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#like a trans man was murdered and we now know the attacker knew he was a trans man
genderkoolaid · 2 years
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There's news about Malte. Apparently when he went in to calm down the situation the perpetrator recognized him as trans and threw transphobic insults towards him before punching. He's now in custody.
I fucking knew this was a transphobic attack. I'm so fucking angry
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From the article linked in the German tweet (translated by Google translate, I'm gonna get my friend to check it later):
Malte C., also a CSD participant, got involved according to FOCUS online information. "Where's the problem?" The transman tried in vain to calm the situation down. According to the investigation, Nuradi A. and his companion are said to have freaked out further and insulted the twenty-something. According to the tenor, he wasn't a man at all because he was transsexual. Without further hesitation, the migrant from the Russian Federation struck Malte C. and immediately sent a second, targeted punch. The victim fell unconscious on the back of his head on the asphalt. The thug and his buddy then fled.
So we were fucking right. He was murdered for being a trans man. Malte was recognized as a trans man and he was killed for it. Never let this be forgotten; Malte C. was murdered for being a trans man defending other queer people.
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dogboyjackkennedy · 3 months
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so, because i'm considering making a comic about The Prologue of Dsaf (basically, everything that happened pre-Dsaf 1, as well as maybe a little bit into the beginning of Dsaf 1), at least my headcanons for it, i thought i'd just list a few in text form, 'cause some of them might not be too clear whenever i get this comic made:
Dee's hair is darker than Jack's, and Peter's is darker than Dee. all of their hair colors are a different shade of red/ginger.
Peter moved out of Jack and Dee's house when he got engaged to Caroline.
Dee is quite literally just as chaotic as Jack is. makes sense, given he was the one she was around the most.
Jack told Dee that if anyone was being a dick to her (or was, in any way, trying to seriously hurt her), she could just bite them. maybe also scratch them like a cat. yes, Jack did (and still does, kinda) bite people. why do you think he taught her how to do that?
so, i've mentioned a couple of times how Jack is a trans man. he had a nickname, "Jackie," which was uh. a shortened version of his deadname. technically, he was only fully comfortable with Dee, Peter, and Caroline calling him that, but he didn't really protest when his employers/coworkers would call him that, and would even encourage them to do so, because, in his eyes, it's better than being referred to by his deadname.
Jack got a job at Fredbear's as a technician and nightguard when Peter moved out, a few months before Dee's murder.
Henry was actually the first employer of Jack's who both actually called him "Jack" and referred to him as a guy. Jack, at the time, viewed this as a good sign that this job would work out perfectly fine.
Jack and Dave actually talked a few times and would ""jokingly"" flirt with each other. this may or may not have also been the thing that got both of them to realize that they aren't straight.
Jack actually bought Dee a small stuffed kitten as a birthday present, a little red bow wrapped around its neck. nowadays, he uses it as a reminder of who he's doing all of this for.
Dee understood that Jack and Peter had to work so much to support her, but it still made her sad :(
neither Jack nor Peter were going to be able to be with Dee for her birthday due to work, so they both decided to schedule a birthday party for her at Fredbear's, so that she could still have a good day :]
Jack dropped her off, promised he'd be back at around six, and that they could even have a little birthday celebration at home that night before Jack had to leave for work. he'd even bring chocolate cupcakes, her favorite! he kisses her head, tells her goodbye, and then leaves. i believe we all know the rest from there.
Jack, on the night he died, wanted to check the cameras to see if there was any footage of Dee or the other children before they went missing. sure enough, there was.
also that night, before Jack went to do his job, he noticed a visible bite mark, as well as scratches, on Henry's arm. upon pointing it out, Henry tried lying and claiming that he just simply got attacked by a dog. Jack, a dog owner himself, told Henry he didn't believe him; he knows what a dog bite looks like, after all.
(looks like Dee took his advice, doesn't it?)
look, when i say that The Real Fredbear assigned Jack to be a partial dogboy, i'm not joking. he's got dog teeth now, he can literally make dog sounds (may or may not be based off of the Confusing Ending for Dsaf 2), he's got paw pads (kinda), he has claws. like, he might not have ears or a tail, but trust me: he's kinda sorta part dog now.
Henry: "So you see, William, I have the guy right here-" (suit is incredibly fucking empty, almost like nothing was ever in there to begin with) Henry: "..." William: "So...where's he at? Did you move 'im-?" Henry: "Fuck."
Peter blames Jack in the sense of "Why weren't you there to protect her?" the only reason Peter didn't let Jack stay with him was because he knew the police would be looking for him.
Jack scratched the word "LIAR" into Henry's car, and smashed the glass.
Peter may or may not have sued to clear his brother's name. and he did it by using the undeniable evidence of: JACK'S LITERAL BOSS SAYING THAT HE WAS WORKING THAT DAY AND COULDN'T HAVE COMMITTED THE MURDER. SERIOUSLY, HE SAW THE GUY WORKING NONSTOP ALL DAY HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK WOULD HE HAVE SOMEHOW SLIPPED AWAY TO COMMIT AN ACTUAL MURDER-
Peter began to suspect that Henry was hiding something. he got a job at a Freddy's location to get close enough to Henry to get the man to spill the beans. unfortunately, he died before that could happen.
however, what he witnessed on the day of his death...it did make him realize that Henry wasn't just hiding something: he was the motherfucker that killed Dee and tried to frame his brother.
Peter died having finally learned the truth...and then immediately had his memory wiped-
Jack and Henry nearly crossed paths several times. it's lucky for Henry that they never did, though; because Jack wanted to rip that fucker apart himself, consequences be damned.
i already have. another post talking about Blackjack specifically. go see that for details.
pretty much all of the Kennedy siblings after they died: FUCK Henry, all of my homies HATE Henry!!
that's about it for now. this is all stuff PRE-Dsaf 1. who knows when i'll get the beginning of the comic finished, but i'll try and work on it later. enjoy the headcanons in the meantime. :]
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transmascrage · 2 years
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"I'm sorry transmen but you're not men. You are small, soft, weak and slow. Maybe that testosterone has given you the confidence of a man, and the willingness to engage in risky behavior, but its not going to magically give you the strength of a real male."
"What? They killed the TIF for being a TIF? Not for getting in the way of their murderous intent? You know what, if any phobia was in play in this poor person's death, it was still homophobia. I doubt the killer even knew the difference between the lesbian couple and the mannish female who tried to save them."
"The only lives threatened by this male were female and the peanut gallery has the audacity to blame TERFs and say that the TIF was targeted for being trans? Am I getting this right? The killer treated his victim as the female she was, to males it doesn't matter what you identify as. So it's misogyny all the way down"
"Note this poor TIF wasn't the target- she unfortunately became the target when she blocked a raging male from his original target: the lesbian couple.
And whaddaya know, her identity and hormone treatments did not put her on even footing with a true male in terms of strength. A violent man killed her in one punch. It actually wouldn't surprise me if her body was even more fragile, unable to survive an injury like that.
This wasn't a transphobic attack. The guy was after a pair of lesbians. Had she been dressed in traditional women's clothes he would have punched her for being in his way."
"A decade ago this would have simply been a lesbian standing up for her lesbian friends, and no one on the planet would have reported it or given a shit. Now the trans crop gives people an way to twist this into a reason bash women, so they're all over it.
Where is the evidence that "transphobia" had anything to do with it though? Men beat up other men all the time. Would they rather the attacked stop and say "I'm not going to hit you because you're obviously a woman", wouldn't that actually be the transphobic course of action?"
I have no fucking words. Apparently even though TERFs love women sooooo much, it's more important to dunk on "her" death and those dumb TRAs, instead of showing some fucking respect for the man who died to protect two lesbians.
Not that we'd want their fucking compassion. But still. Disgusting.
Note the narrative that apparently not only are we soft and weak, testosterone makes us weaker than anyone else.
We also don't know if Malte had any medical conditions, so speculating on whether "his bones were more fragile than a cis maiden's because of the testosterone" (or if they were at all) is super inappropriate.
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coming out headcanons with c!Technoblade
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Warnings: cursing
Pairing: c!Technoblade x ftm!Reader
request from @pxytn-png! lovely idea btw, and also thank you for being the reason i fixed my anon issue lmao thanks for bringing that to my attention mate :) ty for the ask!
quick disclaimer before we start here: i am not trans ftm, so i cannot speak for the community and i hope i am not poorly representing all of you bois! y’all are literally so fucking valid tho like the MOST valid i sWEAR dudes, deadass. if there’s something i need to educate myself on, my inbox and dms are ALWAYS open, so please feel free to interact!
- when you came up to him one day in a cold sweat with uneven breaths, Techno immediately knew something was up. he immediately asked you what was wrong, ready to go murder whoever he had to for you, and the voices were going CRAZY with their theories and stress and worry for you
- you told him you had something to tell him, and he internally freaked out because the dumbass thought you were going to leave him or something or say you didn’t love him anymore
- blame the voices tho! they stress him out and make him overthink everything more than he already would! 
- once you came out in your way of choice, he was so relieved that you didn’t come to tell him you hated him
- and he was also so flattered and felt so loved that you felt secure enough to be more of your true self around him! the voices were flattered and happy too!
- “so, you’re a man, huh?” “yeah...” he looked at you for a moment before grinning widely, pulling you into the PHATTEST fuckin hug. “trust me, he/him just suits you better, it’s more you.” 
- the voices most certainly agree! after all, it was the true you, it was what made you feel more comfortable in your own skin.
- as he started working on your pronoun change, the voices helped out quite a lot. if he even so much as got close to even thinking the slip-up of the wrong pronouns, the voices were fuckin ON IT man. he learned pretty quickly, wanted to make you the most comfortable he could!
- every time he said ‘he’ or ‘him’ in reference to you, he couldn’t help but smile. it just reminded him that you felt secure enough to be your true self around him and that you trusted him enough to come out to him
- although he had to admit, it did lead to a little bit of confusion
- “so, that makes me... gay? or wait... well either way, i know i’m attracted to dudes obviously...”
- “do i tell Philza that i’m gay now or do i wait until Y/n decides to open up to him about himself?”
- lowkey steals clothing from other guys around the smp so you can dress more masculine if you want to. he’d offer up some of his own clothes, but he is like a seven-foot-tall fuckin piglin hybrid, massive boi, so he wasn’t sure how well his clothes would fit you
- unless you yourself are a massive boi as well, in that case he’s fine with sharing some clothes! i mean, he’d be fine with sharing either way, but like he was a firm believer in wearing clothes that fit properly so one wouldn’t have even the slightest limitation in mobility for battle 
- but if he got the opportunity to see one of his large shirts draped on his boyfriend, he might just have a heart attack
- would also have a heart attack seeing his boyfriend fitting into his shirt well and just like b r o 
- deadass would die on the spot either way, he loves you so much bro like oasijgadsoigj 
- blood god is soft for his boyfriend! so soft!
- would never admit it out loud, but the voices know and never let him forget how much of a sap he is for you 
- would help you try various things to cope with any dysphoria you might be having, like deadass mans would go to hell and back to get you anything that would make you more comfortable in your own skin. anything safe for you, that is, he wanted to make sure you weren’t hurting yourself
- s i m p, he’s a simp your honour, s to the i to the m to the p 
- overall, having you come out to him and having a boyfriend now took a little bit of getting used to but it was an amazing change (the word ‘change’ used lightly, because it wasn’t even much of a change at all. just a pronoun change bro, you’ve always been a man, the only change was that you felt secure enough with techno to tell him ^^)
- not only were you more yourself, but he got to know you that much more, and when you’re your true self around him is when he just falls in love with you more and more each day <3
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antiterf · 3 years
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Hi again, same anon that sent the "I almost got murdered" ask. Small update on that situation, things are slowly getting better now, especially since I've been standing up to my mom a lot more and establishing my independence. I ended up dropping out of that school and switching to online entirely before covid because of racism, transphobia and unfair treatment so the girl that tried getting me killed wasn't able to interact with me much anymore (ended up going back to public school for a semester, nearly outed by my principal cus he was a...a predator 🤢 so I went back to online again). She did send me death threats on insta and stuff and did say stuff like "I'm gonna get you arrested for assault (false r-word claims in disturbing graphic detail and I'm native american and she's white s o you can imagine how that would've went-) you're not being fair to me. You don't care about my feelings." And a whole lotta bullshit claims of misogyny and internalized sexism cus I'd prefer to date a man (although I am bi) as well as identify as one atleast part of the time??? And I shut that shit down, said "You're right I don't care." and ended up blocking her ass so I haven't dealt with her since!
Nearly murdered anon once again I JUST remembered another experience with a terf I had AFTER that. Because apparently terfs don't think their behavior can be taken this far except in "special cases"
So I had a girlfriend for quite a bit, she was nice at first n shit but I knew she hung out in terf circles. Then I came out as trans. That's when the abuse actually started, she'd misgender me if I didn't do something she wanted knowing it'd give me a panic attack and put me at risk of self harm, she'd call me "a scared little girl who'd never be a man" when I pissed her off for god knows what reason, she'd misgender me when I was gushing about an attractive guy I saw but would get mad at me when I'd get even slightly jealous about her talking about how badly she wanted to rail her girl best friend when she'd NEVER talked about me that fondly. She'd demonize mlm attraction while gushing about wlw attraction constantly and try to "untrans" me when we were being sexual together. I'm not dating her now luckily (I have two v lovely bfs) but she still tries to pop up harassing me and insisting I'm a girl cus of my biology n shit and saying my boyfriends (both of which are trans as well but she doesn't know that-) would never see me as a dude or genderfluid. So yeah terfs encouraging this behavior in younger teenage girls in their community is a shitshow because these girls take that behavior to an EXTREME and entitlement driven level because the terf community doesn't specify any boundaries for this until they have to take accountability for encouraging this idiocy.
Imagine doing that shit to someone you think you like out of all things. I would hate to see the way she acts to people she doesn’t care about or god forbid hates.
Terfs honestly feel like they have a right to go up to a trans person and say anything if they won’t get caught for it. If anything when it comes to relationships like these I’ve seen telling parents and trying to convince them otherwise to be encouraged. They treat the person who has a trans friend like they’re a victim more than anything.
I’m sorry your ex treated you that way after you came out though, I’d be incredibly terrified of dating afterwards if that was my first experience. 
I hate when people decide that it’s okay to misgender or deadname a trans person when they’re pissed at them. Especially when they do it for small things like not taking out the trash or forgetting something.
The sexual thing is just god awful. I don’t know if you go through this but I’m more likely to get dysphoric during sex. There was one time where I was having sex and my partner fucked up and misgendered me and I started to feel sickly. So I don’t want to think about how it would be if someone was trying to actually get me to identify as cis again during sex.
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flying-nightwing · 3 years
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Double Cross (Jason Todd)
Hi people! So this is my little project I was talking about. A sudden blurb of inspiration led me to this and uh. Here it is! Once again, this is super experimental so yeah idk about its potential. You’ll be the judge of that I guess
This time I worked on time jumps back and forth and perspectives, so let me know how it turned out!
Masterlist in bio/pinned!
Pairing: Jason Todd x gender neutral!reader
Word count: 6937
Warnings: swearing, uhhh idk it’s dc so you know what you’re into 
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-- 36 hours ago --
Your heart was beating hard against your ribcage as you flew down Washington DC's streets. Your motorcycle was burning under you, and you had a feeling you were on the clock to get off of this ticking time bomb before it exploded and brought you down with it. The bullet holes broke the black paint, decorating your bike in a way that flagged unwanted attention. About six blocks ago, unmarked cars had joined your fast paced parade across the city.
A terrible mistake, all of this was. That was certain. 
You took a sharp right, your knee scraping on the asphalt on the way. An infernal noise came out of your bike, but you still willed it to accelerate on the straight alley. You shot back on the main roads like a bullet, swerving around the black police car that had tried to cut you off. But soon enough, you saw the blockade on the street in front of you. You could never jump it with your bike so in disarray, and there were no viable alleys to sneak into. You shut your eyes tight for a moment, then exhaled.
"I'm sorry Jason" You muttered to yourself. "But you left me no choice"
With a firm grip, you pressed the brakes and came to a stop a fair distance from the blockade. You turned off your bike and kicked the foot to hold it up, slowly getting off and pulling your hands up. Shouts erupted around you as the police mobilised themselves in tight formations, guns up and ready to shoot. With one hand up, you undid your tinted black helmet and let it fall to the ground. 
"On your knees!" An officer shouted as he approached. "Keep your hands where I can see them"
You complied.
-- Now --
The white of the neons glaring down on you made your already tired eyes hurt, saturating your vision with a harsh and constant flash of light. You were left alone with a room temperature glass of water on your left and your own reflection on your right. You couldn’t hear them, but you knew they were there, observing you. Instead, all you could see was the dark bags under your eyes and your messy greasy hair. 
You perked up when two men in suits came in by the door in front of you, thin files in their hands and calculating glances. They were nicely dressed, one with a gray suit and the other, black. Both suits were obviously tailored to them. They sat down in front of you and observed you before the one in the gray suit spoke. Dark hair, blue eyes, taller than the other, maybe around six feet.
“Good morning, Agent”
You only nodded, looking down to the table. 
“My name is Agent Baker,” He said. “My colleague here is Agent Tanev. We will proceed to your debriefing”
“Sure” You nodded again.
Agent Baker set a recording device on the desk and turned it on. “Please tell us again why you are here today”
“I am--” You paused, clearing your throat. “I am here today to deliver crucial information on a wanted criminal in exchange for a pardon” 
“Which wanted criminal should that be?”
“The Red Hood” You said, meeting his eyes. “I have names of associates, safe houses locations, frequent territories of operation as well as his specific m.o.”
“How come you know all of this?” He asked, his voice neutral. “No seasoned agent has ever managed to get this close to him, let alone a rookie. We want to know how you gained his trust, start from the beginning, spare no details. Leave nothing out”
“I met the Red Hood during operation 7381 in northern Lithuania” You began as Agent Tanev started to take notes. “I was in the back up team for the extraction of General Kradiev from a local opposant group. I wasn’t supposed to even see action, as it should have been simple enough against an untrained mob, but when is it ever…”
They had known you were coming. A whole grab and go operation had been compromised by the feeling of invincibility of the CIA, that looked down so much on whoever they went against that they never stopped to think that maybe--maybe--they were prepared.
So when the Alpha team stormed the country house where the General was supposed to be kept and found it empty, all action plans were thrown out the window. The Beta team was mobilised to close off all the roads surrounding the area and to search for the hostage. You were ordered to search a single decaying house in between two pine trees because the structure was so old, so  nobody could have ever been hiding in its debris. However, as you were leaving, you heard whimpers coming from the cellar a few feet away from the foundations. Carefully, you made your way to the wooden doors on the ground, and after making sure your magazine was full and the safe of your semi automatic off, you kicked the doors open and raced down the stairs.
“Don’t move or I’ll blow your head off” You yelled, pointing your gun at the first person you saw. It was clearly a man, wearing a bright red helmet that shone under the single lightbulb hanging down from the ceiling. He slowly held up his hands, but he didn’t seem so bothered. Your eyes found another man next, tied to a chair and wearing a bag on his head. The military uniform was a dead giveaway of his identity, so you returned your full attention to the red helmet guy. “You’re going to back up and face the wall now”
“Or what?” He challenged. “You’ll ‘blow my head off’?”
“Shut up!” You barked, taking a step forward. Your firearm was ready to shoot. “Do as I fucking say”
“You’re CIA uh?” He changed the subject, looking down at your marked bulletproof vest and not listening to you. In fact, he didn’t seem worried at all by the situation he was in. “Should have known. You guys have never cared who lived or died. What fucking difference does it make, as long as they’re good pals with the good ol’ US of A right?”
“God would you just fucking shut up and back up” You were getting impatient, but also nervous. You were alone without backup, with a guy in a red helmet who was clearly taunting you, and you had never shot anyone before. It was your first oversea mission, and already it was fucking catastrophic.
“See, that’s the thing” He held a finger up. “You’re pointing a gun at me like I’m the bad guy, while you are trying to rescue the scum of humanity. You’re going to extract him, give him a nice long life on Florida’s golf courses with the taxpayers' money and wipe out from History the mass graves in the woods two miles away”
You remained silent.
“Oh, did you not know about the mass graves?” He asked rhetorically in a mocking tone. “Your friend here decided he wanted to test the new shipment of automatic weapons, because their bullets per minute capacity had been expanded. And what better targets than the group of students that opposed the american military presence in the country? The youngest was 16 and her name was Vera Beliskava. Isn’t that right, Kradiev?”
He pulled the hood from the general to reveal his bloodied and bruised face. He had been gagged and beaten, that was obvious. He looked at you, pleading. 
