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lonely-l1lypad · 25 days

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𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭.

Here are some points I suggest everyone on a self-improvement journey should read and think about, whether you are just starting or if you are well into your journey<3

These are things I've thought about for a while, and I tried to keep them as concise as possible. If you want me to expand further on anything or need advice, you are more than welcome to send me an ask!

You can’t hate yourself into something you love.

For you to actually become a version of yourself that you love, you have to love the version of yourself that you started with. I can’t stress this enough – you can’t hate yourself into something you love. You have to start trying to love the original version of you, with all your faults and imperfections. Even if you think you’re fat and ugly. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with trying to be a better version of yourself, but that doesn’t mean you have to hate the old version. If you start your self-improvement journey hating yourself, and all you can think about is trying to become this romanticized version of yourself that you have in your head, I guarantee you that you will still hate yourself no matter what you do. In your mind you will still be the first version of yourself that you hated. You have to try loving the first version of yourself. You have to put in the work from day one. It’s not going to be easy, and it might take some time, but you owe it to yourself. At the end of the day, you’re the only person you can depend on. If you can’t love your appearance, try loving yourself for what’s in your heart and your brain. Love yourself for trying to be healthier, for showing up for yourself and others, for being kind, for being a good person, and so on. You are so much more than your appearance. Please start trying to love yourself.

ii.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

This might seem like the most obvious thing ever, but you’d be surprised how many people expect to see results while putting in zero work. For something to change, you actually have to change something. It doesn’t have to be anything drastic, in the beginning it can be something that seems very insignificant. What matters is that you do something. Find the area of your life you’re most desperate to change and find one little thing you can do to improve it. And remember, be realistic about it – if you want to work out more, don’t let your first goal be to work out for an hour every day. This relates more to my third point, but again – you have to change something, whether it is your routine, mindset, or something else, for you to see change in your life.

iii.

Take little baby steps – a little is better than nothing.

You cannot wake up one day, decide to change everything about yourself, and expect your new routine to stick. We are creatures of habit, and everyone who has had a sudden extreme change in their life knows how difficult it is, regardless of whether the change was for good or for bad. That is why taking baby steps is so important. I recommend you try to find out, through journaling or whatever your preferred method of self-reflection is, what you want to change, what you want to improve. Then you find a small thing you can do in each area, or even just one, that you can try to start doing. One little thing. One little thing that you can actually commit to and manage to do every day, or at least regularly. When you’ve actually managed to change your routine, and implemented a new habit, you can find something else, something a little bigger, to do. By doing it this way, and not implementing drastic changes from the beginning, you’re setting yourself up for success. If you make unrealistic expectations for yourself, you’re only going to be disappointed in yourself and lose all motivation.

To expand on the example I gave in my last point: if your goal is to start working out, and you expect yourself to suddenly workout for an hour every day, you’re going from zero to a hundred. Your first goal should be to do something almost every day, and that something can be a 5-minute stretch one day, and a 10-minute walk another day. That’s much more sustainable and realistic. Once you get into the habit of doing that, you can start setting higher expectations for yourself.

iv.

Fake it till you make it.

You won’t suddenly wake up one day with amazing confidence. By now we’ve all probably heard about Beyonce’s alter ego Sasha Fierce, but truly, there is something to it. You don’t have to create an alter ego for yourself, but you do have to embody the qualities you wish to have. If you want to become a confident person, you have to pretend to be one, even if your knees are shaking and you’re terrified. These qualities you wish to have aren’t something you suddenly gain, they are something you train yourself into. Think of them like muscles. If you want to squat a hundred kilos, you won’t get there overnight, you have to train squats with heavy weights. For you to be a confident person, you have to practise and pretend you already are one. Maybe not the best analogy, but I hope you understand what I’m trying to say. In every situation you are in, act as the person you want to become, until acting like that person is your second nature.

Stop worrying if other people like you – do you like them?

Instead of worrying if people like you or not, start asking yourself whether you like them. There’s a saying – “you can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there will always be someone who hates peaches.” No matter how good of a person you are, how nice, how kind, how wonderful you are – there are people who just won’t like you, not matter what. And you should not care about that. It is exhausting to try to be a person everyone likes, and it is quite frankly not possible. Stop trying to impress everyone and start asking yourself if you like them. For the longest time I was sad when a group of girls I know didn’t invite me to their parties, until I had a realisation that I literally don’t like them. I wanted to be “cool enough” to get an invitation, but I didn’t think about the fact that if I did get an invitation, I would be miserable the whole time because I don’t like them. Start living for yourself. Make decisions on your own terms and for yourself, and not to please other people who don’t care or like you anyway. Living for yourself and not caring about what other people think is almost like a superpower.

That's it for now, thank you so much for reading<3

Love, Lily

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khajiithaswitchywares · 6 months

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Go hiking. Fake your death. Become one with the forest. Elevate to forest god. The simple things.

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theambitiouswoman · 3 months

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Green Flags in Communication 💚💬

"I want to know when I hurt your feelings."

