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#like sir??? i want my eggs CRACKED
an-idyllic-novelist · 2 months
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Husk with Violet Evergarden!reader scenario
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warnings: aged-up!reader [early to late twenties], spoilers for episode 4 to the season finale, mentions of physical abuse and attempted drugging, violence, Husk's language, dismemberment, mentions of cannibalism.
Hey guys, and welcome to another Hazbin Hotel fics, this time featuring our grumpy bartender and one of my favorite characters, Husk! :) This is a collaborated project with not just @isuckatwritingsobenice, but also with @vikkirosko, @witch-of-the-writing-desk, and @riddle-simp, who gave me honest feedback on the rough drafts and how to make it the best fic I could create before sharing it with the world.
If you would like to see more of Husk x Violet, please do let me know know in the comments section or as an ask! Like always, bullying is not tolerated here so if there is any implication of it happening here, this scenario will be taken down immediately. If you have nothing nice to say, do not say it at all.
With that being said, sit back, relax, and let's see who will win the full house at the card tables tonight :)
Reblog to support content creators!
Husk isn’t gonna deny it. It ain’t like him to deny the truth when it’s staring at him right in the fucking face. He thinks you are a little bit of an oddball. You don’t smile, you wear the same outfit every day, and you don’t eat much either unless Niffty practically drags you to the staff’s dining room from wherever she found you hiding. Normally, it’s one of two places: out in the backyard, or the greenhouse, because you’re the hotel’s groundskeeper. And that was on your days off.
 Like Angel, you worked for an overlord, but your boss wasn’t that shitbag Valentino or Vox or Velvette. Your boss is Rosie, the owner of Rosie’s Emporium in the Cannibal Colony. You were her personal secretary. You had been on her payroll for over ten years, working from nine to five unless you had to stay later. She did not seem to mind you staying at the hotel so long as it did not affect her reputation or your work ethic in any way. 
So far you’ve kept your word. Alastor actually seemed to be happy that you were around. 
Maybe. Husk couldn’t fucking tell what that son of a bitch is thinking anymore. But back to you. 
You, who believed in Charlie’s work.
You, who participated in each activity and helped around without getting paid for your time.
You, the expressionless ex-military soldier, has been on his mind recently and he did not like it. 
He lost the ability to feel anything years ago. 
Nonetheless he continued to observe you from afar. When you weren’t busy with watering plants, you were seen in different parts around the hotel with the others. 
You would sit with the princess in the parlor, comparing ideas on what tomorrow’s group exercise should be, even when the only two ideas you’ve suggested were shot down immediately by Charlie. She didn’t like the idea of group bonding through hand-to-hand combat but loved the concept of showing appreciation to one another through handwritten letters. Vaggie approved the former. The latter? Not so much. 
In the kitchen you would go through the cookbook with Niffty and Alastor, trying to decide on tonight’s dinner.  They allowed you to help out, at least when it didn’t involve cracking eggs. Apparently you were not very good at separating the yolk. 
When Sir Pentious was away from the hotel doing God knows what, he trusted you to look after the Egg Bois until he got back. You kept them busy around the greenhouse though they tended to make a bit of a mess. 
Angel started to work extra late at the studio after his show and tell presentation. Something about making a big commercial and Val wanted to make big bucks on this new product that the Vees were launching in a week. You must have noticed that something was off about him, but you didn’t say anything to him. No words of encouragement, no comforting hand on his shoulder. All you did was clench your gloved hands into fists, watching him leave and…unsure of yourself. What you should do. 
Husk heard you asking Niffty what were some of the kid’s favorite foods about that time, and she was more than happy to help you with whatever it was you needed as long as you left the kitchen sparkling when you were done. You were concerned about the kid. Least from what he could remember. He drank a lot that day. 
When he woke up much later after falling asleep at the bar, hearing your footsteps descend down the grand staircase and towards the kitchen. Groggily, probably stupidly on his part, Husk thought it would be a great idea to know what the fuck you were up to so early in the morning. Turns out you were trying to cook something, judging from how you looked at the ratty cookbook propped up on the counter and the wide array of ingredients spread out. 
He saw you cook  finely chopped onions, garlic, and minced ground meat in the large frying pan on the left side of the stove. You stirred something in a smaller sauce pan on the right side with a wooden spoon. He saw you handle all of the ingredients with great care, placing them in a baking dish  even when you weren’t wearing your leather gloves. A small shudder crawled down his spine at how the kitchen lights bounced off of the adamantium skeletal prosthetics that acted as your hands. 
He didn’t even wanna know how exactly you lost them in the Great War. 
Everything was soon laid out, layer by layer and placed in the oven. He didn’t know he stood there for so long, even when you began to clean up the kitchen with a rag. Time ticked by slowly, and then a delicious aroma tickled his nose even as he took another swing of the half-filled booze bottle he was holding. He was about to leave you alone, knowing you’d be fine when he saw you pull out the dish with your hands and no oven mittens on, you fucking moron! Then his mind remembered something that stopped him from making an entrance. You couldn’t feel anything with your prosthetics, not even as you placed it on the stove top to let it sit. 
A couple of hours later - maybe he can’t keep track of time anymore so it might have been the following morning - he saw you giving Angel a large paper bag every morning before both of you left the hotel, and telling him to have a good day. 
Angel grudgingly thanked you later on that evening when he got back…though did say your garlic bread needed some work. The next day, he gave you a paper bag, telling you to taste real Italian grub and try to replicate it. 
Guess it became a game between the two of you, ‘cause Angel was slowly being someone real and not some fake  whiny bitch. 
As odd as you are….you cared about everyone in your own way, even when the words that came out of your mouth angered someone or made them cry, you tried. You never asked for help unless it was necessary, trying to learn everything on your own. And you were smart, Husk will give you that. 
And he…he doesn’t know if he had the heart to tell you that redemption might not be possible. Unlike him, you still carried a spark of hope. You believe in the princess. He doesn’t want to be the one to see you reach your breaking point, to be dragged into a swamp of despair and get drowned in all sorts of addictions to cope with the pain. He was…anxious. No. He was scared for you. He wanted to help you but he was afraid that by intervening, he would just make matters worse.
It was better to just stick to the sidelines with a bottle of booze and watch everything happen like the bartender Alastor wanted him to be, right? Well, turns out he was wrong. 
One night after he made Angel a drink and called him out on his bullshit for being fake, the whiny little bitch stormed out of the hotel. Vaggie tried to make him go out and bring him out, but Charlie intervened. All she asked him was to make sure that Angel was okay. Do not force him to come back if he isn't ready. Obviously judging from the distraught look on her face, something happened between the princess and Angel. 
Husk did not know what or why, and he really did not want to play the role of a goddamned babysitter. Not when it was actually a slow evening and he didn’t have to hear these fucks bitch and moan for hours on end. But Vaggie’s glare, knowing Alastor would force him to do it because he fucking can and not knowing what would happen if he actually violated the terms of their contract, he left the hotel. The first place he went to were the streets. No luck. And no one had seen him. When he moved his search to the bars, he spotted Angel going inside one of them. 
Long story short, he was going to hang back and just keep an eye on Angel getting drunk off his ass with some shady sharks in a corner booth until he saw one of them pour something into Angel’s drink. He took care of the fucker, got Angel out, and listened to him. Angel Dust was not just an act. It’s who he needs to be. Drinking and getting high is his escape. He wants to be damaged so that he won’t be Val’s favorite toy anymore. 
Then when it seemed like they came to an understanding with a song, those bastards opened fire on the streets, targeting him and wanting Angel to come back to have some ‘fun’. Yeah, fuck no. 
That was when he heard car tires screeching against the asphalt, doors opening and closing with more shouting. Husk gritted his teeth. “Shit.” He turned to Angel. “Stay down. I’ll take care of this.” He pulled out his cards, ready to hop onto the roof of the pink Volkswagen they were hiding when he heard a  shnk, a high pitched squeal, then a gurgle. 
THUD.
Shnk.
THUD.
C-crack.
THUD.
“Who the fuck is this bitch?! Kill her, kill her you stupid asshats!” 
“Holy shit, toots?! The fuck - why is she here?!” Angel cried. Husk raised his brow, craning his head as far as he could without being in range of a bullet to see what was going on. There were only two people Angel called toots and he was pretty damned sure they were back at the hotel, safe and sound. Not one of them blitzing across the street, dodging bullets and slicing enemies down with a hunter’s knife in one hand, a large carpet bag in the other. 
He blinked. Nope. He was sober. Shit. He thought as you weaved between the shitheads, disarming, decapitating, and snapping their necks in no particular order. You weren’t exaggerating when you said you were a weapon for the army.  When he saw a flash of movement from the smaller grunt, twirling a knife and aiming it for your head as you pumped lead into his friend, Husk made his move. Hopping onto top of the car and threw his cards. One cleanly sliced the asshole’s neck. 
He quickly made through the growing crowd, running towards you as he threw some dice into a hammerhead’s mouth. But when he turned his back towards them, he felt something light and strong coil around his neck, cutting off his air supply. 
Fuck. Garroting wire! Husk flailed around  scratching, kicking,  and trying to get loose but the fucker was too damned strong. Black spots began to appear in the corner of his eyes when he felt a white hot stinging pain graze his left cheek, then something warm and sticky with a metallic scent. Blood.
The body behind him dropped, and so did he, yanking the wire off  him and inhaling deep gulps of  precious oxygen. Husk looked up and saw Angel with a shit-eating grin and a Tommy Gun in his upper hands. 
“Eat lead, sucker!” The porn star cackled, firing several more bullets into the corpse and his buddies that were closing in on them. Angel grinned at him, extending a hand to help him up.”I told ya. I can handle myself, baby.” Husk felt a grin stretching his own face as the fella pulled out more weapons with more arms. Well….not something he was expecting. 
Between the three of them, they made quick work with the rest of the gang and their reinforcements. Like him and Angel, you were covered in grime and blood but you were all right. 
“Are you two all right?” You asked as you wiped off the blood from your knife with a handkerchief, the carpet bag by your feet and in pristine condition. “No limbs missing that weren’t missing before you arrived?” 
“Yeah, we’re good.” Angel said, putting away his guns and extra limbs. “More importantly, why the fuck are you out here instead of the hotel?!” He interrogated, his voice lowering an octave as he glared at you, stomping towards you. Before Husk could stop him, Angel grabbed  your cheeks with his hands and pinched them. “You know these streets are dangerous, toots! How many times do Vags and I gotta tell ya?! Come straight home when you’re done with work!” Then he blinked, his face turning white, his eyes widening in horror. “Toots,” He said slowly. “Y-you ain’t hooking up with anyone around here, are ya?!” He yelled, now pulling your cheeks outwards as if you were a cartoon character. 
You didn’t flinch from the cheek pinching or pulling; instead, you looked at him in slightly confusion. “I don’t understand. What does fishing have anything to do with this except that these men were quite literally loan sharks standing outside a nautical-themed bar?” You asked. 
“Toots.” Angel said warningly. “If you don’t give me a straight answer, I swear to fucking God I am going to yeet you off a rooftop.”
“ ‘Yeet’?” You repeated.
“[First Name], just tell us why you’re here.” Husk said, already feeling a headache coming on and in need of a drink. You turned your attention to him, then back at Angel before you spoke.
“Rosie sent me out on a last-minute errand to get fertilizer for her plants. But by the time I got there, the shop was already closed. I was on my way home when I heard the gunshots, and saw the two of you being pinned down. I was not going to leave my comrades behind when I could help them. So I did. And now,” You looked over at the bodies strewn across the street. “I have what I need. Two birds with one stone, as Rosie says.”
“Ya mean ‘kill two birds with one stone’, toots?”
“Yes.”
“So, by fertilizer, ya mean these schmucks that we just totally obliterated.”
“Yes.”
“Food for plants.”
“Carnivorous plants. And if the fertilizer is fresh, the better it is for them. Rosie loves her plants very much.” You said, pulling away from Angel and grabbed the carpet bag off of the ground, walking towards the nearest body. “If you do not want to be here, I suggest you leave quickly.” You knelt down, laying the bag down and opened it, laying out assorted tools. Bone saws, knives, a large roll of plastic wrap, etc. “Rosie says I have gotten much quicker at dismemberment.” You carefully peeled off your gloves, replacing them with gray surgical ones. 
Husk glanced at Angel, eyebrow raised. It seemed like they were thinking the same thing because the latter spoke up with a toothy grin. 
“Baby, I was a mobster long before I was a porn star. ‘Sides, hacking up a body all by yourself is gonna take you all night. Better to have more hands to get the job neater an’ faster, am I right Whiskers?” 
Husk smirked. “Can’t argue with that, Legs. Guess you’re stuck with us until this job is done. You got another bone saw in that bag of yours?” He asked with a grin, somehow…happy to actually be doing this. Who would have thought a new friendship started with cleaning up bodies?
You stared at them for a moment, obviously stunned because you must have thought they’d leave you here alone, before you pulled out two more bone saws and more rubber gloves. Your instructions were simple enough: the severed pieces couldn't be any bigger than your body, and they needed to be wrapped up tightly in the plastic wrapping or else you’d have to pay a hefty cleaning bill to get the blood out of the bottom of the bag. Angel’s extra limbs came in handy for the latter task. Between the three of them, they made quick work with the dead loan sharks and everything was loaded inside the carpet bag, and no one was the wiser. This was Hell, after all. Cannibalism, gun fights, and dismemberment was commonplace in these parts. 
You thanked him and Angel profusely, bowing your head to them before you shyly asked if they would be interested in getting a bite to eat. To Angel’s knowledge, the closest place that is still open late at night is Devil’s Diner, which is half a  block from Jackpot, the casino Husk had owned from his glory days as an overlord. The food wasn’t too bad there, and cheap too. 
Now that he thought about it, Husk had worked up more of an appetite after the fight and so did Angel. Better to do that than trying to cook something and waking up Niffty. So, the three of you went to Devil’s Diner. Of course, you tried to just have a cup of coffee, but neither he nor Angel were having it. Conditioning your body to minimize nutrients to complete a mission, his ass. 
Both he and Angel persuaded you to try the day’s special with some water plus dessert. Whatever you couldn’t finish, get a to-go box. Husk himself ordered a sandwich with chips. Angel got pancakes, sausage, strawberries, and a strong drink because he fucking deserved it. 
Conversation started slow at first, but as the orders were placed and drinks were served by their waiter, words were exchanged, and stories were shared. Angel revealed he had a little brother and more family down here, though he rarely talked to them anymore after getting into the show biz. Husk confessed that he used to be a magician in Las Vegas, showing off a trick with his cards. 
They shared a good laugh over Val’s shitty eyesight. It shouldn’t take thirty minutes to count three bills, but it fucking did for the moth man.
You told them that you were once commissioned to help a playwright finish his newest script after being on a hiatus for many years, but he had been a difficult man to work with because he had no interest in doing anything else except drinking his days away. You had actually acted out a scene on the lake where the hero would journey home to be reunited with her father after vanquishing a monster. That was when you began to understand how grief affects people in different ways…and how your actions affected the people you had killed on the battlefield. People who had families and had one-day wishes that would never be fulfilled because they died by your hand. You are here in Hell because you are, you were, a weapon to be used in war. Reconnecting with people, with your emotions…it’s a lot harder than you thought it would be. 
“That’s what being human is all about.” Husk said. “Ya make mistakes, ya regret the choices ya wish ya would have made, or should’ve made, and ya need to live with it.” He knew that better than anyone. 
“The old timer’s got a point but look at how far you’ve come!” Angel exclaimed, spreading his arms out as he began listing all the good things you have done and accomplished since you came to the hotel, though you still needed to learn how to bake real Italian bread, not just heat up the cheap frozen ones in the oven. Husk silently agreed with him, taking another swing of his whiskey. In the end, you got a to-go box, but Angel said he could take it back with him to the hotel. You still needed to deliver the body parts to your cannibal superior and Husk said he’d go with you. But you insisted that you would be fine on your own, and that he and Angel should get some rest. 
“Rosie will not let me stay long in the emporium with how late it already is. She’s very particular about keeping the lights on after business hours.” You said, the corners of your mouth tugging downwards into a frown as your gaze fell upon his wings. “Husk…you were twitching a little and I heard your spine crack earlier, and your voice sounded a little raspy. I do not know what the cause of your ailments beyond the scuffle with those loan sharks could be because I am not a doctor…but it would be better if you and Angel took it easy for the rest of the night.” 
Keep in mind that Husk had once been an overlord. Yes, he’s been out of the game for a while, he won’t deny it. But he was not going to admit that you might be right.  “There’s nothin’ to worry about, I’ll be fine. If I can handle a fight, taking you where you need to go will be a walk in the park.” He grumbled, ignoring Angel’s snickering. 
He watched you raise your hand, fingers outstretched towards one of his wings, and then you pulled it away to clench your hand into a loose fist. Husk saw your hesitancy isn’t because you were disgusted at the sight of them, or his appearance. Hell, you had more bloodstains on your clothes than him and Angel combined. No. You were hesitating because you were afraid that your touch might hurt him, or make the pain he was feeling worse. 
Husk grinned as he grabbed your wrist, pulling it forward and carefully coiling the gloved fingers around the outer part of the left wing near his forearm to give it a squeeze. “See?” He flexed the muscles. “I’m fine. You ain’t got nothin’ to worry about.” It took him a second to realize how impulsive his actions were, seeing how your eyes widened and hearing Angel release a low, teasing whistle, muttering “Kinky~!” under his breath. Great. The kid wasn’t going to let this go, not even after a few drinks. Shit. Fuck. 
He tried to ignore the warmth flooding his face as he kept his gaze on you until you nodded your head, removing your hand from his wing. You were convinced that he was more than fine to accompany you back to Cannibal Colony, at least for the moment. You turned to Angel. “Are you going to be okay, heading back to the hotel on your own?”
Angel smiled toothily. “Toots, you should know me by now. Sex isn’t the only thing I’m good at.” He winked, holding up the to-go boxes as he turned on his heel, waving his extra hands over his shoulder. “See ya back at the bar! Ya still owe me a drink, Husker~!” Now that he left the diner, it was time for the two of you to make your exit. 
You walked down the steps and looked at him. “Ready?”
Husk nodded. “Yeah.” He then held out his paw to you. “Let’s get going.” You nodded, placing your hand in the center of his own, covering the golden-heart shaped paw  before he scooped you up in his arms, one claw under your legs and the other around your shoulders. You stared at him.
“What-”
“Hang on tight.” Husk did not give you a chance to respond, unfurling his wings to their full length before putting all of his weight on his back leg, catapulting the two of you into the crimson skies of the Pride Ring. Walking was fine and all, but as you mentioned, it was already pretty late. Why waste more time when he could fly there? 
So here you were, held like a princess with one arm wrapped around the carpet bag and your hand placed on his shoulder. But instead of screaming your head off or pleading with him to land somewhere, your attention was elsewhere. You were captivated with the multi-colored pin pricks of light down below,  your mouth partly open and [Eye Color] irises widened by a fraction. It was obvious that you hadn’t seen Hell from above. Or maybe you hadn’t traveled by air before. Either way, seeing such an expression on your face, one that wasn’t calm or expressionless like a doll who lived by someone else’s order.
You looked like a living, breathing human who had her own thoughts and could find beauty in the most bizarre of places. 
It almost made Husk consider extending this flight for a little longer until he realized he’d have to explain to you in great detail as to why he did decide to do it. So he brushed it off, and followed your instructions to your destination. 
Twenty minutes later, the two of you arrived at the stone steps leading up to the glass double doors of Rosie’s Emporium. The dimly lit streets were mostly empty, the bars were still open and echoed with raucous laughter and jazz. It was tempting to slip inside there for a drink, but Husk wasn’t too keen on being around cannibalistic drunks. Alcoholic he might be, he wasn’t that stupid. And he didn’t want you to get in trouble with the overlord who ran this place. She was your boss, not his. 
He watched you put a hand into your coat pocket and pulled out a small golden key. You put it in the dead bolt, twisting it to the left before pushing the door open. “Miss Rosie?” You called out, stepping inside the darkened establishment. “Miss Rosie, it is me. I am back.” 
A moment of silence enveloped the place, but only briefly because soon a tall, thin woman in a burgundy dress with an oversized hat and feathers materialized in front of you. She was at least two or three heads taller than you, smiling down with rows of sharp, gray teeth and pitch black orbs. “Oh there you are, I was startin’ to really get worried! Did John give you everything for my precious little sprouts?”