“You’re the only one who saw” The man in red said, softer this time. “You don’t have to save that piece of trash. Just say your search came up empty and I’ll make him disappear from the Earth's face permanently without leaving so much as a trace. Nobody else will know, and you will go to sleep knowing you made the world a better place”
You took a breath, a million thoughts running into your head. Who was that guy? Why was he here? Why did he not attack you, while he clearly had a handgun strapped on his thigh? Could he be right about Kradiev? You knew he didn’t have the cleanest record concerning human rights, but mass graves? 
“Beta team, report”
You both froze as your comm broke the silence. He gave you a challenging look as you were still debating. You wanted to do good, that’s why you went into the secret services. Being complicit in mass murder wasn’t something you signed up on. 
“Nothing to report on the north road”
“Clear in the valley”
“Farmer’s house empty”
“No traffic on the south road”
You knew it was your turn now. Slowly, you reached for your comm, not breaking eye contact.
“Pinetree house’s clear” You spoke in a flat line, decided and direct as you lowered your gun. You shut down your comm and glanced at Kradiev, whose relief morphed into fear once again as your decision registered. You averted your eyes. 
“You made the right choice”
“I hope so, or I’m dead” You mumbled. “I’m going back now. Don’t make me regret my decision”
“You won’t”
“So just to be clear,” Agent Baker frowned. “You just… Believed him? And you let General Kradiev in his hands?”
“When I left, I went to check, and the graves were there. Kradiev was guilty”
“That was not your decision to make” He pointed out.
“I know” You sighed. “That was my first mistake. I-- I lost it for a moment. He mentioned the graves and the victims and there were so many people the same age as them I could think about and I decided with my feelings rather than my judgement. And I’m paying the price today”
“Alright” He mumbled, passing a hand on his face like he was already done with this debriefing. “When did you cross paths with him again?”
“We were back in America” You continued. “By that time, I was no longer on training wheels. It was a little more than a year later, in Newport Oregon during operation 9004. We were busting a trans pacific drug dealer on the docks when we got unexpected company…”
You were running as well as you could through the maze of freight containers on the docks, trying to push back the pain of the bullet in your leg. You had drawn the fire of the hired gang so your colleagues could proceed, but things went down the drain when you were met with heavier fire than the briefing stated. Outnumbered and outran, you stopped in your tracks and closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. You wouldn’t go out as a coward, that was certain. If you went down, you’d take as many of them as you could with you. 
You reopened your eyes and checked the magazine of your gun, letting it drop on the ground and pushing a full one in. You loaded and clicked the safe off, flexing your fingers on the handle as footsteps surrounded you. You spun around and pulled the trigger, but before the bullet even reached your target, two men dropped on his side. 
You weren’t the only shooter. 
Thinking it was backup from your team, you allowed yourself to back up against a container, trying to stop the bleeding. You were starting to feel light headed, but you still had a bit more fight in you. Soon enough, all hostiles were down, and you were in for a surprise. Instead of the black uniform of your colleagues, you looked up to a red bat, a leather jacket and a familiar red helmet. You squinted your eyes and let out a chuckle of disbelief.
“Do I even wanna know?” You asked.
“I owed you one” He shrugged. “You okay?”
You looked down to your leg, your pants soaked in blood that was already cooling, then back up again. “Peachy” You gave him a thumbs up. “You were right about Kradiev. He was a fucking trash bag”
“It’s often the case” He said as he rested his hands on his hips. 
“You here for Hiko?”
“Yep” He nodded, then snorted derisively. “Any tips?”
Ever since Kradiev, you have developed a habit of researching your target better. Most of the time, it was a capture or an execution on site, so it didn’t matter the extent of their crimes. But there were moments when you were extracting the package without knowing what came next, and those times usually meant they’ll make them disappear under a new identity, without giving them any repercussion for their actions. This one, Hiko, was the later case, without any plan revealed for when you get him back. He was a known drug trafficker, but he was also rumored to smuggle people back and forth between Asia and North America through the docks he owned. The Red Hood’s appearance was well timed, to say the least. 
“Sneak past the squad through the east” You panted. “If you can move on top of the containers without being seen or heard, you’ll cut them off with about two minutes to spare. Make sure you’re gone with Hiko when they bust through the door, or neither of us will ever find him again”
He paused, studying you. “Thanks…” He trailed off. “Why are you telling me this again?”
“Well, you said it yourself” You managed to smirk. “If I can go to sleep knowing I made the world a better place”
He didn’t answer with anything else but a quick nod before he climbed the containers and disappeared from your field of vision. You sighed, then reached for your comm. “Alpha 003 to central, I’m down and need medical attention, Northwest entry of the docks”
“So if I understand correctly, not only you let him go again,” Baker exhaled, looking bewildered. “But you told him how to get there first? You realize those are becoming serious crimes right?”
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t” You snapped, before recomposing yourself. Both agents had backed away just a little at your outburst. You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “Sorry. I’m just tired, it’s been a crazy last two days” 
“Did he offer you any medical help then?” Baker returned on topic. 
“No, I called the medics and I was extracted with the chopper” You replied. “I knew he was there for Hiko, not for me. It was a coincidence we crossed paths, and at that point I thought it was the last time I’d see him. I mean, what are the chances, right? But you see, that here was my second mistake”
“How so?”
“The CIA goes after threats to national security, but so does he, in his own way” You said, locking eyes with Baker. “The guy’s everywhere, even where we don’t go. And he’s at least three steps ahead of us at any turn. He has good funds, good intel and exceptional skills. You don’t find him, he finds you. And that’s what he did”
“He contacted you after the affair on the docks?” He raised an eyebrow.
“We could say that...”
You finished washing your tea cup when you heard a thud coming in from your living room. Slowly, you grabbed the gun hidden in your cupboard and held it up, quietly making your way to the next room. You rounded the corner and pointed your gun to the man standing with his back to you, registering his identity as he turned around. You must have been a sight in your baby pink pajama shorts and mismatching turquoise tank top, pointing your handgun to a man in a shiny red helmet. 
You scoffed and lowered your gun, clicking the safe back on and putting the firearm on the lamp table. “Breaking and entering, really?”
“Wouldn’t be the worst crime I’ve committed” He shrugged, and you could just imagine him rolling his eyes, whoever he was under that helmet. 
“What are you doing here?” You asked, crossing your arms against your chest. “How did you find me?”
“Like I find anyone” He answered like it was the simplest of evidence. You waited for him to continue, but he seemed to have no intention to reveal his methods. This time, you rolled your eyes. “And I’m here because I wanted to check on your leg”
“No you’re not” You snorted. He would have come months ago if it was about that, and even then, the little you knew about him told you he was not the kind to just check upon people who didn’t mean anything to him. “But I’m doing fine, thanks”
“You’re welcome” He nodded. “And you’re right. I need something from you”
“Well, go ahead, since you’re already in” You gestured at him to go on.
“Wait wait wait” Baker held his hand up. “He broke into your house and you just let him? You put your gun down and didn’t call anyone?”
“Yeah, that’s what I just said” You replied slowly. 
“And it never occured to you that he was dangerous?”
You paused, thinking your answer over. “No, it didn’t. I mean, if he wanted to get rid of me, he would have done it on the docks where I was an easy target”
“Fair point” Tanev muttered under his breath, earning him a glare from Baker. 
“Now do you want to know what happened or not?” You said, annoyed at the interruption.
“Please, go ahead”
He reached inside his jacket and handed you a file. You took it and opened it, staring at the picture and the description beside it. “This is Ian Markstrom, he has been suspected to kidnap young women, mostly tourists, to sell them on the sex trafficking market” He began. “Not only is he friends with your big bosses, but those who were brave enough to try and get him locked up never got anything to stick, and that was the best case scenario. The others either disappeared or ended up dead, so I’m assuming someone in this government does not want Markstrom to stop”
You nodded. “What can I do for you?”
“There’s a secret auction strictly reserved for the elite, Markstrom will sell his best teenagers there” He explained, a hint of disgust in his voice. “The CIA chief of operation received an invitation. I want to know what it says on the card”
“I’m not sure I’m good enough to reach anywhere near it” You mumbled. “But sure, I’ll try”
“No, I believe in you” He said, and he seemed pretty sure of himself. You raised an eyebrow to hide your surprise at his compliment. “What I’m wondering though, is why you’re not asking questions”
“Well, you are two in two so far about targeting the bad guy” You said after a moment. “You seem qualified to spot ‘em, and you’d be real twisted to to make up that scenario for a petty revenge, so I’m guessing you’re on the mark again”
“Huh. You might just be the only smart CIA agent I’ve ever met”
You snorted. “Well, the more it goes the more I’m questioning the integrity of my employer”
“You keep impressing me” 
“With what I saw, I believe the bar was pretty low to start with”
“Keep talking like this and I might need a cold shower”
“You’re an ass, you know that?” 
He let out a short bark of laughter. “If only you knew”
“I’ll do my best for the invitation” You brought him back on topic, closing the file and putting it beside your handgun. “How can I contact you if I get it?”
He paused, then took a step forward and grabbed your wrist. He fetched a pen from his jacket and wrote a number. “This is a burner phone, which I will destroy after this whole deal. Don’t try and trace me with that, it won’t end well for you”
“Yeah yeah” You rolled your eyes, pulling back your arm when he was done. You cleared your throat, trying to ignore his overwhelming proximity. “I gave you two fast passes just to trick you into seeking my help to finally bag you, I’m busted”
“Hey, listen” He backed up, holding his hand in surrender. “I make that threat to everyone. It’s only a disclosure thing, I didn’t doubt your motivation”
“To each their own I guess” You shrugged. “Alright. If this is all, please get out of my apartment”
“Oop, sure”
Baker blinked slowly. “And did you? Communicate him the details?”
“Yeah” You nodded. “I managed to get into the chief of operation’s office, break into his safe, memorize the date, time and place of the auction and communicate it to Red”
“Red?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Short for Red Hood” Tanev clarified, and judging by yet another glare from Baker, he wouldn’t speak anytime soon.  
“He kept it on the quiet, but after that the chief of operation did seem a changed man” You smirked, before dropping it instantly. “And I didn’t hear anything from Markstrom, it was like he disappeared for good, which he most likely did. So I guess the Red Hood succeeded in taking him down”
“Jesus Christ” He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Why do I have the feeling it wasn’t the last law you broke?”
“Because it wasn’t”
“Are you going to make a habit out of dropping out of nowhere to ask me for favors?”
This time, you knew who had broken into your property without even looking. You put the keys into your car and turned the engine on, trying to warm yourself. The Red Hood pulled himself upright from your backseat, shaking his head.
“Your car is very comfortable,” He declared. “You have good taste”
“So that means yes”
“Back at it again with your superior deduction skills” 
“What do you want?” You went straight to the point, but you were just a little amused. You could have a worst stalker. 
“I’ve been thinking this through,” He began, moved his legs so he was properly seated on the backseat. “You are skilled and you’ve got balls of steel. I could use your help more often. A partnership, if you might”
“Why do I have the feeling it took a lot to admit that and reach out?” 
“Because I don’t just trust people” He said plainly. “They disappoint me, among other things”
“So why me?”
“Like I said, skills and balls of steel” He repeated. “You went against the fucking CIA not once, not twice but thrice to do the right thing. That’s enough of a test of will for me. And besides, your job would be an advantage that is hard to turn away”
“Makes sense” You mumbled as you put the car in reverse and pulled out of the parking spot. He buckled his belt like it was a reflex. “Will this partnership imply me shooting bad guys?”
“If that’s what you wish for” He shrugged, leaning forward in the space between the two front seats. “I won’t be the one to limit you”
“Okay, yeah” You nodded. “Where do we start?”
Baker was looking into nothing, processing your words. He shook his head slowly in disbelief before he met your glance. “I shouldn’t be surprised” He spoke after a moment. “But this is Everest high levels of stupid”
“At that time it did seem like a good idea” 
“Yeah, might as well jump off of a bridge…” He trailed off, eying you suspiciously. “Did you do that too?”
“Well, if we consider the time when--”
“You know what, don’t tell me” He cut you off. “Please go on”
“Alright” You held your hands up in surrender. “So, where was I?”
You and the Red Hood operated on the field like a well oiled machine. Your expertise and contacts with the CIA helped him get into places way more easily than alone, and your somewhat reckless ways were compatible with his mode of operation. You knew who he was as well, you found out after he nonchalantly took off his helmet after a stakeout. You had not been prepared for what you saw then, when you were faced with what you could qualify with the most beautiful man you had ever seen. 
“Hey, you okay?” He waved a hand in your face, making you snap out your daze. You blinked a few times, shaking it off.
“Yeah” You replied. “I just wasn’t expecting this”
“Expecting what?”
“I mean, the helmet did give disfiguration vibes… Obviously I was wrong” 
“So you think I’m hot then?” He snorted derisively.
“I do” 
His head did a whiplash. “Huh?”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable” You backed away. “Sometimes my filter doesn’t work”
“No it’s--” He tried to find his words, then sighed. “I’m just not used to that, I guess”
“What’s the point of this?” Baker groaned, his head in his hands. 
“It’s a turning point that brought me here today” You explained, turning your palm up briefly. “You asked for details, I’m giving you details”
“I kinda wanna know what went down, to be honest” Tanev added sheepishly.
“Tanev, I’m going to drive you through the mirror if you do not shut up”
“Jeez sorry” He mumbled.
“As I was saying”
That day was the moment things changed in your relationship. There was this tension that hadn’t been there before, the little brushes of hands when you were side by side, the staring at the other while they weren’t looking, the unspoken invitations to stay a moment longer after a mission for a cigarette and a good conversation. He was one of a kind, you had to give that to him. He was passionate, driven, smart in a way that told you he never really had it easy but always made it work somehow; the way he always thought of the less obvious way to do things, how even his messes seemed calculated. 
It was raining in Chicago and the air was crisp. Your muscles ached from the fight in that warehouse against drug lords that enrolled kids in their schemes, that and from the unforgiving cold of January. You had one too many whiskeys back in that little studio flat he rented under a false name, and it led you straight to his bed. Trying to find warmth, trying to find a connection, it didn’t matter why, as long as you were as close as humanly possible to him. 
And it didn’t stop there. The night after, and the night after that, always in his company past the business hours. Your chemistry translated way beyond the field, for you found him in a partner in more ways than one. You grew quickly to feel love for him, more than you had ever felt for anyone. The number of times you woke up naked and tangled with him--
“Okay I don’t need to know this-- I do NOT need to know this” Baker yelled. If he could have flipped shit from the table, you’re sure he would have. 
“You told me to spare no details!” You argued. “This is a detail. I’m being as thorough as I can”
“You know what-- Forget it” He brushed his hand in the air aggressively. “Just get to the part we have interest in, for God’s sake please just skip to that”
“Okay, okay” You muttered, rolled your eyes. “It went well for the first months or so, it was great. Nothing to say on that front, I was happy and fulfilled in this new englobing partnership we had going on. That was my third mistake, to get into that kind of involvement with him. Because then, like all good things must come to an end, mine slowly began crumbling down in my hands”
“Okay” He sighed, half in relief. “Tell me more about that”
“Well, he started to show his true colors” You admitted, pulling your hands under the table. “Sometimes, he became something else. Something dark. And sometimes became most of the time, but I was too in love to see it. He became manipulative, controlling. He was everywhere, in everything I did. It’s like I didn’t even have control on my life anymore…”
“Where do you wanna eat?”
You looked away from the car window, your feet comfortably up on the dash. You took a deep breath and shrugged. “Dunno, where do you wanna eat?”
“Don’t really care” He shrugged too. “You decide”
“What about chipotle?”
“Sure” He nodded. “Chipotle sounds good”
Tanev shook his head sympathetically. “He wouldn’t even let you choose a restaurant?”
“Never” You looked down, sadness weighing your voice. 
“I’m so sorry you had to live through that”
“Thank you” 
“Alright, moving on” Baker broke the moment. “What happened next?”
“Next? Next came what comes every time in screwed up relationships” You answered, returning your hands on the table and crossing your fingers. “We burned like a meteorite as it tears through the atmosphere, falling to our demise to high velocity and taking everything in our wake”
“That was poetic” He pointed out sarcastically. “What the fuck does it mean?”
You raised an eyebrow. “We got dangerous for real, Agent Baker” You paused to take a reserved sip of the water. “If you thought I was reckless before, you’ll need to reevaluate your scale. I was in for real. I was his battle horse, his wildcard, his whatever that he needed to succeed. And I was good at it. The worst was, I didn’t even realize he used me as a smoke screen. He put me more and more often in fucked up situations that were way more dangerous for me than him, and I was naive enough to think it was love”
“No. This is not up for discussion”
You stared at him in disbelief. “You said you would let me choose--”
“I said I would let you choose, not let yourself get killed” He interrupted, slightly raising his voice. “This plan of yours is stupid dangerous. If it backfires, you are almost guaranteed of not making it out free, or alive for that matter. I’m not allowing you to take that risk. Not for me.”
“Again, ‘if’ being the keyword” You insisted, following him as he stomped out of the storage room. “I am capable of executing it flawlessly. I know I am, you’ve always told me I am”
He halted his steps, hesitantly turning to face you. His eyes softened as he sighed, taking your hand. “I know you can, it’s not about that” His voice was back down, even lower than his usual volume. “I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you for something I dragged you into in the first place, I would never forgive myself”
You closed your eyes and rested your forehead on his. “Okay” You finally said, nodding lightly. “We’ll find another way. Another plan. But we’re hitting that ball out of the park either way, I won’t let Preston get away with it”
He smiled. “Oh no, we won't indeed” He kissed the top of your head. “We’ll get him one way or another, I promise”
“I almost feel sorry for you now, Agent” Baker gulped. “I cannot begin to imagine what terrible things the Red Hood forced you to do under his manipulation. We however must continue this debriefing”
“Of course” You nodded quickly, breathing deeply. “So we planned our next move, but he wouldn’t tell me the final target. I found it weird, he always told me the targets. I don’t know, maybe he sensed I was trying to find a way out”
“And that plan was…”
“Yes” You didn’t have to let him finish his trailing thoughts, you knew what he was getting at. “So this brings us to 36 hours ago”
“Be as thorough as you can” 
“So the Red Hood gave me those instructions to follow” You began. “I was to draw the attention of the authorities to me in a city wide chase. Now, I am rather good with a bike, that I won’t hide, but outrunning police and secret services? That was impossible. I still don’t know how they got there, but it saved me. He would have never dared to come into the melee to get me back, and risk getting caught”
“Was he not afraid you’d talk to us?” Baker asked. “That was a pretty big gamble”
“He thought I wouldn’t talk I guess, probably for the same reasons I stayed with him for all this time” You said, biting the inside of your cheek until it bled. You hated to think about these words. “Because I believed I loved him”
“I guess that wouldn’t be too far fetched” He hummed. “Wouldn’t be the first time we saw it happen”
You nodded, remaining silent. Baker made eye contact with Tanev, then looked into the reflecting glass. He took a deep breath and returned his attention to you. 
“We are going to get you back to the holding cell while we process this information” He said. “But once we do that, you’ll be free, and with a new identity if you wish, as your agreement states”
“Thank you” 
“Just one more thing before we wrap this debriefing” He leaned forward. “You must know his name"
“Of course” 
“Then what is it?” He asked. “What is the Red Hood’s name?”
You looked down, taking a deep breath, then back again, locking eyes with Baker. Then, you spoke. 
-- 36 hours later --
The sunset over the valley was gorgeous. The mixes of pink and orange on the yellowed sky was straight out of a fantasy world, and Jason couldn’t help but appreciate the scenery. It was soothing, like it could swallow up his anxiety at least for a minute or two. He leaned on the wooden ramp, the sightseeing roadside station seeming not so cheesy at the moment.
He only tore his eyes from the burning sun when he heard a motorcycle approach from behind. He pushed himself off the ramp and faced the sleek black bike--the lack of use on it showing him it was brand new--then, the driver with a black tinted visor. 
You took off your helmet and smiled at Jason’s stern expression, whose eyes showed relief anyway. You turned off your bike and parked it, then got off and walked to him. 
“What the hell were you thinking?” 
You walked past him and leaned on the ramp he had been on moments ago, and he joined you. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and offered you one. He lit up both with his lighter, and you took a long draft before speaking. 
“A simple ‘thank you’ would suffice” You smirked, bumping your shoulder to his. “I did save your sweet ass, after all”
“I thought we agreed not to do that” He glanced at you sideways. His annoyance was also mixed with playful disbelief, like he both wanted to throw you off the cliff you were admiring the view from and do celebratory shots with you. 
