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al1v3-p03ts-s0ci3ty · 3 days

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One shot idea: Neil (or Todd) admitting to the other that they like them

(THIS TOOK SO LONG IM SO SORRY-)

Thank you so much for the ask!!! I haven't written much lately so this was a nice start! This ideas been sitting in my notes app for a while so thank you for getting me to finally write it!!

[Authors note! This is set in the 90s. There are mentions of Welton but just imagine that the timeline got shifted up a bit. They're all in their mid 20s. Also the cat name Allen IS based off of that super cool fruity poet Allen Ginsberg.]

Cramped in a small apartment full of boxes that seemed to pile to the ceiling, Neil and Charlie sat on the scratchy carpet of their new home.

They'd spent their whole morning moving box after box from the U-Haul truck, up 3 flights of stairs and finally into their apartment.

"Once we're done moving all this stuff maybe we could have a housewarming?" Neil said, taking big breaths between words. Both Neil and Charlie were completely exhausted from carrying things around all day.

"Maybe we could get the guys to do all the unpacking for us." Charlie joked, although there was a hint of seriousness in his voice.

Neil chuckled at his friends joke and a short silence followed.

"Do you think it was the right thing to do?" Neil's voice was quiet.

"What?"

"To move out, I mean... I know it's for the best and I should just move on..."

There was a pause. "But?" His friend chuckled sort of awkwardly trying to break the tension.

"I'm just gonna miss him." Neil responded, his tone was completely genuine and if you listened carefully you could hear his voice break.

Of course, they were talking about their friend Todd.

Neil and Todd had been inseparable since the day they met in Welton Academy. They spent every waking moment in each others company, they shared a room together, they had classes together, they went to Dead Poets meetings together.

Now, Neil had developed a crush on Todd during this time, and as much as he'd like to say "it's not a big deal" or "it was just a small crush" he'd be lying.

After a long talk with Charlie about his feelings for Todd they both decided that maybe he should move out. He'd spent a long time living with Todd, maybe it was time for a change?

"Well of course you're gonna miss him! You've been in love with him since the day you two met, that's not gonna be easy to get over-" Charlie wasn't even able to finish his thought before Neil cut him off.

"I'm not in love I just-" He couldn't possibly sound more defensive if he tried.

"Look, Neil." There was a short pause before Charlie spoke again, he needed to think of the right words. "You wanna get over him, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Then you're gonna spend some time apart from him..." He turned to face his friend. "If I'm being honest... I always just assumed he felt the same way about you."

"Don't do that, Char."

"Hey, I'm just being honest." Charlie's words came out in an unusually transparent tone.

/////

Finally, they had their place set up. Their apartment had an open floorplan with a small living room and kitchen that was separated by a short bar and stools. There was a hall that connected their bedrooms and bathroom to the living room.

A small couch, coffee table, tv. They tried to make it as homely as possible given that they'd only lived there for a few days. And it worked for the most part.

"When are they supposed to be here?" Charlie asked from behind the kitchen bar, he was watching the packet of popcorn turn in the microwave.

Neil glanced towards the clock they hung above the front door, it was 6pm. "Around now... Maybe they're just running late?"

And then, almost comically, someone knocked the door. Charlie seemed unphased by the sound and made no effort to answer the door. He was such a great host.

Neil pulled the door open. There was already a smile already plastered on his face before he saw his friend's.

They hugged then exchanged greetings and complimented the pair on the new apartment despite the fact that they barely had time to properly decorate, there were still a few boxes here and there.

"Hey." Todd was the last one in the room. Everyone else had gone into the living room and were making themselves at home. But for now it was just Neil and Todd in the doorway.

"Hey..."

There was chatter coming from the living room but the sound seemed fuzzy from where the pair were standing in the hall. Neil definitely wasn't paying attention, especially with Todd right in front of him.

"Oh!" Todd rummaged through his tote bag and pulled out a book, it had post it tabs sticking out the sides as though it had been annotated. "Here." He handed the book to Neil.

"Thanks..." Neil takes the book in his hands and glanced down at it for a moment.

"I forgot to give it back to you after I borrowed it, and then... Well you moved out..."

It was a small copy of The Great Gatsby, ironically though Neil related to the main character as they both had friends in their lives that they had sort of a 'gay yearning' for. Though, neither of them would ever really admit it.

"It was good!" He began. "It was really good." Although Todd was obviously excited to talk about the book, he still spoke in his usual quiet voice. "Daisy was my favourite character by far."

"I knew you'd love her." Neil said, glancing back up at Todd from the book with a smile on his face.

Now that the other boys had settled into the apartment they were, rather loudly, discussing what they should do together.

"Monopoly?" Pitts asked.

Charlie shook his head. "No way, Pittsie."

"Why not?"

"It's too basic. We should play a more exciting game...hmmm."

Neil lightheartedly rolled his eyes before making his own way into the room with Todd. 'Typical Charlie.' He thought. It was obvious Charlie knew what he wanted to play yet he was making everyone wait, he was so dramatic. 'Maybe he should join the theatre.'

Then, suddenly, Charlie's face lit up. "Twister!"

/////

After a too long game of Twister and a few rounds of Uno, Todd was exhausted. Beside him on the couch was Neil, it took everything in him to not lean against his friend and rest his head on his shoulder.