This shows they are willing to understand and acknowledge the impact of their actions.

"I don't want you to feel alone in this."

This shows empathy and indicates that the person is supportive and does not want the person to deal with issues alone.

"I've been struggling with ___”

This demonstrates vulnerability and trust, as the person is open about their struggles.

"How have you been feeling about ___? I know it's been on your mind a lot."

This shows concern for the other person's issues or worries, showing that they are listening and care about what's important to the other person.

"I feel __ when you __; are you open to trying __ next time?"

This is an example of constructive communication.

"What do you need from me when this happens with your family?"

This shows awareness and sensitivity to the persons family dynamics and a willingness to provide support.

"I appreciate when you ___.”

Expressing appreciation is vital for positive reinforcement and acknowledging the efforts and qualities of the other person.

"I didn't handle that well."

This is a sign of self-awareness and accountability, recognizing one's own mistakes and being open to learning and growth.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong to say that. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."

Shows you are able to apologize genuinely and a commitment to improving behavior.

"Tell me more about that; I'm really interested in hearing your perspective."

Indicates a genuine interest in the other person's thoughts and feelings.

"I noticed you seemed a bit off today. Is everything okay?"

It shows you are attentive to the other person's emotional state and a readiness to provide support.

"I'm here for you, no matter what you need."

Offers unconditional support, creating a sense of security in the relationship.

"I love how passionate you are about your hobbies. It's inspiring to see."

Expresses admiration for the other person's interests.

"Let's work on a solution together. What do you think would be fair?"

Focusing on collaboration rather than conflict.

"I trust your judgment on this."

Trust and respect for the other person's decision-making abilities.

"Your happiness is important to me. Let's make sure you're taking time for yourself."

Prioritizes the other person's happiness and emphasizes the importance of self care.

"It's okay to feel that way. Do you want to talk about it more?"

Validates the other person's feelings.

"I appreciate how you handled that situation. You're really good at ___."

Praises specific strengths or skills, boosting the other person's self-esteem.

"I know we disagree, but I respect your point of view."

Acknowledges differences in opinion while still maintaining respect and understanding.

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windonthewaters · 6 months

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#that girl #it girl #pink pilates princess #girly blog #girly girl #high value woman #leveled up mindset #self love journey #dream girl journey #level up tips #green juice girl #women in luxury

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digitalgirlguide · 2 months

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BECOMING THE WOMAN YOU WANT

Imagine the woman you want to become. Envision her embracing a lifestyle woven with healthy habits that radiate positivity and well-being. Picture her waking up early, greeting the day with gratitude, and setting intentions that shape her mindset for success.

In her daily routine, she prioritizes self-care—nourishing her body with wholesome meals, staying hydrated, and indulging in regular exercise that she genuinely enjoys. Whether it's a morning yoga session, an evening run, or a dance class, physical activity is not a chore but a celebration of what her body can achieve.

This woman values the power of mindfulness. Picture her taking moments throughout the day to breathe deeply, practice meditation, or simply appreciate the present. It's in these mindful pauses that she finds clarity, resilience, and a profound connection with herself.

As she moves through her day, healthy habits extend into her work life. This woman is organized and efficient, using time management techniques to tackle tasks without feeling overwhelmed. Regular breaks and moments of reflection help her maintain focus and creativity.

Evenings are a sanctuary for winding down. She cherishes a good night's sleep, prioritizing rest as a cornerstone of her well-being. Unplugging from screens, engaging in calming activities, and maintaining a consistent sleep schedule contribute to the rejuvenation her body and mind need.

Remember, becoming her doesn't happen overnight. It's a gradual process, a collection of intentional choices and persistent efforts. Start incorporating these healthy habits, step by step, and watch as you evolve into the empowered, balanced woman you aspire to be. 🌿💪🌺🌟

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prettieinpink · 6 months

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♡ PRETTIER HIERARCHY ♡

HAPPY 1.2k+ TO PRETTIEINPINK! Thank you guys for the support, here’s a lil gift from me to you.

If you don’t want to read all of this, I created a hierarchy of everything you need to do to glow up, right at the end!!! But I recommend reading everything first <3

I’ve been trying to ‘glow up’ like forever, but there was no actual content out there that helped me glow up. Most people sugarcoated, or their lifestyles of glowing up just weren't sustainable for me. So, I created this post for everyone planning to glow up or maximise their prettiness!

DISCLAIMER – THIS POST IS NOT DETAILED. I wanted to do a simple outline to give you guys an idea of what to do to maximise your pretty. A little help to plan, especially as we enter 2024, but I’ll expand on these individual topics in the future.

GRADE 1 – HEALTH

Being healthy can make you SO pretty. Being healthy is the foundation. There are other ways to be physically healthy, but after doing these 4 the rest usually fall in place. Here are some simple ways to become healthier, and then eventually prettier!

HEALTHY EATING.

I'm not going to go super deep into this, as no diet fits everyone + Please consult with your doctor before taking any extreme advice. Though, I'll tell you a bit of things that helped me !!