You quickly explained what had happened, how you could not see John because he had closed the shop by the time you got there but the fertilizer you collected from a gun fight you got into and came out victorious should be more than enough. Rosie was all but delighted, twirling in a small circle as she cooed.
“Ohh, I knew it was a good idea to hire you from the moment you came for the interview! I wish I could’ve seen you at work, using that bone saw and hacking away at corpses, but there’s always another day~! You know how many people come in wishing to have their husbands or wives ripped from limb to limb, at least the ones that taste bad! Ah?” She stopped dancing, craning her long neck to stare at him. “Who’s this you brought with you, [First Name]?” She looked over her shoulder, wagging a finger at you with a raised brow. “Come now, I know I said I wanted you to find a good fella someday, but this one’s way too scruffy for you and you’re much too young for him! Oh, I’m just kidding, I know you’re dedicated to your job! Well? Introduce us!”
You did, introducing him to the overlord as Husk and the hotel’s bartender. Alastor must have told her about him because she immediately called him ‘Alastor’s kitty cat’ and ‘how he used to be such a sophisticated-looking fella until he gambled against Alastor’. She laughed. “Well, small world, after all! [First Name], be a dear and take that bag into the back, will you? I’ll feed the little monsters myself, and you can go home! Oh, did you want some pinky fingers to go? I’ve got plenty of them and you probably didn’t eat dinner again, am I right?”
“Understood. And no thank you, though I will take up on the offer to try one of those roasted legs next time.” Husk almost gagged at your monotone words and Rosie’s cackle, but he had to keep his composure. As far as he knew, you were not a cannibal. And if you were…well, you probably wouldn’t have gone out of your way to help him and Angel, or at least order something from the Cannibal’s Section at the diner instead of force feeding yourself on the daily special. 
You might have only been gone for a few minutes, but it was awkward to stand near Rosie, the way she smiled at him like she was thinking about adding him to her menu for not dressing up in a vintage outfit. At least he hoped not. He could barely contain his relieved sigh when you appeared again, hands empty with no bag in sight. 
“It’s done.”
“Wonderful~! Now, you march up to bed as soon as you get in the door young lady! No staying up late!” She said, following the two of you to the door. “Give my regards to Alastor and tell that man he must come back soon! These halls have lost their sparkle without his lively presence! Oh! Before I forget~!” She snapped her fingers, and in a puff of dark red smoke, a large wad of bills materialized in your hands. “Here’s your paycheck! I know it’s a little early but I have a very important task for you to do tomorrow!” She grinned. “Go to town and buy yourself some new clothes for work!”
You faltered. “But -”
“Tomorrow is your day off I know, and I really, really love your enthusiasm when you try to come in to help around, but a proper lady of society cannot live on just one dress and a pair of boots! Oh, and you will also need to get a Hellphone in case something like this happens again! No ifs, ands, or buts! If Alastor throws a fit about it, I’ll talk to him! Now, shoo! Husker, be a dear and get my darling worker back to that hotel safely, all right?” She added with a wink.
Husk grunted exasperatedly but did not say a word. The last thing he wanted to do was go pissing off an overlord who just happened to be the Boss’ friend. So he just nodded, and followed you out of the door. When it shut behind them with a click, things got…awkward. Now that you weren’t carrying around a bag full of body parts, there was no need to fly all the way back to the hotel. Or at least that he thought you were thinking. 
But he told you that he didn’t mind, since Charlie was probably already worried about the two of you even if Angel had somehow managed to persuade her otherwise. So…you agreed, albeit hesitantly. Husk didn't waste any more time. He scooped you up in his arms and took off into the night skies, though with this being the Pride Ring, there was really no way to tell if it was day or night anymore. Cannibal Colony soon became another darkened spot, getting smaller and smaller until it disappeared from sight. 
As soon as the two of you made it back to the hotel, Husk had no doubt everyone would be giving him shit. Angel would make comments on his little ‘date’ went, which he’ll deny in every possible way, and the princess might be cryin’ from anxiety or relief knowing that two of you were all right. But that was then. This is now. And…he’s come to like holding you in his arms. 
“Husk?”
“Yeah?” He felt the arms around his neck tighten slightly…but not that it wasn’t too uncomfortable. It felt…okay. Like you were trying to say something, but you struggled to find the right words to say without sounding like an ass. 
“Thank you…for everything.”
His lips stretched into a grin. "You're welcome." 
He felt the cold of your palms, it would seem, through the gloves, but it was not so important. Because as the two of you flew back to the place you called home, he saw you smiling down at the Pentagram in wonder, whispering the places you had visited and or wondered what they were or if he knew anything about them, to which he either answered yes or no. It was such a small smile, but how could he not commit not it to his memory? 
And maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad to get a drink with you on a night around town. Or make one for you at his bar. He knew how to make a good non-alcoholic pina colada, even an alcoholic version of it. But who knows? He’ll take things one step at a time, and see what happens. 
What Husk did not realize at the time, not too far in the distant future, you would be the one to close the gap between them…and there would be something more between the two of you. Something that made his days in Hell just a little brighter. 
Taglist: @riddle-simp @kanroji-san @star-fawn21 @luthefriendlywitch @kameyo-kumo @solesurvivorjen @solandis-does-stuff @ladydoe8 @victheauthor @anielly-2010 @dilucragnvindr-my-beloved @bones4thecats @mmelionsblog @frompeach @nixie-writes @tired-of-life-86 @trecllllllll @lanxianschoenheit @22carolina08 @justamegafan @the-cat-queen-peasants @oucx @diamondzoey @alyriaschoenheit @lbcreations-blog @alastorsart @nunezs-stuff @sillypenguincats @theunknowntravel3r @imperfectbloodmoon @no1sillybilly @likesugarandcyanide @bladeismine @bones4thecats
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itstheghostofmypast · 2 months
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Loyalties
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Kim HongJoong x (f) Detective Reader
Summary: He held her itty bitty heart in his bloody palm and she knew that, but did she love him enough to let him win his little game everytime? Did he love her enough to risk her safety?
Genre: Hurt/Comfort Fluff
Warnings: Joong's a perv (Idk okay), mention of gunshots, strong language.
Word Count: 2.5K
Read Time: 12 min
Rating: nc-17
Networks: @cromernet @k-labels
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She hated him, no she despised him, no she loathed that disgusting, horrid, weasel of a man. She despised his cheap ass fur coat, his unnecessary bling and those pants! Her blood would boil at the mere name of that demonic, immature moron, she despised every little detail about him; his angular face, his sharp eyes that would glimmer like the stars swirling with pure mischief, his light chuckle that would ring in her ears like the voice of an angel, oh and she really, really, abhorred the way he'd look at her, with the warmth of pure love - NO!
Mentally slapping herself she cleared her throat, rehearsing the first stanza of hatred that ran hot in her veins for the infamous leader of MATZ. Technically it was just two men, boys who were usually called in for petty crimes turned into men who were now challenging the system- a knock-off of any vigilante out there. Batman, Daredevil, even the Punisher, see these men had class and style- MATZ, well, they had style...but perhaps the fact that explaining how her once high school friends are now notorious criminals or wannabe Robinhood would be a bit difficult. Perhaps this little fact only added to her current presiding problem, one she had mentioned to her lover, explicitly mentioning her concerns; for the safety of his life and her professional career. Once again, that bastard let his deflated ego in the way, her words bouncing off it without ever reaching his useless, dysfunctional brain.
So, here she stood, in front of her captain, watching him go on and on about the need for order and justice, the need for law and police work, and more importantly the need for loyalty. Loyalty, a trait that was of importance, though her's was being questioned.
"Where do your loyalties lie detective?"
"With the force, Sir" With a salute she looked dead ahead, not at him, no, through him, trying to figure out the answer to this very question. Where did her loyalties lie?
"Then how is it, you've been leading the task force to capture MATZ for three years and each time you are close they miraculously slip away!" his large, meaty hands slammed on the table, her partner beside her flinching, though not a jerk left her bones. Instead, her eyes flickered to his face, instantly scanning his form, this man looked like anything but eh definition of justice, safety and security - if anything, he looked more like a criminal than that moron of hers.
"I assure you, Sergeant, my loyalties lie where my heart has ever since I was a little girl. My friendship with Joong- " pausing she cleared her throat, ignoring the way he raised a brow at he before glancing at her partner as if hinting at something "MATZ, both Kim Hongjoong and Park Seonghwa ended as soon as they started this life of crime."
"I don't trust you an ounce detective, not one bit." slumping back in his seat he stared up at her, "But the Captain trusts ya for some reason, believes you a good egg- I just think you're a cracked egg, too far gone for anything else- so I'll tell you this, I'm on to ya, I'll be watching you, listening to you, from the moment you step into his precinct ill be watching your every move."
.
"Well, that was something." Jongho muttered, closing the door behind him, "Do you...want to grab a bite or something?"
"I'm good." giving him a small smile she sat back at her desk, sifting through the papers, not a word written processing in her already occupied mind. The traffic of thoughts only stopped when a hand rested on hers, "I may be younger than you, but we're partners, and my mentor has always told to me trust my partner. "
His soft words, followed by his cute smile had her sigh in defeat, sitting back down and nodding, "Some mentor you have, huh?"
"She's the best of the best." Puffing up his chest with pride he placed his hands on her desk, "Now, what can I do, to make my mentor feel better."
"Nothing, really Jong, I- " her words caught up as she noticed something. Her eyes caught the way her system was on, the screen lit up, the mouse icon moving on its own, she was being - shit. Instantly reaching for the cable, she pulled the plug on the CPU.
"Um...did you see what I just saw?"
"Jongho, get Yunho and tell him to track whatever the hell that was."
"Yes, Ma'am."
.
The door slammed shut, the darkness just adding to her anger, of course, he wouldn't turn on the lights, no lamp or bulb, choosing to sit on the small balcony - maybe she should just push him off, the idea extremely tempting at this point.
Placing her badge and gun on the table she made her way to the small balcony at the other end of the living room, making sure to turn on a lamp on the way out. Sliding the door open she sighed, the cool breeze prickling her warm skin, a shiver running down her spine as she stepped out completely, barely missing the small table as she made her way to the seat her boyfriend was currently sprawled on, limbs extending like the roots of the potted plants behind him. His head lay against the cushioned headrest, turning his head to face her, an easy smile making its way to his face, the warm glow of the fairy lights from the wall beside him only adding onto his beautiful face, making him appear oh so soft and lovable.
"Hey babe." his words barely above a whisper.
"Joong~" she sang, slowly getting on top of him, making herself comfortable until she was fully straddling him, his hands automatically finding their place on her back, holding onto her tight, her arms loosely hanging around his neck, "Did you miss me?"
"You bet your pretty ass, I did," he mumbled, eying the way she moved closer, her chest pressed against his, fingers playing with the hair at the base of his head.
"Aw~ baby" she pouted before gripping onto the ends of his hair and tugging hard, his head tilting back as a whimper escaped him, damn, his girl was in the mood- or so he thought.
"I didn't you f*cker." her grip tightened, tilting his head further back with another tug, his own fingers digging into her sides, trying to keep some form of control.
"Why~" whining with his eyes closed, he treasured the burning sensation, his princess knew how to play and he liked it so very much.
"Did you get Youngie to tap into my system? Do you want me to get fired? Or do you want me to shoot you in the d*ck?"
"Aw baby~ it's just work." his eyes finally snapped open, standing up without warning as a high-pitched squeak left her lips, arms instantly locking around his neck, much like her legs around his waist, staring up at him wide-eyed.
A chuckle echoed in the dark of the night as his hands finally gripped her close, "Don't worry doll, I'd never let ya fall." Walking them into the apartment he looked down at her frowning, "Did someone piss off my princess ?"
"Joong, " sighing she glanced away, letting him carry her around like she weighed nothing, like she was a mere muse he was addicted to, clinging onto him, onto his fur coat- wait God, he was wearing the orange one, she hated it.
"Yes, love?" slowly setting her down on the bed he shrugged off his jacket, going to the cupboard to hang it, his precious baby wasn't cheap!
"I can only protect you if you trust me, but if you hack into my system or pull shit like that and they fire me, who knows what- I- I just can't lose you" her words clogging up in her throat, the burning sensation all too evident behind her eyes, " what I mean is" sighing she paused to rephrase, his casual attitude just adding to the frustration as he walked towards her, swaying like a cat, stopping right in front of her sitting form, "Hongjoong, I'm serious, with me, it is just a game of cat and mouse but if I get replaced, if its someone else, it'll be serious and they might even-"
"Shhh..." placing a finger on her lips he hushed her, his hand caressing her cheek, admiring how she nuzzled into his palm, "You know love, " he whispered leaning closer till their noses touched, "I am a very dangerous man, I am more than just your lover."
"But-"
"I'll lay off your system," brushing his lips against hers, "Detective." Pulling back he smiled down at her, admiring how she looked up at him with teary eyes filled with nothing but love and worry, letting his intrusive thoughts win and squishing her cheeks with one hand, laughing at her whining in protest.
His other hand pulled out something from his back, showing her the shiny metal toy of his, "If it were someone else, other than you, that f*cker would already be dead, you're the only reason why I haven't torn this system down to shreds." with one last kiss to the forehead, her lovable idiot of a man once again promised to stay out of her way, at least for a while.
.
"This is team two, The ground floor is clear."
He did it again, he must've done it again, no way in hell did he not do it.
"Team three reporting from floor 1, all clear."
"Boss" Jongho mumbled beside her, turning off his comm, "Did you tell him?"
Sighing she adjusted her bulletproof west as the two walked into the basement, "Yes, I told that bastard, my system wasn't tapped, I double-checked." Of course, her junior knew about her little relationship, she did teach him that a mentor and mentee should have no secrets, even ones like these. It didn't take him long to accept it either, saying something along the lines of, "Is he really that bad if he's fighting against a system that has failed us?"
"Because Yunho just texted me saying your phone was tapped instead. "
"I hate him."
"Team two reporting, roof's all clear boss."
"This doesn't look good," he mumbled, trailing hot on her heels as the two entered the basement, a parking lot with two entrances. They were going to split up, "We can't go empty-handed, we need something at least."
"I know. Let's split up, and be on your guard."
With that the two parted ways, her footsteps echoing across the empty parking lot, the scraping of her boots muffling the jingle of her gun, one that was aimed and ready to shoot. A low chuckle caught her ear.
"STOP RIGHT THERE." She yelled, turning to aim at the fool, his smirk pissing her off even more, "Don't.Move."
"Hey doll." the deep voice from beside her alerting her senses, "You should go check up on your partner, baby bear's knocked out like Goldilocks." Seonghwa chuckled, making his way to stand next to Hongjoong who had his hands up for a show, the smug look never leaving his face.
"Aw, come on detective, just let us go and we can call it a night."
A loud bang, followed by a series of bangs, resonated across the entire parking lot.
"ALL UNITS TO THE BASEMENT, NOW!"
.
"You okay?" she asked, pressing the icepack against the bump on his head, "Told you to wear the helmet."
"Are YOU okay?" he asked, others around them looking at their head's bulletproof jacket, staring at the four shots right across it. Though that's not what he meant, he was definitely asking about something else.
"Yeah, great actually." Patting her head she turned around when someone called her name, eying the office who handed her a phone, "It's the sergeant, detective." rolling her eyes she pressed it against her ear, "Hello?"
"Detective. I heard about the encounter but didn't think you had it in ya to shoot him. Glad the bulletproof vest worked though, you're a good agent, we can't risk losing. I take it back, you have my trust and support. Get home safe."
.
Slamming the door shut she sighed in relief, kicking off her shoes she made her way into the living room, oh? The lights were on, what a pleasant surprise, wonder what happened?
"Hey honey how was work?" she smirked, leaning against the wall, arms crossed as she watched her shirtless boyfriend glare back at her, both ignoring the other man in the room who was tending to the gunshot wound.
Raising a brow, he scoffed, "Oh great love I got shot today by a bitch-"
"I'm still holding my gun Joong, don't test me"
Slamming his hand on his thigh he yelled "YOU SHOT ME- you SHOT ME IN THE SHOULDER!" hissing in pain as Seonghwa clicked his tongue, mumbling a stay still as he patched up the hole. This was all he could do before Yeosang could come over and have a proper look at it.
"YOU TAPPED MY PHONE"
"WELL YOUR SERGEANT WAS GETTING TOO COZY WITH YA- man's a perv, I know it" he spat back, shoving Seonghwa out of the way with his free hand, earning a curse in return.
"HONGJOONG, HE WAS DOUBTING MY LOYALTIES!" she explained and pointed at herself, "AND YOU SHOT ME TOO!"
A dramatic gasp echoed across the room followed by a hand placed on his chest - his heart, mind you-, causing Seonghwa to roll his eyes, here we go again, he should've never befriended these two in high school. Mumbling to himself about their idiocy he walked out to the balcony, deciding to smoke instead of listening to these idiots.
"First of all, YOU shot ME first and" he yelled and turned to point at the balcony, "That motherf*cker shot you, not me! I agree four times was a bit excessive but hey you were the one who kept going on and on about us being too soft on ya." Turning to her with raised brows, "And loyalties? Babe, come on, I mean, you and I- like we like- I've been in you multiple times, day or night and-"
"CAN YOU NOT!" she screamed, gesturing at the open door of the balcony.
'I don't care, pretend I'm not here, that's what I'm pretending too!' was all they could hear from the balcony, causing her face to resemble a tomato, though her shameless boyfriend was as nonchalant as ever, continuing his little speech, half naked in the living room.
"All I'm saying is, I don't question your loyalties because I know you've got the hots for me like I completely get it, I'd wanna sleep with me too, but your creep of a boss knows his soggy sausage aint worth your time and-"
"I should've aimed for your d*ck"
"Would you really though? Cause I know you loyal to my d-"
"And this conversation is over." with that she stomped away, speed walking when she heard the loud cackles of Seonghwa followed by the laughter of her own idiot of a man. No, boys, they were still the same shameless teenage boys, she accidentally had the unfortunate fate of meeting in school, when she was nothing but a victim of loneliness, turning her grey dull days into chaotic, colourful ones pulled out of the ass of the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland.
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cinnbar-bun · 2 months
Text
Popularity- Cross Guild's Day Off 2 (Cross Guild x Reader)
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Summary: In which you work with the three Cross Guild officers and Buggy attempts to prove his popularity through a poll. Of course, it's never as simple as it really should be in Cross Guild.
Rating: SFW/Crack
Word Count: ~3k
Notes: No relationships are defined, so feel free to headcanon whatever you want. I know it says x Reader up there and I wrote it in mind that it's a weird ass polycule but I made sure to leave it ambiguous for your reading pleasure. Made in mind with part 1, but can be read as standalone. Features cameos from Alvida, Galdino, and Daz Bones.
A/n: I love these three goofballs so like feel free to request stuff with them or what scenarios you'd like to see them in please???
Read Part 1 here! Read this chapter on my AO3 here!
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“It’s really not fair! It’s not fair at all!” Buggy screamed. Mihawk, Crocodile, and you sighed at whatever it was that seemed to be, well, bugging Buggy. 
“Will you stop your complaining? Some of us are actually trying to do work here,” Crocodile growled while his fingers continued clicking away on the calculator. “(Y/n), go and hand me the reports for-,” 
“Right here, Sir,” you said as you handed him the stack of papers he wanted. Crocodile smirked proudly while his eyes narrowed at Buggy. 
“See, why can’t you be like (Y/n)? They know how to get work done.” 
“Wha-! I get work done! Plenty of work!” 
“Juggling isn’t work.” 
“Is too!” Buggy stomped his foot. 
“Hardly,” Mihawk chimes in. 
“Grrr… you two are just jealous of me! Jealous of how I’m the Star Clown and you two will just be boring, old men!” 
Mihawk and Crocodile glanced at each other knowingly and rolled their eyes. 
“You’re still bothered by the fact you were not important enough to have any good cards in the deck, aren't you?” Mihawk states bluntly, not bothering to be gentle with Buggy’s fragile ego. 
“SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!!” Buggy shouted, gaining the attention from his subordinates outside the office. 
“Aw… someone’s upset,” Crocodile teased. You huffed at the two stoic ex-warlords and tried to soothe Buggy. 
“Buggy, it’s alright. They’re just silly cards. Look around you, you have so many employees happy to work for you because they really admire you as captain,” you say genuinely while patting his head. Buggy sniffles and nods. 
