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nights-flying-fox · 4 months

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Leo Blues

Leon (Future Leo) realizes that his younger self is feeling a bit blue and decides to help him feel better.

I wrote half of this months ago and the other half today. Shoutout to my friend @little-banjo-frog for giving some ideas and helping with the fic!!! :D

This is part of an AU but you don't really need to know context. Just that Future Leo is back to past, and maybe some other family members, and he is hanging out in the lair with others.

Oh also this is inspired by @tmnt-event-blog 's prompt (basically what motivated me to finish it haha)

Word Count: 2530 ☆ Fandom: rottmnt ☆ Warnings: a very brief implication of death/losing someone close ☆ AO3 Link: Here!! ☆

Leon knew himself well. Not himself himself, but his younger self. Leo was a younger version of Leon after all, and Leon knew what it did mean when he sulked away from everyone.

Today Leo was less chatty, he didn’t leave his room other than to get breakfast and join his brothers to help them with some things. These two things were more than enough to tell Leon his younger self was in a bad mood.

That is exactly why right now Leon was on his way to Leo’s room. He didn’t tell anyone else, since he knew how he used to be around on such days. Always hiding his negative emotions and keeping it to himself. Not wanting to share the hurt and make anyone else sad. Leon was worried that he wouldn’t talk to him either, but he had to try his chance. What were your future selves if not to help you when needed, right? Ignoring the 'annoying them till they start throwing stuff at you' part, of course.

He knocked the wall before opening the curtain and entering Leo’s room. As he expected, he found the boy sitting on his bed with legs crossed, his phone in his hand but his eyes blankly staring at the ground. Leon wasn’t even sure if he heard him coming. He most probably didn’t, considering how he flinched when Leon put his hand on his shoulder and sat next to him.

“Hey, pequeñin ,” He said as he kept his voice low and smiled softly.

Leo gave him a confused look before smirking. “Hey, anciano .”

The older turtle rolled his eyes, but said nothing. He wasn’t here to jokingly bicker with his younger self. “Haven’t seen you around a lot today.”

“Eh, got stuff to watch and catch up.” Leo shrugged.

Lies. “Ah, so feeling blue , huh?” Leon stated the fact, but not without smirking at his word choice.

“Blue suits me well after all.” Leo replied casually, with a wink and matching smirk.

Leon felt himself relax a bit, at least his younger self felt comfortable enough to open up with how he was feeling to him, even if it was in the form of joking. “Has no one ever told you being this blue is too much?” Leon asked.

“I thought you’d know the answer already, considering we share the same sixteen years of the past.” Leo answered.

“Heh, you’re right. How did I miss that?”

The two sat on the bed for some seconds, enough for Leo to slowly lean towards his bed frame and for Leon to come up with a quick plan to repaint Leo’s mood.

As he got up he said “I’ll be right back, and don’t worry I’m not bringing anyone.” to Leo. The other was quiet, only watching him leave.

Leon’s first destination was the living room. The last place he had seen Leo’s tablet (which he probably had forgotten to pick it up yesterday). Entering in, he saw it was still on the same spot as before. The room was empty, nobody other than Splinter who was enjoying his usual commercials. Leon smiled at the nostalgic scenery. No matter how long passed since he returned to the past, he still couldn’t get used to the fact he once again was back at home. Back to the casual chaotic life he had before the apocalypse. The little simple things would forever make him feel warm.

After picking up the tablet, he walked towards his next destination: His room. Or rather his, Future Mystic Hands’ (they really needed a shorter ‘official’ nickname that both Mikeys would accept) and Case’s room. He took the extra blankets (Mikey Two wouldn’t need them anytime soon) and left.

Next up was the kitchen, which was the final room to visit before returning to Leo’s room. As he came close to the entrance he heard the chatter. Casey, Donnie and April’s laughter filled the kitchen. The three were sitting on the chairs, mugs of three different kinds of drinks on the table. Casey was the first one to notice him: “Hi Sensei!”

"Hey Case," Leon ruffled the boy's hair as he walked by him. Casey grumbled in protest, but Leon could see his grin. What a hypocrite.

"Will you join us Big Blue?" April asked with a smile, "Mikey's made hot cocoa."

"Sorry guys, got other plans."

"What other plans?" Casey questioned, raising a bow.

"Finally catching up on some TV series." He answered.

"All by yourself?" April asked.

Leon got two mugs. "Yeah, myself and I."

"I see, you mean you and Leo ." Donnie pointed out. "And here Future Boy was telling us some future stories."

Leon turned to squint at Casey. "What kind of future stories?"

"Ummmmm…" Casey looked away. Bad sign. A very bad sign.

"Nothing you should worry about." April said and sipped from her cocoa.

"Somehow this makes me worry even more." Leon deadpanned. Then he turned back to what he was doing.

Donnie smirked, "You'll most likely find out soon anyways."

That could only mean an embarrassing story. But hey, two could play that game. "Well, maybe you'll find out more future stories too."

"Oh ho ho, tell us all of them man." April sounded excited to learn more embarrassing stories. Leon couldn't blame her, there were a lot of crazy silly things going on even in the doomed future.

"Maybe not all of them." Casey chipped in, looking with somewhat pleading eyes to his sensei.

"Perhaps." Leon replied, meanwhile finishing with preparing the tray with the snacks, leftover pizza and hot cocoa mugs. "But not yet."

"Leaving us at cliffhanger?" April huffed.

"I didn't even start saying anything."

"The trailer was enough."

Leon grinned, "Soon in the lair… stories from the future." He said dramatically.

"Three V.I.P. tickets, please." Donnie said after sipping his probably way too sweet coffee. "For the premiere."

"We accept payment with story sharing." Leon smirked.

"Deal. Junior shared plenty."

"Sweet."

Leon turned to look at his protégé. Casey watched with confusion. Then Leon realized that the boy didn't know– or rather didn’t remember. "Do you remember cinemas, Case?"

"Yes?" His eyes shined brightly the moment he connected the dots, "Oh!"

"...Future didn't have cinemas." Donnie announced his own findings as he thought out loud. "I hadn't considered that."

"I believe you guys can fill him with some culture of the present?" Leon asked.

"Of course, there's so much for the Future Boy to discover!" April got her arm around Casey's neck and pulled him closer. Casey smiled, putting down his mug of tea to side hug her.

It was good to see the boy had gotten better at being relaxed. Being always on alarm was a hard habit to break from after everything he went through.

As the three began talking about all the places and things his future lacked, Leon left the kitchen and headed back to Leo's room.

The boy was now under the blanket. Leon could tell that he still was on his phone from the subtle light.

"Hot cocoa delivery," Leon announced.

"Mikey's?" Leo asked from the spot he was in.

"Yep."

He peeked and then reached to him, "Gimme!"

Leon gladly gave him one of the mugs. "If you come out we can share the snacks."

This perked Leo's interest a bit more. He squirmed out of the blanket, no more laying on the bed. He noticed the rest of what Leon collected on his short trip in the lair.

Leon took his place next to him and wrapped the blankets he brought around them. He placed the snacks and pineapple pizza between them, and the tablet in front of them. "What do you wanna watch?"

Leo shrugged, "Dunno."

Good thing Leon was still a Leo. He knew what his comfort movies were and he could use this to his advantage. “Kung Fu Panda?”

“Sure. Are we doing a marathon?” Leo asked.

“You bet. After all, it has been a while since I last saw them.” Leon grinned. He barely could remember the movies, or the days he would watch them with his family thanks to Donnie, in the middle of the apocalypse. He really hoped they could do that again, just not in an apocalyptic situation.

Leo looked at him, with a glint of sadness. He quickly looked away towards the screen. “You better plan watching Secrets of the Scroll too, then.” He said. Voice completely normal, as if it wasn’t him who was hiding under blankets a short while ago.