The group was laughing about something, Todd couldn't tell what exactly it was, he was just so tired. The only thing on his mind at this point (beside Neil) was going home and getting some sleep.

God knows what the time was by now. His eyelids were heavy and he had to stop himself from leaning back against the couch and passing out. Neil noticed, obviously.

"You doing okay?" He whispered. His voice was barely audible in comparison to the other boys.

All Todd could do was nod.

"Tired?" There was a sweet smile on Neil's lips.

That smile... Todd could feel his cheeks getting warm. He nodded again. "Just a little..." He replied with a yawn.

Neil's laugh was the sweetest sounding thing you could ever dream of hearing... Or at least that's what Todd thought. "Just a little? You look like you're gonna fall asleep."

Todd lazily shakes his head, earning another laugh from Neil

"You can stay the night if you want... That might be easier than taking the bus."

"Really?" Why did Todd sound so surprised? Of course Neil would let him stay the night, he wouldn't make Todd take the bus alone, especially so late.

"Of course!" Neil smiled wide.

/////

Once the other boys had left and the only remaining people in the apartment were Charlie, Neil and Todd, Neil gave his friend a tour of the new apartment. It didn't take long as the apartment was relatively small and Todd had already been there for a few hours, however, he did like humouring Neil. He was always so theatrical.

"This is where you'll be staying." He said while mimicking some kind of fancy host, it made Todd laugh.

The room was small but cosy nonetheless. Theatre posters in frames lined the walls, he had a vanity that he used as a desk and there was a strip of photo booth pictures of Todd and Neil tucked between the mirror and the frame. Todd tried so hard to seem unphased by it, though his rosy cheeks gave him away.

He had a bookshelf that was more than full already, the middle of the shelves were sagging under the weight of the many, many plays and novels he owned.

Of course there was a box or two in the corner, Neil hadn't had time to move many of his smaller things into the room yet.

"You sure I can stay the night in here?"

"Don't be ridiculous, of course you can."

Neil left the room to give Todd some privacy as he got changed. Todd couldn't help but look around at the room. He was so used to all these things being in Neil's room- 'his old room.' Todd corrected himself- in their apartment, but now they were here.

He put on his fluffy pyjama pants and an old loose shirt before he made himself comfortable on Neil's bed.

Soon after, Neil came into the room wearing different clothes, clothes that Todd had seen him wear before. Now he was getting nostalgic, Neil had only moved out a week ago.

"Hey!" Neil said. 'He looks so cute when he smiles.' Todd thought.

"Hey..." Todd replied in a whisper.

"You comfortable?" Neil joked. "You can sleep there, I'll be on the couch."

"What?" Todd sounded offended on the behalf of his friend.

"What?"

"You can't sleep on the couch, Neil- this is your room. Y-you should sleep in here."

Neil shook his head. "You're my guest. You should have the bed."

"But it's your apartment."

Neil was still stood in the doorway and Todd was still sat on the bed. Suddenly the energy in the room shifted, like there was something lingering under the surface of their conversation, something important and unspoken.

"Well you're already on the bed, Todd." Neil chuckled. Quickly though, Todd got up, stumbling a little at the speed at which he stood.

"Neil, I'm not letting you sleep on the couch."

"Well I guess we'll both just have to sleep on the couch then." Neil joked, though Todd didn't laugh, and just like that the air was tense.

"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch."

There was another pause between the two and they were both facing each other directly now.

"Then... I guess we'll just have to share the bed." Neil suggested, mostly joking. Key word being 'mostly'.

"Yeah..." Todd replied, his voice came out soft and quiet. "M-maybe we will..."

It's not like this would be the first time they shared a bed. Some of those nights at Welton got cold and those blankets were barely enough to shield one person from the temperature. Besides, it's not like anything was going to happen...

/////

Todd sat comfortably at the head of Neil's bed, the pillows and cushions had been distributed between the two and they had propped them up behind them like makeshift backrests. Their hushed laughter filled the room.

"You're kidding." Neil said, in a playful tone.

Todd shook his head and even though he was still laughing he spoke with complete certainty. "I'm not."

"Allen really misses me?" Neil sounded somewhat surprised. Even though they had adopted the cat together some time ago it still surprised him that their cat could miss him.

"Of course he does."

"Well I guess if he misses me so much then I'll just have to move back in." Although he was being sarcastic, there was a trace of truth in his voice. Maybe he would have to move back in for their cat... And no other reason.

Todd let out a brief chuckle. The apartment was a lot quieter now and it was nearing the early hours of the morning and they had to keep their voices down. "So you'd move back in for the cat but not for me?" He joked but he still managed to sound somewhat offended.

"Oh come on..." Neil paused and took a moment to look up at Todd from across the other side of his bed. "You know I'd do anything for you, Todd."

Todd averted his gaze, he'd rather look anywhere else than look at Neil right now. He could feel his cheeks heat up, maybe he could just blame it on the temperature of the room, maybe Neil wouldn't even notice. Todd wanted to change the subject, he didn't want to talk about Neil being gone anymore, but he just couldn't get it off his mind.

"It's weird not having you around the apartment anymore..."

