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#left out the part where he curses them with chapped lips cause well none of them have lips
silveme · 1 year
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Being soooo normal abt Ramattra rn
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if we had 5 more minutes — f. w.
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Summary: You thought you could save Fred from the rumbles of falling stones; you did your best, only to be in the rumbles with him instead.
Words: 2,160 words
Warnings ⚠ : ANGST, TW: Death, TW: Battle of Hogwarts, TW: war, TW: injuries, Fred died, you died, big Pain™, I strongly suggest tissues and a dozen of comfort chocolates, I cried so you will too, Basically An Emotional Rollercoaster, Read At Your Own Risk
Disclaimer: inspired by Billie Eilish's cover of The End of The World, so... ya'll know this is going to be a painful ride. Buckle up your seatbelts and enjoy. Reblogs and Comments are Highly Appreciated! <3 p/s: reading this with the song at the background really helps with the tear pouring effect ;)
Disclaimer 2.0: i know what yall are thinking... what tf is syaf doing, posting a fic when she’s in a hiatus she just posted yesterday? Also where is mad hatter chap 5 and epilogue? well, my brain likes to conjure up ideas at very inappropriate times (like rn) so bare with me and uh i’ve been really physically and mentally exhausted from work (retail is bathshit crazy) to write the mad hatter series so idk when will i update the two chapters but i’m working on it! thank you for being patient, and im sorry for causing you guys to wait for so long, ilysm don’t kill me <3 
masterlist! | general taglist! | buy me a coffee!
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The end of the world.
The Battle of Hogwarts looked like the end of the world. Curses and spells thrown left to right, different kinds of bodies found at each corner and crook, walls here and there crumbling as down as hope for freedom. And blood.
At that point of time, the pools of blood on the floor look the same; pureblood or not. Because they bleed the same anguish red.
You didn't need to see the apocalypse of the world anymore. Screw the end of Mother Earth; this battle in front of your eyes was more than enough — sadly — to be your end of the world.
“Hey,” You called, causing Fred to turn his head around to your direction, his lips etched up a smile before replying with another hey. You sat next to him, the place where George had sat before he got up and left to speak with Professor Lupin.
Evil is winning, and good is losing. But then again, what difference would it make; if good kills as many as evil? At the end of the world, there is no good and evil alone. There are desperation, madness, and hunger for power, lust for victory brought along with them.
So, at the end of the world, you chose to be side by side with your lover, Fred Weasley. The red-headed dork you’ve taught yourself to pour your love into had become the very source of your life. He is your elixir, he is your soul, heart, and happiness.
It was silent for a while, none of you had anything to say. Yet the silence was comforting, with only the presence of each other as calming as it is. “Y/N,” Fred suddenly turned his head to you, biting his lower lip in contemplation. “Hm?” “Can you just stay at the Burrow?” 
You blinked, “What?” Fred sighed, “Can you just stay at the Burrow right now and not join the war? I- I don’t want you to join in-” “Fred-” “I-It’s dangerous and it’s literally a war a-and I don’t want you to get hurt I would- I would rather die than have you hurt-” 
“Fred!” You raised your voice, your hand clasping onto his securely, an effort to calm his frenzied thoughts. He stopped rambling and stared at you with those doe eyes you adored so much, “You know I can’t do that.”
“We need everyone on board for this war. I am no exception- bloody hell, even your parents are joining in, Freddie!” You tried to explain slowly, and Fred closed his eyes in denial of defeat. 
“I love you,” he suddenly blurted out. He noticed the slight fluster you had, your eyebrows were raised for a millisecond before they furrowed upon a realization, ��Wait, why are you saying this now? I-“ “I love you, Y/N,” he repeated himself and you shook your head, realizing what he was doing, “Wait, hold on a minute, no-“
He was saying it in case anything happens.
“Y/N, I love you-” “Don’t you dare say it one more time like you’re not gonna make it, Fred Weasley, I swear to Merlin,” You cut him off, your jaw clenching at his absurdness. “… Aren’t you gonna say it back?” Fred asked, his voice was small.
“I-” You sighed, “No, I won’t because I don’t want to say it right now, given the circumstances,” You paused, your voice quieting down, “It felt like a goodbye when you say it like that.” “Then when will you say it? We’ve been dating for almost a year and you'd never say it before,” He said.
“Really? This is the time to argue about this?” You gave him a pointed look, but your expression softened as you understood the meaning behind his actions. “Look, Freddie, I- You know how I feel about us,” You sighed, looking down at your hands on your lap, “You know I’m not that expressive with my words but- but I’m trying and- okay, let’s make a deal,” Fred’s ears perked up the mention of a deal. "I'm listening," he drawled.
“I’ll say the words when the war is over,” Fred gave you a sour look that clearly said ‘really?’ and it caused you to huff a smile, “Once everything is over, and everything is okay again, I’ll say them as many times as you want me to, okay?” Fred leaned into your touch as you cupped his cheek with your hand, kissing his forehead.
“Even if I made you say it a thousand times?” He asked and you chuckled, your heart warming at his childlike question, “I’ll say it for an hour if you asked me to.”
It happened so fast.
One second you were fighting off the Death Eaters with Percy and Fred, and then the other, you find your body aching at the major pressure from the rocks and debris that used to be Hogwarts’ protective wall from the outside world.
It was dark, and it was dusty, but you were too unconscious to notice. That was until you felt your cheek being patted a few times. As you gained consciousness with a cough or two, you also gained the pending pain spreading all across your whole body. You couldn’t feel your legs, or safe to say your whole lower body part. 
Memories of you a few moments ago trying to push Fred away from the rumbles but ended up facing the falling stones head-on with him instead began to flow back into your mind. How foolish could you be to act like a hero, as if you could sacrifice yourself for him to live.
“… Y-Y/N…”
You turned your head with a silent grunt, and your eyes fixate at the body beside you, a few feet away, Fred. 
He had blood leaking from his nose and ears, probably from the impact, and his face was dusty with debris from the stones. As he looked at you, he threw you a smile; a weak, hiding the fact that he’s in immense pain kind of smile.
“F-fancy seeing you here,” he grunted with a wince, a smile nevertheless rested on his lips. “Fred…” you could only mutter his name, closing your eyes for a brief second at the growing pain on your thighs. The pressure from the rumbles had slowly increased, and you felt yourself losing consciousness again. Only to be brought back to open your eyes as Fred poked your cheeks a few more times, “Hey, hey, s-stay with me, love.”
“We’ll… We’ll be okay.”
You winced at the trickling sensation on your skin as you tried to move your fingers towards him, “It’s… It’s impossible, Fred…” You voiced out, your voice cracking up. You saw Fred’s lips quivered before he threw you another comforting smile, “Don’t… Don’t say that. We’ll make it… I-I know we will.”
“We… We will?”
Groaning from the injuries on his body as he tried to move closer to you, he nodded, “We will.”
You felt his fingers trying to reach for yours, and you handed him assistance as you hooked your fingers with his. His hand was cold, trembling. But it was Fred’s. And Fred’s hand is always warm.
“It’s… It’s so heavy,” You whimpered in pain, looking at Fred for comfort. All Fred wished to do at the moment was to be strong enough. Strong enough to push off these rumbles pressing onto his body. Strong enough to pull you out from the pain. All he wished for was for you to not be in pain anymore. But he knew he couldn’t do anything. The rumbles were too big, too heavy, and it would take a while for anyone to find them at the bottom of everything. 
Fred breathed out heavily through his mouth, slowly finding it difficult to breathe through his nose anymore, trying his best to look strong for you, “Stay with me, love. S-stay with me. Five more minutes. F-five more minutes and they’ll- they’ll save us…”
“Fred…”
“Five more minutes, I promise…”
You saw the desperation in his eyes, trying his best to somehow keep you afloat until you two are saved. You heard muffles from the other side, Percy screaming for Fred and you. His screams were sad and painful to hear; you would’ve cried for him if it wasn’t for the constant high-pitched ringing in your ears.
“Fred, h-hold my hand. P-please,” You whispered, finding no more strength to say anything louder than a whisper. He instantly intertwined your fingers with his, stretching as far as he could to reach you; no matter how screeching the pain in his lower body was.
“Fred,” You called him again. He chuckled a bit, “You’re… you’re saying my name a lot of times right now, darling.” You huffed a smile, the corner of your lips twitched, “… I want to ask you something.”
“… Anything.”
Your eyes met his, even in the darkness, his eyes still managed to look so beautiful. So earthly beautiful. “… Are you happy, Freddie?”
There was something about the way you say it, Fred couldn’t get a touch of what it was but… it felt like a goodbye. As much as Fred hated to admit, he wasn’t holding on much longer either. He was bleeding heavily from everywhere, his wand was out of his reach, and his body was starting to numb. His vision began to blur by itself, hence he blinked his eyes repeatedly. Trying his best to see your features clearly, one last time, if the worst happens.
This is it, he thought. This is the end of my line. 
Finding an urge to cry, but didn’t have enough strength to sob, Fred let out a tear or two onto the dusty surface he laid his head on, his eyes closing after the content stare of your beautiful— though bloody and dusty— face. How ironic, he’s slipping away first even though he was the one who said five more minutes.
If only you had five more minutes.
“W-with… With you? Heh, always… “ The whisper coming out from his mouth caused you to narrow your eyes at him. It felt strange, it felt wrong. Was he saying goodbye? Watching Fred close his eyes was alarming, so you gained all your strength to pat his hand a few times, “H-hey, Freddie… Five more minutes. Hang… Hang on for five more minutes, please.”
You squeezed his hand, and he naturally squeezed back, only this time it was weaker than usual. His grip on your hand started to soften, but you tightened yours desperately. The pain all over your body was partially forgotten, your only focus was on keeping Fred breathing and alive, as well as yourself. 
“I’m… I’m trying, my love… but I’m sleepy… and tired…” he mumbled, his words became slurred by time. He was on the edge, you realized that. Upon the sad realization, you bit your tongue, trying your best to prepare for the worst. “L-look at me, darling,” Your voice quivered, feeling the sandy surface on your temple as you tried to force your eyes open, to properly look at him, “Look at me.”
You knew it. He was slipping away from your fingers, and you were slipping too. It didn’t matter anymore even if Percy bulldozed his way to you now, it was too late. Simply too late. And that’s none of his faults. It’s none of his and none of yours.
Some things are just meant to be.
You took your other hand and placed it onto his cold, dirty cheek. Caressing his cheekbone gently, you gave him a comforting smile, “Fred.”
He looked at you, a faint smile on his lips. He’s at the end, you acknowledged. You widen your smile to assure him, although the tears escaping your eyes say otherwise, “… You make me happy. You make me so so happy. And I… I love you.”
“I love you, Freddie.”
With a big smile, Fred widened his eyes weakly, letting out a sigh of content as he looked at you with gentle eyes,“… Now that wasn’t so hard, now was it?“
Gentle eyes that soon hollowed empty.
“Yeah,” the dam of your tears broke down, “Took me a long time...” You squeezed his now lifeless hand, trying to find comfort and warmth from him for the last time. You smiled at Fred, whilst tears rolling down your temple slowly as if mourning the passing of your lover for you. You inched closer to him, careful not to graze your injuries, and met your nose with his.