“You know I will.” Leon hummed. He hadn’t missed that look, and he would help himself. “Before that… is there something you want to talk about? You seemed like you wanted to say something a second ago.”

He seemed uncertain for a moment, “Ah, no. Nope.”

“Are you sure?” Leon knew that this was a lie. “Because whatever you say, stays between us.”

“Yeah, yeah… just…” Ah, there it was. “Remember last night’s patrol?” He said a bit quietly.

Leon nodded, “Yeah. Didn’t you guys end up kicking Stockboy’s butt?”

“Yes… but…” Leo pulled his legs towards himself. “I almost failed.” He whispered.

“But you didn’t.” Leon pointed out, urging his younger self to talk.

“But I almost did!” Leo repeated. His hold on the mug tightened.

“And why is it a problem?” Leon questioned, genuinely. He wanted to know why Leo found it such a big problem.

“Because the last time I failed, everyone I loved almost died .”

Leo sounded so tired, and equally panicked. And Leon couldn’t even blame him. Not when he did the same thing. Not when he did lose them. Not when he froze once he heard the words.

Leo took a breath, “Sorry, I… I didn’t mean to. I…”

Leon looked at him. The boy he once was. So young, sad, broken… Unfairly punished by a cruel fate. And never ever let himself relax, to be seen weak. Especially after the apocalypse. After losing so much. After becoming a leader, responsible for whatever is left. This boy had almost experienced it. He almost had the same life as him. And even though he managed to escape the hell, he still was suffering from it. Even though he literally had sacrificed himself, he had given his everything to save everyone, he was still hurting thinking of what could’ve been. Of what happened.

And, oh, how unfair that was.

He put his mug aside, then gently took the mug Leo was holding from his hands (who looked at him confusedly) and put it next to his. Then he pulled the boy into a tight hug. “It is okay, Leo.” He said, voice small but powerful. “It has passed, everything will be alright.”

“But what if I make another mistake? What if everything goes bad again, because of me ?” Leo responded, his voice trying to stay strong but clearly close to breaking.

“You will make mistakes.” Leon said. “You will make so many of them. Just like I did. Even after everything that happened. Even when I was a leader.” He pushed away the memories full of pain, regret, and shame that creeped from the back of his mind. He had learned to accept them, once he had time to recover and focus on himself. Or rather he was learning to, it was a hard process to return to what you had locked to survive. He didn’t want Leo to do something similar, or let his fear destroy him. “And you know what? It is amazing that you make mistakes. It means you are trying something new. You are trying to be better. To learn. That you realize them means you are trying to learn from them.”

“And what if I don’t have time to learn from them the next time I make a mistake?” Leon knew Leo had shut his eyes and was doing his best to not let everything out, to not break in front of him. He was holding Leon tightly too.

“You will have time. Trust me.” Leon affirmed. “After all, what is important is the fact that you are trying. You aren’t giving up. You are trying to be better. And I am so proud of you.” He broke the hug and looked at his eyes. “I know you think otherwise, but you are actually a much cooler dude than me. You are even teaching me new stuff every day.”

Leo smiled a bit, a shaky one. “How so?”

“You were the one to remind me what I always fought for, you are the one to remind me who I was– or rather, I am .” Leon smiled at him. “You are beating yourself up for something impossible, and while I know it is hard to not to do so, I also know you are strong, Leo. And you are never alone.”

And with those words, Leo finally let himself relax and smile. Then Leon saw as tears fell, right before Leo hugged him tightly. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t really have to. Leon knew how much it meant to be reminded of having someone by your side even at the worst times. For someone to confirm even when the world felt like it was ending (which was not an unfamiliar concept for both of them, sadly) things would turn out well. So he held the boy, until he stopped crying and shaking, letting everything out after who knows how long.

When Leo broke the hug and sat, leaning to Leon instead of his bed, Leon patted his head. “How blue are you feeling?” He asked, handing back now luke warm hot cocoa. Somehow, they hadn’t gone cold, which to be honest was weird.

“Less than before.” Leo smiled. “I never had thought I’d end up getting hugs from my older self, but here you are.”

“Isn’t it insane?” Leon replied with a smirk.

“It is.” Leo grinned. Then he added. “Thank you.”

“Don’t even mention it.” Leon replied. “Now drink your cocoa and get ready, because I want to watch Kung Fu Panda.”

Leo grinned. “Sure thing, old man.”

“No, even after those hugs? You are cruel.” Leon teased.

“Those are just facts.” Leo smirked. Then he sipped the hot cocoa, “Mmm, this is good.”

“I bet it is.” Leon said as he sipped his. Oh, it was even better than he remembered it to be. “It really is…” He nodded. He had missed this so much.

“So are we watching the movies or..?” Leo asked, a fake hastiness in his tone.

Leon laughed, “Yeah, let’s start.” He grinned as he opened the movie.

He didn’t think much of it, but he was grateful for Leo. He wouldn’t ever talk about it, but those words he told his younger self? He needed to hear them too. He had forgotten them. He may have had his family back, but still sometimes it was hard to remember things weren’t always bad. That things would be okay in the end, and that he wouldn’t ever be alone.

So in the end of the day, both blue masked turtles had ended up feeling better– or as they would call it, less blue.

#if there any typos well. its 2 am so lol #rottmnt #nighty writey #rottmnt fanfic #rottmnt leo #rottmnt future leo #rottmnt au #rottmnt leonardo #tmnt #save rottmnt #unpause rottmnt #i also dont know spanish so if those words are wrong please correct me/tell me #ok now i shall sleep love you guys bye #let's grab a slice together #lgast au

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silenthillbunni · 2 months

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🧸🧃⛈️

#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset #bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard #nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc #nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time #in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders....#it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me #(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them)#the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply #also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T #i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!!#my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol #i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot #why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days #many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk #but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie #yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it #hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours #then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do

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lanaevyssmoved · 6 months

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Do you have any other bg3 ocs other than afhiri? If yes then is it okay to tell us about them ? If no then why (again if its okay to talk about this) ?

hihihi yes i do!!!!!!!!!! i've been asked a question like this before and i haven't improved with talking about them since so i clearly haven't learnt a thing in that time but since things have changed since then i will update :D

my character page currently only hosts bg3 ocs, and you can find it here! i've only really worked on afhiri's page however so it's basically just basic information.. however i've also hit this point where i feel like i probably can't actually play bg3 as anyone but afhiri? it would feel.. wrong. so.. bare that in mind

last time i did this i included pictures but i won't this time because one of my main ocs literally can't have a picture unless i.. worked with an artist to finalise it's design. and i don't see that happening and that oc is too important to feel like the loser no picture in a sea of pictures LKSDJFDSFDSF

uhhh undercut so i'm not too annoying !!!!!!!!! warning i wrote A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so afhiri wasn't my first playthrough! in fact the oc of my first playthrough is on my blog!!! all the way back on release! however this was back when i wasn't reeallyyyy that talkative on tumblr so there's only a tiny bit.

that oc is default name tav, because my nonbinary ass fucking loves that name ngl. tav is a half wood-elf strong body oath of the ancients paladin. they use they/he pronouns and are transmasc. his background is folk hero and he is lawful good, and is the typical hero paladin - all about justice and honour and order. tav pushed gale away from the crown as hard as possible and is quite a domineering force to reckon with. my favourite part of tav is how they do not fit the oath of the ancients at all - let's look at oath of the ancients closely for a moment.