Stop drinking soda. Please, it's so unhealthy and it's full of so many sugars. Even the ones that are 0 cal, have weird chemicals that I don't trust. Many more alternatives taste just as good, like coconut water, herbal drinks, smoothies etc! Especially because nowadays most large calories and sugar intakes are from sugary drinks

Stop restricting, moderate it. I am a big fan of dairy, yoghurt, milk, and cheese, I love it all. However I acknowledge that dairy isn’t the healthiest, so instead I always ensure I'm eating in moderation. E.g I put a tablespoon of shredded cheese in my omelettes instead of a handful. You will enjoy healthy eating so much, but only if you're not restricting.

Have one serving of fruit, vegetables, or both with each meal. It provides so many good nutrients, makes you fuller and keeps you hydrated. Measure with your palm to ensure you’re eating enough.

Know that just because one food has fewer calories than the other, does not mean it is the healthiest. I struggled so much with this, especially because many weight loss accounts will mention this, but it is so wrong. White bread has fewer calories than brown bread, but brown bread is higher in nutritional value.

Plan snacks. Planning snacks for throughout the day, instead of spontaneously eating is so much better. I recommend this for anyone who gets hungry during the day but not enough for a meal (like me!)

Drink more water. Not 1L a day, because it is so much more ideal for you to have a glass of water with each meal + when you feel thirsty.

Start educating yourself. This is as much as I can tell you, im not a nutritionist or a dietitian but if you plan to ensure that healthy eating becomes your lifestyle, educating yourself is essential!!

EXERCISING.

Once again, I'm only going to go surface level with this because it is only based on my personal experience + Consult with your doctor before doing anything extreme.

Start aiming for 5k+ steps. I see a lot of people advertise 10k+ steps as the standard, or what's active, but it's not sustainable If you're a busy person with a sedentary life or a beginner at exercise it is gonna be hard to sustain that. But walking is so good for you and simple too.

Join your local sports! Such a fun way to socialise while still exerting energy.

If you can't do that for whatever reason, there are many ways to exercise at home. Research and pick a workout that you like and is sustainable. E.g. jump rope, pilates, home exercises, weightlifting, biking

Start standing more, it exerts energy. While very little, it still is very good.

That's it, but remember to always start small with exercising, and RESEARCH!

BETTER SLEEP

To me, it doesn’t matter how much sleep a person is getting, but much more rather the quality of said sleep. So, here are some tricks and tips to get better at sleeping!!

Investing in a good quality pillow is so good for your sleep, the more comfortable you are, the better + it reduces the chances of poor posture or hump necks

Research about different sleeping positions, as some positions at night promote back pain, difficulty breathing or poor posture.

Start sleeping in complete darkness. Remove all sources of light or invest in good light-blocking curtains OR binders. Though, binders seem to be much more effective but are more pricey. If you cannot do either of that, buy a good sleeping mask.

Sleep in the cold. Your body easily falls asleep if your environment is cold, and you’re less likely to wake up in the middle of the night.

It is ideal for you to stop using devices an hour or two before bed, but if it is not sustainable for you, wear red blue-light-blocking glasses instead of clear ones. Red ones are more effective.

Avoid large physical or mental tasks before bed, use that time to unwind and tell your body it's time to go to sleep.

Avoid napping for longer than 30 minutes, or it can disrupt the sleep you have at night.

Go to sleep at similar times every day. If you go to sleep earlier or later than this, you will ruin your sleep schedule and feel groggy.

I expand more here.

ORAL HEALTH

This is a step many people will neglect, but the most important in my opinion. Your teeth are the only body part that fails to regenerate after a certain age. Here's how I take care of mine!

Brush your teeth for longer. Brushing your teeth should not be a sped-up process, put actual thought into it.

Start flossing. Floss removes plaque, and reduces the chances of your teeth yellowing! Do this ideally after each meal.

Brush your teeth before you eat. Brushing my teeth is the first thing I do when I wake up because brushing your teeth is supposed to protect your teeth from the food, not wash away your food.

If you have the means, buy an electric toothbrush, as this gets in the little nooks and crannies that a regular one cannot.

Use a tongue scraper or your toothbrush to get rid of any bacteria on your tongue.

Use straws to drink coffee or any heavily coloured drinks. This avoids the premature yellowing of teeth. Make sure you put the straw on the side of your mouth to avoid your teeth.

Use good mouthwash. A total game-changer, makes your breath fresher and your gums healthier.

If need be, definitely use a purple teeth serum as a whitening treatment.

GRADE 2: STYLE

I do not mean literal clothes and style, that's in grade 3. This is all about basic grooming and such. This is 2nd most important, especially if you're somebody who’s never been invested in beauty.

SKINCARE

Get a basic skincare routine, cleanser and moisturiser.

If you have other skincare concerns e.g. dry skin, hyperpigmentation, acne, or blemishes, invest in a serum.

Avoid touching your face frequently.

Wash makeup brushes & pillowcases often.

