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let-love-run-red · 1 year

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1 - Whiskey

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When she'd tried to search for a phone number for Van Der Linde Ranch she was faced with a "no internet" message. One addition to the list and a chaste decision later she was driving down the road leading to the ranch.

The sun was setting behind the giant ranch house when she pulled into the driveway. The view was breathtaking. There was an orchard to the left, a pasture full of horses to the right, and next to the road she'd just driven was a giant stable.

She parked the car near the rest of the trucks on the concrete pad beside the stables. She stepped out of the car and looked around, shoving her hands in her pocket and scrunching her nose against the wind.

She wasn't sure where to start looking for Javier. She had no idea what he even looked like, her uncle hadn't given her much to go on. She glanced around nervously. Everybody she could ask seemed busy with something.

Finally one man who seemed like he had a moment walked past leading a black horse with a white face. She called a swift greeting and waved him down. The man stopped and glanced at her, before smirking and tugging the horse to a stop. The horse pranced in place and tossed its head.

"Whatcha need sweet thing?" He asked. She squirmed on the inside, wondering if there was anyone else she could ask. The way he spoke reminded her too much of what she was running from in the first place.

"I'm looking for Javier. Any idea where I can find him?" She asked. The man nodded and pointed to the stables he'd just walked out of. Laura thanked him quickly, before walking to the stables.

She pulled the heavy sliding door open and stepped through.

"Shut that door!" Someone shouted, and she looked up to see a large black horse break away from the woman holding him and charge towards the door she was standing in front of. She flinched away and watched as a man jumped out from one of the stalls.

The man grabbed the loose lead rope and tugged the horse into a sharp turn in the aisle. The horse slowed as he turned in a tight circle while the man whispered softly. Finally, when the horse had calmed, Laura allowed herself to breathe.

"Tranquilo Dioval, calmate." He whispered, patting the horse on the neck. The horse, a shire she now recognized, snorted and tossed his head. The man pushed a few loose locks of dark hair behind his ear and turned to face her.

"Are you alright?" He asked, still stroking the horse that pawed at the ground beside him. Laura nodded shakily and tucked her hair back.

"I'm so sorry, I should've been more careful." She said. The man waved dismissively and shook her head.

"Any other horse and you would have been fine." He offered the lead rope to the woman who had originally been holding the horse. "Dioval is just like that." He looked at the hand he'd caught the lead rope with before rubbing his palm against his thigh.

"I don't think I've seen you before," He offered her his hand, "I'm Javier Escuella." Laura smiled and shook his hand.

"You're who I've been looking for then." She said with a wide grin. Javier's eyes widened and he seemed to balk slightly.

"I'm Laura Garrison, Zachariah Atkin's niece." She said. Javier's face lit up and he nodded excitedly.

"Of course! Zach told me you'd be stopping by when he dropped off the horses." He said, tucking his hands in his back pockets. He tossed his head to flip his dark hair away from his face and grinned at her.

"Yeah, he left me a note to ask for you." She said, watching as he rubbed at his cheek. When he pulled his hand away she spotted the deep scar that his hair had been covering. He caught her staring, and quickly turned that side of his face away from her.

"Well I've got the horses, if you want to see them?" He offered. Laura nodded and followed him as he walked down the aisle of empty stalls. When they reached the last two stalls Javier stopped and leaned over the door of the stall. He made a kissing sound and the chestnut horse lifted its head to look.

The horse took a step closer to Javier and stretched its neck, sniffing his face before lipping at his hair. Javier grinned and blew a breath at the horse, who pulled back with a small snort, ears pricked forward. Laura smiled when she saw how gentle he was with the horses.

"This is Bear, he was Zach's work horse." Javier stood from the door and walked across the aisle to the black and white paint horse that had its head buried in a bucket of grain. Laura chuckled when the horse lifted its head with grain stuck to its lips. Javier reached over and swiped his hand over the horse's mouth. The horse licked Javier's palm and Javier wrinkled his nose.

"And this is Outlaw. Zach was training him as a barrel horse before he, well." Javier paused and cleared his throat. Laura nodded. It seemed like Javier had been close to her late uncle. She wondered if he grieved more than she had.

Laura approached the horse and held her hand out tentatively. Outlaw sniffed at her palm before huffing into it and pulling away with a snort and his ears turned backwards. Laura pulled her hand back quickly and Javier set his hand gently on her shoulder, shushing the horse.