The Oath of the Ancients is as old as the race of elves and the rituals of the druids. Sometimes called fey knights, green knights, or horned knights, paladins who swear this oath cast their lot with the side of the light in the cosmic struggle against darkness because they love the beautiful and life-giving things of the world, not necessarily because they believe in principles of honor, courage, and justice. They adorn their armor and clothing with images of growing things-leaves, antlers, or flowers-to reflect their commitment to preserving life and light in the world. Kindle the Light. Through your acts of mercy, kindness, and forgiveness, kindle the light of hope in the world, beating back despair. Shelter the Light. Where there is good, beauty, love, and laughter in the world, stand against the wickedness that would swallow it. Where life flourishes, stand against the forces that would render it barren. Preserve Your Own Light. Delight in song and laughter, in beauty and art. If you allow the light to die in your own heart, you can't preserve it in the world. Be the Light. Be a glorious beacon for all who live in despair. Let the light of your joy and courage shine forth in all your deeds.

tav isn't about mercy, kindness or forgiveness. tab truly believes in the principles of honour, courage and justice. tav isn't singing and dancing and laughing, enjoying the arts. but that doesn't matter. tav finds toril to be beautiful, worth preserving and worth protecting. worth dying for. tav has a spiritual moment with the myconids that had them on their knees in tears at how overwhelming the underdark is and the beauty of the life there - never seen before by his eyes. while tav doesn't fit what the ancients oath is - tav believes in it wholeheartedly, adorning themselves in rich greens the best they can to represent their oath. the hypocricy of tav is the charm point - he would be much better suited for many of the other oaths. but that would be surface level devotion. tav is alive to protect this world, that's all that matters. due to the conflicts in tav, he breaks his oath 6 times - and reclaims it each time. he is doing his best. ^_^

tav is very close with halsin and jaheira, and has a headbutting romantic relationship with gale. he likes minsc, wyll and karlach. lae'zel and he have a relationship based on sparring and mutual respect in skill of combat. he's neutral with shadowheart and antagonistic to astarion - who is killed in act 1. minthara is also dead. tav struggles with the emperor because they can't decide if they believe illithids to be abhorrent to the world, or another beautiful thing they don't understand - but ultimately sides with orpheus.

tav also exists in au form in afhiri's universe as an npc!

~~~

my next protagonist is asura. asura is my evil playthrough! who i've promised myself i will do eventually. eventually..... asura is not the dark urge and is just a tav. my idea of asura was to create a character full of hubris and hunger for power. my tadpole eating half-illithid turned illithid. she uses she/her exclusively, except after transformation to illithid she also uses it/its. asura is a coffelock (sorcerer aberrant mind + warlock great old one). her background is noble and is evil aligned - i'm not sure exactly where currently.. most likely neutral evil, shifting to lawful evil later on. this is the 'gale take the crown' and 'ascend astarion' and 'sharran shadowheart' etc character.

i currently have her set to romance minthara, i really like the idea of doing the 'thrall army invade menzoberranzan' ending with them both, where they take over the underdark and rule it together, with hunger for more always simmering.

asura is not a good person, but isn't like a murder hobbo. she thinks she is better than everyone, that she is the most deserving of power, but also enjoys the corruption of others and treats people as playthings to be used, enjoyed, thrown away. turning the other companions more evil aligned and fucking with their morals is pleasurable for her. she enjoys making people squirm and kneel.

her relationship with minthara is tricky because asura would never submit, but in time they both find each other to be equal and worthy of respect. does not mean it's at all healthy and there's not some fuckery going on. minthara is slow dosing poison to asura while asura is casting spells on her like she's a guinea pig without consent. toxic gfs!

asura isn't close with anyone but minthara, but is on 'good' terms with sharran shadowheart and lae'zel. she is antagonist with gale and astarion. wyll, karlach, halsin, jaheira and minsc are dead. asura is the lover of the emperor, and sides with him, but i would be remiss to call them true allies. you can also assume pretty much everyone killable is dead here.. or tormented in some way. some people are left alive for the fun of ruining their lives or twisting them into something worse.

~~~

and now we have my durge! my durge has been more heavily featured on my blog because i tried to play her - until her save bugged out and durge exclusive cutscenes wouldn't play and would just skip? so i quit :D

my durge is rue. named intentionally as rue is in the word durge, rue this day, etc etc. rue is also later known as rue the impaler, lovingly. rue uses she/her exclusively. she is a half drow, and her starter class is sorcerer. as her story progresses, she specs into barbarian. both wild magic! her alignment is true neutral, and consistently shifts in multiple directions, highlighting the conflict within her.

when i made rue she was entirely based on those fucked up kitten memes. where it's just like, a kitten. and the text is MURDER MAIM VIOLENCE etc for no reason... yeah. think of rue as a kitten with spiked out fur looking all disheveled. when designing her looks i thought about those like emo girls who wear massively oversized jumpers and ripped up tights and thick fucking boots and they are super tiny.

rue is primarily a resist urge, but that isn't always the case. she has enough moral compasses surrounding her to keep her mostly on a better track, with intent to preserve her soul and secure herself a good afterlife, instead of whatever she assumes will come of her if she follows what her father desires. rue firmly believes she will live a short life and with the help of those around her, tries her hardest.

i have been having thoughts of shoving rue into afhiri's canon instead of having her as her own protagonist - but i'm not sold on that yet.

rue isn't particularly close with anyone except her love interest, wyll. she is on good to decent terms with karlach, gale, shadowheart, halsin, jaheira and minsc, all of them playing their part in assisting rue when she needs it - moral compass and redemption wise. she is neutral with lae'zel. astarion and minthara are both dead. she is antagonist with the emperor, siding with orpheus.

~~~

all ocs from here on are NOT protagonists!

since i started with tav on the protagonists, i'll start with.. tav here! but not the same tav! and they have the same name with intent! bare with me.

tav is tav's twin sibling. the actual given named tav is my paladin, their twin sibling, tav, simply took their name.. with intent to fuck with them. i have never given tav an actual name because it's not important - it's dead as far as they are concerned. just two tav's, man. to keep it easy, when referring to my protagonist paladin tav i'll just say paladin tav.

tav is a half-wood elf (obviously) college of whispers bard and inquisitive rogue multiclass. they exclusively use they/them pronouns. their alignment is neutrally aligned, shifting between true neutral and chaotic neutral.

tav is both a member of the zhentarim and the guild - playing both sides, loyal to neither. constantly risking their own neck, finding pleasure in the danger of it, the collection of information and gold, always lying and staying two steps ahead. tav has both a romantic relationship with rugan and nine-fingers, the former for petty information as they works the zhent ladder, and the later proof of conquest as they've already climbed the ladder and made their way to the top - granting them some protection when people whisper of their duel allegiance. if push came to shove, they'd leave it all and go to another part of toril and start again.

you can see how a character like this can do damage to paladin tav's reputation, the name being referred to as a thief and a snake who works in the black markets and threatening innocent folks. this is why his twin stole his name - not only is it funny to ruin their siblings reputation, but it also means that sometimes the name can be referred to as the noble deeds of a paladin, using it to their advantage.

tav is both a part of paladin tavs universe and afhiri's!