You caressed his cheek, finally feeling yourself lose consciousness. This is it, you thought, I won’t wake up ever again. “You said we’ll be okay,” You whispered weakly, huffing a content smile on your lips. Staring into his eyes that had held so much love and pure unadulterated affection for you all these years, now empty with no trace of life, had sent you into pain more powerful than the injuries present on and in your body.
“I guess we will be, after this.”
“… You spent your last five minutes with me, huh?” You felt yourself going in and out of consciousness, and your vision blurring continuously, “Aren’t you a sappy git,” the mere whisper escaped your mouth with a sigh. The warm smile never left your lips, and the only thing in your mind was how peaceful he looked as of that moment, and you wondered if you’ll ever be in that state of peace, with him.  
“No- no- no!” someone was shouting. “No! Fred! no!” And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them with his hand on Y/N’s head, and the pair of lovers stared at each other without seeing, the ghost of their last smile still etched upon their faces.
On our last few drags of air, we agree
I was, and you were
Happy
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chudleycanonficfest · 3 years
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For Good
Day 5, Story #1 is by @accio-broom
Title: For Good Author/Artist: accio-broom Pairing: Ron & Harry Prompt: Brother from another mother / Song Fic Rating: T Trigger Warning(s) (if any): A small amount of peril
They should have known the fight wasn’t going to go their way when they entered the warehouse, but determined to prove their skills as newly graduated Aurors, Harry and Ron barrelled ahead anyway. And now, only ten minutes later, the chaos of the fight is overwhelming them.
Five rogue Death Eaters have backed them into a corner. The rest of the Auror team are here, somewhere, but despite Harry’s loud pleas, nobody comes to save them.
Harry’s heart pounds in his chest as he clutches hold of his best friend. Curses whoosh above their heads, crashing into the stone wall behind them. The taste of dust from the rubble dries his mouth. There has only ever been one other time he’s felt like this, desperate and out of his depth, and he died then, too. 
He is expecting the outcome of this fight to be the same.
There’s so much Harry still has to do. He doesn’t want to die yet. Harry wants children and the chance to have a family with the woman he loves. He hasn’t waited nervously at the top of an aisle for Ginny’s appearance in a white dress to take his breath away. Heck, he hasn’t even had a chance to propose. There are still rooms in their new cottage that they have yet to christen.
It’s too soon. The redhead beside Harry cringes against the wall. Ron still has his whole life ahead of him too.
A purple curse hits Harry square in the chest, stealing the last of the breath from his lungs. His body grows rigid, but his cry echoes around them.
Ron calls out, shielding his friend with his own body as he clutches Harry’s dirty robes. “Harry! No!” 
“Ron,” Harry croaks. “What’s happening?”
“Stay with me, Harry. You’re going to be okay.”
The room around them is growing dark. This is the end.
“I just want to say thank you, Ron. For everything. You didn’t have to be my friend that first day on the Hogwarts Express, but you took me on and let me be a part of your family. And then, you even allowed me to date Ginny.”
“I don’t think—”
Harry can’t let his best friend interrupt this, not when there are so many important things he needs to say before he breathes his last breath. “I just want you to know.” He inhales deeply, coughing as a cloud of dust fills his lungs. “B-because I knew you, I have been changed for good.”
A hack takes over his body, burning his throat as he fights with his last grasp on consciousness. The light dims, so Harry chooses to focus on Ron’s deep ocean blue eyes staring back at him, concern pouring out of them as they sparkle with tears.
And then Harry sees no more.
Warmth shines on Harry’s face. Nothing hurts, and none of the usual thoughts troubles him. 
Everything is good.
When he first opens his eyes, he expects to see King’s Cross station and Headmaster Dumbledore waiting to ask Harry if he wants to move on or stay behind. Harry’s not sure if he’d like to be a ghost. He hasn’t had much time to think about it, which is quite peculiar for a man who always seems to be on the edge of death. He hopes Dumbledore will congratulate him on a good job again. Harry quite liked that before.
But instead of the beautiful Victorian arches and pale green benches hidden behind a light smattering of ethereal fog, all Harry sees is white. No kindly old mentor waits to greet him, and there’s no squawking corpse of his enemy there to help him ponder the real meaning of life.
So this is what dying is really like?
At least it’s cosy wherever he is. The bed he lies on is comfortable, and crisp, white sheets envelop his body. A steady beep fills his ears, and it smells clean. He’s going to like it here. Harry is about to close his eyes and drift back off to sleep for a while longer—he has all the time in the world now, after all—but a long, black blurry shape appears in front of him. As he grows more awake, he can hear other things, like the shuffle of papers and the scratch of a quill against parchment.
With a frown and a groan, Harry tries to sit up, but the action hurts, and he gives up before he’s even given it an honest try.
The blur speaks to him. “Stay there, mate. You’ve had a bad few hours.”
“Glasses?” Harry manages to croak through dry, chapped lips. “Where are my glasses?” 
If he’s still alive, he at least deserves to be able to see correctly. The shape presses a familiar metal into his hand, and gingerly, Harry lifts them to his face. Forms become sharper as the world finally shapes into focus.
“Welcome back.” Ron beams down at him. “You’ve been out for a couple of hours.”
Harry’s confused. “W-what happened?”
“Ah, mate.” Relief floods Ron’s face. “It was awful. Selwyn and his buddies cornered us, and I thought we were done for, especially when they hit you with that curse. Fuck knows what that was—the Healers were utterly stumped. You were fucking paralysed, Harry.
“They were about to hit me with the same thing when Smythe and the others finally found us, the lazy gits. They arrested everyone. Otherwise…” The redhead trails off with a sigh. He pauses, a mournful look crossing his face. After a moment, he shakes whatever thoughts are haunting him out of his head, and his usual lopsided grin reappears. “Anyway, I managed to grab you and Apparate us out of there. Brought you straight here.
“The healers are still running tests, but I think you’re going to be okay.”
Harry nods, memories of the fight roaring back into his mind. He scrunches his eyes tightly closed, trying to ignore the throb of pain. Maybe he bashed his head? Then with a groan, his final words to Ron echo, like the final moments of a love film.
Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.
“Paralysed, was I?”
“Yeah, I was trying to get you to move your fingers and your legs and stuff but nothing. Although it, uhm, it didn’t shut you up. You couldn’t stop talking.” Ron’s ears turn pink, and he takes a sudden interest in the top left corner of Harry’s sheets.
Harry’s not sure he wants his friend to repeat whatever he said. The memories are cringe-worthy enough. “Oh?” he questions anyway, inwardly kicking himself as the word falls out of his mouth.
A silent nod confirms Harry’s suspicions that whatever he thinks he said was actually spoken. Ron doesn’t say anything else. A flicker of movement from a diagnostic charm distracts both their attention, and Harry’s best friend glances up at the door with glassy eyes. He clears his throat before finally looking back at Harry.
“So, I owled Ginny and Hermione. And Mum, of course. Now I know you’re not going to die, I think I’ll go and wait outside for them. They’ll want to see you, and I don’t think Mum will do well trying to battle the Welcome Witch for an answer this afternoon. Plus, if anyone hears that the famous Harry Potter is in here, we’ll never get a moment’s peace.”
“Sure, thanks, mate.”
Harry closes his eyes again, letting the sound of trainers squeaking against the linoleum track Ron’s movements towards the exit. To Harry’s surprise, a surge of disappointment tugs at his heart. He confessed his true feelings to his best friend, told him how much he means to him, and got nothing back.
“Oh, and Harry?” 
Ron’s voice breaks through Harry’s brooding, causing the wizard’s eyes to shoot open as he lifts his head from his pillow just enough to glance at his best friend. “Yeah?”
“I love you, too.” Ron’s grin widens, and there’s a cheeky glint in his eyes. “Just wish you didn’t wait until you were on your deathbed to say it.” 
The ginger git’s glowing pink ears disappear before Harry can even reply. Harry sinks back into his bed, a small smile crossing over his lips. 
He knew it.
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rattyoakenbitch · 3 years
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❝𝐬𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝❞ ─ 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝
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oh, you're cold as ice, baby. i don't wanna fight, baby. it's like i told you; if you stay, i'll stay
❥ content ; gn reader, angst, happy ending
❥ warnings ; toxicity, drinking, strong language, big but legal age gap, steamy makeout session
❥ synopsis ; after a series of stressful events, you find yourself drinking again. unfortunately, so does spencer.
❥ a/n ; none !
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With a heavy, bone-tired sigh, Spencer stepped out of the elevator, making a beeline towards his apartment. He stopped outside the door, bringing his hand to his head. He ran it through his long, textured waves, his fingers getting stuck at the strands tangled together.
Spencer stayed like that, nervously idling outside his apartment. The apartment he shared with you.
Spencer had traveled to California for a case with his team prior. It had been days, if not a week since he had actually seen or talked to you. The day of his departure, you weren't exactly on the best of terms.
You loved Spencer. You didn't doubt it for a second. You would have left him long ago if you didn't. Still, your relationship wasn't perfect. You were both very different, career wise. You were an aspiring photographer, and worked at a local coffee shop on the side. Spencer worked at the BAU. Very different. You had just graduated from college when you met Spencer, and, despite the fact that he was almost ten years older, you hit it off and eventually began dating. Though your messy, inconsistent schedules got in the way of any quality time you could spend together, neither of you decided to go your seperate ways. You didn't want to. You were stubborn. So was Spencer. Not because he was desperate. Hell, he didn't even need to try to get girls. He was practically a pussy magnet.
But he chose you. And you chose him. Because you were both in love. Real love, and that's rare.
It still didn't change the fact that you were bothered by Spencer's lack of presence. You openly voiced your frustration over it several times, but you eventually learned to accept that your relationship would never be normal like that. As long as there were bad guys fucking shit up, Spencer would have no time being lovey-dovey.
Which is why Spencer felt uneasy, afraid of what he'd find at the other side of the door. Would you still greet him with open arms? Or would you shun him?
Well, you did neither.
Your eyes were glued to the screen in front of you, but you weren't mentally present. Which is also why you didn't notice Spencer walk in, his jaw hanging open.
The first thing he noticed were the crushed up cans dumped across the floor, along with broken glass bottles, identical to the one you held in your hand.
The apartment was void of any light, save for the dim illumination the TV screen emitted. Spencer almost didn't notice you in the darkness. You were curled up on the corner of the couch, your eyes, again, never once leaving the screen. Of course, the TV didn't provide enough light for Spencer to make out any your features, but he knew it was you.
"Y-You're drinking again?!" was the first thing Spencer could blurt out, his mind racing with thoughts. You jumped up from your spot on the couch, your heartbeat speeding up at the abrupt noise. You clumsily leaned over to the side table, switching on the lamp. The sudden brightness stung, causing tears to well in your bloodshot eyes.
"Ah - shit," you mumbled, rubbing your eyes. "Hello to you, too. I didn't even hear you come in."