“We did” You nodded, chuckling. “But circumstances changed. You weren’t out by the time I reached the monument, so I had to draw them away from you, or we would not be having this conversation. ”
“Still” He tilted his head to the side, before his head snapped in your direction. “Wait, did you call the secret services after yourself?”
You shrugged half heartedly. “Mayhaps” Your lips curved upward, while he shook his head. “I mean, it kinda was my fault too. I misplaced the bomb and it barely detonated. I had to flip to plan B, then they shot my bike. They had me surrounded, and my it was running low on life, so I skipped directly to plan fuck this”
“So you gave yourself up”
"Played the victim, pretended I wanted to exchange information on you for my freedom” You sighed, taking a drag of your cigarette. “None of which was relevant enough for them to even get close to you, worry not”
“They must have asked for a name” He hummed, now turning his full body toward you. “What did you tell them?”
“My grandpa’s name” You snorted. “He died two decades ago. Let me tell you, when they found out the last update on him was in the necrology of the 2001 Sunday paper, they were not happy campers”
“Then how did you get out?” He squinted his eyes.
“Oh, do not underestimate me, sweetheart” You grinned. “I’ve spent my whole career getting to know the buildings and the procedures for people like me. It was a piece of cake”
You were escorted out the interrogation room and into the small, yet cozy holding cell. You were on the clock, because the lies you’ve slipped into your story would unravel pretty quickly once they discovered that the name you gave them was a farce. Then, you wouldn’t be put in a minimal security room, but probably somewhere way less fun. 
“Hey wait” You called after the guard before he could close the cell door behind you. He paused his actions, waiting for you to speak up. “This wasn’t there last time”
He frowned and took a few steps into the cell, trying to spot over your shoulder whatever you were talking about. When he didn’t see it, he got closer and closer until he was all the way into the cell. “What wasn’t there before?” He asked, annoyed. 
You smiled. “You” 
With a quick jab of your elbow behind his head, he fell down unconscious on the floor. You grabbed his keycard and exited the cell, locking the guard in. You winked at the camera on the upper left corner of the hallway and made your way down to the garages as the alarms blared through the whole building. That meant it entered lockdown, closing all the escape routes. But you had your own fool proof plan.
Agent Baker began swearing when the hallway was plunged into the red glow of the lockdown alert. It hadn’t taken long for him to figure out you had led them in circles, and he had appeared a fool in front of his colleagues when he proudly revealed the name of a long deceased old man instead of anything tangible. He had been on his way to your cell when he realized the depth of this foolery, understanding you had been stalling them for this opportunity. 
“Sir, we are reporting engine noises in the garages”
“Fuck” Baker shouted, pushing the other man aside. Tanev was a step behind, his weapon drawn. They had stored your bike there, you must have gone back for it. “All units report to the garage, we’re having a break out. I repeat, all units to the garages”
They all flocked to the lower levels, ready to enforce the barrages at the doors and trap you with no exit. It was an excellent execution of emergency measures, but they definitely weren’t prepared for what came next. As they kicked the storage unit of your motorcycle, they came face to face with the bullet ridden bike with no driver in sight. Baker lowered his gun, squinting his eyes. Then, they widened comically as the dark smoke coming out of it and the strong smell of gasoline registered in his brain.
“Motherfucker” He spat. “Everybody out!” 
Seconds later, it exploded.
“You’re unbelievable” Jason scoffed, shaking his head. However, he now had a full blown grin to match yours. “I gotta give it to you though, blowing up your bike as a distraction was smart. Balls of fucking steel”
“Of course it was!” You replied, then reached in your pocket for your phone. “And it’s not even the best part, look”
You unlocked your phone and passed it to him, showing him your most recent picture of the CIA’s chief of operation dead with a letter opener through his neck. His eyes widened. “You got Preston?”
You turned around from your position, now leaning back on the ramp with your elbows resting on it. “The bike opened a window big enough for me to get the target” You said, finishing your cigarette and disposing of it in the ash bin on your right. “And with all those idiots guarding an empty garage, t’was easy enough”
“After all this time, you’re still impressing me” He nodded, holding up his fist. “Good fucking job”
You bumped your fist sideway with his, laughing at his baffled expression. The sky was getting darker and darker by the minute, but the air was still warm. You could hear the crickets in the high grass, and the silence was a peaceful one. You could admit that you had cut it close this time, that this gamble could have very well turned to shit, so you just took a moment to let the pressure slip away from your muscles, at least for now. You had the time to smoke another cigarette before you spoke.
“So now what?” You hummed, looking up to the bright stars above your head. “Markstrom’s ring is no more, and I’m pretty sure I not only lost my job by pulling that stunt, but also bought myself a ticket on at least three intelligence services’ most wanted list”
“Well, that’s nothing a good ol’ fake death can’t fix” He shrugged. “But until we find the right moment for your tragic public demise, I’m sure we can manage to find on our own some domestic assholes to beat up. What do you say?”
You met eyes with him, then raised your eyebrows. “I say let’s get to it”
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itisannak · 3 years
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V-A-L-N-T-Y-N-E (Calum Hood Fluff)
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Summary: Calum meets (Y/N) while shooting the music video for Valentine. Past relationships make it kind of difficult for them to be completely comfortable with each other. Past relationships, and the fact (Y/N) is trans. (Words: 8.4k) (Request)
My Uber leaves me right in front of the house that corresponds to the address the driver has been given. My day started with a delivery of fresh coffee and pastries to my door and then continued with an Uber hauling me straight to the client's door. It has been a while since I have done a house visit for a client, I am way past doing people's makeup for a living now, but the client seemed like a big deal; first, I was contacted by his management, then he called himself so we could talk about the aesthetic. And the money he offered for just a day's worth of working, really couldn't be turned down. To my understanding, this will be some sort of video production, so I can only hope for some extra exposure. I ring the bell, shifting my weight from leg to leg as I try to forget how heavy my makeup carrier is today. The door is answered by the man I talked to on FaceTime just a week ago. "Good morning, (Y/N). Come on in. Did you find the house with ease?" He asks, smiling charmingly. "Good morning. The driver didn't even have to look at the GPS to find the house. Thanks for the Uber and the breakfast, by the way. It was very kind of you." I walk into the house; the first thing I notice is how serene the house is, how quiet, how simplistic yet elegant. Then I notice the art-covered walls, the vibrant but subtle pieces that give character to the place without being too loud. I gotta admit, I am surprised by his taste. "No problem. Can I take that for you?" He asks me, pointing at the makeup carrier. "Do you mind if I carry it? The contains can be pretty fragile, I have to be careful." I comment and he nods. "Of course. Where do you want to set up?" He asks me. "Where do you want me to?" "Whenever you are comfortable to. I don't really know about the lighting you prefer." He states. "Can I see where you will be filming? It will help me get an understanding of what light you will be having." I ask and he nods. "Of course, follow me." He heads ahead, walking past the entrance and the kitchen until we are in the back of the house, heading towards the basement of it.
"It is pretty dark in here..." I say, suddenly turning a bit nervous. This could possibly end in a murder... I am in a stranger's house, heading toward a bad-lit basement, I have seen that shit in movies. "Sorry about that. We are going to film on a dark background, so we have covered the windows to avoid getting light in. We will have the filming lights open, of course. And if you need extra lighting, just let me know." He says, showing me the setup. There is another man in here, setting up the lights and camera. "This is Andy. He is my co-director for the day. Andy, this is (Y/N), the makeup artist." Ashton introduces us. The man stands up from crouching before the tripod, extending his hand for me to shake. "It is nice to meet you, (Y/N). I hope you enjoy working with us." "It is nice to meet you too. It has been nothing less of a treat this far." I smile, shaking his hand. "Ok, so. Where do you want to set up?" Ashton asks me. "I prefer here if it is ok. That way we get to see the makeup in the actual filming light and test how it shows on camera easily." I reply and Ashton claps his hands together. "Let's make that happen then. I will bring a table and a mirror for you. Will you need anything else to set up?" He asks me. "A chair and a bowl of water. I can help you carry all that here." "Oh, no. You don't have to. My friend is already here, he will help." Ashton assures me. "Ok then." I smile and move a bit away from the setting so I won't get in the way of Andy setting things up.
"Now, why didn't we move those things downstairs last night?" I hear chatter coming from the stairs. "Be careful here. One dent on the wall and I can kiss my deposit goodbye." "Ashton, you should stop riding my dick like that. A dent is fixable, and I wasn't even grazing the wall." The other man states. They make it down the stairs, caring a folded table and chair. "I am sorry if this was an inconvenience..." I mumble as Ashton unfolds the table. "Nonsense. Just grumps over there complaining for no reason. I am Calum." The man extends one hand. He has a very charming, warm smile, a full head of messy curls, and gives off cool guy vibes as he stands before me with one hand resting in his pocket. "I am (Y/N). Nice to meet you." I smile back at him. "I'll bring the bowl of water. (Y/N), please feel free to start setting up." Ashton announces, pointing at the table. "I better go bring the mirror." Calum says, pointing up the stairs. "Oh, no. You sit here, Hood. I nearly had a heart attack from you carrying a simple chair. I'll bring the mirror." Ashton groans, making Calum roll his eyes at the comment as Andy chuckles. "Ashton is a bit of a grump when stressed." Calum explains as I move to set up the makeup station. "Why is he stressed?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. "It's his first time directing. He wants this to work." "I thought he was a director... He was so confident about this project." I state. "No, he is a drummer. But always had an eye for photography and videography. He has a truly artistic vein in him." Calum chuckles. "Wait... Is this an MV?" I ask. "You didn't know?" He asks me back, looking at me confused. "I knew it was for a video, not for a music one." I mumble. "We are in a band. He is the drummer, I am the bassist, we have Michael and Luke on guitar. We all have vocals. I am surprised you didn't know. I thought our management contacted you." "They did. But I thought it was Ashton's management and he is some director..." "Did I freak you out?" Calum asks. "No, no. I just didn't think he has never done this before. He sounded so confident when we were talking about what he had in mind..." I comment, lining up my brushes. "He has a way of faking it. Can I help you with that?" He asks me, pointing at my makeup case. "I like organizing my items my way. It is easier for me to be more efficient and not spend time fumbling around for my items." I explain and he hums. "If you need any help, I will be right there. Don't hesitate to call for me." He offers, pointing to the set, where Andy is just about turning on the lights.
Calum is the last to sit on my chair since the golden paint would probably irritate him had it stayed so long on his skin. "You know, I actually kinda liked what you did with Michael's eyes." Calum comments as I mix the pigment with a dash of duraline. "Thank you." I chuckle, taking a sample of the mixture. "And it looked good on camera too. It really showed." He continues. "Yeah, I didn't want to do something heavy. He has very bright eyes and I wanted to keep the sparkle. I am glad you liked it." I reply, picking up my application brush. "Will I be able to talk with this on?" He asks me as I apply the first stroke. "Hm, you will be able to talk, it is not like a clay mask, but try not to, because the pigment might crack from the facial movement. That's why Ashton and I decided to leave you last, so you would be able to talk and eat without having to worry about the makeup." I explain. "Oh... And I thought you left me last because I have a difficult face." "First of all, rule of the thumb is that you work on the difficult faces first, so it doesn't end up ruined by the time you shoot. And then, you have a gorgeous face. Very pretty edges, plump and fresh skin, your face is not difficult at all..." I reply, squinting to see if the paint has any streaks this far.
The invite to the Christmas party found me totally unprepared; after the video release and the credit the band gave me for the looks on it, there has been silence between us. I assured myself that this is a typicality, that I have been mistakenly invited to Ashton's Christmas party. But my manager insisted that I have to attend, to network with people from their industry. To my surprise, the party is way less crowded than I expected it; fuck, I wish I had brought my friend along, so I could chat with her and soothe myself from the anxiety; I feel like everyone is wondering who I am and what I am doing here. I pick a drink from the bar and take a quick sip, before the idea of going outside crosses my mind. I try to be as discreet as I can, not cause anyone to stare as I creep my way out. Ashton gasps as I pass by him, smiling brightly as he moves closer. "(Y/N), you made it. I am so glad to see you again. Merry Christmas." He greets me. "Hi, Happy Holidays. I am glad to see you too. Thank you for inviting me." I cheer, smiling at him as well. "Did you just arrive?" He asks me and I nod. "Yes, I have been here for 5 minutes most." "You came a bit early. We are expecting a few more people over... Come, come... Let me introduce you to a few friends. I am afraid only Calum is here now, from the people you have already met. But Michael and Luke are on their way over." Ashton motions for me to follow him. I do, taking a small sip from my drink as we walk closer to his group of friends. "(Y/N), this is my girlfriend Katelin, my friend Roy, my friend Mitchy, and of course, you have already met Calum. Guys, this is (Y/N), the amazing makeup artist that brought my vision into light for the Valentine video." "Hello everyone, it is nice to meet you. Calum, it is lovely to see you again. I think Ashton is really overselling me. All I did was do my job. The video was marvelous, by the way, I never got the chance to tell you in person." I turn to Ashton, who chuckles and brushes me off. "Please, you did an amazing job." He assures me and I nod my head politely. "Thank you. It was a beautiful project and I am glad I got to be part of it." I comment. "Any latest projects? I have been following your work ever since the video, and I got to say I am impressed. The way you do makeup, your videos, your posts, they make me feel warm and calm." Kaitlin comments, making me press my hand against my chest in gratitude. "I did a couple of shoots for Savage x Fenty for their Christmas promos. I got to say, this year has been amazing for me career-wise. I am glad you like my work. I want to keep a very zen vibe around my work." I reply, smiling at the woman. "Oh, there they are. Michael ad his girlfriend have just arrived. I will go call them over really quick." Ashton excuses himself. "So, (Y/N)... Did you come alone to the party?" Roy asks me. "I thought of inviting my friend along, but I ended up coming solo." I state, making the man hum.
I found an excuse after Luke and Michael arrived with their girlfriends to part from the group, and ended up in the small patio outside. It is a nice change from the crowdedness inside, a way to decompress from the awkwardness I felt while I was talking with Ashton's friends. I pick out my phone, checking the texts my friend sent me to ask if I need an out. "There you are." I hear someone call. I turn around, finding Calum walking towards me. I smile, stashing my phone in my purse before shrugging. "Busted." I chuckle. "We were all wondering where you went." He replies, pointing to the inside with his thumb. "I wanted some air. It is very hot inside, I felt a bit suffocated." I explain and Calum nods. "Ashton has been having the heating on almost all day." "Why? It is way too warm for late-December..." I furrow my eyebrows together. "We are from Australia. We are used to extremely warm weather in December, this is like we are staying in a freezer..." Calum explains and I shake my head from side to side. "I would have never guessed you are not from here. You barely have accents." "Yeah, comes with the years. Anyway, how are you liking the party?" He asks me, changing the talk to me. I sigh, my chest puffing from how long the draw of breath has been. "If I am completely honest, I feel a little awkward..." I admit, biting my bottom lip. "Awkward, why?" The tall man asks me, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. I run my hand over my shoulder, soothing the chills rising from the chilliness of the Californian night. "I had this feeling before coming here that Ashton only invited me as a typicality. I wouldn't have come if my manager didn't insist this would be a good opportunity to network further. And I felt as if I was forcing your friends to talk to me because I came alone." I explain and Calum nods. "Well, my friends are actually nice people, and genuinely wanted to get to know you better. Especially Kaitlin, she was so hyped when Ashton told her he was inviting you. And second, Ashton doesn't invite people for typicalities... He wanted you here, he is in awe of the work you did on our video, we all are, to be honest. But I get that being in a place you don't know anyone can be weird. It feels like you don't have a safety net." "Exactly. If I had my friend over, I could just pull her over and chat with her. But now I feel a little exposed." I sigh, rolling my eyes at how stupid this sounds. "Well, I am here. If you feel uncomfortable at any moment, just pull me over and chat with me." He offers. "Why are you doing this?" I ask him, earning a shrug from him. "I don't know. I just... I feel how you are feeling. I don't like it when I don't have a safety net with me." He explains, making me smile sympathetically. "You seem very easygoing, I cannot imagine you being in my shoes." "It comes with experience in this industry, you learn to mask everything. But if I am being honest, it is torture, always having to look so at ease." He states. I run my hands over my arms even harder, trying to warm up a little. I curse myself for not bringing a coat... "Are you cold?" He asks me. I nod my head. "I don't have a coat to offer you... Let's get in. It is way warmer..." He chuckles softly. "I like talking with you. I wish we could stay here..." I sigh in disappointment; he makes it seem easy talking to someone I barely know, and being inside at the party just seems so hard right now. "Don't worry, I know a corner in the house we can continue this conversation..." He lets me walk in first, but once inside he is the one to show the way and push through the crowd of attendees.
We make our way to the kitchen, which is surprisingly empty, despite the food on the marble countertop. Calum grabs a platter, offering me a slider before taking one for himself. "The good thing about Aston's parties is that there is always plenty of food. Which mostly goes untouched." "Why?" "No one really eats in LA..." He sighs, placing the platter on the counter before hopping to sit on top of it. "This is sad..." I stuff the mini-burger in my mouth, leaning against the countertop opposite of Calum "Are you doing anything on Christmas day?" He asks me. "Not really. It will be a lonely Christmas." "How come?" "Well, it is the first year that I have accomplished all my goals and I want to celebrate it in peace. And my family can be... quite loud..." I reply, shrugging my shoulders. "I get it..." "What about you? How are you spending your Christmas?" "Kinda like you... I usually visit my family or they visit me for the holidays, but this year it's none of it. There is always next year." He shrugs, but I can see the sadness on his face. "I am sorry for that. You are spending Christmas alone?" I ask, putting my hand on top of his sympathetically. "Yeah, but it is fine. I'll be fine." "Well, you are welcome at my house tomorrow for lunch. There will be food, drinks, desserts. Let's not be alone on Christmas Day." I offer, smiling at the man who looks at me with a newly-found sparkle. "Really?" He asks me. "Of course... That is if you feel comfortable coming." "Why are you doing this?" He asks me, furrowing his eyebrows softly. "Safety Net." I shrug, smiling at him.
I rush to open the door the second time my doorbell rings, knowing that behind it can be only my guest for the day. Calum appears behind the door, holding a pot of a beautiful red plant. "Hi, Merry Christmas..." I greet him, moving from the door to let him in. "Merry Christmas. Thank you for inviting me today. I didn't have enough time to get you a gift, and the lady in the flower shop told me this is the most popular Christmas plant, so here." "You didn't have to bring anything. But thank you, it is lovely. What's its name?" I ask, taking the pot as he passes it to me. "I don't know. You should name it. But Reddie sounds like a fitting name." He replies. I burst into laughter, pressing my hand to my mouth to stop myself from snorting. "I meant how is the plant called..." I manage to say. Calum groans and his face morphs into an awkward expression. "You must think I am a dumbass..." He throws his head back, looking at the ceiling before pressing the bridge of his nose. "No, it was just a miscommunication... I'll image search it later. Come on, I have made a light snack in the kitchen for us while we wait for the main to be ready." I motion him to follow me, walking ahead to the kitchen. "You have a lovely house." He comments as he takes a seat on the island in the middle of the kitchen. "Thanks. I pretty much renovated it myself. You should have seen the place when I first moved in." I sigh, remembering the dumpster my house was when I purchased it. "Do you have pictures?" He asks me. "Yeah, I also have a video on my channel if you'd like to see the before and after." I offer, picking up my phone. "Please, I am curious about it." I open the app, quickly searching for my video before handing the device to Calum. While he is watching the video, I plate the snacks and take a quick look at the main course in the oven. "Oh, wow... I can't believe this used to be what this place looked like. And you did it by yourself?" He asks me, handing me my phone back. "Pretty much. I wanted this place to be my dream home. Of course, the place had a good foundation, so I didn't need to intervene, but the remodeling and decoration were pretty much my doing." "It must have taken you a lot of time and money to do that..." "Well, it did take time, but I was able to turn this project into a series of videos for my youtube and monetize it from ads." "It is incredible. You are quite good at this, I should hire you to do mine..." He chuckles softly. "Thank you. So, would you like some wine with the snacks? I have white and red." I ask him. "Red is fine. Seriously, you should consider doing this professionally. You have a great talent." "I don't think it would work." "Why? Your house is the best advertisement." "I mean... It was my dream house. I have been imagining it and planning it for as long as I can remember. I don't think it would be the same, doing this for someone else." I explain, reaching for the glasses in my cabinet. "I guess you are right." "So, I have prepared a few canapes to pair with our wine. And I have made roast chicken with a side of stuffing. And for dessert, I bought this amazing Sticky Toffee Truffle. I hope you like the menu." I list, handing him a glass of wine. "It sounds lovely. The fact that you even invited me is enough. What would you have cooked if I hadn't come?" He asks me. "Pretty much the same, then I would eat leftovers until New Year's day." I giggle, clinging my glass with his. "Thank you again for inviting me." "I hope next year you spend Christmas with your family, the way you like it." I smile at him, taking a sip from my wine.
