this post is literally just me complaining about an obscure spider man spinoff comic from 2006 for like a thousand words. Don't read it. I'm serious.

So i read the series amazing spider-girl because i was on a spider kick. I didn't want to go to theaters to watch across the spiderverse so i'm waiting on a dvd release or something that would allow me to watch it for no money and still get that nice and crisp 1080p.

So i read amazing spider-girl. It was a lot better than I was expecting. Not, you know, legendarily good. But better than you'd think for a comic spinoff starring a girl in 2006. and here's the kicker. It wasn't ultra hypersexualized. Amazing W for american comic books compared to japanese manga.

(Also a couple issues were about mutants as a classic comic paper-thin metaphor for being gay (one issue was quite literally titled The Closet) that was, again, surprisingly good. Again, not great, but like way better than you'd expect from a product of its time and culture)

And then I got to the spider-girl equivalent of the clone saga. It was actually pretty neat. There's just one clone, and it never actually comes out and says who the clone is. So there's two May Parkers now. One is a clone and one isn't, big identity crisis dealie (and actually there's this abandoned idea where they both end up with both sets of memories at the same time and now they don't know whos the clone or who was the one raised by the parkers and who was left in a french tube for 16 years). Neat. then peter becomes the green goblin for a minute and they fight A Battle In The Mind Palace, which is weird but fine. (Oddly, the green goblin is way more accepting of the concept of having two daughters than peter. He even calls peter out on it?)

But then we get to the fun part. Both of the Mays survive, and one of them, who we're gonna call April (even though she doesn't name herself that for a few issues after this) for simplicity's sake, has cool symbiote powers, was basically born yesterday, and doesn't quite understand the concept of empathy. In other words, a home run character. She's even fucking Blue! Fucking bang up job, lads, we got an all time classic!

And then we get to that classic angst. Like i said earlier, peter is not on board with the concept of having two daughters. But may is like "can we keep her?" and the other options are letting an emotionally unstable Blue girl out into the world unsupervised (unacceptable) or just... i dunno, killing her? So clearly he has to keep april in his house. He fuckin hates her for it though. Like shit dude, the unearned hostility. And may is trying (not quite as hard as she could be but trying nonetheless) to give april a normal-adjacent home life and a loving family (something that I believe all humans freshly spawned from french tubes deserve). MJ's sorta in the middle, doing that token mom thing of being like "yeah!" and then not actually doing anything to help. So april is stuck in this loop of a family that at best tolerates her and at worst actively despises her (and since she has memories from may she's watching the family she remembers loving her for her whole life doing this to her). In fact, she chooses her name out of spite because she feels like everyone sees her as an inferior copy of the girl they actually care about (april comes before may).

I mean, this is great. You've really what looks to be a great character. So I was utterly devastated to learn that she Goes Insane From The Stress and becomes a villain. However, she Learns The Value Of Love later on and sacrifices herself to save may in a typical comic redemption arc.

:(

So, normally, if you don't like how a thing went in a popular story (especially something modern), you could reasonably expect to see some people agree with you. Some of them might even be good writers. That's when the magic happens. So I look on Archive Of Our Own, and what do I find, dear reader--what do I find? Nothing.

Worse than nothing, actually, I find several father-daughter incest smut fics.

(To be fair, actually, I found one fic that covered some of this, but that was like 1k words long.)

In conclusion, shit is wack.