"No, you didn't! What is all this?! What-" Spencer was at a loss for words. He scanned you from head to toe, not believing his eyes. Your hair was unkempt, to put it lightly. The dark circles under your tired eyes seemed to have become a deeper shade since the last time he had seen. Your lips were chapped, but wet with alcohol that also stained your clothes.
"Why?" was all Spencer managed to get out.
You shrugged your shoulders. "Dunno, got a little lonely and bored.." If it weren't for the alcohol, you don't know if you'd be able to remain calm in a situation like this.
"God! You could have stayed with family - I don't know! Just look at the place! Have you even left the apartment at all?"
"How can I stay with family when my only family is states away and constantly traveling?!" you finally snapped angrily.
"Is this what this is about?" Spencer said softly, the realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. He looked away from your hard stare, afraid of the guilt he'd feel.
You stuck out your bottom lip in a mocking pout. "Figure it out, genius boy."
"Watch it," Spencer snapped, but you merely rolled your eyes at him.
"You're not my dad. You're barely a boyfriend! You don't order me around," you sneered, watching a flash of pain spread across Spencer's face. But he was quick to compose himself, playing the calm, peace maker.
"Look, we can discuss this tomorrow when we're both rested and sober."
"Oh, really? The last time we made plans, you had to leave. It's all you know."
"Well what do you want me to do?! Do you want me to quit my job?!"
"I don't know, Spencer! I don't know anything, anymore!" you shouted back. Your head began to spin, tears blurring your vision and then you were on the floor, drunkenly grabbing at the air for support. Spencer rushed to your side, attempting to help, only for you to shove him back, harder than you probably intended. Now you were both a mess on the floor, crying and mumbling curses.
Spencer crawled towards you, clasping your hand in his. "Let me help, sweetheart. S'all I wanna do."
"I don't need your damn help," you scowled, hot tears still spilling down your flushed cheeks. You placed your free hand on his chest, but didn't try pushing him away. "I don't want it.. And I don't want you."
Spencer felt his heart ache at the statement, but he knew it was a lie. A facade.
"I know you don't mean that."
"Well you didn't mean it when you said 'I love you' so I guess we're both liars," you scoffed pitifully.
"I meant it, Y/N, and you know it." You remained silent. "I love you. I really do."
"No, just shut up and this'll be easier."
Tired of your attitude, Spencer gripped your chin, forcing you to look up at him, your glossy eyes locking with his deep browns.
"Dammit, Y/N, listen to me. I love you, so, so much, that I will put up with your stubborn attitude that I hate so much, because deep down, I know you're the biggest softie. And you love me, too, no matter what you say to get me to believe you don't."
"I don't love you." Lies. "I wish I never met you."
Spencer pressed his forehead against yours, nearly headbutting you with the sudden action. His lips just barely brushed against yours, and you could feel his hot breath fan your face.
"Don't you lie to me."
"I'm not lying. I hate you. I fucking loathe you, Spencer Reid."
"Then why haven't you backed away?" he whispered, his voice laced with hope.
Silence.
"Answer m-"
Just like that, your lips were on his, roughly claiming them while effectively shutting him up. Spencer didn't waste a second kissing you back, returning the same roughness. He slipped his tongue past your bottom lip, tasting the bitter alcohol that tainted them. You let out a quiet moan, hoping, just hoping he didn't hear. But of course he did, and that only encouraged him. He wrapped his arms around you desperately, trying to get as close to you as physically possible. Your bodies pressed up against each other perfectly, fitting together in all the right places and curves like a puzzle piece, made for each other.
And this is where you belonged, tangled up in your lover's arms. You didn't want to part. More than anything, you didn't want to break away. But eventually you had to, your lungs suddenly feeling tight with lack of oxygen.
You buried your head in the crook of Spencer's neck, sobbing out.
"God, I've missed you so much. Please don't leave me again. I love you so much, Spencer." You repeated it like a mantra, afraid Spencer would disappear into thin air if you stopped.
Spencer rubbed circles on your back comfortingly. "Shh, baby, I'm right here. I won't leave. I'm sorry. I love you so much," he cooed. "We'll be okay."
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velvetthunder1999 · 4 years
Text
All the time on Earth
Part 26 - Battle Under the Stars
Summary: When Death Eaters break into the school you join the fight but end up in the hospital wing, injured. George refuses to leave your bed for days, waiting for you to wake up.
Warning: None, really
Word count: 2.6K
George Weasley x Reader
Masterlist
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Darkness was descending fast that evening; as you set out to the library you saw the colorless sky and the thick, grey clouds covering the moon and the stars above the castle. You couldn’t even remember when was the last time you saw the stars.
Loud thunder echoed on the grounds, shaking the glass in the windows. You were passing on the torch-lit corridors, absent-mindidly taking the crystal hanging on your necklace into your hands, squeezing it gently, thinking about the person who gave it to you. This was not the first time you had done this; the last couple of months had caused you to grab the necklace during every anxious moment or every time you felt uneasy and worried. It helped a little, it gave you the feeling that you were not completely alone.
You turned left on the end of the corridor and jumped at the sound of another thunder. You liked rain and thunderstorms generally… But this was different. You could tell that now everything was different.
You looked out the window and saw people running around the foot of the Astronomy tower. You shook your head disapprovingly. You wished you could just roam around freely, instead of studying for your exams. Your N.E.W.T.s were arriving and you wanted to do your best… but sometimes it would have been nice to have some freetime to yourself.
You looked out the window again and stopped, confused. You examined the people around the tower more carefully now. They didn’t even look like children. They were adults. But why would teachers go out to run around a tower… and why were they wearing black clothes? And why were they…
“Oh, my God.”
Your whisper sounded like a scream on the empty corridor, there was no one near you. You grabbed the windowsill firmly, trying to figure out what to do next. Your heart was pounding. If the Death Eaters are inside the castle then…
“Help… McGonagall. Yes.”
You barely turned away when a flash of light illuminated the ground and the entrance to the Astronomy tower. You looked down, eyes wide. And then you saw people running out of the castle, shooting curses and hexes to the Death Eaters. You could make out Lupin’s tall figure, you heard Neville’s shout and you saw a ginger, long haired girl. Ginny.
It all happened so fast, you didn’t even remember how you ended up outside of the castle, but the next thing you knew was that your wand was in your hand and you were running towards a tall, ginger figure who was the closest to you.
“Impedimenta!” you shouted and your curse sent the Death Eater in the air. “Ron! What’s going on?”
Both of you ducked as a green light which seemed to come from nowhere burst into the column next to you.
“Death Eaters got in the school!” shouted Ron. “Malfoy’s been helping them!”
“Where’s Dumbledore?” you asked, peaking out, looking for the reassuring presence of the Headmaster. Ron sent a red curse towards another Death Eater before he answered.
“He’s not here! He took Harry with him!”
“What?” your voice was high pitched from panic. “We’re alone?!”
But Ron couldn’t answer for he was fighting with a huge, blond man who saw the two of you hiding behind the column. You screamed as a curse hit the wall barely missing your head, and Ron jumped out from hiding to have a better aim. Within seconds the pair of them seemed to dance away from you. You saw Neville figthing with a Death Eater just a few meters from you. You clutched your wand, took some quick breaths then started to run.
You couldn’t reach them, someone already sent a killing curse towards you. It swished between your ankles, and when you turned you saw a black, long haired man who was grinning maniacally at you. You conjured a stunning spell non-verbally, but you missed. He hit you with another killing curse, but you shouted ‘Impedimenta’ again and the two curses met mid-air, bouncing off of each other. “Crucio!” shouted the man again, and you jumped to the left. He laughed. “Dance, pretty one, while you can. Cruc —”
The air blown up and you felt flying backwards, hitting the ground hard and with a loud knock. Pain was blinding you as you felt something wet dripping down your face. You gasped for air but your throat filled with dust and ash; you were coughing, choking on your own saliva while desperately trying to breathe.
Around you people were shouting but you could not see anyone; stars were dancing before your eyes and you felt like you were going to faint in a second. Still coughing, you managed to get some fresh air as the dust started settling, and your sight immediately got better. You raised your head, seeing with a shock that the man who you were fighting with was back on his feet, clearly in better condition than you. He looked around and as he saw you lying on the ground, he grinned.
You reached for your wand but you had to realize with growing panic that you couldn’t find it. The man was getting closer. You started backing away half-sitting, dragging your feet behind you that just didn’t seem to remember how to stand. You couldn’t dare to look away and scream for help, you knew no one would be fast enough to help you. It was only you, the man who was now tilting his head with a tedious laugh and…
The wand!
Your fingers touched a pencil-like object and you pointed towards the Death Eater, screaming your last hope into the cold night air.
“Stupefy!”
The curse hit him on his neck and he fell backwards with a loud thud. Panting, you got to your feet but your legs were shaking uncontrollably. You stumbled to the Death Eater and picked up his wand from the ground. Grabbing it tight, you snapped it in two.
“Y/N!” you heard someone screaming your name and you turned around. You saw the huge blond man running towards you. You raised your wand.
“Impedi —”
The purple light hit you right in the middle of your chest and you felt like you were burning and freezing at the same time. You let out a surprised little groan and then everything went black.
——
Warmth. That was the first thing you felt. You were incredibly, unbearably warm. You felt heavy covers on top of your body, and even though they had a nice smell, they were incredibly warm. Who had the idea to put covers on you? It was July, for crying out loud.
Before your eyes flashed a purple light and you remembered the fight. The fight! The Death Eaters! Were you… were you dead? But no, you couldn’t be. You could breath. You felt your lungs filling with air. Or would you be breathing once you were dead? You didn’t know.
Why was it so dark, then? Why couldn’t you see everything? Oh… Your eyes. Your eyes must be closed. Well… let’s open them, then! Come on. Argh. Why was it so hard? It felt like your eyelids were made of stones.
Slowly, very slowly, you were able to open them, but closed them all at once. It was so bright outside, your eyes were burning in pain. You rested, then tried again. This time it hurt, too, but it wasn’t as bad as the first attempt. Blinking rapidly, within a minute you were able to look around, wherever the hell you were.
First thing you saw was the covers on you; you were right, then, someone had been determined to put numerous layers on you. Then, you looked further and you saw a few beds and a huge door which seemed quite familiar. Oh, yes. The hospital wing. You were alive, then. That was good news.
Someone was breathing in your close vicinity, but your head seemed too heavy to turn it to the other way. Your hair was in the way, and your face felt itchy. You wanted to scratch it but you couldn’t move your hand either. Now that you were paying attention to it, you felt someone holding your hand. And the breathing seemed to come from that direction, too.
Now, you were quite interested. With all your effort you turned your head to the other way, and immediately saw a boy with ginger hair resting his head on your matress, sleeping. He was facing the other way, his messy hair literally burning on the white linen. He was holding your hand.
You opened your mouth to say his name, but all you could produce was soundless miming. You took a deep breath and tried again. His name seemed too difficult to actually say it out loud, but you tried with a soft ‘Hey’. It was low and weak. He did not seem to hear you; he was fast asleep.
