Tumgik
#like making it look like a chemical formula is just. thats so cute
gardeningintrests · 3 years
Text
food 1a)
All around the galactic province on the eastern side of the galaxy, there was a rumour going around
"have you heard? the infamous 'deathworlders' are going to arrive in a few cycles! "
"i heard they dont have any fur! they only have skin warping up their bare muscles!"
"i heard they use high grade weapons for their daily life!"
"the rumour has it that they will eat anything within its sight when hungry"
"i heard they have hair on their heads and no where else!"
of course, some of the rumours were stupid and exagerated. but in face, a crew of humans is indeed coming its way to the galactic eastern province to attend a universal meeting about their diets and if any food from the death world (also known as Terran) can be edible by any other species.
onced the news of the rumans sudden arrival at the international space station, half of the Kaaldan species were gathering outside of the space station to satisfy their curiousity of the looks of the Terrans (humans)
"ugh, what a nuisance" captain jack said while preparing to depart onto a unfailiar land and looking outside with a window thats tainted so that outsiders cant see inside.
"well we just gotta ignore it." "yeah we have no other choice do we?"
a few of the crew said and sighed. They want to qucikly get the goody goody greeting and information insertion and then finalize their existence so that they can go places without getting scorned or gazed at with curiosity and hostility.
but they have a klong way to go, so they need to start step by step.
"welp, lets get going. the longer we stay the more people are coming here"
"can we even call them people?"
"dont be rude, Francis. We are going to be with them for the rest of our lives."
"im so resigning"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The crew of humans finally with the help of their hooded uniforms and masks and sunglasses, non of their face was recorded or taken a picture of. It was tiring to run from bystanders who are trying their horrible best to look at them.
they reached the meeting place.
Upon entering eveyong stood and welcomed them. in the meeting room, there was a huge round table, inside is no other than floating computer windows, statistics, notes and a system checker(like settings but more advanced)
they sat at the north of the round table (that makes them the star of the meeting)
they started as soonn as the humans took off their helmets and masks that hid of their face. and eveyone present were either wowed, shocked, scared or a mix of the said emotions.
Captain Jack Introduced himself, and eveyone is shcoked at his face. There was a huge scar, from his chin up to his forehead. Everyone present knows scars arent a good thing to talk about in any setient species.
they started with food, the basics.
once they all filled the humans screen with information of what is dangerous poison and what is edible foods around the galaxy. they provided them with the chemicals inside of the foods so that they can understand why theyre so dangerous.
afterall, humans are very curious creatures. so providing them with information would be a good idea to satisfy them.
Every species in the current seatings were proud of themsevles because they found humans a bit cute (somewhat like their young)
however.
the humans looked confused.
everyone soon tried to understand why, is it because the information is too complex for them to understand? perhaps a translation error? or perhaps they dont understand as they are not scientist?
then suddenly, one of the humans spoke : "uhmm, pardon my rudeness but is it alright for me to speak my mind?"
"of course human. "
"why is caffine not allowed?"
everyone stood in shock, and the remaining humans immediately pulled their friend down and whispered something to them. and the human seemed to relaized his mistake and apologized frantically.
"IM SO SORRY I WASNT AT MY RIGHT MIND JUST NOW, I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE CHEMICAL FORMULAS SO MUCH I FORGOT MY APOLOGIES!!"
the human shouted his apology so loud that some species had a hard time in reciving it.
the aliens were all curious but too scared to ask, until a kaaldan asked the thing everyone is thinking about .
"why do you think caffine is allowed? if im correct, caffine is a high poison. It is usually used for execution and maybe poisoning of the leaders."
eveyone noded or responded in some way that is fit to their way of agreeing.
"im terribly sorry about my comrade has said, and to answer your question just now captain Huieosyen. Because in our planet, humans sometimes need to keep themselves awake for a longer time and in order to do that, we drink a beverag called coffee....
after long hours of explaning cafine and other things that cannot be eaten however edible in some way.
all of them were shocked at the humans discovery of baking and a usage of fire. They wouldve expected them like half of them, using fire to engage in combat and defend or hunt, to find the humans not really fit into their expectations of violence.