“You’re right, (Y/n), you’re right,” Buggy agrees. He wipes his eyes and nose with his hand before he bounces back to life, clenching his fists. “That’s very true! All these people love me and would die for me! So those card makers don’t know anything! I’m the most popular one here!” 
“Wait, what…” you wince, while Crocodile and Mihawk groan. 
“Thanks, (Y/n), now he’s gonna do something stupid again,” Crocodile sighed. 
“Buggy, all I’m saying is-” you try to fix your error, but Buggy shakes his head. 
“Nope! You just gave me an amazing idea!” 
“Here we go again,” Mihawk mumbles. 
“W-what’s the idea?” You ask Buggy. 
“Obviously, to really settle the matter, we need to hold a popularity contest!” Buggy proclaims. 
“We really don’t have to. No one cares about this except you,” Crocodile says blandly while he opens the folder you gave him. 
“Haha! You’re just saying that because you know deep down that I will win when it comes to Cross Guild!” Buggy eggs Crocodile on. “They love me here!” 
“I really don’t care-” 
“So, to finally gather once and for all who the most popular is-” 
“God damn it.” 
“I’m going to poll the others!” Buggy announces, grabbing a random clipboard from your desk. 
“Isn’t that rather biased?” Mihawk asked. 
“Biased? What are you talking about?” Buggy raises his brow. “You think Imma lie about this?” 
“Yes,” all of you respond. Buggy lets out an offended gasp and frowns. 
“Well then, what do you suggest, smart guy?” Buggy yells at Mihawk. 
“Having only you go around and then return with results will obviously not be the most accurate. We need to send a third party that won’t lie,” Mihawk explains. 
The three men turn to look at you. 
“Why do I have to do it?” You fold your arms. “I have work to do!” 
“I’ll pay you extra for this week in order to have Buggy shut up,” Crocodile states. 
“Do you think I can be swayed so easily with money?” 
“Yes,” the three men respond. You swipe the clipboard from Buggy. 
“Damn right I am,” you state as you pick up your favorite pen from your desk. 
“Now then, since you’re going to be polling, I expect truthful and honest answers,” Mihawk demands. “No one can lie or cheat this.” 
“Before we do this, none of you are allowed to know who voted for who,” you add. “I’m not having you fire or hunt down some poor employee because they voted for Mihawk or something.” “Well that won’t happen,” Buggy comments. “No one is gonna vote for Mihawk to begin with.” 
Now it’s Mihawk’s turn to be offended. “What do you mean by that, Buggy? Do I need to silence you for good?” 
“Eek! All I’m saying is, you hardly ever step out of the office or interact with anyone!” 
Mihawk stays silent then mumbles, “I interact with others…” 
“Oh really? Name one person you’ve interacted with,” Crocodile demands. 
“You can’t do that, either,” Mihawk counters. 
“That’s just because I don’t give a shit about these people’s names. I still talk to them, though,” Crocodile corrects. 
“Fine, (Y/n)!” Mihawk huffs. 
“They don’t count.” 
“Why don’t they?” Mihawk crosses his arms. 
“Because we all see them every day in this office,” Crocodile chides Mihawk. “Name someone.” 
“Okay, I guess I cannot name anyone,” Mihawk relents. “Not that it matters in the slightest, by the way. This is a silly and pointless little game.” 
“See? No one is gonna vote for you!” Buggy laughs. 
“I guess I should kill you now, Buggy,” Mihawk says as he draws Yoru. 
“Gaaaahhh! No! Please don’t!” Buggy cries, latching onto you for safety. 
“Buggy, please let go,” you sigh. The clown does so shakily and you begin to write on the paper in your clipboard. “Okay… Buggy, Crocodile, Mihawk. There we go. I’ll go around and ask, then. See you guys later.” 
“Before you go,” Crocodile begins. You turn to hear him out while he has a big shit-eating grin on his face. “If you’re going to talk to Mr. 3… knock before you enter.” 
Your eyes practically bulge out of their sockets from what this could mean as you nod and exit the office. 
“Why the hell did you say that?” Buggy questions. Crocodile chuckles, taking a puff from his cigar as he shakes his head. 
“Oh, they’ll see soon enough.” 
-
“Favorite head of Cross Guild?” An employee scratches his head. His coworker beside him does the same. 
“Wait, uh, they’re not gonna kill us for answering this, are they?” The other one asks. 
“Crap, you’re right. Is this some way to weed us out or something?” 
You shake your head. “No, no, not at all! This is just a… uh… thing they’re testing for some new merchandise,” you lie. 
“Ah,” the two men nod along. “That makes so much sense.” 
“Buggy,” the first man states. 
“Mmm… yeah, Buggy,” the second adds. “He never harps on us like Sir Crocodile.” 
You thank them for the response and tally it to the votes. 
“I guess Buggy was right,” you mumble to yourself, seeing as he currently had seven votes out of the seven people you asked. “Maybe we could send these results in to those cardmakers and get a cut of the merchandising.” 
Just as you’re about to walk away, Alvida strolls into the room. 
“Oh, Alvida! Good morning,” you smile at her. “Can I have a moment of your time?” “(Y/n), dear,” Alvida runs a hand through her hair. “What do you need from the most beautiful woman of the sea?” 
“Well, the higher-ups wanted to run a poll,” you show her the paper. “Please vote for your favorite head of Cross Guild.” 
She studies the paper for a moment and purses her lips. “Hmm… you know what, I vote for you.” 
“What?” 
“What? Just put a tally for you,” Alvida suggests nonchalantly. 
“But, um, I’m not a head of Cross Guild,” you argue. 
“So? You practically are their fourth one. I’m sure they won’t mind. And if they do, they can take it up with me,” Alvida brushes your concerns aside and takes the pen from you. She writes your name down and adds a tally. 
“Can I ask why you want to add me?” 
“Simple, dear.” Alvida chuckles. “You’re not like those brutes upstairs. You get worked to the bone by them yet still retain your own sense of self. Do you know what that is?” 
“No, I don’t think I know what that is-” 
“Passion!” Alvida throws her arms in the air. “You are passionate, clean, stylish, and most of all, you are quiet! If anyone is worthy of my vote and attention- it is you!” 
“Wow, thank you,” you comment, impressed that Alvida actually gave you a nice compliment. 
“Yes, yes, well, what do you think about becoming my assistant instead of working for them?” Alvida winks. 
“Ah sorry, I’m pretty happy where I am right now,” you quickly shut down. Alvida clicks her tongue. 
“Hm… perhaps you’d prefer to be my partner instead? You would be a good match by my side.” 
“Would you look at the time!” You awkwardly laugh. “Bye, Alvida!” 
“Bye, darling. Don’t worry though, we’ll pick this conversation up another time~,” she waves. You sigh in relief as you walk away that she didn’t mace you immediately. Still, there’s work to be done. 
You walk into the staff lounge and greet the other members there, who cheerfully greet you back. 
“Sorry to bother you guys, but if you could just fill out this poll, that would be great. And don’t worry, no one will know of the results, so please be as honest as you can!” 
The clipboard gets passed along by the staff members, who quickly add a tally mark to the poll. In less than a minute, all twenty people in the lounge have responded. 
“Wow, thank you guys. You guys are quick,” you joke, taking back the clipboard. 
“The choice was obvious,” one of the employees answers, and the others nod. You wonder who they voted for when you look at the paper, only to see your name has now over twenty marks attached to it. Your eyes widen and you politely thank the others as you step out of the room. 
It was one thing when Alvida did as she pleased, but now the others were voting for you in droves. You took a deep breath. Crocodile, Mihawk, and Buggy surely wouldn’t kill you for this, would they? After all, Alvida herself said they could bring it up with her. Yeah, that was okay. This was just a silly joke anyways. 
You continue to collect polls, feeling touched yet also nervous when you found that every employee had checked you off as their favorite. It got so bad that you had to use a second page to collect all the tallies that the employees were adding to your name. 
As the number of employees left to ask dwindled, you remembered to get Daz Bones and Galdino’s polls. You figured the choice would be clear for them- Crocodile. After all, they were very loyal to him and even continued their work relationship into Cross Guild. It would also allow for Crocodile to at least get some vote from his current tally at zero. 
You had scoured for them all around the base, but didn’t find any sign of their presence. Just as you were about to give up, you found Daz Bones peacefully sitting, probably waiting for his next assignment. 
“Daz! Can I-” 
“(Y/n), I have no interest,” he cut you off. 
“It’s for Crocodile,” you add, knowing he wouldn’t participate otherwise. Daz nods and then urges you to step closer. You show him the clipboard and he raises a brow. 
“Crocodile really cares about this sort of thing?” 
“It’s mostly because of Buggy,” you explain, and Daz nods, connecting the dots. He quickly tallies a mark to Crocodile’s name. “Thank you, Daz!” 
“You’re welcome,” he gruffly responds. 
“Oh, and do you know where Galdino is?” 
“Why should I know? Perhaps he’s in his room,” Daz shrugs. You should’ve guessed that but wave goodbye and walk to Galdino’s room. You’re about to knock when you remember Crocodile’s ominous warning echoing in your head again. 
“Knock before you enter…” 
You were going to do that anyways, but the weird way Crocodile said it made you grimace. You nervously rapped your knuckles against Galdino’s door. You heard a huff and a lot of grumbling as Galdino swung open the door. 
“What do you w-,” he angrily yells until he gasps when he sees it’s you. “(Y/n)! Ah! Uh! Please excuse me!” 
You briefly notice a large wax statue on the table before Galdino slams the door on your face. You jump when you hear Galdino freaking out and throwing things around his studio. Something metal is grating against the floor as you hear Galdino struggle to move the obviously heavy object. 
“G-Galdino? Is this a bad time?” You call out. 
“No, no, no! It’s fine! Perfectly fine! Hahaha there’s nothing weird going on here!” Galdino answers from inside his room as something crashes to the floor and Galdino swears. 
It’s silent for a moment until Galdino opens the door, leaning against the frame and trying to give you a charming smile while some wax is now splattered against his pants and shirt. 
“So, (Y/n), what brings you to my studio?” He asks while forcing his voice to sound lower, pushing up his glasses. 
“Ah, the heads wanted to take a little poll. Mind answering?” 
“Anything for- I mean-,” Galdino coughs and lowers his voice again. “Anything for you, (Y/n).” 
He takes the clipboard from you and begins to notice the options, quickly marking a tally next to your name. 
“There you go- wait a minute!” He looks horrified as realization sets in that there’s only one tally next to Crocodile- most likely Daz, he thinks. Crocodile would absolutely know right away that Galdino didn’t choose him, and the thought makes Galdino nearly pass out. “I-I need to change my vote!” 
“Sure,” you give the clipboard back to him and Galdino scribbles over the one he gave you to mark one next to Crocodile. 
“Kh... but we’re supposed to be honest…” Galdino mutters. He glances at you, and seeing you patiently waiting and smiling at him makes his heart tighten. 
Gah! Who am I supposed to choose?! My muse or my boss?!
“Are you alright, Galdino?” You asked, making Galdino struggle to form words. Instead, he scribbled over the mark he put next to Crocodile and re-marked a tally next to your name. 
He hands the clipboard back to you and you smile and wave to him. “Thank you, Galdino!” 
“Y-you’re very welcome!” Galdino shouts, unable to control his voice properly around you. You turn around and head back to the office while Galdino lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 
He was most likely going to die after this, but seeing your smile was all worth it. He could die happy, even knowing that Crocodile would probably drain him of life later. 
You, however, didn’t notice the longing look Galdino gave you as you open the door to the office. 
“Well, I got all the votes!” 
“Well, who won?” Buggy immediately jumps forward and steals the clipboard from you. He notices that Crocodile and Mihawk hardly have any, with only Crocodile have a mark. “See I wo…” 
His face darkened as he noticed he had only seven votes. 
“What’s the matter, Buggy?” Crocodile smirked. “Can’t handle the fact you lost?” 
“I… wha…” Buggy grips the clipboard roughly, nearly snapping it in half. “How the hell did (Y/n) get all the votes!?” 
Crocodile and Mihawk are caught off guard. 
“Wait, what? (Y/n) won?” Crocodile repeated. 
“I thought I told you to be fair and not cheat!” Mihawk accused you, his golden hawk eyes glaring into yours. 
“I-it wasn’t my fault! Alvida was the one who put my name on the list!” You try to defend yourself. 
“Give me that-” Crocodile snaps as he swipes the poll from Buggy’s hand. Crocodile grunts as he notices page after page marked with tallies from the employees choosing you. He sees Mihawk has none, but that his name has one mark (Daz, of course), and one crossed off (that bastard, Galdino-). Given Crocodile’s attentiveness, he does recognize that yours and Alvida’s handwriting is different, so your story is credible. He huffs and tosses the clipboard, making Mihawk lean over curiously. 
“Not even one vote…” he murmurs. 
Buggy, meanwhile, is distraught, crying on the floor and banging it repeatedly. 
“It’s not fair! Not fair at all! I hate this! I’m the star!” Buggy wails out loud. 
At first, Crocodile did this as a joke to satiate Buggy, but even his own ego is hurt by this new poll. 
“I take it back, you’re getting docked again,” Crocodile threatens, pointing his cigar at you. 
“What?! But I spent all day getting this with the promise of money!” 
“I changed my mind! I wanted a good poll, not whatever the hell this was!” Crocodile yells back. 
“Recount! Recount this!” Buggy shouts. 
“I refuse to lose this competition. Give me an hour, I will win this,” Mihawk says, pushing himself off his couch as he walks out the door to do who knows what. 
The ensuing commotion causes some of the Cross Guild members to peek through the door and watch Buggy screaming in agony at losing while you’re sobbing at the fact you’re losing money due to this dumb poll. 
Alvida rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. 
“Would you guys cut this noise out? It’s driving me mad!” 
“Alvida! This is all your fault!” Buggy yells at Alvida in tears. “I was supposed to win, not (Y/n)!” 
Alvida frowns at Buggy and twirls her mace in her hands. “Are you questioning my decisions?” 
Buggy gulps as he sees the mace casting a shadow over him. 
“N-no, not at all!” He quickly corrects himself, praying Alvida will not maim him to death. 
“That’s what I thought.” 
257 notes · View notes
sycamorelibrary754 · 4 months
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The Piggy Story
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Summary: Yelena is Melina’s Secret Santa and takes a crack at a few handmade piggy presents!
Pairing: Yelena x reader (platonic), Natasha x reader, Alexei Alanovich Shostakov x reader (platonic) Melina Vostokoff x reader (platonic)
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: None
A/N: If you read Happy Thanksgiving, you will understand this story. If you didn’t, please enjoy the random silly fluffiness. 😂
For two weeks Yelena had been sneaking around putting everyone on edge. Coming and going at all hours of the night. Not letting you tag along like you normally would when she would walk Fanny. At first, you thought maybe she was preparing for an undercover assignment. Every time you asked her what was up, she evaded answering the question with a face that said, “If I tell you, I have to kill you.” Honestly, it was par for the course. You had learned not to overthink your sister-in-law’s idiosyncrasies. If it was possible, they made you love her even more.
You were still in your pajamas playing cards with Wanda on the sofa of the common room when Natasha walked in. “Hey detka, have you seen Yelena? She was supposed to be in a briefing with me and Steve 20 minutes ago.”
“No, I haven’t,” placing your cards face down on your lap. “Not since this morning anyway.”
“She’s been acting odd lately,” Nat said.
“Odd in general, or odd for her because you know there’s a difference,” Wanda offered.
“That’s true,” pointing at Wanda.
“If you see your best friend, would you tell her that her sister is going to kick her ass?”
“Aye aye wifey,” you giggled with a mock salute and a quick peck to her lips.
Your wife rolled her eyes, “It’s a wonder I married you.”
*^~^*
The next day you and Yelena were putting up Christmas decorations around the compound. You were dancing around the halls in your favorite Christmas sweater singing happily.
“Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
Peter’s on the go
Laughing all the way
Bells on Fanny ring
Making Tony fight
Wanda wants to flip a coin
And sing this song tonight
Jingle bells, Clinton smells
Banner laid an egg
Ant mobile lost a wheel
And Loki got away
Hey!”
“That was very nice, y/n, now how about something from White Christmas?” Handing you a cup of hot cocoa topped with whipped cream.
No can do, boo. Only one performance per Christmas season,” sitting beside her on the sofa.
You both took a small sip of the chocolate beverage, the steam still rising hypnotically off the mug.
“You know, one of mom’s pigs is named Clinton.” Yelena grinned sheepishly.
“Really? That’s funny, I only know Alexi,” slurping some of the whipped cream off the top of your hot cocoa.
“Mom named Alexi, then she asked if Natasha and I would do the honors of naming the other two. Clinton was the poser’s choice.”
“I can’t believe Nat never told me. What name did you choose?” You took another sip of your beverage.
“Sir Francis Bacon.”
You almost choke on your hot cocoa, as you sputter and it rolls down your chin. “Oh my God. That’s adorable! You’ll have to point out which is which when we go to your parents house for Christmas next week.”
“You’ve got some whipped cream on your cheek.” Leaning over and licking it off.
“Oh my God! Who are you, Fanny?! I don’t know where your tongue has been! Ick!! Get some hot water, get some disinfectant, get some iodine!” You jumped up and ran to the bathroom as Yelena lapsed into giggles and fell on the floor.
*^~^*
The next few days are a splendor of Christmas activities. You had just settled down on the sofa wrapped in your favorite blanket to watch The Family Stone with the rest of the team when you noticed you were missing someone.
“Where’s Yelena?”
“In my lab,” Tony replied, tossing popcorn up in the air and catching it in his mouth.
“Umm, why?” Slightly confused.
“Blondie wanted a private space to work on a project. I told her she could use the lab as long as she didn’t joyride any of the suits.”
“Yelena in your lab with unlimited access to nanotechnology.” Nat pondered, grabbing two Christmas cookies and offering you one before snuggling up beside you in your blanket ball.
“Go down there and ask her if she wants to watch the movie,” you said, throwing popcorn across the room at Kate.
“Why me?” The young archer asked.
“Because you’re closer, and she’s starting to freak me out,” you reasoned.
“I wouldn’t worry about it. FRIDAY has an eye on her.” Tony said.
*^~^*
You awoke at Melina and Alexi’s on Christmas morning to the wonderful smell of Cinnamon Rolls and coffee. You agreed to do Secret Santas with your wife’s family this year. You and Natasha were wearing your matching Christmas pajamas ready to exchange presents, but Yelena was unusually eager and insisted on going first.
“I’m so excited! Mama, I was your Secret Santa this year and I wanted to try my hand at a homemade gift,” Yelena said, grabbing Melina’s tablet from the counter and tapping a few buttons on the touchscreen. “Come on in, boys!”
The door opened and all three of Melina’s pigs toddled into the house. As the three swine rounded the corner, you were greeted with the sight of each one wearing a custom-crocheted vest. Red on Alexi, Purple on Clinton, and Orange on Sir Francis Bacon. Each vest was expertly crafted and adorned with their name. Piggy prestige at its finest.
“Surprise, Mama! Now, not only will the piggies be warm in the winter, but they are stylish individuals with lots of pockets!”
“The pigs are wearing vests,” Nat deadpanned. You squeezed her hand with a smile, a silent plea to be nice.
“Not vests, sestra. Pests! Piggy vests. An invention of my own creation.” Yelena corrected. “Just call me the next Tony Stark.”
“The pigs are wearing Pests,” you revised with a giggle.
Thank you so much, sweetheart! They are wonderful. You know, I always thought they needed some sort of clothing. The winters are so harsh in Russia, and they certainly deserve something special.” Melina declared, planting a kiss on her younger daughter’s cheek.
“Alexi has the best Pest! Look at him, girls. He looks just like the Red Guardian. Ready to take on Captain America.” Alexi added, petting his namesake.
“Oh my God, it’s like living in a Dr. Seuss book,” Nat joked.
“I didn’t know you knew how to crochet?” Turning to your best friend.
“I didn’t. No, no… Kate Bishop does though. She taught me. It only took $100 for the yarn and supplies, which I stole from Stark, and a promise to never show up in the middle of the night again unless it’s an emergency.”
“That’s where you were sneaking out to at all hours of the day and night?” Surprise written all over your face.
“Of course, where did you think I was going?”