"It's only been a week." Todd could practically hear the smile on Neil's face, he was always smiling about something or another when they were together.

"Well... It's been a long week."

Now this was silence. Not exactly awkward or even anxious, but something else. Something remained between the two of them.

"Your room’s nice." Todd finally deflected the conversation onto something else, something easy to talk about.

"I-" Neil began. He could read Todd, and if he was going to change a conversation topic it must've been for a good reason. "You think so?"

"It's... Very you."

Neil chuckled. "I kinda figured that it's always been 'very me'. It is still all my stuff after all."

"Right- no- yeah-... You know what I mean." Todd shook his head, he was laughing with Neil now.

"I get what you're saying. It is a little different." Neil glanced around his room as if it had been the first time he's ever seen it. He began mentally nitpicking at the changes he'd made.

"Oh?"

"Well for one," he started, "that huge cat scratching post isn't in here anymore."

"Yeah..." Todd looked around now too, he was picking up on the subtle things that were different about the room that used to be so familiar to him, silently missing the things that Neil had left in his old room.

"It's different without Allen, that's for sure, it's quiet." He chuckled. "And it's different without you constantly being in here-"

"I wasn't constant..."

Neil playfully rolled his eyes at his friend's disagreement. "It sooo was." Todd only responded by shaking his head with a disbelieving look on his face. "You were in my room all the time."

"Well... It'll be good to have this new space, right? And I'll have the apartment to myself." Todd was more talking to himself than talking to Neil, almost like he was trying to convince himself that Neil moving out was going to be good for them.

"I'll miss you being in here so often... It'll be so quiet."

"You're living with Charlie, it's definitely not gonna be quiet." Both boys laughed to themselves. It's like the world outside this room had stopped and they were the only two people in the world.

"Yeah." He continued to laugh. "I guess you're right."

"It might be a good change of pace?"

"Maybe..." Neil only half agreed. "I'll miss the quiet though... I'll miss you."

Their eyes met and Todds heart skipped a beat. "I'll miss you too..."

The room went quiet again. "We should probably get some sleep." He said awkwardly, breaking the tension. Now it was Neil who was deflecting and trying to change the subject. He got off the bed and started haphazardly moving the pillows and adjusting the sheet beneath them, not necessarily doing anything but just trying to make himself look busy.

"Neil...?"

Neil felt his world stop for Todd in that moment.

"Yeah?"

"Did... Did I d-do something wrong?" Todd asked, his voice was quiet, almost like he didn't want Neil to hear him.

"What?"

"To make you want to move out... Did I do something wrong?"

Neil shook his head profusely. "No way. Todd you're the best roommate anyone could ask for."

There was a pause, Todd wasn't sure if he should leave the conversation there or not, but he was curious.

Finally, he asked. "Then what was it?" It was inevitable that Todd would ask Neil this question sooner or later.

Neil sighed, he had to make up something. "I thought it would be better to get out of the apartment, ya know?"

But Todd just looked up at him from the bed, unmoving. It was obvious that Todd didn't believe him.

"I thought it might help me..." Neil took a deep breath as if he was bracing himself. "I didn't want anything to come between us." He said about as much as he could without giving himself away.

Todd shook his head. "What do you mean?"

"It's just..." He sighed. How could he possibly explain this? "It's not a big deal."

"Then why can't you tell me?"

The air was thick and the pauses they took between talking felt like eternities.

"I didn't want anything to change between us, that's all." Now it was Neil who had turned his gaze away from Todd.

"Why would anything change?"

"I kind of..." He took another deep breath, his lungs filled with the cold night air that poured through his half open window. "Had a small... Crush on you while we were living together." He barely even glanced at Todd after he said this, he wished he could read Todd and tell just how he felt.

He had about a million questions for Neil but all he could manage to choke out was-

"W-what?"

"It was just a small crush really, it was barely anything." He stuttered and stumbled over each word, with every sentence he let out he felt like he was letting out more and more that he couldn't take back.

"You... You m-moved out because you had a crush on me?"

"Yeah...." He nodded briefly before turning to Todd.

"But... you only moved out a week ago..."

The brunette nodded. He felt like there was a lump in his throat and a pit in his stomach.

"D-do you still... Feel like... That?"

Neil let out an awkward chuckle. "I guess so, yeah."

"You moved out to get over me?" Todd was still somewhat smiling, like he didn't believe it was true.

"Yeah." He nodded. Neil was a lot calmer now that it was out in the open. He thought this would've gone a lot worse than it did.

Todd let out a sigh of relief, which Neil immediately noticed.

He scanned Todd for any sign of discomfort or anger, though he didn't pick up on any. The only other time he'd felt this anxious was when his father showed up unexpectedly in the audience of a play he was in. But he'd rather not think about that.

"What?" Now that he was at ease he could finally do something besides just stand there and look anxious.

Todd dismissed the question by shaking his head, although he was still smiling. "It's just..." He lowered his voice. "I-I've gotten that advice before."

Neil just gave him a confused look.

"Meeks... He thought I should've m-moved out when I... Told him I liked you."

Neil went speechless, his mind was racing. It all made sense now, thinking back to all the times he even considered that Todd felt the same way about him. It all made sense.

"What?" Neil choked out as his lips formed a smile.