Dermaplaning to help skincare absorb better.

Use sunscreen!

HAIRCARE

Invest in a good shampoo and conditioner for your hair type.

Use a good hair oil, it doesn’t have to be for growth, but just for nourishing your scalp

Sleep with a good quality bonnet on.

Find which type of hairbrush works the best on you!

Use warm water to remove product build up and dirt, but use cool water to rinse.

Buy spray suncsreen to put on your scalp during hot weather.

Once again, research. Hair is just too much of a broad topic for me to thoroughly talk about.

EYEBROW & LASHES

Trim your eyebrows regularly to avoid too many stray hairs

Tint your eyebrows and lashes. If you already have dark eyelashes and brows, try a lighter look. I seem to prefer a dark brown look to a black

Invest in a good lash & brow serum or use any oil

Don't use Vaseline on your eyelashes.

Limit how much you wear mascara.

I talk more about this here.

BODY & HANDS

Have a daily shower routine which consists of washing, exfoliating and moisturising your skin.

Using scented products is such a game changer, smelling good is like being a magnet

Doing manicures, my routine is a cuticle scrub, file, buff, polish, paint then cuticle oil.

Shave on the areas you want to. Having smooth skin is nice, but to ensure your shave lasts longer, watch a video.

I post about creating a good shower routine here.

LIPS

Invest in a good, portable lip balm. I prefer the ones that burn your lips to give it a more fuller effect

Make your lip scrub. Sugar, honey and turmeric are my go-to. Helps remove dead skin.

If you have hyperpigmentation around the lips, use glycolic acid, only a little.

GRADE 3 – FASHION

My favourite grade, because it is so fun and focuses more on the aesthetic side of things. However, they're not essential, which makes it all the more fun!

CLOTHES

I have a post about wardrobe essentials here.

Find out about what season colours you are. This helps with using colours in fashion to enhance. ( if you don't like your colours it is okay, it doesn’t change much if you do not wear them)

Figuring out your undertone colours for jewellery.

Figure out what works for your figure. Experiment with necklines, bottom length etc.

Find out your general style too, what you feel confident in and more assured.

MAKEUP

Research and only watch tutorials of women who look like you (trust me).

Dear Peachie has a bunch of videos of how makeup works, for beginners to more advanced artists!

Then make your signature look for every using your knowledge.

FRAGRANCE

Invest in a good eau de parfum and eau de toilette. Cheap fragrances suck.

Invest in a good-scented lotion. My favourite brand is Vaseline.

Using a good nice fabric softener for laundry makes you feel and smell fresh

Using an expensive scented body wash doesn’t matter, invest in a good body lotion.

HAIR STYLING

Hairstyles that enhance your face shape, not shield it.

Having a simple signature look for everyday

Experimenting with your hair is ideal, but if you can't for whatever reason once again research.

GRADE 4 – PERSONALITY

The way you seem to others can make you so much prettier. Fake it till you make it as always~

POSTURE

Having good posture makes you stand out, makes you look prettier and is generally good for your health

Chin is parallel to the floor, shoulders are down and relaxed, rib cage is elevated, pelvis is tucked in, your knees straight and flexed, and the weight on your feet should be in the center.

You can stretch for good posture, there are many videos on this on YouTube.

Ensure your sleeping position is promoting good posture, not poor.

Buy a back brace to reinforce good posture.

BODY LANGUAGE

Learn how to move your body during conversations to seem more self-respected and confident.

Train your facial expressions for different situations, but especially for taking photos.

There are tons of books and videos on this, won’t expand because this is all about how you want others to perceive you.

ELOQUENCE

Improve the way you communicate with others. Be fluent and clear to understand

Expand your vocabulary, know how to substitute words on the spot and make sentences.

Knowing what to say in like any and every conversation makes people like you more, and the best way to be more eloquent is just practice.

There are so many good books about this.. read.

GRADE 5 – MIND

Personally, having a good mindset does boost your self-perception of your prettiness + being happier in general makes you more inclined to take care of yourself = being more pretty!!!

MENTAL HEALTH

Start journaling as a way to organise your thoughts and to truly analyse your emotions. There are a lot of journaling prompts on Pinterest and such!

Meditation as a way to clear the mind when needed is so good. There are a bunch more meditations for other purposes though like body image, productivity, focus or just general relaxation.

Go to therapy, or just have at least one person you can talk to when life becomes tough.

Cut back on social media. There's misinformation, trolls and a lot of content that isn't nourishing your mind.

Get some sun! Simple and doable, but has a huge effect on the body. It can improve the current mood. Wear sunscreen.

Start learning how to process situations, instead of bypassing the emotions that come with them.

Start surrounding yourself with like-minded people. Seriously, being around people who are just too different is draining.

MINDSET

Embrace growth and reject all forms of comfort. Being uncomfortable with something is growth.

Don’t do things because you ‘have’ to do this, do them because they benefit you and see it in that way. E.g ‘I’m going to clean my room because I deserve a clean place to rest and work’ instead of ‘I have to clean my room’

Become detached. Stop letting everything that happens in your life affect you, start observing instead of consuming.