~~~

i'll talk about druthaea next, or rather just dru. dru was originally a protagonist whos story didn't work in context of the games endings so much so that i'd have to rewrite much of the game to make it work that i just.. gave up, because i wasn't passionate enough to go through that effort and make sure it makes sense.

dru's original story was going to be a story of pushing the powerful of the story to surpass their opressors or gods. gale becomes the new god of magic, shadowheart surpasses shar and takes her place as the god of loss, lae'zel rules the githyanki people, ascendant astarion, etc. however you can see how much work i would have to put in to make some of that work right.. yeah. okay. moving on to what she is now LOL

dru is a high elf who truly, with her entire soul, believes she is an eladrin, as in noble (fey) eladrin. she uses she/her pronouns. she is a wild magic sorcerer - blessed to her when she stumbled upon the fey realm one time, the source of her delusions.

dru lives the life one would akin to a crazy wizard, locked within her tower pouring over tomes and messing with deadly experiments, however she doesn't spec into wizard - she isn't stable enough to actually study and improve with learnt magic - she just.. fucks around and finds out.

she does unfortunately suffer quite a great deal in her disillusionment, having dreams or rather nightmares that reveal her truth - that she is just a common eladrin, a high elf, and not greater. dru exists, for me, as a trans allegory heavy on dysphoria, as well as suffering from hallucinations and other less pleasant things that would require a trigger warning on this post. she is quite dear to me for these reasons.

while existing in afhiri's universe now, she and afhiri never meet - she is just a piece of that world.

~~~

next is candor, who is very well developed and has been developing alongside afhiri for some time now.

candor is a solar, a type of angel. highest in rank, most powerful of all the angels. in 5e lore, there are only a few solar at a time, i believe currently there are 24 known. zariel was a solar before she fell. candor is exiled before the events of the game, though the choice was his own. having been in service of lathander for millennia, the events of one moment in history led him to seek exile - to find himself and his purpose.

candor has been heavily intertwined with existing realms lore for my own purposes, so if you're really into the realms lore you might not like what i do with candor? or whatever so. many stop here cuz you probs won't like the oc after either LOL

for gameplay reasons (candor is a hireling in game for afhiri), he is a cleric of lathander, light subclass, and a redemption paladin (devotion in game). in actual canon, candor doesn't have a class, and is just a 'monster', large celestial. he uses he/it pronouns, and is lawful good.

the lore that candor ties into is the lore of the blood of lathander, which is his weapon. it was candor who acted as the avatar of lathander and and smote the fallen chosen of mystra, sammaster. it was his blood that was spilled, and his mace that was left in the care of the priests. during the course of the story, candor is reunited with his mace.

on toril, during its exile, candor takes the form of a tiefling - having seen a small tiefling child playing, taking the form to approach her and introduce himself to the world of toril, pretending to be an average person there, not an angel of high regard. he keeps watch of this tiefling child, noting something different about them, and finding a need within himself to protect and guide her, giving himself purpose during his self imposed exile from the upper planes. this tiefling child is blessed with wild magic by the time he meets them - and uses his power to stop that wild magic from causing any harm or damage to themselves or those around them from a distance.

when this tiefling child is a child no more, setting out on their own to adventure, candor approaches again with a proper introduction - having studied the people of baldur's gate and surrounding land, calling himself candor, having chose the name for himself as a virtue name akin to that of other tiefling it has met, hoping the tiefling understood it's meaning.. but they didn't, much to candors dismay.

if you haven't already guessed, the child no more is afhiri! candor acts as a full companion over the course of the game, and is the only reason afhiri is able to survive her wild magic (while not understanding it's coming from her and not realising how dangerous it can be) and survive the wilds and her adventures for the year she travels before the events of the game. much of candors early development came from "wait a minute how the fuck is afhiri alive" because uh.. the clown wouldn't be. she just wouldn't!

over the course of the game, candor has an interesting dynamic with gale, who candor distrusts inherently due to his position of a wizard, ex-chosen of mystra, and ex-lover of mystra. at the end of the game, candor feels content with his work on toril, and returns to the upper planes, agreeing to work in service of lathander again, his mace in hand. during my 3 years later fic, when afhiri is unfortunately killed, it is candor who greets her soul in limbo, and begins escorting her to lathander, who candor has worked hard with to make him accept afhiri despite her lack of faith in.. well anything, but is ripped from candor when gale resurrects her. that doesn't do much for their sour relationship lol.

candor and afhiri have a romantic relationship, but it isn't anything you would expect. candor is as close to a god as afhiri gets to personally experience - solar are incredible beings, powerful enough to choose if they even serve a god, completely capable of acting of their own free will... but at no point does afhiri really understand that. not even when candor reveals his status at the monestary, or shows his true form before leaving at the end of the game.. or when candor is literally escorting afhiri to her afterlife. so from afhiri's point of view, candor is a hot tiefling with a thing about authority and order and justice but, yknow its hot. so. but to candor, afhiri is his charge, self appointed, and its purpose on toril has become mentoring her, keeping watch of her, caring for her. candor is an angel who falls for the being its supposed to be impartially guiding to faith, and keep alive.. because she needs help with that. it isn't a health dynamic (like i am won't to do with my afhiri teehees) but it isn't toxic, it's just imbalanced... on one side.. because afhiri isn't aware it's imbalanced.. again i remind it isn't because it's kept from her - it's because she's thick as shit. sorry afhiri.

since candor is a companion for afhiri - i'll share some of his interpersonal relationships. obviously he is antagonistic with gale, but the pair came to a mutual agreement to at least try not to hate each other in front of afhiri, who obviously doesn't enjoy them fighting (except for the fact it's kinda hot. sigh). candor mostly stays to themselves, but has had pleasant conversations with lae'zel, halsin and jaheira, and surprisingly thought-provoking ones with minsc. candor is antagonistic to astarion and shadowheart (for the most part) and friendly with wyll and karlach. candor does not approve of the emperor, or afhiri's growing infatuation with it.

if you ever want an oc to talk about to get me going crazy that isn't afhiri............. your best best is candor.

~~~

lastly we have cirok, also part of afhiri's universe, and becomes a major player in her story in my 3 years later fic.

cirok is a rivener, which is an unearthed arcana homebrew race. riveners are kaortis, or rather the failed or incomplete transformation of person to kaorti. for those unaware, kaorti are made similarly to that for a mindflayer, consider a rivener to be conceptionally similar to a half-illithid in bg3, which is half an incomplete transformation. cirok uses it/they/he pronouns.

its class is phantom rogue, the description is important for you to understand cirok as a character.

Many rogues walk a fine line between life and death, risking their own lives and taking the lives of others. While adventuring on that line, some rogues discover a mystical connection to death itself. These rogues take knowledge from the dead and become immersed in negative energy, eventually becoming like ghosts. Thieves' guilds value them as highly effective information gatherers and spies. Many shadar-kai of the Shadowfell are masters of these macabre techniques, and some are willing to teach this path. In places like Thay in the Forgotten Realms and Karrnath in Eberron, where many necromancers practice their craft, a Phantom can become a wizard's confidant and right hand. In temples of gods of death, the Phantom might work as an agent to track down those who try to cheat death and to recover knowledge that might otherwise be lost to the grave. How did you discover this grim power? Did you sleep in a graveyard and awaken to your new abilities? Or did you cultivate them in a temple or thieves' guild dedicated to a deity of death?

cirok, over the course of my story, acts as gale's right hand. going out and gathering information, finding lost and hidden things, whatever is required of it. they are gale's shadow.

gale uses his magic to keep ciroks condition under check, placing mental barriers in its mind to help retain its humanity and sense of self, keeping a place for them to maintain their resin without interruption or risk, occassionally assisting in the task.

the relationship between cirok and gale is strained and difficult, they fight and argue, they make love with teeth and claws, acting as an outlet of frustration for one another in many ways. but cirok is loyal, doing everything asked of them with no complains.

however afhiri is often there to sweeten the deal, despite not actually needing to - she just enjoys it. the pair never fight, though cirok does find afhiri to be quite exhausting to be around, occassionally reaching points of irritation and annoyance, though rarely expressed due to it understanding afhiri isn't seeking to bring those feelings out, but the exact opposite.

afhiri generally doesn't mediate the fights between gale and cirok, instead choosing instead to stay out of it. they don't understand half of what they're talking about - what causes the bickering. you're likely to see afhiri sitting on gale's desk kicking her legs while the two reach boiling point. the only time afhiri would speak up is if things turned violent, or are about to by reading their body language. afhiri is an expert at talking to people, after all - if anyone is going to stop these two killing each other, it's her.

without cirok, gale's plans of immortality, and eventual godhood with afhiri wouldn't make much progress, potentially it wouldn't find any success without it.