My phone rings, startling me awake from my mid-day nap. I grab it from the coffee table, rubbing my eyes to wake myself up. "Hello?" I ask as I pick it up. "Hi, (Y/N)... It's Calum." "Hey, Calum. What's up?" I ask, stretching my body as I stand up from the couch. "Are you ok? You sound a bit weird..." "I just woke up. I am fine." "Oh shit... I am sorry I woke you up." "It is fine, don't worry. What's up?" "I wanted to invite you to join me at a New Year's Day party I am going to. Well, starts New Year's Eve, but you get it." "Oh, that is lovely. But I already got plans. I am sorry. Raincheck?" "Do you really have plans or you are afraid you are not going to have a safety net?" He asks me with a soft chuckle. "No, I really have plans. My friend is throwing this fancy dinner party for New Year's Eve. Thank you for inviting me, though. I love that you thought of me." I coo, smiling to myself as I hear him chuckle. "How are you spending New Year's Day?" He asks me. "Same as I would have spent Christmas Day if you hadn't come over." "Then you should come over with me. Ashton is hosting a lunch, and I would love if you were my plus one." "I don't want to impose..." "No, no, you are very welcome. I am sure Ashton will be delighted." "If you are doing this to repay me for Christmas day..." "I am doing this because I like your company, and I want you on the New Year's table. Now, do you want me to come pick you up?" He asks me. His tone sounds overconfident, which leaves me no room to dispute him; either way, I have nothing better to do on New Year's Day. "I can come over by myself. Thank you for inviting me, I am sure it will be lovely." "You are very welcome. See you next year I guess." He cheers, causing me to giggle softly. "See you next year, Calum." I have this stupid smirk on my face as I hang up the phone, which I honestly cannot explain. I lean my head against the back of my couch, thinking of what I should wear for lunch.
(Calum's POV) "Are you sure you don't mind (Y/N) coming over today?" I ask Ashton as I help him set the table. "For the millionth time, I don't. I am happy to have her over. You two seem to get along really well." He states, cocking an eyebrow at me. "Yeah, she is a great person, very talented, very passionate, very kind." "Yeah, yeah... She is all that. And then some..." Ashton chuckles. "What do you mean?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows together as I look for an explanation. "I mean that it is obvious that you like her." "What? No." I scoff. "Come on, dude. You kept looking over at her during the shoot, then you disappeared from my party to hang out with her, you spend Christmas day with her, then you invite her to the party you didn't even want to go to, and now you invite her over to spend New Year's day with us. You keep finding excuses to see her, it is adorable." He looks at me with a bright glance, making me sigh. "Well..." "Well, what? As far as I know, she is single, right?" He asks. "Yeah, she is... You know she is trans, right?" I ask him, looking at my hands as I fidget with my thumbs. "I know. She never kept it a secret." "I mean... I don't know. Fuck, Ashton, this is frustrating. I don't know what to do." I admit, sighing deeply. He stays quiet for a moment. "Look, man... She is a gorgeous woman, there is obvious chemistry between you two. You really like her, I think she does too. I don't know why you are holding back from admitting it, or what mental boundary you are having, but you have to take a step back and deal with your feelings and thoughts. There is not much advice I can give you, but I can tell you the more you try to bury it, the worse it will get." He shrugs his shoulders, making me nod at him. I pick up a pair of glasses, placing them by the plates.
"Look who I found outside..." KayKay cheers as she unlocks the door and enters the house, accompanied by (Y/N). "What were you doing outside?" Ashton asks, walking towards her with open arms. "I was about to ring the bell. Happy New Year." (Y/N) cheers, hugging Ashton while she smiles. "Happy New Year. I hope 2019 brings you all the best." Ashton replies, letting go of her. "I brought some wine and a dessert. I got chocolate eclairs... Get it?" She laughs softly, handing the bags to Ashton, who laughs, throwing his head back. "Of course. You didn't have to bring anything, but thank you. Calum, would you like to show our guest where to put the things she brought?" Ashton turns to me. I sigh and roll my eyes at him; he could not have been more obvious. "Sure. Come on, (Y/N)." I smile at her, motioning to follow me. I take her to the kitchen, where she places the bags on top of the island. "Happy New Year, Calum. We didn't have the chance to wish each other." (Y/N) states, smiling at me. "Yeah, we didn't. Happy New Year." I hug her; she smells amazing, I cannot help but take in her scent. "Thank you for inviting me over. I really don't know if I wanted to be alone today." She mumbles. "You are very welcome. You are gorgeous today." I compliment her, taking a step back to let her image sink in. "Thank you. I didn't know what the dress code was for the day." She laughs softly, making her whole face light up. "It is fine, you look perfect." I reply, picking up the bottle of wine to put it in the fridge along with the box of chocolate eclairs. "Thank you. You don't look bad yourself either..." "Well, thank you very much. How was the dinner party last night?" I ask her, leaning against the countertop. "It was fine, there was a lot of food, we watched the fireworks and then I slept over at my friend's. It was nothing unusual. How was the party?" "I didn't go." I shrug. "You didn't? Why?" "I spent the Eve here. I stayed the night and I am going home after lunch." I explain and she hums. "At least you weren't alone. Did you have a good time?" She asks me, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she relaxes against the counter. "I did. Nights at Ashton's place are always great." "Are you two planning to join us? We are nearly starting..." Ashton announces as he enters the kitchen. "Can I help with anything?" (Y/N) asks, moving from the way to let Ashton take the food out of the oven. "No, no... Just go wash up and take a seat at the table. Calum, will you show her to the bathroom, please?" Ashton winks at me. All I do is nod my head, gesturing for (Y/N) to follow me.
"The food was delicious. I didn't have you as much of a cook..." (Y/N) states as we all help clear the table. "Oh, you didn't? Calum, tell her about my glorious meals." Ashton elbows me playfully. "He is a freaking masterchef, there is no use in lying..." I reply, causing Ashton to smirk triumphantly. "I had to feed all those morons, they would have been dead of starvation if it wasn't for me feeding them." Ashton says cockily. "So, you are like the mother of the group... Nice." "(Y/N), would you like some coffee with your dessert?" Kaitlin asks her, and (Y/N) shakes her head no. "I actually was thinking that I imposed way too long on you and that I should actually call an Uber to go home." (Y/N) replies, making Ashton gasp. "Imposed? No, sweetheart, we want you here. You are always welcome." Ashton assures her, taking his most comforting look. "Uber? You didn't drive here?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. "Yeah, I took an Uber here. I don't like driving after drinking, and I am also kinda tired from last night, so I didn't want to have to drive today." (Y/N) explains. "Stay for coffee and dessert, I will drive you home after." I almost beg her; just a little more time with her. "Are you sure? I would hate to get you out of your way." She looks at me as if she is trying to reach inside me for an honest answer. "Please, stay." I plead, smiling at her a half-smirk.
(Y/N's POV) "Can I ask you a question?" Calum asks as he drives towards my house. "Of course." "It is a bit personal..." He informs me, pausing to see if my grant is still valid. "It is fine. Just ask me whatever you want." I state, but I am actually anxious about what he is going to ask me. "How come you are single?" He asks, turning his head to look at me. I shrug my shoulders, biting the inside of my cheek. "Well, I guess it is hard for me to keep a relationship. I don't know. I haven't met anyone that was worth my time until now." I reply, dragging in a deep breath. "Why is it hard to keep a relationship?" He asks me. "You know I am trans, right?" "I do. What does it have to do with anything?" He asks me, earning a chuckle from me. "Not everyone thinks like you, Calum. So many of the guys I have gone out with freaked out the moment they found out about it. Full disclosure from the first date, so there is rarely ever a second. If they decide that dating a trans woman does not minimize their masculinity, then they start treating me like shit. They think I am lucky to even be with them. And this is where I leave them. I am a proud woman. I deserve the world, and nothing else. If being with someone means I have to put up with abusive behavior, then I'd rather be alone." I explain, turning to study his reaction. He nods his head, pressing his lips together without turning to look at me. "Why are you asking me?" I ask, staring at him and hoping he feels my gaze to shift his attention. "Well... I don't know. I guess... Fuck. I really like you. Like, really really like you, and I was just... It has nothing to do with you. In my previous relationships, I ended up hurting myself, and when I realized I started getting feelings for you, I started looking for reasons to discourage myself from admitting. I was really hoping your answer would give me some..." He chuckles, turning to look at me. I feel my face heating up and my hands are trembling as I hear him let the words out. "Me being..." I begin but he interrupts me. "It is not. I like you, you are a gorgeous woman, a very smart, passionate person, and I liked you since the moment I met you." He replies. "I don't know what to say, Cal..." "You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to let it out of my chest. What you do with this information is up to you. I owe it to myself, to be honest..." He replies, focusing back on the road.
Sooner than I realized, Calum pulls up to the front of my house. I turn to look at him, finding him already staring. "Look, Calum... I really like you. Really, really like you. But I cannot risk getting hurt. I need you to take some time, think about what you want. I cannot have you looking for reasons to get out, none of us deserve that. So, take your time, talk with yourself, and if you decide that you want to..." "I did enough thinking. I like you. Once I am in, I am never out, unless you want me out. I don't have more thinking to do, I know what I want." "Are you sure about that? Think of the impact, think of what your friends are going to say..." "Screw what anyone is going to say, (Y/N)." He groans; I feel my chest heaving, warmth running down my spine. "Well, in that case... Are you going to kiss me?" I smile at him, making him chuckle. "Isn't it well overdue?" He asks, undoing his seatbelt as he leans in for a kiss.
He goes slow, taking his time to set the pace while his hands rest softly against my cheek. I am at a loss of breath; his lips are so soft and warm, and I just adore the way his fingers are slowly tracing my cheek. I cannot help but sigh into the kiss, earning a smile from Calum as he deepens it. I am without breath as we part, a need to hide my face with my hands punching me in my gut suddenly. "You have very soft lips..." Calum mumbles, smiling at me as he leans his head against the headrest of his seat. "Do I?" I ask with a grin. "Mm... And you taste so sweet..." He brushes his thumb over my cheek, causing me to bite the inside of my cheek as I feel heat crawling up my face. "Wanna come inside for a drink?" I ask him. "I do. But I have to say no. But what about you come over to my place tomorrow night? Let's have a proper first date..." "A date?" I ask, cocking an eyebrow as I look at him. "A date..." He smiles softly, leaning in for one last peck.
And with the blink of an eye, Calum and I are a thing. Calum gets in his bedroom, with just a towel fixed on his hips. I lower my glasses, letting the book I am reading on my lap. "You should really get new books..." I state, making Calum furrow his eyebrows together. "Why?" He asks me, crawling onto the bed and sitting by my side. He leaves a soft peck on my shoulder, making me giggle from the tickling his stubble causes to my skin. "I have read all of the books beside your bed..." I sigh and he gasps. "Already?" "You keep me waiting for way too long, I have to entertain myself somehow..." I pout my bottom lip, earning a coo from Calum. "I should be ashamed of keeping you waiting..." He mumbles, cupping my chin as he looks at me with his infamous gaze. "You should..." I mumble, seconds before I am found on my back, pinned on the mattress with Calum hovering over me. The brotherhood necklace sways in front of my face as Calum supports his weight on his elbows. He leans in to kiss me, placing his hands on my hips to make sure I won't squirm underneath him. "You smell so good." I moan as his lips leave mine and focus on my neck. "I do?" He asks hazily. "So good." I whine, tangling my fingers into his hair. "You are going to pull my hair, baby?" He teases me; the soft silver locks have given place to a short buzz, much to my dismay. He knows I love pulling on his hair when he is inside me, he knows I love to stroke it slowly as we cuddle on the couch, and now he is taking revenge on me, depriving me of the thing I love. Of course, he says he only cut it because bleaching has made his hair weak... "I would if you weren't bald..." I jab at him, earning a laugh. "You are in love with a bald man..." He kisses the spot connecting my jaw to my ear, causing my skin to erupt in goosebumps. "Who told you I am in love with you..." I ask, but the breakage of my voice disallows me to mask the playfulness. "I know, you hate me..." He shakes his head, resting his hand on my thigh. I move the dangling necklace so it rests on his back before my hand grazes his face softly.
Before anything, Calum's phone rings, making Calum sigh in frustration. "I'll be right back..." He huffs, moving to the bedside table to pick up his phone, but only leaving it back on the furniture once he takes a look at the caller ID. "Aren't you going to answer that?" I ask and he shakes his head no. "It's the management. They have been busting my balls all week..." "About what?" I ask him. "We have this red carpet event. The guys want to bring their girlfriends, and management has been trying to get me to agree to go to the event with this new artist they have signed... You know, stupid PR stunt." He huffs, plopping back on top of the bed. I press my lips together, staring at him with tension as I try to understand why the fuck he didn't even think of suggesting I go to the show with him. I get up from the bed, grabbing my clothes from the armchair across from it. "What are you doing?" He asks as I slip off my nightgown. "I am getting dressed." I reply, keeping straight eye contact with him. "Why?" He asks in confusion. "I am going home." "I thought you were staying the night..." "I was. But now I want to go home." "Why?" He asks, knitting his eyebrows together as he tries to understand what is going on. "Because I don't want to be here anymore." "Did I do something?" "Yes, you did..." "What did I do?" He asks, standing up from the bed to walk closer to me. He is confused but seems to be really caring right now. "Are you ashamed of me, Cal?" I ask, slipping into my jeans. "What are you talking about?" "I am going to ask you again. Are you ashamed of me? Are you ashamed you are dating a trans woman?" I ask him, staring straight into his eyes. "Of course not. What has gotten into you?" He asks me, taking a step forward and placing his hand on my shoulder. I dodge him, moving aside to distance myself from him. "(Y/N), what is the matter?" "I don't know, Calum. Look at your friends... They want to bring their girlfriends to the event. I wonder why you haven't thought of doing the same." I finish dressing up, pushing him aside to walk out of the room.
A day goes by and I have no news from Calum, not a call, nor a text. I lie to myself, saying that it is fine, but it really isn't. I cannot bear the thought I spent six months of my life falling for someone who is not proud to be with me. I take my grilled cheese out of my grill, cutting it in half before hopping on top of one of the stools. Before I could take a bite my doorbell rings. I know it is Calum, I just know it. I leave my plate on the island, standing up and walking to my door. I take a quick look at the entrance camera, just to make sure it is him. I buzz him in, not taking my eyes off the screen as he gets inside. Calum is behind my door in record time, knocking on it softly. I waste no time opening the door, gesturing for him to get in. "Hi." I greet him. "Hi. Is it a bad time?" He asks me, scratching the back of his neck. "No, I was having dinner. Come on..." I motion towards the kitchen, followed by a quiet Calum. "Can I offer you something? I made myself a grilled cheese, would you like to split?" I ask him, taking a sit on my stool. Calum does the same, sitting across from me. "No, thank you. You forgot your phone yesterday, you left in a rush." He reaches inside his pocket, taking my phone out and sliding it across the marble top. "Thanks. I didn't realize I forgot my phone." "I tried calling you in the morning, of course, no answer, and I thought you were mad at me." He rests his hands on the counter, looking at me as if he is trying to read me. "You weren't wrong. I was mad." I reply, looking at my plate, suddenly losing my appetite. "Are you still?" He asks me, his slight lisp coming out; he only gets that when he is upset, or stressed, so I get why it appeared now. "Kinda. I am more disappointed than angry, to be honest." I admit. Calum sighs, running his hand over his face. "We had a meeting today with management. I told them I will not be having anyone else but my girlfriend at the show. That's it if you want to come with me." "What if I am not coming with you?" "Then I will be going alone. I don't want anyone else with me." He smiles softly reaching to stroke his thumb over my hand. "I guess you will be going alone, then." I reply; I am careful with my voice, not raising it a bit. This isn't an angry response, nor a payback. "(Y/N), please..." "No, Calum. I don't want you taking me along just because I asked for it. Nor as a compromise. You didn't want me with you in the first place, so I am not coming." I reply. Calum looks at the ceiling, taking in a deep breath. "There is a reason I didn't..." He begins. "Yeah, I know. Calum, I am a proud woman. I told you that from the very beginning. I want someone who will be proud of me. I want someone who will love me enough to take me places. I offered you time when you told me you like me. And you said you don't need any. Now what, Calum?" "The reason I didn't think of taking you with me is because I don't want people messing up with my personal life. There is a reason why there are only rumors about my exes. I don't want people to lose sight of what I am doing with my music. I don't want to minimize what we have to some yellow-page article about cheating rumors." "Why are you inviting me now, then?" "Because I love you. And I know this is important for you. And I want to make you happy." I stay quiet for a moment, letting everything sink in. "Look, the show is in 2 weeks. Take your time, no pressure." He breaks the silence, picking the invitation out of his pocket. "I don't want us to break up over this..." "I don't want us either." I sigh. "I think we need a break..." I admit, looking at my fingers to avoid Calum's gaze. "Are you breaking up with me?" He asks me, sounding shocked over my suggestion. "No. Of course not, Calum. I am leaving for New York in a couple of days, for the Savage x Fenty and the Fenty Beauty promo shoot. I think we should use the time apart to reflect. Again, I am giving you time to think about what our relationship means to you, and how being with me affects you. But this time, I am taking time myself to do the same." I explain, placing my hand on top of his. "I don't have anything to think of." He says softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "You do. And I do too. And this trip is what we need after this..." I assure him. "(Y/N), I love you..." He looks me in the eye, softening his face. "I know, Calum. And I love you too." "A break doesn't mean we are breaking up..." Calum utters, nodding his head as he finally gives up. "It doesn't." I nod my head, smiling at him; my smile is not a happy one, it is covered with my sorrow, a sorrow that comes from knowing that nothing will be the same between us. Calum stands up, walking around the island slowly. He leans down, planting a kiss on my forehead. "I will see you after New York..." He mutters and I nod. "Yeah." "We can still call each other during the break, right?" He asks me. "Of course. This isn't goodbye, Calum." "This isn't goodbye." He repeats.
(Calum's POV) "Any news from (Y/N)?" Ashton asks as he helps me with the cufflinks of the shirt. "She is fine, working lots in New York. We haven't spoken in days." I sigh, tilting my head back. "When is she coming home?" He asks me. "I wish I knew. I feel like I am losing her, Ash... Stupid, stupid me..." I press my palm against my head, a headache already forming between my eyes. "No, Calum. I am sure everything will be alright. When she gets back home, you will sit down and have a talk, and you will figure things out. But you should really stop worrying for now. It is doing you no good..." He pats my back softly. "I guess you are right." I sigh, picking up my jacket. "Are you sure you will be fine walking the carpet alone? You are always welcome to join me and Kaitlin." He offers but I shake my head. "I told (Y/N) I wouldn't be walking the carpet with anyone else but her, and I plan on keeping that promise." I assure him.
I am the last of my group to walk the carpet, leaving the couples to have the spotlight on them for a while. My stomach is tied in a knot and I cannot help but feel alone tonight. I hoped, I truly hoped she would show up to my hotel room, knock on my door and tell me she is here, but it never happened, so the emptiness inside me grows. I smile at the cameras flashing, waving politely towards a couple of people trying to get my attention. I move forward, hoping this walk of flashes is nearing an end soon. I cannot wait to go inside and scowl all I want, without fear of it being captured by the stupid press at the event. I feel a tap on my shoulder, making me turn around in a snap. It's her. She is here. She is looking at me as she waits to see my response, but I am frozen on my spot, my heartbeat ringing in my ears. "Hi." She says, her glare changing to a worried one as it has taken me way too long to respond. I hug her to my chest, tightening my arms around her to fully feel her against my body. "What are you doing here?" I ask, resting my chin on top of her head. "You said you would walk the carpet alone if I didn't come. I didn't want you being through this alone, I know you are not very comfortable with red carpet events." She mumbles, tilting her head back to look at me. "I missed you." "I missed you too." She admits, smiling at me. My headache is gone and my body feels warm as I look at her, flesh and bones before me. "Please, don't leave me alone again..." I plead and she nods her head. "I am not planning to." She assures me. I place my arm on her waist, pulling her to my body before I lean in to kiss her. I have missed her taste and her soft lips, and the way she feels against me, and how softly she kisses me back. Oh, I have missed her. "There will be pictures of us kissing everywhere..." She giggles as we part, hiding her face in her hands. "I guess there will be." I plant a kiss on her forehead, placing my hand on the small of her back to guide her further down the red carpet.