Self validates yourself. Tam Kaur did a wonderful video on this that I think everyone should watch.

Stop believing that everything and everyone is out to get you. Your subconscious mind believes this, do not feed it, starve it.

There's a lot to say about mindset, but I recommend watching some mindset YouTubers who explain everything in depth.

and now,,,, here's a ANOTHER gift from lanny because u read her post. And liked it. And reblogged it. And followed her.. pleaseee

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honeytonedhottie · 27 days

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how to stop being toxic⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⭐️

the point of this post in general is a reminder to be self aware so that then u can become an individual that u are proud of ✨

SELF AWARENESS ;

everyone has traits in themselves that they aren't necessarily proud of and thats okay. its only natural bcuz we are humans. whats important is that u are able to acknowledge it and work on it.

toxic traits and behaviors stem from things like our own insecurities, conditioning, our egos and a multitude of other things. when we aren't toxic we free ourselves up for better people and experiences.

SELF ASSESSMENT ACTIVITY ;

do some shadow work, dig deeper and do some journalling to rly assess some of ur personality traits whether u classify them as a negative or a positive trait. some examples of traits include

having trouble taking accountability (shifting blame)

once you've classified that trait, write a sentence that explains why that particular trait is/isnt toxic. so for this particular trait ur sentence could look something like

trouble with taking accountability for myself and my actions is a toxic trait because it displays my inability to be responsible for myself/admit fault. this can jeopardize relationships and opportunities for me, it can also hinder my growth as an individual.

just because you notice toxic behaviors within yourself, it doesn't mean that u are a bad person. in fact, since u can acknowledge it and wanna improve it, that shows that u are a good person.

HOW TO ACTUALLY STOP ;

look for the source of toxic behaviors that u display. some ways that can help u to identify what makes u act in that way is by seeing a therapist who can help u to dissect and understand urself, intentional journalling etc.

when u find urself in situations in which u think that ur being toxic, u can practice mindfulness and nip it in the bud. the more that u practice doing this the easier and more natural it'll feel.

be a good listener

show urself compassion

start journalling/going to therapy

listen to feedback

listen to feedback from others from an impartial view. dont take criticism or negative feedback personally. take the feedback that u get and apply it cuz thats one of the many ways u can grow.

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blissfullyecho · 1 year

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how to create a leveling up/dream girl/rebranding plan 🤍🍸🖤

establish your aesthetic

first thing’s first, you need to know where you want to go in life and what is your “aesthetic”? do you want to be giving “classy, businesswoman”? what about “nyc socialite”? of course these are just examples, but you should know what type of girl you want to embody. remember, you don’t have to fit a narrative, but you should have a general “aesthetic” that you want to be associated with. even if it’s 50 million different aesthetics, it’s whatever makes you, you.

visualize yourself/life

get inspired by making a vision board (physical or digital) and add to your board (if digital) daily. i find that this helps you stay in alignment with where you want to be in the future. you have to stay in that frequency and remind yourself of what’s next to come… because this new life is what’s next to come.

start with habits

please refer to my “starting your leveling up journey” post, but basically— you should create 1-3 habits for each of your goals and work on them until they become second nature. then when you’re ready, start implementing more habits that are aligned with your goals.

create routines with your habits

can you incorporate some of these new habits into a morning or evening routine? we all know that routines are important— they almost become our personalities and they set the tone for the day and night, and even the next day. for me, i know i’m only inspired to exercise in the morning around 10am, so exercise is part of my morning routine.

create daily + weekly goals

let’s say part of your journey is learning a new language. a daily goal could be learning one new vocabulary word in that language. your weekly goal could be knowing the alphabet in that language. use this method for all of your goals.

don’t overwhelm yourself with goals, routines, and habits

start slow; don’t overwhelm yourself. if you want to work on one goal at a time, then work on that one goal. burnout is real and it’s very hard to get back into the swing of things afterwards. i understand most of us are impatient when we just want to be a different version of ourselves, but it’s going to take some adjusting. i suggest not working on more than 3 things at once, but if you can work on more, go ahead

be a part of a community to keep you accountable

tumblr and facebook groups in my opinion are the best ways you can connect with other women who are working on the same thing. you can inspire one another, bounce ideas off of one another, and it’s super fun. you might want to even document your journey online.

set milestones and have a reward system

let’s say you would like to lose or gain weight, no matter the number, focus on 5-10 pound increments. when each milestone is successfully completed, reward yourself with something nice. maybe it’s getting your nails done, or splurging on a product that everyone on tiktok keeps talking about. apply this to any of your goals where there are milestones to get to.

don’t waste the day

you should not have any “zero days” meaning… you should be doing at least one thing everyday to reach a goal(s) you have. it doesn’t matter if one goal was to maintain a more organized, clean environment— do your dishes, set the trash out, clean up the hair from the bathroom sink, etc.