"Calmate, ella es una amiga." He said softly, slipping his hand into his pocket to drop a treat into her palm, before straightening her hand and holding it out. Outlaw tentatively sniffed her again, before ever so gently taking the treat from her hand.

Laura grinned and turned to Javier to see him smiling back. She shook her head before pushing herself off the stall door and wiping her palm on her jeans. Javier followed her, his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

"So I can bring them by tomorrow, if you'd like?" He offered. Laura glanced back at the horses and nodded. She supposed having the horses there would give her some semblance of routine at the ranch.

"Are they okay to stay in a pasture?" She asked, beginning her trek to her car. Javier nodded and waved her off.

"Oh yeah. The door on that old barn finally go?" He asked with a laugh. Laura scoffed and nodded again. She ran her hand through her hair before tucking her hands in the pockets of her coat.

"Yeah it did. I'll get it figured out." She said. Javier nodded and stood beside her car as she opened the door. She settled herself into the seat and buckled the belt across her chest.

"Thank you for doing this." She said, turning the car on and rubbing her hands together. Now that the sun was low the warmth from the day was receding. She hoped the house would be warm enough with no furnace or firewood.

"No hay problema, family of Zachs' is family of mine." He said with a crooked grin. Laura gave a weak smile in return before Javier stood off the car and shut the door. Laura was about to drive off until she rolled down the window and called him back.

"What time tomorrow?" She called. Javier turned back around, pulled out his phone, and scrolled for a moment, before walking back to the car. He handed her the phone with the contacts screen opened.

"I'm free at 8, is that alright?" He asked. Laura typed her number into his phone and quickly texted herself before handing the phone back to him.

"I can make 8 work." She said. She'd have to get up earlier than usual but she supposed that was normal time for him. He turned away with a smile, and she began the drive back to Howling Buck.

****

Her phone died in the middle of the night. So when her alarm was supposed to go off at 7 she was blissfully unaware. Snuggled under the covers of the guest room bed in a hoodie and two pairs of pants to fight off the October chill.

Laura only woke when the sound of a truck door slamming interrupted her peaceful dream. She dragged herself out of bed and slipped on the hardwood floor in the fuzzy socks she wore. She caught herself on the doorframe and shuffled into the bathroom to fix her hair.

It was a tangled knotted mess. She pulled it back in a bun and tried to tame the frizzy bits that weren't quite long enough to catch before tugging at the large hoodie she wore, trying to make herself presentable.

She made her way groggily to the kitchen where she used the coffee pot to begin brewing some tea. It was the only use she had for one. She glanced out the kitchen window to see Javier leading Outlaw out of a trailer and tying him to the side.

He wore a heavy gray coat buttoned tightly and a gray cowboy hat with a black hat band. He had black gloves on his hands but he still stopped to rub his hands together and breathe into his palms. She turned back to the coffee pot and added enough water for two cups of tea.

She turned back to the window to watch Javier. He led a third horse from the trailer. A gray paint horse that was barely tall enough to be considered a horse. This horse was fully tacked and he tied it to the opposite side of the trailer.

Javier walked to the gate that led into the pasture and unlatched it, tugging at it, and pausing when it didn't move. He bent down beside the gate and inspected something before standing up and rubbing his hands together. She furrowed her brow as he walked towards the ranch house and panicked when he stopped to peer at the missing step leading to the porch.

She squinted in the window, fussing with her hair again until the inevitable knock on the door came. She sighed and straightened her hoodie, before making her way to the front door and opening it.

Javier smiled at her and gave her a small wave. She returned it and stepped to the side, gesturing for him to come in. He took his hat off his head and held it against his chest before wiping his boots on the welcome mat and stepping inside. He set the hat on the table beside the door and took his gloves off to tuck them in his coat pocket.

"Santa mierda Chica it's freezing in here!" He said, rubbing his hands together again. She felt a blush cover her cheeks and smoothed her hand over her hair.

"Yeah um, furnace is busted." She said. Her voice rasped with sleep and she cleared her throat. Javier shook his head with a smirk and stepped past her into the kitchen to disappear into the pantry. He popped out and waved her over. She squeezed into the pantry with him and he set his hand on her shoulder.