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thatonerandomfan4 · 3 years
Text
Rockwell’s History [READ WARNINGS]
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Fandom: Madness Combat
Characters: Dr. Crackpot, Dr. Hofnarr, Dr. Jebediah Christoff, Phobos, Hank, Sanford, Deimos, 2BDamned, Jebus, Tricky, Rockwell (My OC), Rockwell’s Parents
Warnings: Violence, Blood, Death, Gore, Attacking, Detailed Gore Scenes, Cursing, Transphobia, Crying, Injuries, Very Sensitive Topics, Angst, Heavy Angst, Long Story
Summary: Talking About Rockwell’s Backstory And How He Became Part Of The Madcom Group.
Word Count: 2,681
Notes: Rockwell Is Trans. His Original Name Was Roxannie (Pronounced As Roxanne) Roxannie Will Be In The First Half Of The Fic Until She Makes The Transition.
If You Feel Very Uncomfortable/Dislike The Topics That Are Going To Be In This Fic, Please Leave The Fic Now So You Don’t Have To Experience It And Triggers You. 
Also, If You Dislike Fics That Involves Peoples Made Up Characters (OCs), Then You Are Welcome To Leave The Fic. 
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Roxannie Woke Up To Her Alarm Clock And Quickly Got Dressed, Heading Downstairs To Get Breakfast. Her Mother Greeted Her With A “Good Morning” And A Warm Smile. Roxannie Sat At The Table, Greeting Her Father. She Took One Bite Of Her Cereal Until The Table Was Knocked Over. With A Frightened Look, She Looked At Her Father And Screamed. His Head Was Chopped Clean Off With His Chest Wide Open, Revealing That His Internal Organs Were Tampered With. She Was About To Cry Until She Heard Her Mother Scream. 
Instead Of Staying At The Table, She Ran To The Room Her Mother Was In. As Soon As Roxannie Stepped Foot In The Living Room, She Was Met With A Horrifying Sight.Her Mother Was Brutally Cut In Half With Her Face Missing From Her Head. The Top Half Of Her Body Hung From The Ceiling By A Sword Which Impaled Her. The Bottom Half Of Her Body Was On The Floor, In A Pile With Her Internal Organs. Annie Almost Gagged At The Sight, Until She Saw The Man Who Had Caused Her Parent’s Deaths. A Tall Dark Figure With Red Eyes Approached Her With A Hammer. It Grabbed Her Firmly By The Neck And Bashed Her Head Twice, Revealing Her Brain. 
It Left Her On The Ground Struggling To Stay Alive, Leaving Only A Tablet Behind. Rox Used It To Contact For Help, But Could Barely Stay Conscious Due To Her Brain Being Exposed. Luckily, There Was A Fast Response. The Mysterious Person Was Immediately Able To Track Her Location And Tell Her To Stay Where She Is. She Agreed And Just Laid In Front Of The Tablet, Trying Not To Lose Consciousness. About 45 Minutes Had Passed So Far, And She Was Starting To Feel Her Eyelids Get Heavy.
A Man Rushed In And Immediately Injected Her With Some Type Of Medicine. She Immediately Struggled To Stand Up, Before Being Forced To Sit Down. Her Head Was Bandaged Properly Before She Was Helped Up. She Didn’t Even Get A Chance To Thank The Strange Man Because He Immediately Rushed Her Out Of The House And Into His Vehicle. The Whole Car Ride Was Quiet Except For Roxannie’s Cries, Mourning The Death Of Her Parents. 
She Couldn’t Even Form Sentences Or Explain To The Man That Saved Her What Happened Because Of How Upset She Was. He Felt Bad For Her, Trying To Give Her Anything She Could Keep Her Mind Busy With Until They Got To The Place. She Didn’t Really Want Anything Though, Other Than To Let Out What She Was Experiencing Now. Once They Arrived To Their Destination, She Was Immediately Brought Into A Lab Where A Bunch Of Scientists Were Working. The Man Led Her Into A Room Where A Small Chubby Man Chatted With A Tall, Stern Looking Guy.
Dr. ??: “Hofnarr, Christoff. I Uh….Got The Child.”
The Two Men Looked Over And Immediately Rushed To Roxannie. They Hugged Her And Did Their Best To Comfort Her In Any Way Possible In That Moment.
Dr. Christoff: “Thank You, Crackpot. We’ll Let You Know If We Need Anything Else.”
Crackpot Nodded And Left The Room, Leaving The 3 Alone As Christoff Shut The Door. Hofnarr Tried To Calm Her Down And Talk With Her. It Was Very Hard To Understand The Girl Through Her Crying And Incoherent Words, Even For Him. Hofnarr Just Held Her Close And Consulted Her, Doing His Best To Calm Her Down. Christoff Sat Down Next To The Two And Offered Rox With A Glass Of Water. She Took The Water And Drank Half Of The Glass, Keeping The Drink In Her Hand While The Two Older Men Did Their Best To Help Her Relax.
Once She Was Calm Enough, They Finally Got Her To Explain What Had Happened. She Told Them Every Detail From This Morning, Keeping It Short And Sweet At The End. Hofnarr And Christoff Frowned, Hugging And Comforting Her Again. It Was Very Hard For Someone To Go Through All That Trauma, Especially For Someone At Her Age. Hell, The Kid Was Only 14. She Barely Knew How To Even React Or See Something Like That. She Needed A Lot Of Therapy To Get Past That Traumatic Event.
Hofnarr: “Hey Christoff. Do You Think Phobos Will Let Us Keep Her Here With Us?”
Christoff: “Maybe, With A Lot Of Bribing.”
Roxannie: “F-Forgive Me For I-Interrputing Your C-Conversation...But Wh-Who’s Ph-Phobos?”
Hofnarr: “Oh! Don’t Worry, You Aren’t Interrupting Anything. And Phobos Is Our Boss. We Need All Permission From Him To Do Anything Around Here.”
Christoff: “Kinda Sucky, But We’re Even Lucky If He’s In A Good Enough Mood To Pay Us.”
They Chat For A Bit Before Heading To Phobos’ Office, Staying Together The Whole Trip. Once They Reached Their Destination, They All Greeted Phobos Before Saying Anything About Roxannie. Phobos Obviously Had To Ask First And The Two Scientists Explained The Whole Situation. Phobos Took A Minute To Think Before Accepting Their Request To Allow Her To Stay. Ending It With “I Don’t Care How, But As Long As She’s Not A Big Distraction To You Two And Works With What She Can.” Of Course They All Had To Agree To That.
They All Headed Out The Door And Back To The Breakroom. Hofnarr Figured She Was Still Hungry And Offered To Make Her A Snack And A Drink. Christoff Just Offered Her To Stay With Them So She Has A Place To Sleep And Stay Instead Of The Lab. Rox Agreed To Both And Walked With The Two Men. On The Way Back To The Lab, Hofnarr Was Smiling, Gently Gripping Onto Rox’s Hand. Christoff Took Notice Of This And Chuckled. He Watched His Husband For A While. It Was Only Now When He Asked About His Sudden Cheery Mood.
Christoff: “What’s Got You All Giddy, Hoffy?”
Hofnarr: “We Have A Child Of Our Own Christoff! Aren’t You Excited To Be A Parent?”
Christoff Just Smiled As Hofnarr Went On About The Wonders Of Raising A Child Of Their Own. He Goes On Fantasies About Vacation, Family Outings, Family Dinners And Other Things. Roxannie Gripped Her New Parent’s Hands Gently, Smiling Softly. She Was Going To Start A New Family And These Were Her New Parents. She Didn’t Mind That, She Loved Supporting People Who Were In Relationships With The Same Gender.
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A Few Years Later…
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Hofnarr: “Rox, You Ready?”
Roxannie: “Yeah I’m Coming!”
She Placed Her Bandana On And Adjusted It To Be Over Her Bandages, Flattening Out Her Lab Coat. She Turned The Light Off In The Bathroom And Headed Downstairs To The Door, Greeting Her Two Dads As They Hugged Her. They Headed Towards The Lab While Hofnarr Was Going On About How Lucky They Were To Be A Family. Christoff Occasionally Threw In A Few Things, Chuckling At Hofnarr’s Responses.
Once They Got To The Labs, Everything Seemed Normal Except For A Few Stressed Out Scientists. The Shaking Scientists Greeted The 3 And Gave Them Information To Keep Safe. Hofnarr Took Roxannie With Him As He Usually Does For The Morning. Christoff Set Out To His Office, Looking Around At The Messed Up Experiments. He Scoffed At The Thought Of Phobos Actually Trying To Be Successful With This….Project. Christoff And Hofnarr Agreed That This Whole “Project Nexus” Thingy Would Not Be On For Long. Someone Would Definitely Stop Him, Even If It Had To Be One Of Them. 
Not Even A Minute Later, Hofnarr Had A Worried Look On His Face As The Sound Of Gunshots Could Be Heard From The Other Lab. Rox Stayed Close To Hofnarr Just In Case Anything Happened. They Kept Hearing Gunshots From The Other Lab, Not Knowing What On Earth Was Going Down. Hofnarr Was Upset, What Was Happening To His Husband? Was He Ok? Was He Hurt? He Held Onto Rox As He Tried Not To Cry About The Thoughts That Were Running Through His Mind.
Hofnarr: “I Hope Christoff Is Ok. I Don’t Want To Lose Him Like We Almost Lost You.”
Roxannie: “I-I’m Sure He’ll Be Ok, Dad. And Hey, If I’m Still Here, He’ll Still Be Here.” *She Hugged Him Close. Hofnarr Gave Her A Soft Yet Sad Smile.*
Hofnarr: “I Sure Hope So.”
They Waited About 30 Minutes To Half An Hour Until Someone Entered The Room. As The Two Turned Around, Hofnarr Rushed To Hug The Man. It Was Christoff, And Thankfully He Wasn’t Injured That Badly As He Though. Christoff Went Over To Rox And Hugged Her, Handing Her A Gun As He Also Gave Hofnarr A Gun. He Wanted To Keep His Family Safe While This Whole Messed Up Thing Was Happening.
Hofnarr: “You’ve Made Quite A Mess Christoff.”
Christoff: “They’ve Gone Too Far. If We Don’t Stop This Now...”
A Few Agents Entered The Room, And Christoff Killed Them With The Help Of His Husband And Daughter. Hofnarr Sweated And Gulped, Keeping Roxannie Close To Him.
Hofnarr: “I See We Have No Other Choice…”
They Murdered The Agents Who Kept Coming And Headed Out. Hofnarr Unlocked All The Control Panels As The Continued Through The Lab, Killing Any Agents, Zombies Or Any Failed Experiments. It Took A While Until They Got The Whole Place Cleared But They Were Able To Do It Without Much Harm Going To Them. They Got To The Last Room With The Control Panel And Hofnarr Started Getting Worried. He Looked At Christoff While They Got Rid Of The Last Few Agents With Rox Guarding The Door.
Hofnarr: “Ya Know Phobos Will Finish Us For This.”
Christoff Looked At Hofnarr After Shooting The Last Agent, Ending The Life Of The Betrayer.
Christoff: “Phobos Better Watch His Back..”
Hofnarr Unlocked The Last Control Panel And Looked Around The Room. He Started Heading Out After Christoff And Roxannie, Staying Close To Them While They Walked. Eventually Hofnarr Took The Lead Of The Group To Make Sure That The Other Two Were Safe. He Opened The Door Outside For Them Both, And Closed It After They Were Far Ahead Of Hofnarr. He Followed Them And Took The Lead After A Few Minutes. He Then Looked At Christoff As They Approached Phobos’ Tower.
Hofnarr: “Everything Depends On You Now.” *He Used His Key Card To Unlock The Door And Let Christoff In, Keeping Roxannie Back* “Good Luck, Old Friend..”
They Watched Christoff Walk Into The Tower, And Headed Back To The Lab. Hofnarr Kept His Daughter Close To Him, Trying To Keep Her From Breaking Down Like How She Was When They First Met. They Knew Christoff Was Only Doing This For Their Own Good, And To Stop This Whole Thing From Ruining Nevada Even More. They Walked Into The Lab And Immediately Went To The Breakroom, Setting Their Weapons Down By The Table When They Got There.
They Got Some Food And Drinks While They Chatted, Sitting Down So They Wouldn’t Fall If One Was Upset Or Panicked. They Chatted About Christoff And How….Cold He Looked When He Walked Into Hofnarr’s Lab. Rox Was Scared By His Look, As It Was Her First Time Seeing Him Like That. Hofnarr Had Already Known This Look So He Was Pretty Used To It. 
They Kept The Conversation Going By Talking About Other Stuff Like Work, Family Life, Dinners, And Especially That One Dinner Night. That Was The First Time Rox Had Seen Hofnarr Angry, And Not A Playful Or Slightly Irritated Angry. It Wasn’t His Fault They Were Banned From That Restaurant Though. The Boy Walked Up To Rox And Went “Tsk. You Wanna Be Trans? That’s Gross. You’re A Girl And You Will Always Be A Girl.” Hofnarr Was Just Defending His Daughter...By Attacking The Boy With A Chair.
They Were At The Lab For About An Hour To An Hour And A Half Just Chatting And Wandering Around. After A Bit, They Headed Outside And Met Up With Christoff Again.The Only Difference About Him Was That He Was Wearing The Key Fragment On His Head. Jeb Greeted The Two And Lead Them Back Inside The Lab. This Was Going To Be A Strange Experience For All Of Them.
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A Few More Long Years Later…
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Sanford And Deimos Turn The Corner, Shooting The Agents That Tried Approaching Them. The Two Headed Into The Room And Killed All The Agents In Sight. Then They Saw Her….Roxannie On The Floor Unconscious. They Both Inspected Her Body And Picked Her Up, Keeping Her With Them. They Finished With Their Mission And Brought Her Back To Base. The Brought Her To Hank And 2B Where They Inspected Her Body. 
After She Woke Up, She Made A Request To The Doctor. She Wanted To Be A Man. The Doctor Hesitated Before Agreeing, Putting Her Under Anesthesia. He Waited A Few Minutes Before Finally Getting To Work. He Wrapped Him Up And Successfully Did Both Top And Bottom Surgery. Doc Finished With Replacing The Bandage On His Head, Cleaning The Wound Before Putting Anything On There. 
After That, Doc Gave Rockwell Medicine To Help With The Pain. He Helped Rocky Walk And Get Used To Using The Bathroom. After That, Doc Gave Rockwell Some Clothes To Wear: A White Shirt With Ripped Sleeves, A Black Vest. A Belt To Go Over His Chest, Black Pants And Another Belt To Keep Them Up, Black Boots, Goggles With One Side Red And The Other Black And A Gas Mask. He Also Put His Hair Into A PonyTail.
Rockwell Put Everything On And Headed Outside, Ordered By Hank, To Fight The Clown. Rocky Took A Look At The Clown And…….Wait….That Lab Coat Looks So Familiar…..Was It..No It Couldn’t Be….HOFNARR?! But..He Looked Way Different Than Before.
Tricky: “WHO ARE YOU?! NEVERMIND THAT- CLOWN KILLS YOU!!”
Rockwell: “No Wait-!”
Tricky Whacked Rocky Pretty Hard In The Face, His Gas Mask Had To Be Removed. After Rockwell Removed His Goggles, Tricky Gasped And Dropped His Stop Sign..He Looked Like He Wanted To Cry.
Tricky: “Ro-Roxannie…?”
Rockwell, Holding His Jaw In Place: “It’th Rockwell Now, D-Dad.”
Tricky Immediately Hugged His Child, Healing His Jaw And Forming A Metal Plate Over The Injury. Rockwell Hugged Tricky Back, Both Squeezing The Shit Out Of Each Other. Tricky Kept His Son Close, Until They Heard Footsteps Approach From Behind Rockwell. It Was Jeb….Well...Christoff But He Didn’t Look That Different. 
Jebus: “Tricky, What Are You Doing?! He’s On Hank’s Side!” *He Took Out His Binary Sword, And Swung It Up*
Tricky Backed Away And Ran To Jeb, Trying To Stop Him.
Tricky: “JEB NO HURT HIM!! GUY IS-”
It Was Too Late. Jeb Swung And Cut Rockwell Almost In Half.
Tricky: “Roxannie-”
Jeb Looked Frightened. Oh God, What Had He Done? He Removed His Sword And Watched Rockwell’s Limp Body Fall To The Ground. The Savior Broke Out In Tears. He Just Murdered His Own Child, Or He Thought He Did. He Was Relieved When He Heard Rockwell. He Was Still Alive! How? That Didn’t Matter, He Was Just Happy His Son Was Alive Still.
Jeb Rushed Over To Rockwell And Healed Him, Summoning Bandages And Wrapping Him Up. He Was Still Crying From What He Had Done. Tricky Joined Them Both, Starting A Group Hug With All Of Them As They Reunited. Sanford, Deimos, Hank And 2B Rushed Out As Tricky Helped Rockwell Up And Jeb Healed Him Again.
Sanford: “Oh Cool, So I Guess We Can Call A Truce.”
Deimos And 2B Agreed, Hank Didn’t. Wimbleton Didn’t Like The Idea Of Living With His Enemies, Especially If They Act Nice And Turn On Them In The End. Hank Disagreed And Left To Blow Off Some Steam, It Was Gonna Take A Long While To Convince Him. Sanford And Deimos Ended Up Adopting Rockwell While Tricky And Jeb Readopted Him. Rockwell Now Lives With The Crew, With Having 4 Parents Who Support And Care About Him, 2B Who Takes Care Of His Wounds And Trans Stuff, And Hank...
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diegolabhont · 4 years
Text
I didn't mean to fall in love with you
Chapter One
Book: Queen B - Choices (Universe)
Pairing:  Poppy Min-Sinclair x Trans!Male MC  (Beck Hughes)
Genre: None (in this post, al least)
Rating: Anyone can read it, really.
This is me trying to write by and for the Trans community, specially FTM community, meaning, trans guys, but I actually took the liberty to use They/them pronouns for everyone out there who´s interested (Also, the name Beck was the most neutral one I could find, trying to use the cannon Bea Hughes)
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Can someone explain to her how a person who claims to be so disinterested in the ranking was magically climbing to the top twenty?
Poppy didn’t buy it for a second, she always knew Beck were going to be a pain in her ass ever since the first time she saw them looking at her as if they weren’t impressed, but she wasn’t fully aware of how much.
“You don’t have to worry about them, Poppy” Chloe said while the strawberry blonde retouch her make up in the mirror inside her own room. “Beck is just a dude”
“Transphobia much, Chloe?” Veronica murmured playfully, wanting to start drama among her streaming fans.
“No! What I'm saying is… Beck's brain works as a regular dude, right? How much smart can they be?”
“Ha! That´s rich coming from you” Veronica laughed.
Both girls started a discussion about related shit, Beck’s brain, hormones and else while Poppy put on the mascara. Completely silent, thinking.
She treated Beck as a common enemy, she attacked them just like she would to any other lost lamb trying to be the wolf but it was not enough. Even one of those plans exploded in her own face: ruining and breaking Beck's guitar caused that they not only get a flashy and beautiful new one, but sang side by side with the one and only Jaylen Riaz, making a huge performance. Even better than hers, which was something painful and humiliating at the same time, especially after Veronica told her Beck’s YouTube channel had a followers increase, making them even more popular.
Chloe was right on something: Beck’s brain worked like a dude, and if she had learned something was that men in general were manipulable. Take a look at Michael, he was dumb as hell. Liam was a douchebag. Luis, Ford… well, they… they´re there. The only golden boy among them was Carter, and yet, he wasn´t that hard, she just gave him what he wanted in that party and after that, everything ran smoothly.
And that´s what she needed.
Poppy´s look changed, her eyes sparkled in a very malicious way and a smile crossed her face for a split second. She now had a plan, and unexpectedly, it was a Chloe attribution.
“Maybe if we accused them of cheating…?” Chloe suggested, but Poppy knew better.
“That won´t be necessary, Chlo” Poppy intervened for the first time in a while, making both girls look at her intrigued. They knew Poppy, and the little smile she had on her lips as she applied lipstick was a proof. The blonde was onto something juicy. Veronica ended the live and awaited. “Beck will be mine.”
~~X~~
It was kinda lame to her, but finding Beck completely alone under the football stands playing guitar was at least convenient. They were an eye candy from the start, that was a fact. The way that white t-shirt embraced their body was something else to see, her mind went back to the second time she saw them. The sassy rock star kind of look Beck had, even the haircut was perfect, Poppy knew that was a Zoey Wade signature and she kinda thanked her for it. Beck was damn fine, that fact made easier her plan to be honest.