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coquettecoregirl · 4 months

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Controversial Opinion but one thing that I learned in the last few months of 2023 was to not accommodate my social anxiety at any cost. If you're someone like me, whose social anxiety is caused by fear of messing up and just not being used to socializing, then this is for you. Do not indulge or adapt to your anxiety, instead just do it. I know it seems ridiculous, but really you have to just expose yourself to what you're anxious and scared of, which in this case is socializing or basically doing anything publicly.

Exposure=Knowledge=practice=confidence=less anxiety because once you're exposed to your fear, it'll get easier. Sure, it may takes weeks, months and maybe even years, but you will eventually gain confidence and get better at it. For instance, let's say you suck at doing pull ups. But you practice it for 30 days and eventually you will see improvements. It's the same thing with social behavior, you won't get better at it if you don't participate in socializing. You have to show up, even if it's just for 5 minutes, even if it's just walking to the grocery shop. You need little steps to achieve confidence and fuck social anxiety up. If your anxiety is telling you not to do it because you'll look dumb or ugly or whatever, it's lying to you. You need to do it anyways. Literally cannot explain this enough, do it anyways, even if you're bad at it, even if you don't know how to do it. Do it anyways.

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being-addie · 1 year

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Healthy habits I'm developing for 2023

It's already April and I'm still in that rut of sleeping at 2am, buying a quick fix of candy at the store when I have fruit at home, eating too many carbs and skipping the gym. Now, I'm getting my shit together.

It's easy to disguise bad habits with excuses. "Oh, I have exams coming up". "Work's been really draining lately". But if you don't change now, you'll be stuck in that same loop for the rest of your life.

Prioritising health:

Sleeping 7-8 hours every night: To end my absolutely atrocious amount of screen time, I've decided to delete all those distracting apps on my phone. It's hard, but worth it. Now I won't be tempted to scroll on Instagram when I should be sleeping.

Making healthy food choices: Choosing homemade granola over chocolate bars, banana bread over Nutella sandwiches, and homemade nachos over packaged chips makes a huge difference.

Working out: l go to the gym daily, but lately, I've been lazy and slacking off. So I want to start going again along with squeezing in a run in the evening. Finishing at least 8k steps every day. Moving my body in some way, whether it's dance or yoga.

Water: I have a bad habit of forgetting to drink water, even when it's right in front of me. So I've downloaded some water reminders to help me remember to drink. I've also decided to incorporate lemon honey iced tea into my diet because I'm a fiend for it.

Working smart:

Creating a to-do list: Committing to knocking off at least three things on a to-do list and gradually increasing the number of tasks.

Keeping devices away: I've started keeping my phone in my mom's room while I work, or I lock it in my cupboard so I won't get distracted, and I use extensions like WasteNoTime and StayFocusd to block unnecessary websites.

Dividing time: Making a schedule for my day, so I can divide school studies, sketching practice and homework. It is so important to block out parts of the day for morning and night routines and self-care.

Cleansing my life:

A clean workspace: Clean up my desk every day, so I can sit in an uncluttered space, and keep my racing mind calm.

Making my bed: Focusing on making sure my bed is clean first thing in the morning, so I have a place that's clean and warm after a long day.

Deleting social media: It was difficult, but I did it. Fighting the temptation to log in again is real, but I'm slowly coming to realise I don't care what people are posting on their stories, and the FOMO is slowly fading.

Toxic people: Getting rid of toxic friends, and deleting numbers and chats of people are who no longer important in my life. Having access to me is a privilege.

Self-care: Every Sunday, I'm setting aside a few hours for myself. During that time, I'll be having a long shower, deep conditioning my hair, using a scrub and exfoliator, shaving, moisturizing, and eating something nice. I'll be baking something for the rest of the week so I won't resort to junk food for dessert or snacks.

Understanding and knowing what you want in life is the first step to beginning your journey. Don't let others make you feel guilty for putting yourself first. It's your life, and ultimately, it's only you who can change it.

#self care #self improvement #self love #level up #level up journey #self love journey #glow up #college #tips and tricks #it girl #that girl #perfect #life

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femmefatalevibe · 8 months

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Femme Fatale Guide: How To Gain More Knowledge To Become More Successful, Cultured, & Wordly

Read books, articles, blogs, studies, and journals from credible & fact-checked sources

Watch & listen to evidence-based documentaries and podcasts

Take expert-backed courses and classes (from universities, industry leaders/certified organizations)

Attend forums/lectures from industry leaders museums, libraries, etc. (Virtually or in-person)

Talk to people in different fields and from different walks of life

Travel (globally, domestically, or locally), explore museums, parks, and stores in your area

Ask for feedback on your creative or skill-based projects and work; or insights from trusted people in your life on different situations in your life, from your past, or their greatest life lessons

Remain curious and diligent regarding your pursuit of knowledge. Live as a lifelong student

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sk-lumen · 4 months

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Dark femininity literally transformed my life. You can call it what you want, it's simply about embracing your darkness, letting go of "being too much" or not being "perfect". It's about setting boundaries. It's giving yourself permission to be authentic, passionate, beautifully imperfect and raw, falling shamelessly in love with yourself, and most important of all, being fiercely protective of yourself (your inner child, your vulnerability, your softness).