much of cirok is still under works and it requires more development! but i am super interested in cirok as a character, and the ot3 dynamic of afhiri/cirok/gale!!!

~~~

ok that's it. i stop here. LSDKFJ SI HOPE THIS IS DETAILED ENOUGH FOR U ANON!!!!!! I DID MY BEST

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sourstars · 1 year

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where are you? where are you? find me please, i can’t go back to sleep without you | midoriya izuku.

It was the type of love that made you feel immortal, like you could take on anything, but all of it will remain, unsullied in the halls of your memory.

He will be here, in your heart and soul, always.

…

one part of an incoming anthology series! song lyrics are IKEA date by swmrs.

warnings: mentions/implications of death and tragedy, mentions and depictions of grief, mourning, and heartbreak.

wc: 1.2K

Midoriya’s childhood room was just as it had always been, if only a bit older.

The shelves with spare parts for his creations, volumes of his favorite classics, articles on intricate theories, trinkets with made up names; they all gather in disquiet, waiting, as if each one has plucked its eyes open after a long rest and has come to discover the world was, and is not, how it has been left, but instead three inches too far out of place. The type of change you cannot ignore once seen, once felt, becoming unbearable; a hip into a table, a shoulder into a door frame, a mind gazing into history’s looking glass.

His bulletin board is tacked with photos, and notes, and essays, and ideas, dozens of pivotal times that commanded the course of your existences, twisted your strings into melodies bound by skin; Uraraka mid-stumble on a skate losing a wheel, Mina in the background as serene as the sea; Todoroki eating Bakugou’s spiciest concoction on a dare, with nonchalant abandon; Eri, Shinsou, Yamada and Aizawa at her sixteenth birthday, covered head to toe in glitter and confetti; Bakugou, through a door crack, reading a romance novel, his notes and analysis written in the margins; You and him within the forest, camping, leaning back as the fire surged, just in time for the camera to catch the fall of his marshmallow and collapsing of your tent.

It had been the time of your lives, before all this, before the hurt, before prophecy to fruition. But then again, you suppose, for anyone who is blind-sighted by tragedy, for anyone nipped too young and too harshly by destiny’s picky hand, it always is.

To be undeniably human is to have experienced all that comes with loss—which means having to have lived through the after.

His mother sits next to you on the bed, smoothing pristine but outdated patterned sheets, and says nothing while she cradles the hoodie he often wore; gotten at a time that Midoriya, truthfully, believed that All Might’s design team had seen better days, but none that had been none better than the beginning, because the beginning is alway the best part of the story.

In the beginning, there is unchained potential, all yours to do anything you wish. Nothing, but the world waiting to be brought to its knees.

She strokes the fabric, running her fingers along the seams, over the haphazardly done and amateurish repairs once made by his unpracticed hands, across the flap of the tag, where he’d written his fate in tiny letters—MIDORIYA IZUKU, FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO.

“I think,” Your throat feels filmy, your voice raw, words sticking to the meat of your tongue moments before the escape. They paw at you, struggling, and you take the second to scrounge up what’s left, like someone who’d sifted through the couch for a last chance to find loose change. “I think in another unive—if I—if he—we tried and I don’t—”

“I know.”

She sits with her back straight, head bowed down to allow her dark locks to hide her face. Tears smatter across the hoodie’s front, a canvas of endless agony. This is how it is to love and to lose and misplace the compass engraved with a heartbeat. This is how people trip and find one another.

“I know.” She says again, and you glance at the hand that wipes at her eyes, wringing your own. “He wouldn’t have changed a thing, that boy. He was always so stubborn. He would’ve loved you and went out all the same, if it meant he got to experience it all over again.”

She looks over now, nose blotched with pink and eyes shiny. Her hands shake as she reaches to squeeze an arm. “I know.” Her smile is tiny, like broken pieces without glue. “He would tell me about you and it would be like the sun had nothing against his smile. I am so honored to know my son fell in love with someone like you. Thank you for loving my boy.”

Hours feel like blinks when discussing things that matter, but sooner or later, you spend days at home, trying to live with the fact that everywhere you are, he’d been once, too. It will never go away, this ache, but his hoodie is a comfort, a piece of him you have not allowed time to touch, and even though it is not what you want, and what you want cannot be attained, you sleep with it on, you savor the smell of him on the threads. Lavender and honey, lavender and honey and heartache all wrapped up into one.

He had told you once, that when he was a kid, before he learned to talk, to walk, to hope and yearn for something so much bigger than himself, that he wanted—and was going to—change the world. That he wanted to be the history-maker type of man.

But behind his legacy and the fame, this is all that’s left for you, these memories and belongings, all of his goodness wafting away into the world, into your clothes, through his friends—through his work, and his sacrifices.

This is what it meant to be a hero—to lose, to have left something behind. There are things that say heroes are never meant to be happy, but Midoriya Izuku was happiness molded into voice, into body, into being. Sometimes the stories should be wrong. Sometimes they can be. Sometimes they’re not.

(Where’s a love too big for the body supposed to go now?

If not poured straight into him; nowhere, nowhere, nowhere.)

You’d, perhaps, imagined it, but for a moment—for the tiniest of seconds, amidst the silence, and devouring of you within the the cotton’s hold, there had been a warmth, like he was still here, holding your hand.

You say nothing, placing your palms together, imagining that if you’d closed your eyes tight enough, wished hard enough, you could intertwine your fingers, trace his knuckles, have him back.

(“I’m going to change the world one day, help so many people,” he said, and grinned as he forced the curls of his hair into your face as he buried his own into your neck. “Just watch me.”

Your fingers threaded through the green, lightly scratching at his scalp as you pressed a kiss to his head. “I’ve no doubt. And even when you get a big ego and puff up your chest like Toshinori did, I’ll love you through it all.”

There’s a nip at your shoulder, a smidge of laughter. “Even when I’m old and need help walking down the stairs?”

“Until you can barely remember what it was like not to feel like this, being loved like this,”

“Are you saying that you love me Plus Ultra?”

You groan, shoving him away from you before bringing him back in for a soft kiss, thumb pressed into his cheek. “Yeah, that’s what I’m sayin’. Let it be known, the future number one hero is in love,”

“With you? Infinitely.”)

reblogs are preferred and appreciated!

#i’m sorry i’m too tired to make a whole banner and everything LOL #if i haven’t gotten all typos please let me know #trying something new #midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya angst #midoriya izuku angst #bnha angst #bnha x reader #mha x reader #midoriya x gn!reader #midoriya x gender neutral reader #midoriya izuku x gender neutral reader #mha x gn!reader #mha x gender neutral reader #bnha x gn!reader #bnha x gender neutral reader #!pandora’s notes

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essektheylyss · 1 year

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Do not ever underestimate my capacity to make writing as difficult as possible for myself. This is why I am immune to AI usage. I cannot do anything "the easy way" or I will feel like it's too simplistic and fails to fully encompass the "vision". I have been trying for three years to write a cohesive, somewhat high-concept but overall standard fantasy novel, and I finally got a bit of the rewriting done for it today, and then promptly was like, "Actually this requires building out an entire experimental form that requires an above average capacity for typesetting and a lot of skill with poetic symmetry to convey the precise sense of disorientation you are trying to accomplish."

And the worst part is, I'm probably gonna do it.

#this would be SO FUCKING EASY IN FILM. I'M MAD.#but nOOOO I'm out here trying to write what should basically be high fantasy endless sunshine in PROSE #because FUCK ME IG #to be clear I half ass a lot of things but let it never be said that I have made art without my whole ass #also I don't know that it is in anyway an original form (and I can give examples of where it is used. in scripts lol.)#but like. for the exact combo of things i want to employ it for in this format I think it is at least HIGHLY unusual #anyway that is for a later megs to deal with.#if I'm being honest I was admittedly like 'at some point I will figure out the exact format problem I'm having' and here we are #*ETERNAL SUNSHINE jfc i knew id sniffed a typo i just could not for the life of me figure out what it was #good fucking god

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theindefinitearticle · 6 months

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hiiii new chapter 🥺

#ofmd #i did check for typos and kaj edited it also but i fucked with it after kaj finished so please let me know if i broke anything bad lol #is there a tag people use to block posts like this i do NOT want to put this in the ao3 tag lol