“You know… You do pass pretty well as a man”
Beck stopped playing, literally frozen in place as a statue.
“What did you just say?” Their tone of voice was cold, almost insulted. Did she just get it wrong? No, she´s never wrong. A Queen can´t be wrong, especially a Min-Sinclair queen.
“It was a compliment, Farmsville” she said, rolling her eyes.
“That´s not a compliment” Beck chuckled, putting the guitar aside. “I mean, I don´t mind, but if you are going to use that to the trans community… It~ may not end well” Poppy frowned, a little pissed off. She was doing an effort, no-one had ever heard a compliment from her and this little sh… “But thanks.” Beck offered her a sweet smile a second before turn it into a mocking one. “You do pass pretty well as a woman, too”
“Go fuck yourself!”
“And now she gets it!” They started laughing, making her really angry. Poppy walked away fuming, her head up high and a killer look murdering anyone who dare crossing ways with her.
That stupid ASSHOLE. Did they THINK they could disrespect her?! To HER! She was the number ONE, the fucking RULER of the entire school. Beck was lucky enough to be in her radar and they just throw stupid shit like that!
“To be fair… I did say it first”
“I thought it was a COMPLIMENT” She fight against herself. “What am I? Some trans expert?!”
“No… But I can be. I mean, to destroy my enemy…”
“I have to know them...”
Even thought she was still mad about it, Poppy tapped wildly though her phone. She needed to do something, and she knew just the thing.
“It´s ON, jackass”
~~X~~
POV: Beck
Top fifteen. Everyone was losing their shit because they were now top twenty and Beck... Well... They just didn´t want it.
And yeah, sure, that was kinda good. The students in Belvoire had begun to pay attention to their music as well, Beck even caught a few of them listen to songs Beck wrote and some other cover as well. Their art was taking off and that was awesome, don't get it wrong, that was something Beck wanted for so long, but...
They were afraid.
What if it was because of the stupid ranking?
What if Beck just wasn´t that good, and the only thing people would want was that Beck who studded up against Poppy Min-Sinclaire and lived to tell? Even Zoey, she was talking about popularity, Belvoire elite, and some “Person to watch-out” or shit Award which yes, was huge! But… Beck really was afraid that it was Beck who puts the music high and not backwards.
What if…
What if Poppy really messes all up?
“You know… You do pass pretty well as a man”
Poppy´s words in their mind caught Beck off guard. What was her deal anyway? She came and said some weird shit, and...
Actually, everything in that interaction was weird as fuck. And not just that, Beck meet Taylor by accident later that day in the ice cream shop, they both talked a little and they found out she had a big crush onto some random guy Beck didn´t knew before.
Of course Beck was the matchmaker! They even helped her by carrying those stupid anti-diarrheic pills to the lion´s den. Ok, yes, maybe~ Beck should´ve had given them to someone and not just let them in the front door… But it wasn´t their fault that The T found out!! Poppy was losing it, and of course it was them to blame.
Why can´t they just have a normal life… with normal problems… and not… this?
“I´m dead… I´m actually dead…” Beck thought while burying their head on their hands, tired.
“Beck? Hello? I assume you heard the details of the assignment.”
“What?”
“Ehm… Yeah! Totally” Beck said with a “confident” smile that nobody believed in, Professor Roberta even frowned before going back to the lecture, while Beck tried uselessly to catch something about the assignment from their classmates´ laptops. She hated Beck anyway, but it wasn´t good news to be always in her bad side.
“Shit! Shit! Shit! … What did she say?”
“Mass comm is all about reaching people far and wide, so this project is meant to give the voiceless in our own community a voice by…”
A penetrant gaze nailed their nape, giving them chills. Beck immediately looked for that one hawk over them and not to their surprise the person found on the other side was that deadly beauty called Poppy Min-Sinclair, watching Beck as they´re a prey. Feeling really drove up the wall, Beck winked playfully at her, expecting her to look away or some rude expression towards them.
But no.
Scaring the shit out of them, Poppy actually smiled back at Beck. A sweet, flirty smile that left them feeling their heart racing as crazy and their cheeks burning red, her dark eyes so into theirs that all their system collapsed... What was happening?
“Earth to Beck!”
Professor Roberta yelled, making Beck jump a little in their sit, breaking all eye contact between them both. When did Beck turn their body completely to watch Poppy? Of course the professor was mad, Beck was practically giving her their back! As faster as they could, Beck took the right seat, being even more embarrassed now while Poppy let go a chuckle, they could hear her from any other laughter just as clearly as if she were so close.
“Oh, sorry. I… Sorry”
“Find your community service project partner please” Professor said. Beck gathered their things and head into the aisle, looking around, praying to find someone whiling to work with them and, mainly, explain to them what was that project about. The thing was everyone had already a partner. Everyone except for…
The strawberry blonde was gazing Beck as sure as someone who´s waiting for this chance can be. Smiling that same smile that caused them to feel butterflies in their stomach… Beck wasn´t sure if they were aroused… or scared.
“Professor Roberta… I need a new partner” Beck practically begged. “I´m sorry. I just can´t work with Poppy.”
The pretty but odd teacher was about to say something. Something bad based on the expression on her face, but a perfect made-up laughter cut her words, as Beck was feeling how a soft and warm hand hooked to their arm.
“Nonsense, professor! I am pretty sure we´ll be working just fine.” Poppy said, a relaxed expression drawn on her porcelain face. “Let´s go, Hughes.”
Ok, Beck was now scared. As both of them walked out the classroom, Beck´s brain was running wild, thinking about every and each form Poppy could use to disappear them from the face of the earth. Ironic, Beck survived Farmsville but they´ll be totally done in New York. Ha! Life hates them.
“Listen, I know what you are thinking…”
Really?
“... but the last thing I need right now is having my GPA taken away. So I´ve already figured it all out. We´re doing an animal shelter commercial for our project. I can ask daddy to borrow the equipment and crew”
“Didn´t think of you as a daddy person” Beck laughed, a little more repose.
“Shut the fuck up, Farmsville. This will be easy, so all I need you to do is… Oh my god.”
Poppy stared at her phone completely in shock, color draining from her face as it was sucked by a dementor.
“I have to go. We can figure out the deets later, I´ll text you where to meet me”
Then, she just left. Beck took a deep breath and let out a hiss.
“Gosh, this school is going to kill me!”
They said, who would have thought a class could be so much?
-----
Next
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xxrainstormxx · 4 years
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Save it Lover Boy. Spencer Reid x Reader (Save it for the Doctor Part 2)
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(A/N: In this story it’s been a few months. I’m not great at focusing on the Romance part but there is a little more than there was last time. I really hope you guys enjoy!) Word count: 2,405 Part 1 (edit: my pleas for requests for stories are not reaching people so I will beg here. If you want a oneshot I’ll write it. Prompt or no prompt.)
After the incident with my sister, my life was flipped around for the better. I began to date Spencer, the team being unaware. I finished college and thanks to a few strings JJ and Aaron had pulled I was now the BAU's personal assistant. Granted, it was a unpaid internship so it was not very glamorous but it got me the experience I need, especially if I want to be apart of this specific team. I was the one who got coffee, filled out unrelated paper work, helped JJ set up stations and boards. I still hadn't quite gotten used to that sinking feeling when the phone rings. Or when JJ approaches your desk, or the photos. You never get used to not sleeping in your own bed, the hotels, no moments of privacy, the monsters, families loosing each other. Or the pictures, it's disgusting. I especially never got used to how numb all my friends were numb to it all at the end of the day. Especially Spence, he'd been through utter hell and yet he was still sweet and managed to smile. It worried me sometimes, how relaxed they could be at the end of the day. 
So, JJ and I were setting up everything on the board. I frowned at the woman on the board. Only one, we caught it just in time for it to become a murder. It made me sick to think there was a possibility we could save the 25 year old, but instead we were called in after it became a bigger problem which made me feel sick. How easily someone gets away with something until they commit the actual murder. This woman was a very lively person. She clearly didn't deserve what she had gotten. "Samantha Burkly" JJ said softly "Poor woman." She said and left to talk to the others leaving me sitting in the conference room just tapping away at the laptop provided. I was also little Miss Penelope Garcia's assistant so I was stuck digitizing files she didn't want to, and it fucking sucked dirty dick. Yeah, let that sink in. Anyway I felt a few pairs of eyes on me only to look up and see the team staring at me through the cursed window of the room. "What?" I rose a brow causing a few to look away Spencer's eyes lingering, he was waiting for something. I don't think either of us knew what so I blew him a kiss and a subtle wink making him look away turning pink. That same shade of pink when he found me innocent and began what I would come to know as a very normal rant. His epiphanies, or what I called "braingasms" (which he absolutely despised), would strike a chord 99% of the time, and the other 1% could be brushed off as "Reid being Reid" which kinda upset me. He was a damn genius and yet no one seemed to want to listen. Sure I hadn't been around as long a the others but I would sit and listen to Spence talk for hours when on dates, I would nod, as questions and get very thoughtful and honest answers. Sure they weren't always what someone would want to hear, but did anyone ever tell you it would be good news. Reid and I could also have a very thoughtful debate. Now was that normal for couples, no, probably not. But at least he had facts to back up his opinion, making it a real debate and not just some senseless argument that fell into pointless attacks on the other person leading to a fight and rough makeup sex. Which I wouldn't mind but it'd only been a few months, and didn't wanna make an uncomfortable situation we could easily talk through anyway. What was I doing? Right, paperwork. 
As I ended my very long side rant and staring into space while also staring directly at Spencer's ass, I turned to my computer. "You shouldn't stare at people baby cakes." I heard causing me to jump out of my damn seat. "I was staring into space. Jesus Derek you scared the shit out of me!" I cursed glancing to the man with his nose in a file I was digitizing, "Sorry hun. But we need a fresh pair of eyes" he said gesturing to a new less dusty file on the table in front of my computer. I recognized the face on the front as the same woman on the board. Her name written on the front clear as day. I knew what was inside and I was proud to have not seen it but now it disturbed me that my eyes were being referred to as "Fresh" in that way. It made me feel dirty and violated in a whole new way. "Why? You guys know this case inside and out. I'm just the intern." I said and snatched the older file out of his hand. I knew this poor case inside and out by now. Decapitation and sexual assault of the esophagus. Real nasty shit ya know? The woman was 22 and then a man was found two weeks later with the same thing. But the case went cold 7 years ago. It was sad. The woman's mother had killed herself and the man's father disowned his son assuming he was gay because a man did that to the literally gaping hole in his neck. It was one of the bigger case files full of dead ends. I had become intimately aware of all the details of the case, even the signature, something overlooked by the police because they thought decapitation and violation of the hole in the neck was it, and while rare that wasn't the case. It was a soft lipstick mark left on the victims hands next to the stamp of the club they went too. It was pink so very easily missed. "Because baby, you're gonna need to get used to this if you ever wanna be promoted. You can't react like you did back in January and vomit on the floor." Derek chided me softly "Fine, But you have to stop calling me baby, we aren't together. Also stop touching the files they're in alphabetical order and you're fuckin it up" I hissed smacking his hand away from another file at the bottom of the stack. "pissin me off Agent Moron" I wailed as he laughed at the new insult. I could literally feel Spencer's jelousy from the next room. It was honestly kind of cute but I could not be thinking of my boy's sweet face at the moment, I was about to see what really happened to poor Samantha Burkly. I took the new file off the table and opened it to the pictures and I was hit with a familiarity. "Derek this isn't funny. I was just looking at this file" I declared nonchalantly as I lobbed it back onto the table going back to the laptop "What the hell are you talking about?" He asked "that's a brand new file" He said "A red headed woman decapitated with semen in her esophagus and a pink lipstick mark on her hand next to it? That Hellen Barsly not the Burkly girl" I stated "You leave out Jason Green to make it more realistic?" I muttered never once looking up "Pin lipstick mark?" he questioned grabbing the file "I'll be damned there it is. You barely looked at it. That woman is Samatha Burkly" he blinked "Har har Derek" I hissed snatching the file and opened the file as Spencer walked in to listen. I barely acknowledged him because I was pissed at this point.
"I know the Banshee Hunter of West Point case better than my own fucking computer history" I said and held it up to the picture before being shocked as I saw that the decapitated woman was in fact Samantha. Right next to her living photo. "The what?" Reid asked, clearly never having heard of it. "Oh my god. OH MY GOD" I yelled and ran back to my seat pulling out all the files related to The BHWP case, I knew full well that this case was bigger than it seems. "Penelope has me on digital file duty and these cases caught my attention for some reason. The case went cold 7 years ago." I mumbled pulling up all the files that were back at the office in my desk as I'd finished them. I had a whole folder for all the connected cases, even ones where the M.O and victimolgy had changed. "The first murder dated back to 1970. A woman by the name of Jenny Boil had disappeared, she was 24 years old. Found decapitated in the middle of the highway her esophagus had been sexually assaulted. She had red hair with a soft pink kiss mark on her hand and her mouth had been stretched open like a banshee. And because her hair was red along with numerous victims leading up to the sudden coldness of the case. There are cases where the victimology changed completely or the M.O so the police never connected them or assumed they were copy cats" I rambled as I quickly set up a time line that ended with Samantha "and now hes back with the latest victim" I hit enter and the time line stretched across the screen victims all over the screen. "the pink lip stick marks. Originally they were thought to be remorse but I think this guy has some kind of fucked up chivalrous attempt" I squawked and pushed my chair to the whiteboard standing on it feeling eyes on me. I didn't know or care how many. I heard frantic flipping and click me. "This guy has over 100 known victims only 12 of them not red heads. Only 11% of his victims don't fit the victims and only 3 don't fit the M.O of the others making that 2%!" I yelled as if I was Spencer. I could feel my face turning red with adrenaline. "Now all of these cases 100 percent all have a kiss mark on the hand, same brand and color of lipstick, A frosted pink lipstick, 67 Peach Pink from the brand Nestacia" I wrote that down "And all these cases I noted have three different overlapping suspects" I said pushing Spencer out of the way of my computer and printed up their pictured and grabbed them hanging them up "Now!" I continued slapping the board "This man right here is no Biological male! His name is Tyler Grant a 59 Year old trans man! He couldn't have done it but that doesn't mean he couldn't have helped" I said noticing the whole team in the room. No one tried to interrupt because I assumed I looked batshit insane. 
I was right cause I caught my refection and my hair was everywhere now, I was sweating, and my pupils were shaking. I didn't care I was on a roll. "There is no plausible way the semen belongs to him!" I said "These also can't be a copy cat killer-" I began before being unceremoniously interrupted again "But how do you-" he began before i loudly shushed Spencer. "Save it lover boy! I'm getting to that! Lemme talk your turn in over" I said making him smile just a little "As i was saying, it can't be a copy cat killer because there was also another unnoticed factor! The strange shape of the lips! No one draws on their lips this way but the pallet is larger on one side than the other. The killer has a cleft pallet, which cannot be a coincidence!" I said "and as you can see! This man right here! Leston Nikolia has a cleft pallet. But because they never had proof he'd done it due to the overlooked lipstick marks he walked free!" I yelled circling him "And we don't talk about Henry for the simple fact that he is Impotent and was in jail during the last 7 murders before Samantha and he's dead now!" I finished and took a large inhale and sat down "the lip stick is enough reasonable suspicion to bring him in for questioning. He's a coward. He cannot face people head on and most likely has high anxiety and is easily paranoid it wouldn't be hard to get a correct confession." I panted "Reid! Is this what it feels like when you solve a fucking problem? I feel like my brain just had 7 orgasms" I wished sitting back "It was always circumstantial but now that there a new victim sitting in front of me I'm sure it was him" I wished taking more deep breaths "I'm going to call Garcia and see if I can get a fact check on everything." Aaron began making my heart sink, please please don't discredit everything I just gave you. "JJ can you get us a location? Reid get started on a warrant the minute JJ gets it, Derek get a game plan together, Prentiss and I will do more investing on this Nikolia guy, and (Y/N)." he finished turning to me. "Keep going over every file you have and see if you can connect anymore of these murders. Good work" He said and the team began to work. "Holy shit" I gasped and Spencer smiled at me "You might have just solved this case." He said kissing my forehead "and I'm so damn proud" he whispered. I was still riding my knowledge high, the adrenaline still pumping so not caring that we were at work, I kissed Spencer straight on the lips. He froze because we were still in a work setting but slowly kissed back. His lips were soft, we hadn't had a proper first kiss, just forehead kisses, cheek pecks, and occasional pecks on the lips if Spencer was feeling sausey. I just giggled pulling back "That was... so much at once. How does your brain do that all the time?" I asked "Mine's been doing it a lot longer. See you after work okay?" he whispered and went to do his job "Right. Work" I whispered and sighed turning to my laptop cracking my knuckles doing real work for the first time in my internship. Who knows, maybe me and Penelope could do this kind of thing together!
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Note
Amelia and Wea meet while waiting in a therapist office. Amelia has PTSD that occasionally effects her sense of direction. She becomes angry, disoriented and denies anything is wrong. Wea is dealing with anger that she had to give up her child that was born to her while in a arranged marriage she managed to leave years later.
If You Ever Need To Talk
Warnings: ptsd, murder, abuse, bullying, blood, drowning, transphobia.
(This is an AU)
Amelia bit her lip. She often found herself lashing out due to a past traumatic experience.
     She sometimes found herself remembering those events.
       "There he is!" A voice called out.
       Amelia stopped dead in her tracks. She bit her lip. Her heart had nearly stopped from being misgendered.
       "You're never gonna be a girl. So give up," the boy sneered.
       "Shut up," Amelia growled.
       The boy chuckled, then he smacked Amelia upside the head.
       "Ow," Amelia mumbled. She angrily stepped down hard on the boy's foot.
         The boy howled out in pain. Then, that's when he called over his friends.
         His friends crowded around Amelia, all with their hands clenched into fists.
        Amelia gulped.
        The therapists office lobby had a clock that clicked rather loudly.
        That reminded Amelia of another time….
          Amelia had been new to the college campus, and she was glad that nobody knew her here.
       "Hey!" A man yelled. He had green eyes, brunette hair, and a beanie.
         "Don't make eye contact," Amelia quietly told herself. She looked down.
        The man started to approach her.
        Holy shit, is that a knife?, she thought.
       Amelia turned away and started to speak walk away from him.
       As the man approached, she only walked faster and faster to the point she was running now.
      Amelia tripped, falling over.
     The man had caughten up. He ripped up from the ground and pinned her to the wall. "Why is a man like you dressing like a girl?" He asked angrily with a Southern twang.
       "I'm not a man," she stuttered.
       "Yeah, whatever," he chuckled. Then, he plunged the knife deep into her abdomen.
        Amelia fell to the ground as the man stalked away.
       Amelia coughed and weakly pulled out her phone. Holy shit, I'm gonna die, she thought. She quickly sent a message to her only friend, Al and she hoped he would see it in time. Then, she fell unconscious.
        Amelia blinked back into reality. Still feeling the pain and stress of the memory of the event that happened nearly two years ago, she clenched the armrests of the chair. Her nails sank into the soft fabric.
      "Are you okay?" A soft voice called.
      Amelia glanced over to see a Native girl, probably a three years younger than her...about nineteen or twenty.
        "I'm perfectly fine," Amelia tried to reassure the girl.
        "You don't look fine. You look like you've just seen a ghost," the girl commented.
        "I'm fine." Amelia gritted her teeth.
        "Well, you're not fine if you're here," the girl said.
         "Neither are you." Amelia paused. "What's your deal anyway?"
          The girl sighed. "As soon as I was out of highschool--a couple of weeks after graduation mind you--my parents married me off to his man. He beat me all the time. I hated it. I had told my parents countless times that I liked women and not men, but they didn't seem to care. That man and I had a child. I had already planned to leave him. I came back from the store to find out that he had drowned our daughter...I divorced him and got a restraining order. I moved out here to be as far away from him and my parents as far as I could. But, I still blame myself for what happened to her...and I sometimes wonder if I made the choice to leave my child on the otherside of the country."
        Amelia blinked a couple of times. "Wow, that's a lot to unpack." She paused before asking, "What was her name?"
        "Huh?"
         "Your daughter," Amelia clarified.
         "Liz. Lizette," the girl said. "The asshole's name was Kameron."
         Amelia gulped.
         "What?" The girl asked Amelia.
         "Sorry, I just knew someone named Kameron." Amelia asked, "What was his last name and where was he from?"
          "Johnson. We lived in Dallas, Texas."