Ladies, you need that edge, that boundary. Without it, you're an overflowing ocean that can be easily scattered or exploited. The only way to preserve your softness is learn how to be your own guardian first and foremost; because it's not possible nor healthy to always depend on others to do it for you.

#dark femininity #dark feminine #dark feminine energy #growth mindset #glow up #level up #becoming that girl #girlblogging #writings #glow up threads #self improvement #mental health #level up tips

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theambitiouswoman · 5 months

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How To Become A Brand New Person ✨✨

Self Reflect:

Journal daily.

Think about past decisions and how they impacted your life.

Meditate regularly.

Create a vision board to visualize your goals.

Review your strengths and weaknesses.

Identify your core values and beliefs.

Figure out your passions and interests.

Think about your childhood dreams and aspirations.

Evaluate your current state of happiness and fulfillment.

Set Clear Goals:

Define specific career goals, like "Get promoted within two years."

Set health goals, like "Lose 20 pounds in six months."

Create financial goals such as "Save $10,000 for a vacation."

Establish personal development goals, like "Read 24 books in a year."

Set relationship goals, such as "Improve communication with my partner."

Define education goals, like "Complete a master's degree in three years."

Set travel goals, like "Visit five new countries in the next two years."

Create hobbies and interests goals, such as "Learn to play a musical instrument."

Set community or volunteer goals, like "Volunteer 100 hours this year."

Establish mindfulness or self-care goals, such as "Practice meditation daily."

Self Care:

Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day.

Follow a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables.

Prioritize getting 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night.

Practice in relaxation techniques like deep breathing or yoga.

Take regular breaks at work to avoid burnout.

Schedule "me time" for activities you enjoy.

Limit exposure to stressors and toxic people.

Practice regular skincare and grooming routines.

Seek regular medical check-ups and screenings.

Stay hydrated by drinking enough water daily.

Personal Development:

Read a book every month from various genres.

Attend workshops or seminars on topics of interest.

Learn a new language or musical instrument.

Take online courses to acquire new skills.

Set aside time for daily reflection and self improvement.

Seek a mentor in your field for guidance.

Attend conferences and networking events.

Start a side project or hobby to expand your abilities.

Practice public speaking or communication skills.

Do creative activities like painting, writing, or photography.

Create a Support System:

Build a close knit group of friends who uplift and inspire you.

Join clubs or organizations aligned with your interests.

Connect with a mentor or life coach.

Attend family gatherings to maintain bonds.

Be open and honest in your communication with loved ones.

Seek advice from trusted colleagues or supervisors.

Attend support groups for specific challenges (e.g., addiction recovery).

Cultivate online connections through social media.

Find a therapist or counselor for emotional support.

Participate in community or volunteer activities to meet like minded people.

Change Habits:

Cut back on sugary or processed foods.

Reduce screen time and increase physical activity.

Practice gratitude by keeping a daily journal.

Manage stress through mindfulness meditation.

Limit procrastination by setting specific deadlines.

Reduce negative self-talk by practicing self-compassion.

Establish a regular exercise routine.

Create a budget and stick to it.

Develop a morning and evening routine for consistency.

Overcome Fear and Self Doubt:

Face a specific fear head-on (example: public speaking).

Challenge your negative thoughts with positive affirmations.

Seek therapy to address underlying fears or traumas.

Take small, calculated risks to build confidence.

Visualize success in challenging situations.

Surround yourself with supportive and encouraging people.

Journal about your fears and doubts to gain clarity.

Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small.

Focus on your strengths and accomplishments.

Embrace failure as a valuable learning experience.

Embrace Change:

Relocate to a new city or country.

Switch careers or industries to pursue your passion.

Take on leadership roles in your workplace.

Volunteer for projects outside your comfort zone.

Embrace new technologies and digital tools.

Travel to unfamiliar destinations.

Start a new hobby or creative endeavor.

Change your daily routine to add variety.

Adjust your mindset to see change as an opportunity.

Seek out diverse perspectives and viewpoints.

Practice Gratitude:

Write down three things you're grateful for each day.

Express gratitude to loved ones regularly.

Create a gratitude jar and add notes of appreciation.

Reflect on the positive aspects of challenging situations.

Show gratitude by volunteering or helping others in need.

Send thank-you notes or messages to people who've helped you.

Keep a gratitude journal and review it regularly.

Share your gratitude openly during family meals or gatherings.

Focus on the present moment and appreciate the little things.

Practice gratitude even in times of adversity.

Be Patient:

Set realistic expectations for your progress.

Accept that personal growth takes time.

Focus on the journey rather than the destination.

Learn from setbacks and view them as opportunities to improve.

Celebrate small milestones along the way.

Practice self-compassion during challenging times.

Stay committed to your goals, even when progress is slow.