“Undercover, the Multiverse, I don’t know!” Turning beat red the longer she looked at you. “You were scaring the crap out of everyone.”
“Ha! That is funny. You are so funny, y/n.” She placed her hands on yours and Natasha’s shoulders. “Now, I don’t want to spoil the surprise, but by New Year’s Eve, a couple of people in this room are going to be stylish individuals as well!” Wrapping you both in a warm group hug.
Natasha looked over at you behind Yelena’s back, and you couldn’t help but smile.
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deadghosy · 25 days
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Not a request, but I wanna know from you...
HOW THE HAZBIN HOTEL CHARACTERS WOULD ACT DURING NIGHT 5 IN FNAF.
(Including the Vees and the angels).
Please do it my brain is rotting/pos and ur the only type of blog I can ask these questions lmao
Mmmmmh, I haven’t played fnaf since i was gah damn 6 years old and I only saw like night 1. But I heard about how damn hard night 5 is. So here we go.
Lucifer, this man…..THIS SHORT LIL FUNNY MAN IS MOST DEFINITELY TRYING TO NOT BLOW UP THE WHOLE THE WHOLE RESTAURANT. But he fails as Freddy turned off the lights only to get knocked by a big ass apple Lucifer had thrown. Lucifer is staying in his palace watching cartoons.
Charlie, what makes you think she would be in there without her father who is telling her “GET YOUR ASS BACK HOME!” With her lovely girlfriend. But nah honestly she’ll try to pull a Snow White and try to talk to the animatronics that wants to kill her as freddy’s eyes start to flash its light.
Vaggie, I mean she would be so skeptic to even take the job. So when it reaches night 5, you better believe she turned into the meme of “fuck this shit I’m out.” Immediately she is stabbing them with the spear.
Alastor, PFTTT- this man is burning the place down dead ass😭. This man will probably so just sit and drink tea as he causes another fnaf 3 😭😭
Angel dust, mosttt definitely will try to flirt his way out of being skilled and put into a suit. If that fails. He’s running max speed in them damn high leg heels his got while clutching his pearls and purse 🧍🏾
Husk, he’s too drunk for the damn job 😭 he probably acts like that Mike version that like got bite by foxy? Yk that Version? Uuuh what’s her name rebonica? Yeah that mike version but just grumpy and an alcoholic
Sir pentious, he’s crying as he curls up. 😭 poor thing, and his egg boil ate trying to survive the night as one of them dead by being cracked. But chica probably wants to adopt one of them eggs lol
Cherri, she’s blowing that bitch up if foxy tried running towards her.
The Vee’s, they are the trio who argue who is doing what duty to watch them robot fuckers. But mostly I think Vox will make them haywire and just walk out as if he is some badass
Adam, “yeah fuck no” is what he would say if one of them try to get him. He’s dead ass throwing them out the office and closing all the doors.
Lute, …..she’s straight up leaving the minute the power goes out. Not in fear, but she is tired of this shit and wants to just relax.
Sera, What makes you think she would even be in that place- 😭 she’s literally in heaven just minding her business when she gets teleported surrounded by robots. She might as well just opens portal and go to heaven and leave them looking dumb.
Emily, no. Just no. This sweet BABYYY😭😭🥺 but if I had to, she would be like Charlie and pull a Snow White while trying not to cry in fear.
THATS ALL I GOT!
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myveryownfanfiction · 9 months
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18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI
tags: @illiana-mystery, @eclecticwildflowers, @iobsessoverfictionalmen
warnings: slight spoilers for dial of destiny, smut, swearing, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids)
Rubbing my eyes, I yawned as I opened my door. My next door neighbor was standing in the hallway with a baseball bat, in a tshirt and his underwear.
“dr. Jones?” I asked sleepily. “Everything ok?” I had to raise my voice slightly above the music. Indiana jones turned towards me, eyes wide and a look of annoyance on his face. Something flashed across his face when he took me in before settling back into his normal mask of indifference.
“the damn music…” he grumbled. I nodded. “Woke me up.” I furrowed my eyebrows.
“isn’t it a work day?” I asked as I ventured into the hallway. “I thought there was an understanding…” Indiana nodded.
“apparently it’s moon day. Whatever that means.” I looked at him confused. “Thank you. I’m not the only one.”
“let me handle it.” I said with a pat on his arm. Pounding on the door, I waited until Larry appeared in the opening. “Hi ya Larry.”
“(Y/N).” He groaned. “What you want?” I raised my eyebrows at him.
“Well Larry. See we got a problem. Both me and dr. Jones. Turn the damn music down.” Larry rolled his eyes at me.
“it’s moon day. Like I told him.” Larry said and tried to close the door. In one swift movement, I took the bat from Indiana and jammed it in the opening. Larry stared at me as I used it to force the door back open.
“Now Larry that isn’t very nice.” I said sweetly. I could feel indianas eyes burning a hole in the back of my head. “Listen Larry how’s this. You turn down the music and I don’t call the police with a tip about your little recreational plant. What do you say to that?” I asked as I stepped into the doorway. Larry stared at me wide eyed. I could hear Indiana chuckling behind me.
“how…” he asked.
“oh come on Larry. A skunk smells better than that weed you buy.” I scoffed. “Now the longer you sit here talking to me the more the price goes up. I could get you for dealing. Or better yet, dealing to a minor.” Larry’s eyes widened further. “Yeah I know all about Hannah. So why don’t you just turn down that music.” Larry scrambled over to the radio and turned it down. “Good boy. Now if we hear it again, and dr. Jones will tell me if he hears it although I’m sure I’ll hear it first, I won’t ask. I’ll just call.” Smiling at him, I flipped the bat onto my shoulder and went back into the hall. The door closed behind me and I smiled over at Indiana. He laughed and shook his head.
“where’d you learn to do that with a bat?” He asked as he took it back. I smiled at him.
“Took a couple self defense classes.” I shrugged. Indiana smirked at me.
“they don’t teach that in self defense.” He pointed out. I winked.
“exactly.” I laughed. Indiana laughed and shook his head.
“Well thank you (Y/N). I greatly appreciate that.” He said, smiling at me. “Damn you’re something else.” Turning to head back to his apartment, I bit my lip.
“hey dr. Jones!” I called after him. He turned on the stairs to look at me. “You have breakfast yet?” He shook his head.
“not yet. Why?” I cracked my knuckle nervously.
“why don’t you come eat with me. I was about to make some.” I said with a smile. Indiana looked back at his apartment and then back at me before nodding. “Great! But uh…sir you may want to put on some pants.” Indiana looked down and then back at me.
“right.” He agreed. “Be back down in ten.” I nodded and opened my door.
“door will be open. Just come right in.” I called after him. Walking into my kitchen, I put the bowl I had set out back in the cabinet. Grabbing a pan and the eggs, I started making scrambled eggs while the coffee maker started up. I grabbed the toaster and tossed in two pieces of bread before I heard the door open and lock.
“(Y/N)?” Indiana called.
“in here. Straight back down the hallway. Last door on your right!” I called back. I heard Indiana walking through the house and finally appearing in the doorway. “Hi!” I chirped when he walked in. “Coffee is almost done and just started the eggs.” Indiana nodded and walked over to the coffee machine. Reaching up, he grabbed a cup from the cabinet. I blushed and looked away when his shirt rode up.
“toast?” Indiana asked. I nodded.
“nearly done.” I pointed to the toaster. “Butter and jam are in the fridge.” Indiana nodded and opened the door. He grabbed both before grabbing the creamer. Pouring himself some coffee after the beep, he added creamer and leaned against the counter. Taking a sip, he watched as I finished up our breakfast.
“thanks again. For dealing with Larry.” Indiana said as he took the plate I offered him. “And this.” Smiling at him, I made up my plate and went to sit next to him at my kitchen island.
“so how’s it going at the university?” I asked as we started to eat.
“making me retire.” He grumbled out. I paused and looked over at him.
“what are you going to do?” I asked softly. Indiana sighed and shook his head. “Dr. Jones…” I started.
“don’t. Please. Don’t.” He looked over at me and I nodded.
“ok.” I whispered. “Would I be off base to ask about your wife?” Indiana shook his head.
“divorce finalized.” He grumbled. “Still can’t believe she did that. But it is what it is.” I stared down at my plate, mind playing ping pong with itself. On the one hand I was sad for him, divorced and forced to retire in the same week. On the other hand, he was available.
“I’m sorry dr. Jones.” I said softly. He looked over at me and waved a hand.
“like I said. It is what it is.” Taking a sip of coffee, he held up a finger. “How many times do I have to tell you to call me Indiana?” He asked. I shrugged while suppressing a laugh.
“how about we say one more time.” I joked. Indiana leaned over to nudge me with his shoulder. “You forget I took archeology 101 and it’s a habit.”
“and you forget we had drinks the second you dropped the class.” He shot back. I laughed and nodded as Indiana chuckled.
“I did forget about that. Because I got so drunk I’m pretty sure I came on to you.” Indianas laugh abruptly cut off and I blushed red. “Which you didn’t know I remembered. Right.” I quickly got up and grabbed our empty plates. Putting them in the sink, I started doing the dishes. I bit my lip to keep back the wave of tears that threatened to spill over.
“I…(Y/N)…it’s…” Indiana tried as he put his hand on my back. I stilled and turned off the water.
“It’s not ok. You were my teacher, even if I had dropped the class. And you were married. I shouldn’t have…” Indiana turned me around and pulled me into his chest.
“It’s alright.” He whispered as he kissed my head. Sighing, I melted into the hug. A few tears escaped and I tightened my grip on his shirt. “It’s ok.” He whispered again.
“Your shirt is on backwards.” I sniffed. Indiana started laughing and pulled back to look at me. Ducking to look at his reflection in the microwave, he shook his head.
“so it is.” He smiled at me. I laughed and wiped my eyes. “Feeling better?” I shrugged and he hugged me again. “Would you feel better if I said that my marriage was on the rocks before you did that?” I shrugged again. “Or that I was beyond glad you dropped the class? Because I was.” He pressed another kiss to my head. “It wasn’t right to feel that way about a student. And when you weren’t a student anymore…well…” I pulled back to stare at him. He smiled at me.
“you…what?” I asked. He nodded. “Really?” Indiana nodded.
“Really.” He confirmed. I immediately cupped his face and pulled him in for a kiss. Indiana squeezed my hips and leaned into the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and took a step back. Indiana followed and I led him to my bedroom. Pulling away, I stared at him and panted.
“we don’t have to if you don’t…” I started. Indiana cut me off with another kiss. He quickly pulled his shirt over his head, breaking away only briefly to get it off. My hands fell to his chest and Indiana shivered under my touch.
“it’s been a while (Y/N). I can’t make any promises.” He warned me as I pulled away to pull off my shirt.
“I don’t want promises.” I said as I ran my hands down his chest and smiled as he tensed. “I just want you.” Smiling, Indiana pulled me close to him again.
“That I can give you.” He whispered before picking me up and putting me on the bed. I smiled at him as he tugged off my pajama pants and underwear. Leaning up to kiss me, Indiana ran his hands down my body and it was my turn to shiver. I reached out for his pants and Indiana nipped along my jawline. Pushing them down, I turned my head to kiss his cheek. He paused as I trailed kissed along his jawline.
“Last chance to back out.” I breathed out. Indiana smiled at me before kissing me deeply. Laying down between my legs, he propped himself up on his forearms. “Indiana. Please.” I whined when he resumed his kissing. Chuckling, Indiana nipped my lip as he entered me. I moaned into the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Indiana.” He hummed against my lips as he slowly started to thrust into me.
“(Y/N).” He whispered, speeding up and running his hand down my side. “Damn. It’s been too fucking long.” He kissed my cheek and buried his head in my neck as he thrust hard and fast into me. “Don’t know if I can hold on much longer.” I ran my fingers through his hair and Mohamed as he brushed a spot in me.
“keep hitting that spot and I won’t either.” I joked. Indiana pulled back and gave me a smirk. He thrust into me again and hit the same spot, over and over.
“Indiana. Indiana. Indy!” I panted. He chuckled as he pressed kisses along my throat.
“just like that. Little more sweetheart.” He whispered. Indiana thrust into me one more time before I came.
“indy!” I screamed. He chuckled before moaning in my ear.
“(Y/N). Shit. (Y/N).” He moaned as he orgasmed. we both stilled as we caught our breath. I absently ran my fingers through his hair as he slowly pulled out. Peppering kisses over my face, Indiana laid down his his head on my chest. I smiled softly at him before kissing his forehead. Indiana looked up at me with a smile. “That was nice.” He said.
“yeah. Definitely want to do that again.” I laughed. He smiled with a nod, leaning up to kiss me again. Our little bubble of happiness was broken with the pounding on my door.
“(Y/N)!” Larry yelled. Indiana and I looked at each other before we started laughing.
“guess it’s our turn to get a noise complaint.” I laughed as I got up to grab my robe. Indiana nodded with a laugh. He looked at the clock on my nightstand and started getting dressed.
“I have to go to work. But I can come back over later.” Indiana said as he followed me towards the door. “Can still give Larry a start though.” He leaned over to kiss me before slipping out through the door as I opened it.
“what’s up Larry?” I asked as I causally leaned on the frame, watching him flounder after seeing Indiana jones leave my apartment.
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heyitsspiders · 1 month
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Lucifer x Transmasc! Reader - Falling for the Fallen Angel - Chapter 2
Just You and Me
Lucifer comes over more often, but this time it's only you two in the hotel.
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Lucifer sure kept his word, he was there at least once a week. He always made sure to call Charlie in the morning and arrive later that evening to give you plenty of time to cook. Of course, that wasn’t the only reason, it was to let everyone know he’d be there so it's not a surprise. 
He’d come by and see how everything was going and chat with Charlie until dinner was ready. Then you’d seat him and he’d eat with everyone else, always making sure to give you some sort of indication that he enjoyed the food. It was nice to know the King of Hell enjoyed your cooking, and you couldn’t help your heart from fluttering every time he’d give you one of his silent compliments.
Today you were watching some show Angel recommended to you. It was another romance show that used any and every excuse to get the characters to fuck. It wasn’t your cup of tea but you wanted to watch at least a few episodes to see if it got better. Your mind kept wandering back to Lucifer. Sometimes he showed up without his overcoat, showing his pink and white gatsby vest and his white long-sleeved undershirt. He’d roll up the sleeves, showing off his dark forearms. You usually had to not look at him for too long. 
Wait.
Were you falling for Lucifer? No, no, you were just happy he liked the food. And that’s only important to you because he rules Hell. 
Yeah.
Totally. 
Charlie startled you out of your thoughts with a light touch on your shoulder.
“Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you,” She apologized with a hint of guilt present on her face.
“You’re good!” You reassure her. “Did you need something?”
“No, I just came to tell you that my dad will be around later. I told him me and Vaggie have a date tonight but he insisted on coming over anyways.”
“I’ll start preparing then!” You got up from the couch, turning off the TV. “Oh, and I hope you and Vaggie have fun.” 
Charlie smiled at you, “Okay, I’m going to get ready for tonight, good luck!” And with that she was off to her room.
As you walked you wondered why Lucifer would want to be here if Charlie wasn’t here. Wasn’t that the whole point of his visits? You shrugged it off, maybe he was helping around the hotel or doing something for Charlie. Either way, none of your business.
You entered the kitchen and got to work. Charlie had started to become more laid back with what you were to cook so you got to decide what you’d make for Lucifer. You’d had quite a hard week mentally, the realization of you being dead set in more and more with each passing day your headaches increased as you tried to remember what your life had been. You had a feeling you’d never know. You wanted to give up, no use thinking about now that you’re dead but it just wouldn’t leave your mind. 
You sighed and hoped Lucifer wouldn’t mind a simple dinner as you downed some painkillers and got to work. 
While you couldn’t remember a lot, you did regain the memory of you making yourself breakfast when you were sad or having a hard time. It was something that calmed you down and you needed that right now. You cracked some eggs, got some bacon and whipped up some dough until you had a pretty good dinner, or well, breakfast. You carefully organized the foods onto separate plates before carrying a few at a time to set on the table. You sighed contently, looking over at your work as you exited the dining room and went down the hall to the lobby.
Where was everyone?
You facepalmed. Everyone was gone. Alastor was out at an overlord meeting, Sir Pentious was out with his egg guys, Charlie and Vaggie were on the aforementioned date, and Angel Dust and Husk went to a bar. You gulped. That meant it’d just be you and-
Suddenly the doors opened and in walked the man of the hour. Lucifer smiled a toothy grin at you, “Hello!”
“Hello, Lucifer!” You replied, trying to give him a smile back but your heart was pounding in your ears.
“I heard it’s just us tonight, how exciting,” Lucifer said smoothly, as if it was nothing. “Here, have this.”
He handed you a.. Rubber duck? It had a little chef hat. 
“Take it as a thank you for all the delicious meals.”
“Oh, thank you!” You said as you looked back at him before focusing on the duck once more. You gently squeezed it and it squeaked in response. Adorable. 
You turned your focus back on Lucifer, “Come, I’ve made us dinner.” You said as you led the way to the dining room.
He followed, once you reached the door you held it open for him. You waited for him to move to his chair but instead he pulled a seat for you to sit in. 
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat, come, relax.” He said in a soothing voice. 
You didn’t typically eat when everyone else ate, you felt like it was rude. You accepted his invitation and sat down as he pushed in the chair. He sat in his normal spot, which you were now sitting beside. 
“Breakfast, huh? I think it’s a little late for that,” He joked before bringing a few pancakes to his plate followed by a few sausages. 
“I’m sorry it isn’t as grand as it normally is. I wanted to do something a little easier,” You explained sheepishly. Lacking on the job already.
“Oh? What, didn’t want to put in all the effort for little ol’ me?” He teased before taking a neat bite of his food. 
Your stomach felt like it was going to explode. “That’s not it, sir-”
He raised a hand and laughed, “I know, you’re okay. After all, it’s just the two of us. Any more food and it’d be a waste.”
You let out a sigh of relief as you took a few small portions of the dinner you prepared. Your hands were shaky as you took a bite, Lucifer’s gaze sliding over you. You swallowed hard.
“So, how has my daughter’s hotel been treating you?” Lucifer asked as he swallowed another bite.
“Good, the residents are cool and Charlie is so sweet,” You responded before eating more.
“I’d expect nothing less from my daughter,” He smiled.
You both fell into a comfortable silence, the only noise being the clinking of utensils to the plate as you two ate. Lucifer took a napkin and dabbed his mouth with it. 
“Another fantastic meal,” He said as he set his napkin down and looked at you.
Your heart could have exploded right then and there. “Thank you, Lucifer.” You mumbled quietly, scared if you talked too loudly your thoughts would run out.
He raised an eyebrow at your behavior before smiling, “Now,” he began as he stood up, pushing in his chair. “Everyone else has decided to leave the hotel, so why don’t we join them?”
You looked up at him. 
“Like, go out and… Do something?” You questioned. Was he serious?
“If you’d like!” He offered you his hand. “I’d like to put more of an effort into getting to know Charlie’s friends, and who better to start with than the one who creates the amazing meals.”
Yes, of course. Obviously. He was going to do this with everyone else. Now your heart needed to stop beating a million times a second. You took his hand and stood. Before you knew it he pulled you to him and through a portal. You blinked several times as you looked around. You weren’t in the hotel anymore, where were you?
Oh wait, you knew this place. This was the city! It’d been awhile since you’d been here, the crimson sky laid hauntingly in the sky as always. You looked at Lucifer, amusement in his eyes. 
“I don’t go out much, so I don’t really know what people do for fun,” He laughed awkwardly. “However, you can’t go wrong with buying things.”
Shopping? You pat your pockets frantically. “Shit, bring me back to the hotel, I don’t-”
Lucifer held up a hand, “Oh please, money is nothing to me. Don’t worry about it.” He leaned against his apple-topped cane, “Now, what place looks interesting to you?”
You felt guilty but looked around from where you stood. Then, it caught your eye. You pointed to it, a simple toy shop. Lucifer looked over at it before staring at you, yanking at his collar. 
“Oh-ho boy, uh, are you sure?”
You nodded, you needed more stuff for your room and you figured it’d have some interesting nick-nacks. Why was this such a weird thing? Was it because you were an adult? He seemed to be avoiding eye contact and you worried that you did something wrong but nonetheless you two made your way across the street. 
Lucifer did his best to keep his composure but as you two got closer, his facade was falling. He grabbed your arm as you pushed open the door.