You closed your eyes, discouraged by your weakness. But you wanted to see him. You had to see him. You looked at his ginger head, this time squeezing his hand as hard as you could, while preparing to speak. You breathed as much air as you could, then gave out a screechy, croaky sound.
“Hey.”
He jerked his head immediately, but not realizing it was you who had spoken. You spoke again.
“Hey.”
He turned to you, his eyes wide, panting. For a second he just stared, then he was all over you, pressing tender, but desperate kisses on every free inch of your face.
“Y/N… Thank Merlin. I tought… Oh, Y/N.”
He backed away a bit, giving you space to breathe. You looked into his face and your insides were clenching nervously. He looked dreadful. His face was pale and sicklish, under his eyes deep, dark circles were visible. His hair was everywhere and his lips were dry and chapped. You felt his hand shaking as he was holding yours.
“What’s happened to you?” you asked, wincing at the effort every time you spoke. “What happened?”
“Sh…” he seemed scared, hearing your croaky voice. “Don’t talk now.”
“What happened?” you said again firmly.
He brought his chair closer to your head. He did not let go of your hand.
“Well… You were hit pretty badly by a curse but Madam Pomfrey says you’re gonna —you’re gonna be all right,” his voice was high and shaky. You frowned.
“And you?”
“Me?” he seemed taken aback. You nodded.
“You look dreadful.”
He chuckled, forcing a smile.
“Well, thanks, love.”
“I’m serious. Have you eaten at all?”
He didn’t answer. Your heart started to sting.
“George—”
“I was so worried,” he said, barely louder than a whisper. From up-close his face looked even worse. You felt guilty for making him this anxious.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t — Don’t say that. I’ll call Madam Pomfrey, okay?”
You nodded and he stood up and left, but not before kissing your forehead once again. While he was away, you looked around in the hospital wing; you were relieved to find that your bed was the only occupied one.
George returned withing seconds, following Madam Pomfrey. While she was pouring a greenish liquid from a white bottle into a cup, you saw George pointing his wand towards the door and casting his patronus which then ran away. Then he looked at you, sitting back onto his chair, taking your hand again.
“Mum and Fred are here, too. It’s actually lunchtime, that’s why no one’s here.”
“George, is everyone okay?”
He didn’t answer immediately. He waited and watched as you swallowed the potion Madam Pomfrey gave you. It tasted like smoky lemon. When she left, George cleaned his throat.
“Everyone is fine,” he started carefully. “Bill… Well, he was attacked by Greyback, his face is pretty messed up, but —”
“Is he all right?” you asked, panting.
“Yes, yes, he is. Y/N… Dumbledore’s dead.”
Your mouth opened a little, but you frowned. You didn’t understand.
“W — What?”
“He… He’s dead. Snape —”
“No,” you cut him off, shaking your head. “No, he’s not.”
“Y/N…”
He looked at you with pleading eyes, but in that moment the door burst open and Fred and Mrs Weasley hurried in with Ginny. Mrs Weasley’s face was shining from tears but she smiled as she leaned down to hug you.
“Oh, dear, we were so worried, I couldn’t even imagine what would’ve happened if — but you’re all right, that’s what matters! Thank Merlin!”
“Mum, careful, you’re crushing her,” said Fred, stepping closer to you. Even tough he was smiling, you could see how tired his eyes were. “Hey, you.”
“Hey,” you said with a weak smile.
“Are you okay, Y/N?” said Ginny, her eyes full with worry.
“Yes. It still hurts a bit, though.”
“She says you need to stay in bed for days,” Ginny indicated at Madam Pomfrey’s door.” But I’m sure —”
“Is it true?” you said suddenly, looking from Ginny to Fred. “Is it true Dumbledore’s…?”
You couldn’t finish. All faces dropped suddenly and Mrs Weasley gently stroked your hair.
“Yes, dear. It — It is true.”
You took a shaky breath while locking eyes with her. You shook your head again.
“That can’t be true.”
“It is,” Fred was who answered. “Snape killed him. Ran away with the Death Eaters, the loathsome, evil prat.”
You didn’t talk much after that. You had to stay in the hospital wing for three more days, drinking the green potion every two hours. Fred and George kept you company, their moods definitely lifted a bit as you were getting stronger. It was nice to have them around after not seeing them for so long… Still, you couldn’t shake the melancholic and despondent feeling of what the news of Dumbledore’s death had brought. George thought you were quiet due to being tired; you didn’t have the heart to tell him all the things that were floating around in your mind.
You were scared, yes, but it seemed such a demeaning word to describe what you were feeling. Scared wasn’t even close.
You were worried, sure. Worried for everyone you cared about, worried for their safety and their life. But that still wasn’t it.
No… You were horrified. You were horrified because you knew that life is going to be very different from now on. As you were watching Hagrid carrying Dumbledore’s body in his arms on the funeral, you just knew. You knew that your last true savior was gone. He was the only one You -Know-Who was afraid of, and now he was dead. And you didn’t know… you didn’t dare to think about what would happen to you an hour later when you were going to be sitting on the Hogwarts Express… when you were going to leave Hogwarts for good, leaving the only place that stood firmly agains evil, that protected you all this time while people were murdered and slaughtered in the world…
Yes, you were horrified. Horrified of what the future brings. You looked to your left at George and Fred. George was pale, Fred pressed his lips together as they were watching Dumbledore’s tomb. And you knew, that nothing will ever be the same. You knew you were in graver danger than ever before. You knew that the life you’d known had changed completely. And you knew, that the people you loved the most could disappear from this world in any second.
And what terrified you the most was that you knew: you couldn’t do anything about it.
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houseof-harry · 4 years
Text
What Happens in Jersey Pt. 7 | G.D.
A/N - hi y’all! I hope everyone is safe and okay! I decided to post this part for the people who need a distraction from our world right now. So lmk what you think and enjoy!!! Read the last part here
Word Count - 5.8k
Warnings - none
Recap:
“How are you?”
You shrug, letting the warmth of the covers encompass your legs. “Won’t know until he talks to me.”
“You’re going to talk to him?” His eyebrows raise, genuine shock on his face. It’s clear he disapproves of your decision, but you decide to brush over it.
“Of course, he’s my best friend.”
“Your best friend who tried to mess up a relationship that’s important to you because he was selfish.” The bite is back in his tone from earlier today, and you’re not sure what to do.
“Gray, he can’t control how he feels. I told you, he’s one of the most important people in my life, of course I’m going to try and fix this.”
“You’ve got to me fucking kidding me.” He rolls his eyes and you huff, disappointed your night wasn’t over yet.
Something told you he’d be keeping you up for much less fun reasons than last night.
***
No matter what you said, Grayson refused to hear you out. And you were fucking pissed. Not only was he refusing to listen to you, he was acting like he had some type of claim to you, as if he could make you choose between him and Jessie.
“Grayson, stop. I’m tired and it’s late, please can I just sleep and we can talk about it in the morning?” You practically beg, your emotions draining you of the little energy you had left. You felt like you were on the verge of tears and you couldn’t handle him being as cold to you as Jessie had been.
“No! He’s just trying to get to you, Y/N. I don’t like the idea of him being with you at school when I’m not there.” The frustration was clear in his voice, his biceps bulging from crossing against his chest. His jaw was clenching as he gave you a hard look, his gaze refusing to let you go.
“You sound like a fucking animal or some shit, Gray! He would never hurt me or anything, I’ve been fine on my own this whole time and-“
“But you’re not alone now,” he cuts in, not letting you finish your sentence. You go to speak again but he beats you to it. “It’s us and strawberry now, not just you. He’s pulling some childish ass shit like this is high school but it’s not! There’s a baby involved, and he is acting like he can just fucking walk in and try and take you away.” By the end of his rant, his chest is rising up and down and his hands are in his hair, pulling at the tips to try and relieve some of the stress and anger in his body.
“Take me away from what? And I’m well aware there is a baby involved, I’m the one carrying it. I’m not a piece of meat or an incubator for you two to fight over. You’re being just as immature as him,” you argue, the annoyance in your body showing through your tinted cheeks. Your tension headache was back, resting behind your eyes and causing you to close them and pinch the bridge of your nose. You’d always experienced your emotions so physically, and it was a blessing and a curse all at once. Right now, though, it felt like just a curse.
“That’s not what I’m doing! I want what’s best for you, and to keep you happy and healthy.” You could tell he was getting tired too, the conviction in his voice weaker as his shoulders slumped.
“Seems like that’s all you and Jessie say, is that you want what’s best for me but no one has asked what I want! Not even once. Somehow you both think you know me better than me.” For the first time tonight, his face softens as he takes in your words. You decide you don’t want to hear it, though. So, you shuffle off the bed as he watches you.
“Y/N, wait. Where-“
“I’ll sleep on the fucking couch because it’s obvious that this was some fake ass fantasy or something. I should have known better than to think this would work,” you huff without looking back. You can hear his protests until you shut the door, but you continue to ignore him as you walk farther and farther from the laundry room, farther from Grayson. The living room is cold and dark, which makes you stub your toe on the side table. You hiss, grabbing the chair as you do your best to keep quiet. Of course you’d stub your toe after having possibly one of the worst days ever, you couldn’t catch a break.
You grab a blanket once you’re recovered, going to the couch to lay down. That’s when you realize you left your phone charging on the bed. You’d have to lay there doing nothing until you could fall asleep. If you could at all, with your racing thoughts and heart still beating quick in your chest.
It felt like you had lost two really important people in the span of hours. You knew Grayson would always be there, but not because he wanted to. He had to. But you also should have seen it coming. It’s rare life was kind to you, and this was no different. You almost start to get mad at yourself for getting your hopes up, your cheeks continuing to radiate heat. You’re sure if you looked in a mirror you’d see red splotches across them. It made you even more mad that you could never hide how you were feeling, you wish you could just be able to not let anyone read you so easily.
Before you know it, you feel a tear fall from your eye and down to the couch. You do your best to stay quiet as they continue to pour out of you, your new reality sinking in and the fear you felt the day you found out slowly coming back like a brick in your stomach. You prayed your baby never had to feel the way you do right now. You knew they wouldn’t, you’d be there. But it still sucks to know there are people who could hurt them.
***
You spend the early morning in the bathroom, your morning sickness worse than it had been in weeks. When you had woken up it felt like you hadn’t even slept. You had a pain in your neck from the hard pillows on the couch and your back hurt from how tense you still were. Getting sick wasn’t helping, either, but at least you knew how to deal with that.
You only perked up when you hear a knock on the door, your head rolling up from where it rested on your shoulder as your body slumped against the wall. You only managed to hum, words too much right now.
“Y/N?”
Grayson’s voice rings through the bathroom, echoing against the tile and porcelain surrounding you. You feel anxiety wash over you again, unable to comprehend having another conversation with him right now. So you merely hum again, confirming that it’s you in the bathroom without engaging with him.
“Are you okay?”
You’re unsure of how you should answer because physically you weren’t okay right now but you’d be fine. Mentally, you weren’t so positive abuot.
You sigh, doing your best to sit up all the way without the help of the wall. Grayson doesn’t like the silence that follows his question, his impatience shining through as he tries to jiggle the handle.
