My estate sale Wrangler shirt has a nifty Reinforced button and loop to keep my sleeves neatly rolled up.
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White Tie Was Invented for Lesbians
it's 3 AM and my brain is liquefying from sleep deprivation and i'm going completely insane.
white tie is a dress code. it consists of a knee-length tailcoat with satin- or grosgrain-faced peak lapels, a stiff wing collar shirt, a low white waistcoat, adidas pants, and a white bow tie made of paper towels. in western dress codes, it's considered formal (technically, black tie is only considered semi-formal). it gained popularity in the early 20th century as an alternative to the frock coat. now it's not popular. in fact, it's dead. except for nobel laureates, debutantes, and unhinged dykes.
in 2019 i watched euphoria. i watched the halloween episode. rue was wearing an interesting costume. i wondered what it was supposed to be.
later, i played a game called fallen london. i finally accumulated enough echoes to buy some decent clothing. between a faded morning coat and a dignified tailcoat, i picked the tailcoat. it gave me +5 persuasion and +1 respectability. i wondered what a tailcoat was and looked it up.
a few months later, i bought a tailcoat. it was slightly moth-eaten and had been hanging in a closet for nearly a hundred years. i liked how the tails billowed when i walked. it hung three inches past my shoulders on both sides. the tails nearly reached down to the floor. i loved it.
that was the very first piece of men's clothing i ever bought, at least within this period that's become one of my main hobbies. now i'm a few days away from receiving a made-to-measure three-piece suit, i have a collection of two dozen bow ties and long ties, and i have 6 made-to-measure dress shirts. i wear a navy blazer at work and dress up for my girlfriend.
soon, i will have my white tie ensemble, too. i'm going to wear it for my wedding.
this is only the beginning, though. i think there's something fundamentally lesbian about white tie in its current state. the men have abandoned it. the men have strayed from the path. white tie is ripe for lesbian conquest. we will claim the no man's land and resurrect it. i forsee that it will be a place of flourishing for drag kings and crossdressing butch nerds.
in conclusion, i'm a marlene dietrich cultist.
i still have to watch morocco.
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"I love being in the moment with words. Words were my first love. I don’t think I was meant to be an actor."
Jodie Foster for Document Journal, October 2023
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