• so like
• the little ones around the mountain would get groomed by Wukong atleast once a month.
• it's just, the sight of it getting into their eyes really bothers the shit outta him.
• because we all know Wukong takes care of himself, such as; shaving his eyebrows, managing his fur, probably does skincare like cucumbers over his eyes and putting vaseline over his lips.
• so he'd make schedules for each little monkey and groom them.
• but
• the little guys hate it, they hate it so much.
• Wukong would struggle so much cutting their long fur, since the little ones would squirm really hard and he had to buy a little muzzle so they wouldn't bite him.
"Just a little— hey, heY! No biting, be grateful! You hafta look up just to see a goddamn flower!"
• Wukong always feels bad doing it because the little ones would whine like they were crying, but like— he barely touched them, so he doesn't know what to feel.
• here comes you, saving the day, because he asked you for help— promising to just fetch you via cloud.
• the plan was simple, you'd hold them while he snips at their long hairs.
• you once asked him why couldn't he just summon like ten of his monkey clones to assist him, but he'd always make up some excuse like..
"I mean, you're already here and my head hurts, ya know? Using my power just drains me, you don't want to see me in pain, do you?"
• gives you the sparkly-eyes like a wet dog
• he just wants to spend time with you but he'd never say it seriously.
• it was actually funny seeing him scold the monkeys for moving too much, or threatening to bite him.
• you'd hum the little ones silly little Disney songs or random lullabies to distract them from the razor's buzzing, since that seemed to stress them out, causing them to struggle.
• it was fun, just the two of you hanging out.
• when you guys were done after a few days, Wukong would build up courage to ask you out on a few outings... dates, if you wanna call them that.
• all perfect until Macaque decided to join for no damn reason.
• i mean, there is a reason, Macaque wants you too.
• Macaque would accidentally push Wukong into one of his shadow portals and offer his help to you.
"OH MY GODS, MACAQUE!"
"What? He's fine, he's many times immortal. He needs exercise every now and then. Enough about him, did you miss me?"
• he'd say it so sweetly as Wukong would zip back to his mountain, wet and angry because Macaque just dumped his ass into the ocean.
• that piece of shit. Macaque knows what he's doing.
• he never knew why but the little ones are always much more calmer with Macaque.
• they'd barely move and sometimes they'd fucking fall asleep.
• you didn't even need to do anything.
"Just sit still and look pretty. Now tell me, baby, how was your day?"
• fuming Wukong
• Wukong would just pout and grumble as he watched you and Macaque converse, hearing Macaque's little hidden insults about him- but you didn't know.
• they'd fist-fight when you leave, yelling and throwing insult here and there. they'd never fight in front of you, atleast not physically.
• would pinch and poke each others sides while you weren't looking, lightning struck inbetween their eyes as they fought for your attention.
• at the end of the day, they'd definitely work together to make you happy— but that doesn't magically make them get along, no.
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