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disdaidal · 8 months

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Sometimes I really kind of envy you native English speakers who make writing and posting fics seem so fucking easy. With near perfect grammar and hardly any typos. Or those of you who are capable of writing & updating your fics whenever the muse hits you just right... and not like, once in six months. Actually, try two years lol.

Whereas me, a non-native speaker, who occasionally struggles even with basic English grammar:

I'm fine. Totally.

#personal #okay so i've been writing this one piece of fiction for a while now #actually two but i've seemed to put the other one on hold for a while at least #(i may have mentioned this already like five times during the past two weeks but my point is i'm still working on it)#many thanks to @ihni who recently gave me some words of encouragement <3 and ofc @catzy88 who gave me even more insp *saatananauru*#and i'm actually really kind of enjoying it because there's no pressure to write it and post it #i write it in small sections. whenever i feel like it. giving myself enough time to plan it and think about it. even getting new ideas #and for once i'm trying not to keep editing and fixing it as i go. i just write whatever crap comes to my mind and just let it flow #i try not to think about how many mistakes and typos i make because that way i'm never gonna get it finished #but at the same time... when it's finally time to go through it #fix typos. missing words. possibly poor grammar. i know i'm just gonna hate it so fucking much lmao #but i'm really trying my best here okay. and i'm trying not to rush it. for once #because i used to write like this as a teenager. when there was nowhere really to post your original stories (thank god for that)#so i did it in my notebooks. and i quite enjoyed it doing that way #and i'm not sure why i'm even rambling this because most of you are never gonna read it anyway lol. so who gives right #but it matters to me and i'm feeling good about writing again so here i am rambling about it. no matter if you care not. so cheers mateys <

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tragedykery · 10 months

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rating: G

relationships: Piper McLean/Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano

additional tags: Piper McLean-centric, Haircuts, Gender Identity

word count: 2010

written for @sapphic-summer-riordanverse-2023 day two: butch/gender presentation

“I want to cut my hair.”

Reyna looked up. She surveyed Piper for a moment, her expression a mix of surprise and curiosity, before simply nodding once. “Alright. Do you want me to help you?”

Piper nodded back. She watched quietly as Reyna closed her books and placed them neatly on the desk, before turning on her heel and trusting Reyna would follow.

[Do-it-yourself haircuts and all they can entail.]

#pipeyna #fic #heroes of olympus #piper mclean #this feels kinda juvenile & there’s a weird tonal shift but whatever #my fics #fun fact reyna being trans too wasn't planned but I made typo in which I he/himmed her and theo basically dared me to keep it so.#reyna avila ramírez arellano #my fics: riordanverse #my fics: hoo #also I generally prefer to let my fics stand on their own but this time I added a small end note bc I didn't know if it was clear #from the fic itself #and for the flower symbolism part that's easily missed and I wanted to steer the reader in the right direction lol. let them think about #how it fits into the fic #anyway idk how much I like this I might try to clean it up in a few months #e

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blueberrycumbersnatch · 8 months

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Sorry but Song to the Siren by Tim Buckley is actually Ed’s sad girl summer song and it needs to be said

#I have to do everything around here #/joke #I feel weird posting this for some reason but like I can’t ignore the lack of doing anything with this song anymore guys #I’ve never seen anything like a playlist or fic or gif matched with this song and maybe I’m wrong or missed it but it’s literally his song #it’s all little dramatic and downer but look at him I stand by it lol #especially with the new wedding cake topper thing in the teaser #I’m telling you I speak the truth #I must right these wrongs #personally my favorite is the acoustic version but that’s just meee #if you have seen the song and ofmd paired let me know because I’m a truther #ofmd #our flag means death #not me typoing his name wrong in my post about listening to him #fucking hell

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voidcoretxt · 1 month

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but there are lots of fish left in the sea, there are lots of fish in business suits that talk and walk on human feet & visit doctors & have weak knees ...Oh Please Let Me Join Your Cult..!!! Ill Paint My Face In Yr Colours!!!!!!! (u had a real nice face, i had an early death.)

#needed to. write these lyrics out #ultimately i think i was meant 2 be some1s dead love interest they nvr get over #no matter how many better more interesting people they meet #idk. being loved like that sounds nice. likeee have dead wife flashbacks about me lol. love me love me love me #but yeah anyway. i love these last few lines of the song #before the whole the ocean washed open/over your grave part (id have included it but i think it only works like. as music. not Just words)#its really nice. like there are lotsss of fish left in the sea but also. OH PLEASE LET ME JOIN YOUR CULT LET ME LET MWE LET ME #i like it. it Gets It.#i dont believw that im capable of like. understanding art tbh im kinda too stupid. even for car seat headrest!#and the interpretations of this song that ive read online are different than mine so like. lol. ure abt to read something so utterly stupid #but its like. the desperation. you will never love me but ill do anything to change that. please. Please.#i will worship you i will forsake any and all individuality i previously had please just let me be with you. please. Please.#ya know?#i cant say ive never felt that way before. cant say im not currently feeling like this still (im working on it tho. working working working #its a nice song. i like it.#anyway. gentlemen its been a wonderful evening but sadly ive got an ask to answer so i must leave. farewell godspeed etc #we will see eachother again once i find a song i like that was made in 2007 #voidcore.txt #goddd theres so many typos in this. tumblr please let me edit tags on mobile

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fourteenthz · 1 month

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this game gave me all the illness

Hundreds of thoughts abt the last two chapters of yakuza 0 over here you've been warned I'm going full essay post bc I just can't fit everything only in 30 tags:

I've just wanted to stress just how good I think this game is, genuinely. There are few things that irked me in the end but they are so irrelevant I can't mind all that much. The dialogue in this game is just wonderful, script goes out there a lot but the serious/emotional scenes just felt all so real to me. I feel like it's so hard doing real dialogue without it sounding predictable but they did it. Maybe it's because the story itself isn't all that predictable but just UGH WONDERFUL. so good. Anyway to story bits.

just to start where I left I have to say. proof of love? the damn chapter of all time. if you told me we would be here

when I first started play this game I would be very skeptical but I really loved the directiong they took with him. and specially with her. I just loved makoto at first sight and I hoped so bad she would continue to be a plot point from there on and to have her face all of dojima clan head on and survive is just. so damn cool. she is my most special girl.

and it makes her so realistic too to that final scene before credits. the way she stands up to those guys and everything about her development is just really perfect and insanely well done for like a side character, specially when we have so many of them in this game. she is wonderful. I adore her to bits.

plus as a side-story for majima slowly breaking away from that cold facade from the beginning is just REALLY nice. he starts this chapter makind expressions he has never once done before and ends like

CAN YOU HEAR ME? they are my everything. going from makoto saying "I'm sorry, I can't do anything for myself" right when majima had that talk with seda about not doing things by himself. I love this plot point of him and kiryu being so damn powerful but how shaping them for something greater they needed others. not in a way that they lack something but in such there-are-thing-not-even-you-can-scape kind of way. this brings me to THIS:

BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME SO UNWELL. I feel sick. every time I have favorites I expect the worst to happen to them (because it always happens lol) but having nishiki and makoto being pillars for kiryu's and majima's resolve until the very end is SUCH a treat.

one moment you think they are all dying and the other you get this:

and it changes you for life I guess.

I should also add how much I love lao gui as majima's last boss for this game vs kiryu and shibusawa. they really delivered perfectly the whole "this is what you can become if you follow through with it" and it just makes. sense. and makes me stupid ig. I like them a normal amount and also I like how nishiki and makoto (even not there) are the ones that remind them of who they want to become. it's different from where they are now but it's different from the person lying under them as well and I just feel SO NORMAL about that.

