Shitty local baking competition taken way too seriously by two fierce competitors, and taken the bare minimum of seriously by two horny judges :)))

rewatching pacific rim (2013, dir. guillermo del toro) for the nth time and it really is a cinematic masterpiece. the idea that the only way for us humans to defeat monsters is through effective global collaboration but more specifically, through people that are drift compatible, meaning SOULMATES who can be romantic partners or siblings or father and son or best friends or complete strangers with very similar experiences/traumas, and that the stronger their bond the stronger the jaeger and the better it fights, is just

you know, Nadja's rescue of Guillermo at the familiar vet was very spectacular, but her actual rescue was very quiet and involved her lying to one of her oldest friends to save him.

nadja & guillermo crime spree when???

i love that guillermo wifezones nandor TWICE in one scene in the urgent care episode re:

“hey nandor! you made it, hey giiirl” and

“he’s like, the queen bitch :)”

More Witch Guillermo for Necromancer's Guide to Seed Extraction (4th Edition)

@sorryitsinadmissible

I think my favorite detail about Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio is how at the end, Pinocchio even after turning immortal again, he still retains his original wooden form. In other interpretations of Pinocchio, he always changes his appearance to be more human- like in his features.

But in this movie, he retains the same wooden look he always has, to show that Geppetto truly loves him, as in his words, "I love you exactly as you are."

I think that Guillermo, at the end of Laszlo's 'Roast' party in episode 7, will reveal his secret.

The party will most certainly devolve into a roast of him instead, because of course it will. Because Nandor won't be able to make clever jokes or get anyone to laugh and in order to save his ego he'll do what he always does in those situations and sacrifice Guillermo in its place. He'll say unnecessarily cruel things because he thinks no one person can be more important to him than the fear of his own weakness. He'll pile it on too. One thing after the other. Maybe the other vampires invited to the roast will laugh along because familiars are easy marks. And the heat will build. There's only so many lashes Guillermo can take on behalf of Nandor's pride. And Laszlo, Nadja, and Colin are starting to grimace and wince.

And that's when Guillermo will do it.

He will stand up, with the chair he was sitting in making a horrible noise across the wood floor like a record scratch. To let you know that the party has been violently cut short.

And Laszlo will do a panicked head shake, maybe try to salvage the situation from the precipice that Nandor has unknowingly brought them to. That Guillermo is about to jump off of. With all of them helplessly attached.

Guillermo was put in the audience on the other side of the room. Already segregated from the rest of the group. He's in a room filled with vampires who were just laughing at him but now look. Nandor's peers. The whole vampire community is here, watching him.

Guillermo's vampires sit across from him at a long table with a podium, like a panel of judges. Like he's a prisoner standing before the pulpit awaiting a verdict. He's got one last moment to either swallow the pride he just started to embrace on a float earlier that year and sit back down, let himself be ridiculed like always but live to see another day ... or burn it all down like it deserves to be, with his plea of guilt.

Holding a struck match, Guillermo will finally speak the truth to Nandor. To everyone. The real truth. The one he hasn't spoken out loud yet. The one nobody knows.

He will say, "I have a joke." And everyone will listen.

"I paid to have some barely-turned, low-rank, nothing of a vampire. Who hasn't even been one longer than I have been a familiar…to bite me. And turn me. In the back room of a gas station where he works. And he did it."

"I've been turned by a vampire that wasn't my master. That wasn't you."

Guillermo's jittered, bitchy energy tapers. He no longer fidgets or looks around at the faces slack-jawed at him. He's gone cold.

Like a killer, he delivers the next blow straight at his master's heart, sitting across the room at the podium, similarly frozen in place.

"But that's not the joke."

"The joke is, I may not have known how taboo it was…that it would be such a big deal to everyone else…but I did know…" (he licks his lips and despite his unshakable intent the uncontrollable emotion he always carries inside him threatens to undo his composure. Still, he keeps his voice loud and steady. Mostly. His attention is focused. His eyes start getting a little wet, but he hardly notices. He's going to follow through.)

"I didn't even really do it because I wanted to. Not then, or like that. (Not with him). Not for the same reason I had wanted to do it before. Or the reason I told Laszlo and Nadja I did it."

"See…the joke is…"

(His voice has become softer. It still carries across the room easily. There is no one else in the whole house but Guillermo and Nandor.)

"I did it because I knew how it would make you feel."