“Look, uh, I’ll stay out here, just tell me how much money you need.” 
You blinked at him, “Uhm, okay? I’ll just come back out and tell you when I find something that looks neat.”
He let you go and you went inside.
You then came right back out, your face bright red.
“That is NOT what I wanted.”
Lucifer looked at you puzzled before bursting out laughing. “Oh my golly- You-” He tried to speak as he continued laughing at you. You buried your warm face in your hands, humiliation overwhelming you. 
After a while of embarrassment and Lucifer laughing at your mix-up, he finally calmed down. 
“Golly, I haven’t laughed that hard in a while,” he said with a chuckle, wiping a stray tear away from his eye. “Now, come, I can lead you to the place you were looking for.”
You awkwardly followed, your eyes never leaving the concrete side-walk. This was hell, of course it’d be a store full of sex toys. You really should have taken the name “Valentino Toys” and thought about it for more than a second. You were pretty sure Angel had mentioned his boss was Valentino, and considering what Angel Dust did for work you should have put two and two together. Either way, you followed Lucifer down a few streets before bumping into him as he stopped. 
“Ah sorry-” You mumbled as you looked over the store in front of you. 
“Here, you’ll have much better luck finding what you were looking for,” Lucifer teased as he opened the door for you. 
You walked inside and looked around, your eyes widening in awe. It was huge, several shelves stocked to the brim with figurines, stuffed animals, posters and other various small trinkets. It was like a little kid's dream.   
After at least an hour of vibrating from shelf to shelf, you finally grabbed a few things, a plush of your favorite animal and a few other things to put on your shelves. As you checked out and watched the total rise you felt intense guilt creep over you. Oh no. Did he think that you were using him? You’d have to make it up to him, you didn’t want to leech off of him. You grabbed your bags and gave Lucifer a good handful of apologies as the two of you walked out. You two continued to walk around the city, the crimson sky darkening and the lights turning on. It was strangely beautiful as the two of you walked. You both stopped at a park, resting on the park benches and falling into a comfortable silence as you watched the strange Hell fish swim in the pond. It was peaceful, which was strange considering you are literally in Hell. 
As the sky darkened further, exhaustion crept into your body. This was around the time you went to bed. You yawned, stretching. 
Lucifer looked over at you, “Time to leave?”
“Unfortunately,” you said with another yawn. You’d love to continue this hang out but you really needed to sleep. You still had to work.
He stood up and offered a hand, which you took and stood up. Once your feet were on the ground you were being pulled back to the hotel through a golden portal. You rubbed your eyes at the sudden bright lights of the interior.
“This was fun, hopefully we can do this again sometime,” he said with a smile.
You could feel the burning make its way back onto your face. You nodded, “Yeah, it was.”
“Look I’m really sorry-” You started but you were swiftly shut up by Lucifer pulling you into his embrace. 
You blinked in surprise before returning the hug, any guilt from earlier melting away in his arms. You didn’t want to let go as the scent of crisp honey apples drifted around you.
“You apologize too much, darling,” he said kindly, his smile soft as he pulled away.
You mourned the loss of his warmth as he walked away, “I’ll be seeing you soon.”
He turned to you once more, that pretty smile aimed for you as he disappeared. You walked back to your room and set down your bags before falling onto your bed, your face growing red as you recounted the day’s events. The faint scent of crisp honey apples stuck to your clothes. You breathed in the smell as you drifted to sleep, thoughts of the King of Hell dancing throughout your mind.
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zensations35 · 26 days
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Don't Cheat On Me (Haz/bin)
Yall were warned, here's another haz/bin fic. The hotel gang playing some board games. Vaggie reacts to them cheating. I played with morals and Angel being cute and Alastor being a sneaky bitch. This takes place mid season 1, cuz I wanted Pentious involved! Okay enjoy!
Husk sets the final two drinks on the table, taking care to scoot them far out of the way of the game board. Angel is propped with his elbow on his knee, chin resting on his palm as he concentrates on his next move.
“Alright,” he pinches one of the sheep tokens and moves it from the vale to his farm--which he dubbed ‘Haven’. 
“What are you gonna do with all them sheep, Angel?” Husk asks.
“Nothing.”
“You aren’t going to eat them?!” Pentious yawps.
Angel squeaks. “No!” 
Vaggie grumbles. “You’re gonna break the game. They’re currency for other shit.”
“Yeah! To be slaughtered!” Angel’s gold tooth winks in frustration.
Charlie, ever the ray of sunshine, even when talking about animal slaughter, picks up a game piece shaped like a human. “It’s to feed the meeples!” She dances it around happily.
Angel frowns. “Fuck the meeples.” He wraps his lower arms protectively around his sheep farm. “They’re my sheep. I can do whateverthefuck I want with them!”
Husk groans. “Rgh, just let Angel keep his damn sheep. We have other food sources for our population.” He flicks through his action cards, ears twitching with every shush of the card.
“Fine…” Vaggie grumbles. “You’re next, Pentious.”
Sir Pentious taps his fang with a bent claw, considering. It makes a soft tip tap tip tap. His eggbois start giving suggestions like “Trade for his sheep!” “Buy more lumber!” “Steal Vaggie’s coins!” Until soon they’re all chanting “STEAL! STEAL! STEAL! STEAL!”
Vaggie saws at her teeth, scrunching up her nose and suppressing another growl. 
Charlie turns to her and offers a supportive arm squeeze. Then she looks encouragingly at Pentious and says, “We don’t steal. It’s very wrong.” She waggles a finger. “What should we do instead?”
Sir Pentious attempts to calm his eggs down, clearing his throat. “Yes, well, ahem. Eggbois!” He slithers into a spine-erect position, being commanding as he ever can manage. “We do not steal. That would be,” he cracks a small grin as if trumpets were blaring all around them, “Against the rules!” 
Charlie claps, eyes glazed with pride.
Angel rolls his eyes and waves an upper arm, “Then, what are ya gonna do?”
Pentious hums for another long moment, tail swishing. Not surprisingly, one of the eggbois does not seem to take his words to heart. It clambors under the table and…is Vaggie seeing this? Is anyone else seeing this?? The eggboi’s hand pops up on Husk’s side of the table. Husk, who is mid drink, is too distracted to notice. The eggboi swipes several coins and scrambles back to Pentious, depositing it faithfully by his own pile. 
Nobody says a word. Nobody else but Vaggie seems to have noticed. 
Her mouth opens to warn them about the absolute betrayal taking place but instead, she’s overcome with a completely feral sensation in the core of her sinuses. 
“Ih-hih!” Instinct has her hands forming a protective shield over her face, just as her shoulders shudder. “Eip’Sshieu!” her entire body cracks forward and Charlie gasps.
“Vaggie! Are you okay?” she massages the spot on Vaggie’s arm where her girlfriend bumped the table.
“Yeah, fine,” Vaggie waves her off, shooting a daggerlike glare at the clueless eggboi. Her eye narrows at Pentious who is taking his turn. Obviously the eggboi stealing the coins counted as cheating. But did it count as Pentious himself cheating if he didn’t know about it? 
Vaggie heaves a sigh. Morals, she was learning, were fickle.
Husk has already decided what to do--two turns ago. He lays down an action card and helps himself to the public lumber market. 
All eyes flick to Alastor. His strategy has been the hardest to read. His moves don’t seem to benefit himself much, but he’s made several plays that have changed the course of the game so far. 
His red eyes glide over the cards in his clawed hand, his lips in a loose smile. He plucks a card and hands it to Angel. Angel raises the eyebrow above his dark eye and accepts the card. He looks shocked when he sees it.
“What the fuck?” he waves it at him.
Alastor just smiles and shrugs.
“What?” Vaggie swings her head left and right, looking between them both. “What did he give you?”
Angel snorts. “Wouldn’t you like to know, sweetcakes?” he shimmies his shoulders suggestively.
Vaggie clutches her cards tighter. She wishes Alastor would say something. Normally no one can get the guy to shut the fuck up, but during game night, he’s eerily silent. 
Charlie nudges her. She needs to take her turn. Vaggie peers down at her spread. Her cards are shit, she’s poor as fuck, and her meeples are isolated and starving. 
Charlie sees Vaggie’s shit pit situation and her mouth tips down, the circles of her cheeks bobbing softly. “Oh, Vaggie,” she scrapes a handful of coins together and holds them out. “Do you want some of my gold? I have enough for my turn.”
Vaggie sucks in a breath, the itch more like a stab this time, and she flattens her hand over her face. “H’SHUiew!” she presses her palm firmly to her nose and lips as her shoulders flutter in tune with her throat, “Heig’SGM!” 
What the fuck? That counted as cheating?! But Charlie was trying to help. 
Rgh! This is a fucking board game!! Not a reason to revisit moral trauma!
A faint but curious hum trickles next to her right ear, where Alastor sits. Her heart skips and she catches a hint of scrutiny behind his flippant smirk.
What is he thinking??  
“Vaggie?” Charlie’s voice pulls her from her paranoia.
“Not getting sick, are ya?” Husk grunts.
“Oh please do not infect us!” Sir Pentious drums his fingers together, “I don’t handle illness well at all!” 
“I’m fine,” Vaggie snarls, slapping a card down--something barely helpful at all--and calls it a wash.
Charlie pushes a pile of gold into the pot and buys four apples and a sheep. Angel looks dismayed at this and he’s eyeing the last six sheep in the vale. 
“Angel…” Husk’s voice is low and gravelly, like coins scraping together, “you really should think about gathering resources for your plot. You don’t even have enough coins for--”
Angel slams down a card: infinite sheep.
Vaggie’s mouth unhinges and she darts her eye at Alastor. The smug on his face says it all: that’s the card he gave Angel. What the fucks? 
Angel scoops the rest of the sheep from the vale and places them delicately in his farm. He now owns 80% of the fucking sheep in the goddamn game. 
Vaggie glares at Alastor, her hand flying in circles as she speaks, “Why did you give him that? You could have used that on Angel to steal all of his sheep!”
Angel’s hair flops into his dark eye as he gapes at them. “You could do that?” his voice breaks on the last word.
Alastor ignores them, eyes intent on organizing his meeples, apples, and coins by size and color. 
Sir Pentious chooses to sell a few things for  money--lumber mostly--but he miscounts and an argument sparks between him and Husk about how much lumber Pentious added to the pile. 
Vaggie hiccups her next breath, drops the meeple she was organizing, and spills a “Hg’KtSHieW!” into jangled fingers. She grunts, pinching her nose and sniffling. “Can’t we snf just snf start the turn over and--”
“NO!”
“NO!”
The boys both yell together, wings and hood fanning out as they both scramble to grab at the pieces of lumber they’re arguing over.
“Ai’kTChieh!” Vaggie slumps and sighs. This is getting chaotic. 
“Do you need some medicine?” Charlie asks, looking for all the world, more helpless than Vaggie herself. 
Vaggie waves her away with a stuffy sniffle, “Seriously, I’m fine.” It wouldn’t help anyway. What Vaggie needs is a break and--
Something enters her field of vision. Right under her nose, a rose colored cloth held by Alastor, of course. He smirks at her, teeth bared, glassy eyes dark and discerning. 
Vaggie snatches the handkerchief out of his hand making sure he feels the anger in her shaking fist, but it only seems to amuse him further.
Shitass.
Does he know? Like…know know?
Rgh! She snarls her noseblow as rough and messily as she possibly can into his stupid fucking hanky, then wads it up and offers it back to the Radio Demon. 
His grin doesn’t falter one centimeter. Before the cloth can penetrate his personal space, it dissolves into a pool of smoky shadow, leaving Vaggie grasping black air. 
UGH! I can’t even spite him! 
A clicking static whines from the Radio Demon and he turns back to the game. He’d better not be fucking laughing at her. 
It’s Alastor’s turn and again he chooses generosity--this time toward Husker, who just lost his turn to bad luck.
Alastor plays a sheep pass card where all of his sheep will be traded for all but one of Husk’s cards. Husk accepts, stating “my cards’re shit anyway.” 
And it’s back to Vaggie. She’s still in a Not Great situation with her farm. Her only cards are to trade lumber for sheep--which no one will go for since Angel is a fucking hoarder and pickings are slim--or to buy stuff at the market, which--
“Hih-ih!” F-fuck! Her eye rolls up, squinting through a tear as her teeth chit into a snarl. “HgtNGSH!” 
“What the fuck, Pentious!” 
“I did nothing!” the snake insists.
Angel puffs out his chest. “Oh yeah? Well I saw ya! You stole one of my sheep!”
“I did no such thing!”
“Then why do you have a sheep. You didn’t have any on your turn.” Angel points at the lone sheep in Pentious’s farm. 
“My ssspecial ability allows me to--”
“Give me that!” Angel swipes the sheep out of his farm without waiting for his explanation.
Pentious’s hood fans, his tongue flicking out, irate. “How dare--”
“Ih-Shieu!” Vaggie’s elbows stab into the knobs of her knees and she heaves a breath. 
“Hey! That’s mine!” Angel’s screech and scrambling is half-ignored at this point as Vaggie firmly tents her hands in a triangle over her mouth and nose. She’s had enough.
Husker joins the fray in an attempt to cool the brawl but the snake and spider won’t relinquish their stolen pieces.
Charlie tries to step in, explaining why this is wrong and how to apologize but she can hardly get a word in. Alastor continues to sit calmly with his smile, looking giddily around the table as if he had just been served a feast. 
Vaggie feels the pull of another tickle and she snarls. She throws herself to her feet and hollers, “Stop fucking cheating!” 
Everyone pauses, Angel’s body stretched halfway across the table, Husk holding Pentious’s arms back, Charlie’s hands clasped together in plea. They all look at Vaggie. 
Then, “He started it!” all three boys say in unison.
“These games are about following rules! Not cheating! The only ones in this whole game who haven’t cheated are Husk and Alastor! If you can’t manage to do better than the fucking Radio asshat, then…” her eye flicks to Charlie and her heart plinks in her throat. 
Charlie looks hurt. The gold of her eyes splashed like sunrise reflected off the ocean. 
Fuck. Vaggie just accused her of cheating. And she compared her morals to Alastor. Shit fuck shit fuck. And Alastor is just sitting there, kicking his feet, staring at them with his chin in his palm as if he’s watching a show.
“RGH!” 
Vaggie whirls and storms off, clattering through the double doors and slamming them behind her.
“Jeez,” Angel slumps back in his chair. “It’s just a--”
Husker cuts him off with a palm chop. “If you say it’s just a game, I’m gonna take all of your damn sheep and feed them to the snake’s eggs.”
Angel’s lips tighten and he moves protectively around his farm pen.
Charlie looks toward where Vaggie left and sighs. “I need to go after her. She’s upset.”
“Looks like you’re upset too, sweet cheeks.” Angel draws a circle around Charlie with his lower hand. 
Husk smacks him and shoos Charlie. “You do you. We’ll figure this shit out. Trust me,” he turns a scrunched snarl toward the misbehaving duo, “I got plenty of experience with cheating fools.”
Vaggie sits on a couch, arms wrapped around herself. If she had told Charlie sooner, this wouldn’t be an issue. She just…
Can’t risk losing her. Can’t risk being abandoned. Having no one…
She shudders and takes a calming breath. Pushes it out of her mind. 
No one suspects, right? There’s no proof even if they do. She’s safe. All Vaggie needs to do is--
The door creaks open and Charlie’s head appears between the wood. 
“Hey Vaggie~”
Vaggie pushes at her eye and sniffs, “Hey.” 
Charlie closes the door and carefully shuffles toward her girlfriend. “I’m so sorry for…well, all of that.”
“No, I’m sorry!” Vaggie takes her by the shoulders, “I was being stupid. I just…” she drops her hands and rubs one over her thigh, “I see the worst in people, I guess.”
Charlie’s silver lids lower and she bites her lip. “What do you mean?”
Vaggie sweeps the cup of her palm down her arm. “I…” she wants to tell her. She should tell her. Fuck fuck FUCK why is this so hard?! Charlie’s all about redemption! 
Yeah. Redemption of sinners. Not you. 
The confession dries up on Vaggie’s tongue. “I--I ruined the game.”
Charlie snorts, “You didn’t ruin anything,” she lets out a small giggle, “When I was leaving, I heard Alastor played Reverse Slaughterhouse. It kills everyone’s meeples based on how many sheep they had in their farms. So…”
Vaggie groans. “Everyone but him had sheep. Because he gave his all away.”
“Eeeeyeah.”
Vaggie has several words she could say, but she just bursts out laughing. 
Charlie’s eyebrows fly up. “What’s so funny?”
Vaggie cackles, “Alastor didn’t cheat to win. He didn’t need to.” 
Charlie smiles at her and drapes herself across her girlfriend. “You’re adorable, you know?”
Vaggie snorts. “You’re the only one allowed to say that. Ever.” 
Charlie nuzzles her and breathes cheerily, “I know.”
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Hello again my misfits. I feel like I've been neglectin' the other ships as of late. So here's one just for you ^^
The Inventor and the Explosive Expert:
It had been a week since Sir Pentious was brought into the hotel. The snake man smiled at his minions as the idiots worked on cleaning his room. "Oh, once you're done with that, I'd like to go into the city for an errand." He stated as Frank saluted.
"Yess sir boss!" The egg replied as he scurried away.
Sir Pentious usually took his blimp, but the thing has been having engine problems. He casually strolled into town since it did feel good to go for a walk every so often. He hummed casually, his head swaying a bit. "Huh?" He blinked hearing an explosion.
"Ha eat shit cock sucker!" A voice boomed as Sir Pentious started to fluff up his frills slightly. He knew the owner of that wonderful Australian accent. Cherri Bomb was seen shoving another bomb into a gunman's mouth and jumping off as it exploded the fool.
The snake demon watched the cyclops in awe. He always loved her brilliant explosive contraptions. He, however, noticed someone trying to ambush her from behind. "Missss Cherri Bomb, look out!" Sir Pentious shouted, alerting the cyclops bombshell.
"Oh, thanks for the heads up, old man!" Cherri grinned as she punched the ambusher. Soon the skirmish ended with the losers running or dead as Cherri laughed dusting herself off.
"Hey Angie did ya get those other fuckers?!" She smirked seeing Angel Dust having a blast with his guns.
"Yep, but looks like there's some more headin' our way!"
"Ah shit, we'd better split up to get those fucks disoriented. I'll meet cha back at your hotel, alright!' Cherri smirked as Angel gave a thumbs up. "C'mon old man!" She grabbed the snake demon to drag him out of the battle zone. But before she could, Sir Pentious dropped a disk like object on the ground.
"What, hey!" He blinked but followed.
"Follow the boss!" Frank ordered as the eggs scurried after the two.
Once out of danger Cherri sighed in relief. "I hate runnin' but those assholes wouldn't quit." She muttered annoyed.
"I left them something fun to deal with for you." Sir Pentious smiled as an explosion was heard. "It's a ssimple contraption but effective when ussed during chaosss." He grinned doing a playful bow.
"Not bad old fart.." Cherri chuckled but hissed softly. The cyclops growled, seeing one of those bullets had grazed her arm. "Fuck.."
Sir Pentious blinked but searched his coat and grumbled. He then smirked, stealing some cloth from an overhang. "Can I wrap your injury, Missy?" He asked as Cherri gave him a 'dafuck' look. "I know you can probably jussst heal with eassse, but I can't sstand by while a young lady iss hurt."
Cherri gave him a skeptical look. "What ever floats your boat edgelord." She shrugged but let him wrap her left arm.
The egg bois yelped as one of them was cracked. "Finally caught up to you fucking bitch!" A bull looking sinner with a shotgun growled with steam coming out of his nose.
"How dare you crusssh one of my minionsss you boob!" Sir Pentious hissed, flaring up his yellow cobra like frills. "Now take thisss!" All his eyes soon emitted a hypnotic trance, forcing the bull to stumble and groan. The snake demon soon slithered over with speed and bit the bull in the neck, injecting the sinner with venom.
"Huh.." Cherri looked amused as the bull sinner started to uncontrollably vomit with Sir Pentious stealing the shot gun.
"A simpleton like you doesn't deserve mercy." The snake demon growled and shot the bull demon sending the sinner flying.
Cherri couldn't help but whistle. "Fuckin' hell mate, didn't know you could handle a gun?" She smirked as Sir Pentious shyly rubbed his neck.
"W-well I wanted to help you... Plus he destroyed one of my many minionsss!" The snake replied being awkward.