"Ok this is your gas shutoff," he pointed to a black pipe with the bright yellow handle in a small cove, "see how it's sideways? That means it's off." He said. Laura nodded and turned to face him. She realized how uncomfortably close she was to this man she had only met yesterday, and tried to shuffle away. But he was so warm.

He turned the handle so it was in line with the pipe. He then pointed to the second set of pipes in the small space and shifted, so she was standing in front of him with her back pressed to his chest.

"That's your water shut off valve." He turned it on and looked down at her. She turned to face him and caught a glimpse of a scar running over the bridge of his nose. She turned her attention back to the pipes and turned the valve. She heard water flow through the pipes and grinned. Javier stepped out of the pantry and she followed.

He walked down the hallway to the closet outside the bathroom and slid the door open, kneeling down and fussing with a few panels on the furnace. He pulled a pack of matches from his pocket, holding the box between his teeth and pulling one out. He scraped the tip against his thigh and the match ignited.

He repeated the process with the water heater. It took him all of ten minutes, while calling a plumber would have taken days and cost her more than she could afford.

"Thank you, you didn't have to do all that." She said hesitantly, tucking some loose hair behind her ear. Javier pushed himself to stand with a groan and waved her off.

"Don't worry about that." He made his way to the front door and stood politely beside the table. "I kind of owe you, I'm the one who shut all this stuff off when Zach left." He explained. Laura raised her eyebrows. The coffee pot in the kitchen dinged and she turned to look at it. She uncrossed her arms and pointed to the kitchen, clearing her throat.

"Do you want some tea?" She asked. Javier quirked one brow and scratched at the beard covering his chin.

"Tea? At 8 in the morning?" He asked with a small grin. Laura snorted and waved him off as she walked into the kitchen.

"It has more caffeine than coffee." She threw over her shoulder. She heard the distinct thunk of his boots and the jingle of his spurs as he followed her. She slid two mugs away from the back of the counter, ones she brought from home, and poured the tea in each. She set the sugar jar on the peninsula in front of Javier and pulled the milk she’d bought yesterday from the fridge.

She made her tea and Javier experimented with his, adding bits of milk and sugar until he was satisfied with the taste. By the time he finished the black tea was closer in color to a latte and she wondered if it tasted as sweet.

"So how close were you with Zach?" She asked, sipping her tea. Javier lowered the mug and smoothed his mustache down.

"He was like a father to me." He said with a nod. Laura tipped her head to the side.

"When I came here I didn't speak much English and I was, uh," He cleared his throat and Laura almost missed the slight pink tinge covering his cheeks. "I was in a bad spot." He finished. Laura leaned against the counter and nodded.

"Zach would bring me food and, when I got over my pride, got me the job at Dutch's." Javier took another sip of his tea. Laura smiled and nodded. That was the uncle she vaguely remembered. Javier cleared his throat again and swiped at his cheek before downing the rest of his tea and standing up, setting his hand flat on the counter.

His hands were large and his knuckles were calloused. He had tattoos on his fingers. The word "stay" with a cross below the "S." She wondered what other tattoos he had, and if she would ever see them.

"He sounds like a good man." She tore his attention away from his hand and looked back to his face. Javier nodded.

"One of the best. You don't remember him?" Javier asked. Laura puffed out a breath and shook her head.

"Not really. He was my mother's brother and they stopped talking when I was young." She said with a shrug. She looked around the ranch house and sighed. Javier nodded and picked up his mug. He walked to the sink and rinsed it out before placing it upside down on a clean dish towel beside the sink.

"Well you must have been special for him to leave this place to you." Javier said, walking back towards the front door. He picked up his hat and shoved it back on his head, adjusting the brim and his hair.

"Oh I almost forgot. I was going to ride the fence but the hinges on the gate are broken. I can fix it, it'll just take a few hours." He said. Laura groaned and leaned her head against the wall beside the door. She rubbed the bridge of her nose, and shook her head.

"You don't have to do that, I'm sure you're busy." She said. She pulled her phone out of her sweatpants pocket and glanced at the time. 8:45. She had already kept him longer than she meant to.

"No, I'm free all day." He opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch. He stepped off to the side when she followed, carefully avoiding the hole in the porch that seemingly led to a bottomless abyss.

"I can pay you, how much do you need?" She asked, ready to make a note so she could write him a check later. He waved her off and stepped off the porch, being careful not to trip on the splintered step.