Keep a journal to track your personal growth.

Recognize that patience is a valuable skill in personal transformation.

Celebrate Small Wins:

Treat yourself to your favorite meal or dessert.

Reward yourself with a spa day or self-care activity.

Share your achievements with friends and loved ones.

Create a vision board to visualize your successes.

Acknowledge and congratulate yourself in a journal.

Give yourself permission to take a break and relax.

Display reminders of your accomplishments in your workspace.

Take a day off to celebrate a major milestone.

Host a small gathering to mark your achievements.

Set aside time to reflect on how far you've come.

Maintain Balance:

Set clear boundaries in your personal and work life.

Prioritize self care activities in your daily routine.

Schedule regular breaks and downtime.

Learn to say "no" when necessary to avoid overcommitment.

Evaluate your work life balance regularly.

Seek support from friends and family to avoid burnout.

Be kind to yourself and accept imperfections.

Practice mindfulness to stay present and grounded.

Revisit your priorities and adjust them as needed.

Embrace self love and self acceptance as part of your daily life.

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hypergamiss · 4 months

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I get it, women take a lot more accountability than men (imo) because society is currently set up this way. Women fill up churches, support groups, therapy, they’re purchasing more self-help books and literature than men, and there are a million pages on social media dedicated to women bettering themselves while there are barely any for men. Overall, anything related to self improvement and reflection is dominated by women. Socially and culturally speaking most parents hold their daughter more accountable than their sons. That’s why a 15 year old boy can be out galavanting late with his friends but a 20 year old woman has a strict curfew.

At some point you have to realize (as a woman) that you automatically deserve more from life and the partner that you choose because it is your birth right (imo).

Just because the majority of men are not decent humans, doesn’t mean you have to settle.

And just because you’re constantly being groomed by society to improve as a woman doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you or that you’re not good enough every time a man doesn’t know how to act right.

Lift your head high and accept the power that you hold. Stop questioning yourself every two seconds and accept that men can often do wrong. Be confident.

#hypergamous lifestyle #heaux advice #heaux tips #heauxheauxheaux #heauxlife #hypergamy #level up #spoiled heaux #spoiled gf #high maintenance

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becomingthatgirl111 · 3 months

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a piece of advice II

it's not so important how you look, it's more about how you feel, you have to start believing that you see yourself regardless of how you think you really look, it's just your perspective and you can change it.

having low self-esteem and not valuing yourself enough makes you perceive yourself as worse than you really are. you will see flaws in yourself that are insignificant or don't exist.

it is also important to take care of our physical appearance, but if you don't feel beautiful internally, no matter how many changes you make on the outside, you will never feel beautiful at all.

start feeling the way you think you would feel if you were that ideal version of you and change will happen.

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writingwithfolklore · 10 months

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Level Up Your Descriptions

I learnt a tip for resume writing that I find applies pretty well to novel writing too. Essentially, you shouldn’t write on your resume that you took orders and handled cash at the till at your restaurant job because people already know what a server does. You should write the unexpected or unique things you bring to the job.

Same with writing descriptions in fiction. There are certain things that people are going to automatically assume about others, about a place, about a thing. For example, you wouldn’t say, “she grabbed out brown coffee” or “the car drove on four wheels.” Because when we think coffee, we already think brown/beans, and when we think car, we already think four wheels.

This seems obvious, until you consider that mentioning that the café is warmly decorated, cozy, and is full of writers working on manuscripts and people catching up over coffee is… exactly that. While maybe a baseline of information like this is appropriate, all you needed to say was ‘café’ and we’re already in this image. For a setting or person that doesn’t mean much to the story, this could suffice.

However, for an important element in the narrative, you’re going to want to bring your descriptions beyond that assumed/obvious baseline.

We know an elderly person is going to have grey hair, shuffle slowly, and speak in a creaky voice. We might not know that their purse seems far too heavy for them, and they have a distinct smell of gunpowder that follows them into rooms.

I’m reading a book right now by Jasper FForde called ‘Jack Spratt Investigates The Big Over Easy’ and it’s full of interesting and unexpected descriptions. Here is one of my favourites:

“The years had been charitable to Mrs. Spratt, and despite her age she was as bright as a button and had certainly not lost any of her youthful zest. Jack put it down to quantity of children. It had either made her tough in old age or worn her out—if the latter, then without Jack and his nine elder siblings, she might have lived to one hundred ninety-six. She painted people’s pets in oils because ‘someone has to,’ collected small pottery animals, Blue Baboon LPs and Jellyman commemorative plates. She had been widowed seventeen years.”

Think of what things make a person or space you know well unique, and try to imbue those details into your work. What makes a place look lived in? What sort of objects or feel or smell does it have? What distinguishes your best friend from others in a crowd?

Feel free to share a description that's really stuck with you!

#writing #writers #writing tips #writing advice #writing inspiration #creative writing #writing community #books #film #filmmaking #screenwriting #novel writing #fanfiction #writeblr #descriptions #character description #level up your descriptions

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