse to say a person should be treated like a person. love this fandom#fandom discourse#the thing about autistic special interests is it’s like dying and killing yourself when it’s taken the wrong way#so you can imagine I am not doing well#my legs fuckinf ache bro I’m not adding anymore tags I’m sorry#I’m conking out
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3x02 or me living of crumbs and angst
okay so I have so much and so little to say about this episode first of all: I love all of the scene of Jess in the background just reading idk why, but I love those!!! (Probably because a man reading is the most attractive thing)
So, I am not one to hate on Shane I have nothing against her she was just a teenage girl having fun (and good for her) but oh my god do I hate people who make out in public (I lose that logic for ep10 but ignore the hypocrisy) like I do not need to see all of that!!! but disgust for PDA aside I love this scene Rory looking genuinely crushed!!! (I mean look at her and tell me you don't want to hug her!!!)
And while I do feel bad for Rory, I can't help but think that this on her. I mean look I am a Rory defender till the end BUT she's the one that didn't talk to Jess ALL summer and just assumed that he would wait and while I love seing Rory jealous because of the drama (i love drama sorry) I can't but feel a little annoyed because what did she expect!!! but still the angst is everything. (But while I think it's kind of on her she is obviously allowed too still be hurt!!)
Jess looks at Rory and Rory looks away!!!!! I HATE THEM (affectionate)!!!
He was so clearly trying to test her reaction and there goes my other question: Why did Jess start seeing Shane? So, I'm not idiot and I'm sure that I'm overthinking it and the answer is as simple as that he is a teenager and hormones and everything BUT I'm always wondering what happened exactly that summer how long did Jess wait (because he definitely did before Rory not contacting him got to him) how did he meet Shane? (probably through school?) and in a few episode (I don't remember exactly) he gives a speech to Luke about pining, and he talks about his "relationship" with Shane so did Jess start seeing her to make Rory jealous (I don't think Jess would treat someone like that but idk) anyway if anybody has any theory feels free to share, I love reading them!!!
And... Dean walks in.... Okay I know that he hasn't done anything yet in this episode to deserve that amount of hate but in my defense at this point in the show I have seen too much of his face he is just sooooo boring like he has no personality and when he does have a semblant of personality he acts like an ass. what do you expect from me!!!
Now let's talk about the confrontation!!: And we are back to Jess cornering Rory in Doose's! My favorite thing about this scene is that neither Jess nor Rory are really mad about each other but more about their feelings for each other about how the other seemingly dosent care (although we know it's not the case) I think Jess is hurt by the no contact thing but I don't think he is necessarily mad about it (I think that's the only emotion he feels comfortable with showing right now) Rory is hurt that Jess didn't wait and I personally think that she feels like maybe their kiss didn't mean that much to him and by addition that she dosen't mean that much to him (ah miscommunication how I despise you).
"I could care less about you and Shane" Did anybody out there believe that? Again, I love Rory but I don't call her the Queen of Denial for nothing !
Okay I'm not going to lie I love Jess's rant about Rory not calling him (I love angst sue me!) but again I think that rant shows how he is channeling his hurt and transforming it into anger and you know why? because being angry is easier and I don't want to make things about gender roles but it's also more accepted for men hence why a lot of them end up with anger issues (look at the 'big not so friendly giant' as an example) but gender issues aside I think Jess just as a big problem with showing emotion and at this point the few times that we have seen him do so was with Rory he has shown her a side of him that he keeps hidden to protect himself and he let his guard down and got hurt. So now he is wary.
And again, I hate to say anything negative about Rory, but I get Jess being hurt about her still being with Dean to him it probably looks like she never intended to break up with Dean that she was just using him as a distraction. and Rory is also hurt so she doesn't try to explain that she did want to break up with Dean but then she saw him with Shane and so she changed her mind!!!!
In short, this fight is basically an example of why Rory and Jess couldn't work as a couple at that time. they both needed time.
They are THE blueprint for right person wrong time after all!
(Totally off topic but one of the thing I that think about the most when I watch this scene is there is no way that Rory and Jess fighting in Doose's wouldn't be known all over town after like an hour plus this is where Dean works!!! How did no one hear this!!!)
#the fact that the post is this long with so little content i am really just a rat give me anything I'll eat it up#is the fact that i'm a barchie and rina shipper showing?#reading too much into stuff is fun OK#way too long post again#thank you if you read it all tho!!!#also everything that I say about jess and emotion hits way too close to home#we are the same person at this point#😭#just have a conversation damnit#anti dean forester#because i'm me#literati#rory x jess#rory gilmore#jess mariano#nell is obsessed with gilmore girls tag#nell's rewatch of gilmore girls 2022#nell having a mental break tag
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So some of you are probably wondering what the FUCK I am on about if you missed the pieces.
The short version, is the bronly lane is melting down realizing that The Winchesters was a fan developed and submitted project not too dissimilar to how Wayward started, and they realized who the fuck wrote the pitches and initial storyboards.
As I’ve mentioned before, mid December after the finale, we received first news about how haunted jensen was about the finale and had already taken steps to try to fix it but still was sleepless about it.
A group of several media members and screenwriters pulled together four development klatches to discuss different angles and pitches, which narrowed into two that combined their ideas, which after Patrick helped incite distress in the server, left only one.
People in that server, even part of the development process, were part of the server split. They were not there for the submission process, so it missed them until they started recognizing the script changes as little more than shifts between my different pitch angles while pat was running dumbfuck circles about it.
These people mostly hate me, and several report to him, so he’s realizing it is, in fact, true, and that our project was submitted before there was ever Guttedgate.
Pat’s entire universe is crumbling right now, because for all of his effort of acting like he understands what’s going on, he’s been completely sitting in the dark, and now even a few of his own moles know what the fuck is going on.
What seemed to nuke it into their brains was seeing the script framing of dean change from my post-15.18 variant pitch to the post-finale road and me just posting the pitch rooms to be a shithead and remind them, even past the ban/blocks. Like. They’d see it.
And these same people know what I mean when I say things like “Billie paid me a visit.”
And the wincels are all collectively pissing their pants right now.
we just kept it quiet so they wouldn’t fuck this one up and left them to petty mindless bitching.
and I'm sorry, I’m gonna say Pat. I don’t want to hear shit about him magically changing his name the exact second he became a viral fucking failure. By picking an even more gendered less neutral name so conveniently nobody can point out that Pat’s a big giant cockup, because nobody knows who “Will” is. Fuck off. Delete yourself dude.
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