Todd reciprocated his smile. "Just before you moved out..."

The two boys shared a glance and the room seemed to shrink, pulling them closer together.

"Really?"

"...yeah."

"Charlie had his suspicions." Neil joked. He tried keeping the conversation light hearted, he knew that Todd didn't hold up well under stress.

"I thought it was so obvious-" Todd mumbled, he hid his face in his hands.

In hindsight it was incredibly obvious. It was ridiculous that they had no idea that the other had feelings for them until now.

"I... I guess I just never noticed before." Neil sat back down in his original position on the bed. "I thought I was the obvious one." He laughed.

"Really?" Todd's voice came out like a mouse, he peeked at Neil from behind his hands.

"Oh yeah!" He nodded reassuringly. "Remember all the valentines' I made you?"

"Oh my God-" The shorter boy covered his face with his hands again, embarrassed, his face flushed red. "I had no idea."

"Really? No idea?"

Todd silently shook his head in response.

Neil hadn't noticed his cheeks heating up until he saw himself in the mirror. His face was bright red and there was a sweet smile on his face. He never even dreamed that this day would come. Not only was he able to confess to the love of his life, but to hear Todd say in his own words that he reciprocated those feelings, it just meant the world to him. Maybe this was the beginning of something new?

Carpe Diem.

#my post #my fic #fanfic #fanfiction #dead poets society #neil perry #todd anderson #anderperry #dps #dps fic #dead poets society fanfiction #dead poets society fandom #charlie dalton #steven meeks #gerard pitts

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saintharvest · 2 years

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dont mind me i just wanna ramble

#dude i absolutely love frosty the snowman and i feel like i cant post about it like any other time besides around the holidays cuz like.#idk people just dont like seeing holiday stuff when it isnt around that time which i get but like frosty has always been a #special interest of mine for a very long time i remember being like 7 and watching it every day in the middle of summer #like im seriously i love this guy so much #i have this really old plush of him that ive had like my whole life i found a picture of me a little bit ago when i was like #three and i was holding it . it looked a lot better than it does now but its actually held up pretty well #theres no way frosty the snowman hasnt like impacted my art style in any way

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souredfigs · 19 days

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Of lovers burdened with glory and doomed since the beginning of time

Book mentioned: The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller/Song used: Achilles come down by Gang of Youths/Jujutsu Kasien 0 manga/Jujutsu Kaisen light Novel 1/Jujutsu kaisen manga chapters 78 and 236 by creator Gege Akutami/Jujutsu Kaisen season 2 , director Shōta Goshozono

#so please please please let me let me let me #im not even kidding when I tell you how long ive wanted to make this thread #like the resemblance is INSANE #also let me just say im new to webweave and I need to get seriously better at it but anyways #Satosugu #satosugu webweaving #blood curdling angst #they loved each other sm you guys):#jujutsu kaisen #jjk 0 #jjk 236 #gojo satoru #geto suguru #geto is quite literally gojos achillies heel fight me on that #im gonna read some teacher geto aus to dull the pain #jujutsu kaisen season 2 #gege when i catch you gege #gege when i fucking catch you #madeline miller #the song of achilles #the iliad #and vampy once again screaming about fictional and historical gays #theres so much i wanted to add in this thread but oh well #achilles come down #patrochilles #their stories are one in the same ur honour

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dhmis-blog-poncho · 1 year

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finished

#dhmis #dont hug me im scared #dhmis fanart #dhmis red guy #red guy #hi functionally artistic #god help me this cold is kicking me ass rn #i will try to post more sorry #also thinking about making another blog #specifically tontu related since i really like him and he’s my husband #like and ask blog or something #i also got a plush of him #of tontu that is #seriously i love him so much

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snezfics-n-shit · 6 months

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#this meme has been going through my head for a bazillion years lol #i love to interact and then it hits me that im probably bothering you guys #plus the current popular stuff I am sadly so unfamiliar with #when i was younger i would gravitate to my own interests when i was unfamiliar with other topics and it got on peoples nerves a lot #and i completely understand that so i dont wanna repeat those mistakes #its just like a game of pingpong of me talking too much and me hiding under my desk bc i feel like im bothering everyone #also like the last time it was p much confirmed i was being annoying i cried for like two hours bc my fears were realized haha #and when a line is drawn for me i kinda like to stay at least 2ft away from wherever that line is just to be safe #you gotta like throw a cookie attached to a fishing line to get me closer to the line lol #because i will seriously be way too cautious otherwise #im trying to get more brave though im just kinda like my cat who heard a noise in the bathroom cabinet #and now he refuses to go near it #being mindful of others feelings and respecting their boundaries is super important to me #and sometimes that boxes me in a bit

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crescentfool · 24 days

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happy mochizuki monday, have a little doodle i made based on a convention i went to this past weekend :)