"A glass of whiskey and a few peaches from that tree." He gestured to the large tree just inside the pasture, to the right of the gate. Laura wrinkled her nose.

"That's a peach tree?" She asked. Javier chuckled.

"Well it's not in season now, but si, I helped him plant it the first year I worked at Dutch's." Javier explained. Laura crossed her arms and nodded, leaning against the banister of the porch.

"So you want to be paid in whiskey and peaches?" She asked, one brow raised in disbelief. Javier nodded and leaned against Outlaw, patting his side.

"Whiskey and peaches."

@rdrbigbang

#let love run red #rdrminibang22 #rdr2 javier escuella #javier escuella rdr2 #rdr2 javier #javier escuella #modern javier escuella #modern!javier escuella #modern au #original female character #whiskey and peaches

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crucified-bloodhound · 26 days

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being single for almost two years (not counting the gf i had in december, ill address that later) has made me learn a lot about love.

trigger warning - mentions of sa, eating disorders, and self harm

i've learned about how i want to love. how i want to be loved. what compromise is. what communication is. i have learned from the friends that i have made into family that love is not always easy. no one is perfect and no love is perfect.

i've learned what i'm not willing to take from someone. when i asked my ex to be my girlfriend, after months of talking, i drove 45 minutes for our first in person date. she commented on my body and what i ate at dinner. she made me do things when i clearly showed and said outright i didnt want to. we cuddled in my car in the dark parking lot of her hometown shopping mall and, just a few days after i told her i wasnt ready to do more than hug and lay together and hold hands, she pressed into me and told me she had a boner. just a few days after i confided in her about my recent lapse into my old habits of body dysmorphia and hitting the gym too hard and resting too little, she squeezed the fat on my hip and stomach. i learned that i don't have to say yes. that i dont have to pressure myself in my own head to lay and wait when i want to begin the long drive home north on 76 and through the lonely streets of my city square. i learned i dont have to be quiet and wait until i am calm to share my discomfort. i learned how to stand up for myself. i learned how to see the road through the tears.

i learned what is not worth doing because of pain. i learned i dont have to hurt on the outside to validate what's on the inside, to make it real. i learned how to talk to strangers kind enough to ask, with genuine fucking care, "are you okay?" and "what's going on?" i learned that no matter how many scars i have, no matter how stupid and small i feel watching them fade, that my pain has always been real. my pain is more than "big feelings" and "crying it out." i learned that there are people who care about that pain enough to let me sit in it, still and unharmed, for as long as i need, no matter how much they wish they could just make it go away. i learned that high beams dont work in the rain.

i learned that there are good people. not people that are inherently good or above me - people that want to be good. want to do good things for people who ask or need or neither. i learned that sometimes, people just care. there's no transaction in that. no expectation, no "owing you one," no long road of penance for being treated as both fragile and strong, both big and small. i learned the joy in letting someone pass me on the four lane busy streets and seeing the good old midwest wave through the back windshield.

i learned how to give. i learned that everyone else is in pain too. i learned that it is vulnerable in the most exalting of ways to offer up your soul for the family you choose. i learnes how to comfort my friends at college missing their parents two states over or halfway across the country, even if i dread coming home to mine each day. i learned to acknowledge how hard it must be to be someone else. i learned to opem my arms when a friend comes running. i learned how to warn my passenger before we hit a bump, brake fast, gas it hard, or turn sharp.

i learned that even on the shitty days, loving is the best thing for my soul. i learned that no matter how much ive bled or been hit or touched when i didnt ask for it or stared in the mirror for too long, that my skin is worth caressing, my body worth protecting, that i'm still a virgin if i say i am, that the reflection will always be worth smiling at. i learned of mirth. of pain. of how to feel good. that my body is still mine no matter how many people tried to take a piece of it with them and no matter how young and stupid i was when i let them. i learned that love is so much more than a peck on the cheek in the morning or water after sex. i learned when to pull over to breathe.

#queer #queer love #dyke #butch #butch dyke #gay #trans dyke #i learned how to love #jackie rants #life is so beautiful when you let it be #even when youre a queer teen in a red state #there is always hope #theres always the dream of running to maine #theres always the sun and the moon in the same sky at dawn #and there is always someone worth my love #and their love of which im worthy; too #long post

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