You roll your eyes, one hand gripping the edge of the toilet as you slowly get your feet underneath you to try and stand.
“Y/N, please let me in.”
“What if I’m shitting?” You snap, your voice weak and raspy from your lack of sleep and still raw from when you last got sick.
“I heard you throwing up, please let me help.” His words are quick to fall from his mouth, his stress more apparent to you now that you were less foggy in the head.
“Don’t need it.” You do your best to sound confident, but to your dismay your voice is weak and tired, a reflection of how you feel.
Grayson pauses, deciding what the best route was with you. You always seemed so resistant to help, and he didn’t want to push you but this is what he does. When he cares about people, he wants to make sure they’re okay if there’s anything he can do about it. Between your conversation – alright, fight – last night and how sick you were this morning, he was truly worried about you. He wasn’t always good with his words and let his jealousy take over last night.
“Remember literally two days ago when I said I’d be there with you for all of this? And you agreed? Please let me in.”
By this time, you’d managed to stand, your vision spotted for a second before you were able to orient yourself. You make your way to the door, and before you can even open it yourself he’s pushing it wide open, his eyes wide as they finally fall on your figure. He can see the way you seem smaller, weaker than normal and his chest hurts because of it.
He had come to learn quickly you were a strong willed, confident person. It took a lot to take you down, yet he had managed to do it in the two days you’d spent together. Guilt slowly worked its way from his heart to consume his whole body. He reaches out to you, trying to bring you into a hug. You put your hands on his chest to stop him, and he reluctantly respects your boundaries.
“Y/N, what’s wrong?” A baffled laughed passes your chapped lips as you grab the door with one hand, leaning on the door frame so that you can have some type of support as you box him out of the room.
“I’m tired, I feel sick, I’m emotionally drained, and I need a shower. And stop giving me the fucking pity eyes.”
Grayson sighs, his gaze falling from you and finding the ground. He fidgets in front of you, unsure of what to do. He doesn’t pity you but he does want to help.
“I’m done, so if you-“
“Done?” He feels his stomach drop to his ass the moment the words leave your lips. Yeah, he’d been selfish and a bit douchey, but you knew he could be like that sometimes. He didn’t think you’d just end it, not that fast.
“Done puking, I just need some water.”
As soon as he hears your explanation, relief releases his tense muscles a bit.
He nods, resisting the urge to rub your cheek or squeeze your hip before backing up. “Do you want to come downstairs with me?”
Your mouth opens to respond, but no words come out. Honestly, you want nothing more to sit on the couch or in his bed, blankets surrounding you as you do your best to rest. But, you truly weren’t sure if you could get down the stairs. It was hard enough dragging your legs to the bathroom door, and downstairs was a lot farther than that.
Grayson raises his brow, still waiting for a response. He had taken a step away from you to start walking, but stopped when he noticed your lack of an answer to his question.
“I’ll, uh, I’ll just stay in here.” You nod, as if it would make sense to hang out in the bathroom even though you’d already told him you weren’t going to be sick again.
“What’s happening, please tell me,” Grayson begs softly, the concern coming back through his body as he watches you contemplate your words carefully.
“I just,” you shrug, your brain foggy once again as it has to work hard to talk to him, “I’m tired.”
“So then come lay down on the couch, I’ll bring you some water,” he reasons.
You shake your head, unable to look at him. Admitting weakness was hard enough, but after last night it felt impossible to do with him.
“Why not?” He does his best not to get frustrated, or sound it at least.
“Too tired,” you mumble, forcing the words out so you could end the conversation as soon as possible.
“Too tired to go downstairs?” You simply nod, grateful he finally got what you were saying.
Before you could comprehend what was happening, he’s walking back to you and reaching around to turn off the lights. He wraps an arm under yours, his hand finding your waist like it was meant to be there always. Your arm falls from the door to hold his shoulder as you give in, the idea of being on the couch too pleasant to pass up.
He guides you slowly and after every step you continue to lean on him more and more. He was warm and strong, the totally opposite of how you felt right now. It annoyed you he could still make you feel good even when he’d pissed you off, he shouldn’t hold that power over you already.
He gets you situated on the couch, watching you put the blanket over your lap. He looks about ready to speak, but decides against it and getting you a glass of water instead. When he comes back, you graciously accept it with a small smile, the cool condensation on the cup managing to make your head clear a bit.
Grayson stands awkwardly near you, fiddling with his fingers as he debates whether or not to sit with you. After a minute of watching you sip your water, he lets himself get comfortable on the couch, a good foot or two between you two.
You keep your gaze at the blank TV, letting the water soothe your throat. You’re sure your eyes were still puffy from crying last night, but you hope he thinks it’s related to being pregnant or something.
“So are we just not gonna talk about it?” His gruff voice comes from deep within his chest, like he didn’t want the words to come out.
“What’s there to say?” You can’t even bring yourself to look at him as you say it, knowing that no matter his reaction, you’d be disappointed.
“Y/N,” he sighs and you hear him shifting to turn to you. “I’m sorry.”
You nod, biting your lip and continuing to act like the rest of the room is so much more interesting than looking at him. Even if he means it, you’re not sure what to say. All you expected was to be treated with respect, and you feel like he didn’t do that. How would he treat your kid? You just didn’t know him well enough to trust he won’t, and it made you feel sick to your stomach.
Once Grayson realizes you’re not going to respond verbally, he reaches out to grab your forearm lightly. You pull away, taking another drink of water.
“Y/N, come on.”
You roll your eyes, your anger quickly building again.
“What, Grayson? You apologize once for making me feel like shit for caring about my friend because you’re jealous so now I have to forgive you and act like everything is good? We’ve barely known each other for a few months, not even two. How am I supposed to know this won’t be my life forever with you? And our baby? You don’t own me or get to control me just because I’m pregnant with your kid. So I don’t have anything to say right now, not until I know that’s not you.” You shake your head, disappointed you even have to be saying this to him at all.
As the silence drags on after your words slowly ring in both of your ears, you finally look at him. He looks smaller, less like the tan, buff, LA douche you were used to seeing. He was exhausted, his arms wrapped around his torso as if to hug himself as he let each of your words sink into him.
He didn’t know what to say to make you feel otherwise because he gets it. From your point of view, he looks like an asshole who only cares about keeping you to himself. And a teeny tiny part of him knew that was a little bit true. He didn’t like the idea of your being with anyone else. But he also knew you were right about the fact that you barely knew each other and that you truly didn’t know that that he was different. He was shit at understanding his emotions sometimes and even worse at expressing them.
“You’re right,” he sighs, deciding that admitting he was wrong would be a good start at least.
Your mouth opens to bite back, but you immediately close it when you hear his admission rather than a defense. “I sounded like a dick last night. I let my emotions get the best of me, which is something that happens a lot. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I wanted to control you, I don’t want to.”
You can slowly feel the tension in your chest unravel, your muscles relaxing a bit. You slump more into the couch, resting your head on the top to look at him sideways. You weren’t ready to go back to how you were, but it was nice to know he could at least admit when he was wrong. And he was definitely communicating more than the other guy who’d thrown a wrench in your friendship.
It had been total radio silence from Jessie since last night. You assumed it would stay like that for a bit, until he was ready to talk so you were going to give him space. You just hoped that would be before graduation.
“Well, good,” you huff, still doing your best to sound pissed even though you’re just tired now.
“Wanna have a nap?” He asks.
You purse your lips, unsure of what to say. Honestly, you’d love to sleep for another ten hours, but you weren’t sure you wanted to sleep with him again.
“The sheets are new, I can make you some food while you sleep,” he offers.
“I’ll sleep, but you don’t have to cook anything for me. Not into the idea of food right now.” He doubted that you meant it, knowing how much you hated his help, but by the look on your face you meant your words. You’d unintentionally let a look of disgust take over your features at the thought of eating anything.
He nods, standing and holding a hand out to you to help you stand. You take it reluctantly, standing and grabbing your water. He takes the almost empty cup from you after letting go of your hand. You can feel the empty presence all too fast again when he walks away, hating how you missed the feeling of him being near you.
Before you let it consume you, you walk to the laundry room and get comfy in his covers. If he was gonna let you be in here, you were gonna make the most of it. He walks back in with your water and places it on the bed side table.
“Thank you,” you mumble, looking up at him.
He smiles at you, his cheeks turning pink at the thoughts that immediately run through his mind. You looked absolutely adorable, his comforter up to your chin seeing as you had cocooned yourself in his blankets. You were cute and in his bed and it overwhelmed him.
“Don’t worry about it. Now please rest.”
And that’s what you did. You spent most of the day and night relaxing, hanging out with Ethan a bit in the afternoon but otherwise that was it. Some of the awkwardness had lifted from around you and Grayson, but there was still a lot of apprehension between the both of you. If you didn’t know where you stood before, you definitely had no clue now.
So when you had to leave for school the next morning it was bitter sweet. You were going to miss both the twins, but you were excited to get back to your apartment with people you loved and just an environment your felt comfortable in. It was much easier to act like everything was normal there.
***
You’d practice doing this since you were young. It was a response to anything that could hurt you. You run, avoid, ignore anything that can hurt you. You shut it out to protect yourself, the pain you’ve experienced already enough for at least ten people. It became a habit at that point. So when people had the potential to hurt you, you shut down completely. You’d avoid them, create distance, put up a wall to try and maintain some type of happiness.
And Grayson was no different.
Your last few months were busy at school, sure, but you couldn’t lie and say that was why you barely spoke to him. You shut him out, kept yourself protected from anything else he could do to hurt you.
It was hard at first. He’s irresistible, and not just in a physical way (although that didn’t help with all your hormones). He was charming and funny and just an enjoyable person to be around. But everything he’d said to you when you had been with him in the city and that night rang through your mind whenever you questioned what you were doing. You were merely doing what was best for yourself. Right?
So daily facetimes went to phone calls a few times a week, texts became about baby tips he found online, Pinterest recipes to help relieve your seemingly constant heartburn, and once in a while updates about his life. A small part of you was happy the hard thing had already happened. He could go back to his LA life and start acting how he would once your baby was born.
Right now you were more focused on your friendship with Jessie. It had taken him two weeks to talk to you, and it had felt like the longest two weeks of your life. But finally he came over and explained everything he had been feeling. He apologized for what happened in Jersey, and things almost went back to normal. You didn’t see him as much and things were still a bit awkward, but you were friends. And that’s all you could want right now.
When graduation rolled around, you were pretty happy again. You’d even been able to find a loose dress to hide your stomach that looked a little bit bigger than when you’d joke around with your friends about being pregnant after a big meal, pushing your stomach out and laughing together. Except you were really pregnant this time, and you weren’t forcing your tummy out at all. If anything, you did everything you could to hide it. That meant dresses everyday no matter what.
You’d had to tell your roommates, because you weren’t about to stop wearing comfy clothes when you were home. They were all beyond excited and made you happy to have a banana sized baby growing in you.