'well its better this way, they are adorable beings and i rather them not join battles'
after a while, the humans started to talk about the dinning etiquette, courses, disserts and how they are served or how they are made. They also put up pictures and videos of the crew making the food themselves.
the aliens were... upheaveled. what? humans put bacteria on food to make it more delicious?? is this really a thing? humans like any other sentient species is that outside bacteria is not good for the body and they put it on food. the one thing they eat.
and then because of this the humans stayed another few hours explaning and giving out information for each food that basiclly exist.
"thank you so much for your cooperation, Humans. And we are terribly sorry for taking your time away."
"no no its alright, its for the safety of not only us humans but also the species out there."
and with that, the humans returned to the international space station and by the time they arrive, it was already 2 in the morning. what a long day.
a few months later, the whole article about human food is published onto the galactic net and everyone was caught off guard by the weirdness of the humans.
and soon, cook books and tv shows are suddenly on air, showing diffrent species of aliens what they can and cannot eat.
makes us wonder what would happen if they knew humans used fire for other things as well.
1K notes · View notes
dr4kenlvr · 3 years
Text
dating baji keisuke
pairing: baji keisuke x gn!reader
genre: fluff, slight bickering but that's normal in relationships no?,
a/n: yes nana is in love with baji <3 read tokyo revengers guys! i went a little crazy but- it's baji so it's okay.
Tumblr media
dating baji keisuke has to be one of the most chaotic, fun-filled, and loving experiences on earth
like his relationship with the toman founding members, he views you as his treasure and he would put his life on the line if it meant you would be alive and well
baji seems like the kind of guy who would rather have you far from the gang in order to ensure your protection
he's a bad bitch and the guy can fight thats for sure, but he can't always be near you especially when things get hectic in toman
he'd rather have you at home, and he can visit you whenever
despite that, he would love for you to meet his close friends!
baji believes that getting along with your s/o's friends is a good way to build trust, and to simply spend more time together <3
so you bet he's gonna try to get along with your friends too
if you're a studious person (good job! <3), baji's gonna ask your ass for help because we both know he needs it
whip his ass into shape because he's got a science test coming up LMAO
if you're not so studious (that's okay <3), then cue the half-assed study sessions
he would ask for a break every 10 minutes because 'chemical formulas are making his eyeballs melt'
he's so dramatic i can't
now, considering his violent nature- baji will beat bitches up it's called for, even if someone looks at you weirdly he won't hesitate to call them out
"the fuck you lookin' at turd?!"
"you look like literal dog shit, shut your ass up."
you laughed out loud at his vile words before telling him to quit it and move on
when you two have time off of school, clubs and the gang (LMAO), baji would take you on rides around the city!
spontaneous rides are his fav, he'll text you to get ready to go at 10 PM when he's already outside your house
(will leave in respect if your family won't allow you out so late)
when you two do go, it varies what ya'll do from getting take-out yakisoba to trying to save a cat from a tree
speaking of cats, when you go over to his place (his mother adores you), stray cats are often seen roaming his room
the two of you love to take care of them together; buying them food, rubbing their tummies, and even showering them
baji can't thank you enough for coming over to take care of the cats with him
he seems like the kind of guy who would love going to bed holding you in some way, shape or form
spooning you? yes. spooing him? of course. you lying atop him? go for it. him lying atop of you? more often than you think.
just having you with him through the night makes him feel loved and so warm inside
sometimes a cat will join ya'll and he'll tear up from the cuteness ngl
if you slept over, baji would 100% follow you into the bathroom and while you're brushing your teeth, he'll wrap his arms around your waist and slump his head atop yours
has a cute morning voice, and he's whiny
if you often tie your hair or if it's at a length that can be tied at times, baji'll keep a couple extra bands on his wrist to lend to you whenever you need
likewise, you do the same because his weave breaks all his band elastics tbh
whipping it and shit in every fight
at times when he comes over to your place injured, you scold him, telling him that you don't want to see him like this ever again
he knows he's capable, telling you these scratches and bruises are nothing to him
you two bicker over this quite a lot, it's one of the only thing you two fight over
you know that his affiliation with toman is built from love and trust, not fighting and drugs
it's one of the many reasons why you haven't tried to get him out of it
he loves his friends so much, but he also loves you
baji doesn't want to argue with you any longer, so he does this thing where he holds your hand, rubbing his rough fingers across your palm before mumbling a soft "m'sorry."
you forgive him, only because you know he's sincere with his words despite getting in fights all over again
you love him, what can you say?