#persona 3 #ryoji mochizuki #minato arisato #lizzy does art #as u can see i went as ryoji. because he's my favorite guy and i love to represent him.#but also i kind of regret it because oof. ima be real guys #ryoji mochizuki would not survive hawaii weather AT ALL it was like 27c 💀#anyway i was very thrilled to see that someone went and cosplayed minato...!#i have to say it was. so funny taking a picture with them and then making a drawing based on it because like #im an ant. as you can see. like. minato being taller than ryoji is lowkey cursed #i also saw sumi with joker (metaverse fit) + some guy wearing the yasogami high uniform...#there wasn't that much persona (as in three. there was plenty of five) but i did get a nice print of sees :D #and i got to walk around artist alley with some of my friends which made me really happy!! i love friend shrimp....#i wish i got to spend more time there but oof the heat got me beat 💀#but seriously though i cant stress enough how nice it was to spend time with friends i think hanging out with people is so swag...#i hope everyone can make positive and fun memories with people they care about :) happy mochizuki monday!!#i think about ryoji and minato 24/7 and i cant wait to draw them more again u have no idea how much i missed them...#they make drawing so fun for me they're the most guys ever <3

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alagaesia-headcanons · 1 year

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I love that Nasuada's major flaw is the same as one of Galbatorix's greatest flaws, and that it gets worse and more ingrained throughout the series. And it's so compelling because it's incredibly in character for her and there's every reason for the circumstances to perpetuate and exacerbate it, but that doesn't make her flaw any less egregious. The scene where Galbatorix compares the two of them is so fascinating because his intention is very manipulative and malicious, yet the statement itself isn't entirely untrue.

Because Nasuada treats people like tools. She considers a person's utility more important than anything else, including their personhood.

And it's such an engrossing flaw because of course Nasuada treats people like tools! She is proud and powerful and stubborn and noble and utterly committed to achieving what she has set out to do, by whatever means necessary. She will use whatever she has at her disposal to reach her goal, and that includes using the people around her. Of course, this doesn't make Nasuada inherently immoral; she cares deeply about justice and protecting her people. But her views on the individuals around her are impersonal and self serving.

And the goal she's trying to achieve is to win the war. Nasuada would never be pushed out of her ways by the circumstances because they work, the way she treats people accomplishes exactly what she intends. By its nature, the bloody act of war rewards using people like tools. It demands that, even; to a certain extent, it's an ugly necessity in war, but the thing is that Nasuada doesn't see it that way. She never struggles with or grieves over the need to consider people's individuality as secondary to their function. It comes naturally to her, and it lasts through the end of the books, when the war is already over.

Because I think the most flagrant example of this is at the very end, when Birgit intercepts Roran as he's leaving, presumably intending to kill him, and Nasuada says, "He has proved himself a fine and valuable warrior on more than one occasion, and I would be most displeased to lose him." It's such a wonderful, pointed line that perfectly sums up this aspect of her character. Because what a disgusting thing to say. Especially for the queen of all Alagaesia, perfectly positioned and empowered to stop this confrontation and declare it unjust if she cared to. But her words make no attempt at all to defend Roran as a person, only his value to her.

The way she uses others I find most evident in her treatment of Roran, Murtagh, and Elva. The way she tells Eragon that she thinks of giving Katrina a dowry as a "purchase" of Roran's goodwill and loyalty. In Uru'baen, only at great length, she makes the conscious choice to ignore Murtagh's past and only judge who he is in the present, but disregards any care for what that might say about him as a person, solely focused on if he could be useful as an ally. And when Eragon offers to revert Elva's curse, the one that condemned an infant to feel every piece of pain and suffering surrounding her, Nasuada is so fixated on Elva's utility and value to Nasuada's goals that she goes so far as to ask Eragon to fake his effort to cure her. She sees people as tools to such an extent that she can't recognize that relieving an innocent baby of unimaginable, cursed agony should come before her own priorities.

#guys i LOVE her #its SUCH a good character flaw im obsessed with it #eragon #inheritance cycle #nasuada #roran #elva #murtagh #pretending nasuada is entirely good natured is so boring i swear #she is passionate and heartfelt #but she is also Fucked Up sometimes #seriously tho those moments i mentioned always hit me like 'wow babe wtf is wrong with you???'#her nuance *chefs kiss*#she has the range #(also tbh. big reason why i think she and murtagh wouldnt work out together. this would cause A Lot of pain. too much.)

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hella1975 · 6 months

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hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

#seriously another shout out to my mutuals #id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being #and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting #bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!'#hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over #and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic #sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭#okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals #like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful #so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up #than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess #they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds #so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW #okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE #SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES #if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends'#then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context #but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic #and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF #okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this #ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day

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agapemoon · 11 months

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i find very funny how everyone in the island knows that q!philza is really good at pvp, like even out of rp viewers from all communities know this, know how good he is bc it’s always implied. And then, there is fucking q!roier ….. silly q!roier who is secretly really good at pvp but is always goofing around bc he doesnt want anyone to think he is a “tryhard” so no one in the island and out of rp (besides q!spreen) knows that he is actually very fucking good at fighting and a nerd, he just never activates his tryhard mode bc why would he? Silly guy just wants to have fun and be silly, there is no need to take things seriously and he doesnt want to be taken seriously either …. bc once again, he’s just a lil guy being silly <3