It only became strikingly obvious when you were celebrating graduation a week later at Jessie’s house with his family and friends, a gathering in the backyard as the warm May sun shone down on you all. You were grateful for the fact that another flowy dress would be appropriate for the party, but not having even one drink to celebrate something you’d worked so hard to accomplish? People were catching on, and fast.
Jessie’s mom was the first one to ask you something. You decided it was about time to start telling people, your 20-week mark only a couple of days away.
Before she could do more than congratulate you, an all too familiar voice called your name from behind you. You turned to see Grayson, trailed by Ethan and their mom.
You were completely frozen, unsure of what to do or say. Sure, you’d been talking on the phone a couple times a week, but you always kept it short and about the baby. You don’t even remember what you had told Grayson about your mended friendship with Jessie and if he knew you’d be here or not.
In what seems like a flash you’re now alone with him, Jessie’s mom busying herself with Ethan and Lisa.
“Hi.”
Somehow his greeting is more awkward than the first time you met him. Or the first time you saw him when you’d been pregnant with the baby. This was definitely the worst one so far, and you hated it. It didn’t sit well with you.
“Hey,” you murmur, your heart rate picking up as you fiddle with your hands in front of you.
“You look…” His eyes fall to your stomach that is more pronounced due to the way your arms almost frame it, the color of your yellow sundress almost making you glow in his eyes.
“Fat? Bloated? Like I could float away like a balloon?” You suggest.
His eyes widen, his hands coming up to physically show his disagreement. “No, not at all. Pregnant, yeah. But also really good.”
You nod, a tight smile on your lips as you watch the rest of the party continue. A part of you wished you could be like the rest of them, their lives going as planned while you stood here with your baby daddy who you were friendly with? Friends even? But you wanted more? But you also didn’t.
Well, you did but you were scared. But it’s easier to say you don’t. That’s what you’d told your roommates, that you weren’t interested in him. Payton saw right through it, of course, but didn’t question you.
“Can we talk somewhere else?” You knew you should have seen in coming, but it still made you want to shit bricks when he asked you that.
“Yeah, sure. No bathrooms, though.”
Your joke makes him chuckle, your spirits lifting a bit at that. It gave you the tiniest bit of hope that this wasn’t how it always had to be with him, that one day you guys could do more than just be awkward.
He brings his hand to your lower back to guide you into the house. He brings you to a guest room, the one you were staying in. You wondered if he knew you’d be in this room, but you’re sure he just knew this was a place you could be alone.
“When’s our next appointment?” He asks, and you cringe.
You’re unsure of how you feel about how he asked that. You’re grateful he was involved, and that he cared. It’s more than you expected originally. However, he gets to ride through this relatively unscathed. You’re the one getting poked and prodded, growing a baby in the first place. Especially with the distance over the past few months, it felt like he was less involved than you’d originally anticipated. You have been prepping for it to be you and your baby alone, and he’d pop in whenever he was free. But for him to come in and just assume it was a “we” and “our” situation when he decided to show up wasn’t sitting well with you.
“Wednesday, the 13th.”
He nods, sitting on the edge of the bed and resting his elbows on his knees to support his jaw with his hands. “Is it the appointment we find out the baby’s gender? I googled it was supposed to be the 20 week appointment, but what’d the doctor say last time?”
He’d missed the last appointment over Easter, and you had gone alone. Again, not surprising and it didn’t feel good. But, he had life in LA to attend to.
“We can if we want to, yeah.”
“Do you want to?”
You stop fiddling with your fingers, your gaze falling to him. “Not really, no.”
He lifts his head to look at you, his brows raised in surprise. “Really?”
You nod. “Gender reveals and stuff are stupid. I’m not dressing our baby based on their gender or decorating their room by it or anything. I just want a healthy, happy baby. Boy or girl,” you shrug, bending your arms to wrap them around your stomach somewhat protectively.
He takes in a deep breath, considering your words.
“I feel a bit dumb now.”
A short giggle leaves your lips breathlessly as you quirk your brow. “Why?”
He groans, falling back onto the bed and covering his face with his hands, dragging them over his skin as he puts off his answer as long as possible.
“I might, uh, might have already started a Pinterest board for gender reveal ideas.”
Before you can control it, your laughter bubbles up out of your chest. The idea of the broad man laid out in front of you sitting hunched over his computer and adding probably some of the weirdest gender reveals he could find to his long list of gathered ideas. You wondered if he had a funny name for it, or if he just called in gender reveal.
“I can’t lie, I’m just not into it. We could just have a normal baby shower, still. I’m sure there’s plenty of Pinterest content for that.” Another groan falls from Grayson before he sits up again, facing you. His cheeks are pink and his shoulder are slumped as he looks at you, his eyes falling to your stomach.
“You’re right, and we can still play so many of the stupid games like pin the umbilical cord on the baby.”
You immediately start laughing again, gripping the dresser for support as you cover your mouth with your free hand. “Grayson what the fuck is in your search history?”
“Shut up, I’m excited,” he pouts, but it’s clear he’s trying to hide a smile.
You two settle down and the air quickly becomes tense again. You stood there awkwardly as he picked at his shorts.
“So…”
You look up at the sound of his voice, waiting for him to continue.
“What are you doing now that you’ve graduated?”
Ah yes, the question you’ve somehow managed to dodge with vague answers this whole time. Really, you had no clue. Jessie had said you could live with him until you got yourself on your feet, and you had been applying to jobs this whole time. However, for every phone interview you got and asked about maternity leave, you somehow never got a call back again. You decided you didn’t want to work somewhere that didn’t value the health and family members of their employees, but that narrowed your findings down to basically nothing.
You had money saved from working through high school and college, but not enough to support yourself and a baby until you could go to work and afford a nanny. It was looking a bit grim, to say the least.
You shrug, turning to face the mirror to watch yourself speak rather than to look at him. “Not sure, been applying for jobs but nothing’s panned out.”
“Are you trying to work in the city?”
“Yeah, most opportunities there.”
“Starting after the baby is born, right?”
You turn back, raising a brow. You know you had talked about that when you first found out you were pregnant, but that just wasn’t realistic now. As in, now you were in reality and not a fictional fairy tale where a prince charming named Grayson Dolan swoops you off your feet and brings you to his lavish castle to dote on your every need.
“What?” He can see the thoughts racing through your mind and he’s desperate to know what you were thinking. You always did this, had about a million thoughts and said maybe one of them.
“Can’t just wait until then, I’m not a freeloader. I need money to live, to raise the baby once they’re born. Save for a nanny so I can work in the first place.”
He shakes his head at that, his face hardening. “No nanny, we can raise our baby on our own.”
You scoff, crossing your arms. “How?”
“I told you, you don’t have to worry about any of that stuff. I got it covered.”
“Oh yeah? So, you just get us an apartment for me and the baby to live in while you live it up in LA and I’m here alone with our kid? Do you really think that of me?”
“Y/N, no,” he defends, standing up. “I’m – I’m working on it, okay? Stop insisting you’re alone, and that you’re going to be alone. You’re not, I’m here.”
You roll your eyes, running your tongue over your teeth to try and decide how you want to go about this. How can he still make it sound like everything will be fine?
“I won’t be alone when it’s convenient for you, but what happens the rest of the year?” You challenge.
The vein in his neck bulges and he looks like he’s doing everything he can to contain his anger. “Why are you so set on me being the bad guy, Y/N? You’re the one who pushed me away and stopped sharing your life with me, you’re then one who sounds like she doesn’t want me here. I’ll literally move back to Jersey full time if that’s what’s best for us!”
“Because you can’t! That’s not your life, you have to be in LA, you and Ethan both do. And I can’t invest myself in you knowing that your life will never be here, with us. I have to protect myself, and our baby.”
Your words clearly affect him, the hurt shooting across his face. His eyes refuse to leave you, his hands reaching out to you.
“Y/N, no. You don’t have to protect yourself from me.”
You step back, your back hitting the dresser as you try to keep some type of distance between you guys.
“Of course I do. We spent, like, two days together and you expected me to drop my best friend for you. If us raising a baby together would have worked, we would have found a groove by now. We would have to respect each other, and our separate lives, to join together to raise this baby. But you can’t even recognize how your life will impact our baby and how I can’t just shape my life to make you comfortable.”
He sucks a breath in, his thoughts racing through his head a mile a minute. He had no clue how much you’d misinterpreted what happened with Jessie and how much you were unaware of how flexible he could be with his job and how much him and Ethan were looking to come back to the east coast anyways. And most importantly, he had no idea you were unaware of how much he cared about you, your happiness, health, and well-being.
But before he can say any of that, you’re walking towards the door.
‘Y/N-“
“No. It’s Jessie’s fucking graduation party, we’re not going to ruin it.”
And with that you were out the door, not even looking back at him.
Read the next part here!
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awesomerextyphoon · 4 years
Text
Charred Briar Roses - 3
Curse’s Broken, Now What?
Summary: The title speaks for itself. 
Parings: Orc!Bucky x Black!Reader, Orc!Steve x Black!OFC, Orc!Sam x Black!OFC
Word Count: 4,136
Warnings: Implied Smut and Some Violence
A/N: This was longer than I anticipated. Also, the princesses would be a US size 14/15. I totally forgot to mention that earlier. Sorry about that. Enjoy!
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Instead of spending 600 years in total darkness, you communicated with your sisters in a pretty well constructed dream version of the palace. You thought of new inventions and fighting moves, reconciled with Ghada about your fight the day of the curse, and kept analyzing what happened in the north west tower.
If felt like you were in the dream world for about a month.
You were talking with your sisters about trivial childhood memories when all of you felt arms around your bodies. Your surroundings started to fade and so did your sisters.
You felt chapped yet soft lips kiss your neck and lips. It was surprisingly nice, like a dream.
You opened your eyes and realized three things: Someone was actually kissing you, you weren’t in the tower, and the person kissing you wasn’t the prince that your mother had all but assured you but an admittedly hot (albeit ruggedly, your core notes) orc-human hybrid.
You and your sisters screamed.
You immediately try to push him away but he wouldn’t budge. That scared you because both you and your sisters could bench about five tons thanks to Doireann, the war fairy who blessed and trained you in combat since the age of three.
You punched him with a right jab once he broke for air. Couldn’t even get him off the bed.
He chuckled and rubbed his strong jaw and said what seemed to be a compliment in Orcish as you nursed your knuckles.
“I said that you’re quite feisty for a human princess.” He repeated in Common Tongue.
You saw that your sisters had similar reactions to their kissers. Fumnanya even threw a shoe at the one that would be later called Sam. The others got a laugh out of it.
After everyone settled down, we shared our names while you were trying not jump Bucky, the warrior who kissed you.
“So, I was wondering, do you know what year it is?” Fumnanya inquired in a mousy tone that she uses with strangers.
Steve was it, yeah Steve rubbed the back of his head, “How to put this. You’ve been asleep for 600 years. Just about everyone thinks you’re a myth. Hell, we wouldn’t have believed it if we weren’t right in front of you.”
He then provided updates on what happed after your birthdays, but you were only half listening. Your dumb fight with Ghada and your damn curiosity cost you and your sisters your friends, family, and life.
You wanted to cry, but Ghada motioned you to join her and Fumnanya in a huddle. You spoke in Nephrashim as to not alert the warriors.