2K notes · View notes
Note
Jaden nd bastion for that domestic ask thing? >:3c
THE OTP YES i have so many feelings and everyone needs to hear me sob over the nerd baby and his superhero 
also that icon is the content i look for on this hellsite well done 
who is the big spoon/little spoon Jaden is the little spoon!! he prefers being the big spoon tbh he likes curling up against bastions fuckin ripped back but jaden always falls asleep first because he has to get this twelve hours or else he will be a grumpy boy but bastion?? bastion stays up all night drinking coffee and doing god knows what bc he’s the type of guy thats like ‘hey jaden im gonna go read a bit before i got to bed’ and then he fuckin stays up all night because he has no self control lmao so when it’s like 3am and he’s finally put down his book or finished dicking around on the computer he finally gets in bed and he doesnt want to wake up his husband (yes theyre married in my mind ok im love them) so he just lays down and pulls the human kuriboh to his chest and falls asleep 
what is their favorite non-sexual activity the standard answer is Card Games but besides dool masters they like to go on drives and look at stars and talk abt whatever. bastion is a chemical engineer and jaden’s his professional duelist trophy husband so they dont get to be together as much as they want bc jaden’s tournament schedule so when they’re together they gotta make it count u know so bastion will pick jaden up from the airport and they’ll just start driving out of the city talking about DM or what bastion’s been up to or whatever’s going through jaden’s mind (an enigma lmao) and then when there are no more streetlights to make it difficult to see the stars they’ll pull over and lay on the hood and cuddle and keep talking. it’s like 4am before they finally go home and since they’re going to sleep at the same time jaden finally gets his chance to be the big spoon 
who uses all the hot water in the morning getting jaden to shower is a fucking struggle he’s like a cat. living in the slifer dorm made him accustomed to being a generally gross person in general so he lives off dry shampoo and body spray so he doesn’t smell like hassleberry after a workout so that leaves bastion to take all of the water because he showers every morning after his run and insists on h is hair being perfect and well taken care of. like the guy has at least five different hair care products in the shower at all times while jaden, even though he’s dumb thick rich, buys that 3-in-1 crap he and syrus used to make stretch for a month back in college. jaden is also known to stick his kuriboh hair under the sink and shake it out like a dog because he is a gross boy that usually gets up about ten minutes before he has to leave so there’s no time for an actual shower and we’ve gotten away from the actual question but the tldr is bastion stands under the hot water he’s got one of those mirrors to shave in the shower while he’s doing his deep conditioning treatment and has a pore strip on his nose for beautiful ™ skin 
what they order from take out this one ties in a lot to my sageshipping BrOTP headcanons (on god there needs to be a brotp ask so i can scream to the world my love for bastion/alexis friendship) but the bit of background is that bastion and alexis would always order from this indian place that was open real late at night when they were in grad school together (no delivery at duel academy cause its an island u know) so it has a special place in his heart. jaden is a wimp when it comes to spice but since bastion loves it they order it anyway and the people that deliver the food know to make it wimpy baby spicy for jaden so he doesn’t end up sweating half his body weight up and crapping out lava four hours later 
what is the most trivial thing they fight over oh god they dont fight a lot because they love and appreciate each other’s eccentricities but if they’re going to fight its going to be over who’s doing the driving. they both love cars, bastion likes taking it apart and modifying them and whatnot and jaden likes the aesthetique (though his aesthetique is painting flames on a corolla jaden u lil shit smh) and they both like to go fast so when they go out they bitch abt who gets to drive. bastion tells jaden he doesnt appreciate the feel of the machine and jaden says bastion drives like a fucking old man so they end up settling the matter with rousing game of rock paper scissors 
who does most of the cleaning NEITHER OH MY GOD theyre both total slobs. bastion’s desk and home office is covered in his notebooks and duel monster cards, his walls covered with god knows what (formulas, dates, to-do lists, grocery lists) the guy just grabs the sharpie and starts writing because he’s afraid of forgetting something if he doesnt get it down right then. jaden lives in filth he has three day old bowls of cereal at his desk and uses used napkins as tissues he is certifiably NASTY. anyway they hire a housekeeper to make sure the entire house doesnt fall into disarray and she’s like their surrogate mother making sure they eat more than takeout and coffee and making sure the house smells nice. they call her Mama Cheryl (good middle aged mom name) and she’s the embarrassing mom at jadens local tournaments the kind that prints out huge pictures of his face and wears shirts with Neos on them and cheers for her boy v loudly. again we’re away from the question but i have a lot of headcanons abt this i’ll probs put in my dissertation lol 