#qsmp #roier #philza #spreen #like its funny bc im sure everyone thinks roier is not good at pvp as if he wasnt raised in highpixel since he was 13 alongside spreen #I dont think he can beat spreen though but spreen says roier is hard to fight when he plays seriously so yes even spreen agrees #correction: he won against spreen once dkxjdkxf #also ive seen tryhard-roier in action and yes all my hommies love tryhard-roier #is very cool to see him kill other players so fast and quick makes me proud. Is like ‘oh so spreen was right’ Ik it’s unexpected but #we (roiers community) know he is GOOD he just doesnt want to show it hes like shy or smth he doesnt want anyone to think he is a tryhard #he always says he is just ‘silly and funny moments roier’ and then he is at the finals of every single mc event with an amazing countkill #u all have no idea how much i want this server to push roier into his tryhard mode i MISS TRYHARD-ROIER #he only appears when he is caught up in the moment or when he is playing an event seriously and wants to WIN #HES A NERDDDDDDDD HE IS A CLOSETED NERDDDD !!! WHEN HE SAYS HE ISNT THAT GOOD HES LYING !!!!!! HES A LIAR !!!!!#YES IM EXPOSING MY STREAMER #HE WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO MESSAGED CCS TO TELL THEM STARTEGIES TO WIN. IM TELLING YOU HES A NERD NERD NERD and i love him for that 😭💖#if u guys dont believe me. Watch the vod of that day roier didnt log in after bobbys death and streamed on a sunday for a mc event #he killed three players in a row with a ton of lag. yes thats my streamer <3 #alessa's posts

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ibrokeeverything · 9 months

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I just started a rebels rewatch and I can't get over how touchy the ghost crew are. It's just constant reassuring or steadying hands on shoulders, kanan cuffing ezra on the head for being dumb, zeb shoving Sabine when she's being silly, hera laying a hand on chopper since he's family too.

It's making me insane and I'd kill to see stuff like this in more media!

#ugh i just love it SO MUCH #its the comfort and familiarity and closeness #and it's camaraderie #i especially love seeing how quickly ezra is involved in it #once they get to know ezra for a few days the touches start extending to him and it's like they're giving him a place to belong 🥲#im not okay #im getting emotional over little animated star wars guys #hELP #but seriously this is my favorite thing ever #i want every show ever to take notes and follow their example #star wars #star wars rebels

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acidpeaches · 1 year

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doodle page watching xbcrafted.. getting a hang of my new favourite guy! and then hypno showed up and i lost control

#i…… think i like them so much #xb!!!! im seriously love!!!!#his voice js so nice #horse head farms…….. theres nothing better i fear!#i know now why ppl keep hyp and xb together. whyy would u separate?#gonna draw this fish guy a lot i can feel it!!!#xbcrafted #hypnotizd #hermitcraft #fanart #STILL NEW TO DRAWING BOTHNOFBTHEM youre all seeing my baby steps be NICE.#btw. xb always kind of dripping water #keep him moist and hydrated

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thegirlsarethriving · 1 month

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just finished undertale. ok i see the vision. i now understand yall's Sans-to-Benrey obsession pipeline. and the Papyrus-to-Tommy Coolatta pipeline

#undertale #hlvrai #hlvrai2 #benrey #tommy coolatta #papyrus #benry #hlvrai benry #sans undertale #sans #undertale sans #undertale spoilers #i loved Papyrus so much and the whole time i was playing i was like hmm he reminds me of someone...? TOMMY. HE REMINDS ME. OF TOMMY.#i played pacifist but i saw how if u kill every1 n spare Papyrus Sans tells him every1 else is on a vacation bc truth would be too hard #file under: lies Gordon would tell Tommy if anything happened to Sunkist or his dad Gman #we wanna protect Tommy but on the other hand. the horrors r everywhere & Tommy go ham with a gun (he's terrified & acting on pure instinct)#(even tho Tommy has definitely faced his share of horrors in contrast to how Papyrus's loved ones try to shelter him from bloodshed)#i wanna write a paper psychoanalyzing Sans and Benrey in comparison to each other SOOOOO badly #it's been a hot minute since i last watched hlvrai (have seen it at least 4 times but not recently. did watch bbvrai live tho!)#im so extremely tired rn so i can't form proper thoughts :( but like:#they both have unfathomable otherworldly power and knowledge of their respective universes #but u wouldn't know it bc they're presented as just some chill guy who likes to make jokes and Vibe man #sike! they're a being of elderitch levels of power #they both act in accordance to game code but Sans can control parts of it (can see the timeline) while Benrey is much more subject to it #in some ways they are the antithesis of each other's motives but also contain the same vibes (all-powerful guy laidback n funny final boss)#Sans is judgment but doesn't interfere with the timeline. Benrey takes action that's “i knew this was gonna happen”#Benrey is fought as the final villain whereas Sans is arguably the final hero fight #anyways THEIR VIBES ARE BOTH SO !!!!!!!!!!!!!#idk if they'd be besties or mortal enemies #they can bond over being “unserious” (but they both take their true jobs very seriously. security guard and judgment bringer respectively)

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incorrect-riordanverse · 7 months

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im so mad that this is a side blog account and not a main account. i started this blog when i was still relatively new to tumblr and i think i was… like. fourteen years old or something. i never thought i would continue for this long, and i never knew so many people would like the content i put out here (i have over 9k followers which is literally mind-blowing, like wow….).

because this isnt a main account, i cant respond to replies left on my posts, i cant really reply to anyone unless i reblog !! i cant even follow people with this blog, it just comes up as my main blog (which is not pjo-related… rip my failed attempts at organising my fandoms to different blogs). so my avenues of interaction with a lot of you are seriously impeded.

so i just want to say i am so thankful for all of you, i read every single person’s tags who reblog my stuff, i read all of your replies and every time im crying screaming rolling around on the ground in agony over the fact i CANT REPLY!!

i know my posts are super inconsistent these days, im glad so many are still here! i think i may change some of my content eventually (never gonna get rid of the incorrect quote stuff, i’ll just be adding some other things like pjo headcanons or analyses or something), just to spice some stuff up on here.