           Amelia gulped once again. She had been attending college in Dallas. The man who had attacked her that night was the same man who stabbed her. "H-he s-stabbed m-me," Amelia stuttered. Her hand shot over her mouth after she realized what she had said.
         "He did what?" The girl said.
          "He stabbed me after he found out I was...trans," Amelia nervously said.
           "That asshole," The girl growled.
            "Sacagawea?" The therapist called peering into the room.
            "That's me," the girl stood standing up.
             "That's a beautiful name," Amelia said.
             "Thanks," Sacagawea smiled as she wroted something down on a piece of paper and handed it to Amelia.
             "What's this?" Amelia said after glancing at it.
               "It's my phone number," Sacagawea began. "I know you have a therapist, but if you ever need to talk...I'll be there."
              "Thank you," Amelia said.
               Sacagawea smiled. "You're welcome."
-
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male-reads · 4 years
Text
Winchesters: Family
Fandom: Supernatural Pairing: Winchester Brothers & Male!Reader Summary: You thought it wouldn’t take as long as it did, and things don’t take a good turn. Request: in the spirit of the last season of spn, could I get a fic ab a ftm teen taken in by sam and dean after his parents are killed but he is super scared to tell them he's trans because if he gets kicked out he has nowhere to go so maybe they're on a hunt and he accidentally passes out because he was wearing a binder too long?
a/n: the nature of this fic is the reader wearing the binder for like way too long in the wrong circumstances.
don’t wear your binder for more than 8-10 hours. don’t wear it when exercising and don’t wear it when it’s hot out. drink water and don’t fuck your body up. this has been a psa from ya friendly neighbourhood trans guy.
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You hadn’t been expecting your life to go well. Your parents had died, courtesy of a nest of vamps. You’d been orphaned just as you’d come out to your family as a trans man. Things had been difficult, and then the universe decided to throw you into the life of a hunter.
You could’ve turned your back on being a hunter, to try and rebuild your life from what had remained of it. But you couldn’t. Now that you knew that the supernatural was real, that there were monsters hiding in the dark … it had felt almost like a sense of duty.
Which had to be why the famous Winchester brothers had taken you in.
They didn’t know that you were FtM. All they knew about you were that you were an unlucky kid that lost his parents. And that wasn’t even the beginning of it all.
You didn’t think that they particularly meant to take you in. They’d come to you dressed as FBI agents, asking about your parents’ murder. You’d not believed their shit for a minute. By the time that they’d come into your life, you’d already found so much about theirs.
You’d learned about the vampires, werewolves, demons - you knew a lot. And you knew them. You could remember from your earlier years about the psychopathic brothers that had gone on murder sprees, mysteriously died, and then returned - only to end up again, but show up on your doorstep.
Yeah, you didn’t believe their shit for a minute.
And so they’d taken you in. They’d found out about the vampire nest, how they’d been planning to take you, turn you into something like them. Both brothers prevented it from happening. But then … they didn’t make you leave. They kept you around, and when they saw that you were learning more and more about the hunter life, they decided it was best that you were trained for if something were to ever happen.
They were the Winchesters; shit always happened.
But it was weird. You weren’t out to them, they didn’t know your deadname for some reason. They only knew you as the real you. They didn’t even know you were trans. They hadn’t seen your binder, or the items you snuck in when things were on Bad Days.
And then you were taken out on a hunt.
It was your very first hunt, and both of them agreed it was an easy hunt for a first time hunter. It was simple enough for you to get into the flow of things. 
But fuck was it a hot day.
You hadn’t meant to wear the binder for so long, you hadn’t thought it would take as long as it did. You’d wanted it to be quick, in and out with time to spare. Not to mention you hadn’t properly thought through the physical exertion that came with hunting.
So you’d worn the binder in the worst ways possible; for too long, in hot weather, and during excessive exercise.
When you woke up, you found yourself in bed. The binder was still on, and you felt a panic over just how long it’d been kept on. You looked around and found you were alone. You took this moment to take it off and breathe. You did a few stretches and coughed to clear your chest. It sort of ached, but you knew you were lucky. Things could’ve gone far worse.
A few minutes later, you were wandering the bunker. You saw both Winchesters at the table, looks of worry on their faces.
“You scared the shit out of us, Y/N,” Dean said, staring at the table. You’d been silent on your approach, but of course he would notice you. Sam looked up at you, worry lines etched into his face.
“What happened?”
You clenched your jaw as you moved and sat down at the table, legs pulled up to your chest. “I was wearing my binder. The heat, how long we were out there … the amount of running I was doing. I guess it was just a bad move on my part,”
Dean scoffed. “Yeah no shit,” he said, and turned to look at you. His eyes were red around the edges, like he’d been crying. “You have to trust us on these kinds of things. Neither of us care that you’re transgender. We care about you and your goddamn safety.”
You nodded, feeling a little overwhelmed by the words. “You don’t - you don’t care that I’m trans? You’re fine with it?”
Sam reached over and took hold of your hand. “We don’t mind. We just want you safe, kid. And you telling us how long you wear that thing is important. We’ll find another way for you to go hunting with us without risking your health. Just - give us a head’s up first, yeah? I think Dean damn near had a heart attack.”
All you could do was nod your head in silence, thinking over what both the brothers had said.
They didn’t mind. That meant that they accepted it. They were OK with you being trans.
It felt an awful lot like a breath of fresh air.
“I didn’t know how to tell you guys,” you said, words breaking the silence. You heard them both turn to look at you, but you were looking down at your hands. “It was hard enough telling my parents. It was - we got through it. There were parts that weren’t fun. But we got through it. And then they bought me my binder. About a month or two or something later, the vamps killed them, and then you guys appeared.”
Neither of them said anything. You wondered if they’d even know the right words to say.
“And you assumed I was a boy right away. And I didn’t want to make a thing out of it, so I just let that happen. You didn’t ask about the names or anything so I didn’t push it. I kinda just … I wanted to pretend, I guess.”
“Just because you’re trans, it doesn’t make you any less of a person. You’re stronger than either of us just for having the ability to come out, to deal with the possible - the hate that you could get. And you still went ahead and did it.” Sam said, and Dean made a quiet noise of agreement.
“We’ll help you get whatever you need,” Dean said, then looked over at Sam, sharing a glance. “I’m pretty sure we could get Cas to give us a helping hand in - in making things right for you.”
You nodded, and quickly wiped at your eyes. “Thanks, guys.”
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Text
I Hate Me More!
Fandom: Sanders Sides
Characters: Virgil, Roman.
Relationships: Prinxiety
Summary: Virgil has had the worst day of his life. Well, it's up that alley anyway. Roman isn't helping with being as extra as he is, but they eventually get to talking about what's going on. And it makes Roman start to think that, just this once, violence and murder was the way to go.
Word count: 2254
A/N: PLEASE!!! Read the tags!! This is very angsty (for me, and I wrote it)! I had to take many breaks from writing this due to the sheer amount of angst and crying! I don't know how angst writers do this every day!
This was inspired by an incorrect quote made by @MusicalsAndLove on Twitter.
Please stay safe my lovelies!
(This was also written on Virgil’s birthday... so happy birthday, Virgil?)
AO3 link
I Hate Me More!
Virgil was having a bad day. Well, all days were bad days, but this one was even worse. He’d been kicked out of his parents’ house a month ago for being himself. Like, come on. It was almost 2020. Get with the times already. Being trans and gay was nothing new at this point.
He’d moved in with his childhood friend and present boyfriend, Roman Green, after that. Roman Green he was going to kill! He loved Roman, don’t get him wrong. He really loved Roman. But sometimes he could be too much. Especially on his really bad days.
Roman was currently singing at the top of his lungs in the small apartment's living room. Being too extra about it, as well. Princey-style. He’d just come back from his last lecture of the day, Virgil had been home for a few hours at that point. And was just recovering from a panic attack.
Virgil stomped down to the living room from their shared bedroom down the hall. “Could you shut up for just one minute, Princey?!” Virgil asked, irritated. Roman stopped belting out songs as soon as he heard Virgil’s voice.
“Greetings to you too, my lovely Stormcloud. And nay to your question. Otherwise, how would I be able to serenade the most beautiful man in the world?” Roman smirked, turning around to look at Virgil.
“Stop already! You’re so infuriating sometimes! ARGH!” Virgil went to grab at his hair but stopped himself last second.
Roman dropped his smirk into a frown. Something was off. This wasn’t their usual daily after-class banter. “Are you alright, Virgil? What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” he asked. He shouldn’t have.
Virgil metaphorically exploded at being called pretty. He usually didn’t mind it, but after today’s events, it was the worst thing Roman could’ve chosen to say to him. “PRETTY?!” he all but screeched. “Is that all I am to you? Just a pretty face?! Someone to pity and show off? To show what a saint you are?! Ooh, look! It’s poor little Virgil who can’t figure himself out! He was kicked out of his own house because he was so fucked up! Let’s help him to show the world what a good person I am!”
Something was definitely off, but Roman’s mind only fixated on Virgil’s words. His statements. Roman saw red. How dare he insinuate that! “What’s wrong with you, Virgil?! How can you even think that?!”
“I’m right, aren’t I? I’m just a pity-project!” Virgil shouted.
“No! No, you’re not! God, what do you want from me?!” Roman yelled back.
“Nothing!! Absolutely nothing! I want nothing to do with you!” Virgil all but roared. It stirred Roman further into his red set of mind.
Before he could think about what to say next, he heard himself say the biggest falsehood in his life, one that was spurred on by the heat of the moment.
“Oh, my g- I hate you!” And Roman went silent. Had he just said that? Why did he say that? He loved Virgil! More than anything and anyone!
Virgil went silent as well. Tears in his eyes. And the wheels in Roman’s brain started turning again. “Yeah, well I hate me more.” His voice went quiet, and Roman almost didn’t hear him. “I hate me more.”
And the gears clicked. Why Virgil had acted out. His family. “I- I didn’t mean it, Virge. Please, babe,” Roman said with the softest voice Virgil had heard from the other man. And Roman slowly went closer to Virgil. Closer and closer. Until he was only a breath away and embraced him. “We’ve talked about this. You have to tell me when you’re having a bad day.” Virgil was hiding his face in Roman’s chest, sobbing his heart out. “You have to tell me right away when your parents try and get to you. I love you. I won’t let them get to you. I swear it,” he quietly continued as he rubbed soothing circles Virgil’s back.
Roman’s heart broke at the sound of Virgil’s sobs. “I’m s’ry. ‘M s’ s’ry! I-I…” Virgil’s muffled cries came from Roman’s chest. And that sound shattered Roman’s heart.
“Shh, hush, darling. It’s not your fault. I love you so much. But please, tell me what happened. At your own pace. I love you so, so much!” he mumbled as he kissed Virgil’s head.
Virgil nuzzled into Roman’s touch. “Mm, love you too, Ro. I-” Virgil moved a bit to look at Roman. “Can we move to the couch, please?”
Roman’s heart was in danger of bursting from heartbreak at the look in Virgil’s eyes. So pleading and red and hurt almost beyond repair. “Of course, Love.”
After they had settled on the couch, Virgil started crying again. “I’m s- so fucking sor-sorry, Ro-oman! I-I didn’t mean it! I-I just-”
“I know. Love, I know.” Roman kissed Virgil’s hair once more. “But you have to let me know. It doesn’t matter if I’m in class. You tell me right away! Please,” Roman said seriously while looking Virgil in the eye.
Virgil sniffled and rubbed his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again and hid his face in the crock of Roman’s neck.
“What happened, my darling Stormcloud?” Roman was getting very worried. He’d never seen Virgil like this except for when he stood at Roman’s doorstep a month ago after his parents kicked him out.
Roman moved Virgil so that he was sitting in Roman’s lap. The recently turned 18 art student looked down at Roman’s chest, to scared to look him in the eye after what he said, even though Roman semi figured out what was going on with him.
Virgil softly placed his hands on Roman’s flat chest, one hand starting to softly trace it. God, he wanted a flat chest like his handsome boyfriend. Tears began to blur his vision once more.
“Virgil?” Roman spoke so softly that you couldn’t really blame Virgil for immediately surging up to kiss him. Roman was surprised at first but reciprocated it after only a moment. It was wet and sloppy but passionate.
They broke apart after a minute. “I’m really sorry for saying those things,” Virgil whispered his mouth only a breath away from Roman’s lips. He leaned his forehead on Roman’s before continuing. “My parents-” his voice broke.
“You don’t have to tell me right now. We can just cuddle until you feel a bit better, Love. I’m not pressuring you,” Roman murmured before kissing Virgil again, just a little peck on the lips.
Virgil smiled at the love and affection radiating from Roman and directed at him. “But I want to. I need to.” Virgil sighed, and his smile dropped. “I ran into them today.”
Roman visibly tensed. Virgil could tell he was trying to not show his anger towards them. When Virgil stood in front of Roman’s door on his 18th birthday, Roman had to really control himself so he wouldn’t take off and take out the rightful anger he felt on Virgil’s behalf on his parents.
Roman nodded for Virgil to continue. He wanted to know what the hell they did to his precious Stormcloud!
“They- it was in Remy’s coffee shop. I don’t know when or how they found it. Remy said they’d never been there before. Reina hadn’t seen them before, either. I didn’t see them at first. Was sitting with my back against the door. They-” Virgil’s voice broke again, and he had to swallow past the lump in his throat. “They deadnamed me.”
Roman was seething. Absolutely seething. He considered violence an atrocity but was at that moment planning two murders. Those people knew not what respect was at all!
Virgil hugged himself back into Roman, seeking comfort. “I- they- they said ‘well, i-if it isn’t our p-pretty little daughter, Victoria’. I fr-froze. It didn’t sound l-like they were the by ac-accident,” Virgil said, voice barely above a whisper.
Roman stiffened. “So that’s how I set you off? By saying you’re pretty? I’m so sorry, Virgil! Had I known, I would never have said it! Please forgive me!” Roman hid his face in Virgil’s neck. He was close to tears himself. Stupid! He should’ve noticed Virgil’s mood wasn’t one of banter sooner! Shouldn’t have called him pretty! What was he good for?!
Virgil sniffed out a small laugh. “I know, Ro. You would never do that. You didn’t know, so you don’t need to ask for my forgiveness. But… I forgive you.” Virgil breathed in Roman’s sent. So nice and calming. He smelled like the forest they used to play in when they were younger, with just a hint of lilacs and old books. Bottom line: he smelled Perfect with a capital P.
“What happened then?” Roman asked softly. He had a suspicion but hoped that that was it; what Virgil had told already. Of course, that sadly wasn’t the case.
“They- they started shouting and belittling me, and I didn’t do anything! I just sat there, all frozen.” Virgil was sniffling again, he was very close to tears once more. “If it weren’t for Remy and Reina, I don’t think they would’ve stopped. I might’ve even gotten physical between them and me. I feel so fucking guilty for leaving Ann behind! She has to live with them for two more years! I just wish I could’ve taken her with me out of that hell-hole…” Virgil trailed off, remembering what came next. Roman was going to flip when he told him. Virgil just knew it.
“I love your sister like she’s my own sister, so I get it, Virgil. But we have to stay strong. Maybe we can find something on your parents that’ll make them lose custody over her. I’m sure Remus’ partner, Dee, would be more than happy to help! They could definitely find something we can use against them!” Roman declared, mentally striking a dramatic pose.
Virgil hugged Roman even tighter because he knew what was about to be said was not pretty.
“Hey, what is it, Virgil? Did something else happen?” Roman asked, sensing Virgil’s discomfort. Virgil nuzzled himself closer to Roman in response. ”I’ll take that as a yes. You feel comfortable telling me?”
Virgil took a deep breath. He could do this. He slowly pulled back to look at Roman, tears in his eyes. “Remember how I got a new number after… you know?” Roman nodded. “Yeah, well, I made sure Ann got it so we could keep in touch, as you know.”
Roman didn’t like where this was going. “Yeah? What does that have to do with your parents being assholes to you?” Roman was very worried by the way Virgil avoided his soft gaze.
Virgil fished his phone up from his pocket and shoved it into Roman’s hands. Roman looked quizzically at Virgil.
“When I got back here I-I got a call from Anastacia.” Virgil paused. This was gonna be tough. “Except- except it wasn’t her. Mom and dad they- they got a hold of her phone. They were the ones calling me. I- I thought I’d gotten away from them! And when they called- I didn’t hang up! I let them scream at me over the phone! I- I didn’t say anything, though. So they hung up.” Virgil chanced a glance at Roman’s face, and Roman was no longer contemplating committing murder. He was actually going to do it!
But for now, Roman was going to be there for Virgil. And hear out the rest of Virgil’s story. So if he held him a little tighter? Well, you couldn’t blame him in the slightest.
Virgil nuzzled his head against Roman's chest again and listened to his heartbeat. “Open my phone, and it will tell you the rest,” Virgil sighed. And check it, Roman did.
“What the actual fuck is wrong with them?!” The phone was filled with hateful texts from his parents. Both from their phones, but also from Anastacia’s. And just as he was about to turn back to kiss Virgil, another text message dinged in.
And Virgil froze. “What does it say?” he asked after a lot of internal debating and at least a minute of hesitation.
Roman didn’t really want to indulge Virgil but knew that it was better that he saw it now, together than later when he was alone. Roman felt sick at what it said. ‘Think of what you did, you sinning little faggot. Learn your place in the world!’ is what the text said. “We’re gonna get a hold of Dee right now! I think this’ll help us get at least a restraining order!” Roman practically growled.
“So, worse than the rest,” Virgil whispered. Not a question, but a statement. “Can we- can we stay here for a while? Just. Cuddling? Text Remus, but please just stay?” Virgil asked, voice so quiet and doubting.
“Of course, my beautiful dark angel! I would love nothing more! And I will text him. But for now; cuddles,” Roman whispered back, kissing Virgil’s hair before softly using his hand to tilt his head up to give Virgil a tentative and caring kiss, trying to pour as much love in it as he could muster.
“Mmm, cuddles,” Virgil mumbled as he slowly broke away from the kiss to curl up in Roman’s lap, starting to dose off, the excess anger and anxiety had left him rather tired. This day had just turned from the worst to the not worst. “Cuddles. Cuddles good.”
Endnotes: And if you want to kill Virgil's parents? You're not alone! I wanna kill them, too! All throughout writing this, actually.           
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goatbi · 3 years
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Backstory Bullshit
Hi. I don’t know what I’m doing. This is just random important things about Author and Host, thank you for your time. (Author is referred to as Alaric, Host as Quill!) 
Also if you’re expecting coherency from me, don’t. This is just to get my thoughts down. 
Also a trigger warning for rape mention and eating disorder mentions, as well as a minor gore thing. None of these go into detail, but I feel like it’s important to mention nonetheless. 
-Basic Info for starters: 5′5″, trans man, autistic. Alaric is Pan, Quill is Demi Bi. 
-Two older brothers, one older sister. Older Brothers are the Jim Twins (this information was something Quill blocked out for a good amount of time) the older sister is currently unknown and not something Quill (nor Alaric) is looking for. 
-Parents? Nah. Why don’t we kill those, thanks Alaric, thank you for your time. 
-Kind of disappeared. There is a reason that Alaric didn’t know that the Jims were his brothers, and it’s because Alaric sought to completely distance himself from everyone. 
-Thought he was human. Was wrong 
-No real first experience with realizing that he’s got powers. It was mostly a slow build up of Alaric writing random things in various places and having them end up becoming true before Alaric realize ‘oh shit. huh. I’ve got magic.’ and then just kind of went from there 
-Murders sometimes, just for fun. Alaric doesn’t really get hands on all that often, the only people he did that for were parental units, and then focused on writing, cause he thought it was neat to see what he could do to them without ever laying a finger on them. 
-That was true up until he was raped and then Alaric took a bat to the man’s skull and never looked back. 
-Thus begins Alaric’s philosophy of “Trauma? What trauma? I’m not traumatized.” 
-Alaric is very much traumatized. 
-Becomes very hyper sexual as a result, but kind of hates himself for it. 
-Also tends to kill the people he has sex with. Just. Just for fun. Y’know. Not because of a trauma response-
-Also begins to self destruct a bit, in many many ways. 
-Doesn’t eat as much as he should, which is just it at first, and then eventually just. stops eating 90% of the time. Keeps himself alive through writings in a personal notebook he has, just for shit like this. 
-Starts getting into dark magic, and then black magic, trying to find the source of his powers, so he can get more. Does not take any precautions. 
-Power hungry, vaguely blood thirsty. 
-Finally, the whole, ‘not taking precautions when doing black magic’ thing kind of backfires. Badly. 