The three of you knew that Sophronius was up to no good and it was odd that he was still alive since the average lifespan was 300 years due to the Nephrashim Crystal.
“We need to convince them to take us outside of the city since I’m guessing the spell Etna put on us to keep Y/N from skipping class is still in place.”
You rolled your eyes at Ghada snide comment.
“We take what need in whatever storage device Y/N has in her ‘secret workshop’!” Fumnanya chimed in.
“Hey-“
“We all knew where it is, sis. You’re not fooling anyone.” Ghada deadpanned while you huffed in frustration.
With that, the three of you rejoined the group and offered to show them around after you changed your clothes.
–––––––––––––––––––––
The warrior trio was waiting outside the room for 20 minutes when you and sisters finally emerged from behind the doors. The three of you wore much more comfortable clothing than the extravagant kaftans you wore in your sleep. The clothes also showcased more of your curves and sleek muscles they noted.
“What would you like to do first?” You asked. No sooner had you finished the question that the warrior trio’s stomachs growled like a lion’s roar.
Ghada giggled and together, you led the trio to the main banquet hall.
You and your sisters had a hunch that the food from your 18th birthday celebration was still good. Your hunch was right.
–––––––––––––––––––––––––
The hall was filled with food for 900 people. The tables were packed with: huge slabs of Gararagator Steak, roast beef and pork, fried chicken, smoked turkey, grilled and baked fish in sweet brown sauces, curries, pastas, thick stews, enticing side dishes, rich pastries/desserts, and caskets of mead and wine.
The warriors were drooling at the sight and aromas of the feast. So, when Ghada casually said to dig in, they devoured ALL of the food in record time.
You and your sisters managed to get some of the food before it was gone. None of you would admit it, but the three of you were turned on by the ferocity at which they ate and drank.
Once they finished the food and drink, the warrior trio leaned back in their chairs and sighed while they rubbed and patted their bellies followed by a couple of loud, brassy burps and belches.
Fumnanya asked them some trivial questions about life since the curse was activated which they answered in kind, but they got tense when she asked about their mothers.
Ghada, ever the politician, quickly changed the subject by asking if they would like a bath and one of the guest rooms to sleep in for the night.
Bucky was about to respond when you suddenly challenged him to a duel.
A couple of things happened: Fumnanya put her head in her hands, Ghada groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose, Sam and Steve burst into laughter, and Bucky accepted with a chuckle.
You led the group to the sparring grounds on the western end of the palace grounds.
Ghada set the ground rules: each combatant may choose a weapon from the low-level, non-lethal weapons closet and the fight could last no longer than 30 minutes.
You both chose Bo Staffs and bowed to start the spar. It took a few minutes of sizing each other up before making the first move. The duel consisted a flurry of punches, kicks, precision strikes with your Bo Staffs, and near hits/misses.
It ended when Bucky spotted a weakness in your left mid-section and landed a hit right above left hip causing you to fall. He then pinned you down before you could grab your weapon with his face two inches above yours.
The two of you were so engrossed in your own little world that Steve had to clear his throat a few times to get your attention.
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Sensing the, ahem, tension in the area, Ghada suggested that you all finally head over to the baths.
Except for you and Bucky, you took him to your ‘secret workshop’. Something about the way he examined some of the weapons fascinated you and you wanted to explore that.
Bucky was quite dazzled by your variety of inventions like your solar battery, your new hover bike engine, and your 5th attempt at your waning swan (a cross between a scythe and a machine gun). He was examining a pair of your laser blasting gauntlets when you asked if he’d seen some of them before.
“Is there something you like?” you asked while he picked up an old prototype for a flash grenade.
Bucky chuckled, “It’s just that I’ve never seen so many inventions in one place before. When I was an orcling, there was these traveling ‘magician’ who performed feats of wonder for the kids in the village near our settlement. In reality, he was a con artist, but we didn’t care. He would always make our lives seem a little bit brighter. One day, the three of us went behind his tent and found all these contraptions in boxes or on the ground. Tuns out, they were relics of the long gone Nephrashim people. Well, maybe not so long gone now.”
He chuckled to himself again almost bitterly. “I was always entranced by what he would show us and, when he finally fessed up to using relics instead of magic, the contraptions he would use to perform such acts. Sometimes I would wonder what it would’ve been like to live a different life; one where I could’ve been a tinkerer instead of a warrior. Don’t get me wrong, I like being one. It’s just that-”
“You wished you had more options.” You finished noticing how delicately he was holding one of your mithril tools. He held it in a deftness that most of the artisans you’ve met couldn’t match.
His confession of sorts gave you pause.
You always hated how almost everyone gave your sisters praise for their interests and demeanor while you were usually belittled when your parents and Fae tutors weren’t around. They always complained about you not being as sociable as Ghada or as ‘sweet’ (quiet, but not really) as Fumnanya. You were always seen as causing trouble, but you just saw the world differently.
Some days you actually hated being a princess and wished you had a different lot in life.
Maybe this warrior understood you.
Taking another look at him, you realize that underneath this ruggedly delicious beef cake was someone who might’ve been something else altogether. Sure, he seemed proud of his accomplishments when you both were in the dining hall, but part of you wondered what could’ve been his path if he had someone who would’ve taken the time and maybe given him an apprenticeship or something.
You bit your lower lip as you mustered up the strength to ask, “I was wondering, I think I have something I was working on before the curse was cast. Would you like to help with it? I mean, you don’t have to-”
“Yeah, that’d be nice.”
The two of you spent the next two hours working on a few prototypes. Bucky asked you questions about engineering and mechanics especially and you were more than happy to answer. It was nice to have someone outside your sisters, parents, and Fae tutors actually give a crap about what you liked. Neither you nor Bucky realized the distance shrinking in between the two of you until all you could think about was how inviting his lips and neck looked.
Unfortunately, your slowly intimate moment was dashed when Ghada interrupted them via communication mirror telling them to take a bath and go to bed already.
With an annoyed tsk, you took off your work apron, your goggles, and your gloves and motioned Bucky to do the same.
You led him to the baths, a wide yet indoor place with vast pools, man-made hot springs, and an indoor waterfall.
Looking at Bucky your feelings of embarrassment and shame arose once again. Did your ancestors really had to be this obnoxious in flaunting their wealth?
You offered to assist Bucky in washing his hair, but really you wanted to run your hands over his exposed skin.
With his nod of acceptance, you took him to changing rooms and you changed into a Soft Wrap Halter Bikini Top and Rene Fold Bikini Bottom in pale gold, the one that caused a prominent lord to walk into a compost cart due to how well it showcased your curves. Hopefully, it would work on Bucky.
You felt bad using your looks to get Bucky to make a move, but you were so sure that it would be a disaster if you moved first.
The slight shame you felt with your bathing suit quickly faded when you saw Bucky emerge from his changing room.
You cursed yourself because he was only in a loincloth, and DAMN he looked fine! Part of his long hair was pulled back in a high man bun, his shin was a beautiful smooth muted yellow-green with aqua undertones, he was powerfully built with massive shoulders (you thought the lightweight armor did most of the heavy lifting), chiseled pecs, abs, and thighs that you could’ve sworn the finest of Fae craftsmen had a hand in creating all wrapped in someone that actually engaged you both intellectually and emotionally.
You know your mother said that you and your sisters would most likely married princes, but you were glad that she wasn’t here to see you shamelessly lust over an orc. You still missed her, but both she and half of your tutors would have a conniption if they saw what you were doing right now.
It would seem that Bucky was sizing you up as well judging by the way his eyes were beginning to blow out with lust.
He must have pushed his naughty thoughts aside. “Are you still gonna wash my hair?” he queried with a smirk that showed off his tusks. They would’ve been intimidating, but now they look endearing and sexy.
You let out an uncharacteristic giggle and told him to wait right there while you went to the closet where the servants kept the washing items and got him silver spruce, lemongrass, rosemary, and orange scented shampoos and oils.
You returned to find Bucky trying and failing to put a towel tower that one of maids used to construct. Stifling a laugh, you took his hand and guided him to one of the hot springs.
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––
Bucky groaned upon sinking into the refreshing warm spring, glad to not have to was in a stream or river for a change (the tubs back home were nice, but they’re nothing compared to this). The water eased his tense muscles and joints in all the right places. Plus it didn’t hurt that the spring was deep enough for him to completely submerge himself which, at 8’ 3”, is no easy feat.
The engineering princess was getting ready to wash his hair like she offered and Bucky couldn’t wait. She had to know what she was doing to him. Lesser men would’ve jumped her on sight, but not him. His stepmother and sisters made sure of that.
She poured some of the argan and peppermint shampoos into a bowl and grabbed a towel to rest her shins.
“Lay your head on top of this bowl while I wash your head. Okay?”
Bucky did as directed and she started to work her magic on him. She started slow,  working front to back, appreciating the way she gently massaged his scalp. At times he would let out low groans of pleasure at her ministrations, craving more from her.
Once she was done with the shampoo, she carefully lifted his head, emptied and refilled the water basin, and steadily poured the warm water over his head while trying not to get water up his nose.
Bucky turned around to see her beaming at her work. He smiled coyly at her pride, “Aren’t you coming?”, while motioning his right hand in a ‘come hither’ gesture.
She shook her head while biting her lower lip, probably not wanting to hair wet or some other prissy princess thing that was engrained into her.
Bucky decided to help ‘break’ her of that mindset by quickly grabbing her arm and gently tossed her into the spring in front of him. She jumped out of the water with a gasp and playfully punched his left shoulder.
“What was that for?!”
“You were too prideful and uptight!” Bucky chortled while she looked away failing to hide her embarrassment. He stopped laughing when he saw the beginnings of tears in her eyes.
He then reached out and softly lifted her head with his fore and middle fingers. She looked a bit anxious when he closed the distance between them.
“May I?” he pleaded, desperate for her to say yes.
“Please,” she whispered.
That was all Bucky needed to hear.
He started slow as to make up for this afternoon, but he almost lost it when she grasped his hair and licked his canines/tusks. He growled as her petite tongue entered his near monstrous mouth, her light moans and whimpers goading something that Bucky thought he would never feel: love, lust, and passion.
Ever since he and his best friends achieved their goal, Bucky felt like he was missing something. None of the women in their community really excited him or really engaged him beyond his physical needs. Sure, there were plenty orc, human, and even elf females who would warm his bed, but none of them cared to stay and listen…except for you, the woman who was now struggling to take off her bikini top after talking machines and engineering with him without getting annoyed by his antics.
You were so eager — and so was he — but he didn’t want to have sex and then have you disappear on him like the others, not when he was finally making a connection. No, he would make this last a little longer, even if this meant disappointing you.
“We should go sleep.” He mumbled as his hand halted your efforts.
——————
With a heavy sigh, you relented, got dressed, and waited for him to get his things. Your eyes were downcast as you escorted him to the chambers he would be sharing with his kin.
Bucky tried to give you a goodnight kiss, but you rebuffed him with a curt “good night” and returned to you and your sister’s shared room.