#also! im currently writing a fantasy book rn and have been so stressed over the fact that authors are expected to have a following before—#—reaching out to agencies with a manuscript. and i seriously stress about creating a following.#so my backup plan is literally you guys. my four year old pjo account on tumblr with its silly little quotes 😭😭#and like. if that works. could you imagine. that you guys may actually save my future ??? like?? i love you guys for just following me bc ??#YOU MAY SAVE ME FROM THE CAPITALIST PRESSURES OF SENSATIONALISING ONES OWN ART FOR INVESTED SUCCESS YAYYYYYY #anyways im not going to promote it now bc its still in the first draft area. not near for me to even go thru revisions yet. i may never-#-promote it on here. i dont want to annoy people with suddenly changing tracks. and i def wont transform this blog into a self promo for me-#-thats never going to happen! i would make another blog for it but for now everything’s just an idea!#i just wanted to say thank you because this has been giving me so much anxiety especially since graduating high school. the problems of—#—trying to be an author have become more pressing and immediate for me. i hope it will happen one day but who knows #you guys give me confidence though. and i literally cannot thank u guys enough (I HATEEEEE THE CAREER ANXIETY)#not riordanverse #not incorrect either #for followers #rewriting #sorry for the whole essay in the tags ☠️

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stinkrascal · 9 months

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the whole idea of “if they dont ever text you first its because they dont care” makes me so sad bc it is the complete opposite for me. i care about u guys so much, but im riddled w anxiety so every time i attempt to msg someone first i get insecure and scared that im wasting yalls time by saying something dumb, so im like oh well i care about this person’s time a lot and i dont wanna bother them ever so i wont msg them bc i only have dumb, unimportant things to say, i’ll just wait for when theyre ready to talk to me bc that way i won’t be wasting their time, bc they will have reached out to me first. but then it seems like i dont care about them and it sucks!! i really need to get over this fear and msg ppl first. just know ily all and im not ignoring you im just painfully anxious to the point where i cant function. but ily ily ily

#im gonna try to msg ppl first more #i just get so nervous about it like seriously so bad #i care about u guys so much though #this is a vaguepost. i love you 🫵🏻

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prototypelq · 5 months

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Divinity Original Sin 2 has spoiled me

I’ve played my fair share of this wonderful game before, but this year’s BG3 hype had my interest pique again, so I’ve given it another go (this time with mods, which I’ve definitely spent too much time learning how to install and make work together). And boy, oh boy, this game might just have spoiled the RPG’s for me forever.

First of all, this game has no class system. While the character creator offers you some options to choose from, those are just pretty suggestions for the beginning of the game, and even those beginner’s setups are very creative. For example, the Inquisitor preset offers you options from the Necromancy and Warfrare skilltrees (Warfare is focused on dealing physical damage, and the Necromancer has an array of ranged magic and skills to stay alive in battle longer), or a Shadowblade preset, which offers you skills from Scoundrel and Polymorph trees (Scoundrel is your rogue build skills focused on backstabbing, and Polymorph offers you abilities to morph your body into different animal-themed parts, like Chamelon Skin spell which will, predictably, make you invisible). You also, obviously, have more typical options like Enchanter (lightning abilities from Aerotheurge tree and water spells from Hydrosophist) or a Fighter (Warfrare plus armour buffs from Geomancer tree), and they are no less effective than the previously mentioned more exotic combinations.

The character-building, combined with clever enemy AI in this game makes the build-creation process extremely robust. For example, the standard Tank-Healer-DamageDealer holy triad is completely useless in this game, as the AI is clever enough to ignore the characters with the most HP and go for the low-health targets first. This simple change completely breaks the standard mould, and now the best strategy you can have is either outdamage your enemies, or dictate your own rules over the battlefield to control them.

The diversity in building is only intensified by the skills inside different trees, because almost every skilltree in this game will have its own abilities for healing, crowd control and movement. Huntsman (the ranged bow skilltree) tree has Tactical Retreat, Warfrare has Phoenix Dive, Aerotheurge has Teleport, Polymorph has Wings – all of these abilities serve the same function of assuming a better position for your character on the battlefield (which is critical in this game). This means that specializing into any skilltree will also grant you access to a lot of self-sustaining abilities and options. Plus, levelling up any skilltree will grant you additional perks, like levelling up Necromancer will give you bonus % of healing from all the damage you deal (which is an awesome trait for ANY character build really), levelling Hydrosophist will give you a bonus to all the healing and magic armour restoration you receive, or the Huntsman levels give you a damage bonus if you're on the high ground, which is great for ranged units of any kind, so there is incentive to spend some levels on those skilltrees even if you aren’t really using any skills from them. Which destroyes the rpg-triad even further.