what has a season pass in their DVR hmmm this is an interesting one…i like to think jaden loves crime shows because they’re heroes and he likes watching the good guys ™ win in the end. his favorite show is psych (which u all should watch its hilarious) but since that ended a while ago he’s been in to criminal minds and SVU because he likes watching the really diabolical criminals get caught. bastion never knew his mans was into such dark stuff until he opened the season pass thingy and got quite the heart attack because he thought jaden was all butterflies and flowers and funny stuff but bastion had to learn the duality of man the hard way. bastion doesn’t watch television that much but his guilty pleasure is vikings on the history channel and stuff on the discovery channel because he loves learning what a nerd 
who controls the netflix queue jaden is the one that likes to watch netflix the most but i wouldnt say he’s in control per se. they’re usually down for watching what each other likes but in the end jaden will sometimes end up superseding bastion because dammit bas we are not watching a documentary about the dead sea scrolls you dont even believe in god and bastions like fine youre cute we can watch Castle (even though thats not on netflix but i wish it were) 
who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working jaden. jaden all the way. bastion brings up a a wikihow article about how to fix the hvac system and he’s like I CAN FIX THIS and jadens like ily babe but you work with chemicals not with this kind of thing ur gonna break it like the time u tried to fix the sink and fuckin clogged the shit out of it we are calling Cheryl and Cheryl’s like jaden im a housekeeper call someone who actually does this for a living. anyway while theyre waiting for the professionals to get there bastion tries to demonstrate he knows what he’s doing he is smort by writing the steps and shit on the wall and jadens like youre so cute but no dont touch the heating system. he has to distract his lil nerd by asking him about what deck he should use for his next tournament or what the probability of drawing three polymerizations on the first turn is and bastion loves talking about math so jaden keeps asking questions until the system is fixed (he doesnt remember much of bastions mathematical explanations but bastion looks so cute with his eyes all bright and shiny talking about statistics) 
who leaves their stuff around BOTH they are slobs. jadens a bit worse if we’re being honest because while bastion leaves his papers and cards around schmaden schmuki leaves his underwear and food and cups in the living room and is prone to stripping off his clothes for one reason or another and just laying on the couch watching ESPN with his goddamn pants on the floor and saying they were constricting his knees or some shit when bastion asks why he feels the need to be half naked all the time. bastion had his own room in college so he doesnt quite understand why jadens comfortable just answering the door with a trail of clothing behind him because most people that dont know him assume he’s been getting bizzay but nah he just be Like That
who remembers to buy the milk jaden do because he drinks milk in his coffee. bastion drinks it black so if theres no milk its like eh whatever but jaden is a mess without his caffeine and he hates how bitter and gross it is when theres no milk in it so even if jaden’s not the one going to the grocery store he’ll write it on the wall so bastion will remember it because his mans dont check his texts that often but anything on that wall he fuckin remembers and jaden doesnt understand why he be Like That 
who remembers anniversaries both! they are dumb thick in love with each other and they like to plan little things to do for the anniversary of their first date, when they made it official, their wedding, etc. jaden is much more extravagant and will do something like jump on the bed until bastion wakes up and then drag him out for breakfast and get atticus to sing a really off-key renditions of classic love songs and bastion blushes so hard and its so cute it should be criminal lmao. bastion will get jaden a cute little gift like one of those pictures where the artist takes a photo and paints it so they can hang it on their wall. or bastion will fine tune his duel disk or get him a new card for his deck. they are in big gay love and i love them so much 
thanks for this ask on god i just wrote 1800 words of tutorship feels i have a problem lol 
5 notes · View notes