"I did it because I wanted to hurt you."

i know the popular fan theory right now is that marwa hates nandor because nandor hates himself and while i fully agree that that is a man with deep self loathing I actually disagree that it’s the wish that made her feel that way. the exact wish was that she likes everything he likes, not that she dislikes everything he dislikes, which i feel is an important distinction. the djinn has lawyer fae bullshit rules, remember. he’s going to follow the letter of the wish, and he’s never going to make it more convenient for the wish maker. he’s probably not going to increase the span of it to make it so that their preferences are entirely identical, which is arguably closer to nandors meaning at the time. which means that marwa’s dislikes may be a rare source of free will for her, and the fact that she has begun to display a pretty strong hate for nandor is indicative of how this state may be affecting her and the rightful pain she feels at nandor for it. like. the sheer internal turmoil that must be caused by having your likes and dislikes inexplicably having zero internal consistency. suddenly experiencing a noticeable shift in your own preferences and not knowing why. realizing that there’s a nexus around one specific person and it’s the person you married right after it happened. she’s canonically a smart woman. she may have begun to realize that whatever’s happened, it’s tied to nandor. and personally I hope she fucks him up for it

It's still Valentine's Day in my heart, so I'm watching Hellboy (2004) on the 15th at almost 1am and I just have to think that the props and costume departments must have had so much fun on this movie

(animatronic heads were used for closeups of Sammael)

The special fx makeup team probably had fun, too, but I can't imagine it wasn't also really frustrating at times, like a 60/40 split of blissful joy and migraines

(Edit to change the last gif)

waiting for more details on GDT's Frankenstein be like

nandor begging guillermo stab him... with a stake.... twice.... he wants guillermo to top him sooo bad

source: @milo03co

guillermo's morals are so fucked up like yes i will kill hundreds of vampires for my friends, yes i'll lure hundreds of humans to their deaths at the hands of vampires, yes i'll then dismember those bodies after watching my master and his friends feast on them, yes i will watch this happen in real time for 13yrs after idolizing the lifestyle since childhood - no i will not kill one single human after finally achieving my dream of becoming a vampire because the smell of his shampoo made me cry after realizing he was a person and not a bag of blood for my newly awakened desires

I know this is not the takeaway I should have gotten from this episode but like. Genuinely, I want to see Nandor to interact with Guillermo's family sooo bad.

OK I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS FOR FIVE SECONDS TOO LONG I GOTTA WRITE THIS DOWN CUZ OH BOOOY

ok so we all know guillermo is supposed to be under quadruple hypnosis and can't hurt any of the vamps in season 3

unless you forgot but I don't blame you if you did

side note: does that mean energy vampires can use hypnosis or can they only if they're assisted by a blood sucking vampire? (NO MATTER WHAT I DO ENERGY VAMPS WILL FOREVER CONFUSE ME)

and since he's immune he's gotta at least pretend to prevent them from fucking killing him

got it? got it

now remember the slap™ right?

who doesn't? gotta be one of my fav nandermo moments

now I know it was heat of the moment and everyone was on edge so really I get nobody noticing but OH MY FUCKING GOD GUILLERMO YOU'RE FUCKING LUCKY YOU WERE ABLE TO SLAP HIM AND GET AWAY WITH IT

BUT this isn't about me being annoyed about this really small thing no no no

I have a small theory: the slap led to the nandermo fight

let me explain (note: this only works if you believe the fight was pre-planned which I do)

now I'm not saying he immediately thought of getting guillermo to fight him like five seconds after getting slapped no no no

I personally think once all the shit with the sire died down like maybe as he was laying in his coffin trying to sleep it fucking hit him HEY WAIT A MINUTE GUILLERMO FUCKING SLAPPED ME

now he probably didn't tell anyone (maybe scolded guillermo? but I doubt it) and just let the fact that it's clear the hypnosis didn't work to himself since if he did tell anyone guillermo is fucked

so after a bit it might have just sunk into the back of his mind

that was until when he was planning the trip to turn guillermo

he wanted to make sure he could protect him but how could he do that? I mean if he can't hurt him how can he prove he can protect me without putting either of them in danger? guess no trip :(

this is where the slap comes in!

at some point while coming up with how to test him he remembered hey wait a minute guillermo can slap him which means he could possibly do MORE than just slap him which means he can fight him to prove he CAN defend him

cough cough it also could mean guillermo can fuck his shit up in a really homoerotic way which he's really down for cough cough WHO SAID THAT

bada bing bada boom the plan to get guillermo to fight him is born to the delight of nandermo shippers out there