(my mage gets shamed by the party, because she is the only one without points in Polymorph for the Wings ability, she makes do with the Huntsman's Tactical Retreat instead, because she needs the high ground damage boost)

For example, the Warfrare tree, which is crucial for any close-range build, has a lot of abilities to control your enemies, because they can Knock Down enemies with their first-level skills from the get-go, and this means the enemy loses their turn on that round of combat. Now your typical damage-warrior is actually your second-best source of crowd control abilities, and not just a monkey with a club. While your ranged-mage builds will be controlling one, two at best character from their range, your properly positioned melee fighter can make an entire crowd of enemies lose their turn. And getting your enemies to lose a turn is the only thing better than doing massive damage to them, in time you will learn how to do both and it’s great fun.

Speaking of what works wonderfully in this game, it’s time to mention the elemental system! I don’t think I’ve played Big RPG Game with an elemental system as robust as the one DOS2 has. I believe someone on the Noclip Podcast mentioned how, each battle in this game feels like it’s not just a battle against different enemies and their damage numbers, but it is also a battle for the terrain that you control. So I guess, this makes DOS2 a Splatoon predecessor?...Moving on.

For example, in the first act of the game you will stumble upon an ambush from a bunch of skeletons, problem is – there are Poison puddles all over the place. And DOS2 skeletons have ‘reverse’ healing mechanic, which means they will get damaged by normal healing spells, but they do receive healing from poison. It means that fighting skeletons with a party of not-undead/living characters can be much fun, as you can constantly cast chain healing, or Bless a big water surface to heal your party, and if the spell jumps to the undead they will be damaged constantly. The Rain spell is, arguably, the most important spell in the entire game, and it is crucial to keeping control of the elemental battlefield.

Rain will create a big water surface, and which you can use to your advantage – freeze it with Global Cooling and isolate your enemies, because walking on Icy surface can and will make them (and you) slip and fall if they try to move, and they will lose their turn.

You’re playing Lone Wolf (=solo buffed character, without companions) and YOU’RE the undead? Cast Rain and Contamination and convert the entire battlefield into a poisonous swamp that will heal you.

You’re not undead? Well, blow that poison basin with any Pyrokinetic skill and watch everything standing in it get converted into ash by the resulting explosion! The battlefield is already on fire? Add some more by creating an Oily surface with Geomancer skills to have it instantly blow up in your enemy’s face. Having trouble with your battlefield Constantly Being On Fire and losing heath fast? Reset the battlefield with Rain and create a cover for everyone, as the resulting Smoke will make it impossible to target anything farther than touch-range skills.

Blood is also a surface in this game, and extremely powerful at that. Every attack that damages the character’s health directly (meaning it bypasses their physical and/or magic armor or they have none left) creates a blood puddle under them, which you can also use.

This surface-elemental madness can also be improved upon with mods made by the community, the most noticeable example here would be Odinblade’s skilltree reworks, which rebalance the original skills a lot and add a lot of very fun additional ones. For example, the Aerotheurge tree gets an additional Conductive debuff to place on your enemies, which will increase all the lightning damage they get and will spread any electric damage to enemies around them, or the Necromancy tree gets a Hex bonus damage dealt to any enemy if their magic armour is gone. Etc, etc, please install Odinblade’s mods they level up the gameplay to new hights.

I’ll also admit here that, while I’ve spent a lot of hours in this game, and was quite invested in the story of my companions and the main quest, it’s…not the best way to play the game. Don’t play this game for story. The story is very good when it gets going, but it will be spread like extremely uneven butter of maybe 2-3 final hours over a 20+ hours of each Act as your bread. Play this game for the extremely versatile gameplay and the amazing systemic nature of it, then exploit the game to hell and back.

Sneak into an arena of magic golems and pickpocket their energy cores, so they die immediately. Use Surface transmutation to move a bunch of lava to a boss arena and place it under his feet to kill it instantly. Talk to a turtle in a dungeon, to learn that she is in love with her neighbor – a rat, and find a way to bring them together. Equip a new ring, only to find out it’s cursed, it sets debuffs on you, you cannot unequip it as it became smaller around the finger and search for a solution.

This game is about finding clever and funny ways to solve problems/quests, and that is super fun to do in DOS2. Also, really, the elemental and class-less rpg system of this game spoiled me so hard, I think I might have some trouble in the future adapting to another class-based rpg game after this xD. Anyway, talk to animals, upgrade your persuasion and take Beast into your party, he is hilarious.

#wheeeeee finally done this post #like I have games i want to play but instead i suddenly spent what around 70 hours into dos2???#no regrets #guys i love the magic system of dos2 so much #seriously dos2 is great check it out if rpgs interest you in any way shape or form #(gently holds your hand) isometric view is not that bad I will guide you through to acclimate to it easier let's go #im super glad i revisited it with mods too! modding my beloved I will shape the game to highlight my favourite parts in it #this is not my code but the game is my copy and my playground xD #dos2 #divinity original sin 2 #beast is the best companion i take no criticism #sebille is second best she's a great murder elf bff #lohse is the top player character pick her lines Rule #larian studios

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