for the ending I gotta say, majima's left a bad taste in my mouth at first, maybe because I just hated sagawa so bad lmao but I think I'm coming around it a lot more the more I think of it. and welp ig sagawa is dead so I that's a good way as any to convince me.

after makoto was gone I kind expected him to never talk with her again, but just to add, it feels better than I overall was hoping. I thought she would either die or move away from japan and they would never see it other again. Don't get me wrong I have no expectations for her to show up again, but just by her being there, I feel like it gives him a lot of peace of mind tbh. dojima clan won't follow here anymore and he can make sure of that. sounds good to me. bUT DID YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME THIS?

SEDA COWARDS. I was partially hoping he would keep it but this is better. ye. I just ADORE this so much. It is such pain that she doesn't know his name but also I just feel so relieved when she was just. walking around. being normal. I love her I love her she deserves the entire world I'm so happy at this moment.

now you know what made me insane? going from this

to THIS

and then I went to download the next one and you know what fck you seda I HATE THIS SO MUCH.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.

I mean I think I know but I REALLY thought I was free from tragic brothers. what about ranking up together..... what of their promise? what about "until death do us apart" was THAT A LIE? I'm gonna be honest with you all. I was excited to continue today but after seeing the opening for kiwami I REALLY don't want to. but. whatever.

from what I'm certain and I know it to be true besides mine own speculation:

I like...... this game. I like how kiryu kept his idea of choosing his path by whether he loved-or-hated it. I love how he steadily grows so much over the game and how you can't really notice until he has to make a choice and you see he's still thinks the same but acts just so more maturely. I like how he let his relationships influence him, how it isn't seem as a bad thing ever, how he is always being rewarded for it.

I like how this reflects on loyalty and brotherhod by everybody that is around him, specially nishiki. damn if I know wtf is happening on the next game but the "95 was a dark year, while kiryu serves time in jail, nishikiyama becomes a changed man" just proves that. I like how they try to be away from one another but when nishiki said they are invincible together, he was right. They don't have to be invincible all the time, but it must feel good to. and them choosing to accept the other changing in that ending scene at serena and nothing changing between them UP UNTIL they are separeted in 95' just feels right.

and, all that being said, I like how it all changed made majima into whatever is that guy by the end of yakuza 0. I somehow felt like he needed one more cutscene, specially bc the next games are really focused on kiryu, but even then, it all just fits well. his acceptance now isn't like the one in chapter 15, when he just comppels in being a pawn for sagawa or whatever. it genuinely speaks to the very first time we see him, how he knows nothing but yakuza, how it's his life, and now WELL IT ISN'T THE PERFECT ENDING but it's such a well-written one for someone such as him. he get's to keep doing what he knows, but being just so much cooler and confident about it. IT JUST FEELS. DAMN COOL.

Just overall. The story is so good, the gameplay is so good. I have a handful of poorly done mechanics/writting to point out but the good outweights the bad so hard that I just doesn't feel like it matter at all. The combat is so fun, the mini-games are intuitive and the side-stories are just gold. Having the switch between the two of them made the game just so fun, there is a bunch of stuff I didn't finish but I also didn't felt bored not even for a second. It's honestly such rewarding gaming experience and I love those a lot.

so yeah, I'll stop rambling now or whatever but just. yeah. yakuza 0 good. play it. pls. and talk to me about it. pls. ty.

#trying to act so normal on this damn essay i'm sorry you must know I was actually barking at my monitor once the end screen appeared #yakuza 0 #yakuza 0 spoilers #kelly plays ykz #there must be SO MANY typos here but idk I just needed to put my thoughts somewhere and kinda organized so I can go insane in the tags bc #GOD AJJAAJSUDGDSD BITTING MY FISTS BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL ETC ETC ETC #seda for everything that exists please I said I wanted more or my tragic brother but NOT LIKE THAT I HATE the opening for ykz 1 so much #WDYM NISHIKI NOT HUGGING KIRYU BUT FIGHTING......... WDYM.#I'm sorry if my blog turns into ykz filled the next days I've been really into giffing again and I feel ill about those characters #and now that I know the majima short hair is in all of the next games I can easily just gif ykz 0 with the idea I had so yeah.#brace yourselves or whatever. I like men a normal amount.#seeing kiryu's back on the title screen tho......... I bet nishiki colored his too..... man.... I'm normal abt thm.#I feel like playing every ykz at this point even after seeing many ppl say that you don't really have to specially 3/4 but idk. kinda #started this series really easily in a 'i'll play when I feel like it' kind of way which isn't how I approach most series #maybe I'm just used to final fantasy lol but the game is just so packed with stuff and it also have such good breaks in the main story #that it makes so much easier to take a break from it irl. genuinely such a well developed game. I'll not stop saying this lol it just. is.#can't believe i'm saying fucking “yakuza 0” when someone asks me what game I recommend them. who would've fucking thought honestly.#the day I bought the idea of trusting this game to have good written tragic brothers and started playing was a damn good choice.#i'm in too deep now. it really is one of those games that makes me emo about how video games are the superior form of story telling #anyway I miss my boys. I'll need some encouragment to keep going with the next entry but i'll so it at some point #until them please enjoy every gifset I send in you guys' way *praying emoji*#can't wait to really meet ichiban by myself!!!!!! lets go!!!!#kelly says

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aishasauce · 1 year

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some gals that r based off masung city magica... bein pals........ and living in my head rent free

(sumire belongs to @satsuha also she did the left side of the 2nd pic)

#yeah..... (gestures) yeah #fart #cielami #sumire #i have many feelings and thoughts abt these 2 but none coherent #also the thing that got me to finally watch pmmm im like 10 years late to the party but its good bc idt 18yo wouldve been #. i noticed a typo. let me restart the sentence i meant to say 18yo me wouldve been too stupid to appreciate it. that or she wouldve made #it her entire personality and i don't wanna think about that #(but h*t*lia was not any better)#more little ppl that i make up with my friends that kiss in my head... good... this is very good #i just realised none of this image shows that theyre magical girls but i have more ideas that do i just need to get to them #the pics have caption btw #love the otaku flavored pre written scenarios... official modules and adventure paths could never #anw now my followers will know which 2 i'm talking abt when i tag a post with sumiciel lol

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prdsd4na · 2 years

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wake up babes new theory about the ‘i’m not on anyone’s side. i’m on your side.’ scene just dropped (or more than the actual scene, what leads to it lol)

these past few weeks i read some posts in the tag that questioned the motif behind kim investigating on porsche and his family because it seems like it's going nowhere but i don't think this is the case as the series has been showing him investigating since the beginning and i don't think it is that random that then korn in episode 12 just says everything without even being asked so i really wouldn't be surprised if the whole point of kim's investigation is to use him to let the audience find the actual truth through him and eventually show how korn is manipulating the game since day one ???

we know that kim's investigation on screen starts in episode 3 when big meets him and this conversation follows:

presumibly kim was suspicious from the get go after learning that his father hired a random man without background to be kinn's bodyguard

it doesn't show on screen but it's a given that after the conversation with big, kim asks him to find more info about porsche because in episode 4 we get this scene:

big hands kim the file on porsche assuming kim wants to know about porsche because the rumors about there being a mole have spread but that is not why kim is investigating considering that we see him still investigating even after they find out the mole was ken

in episode 4 we're introduced to kim's investigation board for the first time:

he's clearly investigating something even from before he knew about porsche and it's clearly all linked to his father so he definitely suspect korn of something and (not in the screenshot) we see kim fixing porsche's and porchay's pictures on it then looking at it kim isn't suspicious about who porsche is but he wants to know how he could actually be linked to his father

then in episode 5 kim is at the main house looking for something and he almost gets caught by his father so he uses the excuse he came to meet him and this conversation follows:

kim suspects his father of something but he doesn't really know what it is exactly so he tries to test the waters with him and i think it's really interesting the way korn reacts because it all starts with them sitting korn seems chill ready to catch up with his youngest son happy that he came to see him but kim starts to ask questions and something in korn shifts and he puts himself in a defensive position replying to questions with other questions dropping his fake expressions two times visibly altered by they way kim is almost interrogating him and it seems like kim notices it and just interrupts the conversation stands up and leaves i wouldn't be surprised if we will find out that after this conversation korn started having kim followed and monitored and him randomly confessing about porsche's parents death was just a precaution to preceed kim who also found out (end of episode 10) as he's afraid of what kim could do (considering how unhinged kim seems maybe it's common knowledge even in the family lol)

some sort of confirmation that kim isn't investigating to find out if there's actually a mole and who this mole is but that he's actually trying to find out what's the connection between porsche and his father and what his father is hiding comes in episode 8 with this conversation between big and kim:

and this is the first time we learn that the car crash that killed porsche's parents wasn't that much of an accident after all

i always thought that korn playing chess since the beginning of the series represents something bigger than a mere metaphor of power and dynamics because it actually puts him into the role of the puppeteer for the whole show messing with the story it could be that he's just an old grumpy man who has a lot of time on his hands or it actually could be that he wants to test the son who will succeed him in ruling his empire what's for sure is that he's never shown too much and it looks like every character in the story is moving because of him so even tho they think they are abiding to their own destiny they're just his puppets (porsche thought he had a saying in accepting the mafia job but we found out it was korn all along, kinn decided to become the heir to his father because he wanted to step in for tankhun but in reality he's just following his father's order and so on)

let's not forget this is how the very first episode ends, right after porsche accepted the job at the main house:

so of course i wouldn't believe a single word coming out of korn’s mouth in general and particularly during the conversation with porsche and kinn in episode 12 because he was definitely the one leading the conversation how he wanted and it seems really out of character for him to spit out the actual story behind porsche's parents death just like that without porsche even asking about it porsche went to talk to korn because he found out that they manipulated him to make him work for the main family so porsche didn't even know that his parents died in shady circumstances

i really think that the whole 'my friend was behind your parents' car crash so i covered it all up' situation was actually a random excuse a pawn move in korn's chess game we've seen him play since episode 1 to see how it plays out he wants to see a reaction from porsche he definitely wants something from him but we always see him remain calm he always appear quite easy going and chill with that little grandpa smile and as we know porsche trusts this kind of attitude towards him so he easily trusts korn and shows him respect this is why both kinn and porsche seem to believe him and it’s really questionable that he firstly said to porsche that he wanted to make ammend for what happened by letting him work for his family (a reality that could easily gets him killed) but then when kinn presumibly went to live with porsche he himself went out of the house (we never saw him leave the house in twelve episodes) just to give porsche a photo of this said friend that killed porsche’s parents

so… what if korn lied about his friend being the one who killed porsche’s parents in that car accident and him covering it up because it's all part of his big bad scheme?

korn wants porsche to kill the guy in order to definitively corrupt him and have a leverage to use against him for later purposes because up to this point even if porsche is working with the mafia he never actually killed anyone willingly it all was part of the job and this could have been the first life he'd take and something like this (considering for him it would have been the man who killed his parents) would have changed him forever and maybe be the cause for conflict between kinn and porsche so it doesn't come as much as surprise that this is when porsche's uncle appears again with a picture of porsche's family and korn hinting to the fact that korn was friends with one if not both of porsche’s parents or anyway knew them

so thinking back to these handprints appearing in episode 5 when kim almost gets caught by his father snooping around:

who do they belong to ?

if korn and porsche's parents were friends it could be that these handprints belong to porsche and porchay from when they were children and we find out korn actually cared for them all these years after their parents' death remaining informed about anything that happened to them

maybe the car crash that killed porsche's parents was actually caused by them and korn as their friends wanted to cover it up in order to protect porsche and porchay

maybe korn even gave their uncle money each month to support them financially only for their uncle to lose everything gambling and that's the reason for their long-term debts

or it can be that maybe those are kinn's and porsche’s hands and we find out that kinn and porsche knew each other when they were children and actually were friends (like a good old childhood best friends to stangers to enemies to lovers) i mean i may be reaching because the handprints are different sizes but we actually don't know how older than porsche kinn actually is

we know that canonically porsche was in the car crash with his parents and he lost his memory so he doesn't remember what happened during the car crash and with kinn it’s the same he was a child so he could not remember

or it can be that it doesn't mean anything and it was just put there to distract the audience or to mislead kim

at the beginning of the series kinn and porsche meet each other by chance porsche helps kinn and korn watching them on video decides he wants porsche to be kinn's bodyguard even tho he's not trained to be one but why if not because he already knows who porsche is and wants something from him ? but he would have never predicted that kinn would fall in love with porsche and would change so much and that's when he decided he had to do something about it and protect his empire because he knows how his son is when he's weak in love (we learned about it through tawan)

it's fortunate that porsche's uncle is appearing now that kinn's and porsche's feelings and relationship have consolidated to the point they represent something dangerous so what if korn or kan are actually paying him to make kinn and porsche break up? they both have their reasons to:

we know from the conversation between vegas and porsche in the warehouse that porsche's sense of family is really strong because in that moment he couldn't understand why vegas would do something like that to his uncle and cousins and vegas puts him in front of the crude reality that they actually aren't family something he learned and grew up with because of the way his father raised both him and macau as we have discovered in these past few episodes where vegas is with pete so it actually makes sense that using porsche's uncle would work because despite what happened between them he still remains the uncle who raised them after his parents passed away

we also know that by now both kinn and porsche are so in love with each other that they represent each other's strength and in this sense also each other's weakness

korn knows that breaking them apart will bring back the old kinn he's been shaping into being his heir since he was a child

kan knows that if kinn and porsche were to break up kinn would be so weak that he could easily overthrow the main family when they're at their lowest and take power (much like vegas' plan) as in this scene from the trailer kan seems a little too happy about something

regardless i really can't think of a reason that could cause a conflict so big between kinn and porsche capable of breaking them up to the point they find themselves pointing guns at each other again because if we think about where they are now as a couple when a problem arises they are really quick to make up as they forgive each other istantly and just a touch is enough also we already got a scene with kinn and porsche pointing guns at each other in episode 10 before porsche runs away with vegas and we know kinnporsche is a series that uses parallels and foreshadowing and in that moment neither of them wanted to actually hurt the other so i wouldn't be surprised if the scene from the trailer coming during the final showdown at the main house pointing guns at each other goes just like that and they're not really against each other (they don't even have their fingers on the trigger) but i really do believe that a few people would try to separate them in these last two episodes

#ok i'm reposting this because i wasn't happy with the original post so i deleted it lol #too many typos and errors and stuff #english is not my first language soo #i still hope it appears in the tag #i didn't get much engage for the original one rip #but i believe in this post i spent the whole day yesterday writing it please give me a chance lool #also i talked with my sister about it for a whole 40 minutes rip her #but i really think i had a big brain moment #like i actually snapped #like it actually makes sense #i know it's not going to happen but let a girl dream #if it DOES happen i expect boc to reach out to me and ask me to help them write season 2 tho #i'm available #kinnporsche #vegaspete #kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche meta #kinnporsche brainrot #giordana texts

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