"C'mon shit for brains, let's meet up with Angie, eh?" Cherri motioned for him to follow.
The two ran through the back alleyways as soon they didn't have to look far to spy the pink spider demon. "Oh no, Angel Dusst is cornered."
Cherri smirked evilly as five sinners started to close in on Angel. "Got another one of 'em disks?" She asked as Sir Pentious nodded handing her one. "Good cause this is gonna be fun."
With his back against a wall, Angel smirked a bit with his tommy guns out of ammo. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say this is the start of a bad porno." He cheekily sneered.
He kept his eyes on the goons so as not to alert them to the duo on the buildings behind them. "Hehe a free fuck with the famous porn star? Sounds fun." One sinner who was an ugly slug moved forward.
"You limp dicks couldn't afford my sexy ass." Angel soon brought out his extra two arms and shot the group back with his fresh guns.
"Eat shrapnel cock suckers!" Cherri laughed maniacally tossing in her bombs with one of them attached to the disk. A row of explosions wiped out the first two while the disk one caused a bigger one to pretty much turn the other three into mince meat.
Sir Pentious watched in awe seeing her using his work. "Impresssive Misss Bomb." He grinned watching Cherri jump down. "O-oh uh... I'll usse the sstairsss.."
The snake demon came down to Cherri, clapping Angel Dust on the back with a grin. "Well fuck, it seems like that hotel hasn't made ya soft yet."
"Hey I'm still down for blasting holes into some fucks head sugar tits." The spider replied retracting his third set of arms. "C'mon bet little miss princess and Vagina are getting their panties in a twist right now." He laughed amused.
Sir Pentious slithered over as his Eggs followed. "Mind if I join you?" He asked giving a friendly toothy smile.
"Eh sure." Cherri shrugged looking at Angel.
"Why the fuck not." The spider also shrugged as the unlikely trio made their way back to the Hotel.
And yes, Vaggie was incredibly pissed about it since it was on the news, and Charlie was just a cute sobbing mess to see they're ok.
(Hope you guys liked this one, it got stuck in my head plus I figured I'd give Cherrisnake a go.)
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dreamcorechild · 8 months
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Muzan: "OKAY YOU UPPERMOON BASTARDS. NEXT LESSON WILL BE ART-"
[And so his words were interrupted by upper moon 5.]
Gyokko: "FUCK YEAH!! HYO HYO. NOW THIS IS MY SHIT RIGHT HERE.."
Muzan: ".. Did I allow you to speak over me?"
Gyokko: "..... No sir."
Muzan: "And did I allow you to sprung out of your seat???"
Gyokko: "No-"
Muzan: "GOOD, SO SIT DOWN.. AND SHUT UP!!!!!!!!"
[Muzan inhaled, spitting out mucus and arrogant at Gyokko to show his humiliations.]
Akaza: "Uh.. Muzan.. Why do we need to do art.. How is that important for us?"
Muzan: "Good question. Art is a form to ease your stress and let it be known on a piece of paper.. Its a way for you all to relax and find your future by your dreams."
Kokushibo: "All except for you-"
Muzan: "DID I ASK YOU TO TALK KOKO!?!?!?!?!?!?"
Kokushibo: "Nope.. But I dont care.. Cause you barely relax your temper by ripping pages from books."
Muzan: "ITS CALLED A STRESS TOY!!!!!"
Kokushibo: "So ripping out history making story lines are prove to be your stress toy...."
Muzan: "... Do you want me to confiscate your Nichirin blade?!?!?"
Kokushibo: "heh... Looks like the egg is cracking with rage-"
Muzan: "DO YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
Kokushibo: "No sir.."
Muzan: "GOOD. NOW GET SOME PAINTBRUSHES!!! AND PAINT!!!"
Kokushibo: "Actually I was thinking of using clay to make some Bonsai pots for the Bonsai tress that I ordered-"
Muzan: "NO ONE CARES ABOUT THAT!!!!!"
Kokushibo: "So I'm not allowed to do anything I wanted to do??"
Muzan: "OF COURSE NOT!!!!"
Kokushibo: "Wow.. What a nice teacher you are Muzan-"
Muzan: "SHUT UP SPIDER EYES!!!"
Akaza: "Can we just get on to the activities instead of having you argue each other's breaths out!?!?!?"
Zohakuten: "For once. I agree."
Muzan: "Fine!! But I ain't cleaning up the messes when this period is over!! Teachers don't clean.. Their servants do-"
Kokushibo: "Since when we were your servant-"
Muzan: "KOKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Akaza: "I think its best you be quiet mister upper moon 1.. Your really grinding him with delusional and genocidal thoughts..."
Kokushibo: "I was only correcting him.. But fine.. Akaza..."
Doma: "Hey Muzan.. Can I make some sculptures with my ice work?"
Muzan: "I guess. But dont let it melt!!"
Doma: "Dont worry. You can count on me!! I wont let you down."
Kaigaku: "What about that one time during football-"
Doma: "That was an accident."
Karaku: "Doesn't look like an accident.. More like you acting off as a jackass."
Doma: "I didn't ask for your opinion Leaf Whacker."
[Muzan pulled out a large cup of coffee. He slurp on it to cooldown his head from having a migraine. He drank through the comfort of delicious tea, Dripping his blood through a test tube. Experimenting on his studies, he looked up. Seeing Doma's large wide smile from ear to ear, This made the man jump on his chair. Snapping him out of daze before grabbing Doma on the neck. Choking him with tight grips.]
Muzan: "DOMA. WHO GAVE YOU THE HONOURS TO SCARE ME LIKE THAT. YOU SON OF A BITCH NEARLY MADE ME SPILL MY COFFEE!!!!"
Doma: "S-Sorry My lord.. I only came here to tell you that I finished my ice sculpture..."
Muzan: "... Show me."
[He let go. Letting Doma stagger and gasp for air. He crawled over to a large sheet of red cloth. Pulling it off to show his amazing architecture to his worshipper... Muzan looked at it. His jaw dropped from his mouth in visible shock and horror.. Doma carved him out.. Nude.. With a cloth covering his crotch.. He was sitting in a Egyptian style position. And he had a smug like smile. Muzan looked at Doma, before moonwalking out of the art room to get something very important. Doma thought it would be a reward for all of his hard work.]
Sekido: "...What the fuck is that...."
Doma: "That. Is our lord and savior in his glamourous form!!"
Akaza: *Wheezing* "Are you out of your mind Doma!?!? You clearly pissed him off!"
Urogi: *Dying of laughter* "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I CANT BREATHE!!!!"
Sekido: *Slaps*
Urogi: "OWWWWW!!!!!"
Gyutaro: "Where did he even go?"
Daki: "Probably to get you a reward Doma."
Doma: "A REWARD!!! I KNEW HE LOVES MY ARTWORK!! TAKE THAT GYOKKO!!!!"
Gyokko: *Scoffs*
[A few minutes later, Muzan came back.. Holding a flamethrower with many gasoline fuel. Doma reacted quickly. Attempting to protect his finest masterpiece. Doma bit of more he could chew. His arm leaking with blood when he saw the flames bursting out.]
Doma: "WAIT MUZAN. WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS!!!! YOU DONT HAVE TO USE VIOLENCE AS YOUR PRIMARY OPTION!!!!"
Muzan: "Get out of the way Doma, dont make me burn your ass to!!!"
Doma: "BUT MUZAN!!! MY ART DOESNT HAVE TO OFFEND YOU!!"
Muzan: "YOU LITERALLY SCULPTURED ME AS A NAKED MAN!!!!"
Doma: "SO??? MICHELANGELO DID IT WITH DAVID. WHY CANT I?!!?!?!?"
Muzan: "BECAUSE DAVID ISNT AN ACTUAL PERSON YOU DUMBASS!!"
Doma: "yes he is! he's biblical!"
Muzan: "I wouldn't know that... Whatever.. Move. Now. Or. DIE."
Doma: "I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN HAVING MY ART BE DESTROYED."
[Muzan glared at the Hantengu brothers. They knew what he was saying without speaking. They grabbed and restrained Doma as he ignited the flamethrower in a long range inferno. Doma was force to watch all of his hard work be put down the drain. The remnants of his prize winning nomination was now evaporated..]
Doma: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. MY MASTERPEICE!!!!!" *Whines mix with whimpering*
Sekido: "Oh stop crying like a baby! It was terrible anyway!!"
Doma: "You dont know how it feels to loose something important in their lives!!!"
Gyokko: "Well.. People like the Hashiras broke My artworks all the time .. But I dont act out as much as you do."
Doma: "......."
Nakime: "Art class. Is finish... Lunch time is our priority Sir."
Muzan: "Thank you Nakime.. You heard her! Cafeteria, now!!!"
Aizetsu: "Okay.. But I'm not sitting next to them!"
[He shakenly pointed his finger at Gyutaro and Daki which they flip the bird at him.]
Karaku: "You dont have to Bro.. Cause we wont let them go anywhere near you."
Urogi: "Sqwark sqwark!"
Muzan: "Yeah yeah. brotherly love right here!! BLEH!!! DISGUSTING. REVOLTING. WHO NEEDS LOVE. I DONT. LOVE SUCKS!"
Kokushibo and Akaza: "You better take those words back....."
Doma: "Meh. I have many lovers right here!"
Akaza: "Who? Your reflection."
Doma: "Yes. ;w;"
Kaigaku: "Can we just get going. My stomach is calling for me!"
Kokushibo: "Next time.. Let me be the teacher."
Muzan: "No way! You'll make a terrible teacher!"
Kokushibo: "You dont know what I can do Muzan Jackson-"
PUNCH!!!!!!!!
Daki: "Man. This guy is willingly fighting for control and power over us.. Huh."
Gyutaro: "Believe me when I see it Sis.."
Kokushibo: "He is unafraid to accept that he has problems..."
Muzan: "I heard that!!!"
53 notes · View notes
Text
SCREAMS
WELCOME BACK
I’VE HAD A WEEEK OF THINKING ABOTU EP 4 NONSTOP AND THE ONLY REASON I’M NOT POSTING ART IS BECAUSE I’M PARANOID ABOUT PEOPLE UNTHINKINGLY SLAPPING SPOILERS IN THE TAGS (its happened before) BUT DADSY HAS MY ENTIRE SOUL ANYWAY
ITS EP 5 TIME AND HECK HECK
MONKIE KID SEASON 4 EPISODE FIVE WE HALFWAY THROUGH BOOOOIIIIIIS
BUCKLE UP I AM NORMAL ALREADY FOLKS
actually to be honest I’ve been pretty chillin until I doodled Pigsy and Mk and now I’m feeling feral THIS SHOW REALLY IS SO GOOD FOR MY BRAIN YELLSSS
OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO COURT OF THE YELLOW ROBED DEMON HECK SOUNDS FUN LETS BOOGIE
continues to be a banger theme song that i will listen to all the way through every time it plays thank you very much
. . .
i need a moment
lays down
Pigsy absolute beloved ;-;
ALSO I’M KINDA WHEEZING AT THE BLUE ISN’T REALLY MY COLOUR
HECK I DIDNT’ APPRECCIATE EP 4 ENOUGH SO YOU BEST BELIEVE I’MA BE CHERISHIGN THE CRAP OUTTA EPISODE FIVE
I’M JUST SO HAPPY PLS BGSL;DKFMSDF
Pigsy washing his clothes in the river, Mk doodling i adore I’m so much and MEI BELOVED BALANCING SWORD ON HER NOSE I’M
THE VIBES ARE SO GOOD I WILL CRY
i had to rewind because i just sat here watching and just ;-; SUCH GOOD VIBES MAN |;A;/
ALSO HECK DIOLOGUE
HECKINGDSFLKMSD
PIGSY CALLING OTHER PIGSY A MONSTER
HMHMHM JOTTING THAT DOWN UR HONOUR
NGL BUT THAT VALIDATES MY OWN LITTLE SELF-INDULGENT FIC I WROTE A WHILE BACK OF TIME TRAVEL AND HIM DISLIKING PAST HIM SORRY I’M JUST GRRGRRRAWRRR BITES /POS
IS PIGSY HAVING TROUBLE ACCEPTING THAT WAS A PAST LIFE?
HECK I’M BITESBITESBITES
THE LAST EP KINDA FELT CONFUSING WHERE TANGS FELT VERY THUROUGH IN WHAT THE BIGGEST REGRET THING WAS BUT
AFTER LITERALLY JUST THAT LINE I’M LIKE OH SO HIS GREATEST REGRET WAS JUST BEING WHO HE WAS HUH FR
I’M LIKE THIRTY SECONDS IN AND ALREADY NORMALGBS;LDFKMA
Tang with the name correction ;-;
PIGSYGBSDFLMWE
DON’T GO COMPARING ME TO THAT DEMON
I’M JUST PLAIN OL PIGSY
|;A;/
I’M FINE IGNORE ME
Pigsy ur so valid for wanting layers on hHNV;LKSMFSD But my good sir no need to apologize for being a hunk smhBG;LSKDFM;WOEF
Mei
Mei absolute beloved
a
s SCREAMS
DRAGON TIME
WE GONNA SEE HIIIMMMMMMM
considering i had so much brainrot about Wukong and Ao Lie brother moments after season 3 if we see him and we get any of his care for his bro i will be emotionally destroyed /pos LIKE I BEEN THINKING ABOUT THEM SM I TELL YOU AAAAAAAA
Mei: oh he must’ve been awesome
you’re right mei he was
just didn’t get much… screen time. book time? time BG;KSADFKMSDF
I WONDER HOW THEY’LL CHRACTERIZE HIM
HECK
AAAAAAA
SO MANY OPTIONS
i am very normal if we see him i’ll cry
Mei’s got some seriously good balance now
MY ANCENSTORGSLDFKMAGNMAWE
.
Okay i wanna laugh over Mei’s I THOUGHT MONKEY KIGN WIAS YOUR DAD! HE’S NOT MY DAD!!!!
I WAS GONNA LAUGH BUT U H
THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS HAS BEEN MENTIONED
MK IS LITERALLY DRAWING A STONE EGG
THE PEBBLE CRACKING IN HIS FLASHBACK
BUDDIES OF MINE SUDDENLY ON THE MK AND WUKONG SIBLING TRAIN
head in hands
so this confirms the theory that smacked me in the face last week this is fine
Mk fr probably a pebble from swk’s rock or something i don’t know TOO MANY FINGERS POINTING IN TAT DIRECTION I DONT’ KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT FEEL FREE TO PROVE ME WRONG UNIVERSE I WOULD GLADLY ACCEPT IT
AM I AFRAID TO LEARN ABOUT MK’S BACKSTORY NOW?
YEAH A LITTLE BIT
EVERYHTING IS FINE
TIS IS FINE
A
AH
PLS
SCREAMS
HE SAID IT
SHAKES YOU
GUYS HE SAID IT I’MGNSDFLK;MASDF
THE POINT
AND
PIGSY’S MY DAD
PIGSY SWEATINGBDL;KMASD
PLEASENG;LKSAMF
UR HONOUR
UR HONOUR PLEASE
THIS IS MY SEASON
THIS IS MY SEASON
HECKING
GETTING EVERYTHING I COULD EVER WANT SHUT UUUUPPPPBGS;DFKLMAW;EOIMFE
AAAAAAAAAAAAA
HIS BLEP AND CONTINUES COLOURING
Y’ALL MK MY BELOVED I ADORE THIS DUDE SM
PIGSY BLINDSIDED BY BEING CALLED DAD SO BLATANTLY I’M ON THE FLOOR
MK REALLY JUST
LETS CUT THE CRAP THAT’S MY DAD EVERUYBODY ELSE CAN GO I’MGBSD;FKMASDF
Guys I think i found my favourite episode
no lie this is
everything to me rn
PLEASE
A CONSPIRICY BOARDBG;SLKDMFWE
TANG’S DOODLES
SANDY STILL OFF SCREENGBSD;FKM;WOEF
CAN MEI BECOME A HORSENGKLMFD
GOOD QUESTION ACTUALLY
HECK HECK I FEEL LIKE THIS IS MOVING TO FAST I WANT TO GO BACK AND REWATCH THE WHOLE MONKEY KINGS NOT MY DAD PIGSYS MY DAD UH KID I’M NOT TECNICALLY-
HEKCKMGNDSFMSD
YEAH
I CAN’T BELIEVE
THEY’RE THEORIZING ON SCREEN
ABOTU WHETHER OR NOT MK’S RELATED TO MONKEY KING
I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS REAL I FEEL LIKE I’M SCROLLING THORUGH THE FANDOM TAGBGBSDL;KFMSDF
I WILL CRY
HECK THIS IS SO FUNNY SEEING IT ALL SLAPPED OUT LIKE THAT I’VE LITERALLY THOUGHT THAT ALL IN THAT ORDER WE’VE MADE SO MANY THEORIES LIKE THIS I’M WHEEZINGNSDFL;KMSDF
BELOVED MONKEY KING
REAL SWK CONFIRMED
I’M GONNA SCREAM
THEY LEGIT DOING THIS??
FR???
I CAN’T BELEIVE THISGBSD;FKLMOEWF
SO
MK
RELATED TO MONKEY KING SOMEHOW CONFIRMED IG
ALL THAT
PLS
HE’S AT LEAST A STONE MONKEY
I DON’T KNOW HOW THAT WOULD WORK I LIKE MONKEY KING BEING ONE OF A KIND AND ALL THAT NOT SURE ABOUT THAT APPROACH BUT HECK IT WE BALL IG
ALSO PLEASELMGSAOFE
MK JUST LIKE NOOOO NONONONONOOO NO THANK YOU THAT’S CRAAAAZY
ah yess because he’s normally sooooo forthcoming with information
HELPGSDLKF
YEAH
SHE GOT A POINT LAD
SHE DO BE GOT A POINT
poor mk not looking very stoked at this possibility
CURIOUS YOU’D THINK HE’D BE ECSTATIC BUT IG TRUAMA DOES A LOT BGSDL;FKMS
MK COMUNICATING LEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WELL WHEN WE FIND HIM WE CAN ASK HIM! :D
PLS I JUST LOV EHIM A LOT GUYS
PIGSYGBSD;LKFMWE
PIGSY YOU’VE BEEN HERE FIVE SECONDS WHY ARE YOU ANNOYEDNLGKMMFEEF
I’m telling you now! :D
PLS IT TAKES A SECOND TO FIGURE THESE THINGS OUT
H
HECK
SCREAMS
HECK WAIT
I’M NOT READY
THIS IS SO EARLY IN THE EPISODE WDYM
USUALLY THEY WAIT TILL CLSOER TO THE END TO LULL YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY
WE’RE ONLY TWO MINUTES IN
HELP WAITBG;LSDKMF
also welp ig mk really is stone monkey HOW DOES THAT WORK I DON’T KNOW I’M IN PIECES GO BACKGNS;LKFMWE
i DON’T KNOW IF THAT’S MONKEY KINGS ROCK MK I THINK IT’S YOURS
ALSO UM WHAT THE HECKNVG;LKSDMFBGN;AKFMA;WOEF
MK VERY EAGER TO HAVE MONKEY KING EXPLAIN TO EVERYONE HE’S DEFINITELY NOT HIS DADGBSDF;LKM;SDF
th
heck
okay
so
so
soooo
that sounded
less like monkey kings voice there
and more like
ahem Mk’s
SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
SCREAMS AND SHAKES YOU ALL
I SWEAR IF HE’S A CLONE
OR HECKING
SOMETHING ID ONT’ KNOW
HE HECKING BETTER NOT BE DEAD
IT BETTER NOT BE MONKEY KING ISNT’ ACTUALLY MONKEY KING AND MK’S HIS REINCARNATION AND MONKEY KING IS ACTUALLY JUST A CLONE LEFT BEHIND TO COACH HIS NEXT LIFE THAT STUPID THING I MADE UP I SWEAR I WILL BE CRUSHED PLEASE DONT’ BE THATBG;SDLKFMAWOE I MADE THAT UP FOR ANGST PURPOSES NOT FOR IT TO BE A HTEORY FOR CANON
i am full of fear
HECK THOSE ARE GIANT EYES
SCROLL CURSE
UP
OH NO THEY LOST THE CHEAT SHEET
CHEAT SHEET WAIT THAT’S SO FUNNYGHSBDFLK;MWEF
OH HECK
HECKK
ECK HECK JGSDJLFSJD
MEI
WATCH IT
OH SHE’S FAST NOW
OH RIP
WELP
I DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING
SO WE’RE GONNA GET A MEI ARC IN THIS ONE AGAIN HUH
BREAK THE SWORD DISSAPOINTED FAMILY OR SOMETHIGN GOTTA RE-PROVE HERSELF OR SOMETHIGN HECKINGNFDL;KMWE
THAT’S SUCH PRETTY ANIMATION THO HECK EHCK
WE’RE ONLY 2:50 IN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS SCREAMS
.