-Admittedly, Quill doesn’t know what happened in the few hours that are missing from his memory. There are a few things he does remember: Alaric’s afraid, panicked. The room is on fire, the entire cabin is on fire, the fire is in his head, and he has to get it out. 
-Alaric tears his own eyes out with his bare hands. This is not a clean job, there are scratch marks all around Quill’s eye sockets because of this. 
-The Person In Between, since this person is no longer quite Alaric, but not yet Quill, wanders off. Wanders back to the others, namely Dark and Dr. Iplier, is a dramatic motherfucker and grins at them, waves, and then passes out. 
-Wakes up, still not quite Quill, not def not Alaric anymore. There’s something to take care of first. 
-The library was Alaric’s domain, and it will be Quill’s. But first, certain remnants of Alaric are placed aside, in their own little room, away from everyone, hopefully to be forgotten about, and then the person between locks part of the memory away. 
-Quill is tired, of course, and honestly hates himself. Not because he is Alaric, but because he was. Just because part of those memories were locked away doesn’t mean all of them were. 
-Takes some time, Quill meets Malik, which is something that helps drag Quill out of his brain 
-Quill relearns to use first person in order to properly say ‘I love you’ to Mal. 
-Finally, starts settling into who he is now, which has turned from a violent angry scared, frankly broken man, into this. Still sorta broken, still scared, but more tired. Avoids violence if he can, but isn’t afraid to use it if he must. 
-And then Quill finds the room. 
-Now, the person between did this on purpose. Like a time bomb in the back of Quill’s head, waiting until he was calmer, had dealt with some of what he remembered (which was enough to know Author was violent and scared, but some of the reasons were not there) before opening the rest. 
-To be completely honest? Quill broke a little bit. Forced people around him to pretend not seeing him for days was normal, kept himself tucked up in that extra little room and remembered 
-Flipped his shit. 
-It wasn’t ALL about the fact that there were three siblings he didn’t remember, but that was what he focused on 
-This was around the time that people realized. Oh shit. Quill hasn’t been around in awhile. 
-Mal flipped his shit as well, to a lesser extent 
-Quill went off and attempted necromancy. Failed, because his siblings weren’t dead, and brought back someone else, because Alaric had a bad tendency of burying victims around the cabin (which yes, is basically a burnt out shell now)
-Quill ended up killing the guy for a second time, and had a panic attack until Dark came and took him home, since Quill couldn’t exactly communicate where the cabin was to Mal (who was not told for various reasons) and Dark knew where it was. 
-Spent a few days in an exhausted stupor. 
-Then decided to burn everything in that room (after going through it all). It was very cleansing. Quill has an attachment to fire in some ways, now that I think about it. 
-After that, the Jim Twins were like ‘alright. How do we tell our brother he’s our brother when he thinks we’re dead’ 
-They managed it, however, and Quill has brothers now 
-Mal proposed (after telling Quill an important part of his backstory) with a necklace with one of Mal’s feathers on it. 
And that’s. generally, in order. the story. Here’s some random bullshit info that isn’t important to that but is for me 
-Neither of them like shoes (sensory reasons). Alaric went barefoot everywhere, just cause, but Quill wears fun socks that he steals from Mal. 
-Quill’s coat is one of the most important things to him in this world. Very good sensory thing. 
-Alaric had a German Shepherd dog, which he didn’t... completely take care of, kind of let it be feral. 
-Quill now has the menagerie. This started with just Echo and Brair, the two cats, the first of which is a Turkish Angora, and the latter of which is a grey Sphinx. Not exactly in order, it has expanded to include Fate, a German Shepherd, Nagini, an albino ball python, and Noodle, a brown ferret. There are plans for more, but that’s it for now. 
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clownhara · 4 years
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I've been following you for a while but I dont know all that much about your OCs so how about a big resume of them all?? :DDD
I haven't really posted much about them on this account until recently so that doesn't really suprise me 😅 but yeah I absolutely can! Warning though this is going to be unbelievably long
I guess I should start off with Zensuke because he is THE gay purple cat. I named this blog after this guy. I made him when I was probably like 12-13 or around there so he had all the things you'd expect a repressed edgy kid's of to have. He was basically a demon who managed to get out of thier world's equivalent of hell and instead of doing anything evil he just made cake and got married to the guard who was supposed to kill him. I don't really do much with him anymore but I still love him very much.
Corbinian is probably the character I talk most about and he's the one I edit to fit into different worlds the most. He was a normal doctor but he got his memory wiped by robots and ended up working as an executioner for the robotic mafia, but eventually got caught and had to hide out in Lobotomy (he was originally a Lobotomy Corp oc) where he discovered he can extract abnormality dna and with some altering the dna can be injected into humans causing a variety of different mutations and effects. He's usually very heartless and manipulative, but does have a soft spot, usually for anxious, soft spoken people, who subconsciously remind him of his brother (who is a friends if so I can't really get into him). He also was given a variety of nicknames by the higher ups, like Corb, Corn chip, Corb on the Orb, or just Corn. Je
Corble is the result of Corb trying out human cloning. He has the same general appearance as Corbinian, but with purple hair (hence the name, because he's porble corb) that's styled differently. Since the experiment was technically a failure Corb was going to kill him, but Corble was really sweet and innocent and Corb basically went "well great guess I adopted my clone then". Corb stopped messing with cloning but adores Corble.
Might as well get all of my Lobotomy ocs out of the way. Oliver is the first Lobotomy oc I ever made, which is funny because I may or may not constantly forget that he exists. Oliver is basically a five year old kid in an adults body, and I mean that literally, because his parents basically locked him in a room and ignored him so his mental age is basically that of a kids. He's very mischievous and loves pulling pranks on people, most of which are harmless. Unless it's Corb, whom Oliver gates with a passion. Then it's thinly veiled murder attempts disgusted as pranks. He loves Fairy tales, and only works with fairy tale abnormalities because he panics with any other kind. Only one person in the entire facility can even put up with him, and that's Mabel.
Mabel is trans lesbian who can find the good in almost anyone. She's optimistic, bubbly, and has a great sense of humor. She tends to get really flustered around women though. Is it obvious I kinda projected onto her a bit? Because I did. If she wasn't in Lobotomy she'd definitely be a streamer. I'm just now realizing I basically made snapcube before I knew who that was. Whoops.
Up next is Adam! Adam is quiet, nervous, and honestly just prefers to not be noticed. Their ability to almost seamlessly blend into thier surroundings is astounding. Most people (me included) tend to just forget they exist. Which honestly is funny because they end up dating the loudest, most cocky person in the entire facility. Adam loves horror movies and spicy food.
Kieth is the loudest, most cocky person in the entire facility. He's the adopted son of a sephirah and the leader of the Rabbit team so that much is unavoidable. He's quick to anger, blunt, and tends to underestimate other people. However, he's also loyal to a fault, and willing to back his friends up no matter what. He feels like his mom's are expecting him to live up to expectations that he can't (and that they don't have but he doesn't realize that), so he's constantly throwing himself in harm's way to desperately try to prove to them that they made a good investment by adopting him or die trying. His two passions in life are collecting weapons and tending to rabbits, two of which he managed to train to sit on his shoulders and attack people. Despite being total opposites he loves Adam very much and will endure any horror movie with them, even if he's a huge scaredy cat.
Damien doesn't gave that much development, unfortunately. He came from a very religious household, moved out, and frequently gets possessed by an abnormality who makes him act like a cryptid. Totally normal stuff. He also went to law school.
Zephyr is a very, very serious individual. They've got a completely monotone color palette, speak either in short, blunt sentences or long, fanciful paragraphs with no in between, and tend to come off as cold and stiff. They're completely devoted to work, which is how they managed to become a captain. Despite this, they're very kind and caring, but unfortunately rarely get to show that side of themselves unless it's with Jamison, thier partner, both in crime and in the romantic sense. They also have a love/hate relationship with Owen, basically openly hating his guts but also enjoys thier banter and would hate if anything genuinely awful happened to them or his family.
Jamison is the complete opposite of Zephyr. He's an open book, very colorful, and tends to slack of when Zephyr isn't looking. Not on purpose, he just tends to get distracted most of the time. He's quite popular because he's very cheerful, which is rare in the higher ranks of Lobotomy. He'd absolutely die for Zephyr, and us usually the one who patches thier wounds. He really doesn't like Owen and thinks thier a pain in the ass, but keeps that to himself most of the time.
Owen is..... Interesting. I kinda went buck wild with him not gonna lie. He's one of the oldest son's of the God of Nightmares and Fire, an absolute agent of choas, and a campy fashion nightmare. But... I love them. They're both unbelievably obnoxious and also very caring. He's the kind of character you'd love but also hate at the same time. He also ended up becoming the God of Death in one timeline. If he wasn't God they'd probably run makeup guru/cursed amsr YouTube channel. Honestly he'd still run those as a God though. Also gender is a toy store and Owen is a kid who broke in after dark and is running along pushing all of the assorted genders into a cart while laughing maniacally (they use any pronouns but I stuck to just he/him they/them for this little snippet)
Alright, Lobotomy ocs done. Up next is.... Ugh... Octavious. He's originally a Danganronpa oc, the shsl gossip, and he was made to be a villian and by God does it show. He's the most fake, back stabbing, two faced character I've ever made. He's also the most one dimensional, which was actually intensional. He has no personality beyond being a petty, lying bitch, so when he runs out of lies and rumors to spread he goes into an existential crisis about how he has virtually no identity until he makes some new lie up about some random person. He's also abusive towards his younger sibling Aspyn, whom he has both physically and emotionally scarred. And, the icing on the "fuck this guy" cake, he's incredibly obsessive over his "wife" Melissa, who wants nothing to do with him and never even dated him, let alone married him. Basically he's a horrible, lying, abusive stalker. He also dresses exclusively in eye burn pink since the most poisonous bugs are usually brightly colored. Fuck Octavious, all my homies hate Octavious.
Next is Melissa, who honestly wasn't much better before her arc. She was raised to believe that in order to truely succeed in life, you have to ensure others fail. She, unfortunately, took that advice to heart. Get arc consisted of learning that we all can succeed together and that actively fucking other people over just made her an awful person, so she changed her behavior and tried to help people from then on out. She's incredibly meticulous, organized, and really smart. She still has issues trusting, but she's getting better. She has a crush on Octavious's younger sibling, but absolutely despises Octavious.
Aspyn is a quiet, caring individual who has no confidence both due to Octavious and just how they were raised. They are an incredibly skilled doctor, however, managing to perform amazingly in several different fields. They are, however, very defensive about thier passions, quick to insult anyone who questions them, mainly due to Octavious. They have a huge crush Melissa, but is to afraid to ask her out. Also they wear an eye patch because Octavious messed up one of thier eyes.
Hooo boy where to start with Edward. He's really inconsistent between universes, but the main constants are his power (he can trade bodies with people), him and Max getting together, him being a huge bookworm, and somehow he usually ends up being my self inserts dad???? Hos other aspects tend to change. Sometimes he's a power hungry megalomaniac who's trying to take over the world and will crush anyone and everyone who gets in his way or isn't useful to him, using his power evily to stay young forever by trading bodies with his kids and killing them when they're in his body. Other times, he's a fairly calm, if not a little cold, man whos biggest crime is the occasional tax evasion, who's power is more of a curse, causing him to stay alive forever through a series of unfortunate coincidences. Either way he's fun to write
Max is one of my favorite characters. He loves baking, his friends and family, he isn't too bright but no one holds that against him. Unfortunately, no matter which side of Edward it is, he's hopelessly in love with him, which can lead to his downfall. He's very protective of his cousin Heron, and tries to protect the innocent, which he usually doesn't end up doing thanks to evil Edwards manipulation. I also somehow failed to mention he's a plant man and flowers sprout wherever he walks and he can control plants but I couldn't find a good way to fit that in naturally.
Heron is half a plant man, in the worst possible way. He has rose vines instead of blood, which feels exactly how you think it would. Magic keeps his alive luckily, but it's unbelievably painful. Most of him and Max's family died when they were young, and unlike Mac who ended up on the streets, Heron ended up in an orphanage, where he learned at a young age that he shouldn't get close to anyone because if he does, they'd die. He genuinely believes that, and the only person he thinks is immune, is his cousin Max, who he even still expects to drop dead. Heron mainly fights by breaking his skin so his vines will grow rapidly and trap and kill his attacker, which looking back is uh. Kinda symbolic. I didn't do that on purpose but it fits
Eden is an angel, who was outcasted from heaven after being framed for a crime they didn't commit. They don't understand how humans work, but is trying thier best to fit in. He's one of the few beings Heron trusts, and even still Heron doesn't trust them much because of Eden's ability, being able to control holy flames. Eden is stoic and aloof, with an odd sense of humor. He insists that him baking using his holy flames is a form of training. Despite them claiming to be above human emotions, they very much are not above them and he is actually quite emotional.
Avocado is one of Herons old friends, who fell victim to Herons "luck" (aka they died). They are a drider (basically spider centaur) who came from a large family of drider thieves. They are very quiet and kind, which they use to thier advantage, since one would thing they'd steal small objects from people's houses or pickpocket them, which Avocado very much does. While they're fairly weak in combat thier thieving skills are not to be underestimated.
Grape is Avocados older sibling, and they are very serious and quite rude. Grape wants to kill Heron to avenge thier sibling, but ends up getting caught robbing the wrong person and ends up having to join the person's kids adventuring party.
Apple is the oldest drider sibling, and ends up taking a motherly role for all of the younger kids. They had to grow up incredibly fast, and has to make all of the hard decisions in place of thier dying father. Desperately needs a break.
There's more spider siblings but there isn't much info on them
Both Sherry and Theodore Poser are mainly just there because I have them really fun designs and don't really have a personality. Sherry's kinda hard to draw though
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jewish-privilege · 5 years
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In October 2015, I found myself in a frightening situation: My name and face on a Neo-Nazi website identifying me as a Jew along with several hundred other Jews in politics, civics, and philanthropy. The website, which I will not name, warned its readers that Jews were too influential in American life; that we were a corruptive influence on America. While it didn’t advocate actually killing me, I was marked as a person to be silenced.
“How likely are these people to actually kill me?” I asked the expert at the Southern Poverty Law Center, an anti-hate group that researches white supremacist groups. I had called them seeking answers. My husband was sitting beside me, his face full of fear. I felt a tiny kick, a flutter inside me, my hands dropping to my belly. “I should probably mention that I am 8 months pregnant.”
There was a pause at the end of the line. “It’s very rare for these threats to escalate offline,” the nice man began. “They want to scare you. They want to scare you so much you decide that you never want to write again. That’s their goal. What you decide to do next is a personal decision.”
You can see that I decided to keep writing. But thinking back on the advice he gave me, it almost seems quaint: In the four years since those threats, especially since the 2016 election, white supremacists spewing anti-Semitic hatred have marched in Charlottesville chanting “Jews will not replace us,” shot up synagogues in Pittsburgh and California, and murdered gay Jewish student Blaze Bernstein. Anti-Semitic assaults are up 105% since 2017, according to the Anti-Defamation League’s annual audit on American anti-Semitism. More Jews have been killed in anti-Semitic violence around the world in 2018 than in the last several decades, according to the Kantor Center, based out of Tel Aviv University, which researches and analyzes global anti-Semitism. In New York City, a major center of Jewish culture and life, the NYPD has reported an 82% spike in anti-Semitic hate crimes in 2019. In fact, Jews are reporting the highest number of religion-based hate crimes — this is particularly troubling given that Jews are only approximately 2.2% of the U.S. adult population.
And while the majority of incidents and assaults are committed by white supremacists on the right, there has been a concerning spike in incidents and rhetoric from the left wing, too...
As a child growing up in Boston, I knew anti-Semitism existed. I even experienced it from time to time — including when my childhood synagogue was defaced with a swastika. But overall I felt safe in America... I was grateful for a country that had provided Jews with peace and prosperity. America was a rare safe place for us.
Today, that’s different. The baby I was pregnant with is now a thriving, rambunctious toddler. But when we tour Jewish preschools, my first question isn’t about education philosophy, recess or student teacher ratios — it’s always about security. In just a few short years we’ve gone from history to fear.
To understand what can be done, first we need to understand what it is: Anti-Semitism is the hatred of Jews as a distinct people, as opposed to anti-Judaism that targets our religious beliefs and practices. Anti-semitism is a conspiracy theory. It depicts Jews as a cabal secretly controlling the world for evil ends, hurting innocent people to further greedy, cruel agendas. How those agendas manifest changes based on your worldview. If you are far left, it may be that Jews are imperialists who start wars to enrich themselves. If you’re a white nationalist, it’s that Jews are the ringleaders of the White Genocide. If you’re Minister Louis Farrakhan, it’s that Jews were the secret orchestrators of the trans-Atlantic slave trade.
Anti-Semitism is an ancient, chameleonic monster. It adapts to circumstances and seemingly new excuses for age-old prejudices to take hold. This is especially true in periods of political and economic insecurity.
...It doesn't help that we are also living in an era when conspiracy theories can so easily spread (from anti-Obama birtherism to Pizzagate to QAnon). President Trump and his cohorts on the far right capitalize and promote them, fomenting hatred and division through fake news and an assault on the truth. They accuse prominent Jews like George Soros of treacherous crimes, while consorting with and justifying white supremacists and their actions (“very fine people” Trump called them.). They act shocked and appalled when fear mongering, the mainstream legitimization of white nationalists, and dangerously lax gun control leave them with blood on their hands (as it did at Pittsburgh's Tree of Life synagogue).
And yet while I fear anti-Semitism on the right will lead to more violence, I fear anti-Semitism on the left will cause that violence and hate to go unchallenged. As American Jews face rising hate crimes and domestic terrorism, progressives have grappled with a string of unsettling scandals. At first, it was the way left wing groups downplayed anti-Semitism. In the wake of the 2016 election, for example, the Women’s March conspicuously left anti-Semitism off its unity principles, while left wing groups erased it as a core issue in Charlottesville, and were silent during hundreds of JCC bomb threats. Then it got worse. The anti-Semitism scandal surrounding Women’s March leadership unfolded over several tense months, during which they publicly associated with anti-Semitic Farrakhan and engaged in anti-Semitic dog whistling and bullying.
This controversy was followed by statements by freshman Representative Ilhan Omar, in which she fell into anti-Semitic tropes referencing dual loyalty, foreign allegiance, and Jewish money in her criticisms of Israel. Omar had many defenders who dismissed the charges because Omar herself faces Islamophobia and racism. But such tropes do feed the beast. As Ilhan Omar struggled to contain criticism and put forth multiple apologies for her comments, David Duke, the Grand Wizard of the KKK, came to her defense dubbing her the “Most Important Member of Congress.” It’s not to say that Omar should be held accountable for the words of David Duke. But it does indicate the way anti-Semitism — be it from the left or the right — can connect to amplify the threat.
While the Women’s March has taken positive steps to mend fences, like expanding Jewish leadership in the organization and including Jewish women in their Unity Principles, and Omar and the New York Times have apologized, the situations have led to increased division as anti-Semitism continues to spread, and becomes a political wedge issue, all of which creates increased danger for the Jewish community. In a time of increased concern about Jewish security, these scandals have had a devastating emotional impact on the Jewish community. We were taught by our grandmothers to watch for signs of danger — hateful words from across the political spectrum is one of them.
Over the past three years, I have seen anti-Semitism break and undermine strong community relationships and budding movements for justice. This what anti-Semitism does: It attacks democracy and transparency, giving authoritarian actors scapegoats for national problems. It endangers women, people of color, and immigrants as it strengthens and animates white nationalism, xenophobia, and extremist movements.
American Jews know this intrinsically and are frightened. The jump from hate speech to exterminatory violence has been a short one in the history of global Jewry. Many of us were taught about the dangers of anti-Semitism and how quickly it could rise against us from very young ages, especially for those of us who had family who were Holocaust survivors or who endured violence against Jews in the Middle East or Soviet Union. We need Americans to listen to our fear and take a stand.
The first step is to call it out when we see it in our houses of worship, living rooms, libraries, college campuses and kindergartens. This doesn’t mean we dismiss or “cancel” our friends, families, colleagues, and community leaders who engage in anti-Semitism. It means we tell them they are wrong. We educate. Jewish history is over 5,000 years old, and learning what narratives have been used to oppress Jews can be lifesaving. And then, let’s build relationships between communities that are under attack and frightened.
...This is what we need to do for each other: Come together to fight not just anti-Semitism but racism, misogyny, transphobia, homophobia, ableism, Islamophobia, and xenophobia. If we learn each other’s histories, warning signs and dangers and fight for each other, we can make the monsters afraid of us. 
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