THEY BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN ALL BUBBLED TO DIFFERENT PLACES I SWEAR
oh no yup separated
I’M SO SORRY MEI ILY
OH RIP
WELP
YUP EVERYBODY SEPERATED
AWESOME
.
HELPGML;SDFM
CONGRATS TANG LOOOKS ILKE YOU’RE IN THE KINGDOM OF WOMEN
GL WITH THAT
WIAT HELPGNSAOWE
HE FR JUST SCREAMS AND BUBBLES AWAY
HELPGMSLDF
I WAS EXPECTING HIM TO BE THERE LONGER HELPGNSDLFKMSDF
peak comedy there well done lets scream and run away from that chapter so true bG;LKAWEMFAEWFNAWFE
.
Mei.
Mei you
Mei you literally have the fire of Samadhi
you have the Samadhi fire
you don’t need a swordnGL;KMAWFE
OKAY THO MEI EP OR SOEMTHING IG
SHE’S GONNA GO ON A JOURNY OF SELF-DISCOVERY IG
ALSO WHERE THE HECK DID MK GO
WE SAW EVERYBODY ELSE
WER’ES MY BOOOIIIII
OH I HATE HIM
IMMEMDEATLEY
WHO’S THIS CLOWN
FIESTY
EAT MY FIST
WHY IS HE
TALKINGNSDFL;KMWE
KILL  HIM
SUS OLD MAN
OH RIGHT YEAH YOU’RE THIS GUY
OH HE’S A VIBE ACTUALLY
LONG HAIR VIBIN
.
YOU BETTER NOT HTINK MEI IS YOU’RE HEKCING WHATEVER
OR MAYBE YOU WANNA CONSUME HER
OKAY YEAH
FUN
I’LL BE SPICY ALRIGHT
OHH
OKAY CONCERN
BURN HIM ALIVE
COME ON W
oh
not gonna
eat her right away oka
ITS HIM
ITS HIM
ITS HIM HITSBSFBGANFABF;IOAWMEFAWMGFA;LFMAWOIEMFAF
SCREAMS
SCREAMS
ITS HIM
TIS HIM
SHAKES YOU SHAKES YOU ITS HIM
I KNOW IT IS
ITS HIM I TS HIM TBNSLKMGNEEM
ITS HIM
GREEN
GREEN
ITS HIM
SCREAMS IT HE
ITS HIM ITS MY MAAAN
ITS HE
SCREAMS
ITS AO LIE
SHUT I’M UP GONNA CRY ITS HIM RIGHT NOW HE
I’M HAVING A MOMENT HERE GUYS GIVE ME A SECOND I’M GONNA CRY
OH HE’S SO SCRUNGLY
OH HE’S SO
YES
OH THE LONG SLEEVES EXCUSE ME HE’S SO DELIGHTFUL
I IMMEDEATELY ADORE HIM
I am not normal
HE’S BEAUTIFUL
HIS LITTLE HEADTILT
I WILL SOB
HELPGMSDLFKMSDF
TANG JUST ZOOMIN
NOP NOPE NOPE NOPE
THE NEZHA MOMENT
THIS IS ACTUALLY SO MUCH FUN
HECK AO LIE IS SO SCRUNGGLY I WOULD DIE FOR HIM YA’LL
HE’S DRAWN SO NICE
HES’ BEAUTIFUL
MEI GETS TO HANG OUT WITH HER ANCESTOR
SHE’S EITHER GONNA BE ANNOYED BY HIM OR VIBE AND I’M GONNA CRY EITHER WAY
OH NOPPES OUT TANG ET MOVING
YUP NOPE
THAT’S THE WORNG DOOR VERY MUCH
OH HE’S LAUGHIGN AT HER
WHATS SO FUNNY GUY
I LOVE
I LOVE HIM
SISTER
PLS
I ADORE HIM
YOU DONT’ UNDERSTAND I’M IN LOVE WITH HIS DESIGN THE VOICE ACTOR IS SO GOOD
THE :3 FACE THEY’RE GIIVNG HIM
i am actually going to cry YOU GUSY HE’S SO SCRUNGLY
PLEASE
PLEASE HE’S EVERYHTING TO ME
I WANT TO GIVE HIM SNACKS
THE TRIP
PLEASE
HE’S JUST A GOOFY LITTLE GUY
truly this is the youngest sib during the journey truly tis him
i love how i’m just assuming this is Ao Lie when i actually have no proof its just the vibes via the story and the fact he’s beautiful and green and absolutely delightful I WOULD DIE FOR HIM YOU DON’T UNDERSTANDNGLSDMAGNWO;EFM
oh man we’re only halfway through this is gonna be a long post hG;KLSDFJSD
THIS GUY
YUP MILDLY ANNOYED
I LOVE HIM
OH
OH BUDDY NO
BUD
BELOVED
I’M ABOUT TO CRY
BRUH REALLY
JUST VIBIN
WAITING FOR HIS PWOERS TO BE SNATCHED
AND MEI JUST OUTRAGED BY THAT
YEAH
I’M
HECK
HECK GUYS THAT’S HER ANCESTOR I’M GOING TO BURST INTO TEARS THIS IS A THREAT
INACTION IS CARELESS
IN
INTERSTING
MADAM
MEI NOT ALL OF THAT IS CORRECT
OH LETS GO I HOPE THIS IS A BOTH LEARN SOMETHING FROM EACH OTHER ARC I WILL CRY
MEI HECKA PASSIONATE ABOUT HER FRIENDS
HELPGMSDFLMADF
DO NOT SENSE
PLEASE
PLEASE HANG ON THIS IS MOVING SO FAST
THEY WENT FROM LIKE
HI HI
*INTENSE PHYSCOLOGICAL DISCUSSION*
THEY JUST MET PLEASENG;LKMSDFE
IS IT GONNA BE LIKE
GET OUT AND THEN SURPRISE! I’M AO LIE!
ANYWAY IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU BYEEEE
PLS
A SWORD IS POWERLESS WITHOUT THE HAND THAT WEILDS IT
I ADORED IT
MY DUDE WHO IS PROBABLY AO LIE no its’ definitely Ao Lie AO LIE BELOVED I LOVED IT ITS A GREAT BIT OF WISDOM
THEIR LITTLE BANTER IS SO FUNNY PLEASE
MEI’S READY TO BITE HIM HE’S JUST SILLY GOOFY MAN
THEY BOTH GOT GOOD POINTS
man family dinner must be fun if his sister’s anything like Mei bGALK;SMDFAOWEF MAN I LOVE THEM
TANG REALLY GOING THROUGH IT
M
MO??????
MO??????
MO IS THAT YOU???
HECK???
WHERE’D YOU COME FROM???
WHY AREN’T YOU WITH SANDY??
i mean sandy’s probably not sandy rn but MO????
OH HECK
HELLO
AH
LOUDLY
DECLARING THAT HUH
WHATS GOING ON OVER THERE
Y’know hang on before we listen to Wukong’s bros trash talk him i wanna think about the fact that Wukong and Ao Lie probably get along great because they’re so alike
they’re just silly goofy Ao Lie probably reminds Wukong of himself back when he was just goofing off pls
OH??
OH MACAQUE’S THERE LISTENIGN TO THEM TRASH TALK HIS BELOVED FRIEND?? YEAH?? OH I’M INVESTED LETS FREAKING GO
unpredictable sure is a word for WukongnGL;KMEAFWE
CHARERISTICALLY QUIET PLSNG;LSDKMF
oh wow hey
New VA nailing it actually
deeper sounding
more gruff hang on i need a sec
lays down
heck
okay
okay we’re good
lets see if Azure’s vibes continue to be rancid or he says something to bring it back
also my goodness what a good thing to slap in there, Monkey king gone for years at a time sure does make it sketchy i’m biting this
OH HE’S IN THE BIG OL KING SEAT UH
TANG RECIGNIZING HIM FROM THE DOODLE
PLS THAT’S SO SILLY /POS
NO YEAH ME TOO DUDE
HE’S HECKA SUS
HIS VIBES CONTINUE TO BE RANCID
also heck i’m curious as to what they’re gonna do with this
like if Mac goes along with those three and then it’s actually the other way around not Wukong betraying them but them betraying him that’d be WILD considering we’re all so sure its something Wukong did but heck maybe Azure really does do something heck heck
OKAY BACK TO THE FAMBLY
and the excellently designed dude i immediately hated
he and Ao Lie are on opposite sides of the scale for me pleasemKLGASDF Cool design I IMMEDEATELY HATE HIM and COOL DESIGN I ADORE HIM
Whats up greasy ole face weirdo
oh
OH BELOVED
BEAUTY FIRST
DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT
DID HE JUST SAY BEAUTY FIRST OR AM I JUST IN LOVE WITH THE DESIGNGNSDLFKMABGOWEMF
I’M GONNA ASSUEM THAT’S WHAT HE SAID AND CRY OVER THE FACT AO LIE IS PRETTY WE BEEN KNEW
OH MAN MEI’S GREAT
YEAAAHHHHH
SCREAMS
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
is the the DANG DRAGON MOMENT U SEEM MORE FAMILAR ARE WE RELATED MOMENT OR GNSLDK;MFAOWEIM
AAAA
SEH’S SO GOOD I LOVE HER A LOT
GET EM MEI
OH
AYO
MADE HERSELF A SWORD
LETS FREAKING GOOOOOOOOOOO
SHE’S SO GOOD
I LOVE HER
WHITE HORSE DRAGON
HEAR THAT AO LIE??
HEAR THAT???
Its okay i’m fine i’m just losing it
GET EM GURRRLL
SHE’S SO
FREAKING POWERFUL
OH WOW THE DRAMATIC
HAIR SWOOSHY
I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS THE RIGHT DAY TO BE CARELESS
OH
OH FREAKING
HECK
WOW
HE’S
OH WOW
AW
I LOVE
HIM
I LOVE IM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM
ITS YOU
AO LIE LIKE EH??
VA GO BRRR
I KNEW YOU WERE COOL
OH REALLY YOU THINK SO? :D
HE’S SO SCRUNGGLY
OH THE COOLEST
PLEASE
I WANT MORE OF HIM
I WANT MORE OF HIM SO BADLY
I BEG OF YOU
HE IS EVEYRTING TO ME I GOT CHILLS
HECK
HECK
OH
OH
OH MAN
MAN
AMV TIME HERE I COME THIS SEASON IS SO FREAKING GOOD I’M LOSING IT
I’M GONNA MAKE SO MANY AMVS I SSWEAR
I’M GONNA WATCH THIS EP ON LOOP
AO LIE IS EVERYTHING
I WANT HIM BACK
PLEASE
AAAAAAAAAA
|;A;/
SCREEAAAMMSSS
OKAY
OKAY
MK
OH MY BOY  ARE YOU ALRIGHT?
HECK HE WAS STRAIGHT UP KNOCKED OUT UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE
GO BACK WHERE’S PIGSY HECK HECK HECK
I WANT MORE DADSY CONTENT WAAAAIT
OHBOY
WHERE ARE THEY
W
OH PUTI
OH
OH
OH
OH ARE WE
WHERE
HECK
HANG ON
SHOOT
HE IS NOT REPLACING SWK IN THIS
I SWEAR
I WILL LOSE MY GOSH DANG MIND IF THEY DO THAT
SWK IS TOO IMPORTANT TO ME DON’T DO THIS TO ME
HECK HECK HECK HECK HECK
SCREAMS
OKAY
OKAY SO MK IS IN
MONKEY KINGS PLACE
HECK
SO CONFIMRED MK STONE MONKEY AT LEAST, LITERLALY SWK’S SON OR SIBLING AT MOST OR LITERALLY SWK, AO LIE IS MY MOST FAVOURITE EVER I WANT HIM AND SWK BEING GOOFY TOGETHER RIGHT FREAKING NOW, ZHU BAJIE’S GREATEST REGRET MIGHT JSUT BE HIM BEING HISMELF, LBD LOOKED RIGHT AT TANG, MEI CAN MAKE HER OWN NEW SWORD NOW, MK MIGHT BE REPLACING MONKEY KING, AZURE’S VIBES CONTINUE TO BE RANCID, THE NEW VA FOR MAC IS DOING A REALLY GOOD JOB OF SOUNDING CLOSE THE TO THE OG (nothing but appreciation for this guy thank you big shoes to fill) AND THEY’RE ALL SEPERATED, TANG FOUND MEI THO, AO LIE WAS READY TO GIVE UP HIS OWN POWERS, THEY CLASHED BOTH HAD GOOD POINTS, TANG BOOKED IT OUT OF THE KINGDOM OF WOMEN, MK DIDN’T KEEP HIS FRIENDS IN THE DARK ABOTU HIS VISIONS FOR LONGER THAN LIKE TWO EPISODES AND IS COMMUNCIATING, SEEMS TO HAVE A PROBLEM THINKING ABOUT SWK AS HIS DAD, PIGSY GOT CALLED DAD PIGSY’S MY DAD, AH HECK HECK THIS EPISODE HAD SO FREAKING MUCH THEY FOUND MO, HOLDS HIM GETNLY, MACAQUEEEEEE AAAAAAAAA I LOVE ALL THESE GUYS SO MUCH
SHUT UP I THINK THIS IS MY FAVOURITE EPISODE NOBODY TOUCH ME I GOT EVERYTHING BUT WUKONG AND I’M ON A HIGH
KNOX OUT I GOTTA GO RUN INTO SOME SNOW
60 notes · View notes
selineram3421 · 1 year
Note
Ooooh! HC 25 with besties Alastor and Reader please?
Yay for the besties!
HC 25 : "Bite down on this."
Lol what?
The Taste of Leather
Platonic: Alastor X Reader Oneshot
Warning! ⚠
⚠ explosives, killing of Egg-men, cussing, descriptive injuries, stitches, threats ⚠
~
You know when your friends do something that's obviously dumb and dangerous, but you go anyways just to keep an eye on them?
Yeah, that's what you were doing right now in a workshop.
Cherri was currently in the process of strapping a bomb to one of Sir Pentious newest inventions, Angel was helping by setting up more bombs.
The job you had was lookout.
You got dragged into this mess just for being nearby Angel when he got a text from her.
"Got all of them set up?", the one eyed demon asks.
"You bet'cha babe!", Angel says, dusting his hands off. "When is this thing gonna go off anyway?"
"Five minutes.", Cherri answers.
Five-
"Five minutes!?", you ask, looking back at the two. "That's barely enough time to leave without getting caught!"
And just as you say that, an Egg henchman spots you and pushes a red button.
"Well fuck."
An alarm goes off and red lights flash. Cherri sets the timer, running up and kicking the Egg-man over the railing.
Crack!
"Let's go!", she smiles and starts running.
You and Angel follow, killing of the Egg-men with guns and other weapons.
"We don't have time for this!", you growl, hitting an Egg-man with a bat, and punching another that was running up to you.
"I mean, we could jump out one of the windows.", the spider demon comments.
"And break an arm? No thank you.", you say, shoving an Egg into the wall. "Ew, I'm covered in guts.", you look down at your hands.
Finally the exit door is in view and you're the last one to run out of the building. The five minutes are up, the workshop explodes.
"Ah!", you shout as you're blown away by the blast, hitting your leg against a metal pole.
The sound it makes is concerning. Like a snap and a crunch.
"FUCKING SHIT!", you cry out on the ground.
"Oh fuck!", Angel calls out your name and runs over to you. He cringes as he takes a closer look at your leg. "That ain't good."
You groan and look over to see the damage.
Bone pokes through your skin, revealing your torn up muscles and the other half of the bone. Oh, and tons of blood.
"That's a lot-", your eyes roll back and you pass out.
.
Alastor was reading the news paper, taking a sip of his coffee when Angel burst through the door of his radio tower.
"Smiles! Need a little help!", the fluffy demon shouts.
"What in the blazes!? Angel!", Alastor had spilled his coffee onto the paper. "₩Ⱨ₳₮!?", he turns to look at the demon with radio dials for eyes.
He stops soon after once seeing your passed out form. They quickly set you on the couch and Alastor gathers some tools to help with fixing your leg.
You wake up screaming, feeling your broken leg being pulled.
"Bite down on this.", Alastor puts a belt in your mouth to bite on.
You do so and your shouts of pain are muffled a bit. Eyes tearing up from the burning and stabbing feeling in your leg.
"Almost done hun.", Angel says holding one of your hands.
When that part is done, you feel numb as the gash on your leg is stitched up. Belt out of your mouth but there's still the lingering taste of leather. Tear stains on your face as you sniffle.
"You fucking asshole.", you mumble. "I'm kicking you in the balls once my leg is all healed."
"Haha..", Angel laughs, grimacing as your hold crushes his hand.
Alastor grins, wrapping your leg up with gauze, prepping to make a cast. "I'd like to see that."
Your cast is complete!
Angel gets a marker, popping off the cap. "I'm gonna draw a dick!"
You quickly toss a pillow to his face. "Fuck off, Alastor gets to sign first."
Once getting the marker, Alastor signs his name and writes some song lyrics. Then Angel gets the marker.
"No dicks, not unless you want yours removed.", you threaten.
"Fine.", the spider huffs and just writes his name with a heart at the end.
The porn star leaves after you've decided to stay at the radio tower.
"So!", Alastor says with a clap of his hands. "Care to tell me how this happened?"
"Ugh..", you groan and flop your head back onto a pillow. "Angel dragged me to set up some bombs with Cherri. My leg hit a pole and-", you gesture to your leg in the cast. "..well..this was the outcome."
He hums and picks up his empty mug.
"Say, why don't I make us some soup? It does sound appetizing.", he says and the news paper on the table disappears with a snap of his fingers.
"Mmmm...soup.", you hum in agreement. "With meat, veggies. And some bread on the side.", you list off.
Alastor covers you with a blanket. "I'll get you some painkillers and water before I make it. Rest now."
This was one of the pros of being best friends with the Radio Demon.
He makes good soup.
Good soup.
.
.
.
.
Later.
"I can put a fast healing spell, so you can surprise Angel.", Alastor smiles like a menace.
"Hell yeah.", you cheer.
~
If you couldn't tell, I want soup.
~Seline, the person.
Prompt-list: ✨here✨
ML for Alastor🎙
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syaal · 4 months
Text
A sort of medieval AU(in Earth but with dragons like a few centuries before the series) where knights generally fight scruffles for their liege/try to kill dragons/go to crusades
And Sir William Laurence, freshly returned from a (failed) crusade, finds a dragon egg in the middle of the road
He doesn't have much experience in this area but witnessed 'heathens' utilising dragons, and he knows he's supposed to kill them anyway
So he goes upon the egg, but hesitates for a moment⋯⋯.
And suddenly it starts to crack.
Transfixed, he watches as slimy limbs break out of the shell, and when large sapphire eyes blink towards him, he's finished(and doesn't know it yet)
Cue shenanigans where
A. Laurence tries to hide Temeraire multiple times, with varying degrees of success
B. Casual disobedience of the law, Laurence being constantly tested and Temeraire having a great time
C. They go to Scotland, after they learn that similarly tamed dragons exist(Lily's formation except their breeds are a bit different)
This just came to my head, and while I don't think I'm going to expand upon this I just want to see Laurence in shining armour with Temeraire
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Text
Breaking down the comics: Dreams and knowing oneself (Issue 22)
Moon Knight, Issue 22: The Dream Demon / Moon Over Alamein
Another double feature guys!**
Also LOOK AT THIS COVER. They've dug this cover up SO many times because it's just that amazing! LOOK AT IT. 
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Bill Sienkiewicz ate his wheaties that day. 
….Why does Steven have a bent club with nails in it? Steven… Sir… 
Alright. Dream demon Morpheus is back. 
Moon Knight had his regular villains back in the day. Morpheus was one of them. A man that can affect the mind and cause nightmares. 
An interesting villain to a hero that comes with his own traumas, nightmares, and mental health problems. 
We open to see a man having a bad dream. 
"Unlike the beneficial effects of normal dreaming, the shroud of pavor nocturnus holds no soothing psychic balm. Rather, night terrors are profoundly disturbing to the slumbering psyche. Indeed, clinical sleep research has shown the phenomenon to be completely unrelated to ordinary dreaming, and thus the antithesis of subconscious healing." 
That's a long way to say that not getting enough sleep or dreaming normally can mess with you and cause even the most mentally stable to crack. 
It depicts a man who is in the throws of a night terror. In fact, it tells us that this man is Peter Alraune! 
We met him before. 
The narration comes on to talk about how night terrors are typical for children of a certain age and that they are characterized by abrupt awakenings and little recollection of the dream-like experience. 
But Peter remembers his nightmare. "He's after me...Coming to get me... He's after me. Morpheus is after my very soul!"
Meanwhile, in New York, we see a taxi cab cruising the streets. "Aimlessly without a fare, yet ignoring all potential riders." 
Jake is restless, getting a strange feeling that he needs to check on Morpheus. Oddly specific feeling. 
So he dons the Moon Knight cowl and heads up to the research facility where Morpheus is being kept and checks in on him. 
Morpheus is sound asleep, but then two janitors pop in to mop the place. 
The older Janitor explains who Morpheus is to the younger janitor. How Alraune gave him experimental drugs that left Morpheus mutated and unable to sleep or dream. 
Turns out that the research facility dopes Morpheus up each night to help him release his bent up dream energy to keep it from going off the walls again. 
However, according to the expose janitor, Morpheus is getting resistant to the drugs so they have started using something new to help him dream. 
Moon Knight figures that Morpheus is taken care of, so he's about to leave when suddenly he's attacked by someone in the shadows! 
Just as Moon Knight is about to finish off the shadow guy he suddenly sees Marlene falling off the roof! 
Just as he gets to the roof edge, he realizes that Marlene isn't there! But the shadow figure instead pushes him off the building! 
Moon Knight does what he does best and lays on the ground in a daze for a moment. 
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Figuring he's exhausted, he decides to change back to Lockley and head over to Gena's for breakfast. 
Jake complains to Gena and Crawley about his hallucination or waking dream. 
Crawley tells Jake about how dreams are hallucinations and that in some cultures that dreams are as good as reality. 
I just want to say that in these pannels it's so wonderful to see Jake in his element. The diner, the friends, and drinking his bad coffee. Gena even remarks that she made his eggs just how he likes them "Runny". 
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Anyways, Jake takes off, still feeling ill at ease. 
Samuels, the butler, meets Jake outside and tells him to use the garage entrance, as someone is visiting. Marlene's brother, Peter! 
Jake takes off running to quickly change. 
"Being four people ain't easy... And between Lockley, Spector, and Grant, not to mention Moon Knight, it gets downright scarey. In fact, my biggest fear is that whichever personal I adopt, It'll be somehow destroyed by the other three..." 
OKAY. Let's... Take a moment to look at that. 
It's hard to say who is speaking here. Jake was the one that arrived at the house, but he's in the process of switching out to deal with Marlene and her brother. In this moment, he should be going to Steven, as this is Steven's area. But sometimes in between changes, we see Marc when he's alone. 
But is this a fear of all of them? That somehow they will be deemed unacceptable and destroyed by the others? 
I think this might be a realistic worry that some part of them is seen as not needed and gotten rid of. Perhaps it is Steven who worries that his lavish dealings are not needed. Or Jake who struggles to live his own life with his friends. Or even Marc who hates his life so much that he often self-destructs. 
Marelene interrupts their musings, calling for Steven to come calm her brother down. 
Peter is down in the library having his own little nervous breakdown. 
Peter explains to Steven that he keeps having recurring dreams that Morpheus is coming for him. The night terrors are getting so bad that he's growing physically ill. 
He worries that he himself is growing to be more like Morpheus due to his lack of proper sleep and dreams. That he might mutate and become the monster too. 
Peter has started to study Oneirology (the study of dreams) and sleep science. He believes that dreams and the hormones and chemicals around dreams are the key to things like ESP and telekinesis and the likes. 
Peter describes a dream he has of Morpheus waiting outside his window before shattering it. He then wakes to find the window intact, but a glass he left next to the window broken without cause. 
Steven sends Marelene and her brother up to their vacation home in Maine to get some rest, driven by Frenchie. He has his own research to do. 
But as Frenchie drives, Peter falls asleep and suddenly Frenchie is hallucinating a giant monster in the road! He swerves to avoid it and crashes. 
Meanwhile, Moon Knight is up visiting Morpheus again, checking him fully this time to see if he's really dreaming. 
The shadowy figure shows up again and attacks him from behind! 
Moon Knight gets in a good hit and the figure flees. 
This time, Moon Knight gives chase! 
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He’s in for a good time. 
I love how he’s drawn when he’s startled or confused. A blank face in darkness but those little eyes still give away SO MUCH. 
He dreams of a New York blasted to rubble by a nuke. 
Also of a weird gruff clown that asks him how Marlene is. 
Moon Knight takes it in stride. 
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I can’t stress enough how well Moon Knight has always dealt with things like this. Odd things that don’t make sense. Things that might make other people freak out or realize something is wrong. He just takes it as it’s presented to him and goes about his merry business. 
This is an extreme coping mechanism for someone used to dealing with extreme stress, trauma, survival, and also just weird things. 
In the tunnel, Moon Knight comes across models in bikini's being judged by men in top hats in innertubes in a pool. 
One of the ladies declares Moon Knight to be her "white knight" and asks to be rescued. He just kinda shruggs and goes "Sure--Right this way." 
And then he's attacked by large screaming bats. 
"Into that tunnel up ahead! Bats hate caves!" 
Yeah... this... this is gonna get weirder people. 
Then the model he's rescuing turns into Marlene, complaining about Bloomingdales to Steven. 
A huge snake appears and attacks him. 
Marlene declares that she can take care of it. She walks into the snake's mouth and uh... I'm not sure what this is supposed to imply but I’m sure it implies something.
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 And just like that, he wakes up in a subway on the tracks with a train heading right to him! 
He dives out of the way just in time and finds the shadow man still running from him. 
It would seem that even in his dream state, he still managed to chase the man. 
"I've got to overcome these bizarre dream attacks [...] But I can't just give up and let this guy get away! Got to risk the dreams--Try to stop him before I"m lost in that nightmare world again!" 
He momentarily gets the best of the shadow man when suddenly he finds his worst nightmare. 
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I adore this art. The reaction. THe hand. The difference in style with the three of them. 
It also further points to my theory that Moon Knight is his own alter. He is not Marc, Jake, or Steven. Maybe he isn’t a fully realized alter and not fully self aware of being his own person, but he really is his own person. 
Now we get to see how Moon Knight himself deals with the trio. His different views on them and how he thinks they might see him and themselves. 
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As sad as it is, I’m cheering because this is the first time Moon Knight has declared himself his OWN person. “I’m Me! I’m Moon Knight!” He has gained self recognition! 
But what does this mean for him and the others? 
Moon Knight breaks free of the dream and finds himself beating up a store manikin in a street. He looks up in time to see Lockley’s cab careening down the street towards him being driven by the shadow man! 
He makes work of the crescent darts and gives the cab a flat tire (Lockley's gonna be pissed later). 
The cab crashes into a light pole. 
The shadow man attacks him again and Moon Knight attempts to fight off the dreams. 
He uses his crescent dart to stab himself in the leg to attempt to wake himself up! 
He stabs himself over and over again as he fights off the shadow man. 
He knocks the shadow man down. 
Cut back to Peter, Marlene, and Frenchie! An ambulance has arrived to the scene of the car crash! 
But Peter is missing! The ambulance driver informs them that they didn't find another passenger and only them! 
Moon Knight unmasks the shadow man only to find PETER! 
"The man who's been trying to kill me for two nights running is Marlene's brother-- Peter Alraune!" 
Back at the research facility, the two janitors run into a very much awake Morpheus! 
Turns out the drugs they were forcing into him to help him dream was only making him stronger till he linked up with Peter and gave Peter the ability to induce dreams and use him as a pawn! 
Oh no! A Cliffhanger! 
This one is really something else! The fear of the other alters trying to make him go away. The declaration of Moon Knight being his own person. The art and the weird dreams! 
**This is going to be a multi-parter as I’m going to review the next one then come back and do the mini story! Stay tuned for part two! 
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nyxnightshade1332 · 5 months
Text
Expectations When Expecting (Book 1)
Chapter 5
Chapter 6:
The boys didn't run for long, somehow managing to round Grim into a corner, allowing Yuu to manage to reach them.
"Mrrah! I've had it with these boring classes!" Grim yowled, his fur puffing out slightly.
"Grim, you're making a scene! Do you want to become a great mage or not?" She said sternly, eyes narrowing as she dared him to make a move against her.
Grim, noting her tone of voice and remembering how terrifying she could be when angered, backed down, with an irritated, "UGH! When did you get all bossy?"
Yuu raised an eyebrow at the cat before picking him up. Yuu gave a warning smile, her tone changing to a sickly sweet warning. "Hey. Run away like that again, and I'm buying you a fireproof leash, got it?"
Grim winced, giving the young woman a nod.
"Good!" She smiled, turning to the (slightly terrified) boys. "Now! What's our next class gonna be?"
.
.
.
About an hour later, the group made their way to the cafeteria, Grim suddenly bursting with excitement and Yuu practically starving.
"Wooo! Lunchtime at last!" Grim sniffed the air, his eyes scanning over the food. "Whoa!" Grim began to drool. "They got some good-lookin' grub!"
Yuu agreed, mouth watering at the sight of a steak with mashed potatoes and several ice-cream and fruit bowls. Hopefully, it's well done. Can't risk raw-ish meat.
"It actually looks good!" Yuu responded, before silently adding. "All my school ever gave was pizza and fruit."
"Look how fluffy those omelets are! Ooh, grilled chicken! And a bacon-and-egg tart!" Grim flitted between several different meals, while Yuu looked for dishes that she would deem as safe.
"Shhh! Dude, inside voices!" Ace said, watching Grim. "Where was this energy earlier today?"
"Yuu, grab me the grilled chicken! There's only one left!" He pointed, tail practically wagging. "Ooh! And an omelet too. And that jelly-filled bread. Just fill your whole tray with 'em!" Grim pointed, getting more carried away. Yuu piled quite a bit of food on the shared tray. Yuu reached the steak area where she had begun to ask if it was possible to get a well done steak when all of a sudden, Grim yelped.
"Ow!" Yuu turned to see Grim on the floor with three giants standing over him. She quickly confirmed her special order before dismissing herself to check on Grim.
"Hey! Watch where you're goin'!" One growled before looking at his food. "M-my carbonara! You broke the yolk!"
"Whoa, that's messed up! Pokin' the egg is the best part!" Second stared before sending a menacing glare at Grim. "You better make this right, pal!"
"I'm gonna need that grilled chicken of yours as compensation." The first one snarled, extending his hand while Grim clung to a piece of chicken.
"No way! Hands off the bird, chump! I need my protein, because I am HANGRY!" Grim hissed, his ears flashing as if giving a warning.
"Hey! That's no way to speak to an upperclassman! Catch me outside and I'll teach you some respect!" The boy growled, cracking his knuckles.
Yuu pushed past the growing crowd, stupidly placing herself between Grim and the guys. "What's happening here?" She asked, heart thumping loudly against her chest.
"I'll tell ya what happened. That fur-ball broke my yolk!" He snarled, getting increasingly close to her. She took a step back.
"Okay, first? Back the hell up." She said, "Second, food is food. It's still edible. However, if you're that bent out of shape about it, then I'll give you one of these." She said, offering one of Grim's jelly-breads.
Yuu yelped when she felt the bread get slapped out of her hand and a finger poked her collar bone harshly.
"You're gonna pay for that." She heard him snarl while he pulled out a magic pen. Yuu's eyes widened at the sudden escalation of events. She hadn't even been rude.
All of a sudden, someone was standing in front of her. "Um, excuse me, sir, but it said in the handbook that fighting with magic was prohibited..." A familiar voice was heard, Deuce, as Yuu recognized him.
"Fighting? You got it all wrong. This is just me helpin' an ignorant freshman know his place." The glare sent at herself and Grim sent shivers down her spine.
The second student gave a howling laugh, eyes glinting maliciously. "Now, let's see just how many ways there are to skin a cat, heh!" He lifted his pen, and all hell seemed to break loose.
Chapter 7
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To the Floor, From the rat
Sukuna x Reader crack
@kmayafk and @ari-tart-3114 helped out with this
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By: 3 crackheads (HAHA! YOU THOUGHT IT WAS ONE BUTS ITS ACTUALLY dio- i mean THREE 👹)
Disclaimer: dangerous amounts of crack ahead. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED hehehe 👹. totally scary topics like rats with…penis??
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Summary: you are Sukuna’s maid and you’re paid to clean his enormous penthouse (and maybe something ELSE enormous but who really knows 👀). 
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Good god not the floors again!
Why does Master Sukuna always have me clean the floors?! Like, I could be cleaning literally anything else, but it’s always the floors *cries*. 
Maybe he just wants to see my non-existent ass? Who fucking knows at this point.
I rarely see the guy too. It's always a little rear glimpse here and maybe a sliver of hair there
He only tells me these things via text too, like I’ve never heard his voice. The other maids are starting to spread rumors around him. 
Some say he’s like ultra hot but an absolute dick but also that he’s like incredibly smart and doesn’t fuck around (his bedsheets really do beg to differ though, like good god the amount of cum stains on his bedspread)
He’s been having female visitors and it always ends with the woman crying and running away (coward). 
Some of the maids say his female visitors run away purely from seeing how enormous his cock is. Some even say it's because he continues till the visitor faints, even after they say no. 
Another says they run away from his expectations and are only there for their own pleasure
So now he just goes to hotels and such because why bring those women to his house and waste his time
Oh geez, thinking about Master Sukuna made me go toward his room.
Though I know he isn’t home and he didn’t ask me to clean up his room but hey what could be the harm though there’s still flooring in there so technically…
So now I find myself in his room with my jaw hitting the floor with how large it is. I look around more and find a wall full of pictures of women with “x” marks on them. 
Is he “thank you next” ing them?!?!
Before I can process, I see a small stash of pictures of the maids.
Oh no, oh no. He isn't-
“And who gave you permission to enter my room?”
I turn around and see him.
Sukuna.
“The floor gang!” I shouted at the strange unfamiliar man, supposedly the master of this house. It was almost as if a quest to get fired popped up.
Sukuna closed his eyes and sighs. He grabs a cigarette and proceeds to smoke. I look at him, wondering if he is going to fire me, or worse. 
It was then a tiny little furball scampered across the room. It seemed to be a screaming kitten that appears to have fallen into a trashcan as he was covered in trash. 
“QUICK GET THAT RAT” Sukuna screamed, causing me to jolt. 
“But master Sukuna why would you have a cat and not see it as such?”I chased the supposed kitten, now fearing for my life.
 As I tried to pounce on it, the kitten screamed out a weird noise. “SHEEEEEEESHH”
“Jeez you can’t even catch a small cat, what the fuck did I hire you for again?!?!”
“To make vegan eggs”
“Oh yes. You do make a pretty bussin vegan omlette”
Sukuna laughs, but then realizes something.  “Wait…What even the fuck is a vegan omlette?”
“A spicy version of connect 4” I answered snarkily.
“i-I what?”
Sukuna begins to look at me confused, but proceeds to keep his composure. 
“Don’t change the subject. Why were you in my room?”
“Well you see…” I looked around the room for an excuse and for a moment I didn’t have one
But catching sight of a statue on the floor that was clearly soiled. “That. I had to clean that, it’s clearly a biohazard.” “This?” Sukuna picks up the statue, showing some sort of mythical creature, a groundhog perhaps? No. A rat. Some will say it is a rat penis. 
“Y-yes sir it looked like it made a mess everywhere sir” 
“There is no need.” He quickly pocketed the questionable statue. “But since you’re here, I have a favor to ask of you…”
Ooooooh is it finally happening?!?! The moment all of us maids have been waiting for?!?!
“Can you draw what exactly a rat penis is??”
OH WHAT THE HECK??
Before I can even say anything, the world around me begins to fade away. My eyes start to feel exhausted. 
“Why am I feeling so… sleepy?”
“I see the drug is finally taking its effect on you”
I look at him, and gasp in shock. No way, how in tarnation was he able to drug me while we talked about the rat penis?
“WHEN DID YOU HAVE TIME TO DRUG ME WHAT THE FUCK?”
“By the very statue that led you here. It was diffusing sleep powder into the air that only works on scrubs like yourself.” Sukuna grinned over my collapsed form on the ground. 
I start to feel very dizzy. The last thing i see is Sukuna’s smirking face. 
“You shouldn’t have come in here naughty pet”
“Now put these on” He held out a headband with some strange animal ears along with a long pink tail clip thing. 
Funny how he thinks I have the strength to do so
LE TIMESKIP
I wake up, for some reason, very sore, 
My neck.
My back.
WHY AM I SORE. AND WAIT A MINUTE….
AM I WEARING A RAT COSTUME??
AND TIED UP TO THE BED?!?!?
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
AM I A RAT OR AM I A LADY?!? 
I notice a piece of paper next to the bed lamp. The paper said. 
Once a rat, always a rat.
I fume in anger. 
“Ah, it seems you’ve finally awakened” The monster I've come to know as Sukuna walks in, with the most punchable look on his face. If only I wasn’t tied up like this, I’d send this jerk flying. 
“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN. I WAS DRUGGED AND YOU DO THIS TO ME? AND WHY IS MY BACK SORE?”
“It’s not my fault you hit the ground too hard.” {hehe you thought us 3 did something there} He walks over with an intense stare especially at the rat costume. 
I close my eyes. I look at the handcuffs, and rip it from the bed. 
“You really thought this was going to contain me?” mistake number 1 as I would later find out
“This is what it means to go even further beyond!” I charge at Sukuna, not caring for the consequences. “PLUS ULTRA” I swung as hard as I could, but at the last second my back gave out and I became like a worm on the floor writhing in pain. And he dodged it 
“Pathetic. Did you expect me to praise you?”
I look at him and give him a matching grin
“No, but look what I have”
I grab the same drug he used on me. His eyes go wide
“Wait-”
I spray it on him and he immediately goes to sleep. 
I make sure that he is asleep and immediately run out of the room. I grab my things from the servant quarters and run for it. Various maids looked on as I ran, I realized that I am still wearing the rat costume (AHHH SHIIIIIT).  
I then realize that I am like all those other women he fucks with, except dressed like a rat. I cannot be in a room with that… monster.
But is it cowardly to quit? Maybe. Is it the best option for the time being? Yes.
It truly is a shame he’s hot. During our encounter I noticed many MMA awards on his walls on that luscious deep red paint coat.
“I see the rat has found my awards” It was as if Sukuna had teleported behind me. 
I jump. HOW THE FUCK WAS HE AWAKE AND I HAD CRASHED?!
“Using my very own rat penis against me… Perhaps you are the one I’ve always been searching for.” With a swift grasp, he grabbed me like a potato sack, but more like a rat sack…
“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN” I fought against him, pulling his hair like a child.
He pulled me into an embrace, not letting me go. 
“You really gotta tone down the rat fetish man”
Sukuna’s grin only widened. “You sure are feisty. I think I’ll keep you, my little rat.” He isn’t fazed in the slightest by my attacks. 
I try to think of a smart remark to say back, but I can’t. This weird feeling I am having cannot be described in words. 
“You can keep me, but the rats gotta go,” I blurted out without thinking.
“...”
“So you’re saying I can keep you?” Sukuna’s eyes glistened mischievously. Surely he was plotting something to get his way, after all he firmly believed in his favorite quote: “Once a rat, always a rat”.
“NO GET YOUR STUPID RAT PENIS OUT OF MY FACE”
He grabs me by the waist and carries me bridal style (insert wedding music)
Afraid of falling, I instinctively clutched onto him, which caused Sukuna to have the most annoying grin on his face. At this point, I’d much rather be dropped. Afterall the floor is basically my home in this accursed place. 
“So my little rat…” Sukuna looked down at me, “Where to next?”
I look at Sukuna.
“The Floor, you dumb rat”
“Who’s the rat now?” I cackle.
The end fool.
Or not 👀.
69 likes and it could happen.
The retuuuuurn of the raaat
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