You were greeted to Fumnanya gushing about Sam and his interest in the library. Part of you was happy for her. Fumnanya rarely got out of her shell and getting with a guy that was even remotely interested in books as much as she was exceedingly rare.
You wanted to say that you were excited for her, you really did, but you were still a little sullen and bitter about what happed with Bucky at the baths.
“So, you and Bucky sure took your time.” Ghada remarked as you were putting on your night clothes (a short tunic and mid-calf pants).
“You’re one to talk! Sam and I caught you and Steve making out in the changing rooms at the baths!” Fumnanya snapped. Great, even Ghada was getting more in the romance department than you were.
You gave Fumnanya a grateful smile while you settled into bed hoping that tomorrow would bring better fortunes.
——————-
You awoke with a slight start and a knock at the door. Grabbing your robe, you raced towards the door thinking it was Bucky only to find a letter floating in a glowing rosy pink sphere. As soon as you reached out to touch the sphere, it disappeared leaving the letter to slowly descend into your hands.
By this time, your sisters joined you in reading the letter. It was written by one of your favorite tutors, Aoife.
It read:
Dearest children,
If you are reading this, then this means that I am either dead or completely unable to reach you. I hope you weren’t asleep for too long, but something tells me you have. For that, I am sorry.
I wish I could be there to hug you and your matches, but I’m guessing you know of your uncle by now. He has been after you for years now. My wards were successful in keeping him at bay, but now, I’m afraid you’re on your own.
The mist surrounding the capital will fade in three days time. By then, you will need to go into hiding in order to not fall into Sophronius’ clutches.
Have faith, be brave, trust in yourselves, and be kind my dears. Also, trust in your matches, okay?
Warm Regards,
Aoife
Aoife was one of the few people who actually liked all three of you the way you were. Finding out that she could be dead was the straw that broke the camel’s back for the three of you.
When the orc hybrid trio found you, you were huddled on Ghada’s bed with the letter on the floor in front of you.
Steve gently coaxed the three of you out of your beds with the suggestion of showing them around the capital. It didn’t get you or your sisters completely happy, but it was a start.
The tour consisted of you and Ghada butting heads over where to take the guys (the theatre district is NOT better than the artisan market), Fumnanya pointing out prominent buildings and statues.
You could’ve sworn that the guys sneered at one of the monuments to one of your ancestors, but you let it slide.
But then, Bucky made an offhand comment about what was must have went into making this place and the sacrifices that was probably made.
You have thought about what must’ve went into making the capital, but never in a negative light. No one in the capital or in the surrounding cities, towns or villages were poor on dire straits. You made sure to get the truth through your little excursions out of the palace before Etna cast that infernal spell on you.
The thought was pushed aside when you and your sisters returned to your room that night. You needed to think of a plan and quickly because Aoife’s spell was going to fade in two days and Sophronius was hot on your tails.
“Perhaps the guys would let us stay with their community for a while.” Ghada put forth as you were getting ready for bed.
“That’s a possibility, but what do we have to offer? I doubt that a semi-nomadic community of mostly orcs would take on three enhanced human princesses for free” Ghada countered as she put on her nightgown.
“Are you serious?!” you exclaimed. “We have tons to offer! Look, Fumnanya is a great medic, you’re awesome diplomat and negotiator, and I’m good with machinery. Plus we can cook and take care of ourselves, so I doubt we would be a huge burden.”
“Also, we can give them some of the treasure that’s laying around the palace for them to use.” Fumnanya chirped.
“Exactly. We’ve got this!” You declared not realizing that the guys were having a similar conversation.
——————
“So, what should we do about the girls? I mean, they’re great and all, but can we bring them back with us?” Sam inquired as stripped down to his loincloth.
“I don’t see why not. They’ve actually got skills the group could use, unlike a lot of the females that first become part of our tribe.” Steve stated as he gnawed on the turkey leg from dinner.
“Maybe we could bring the tribe here! The city is completely deserted except for the girls and they certainly won’t mind us living here.” Sam offered.
“I don’t think that would be the wisest course of action. Like the girls said, the spell that keeps the mist in place will fade in two days. It won’t be long before Sophronius’ horde will crawling all over the place.” Bucky voiced thinking about last night’s interaction.
“Alright, we’ll see what the girls think tomorrow and go from there.” Steve concluded and the three went to sleep.
———————
Both parties began packing for their journey the next day once the guys agreed to take the three of you back with them.
You gave everyone three travel sized storage units. Ghada packed all of her notes on trade, language books, and art supplies. Fumnanya packed all of the medical supplies she could fit into her storage unit, her language, history, science, and geography books. You packed most of your tools, a couple of your inventions (including waning swan), and any materials you might need.
All three of you made sure to pack clothes, cooking supplies (especially spices since the guys were surprised at the variety), personal hygiene supplies, and some of the treasure/objects that would most likely fetch a good price without leading anyone back to them.
The time to leave came soon enough.
“You three ready?” Sam asked as you were making the final adjustments to your traveling clothes.
“As ready as we’ll ever be.” Fumnanya replied as she gave Sam a hug. It surprised you how quickly she warmed up to him.
“Perhaps you should give Bucky another chance.” Ghada advised.
Maybe, but not now.
You made your way to the courtyard taking in everything. The dire wolves nuzzled your cheeks as you made your way to mount them.
Steve gave both Sam and Bucky a nod and you began your journey out of the only home you three knew.
Perhaps this new chapter will be a good one.
—————
If you had looked up at the third tree closest to the thorn bushes, you would’ve seen a solitary raven, a raven with four red eyes. The raven was a scout for Sophronius and it was recording you.
Video of your departure was being transmitted to a crystal ball in the throne room of Sophronius’ main headquarters.
“It seems the bitch Aoife was able to keep them young after all.” Sophronius remarked, taking in the princesses’ features.
“Alert the princes. We have work to do.”
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↬  title: There is a glorious sunrise, dappled with the flickers of light.  ↬  CHAP 1 | CHAP 2 |  ↬  pairings: jung jaehyun x kim doyoung ; jung jaehyun x dong sicheng ; lee taeyong x kim doyoung | side suh johnny x lee ten ↬  summary: After seven years in heaven with Doyoung, an unexpected divorce shakes Jaehyun’s life upside down and it seems impossible for him to move on. But Jaehyun finds out that past the curses and cries, there is happiness and forgiveness. ↬  genre: Divorce | Post-divorce | Mild hurt/comfort | Strangers to FWB to lovers | Getting together | Single parent | Adopted children | Angst with an happy ending | Family feels | Family fluff | Aged-up characters ↬  warnings: In this chapter just divorce and the aftermath of it.  ↬  words count: 10.6k   ↬  ao3 link
Chapter one: There’ll be happiness after me
Jaehyun always called himself a dreamer. A hopeless romantic, some may say.
Jaehyun believed in forever. Since he was young he would lose himself in endless pages about people finding ‘the one’ and staying by their side till the end. He knew that someday it would’ve been his turn to experience something like that, it was written somewhere in the stars that he would’ve had his happy ending, his perfect love story with ‘the one’.
Jaehyun believed he had found the one when his eyes started to get lost in Doyoung’s after they met during their first year of college. He didn’t plan any of what came after when their gaze first met, but he loved the way destiny pulled them closer day by day. The dates planned with Johnny’s help, his best friend, who somehow also managed to know Doyoung very well and bring him with him on every occasion. Their nights spent talking together on Yuta’s dorm rooftop when his parties would get too loud and they needed to breathe again. He loved how they would casually talk about their life plans having no idea they would’ve been part of them in the future.
Jaehyun really believed in a forever between them. He had started to believe in it when they moved together in a small two-room apartment to share the rent the second year of college and sharing the same small places brought them a strange sense of joy. Somehow, coming home to him was enough to help him relief from the stress that the hundred of missing essays and exams gave him. Somehow, washing dishes and doing the laundry was a little bit funnier with Doyoung by his side, moving around the house repeating whatever he had to study about statistics and financial risks. And it was funny to laugh at their friends telling them they wouldn’t have lasted for more than three months together when the months passed became six. And it was also funnier to giggle and blush when, giving up on their break up, their friends started to call them ‘the married couple’ of the group.
Jaehyun started to believe in a forever, even more, when they started to live together even after college, their relationship still going strong. And when they became the first married couple of their group of friends for real, after three years together.
Maybe he had believed in it a little bit too much. So much that when the music stopped and he was left alone dancing with no sound on, he felt like a fool. The spell had broken and he didn’t notice. He was so lost, high up in the sky, blinded by a fake positivity, that he didn’t think how bad it would’ve hurt once he fell down.
He always tried to see the good in every situation. But now, that he was brought back down to earth, he could see it for what it was.
It was the end. They had reached the finish line.
“Maybe we rushed things too much,” Doyoung said standing in front of the other side of the table in the middle of their kitchen. Jaehyun wasn’t looking at him, he was giving him his back, his hands resting on the countertop. He couldn’t put himself to look in his eyes, not when in them there was no love left for him, anymore.
“After seven years, Doyoung?” He asked, bitterness filling his voice as he spat out his full name. No pet names or lovey-dovey, there was no place for them anyway in their story.
“I wanted to give us a try till the end, Jae,” The black-haired man tried to explain. He wanted to get closer to his husband, trying to calm him down, maybe with a hug, that was something that always worked. But now, was that his position to do something like this?
“Was it something that I did or said? Is there a way I can change? Anything to help this get better?” Jaehyun mumbled through sobs, his hands moving swiftly trying to wipe the tears from his face, his back still turned. He hated being vulnerable, usually with anyone but Doyoung, but now he was the cause of all the pain, and he didn’t want him to see him in that condition. But Doyoung knew him too well. And even without looking, he could picture him in his mind. His beautiful warm brown eyes glossy, his soft cheeks flushed red and marked by the salty drops, his lips swollen from the bites of his teeth trying to hold in the sobs. Doyoung hated that sight, and he hated even more that it was because of him.
“No, you didn’t do anything. Is just…” The older stopped, not so sure about the words that were going to come after. He knew Jaehyun was already hurting, he didn’t want to twist the knife in his open wound.
“Is just? Say it, Dodo. Don’t beat around the bush.” Mumbled the brown-haired turning around. Fuck trying not to be weak in front of his eyes. Doyoung had already seen him at his worst, and he didn’t care if now his eyes weren’t his welcoming home anymore. He had to see him, to see his lips move while pronouncing words that would’ve haunted him forever.
“I feel like this is not my place anymore.” This time the one hiding was the oldest. His eyes met the floor as soon as the words slipped out of his mouth, he didn’t want to see Jaehyun’s pretty eyes sadden even more and his face drop into pain. But he didn’t need that, because the choked sob coming from Jaehyun’s lips was more than enough to hurt like a knife in the chest.
“Yoonoh, please,” Doyoung tried to say starting to move closer to the other man, his hand reaching for his husband.
“Don’t call me that and don’t you dare touch me!” He screamed taking some steps back. It wasn’t supposed to come out so cruel and aloof. The normal Jaehyun would’ve slapped himself for this kind of reaction, but now he was dealing with a pain he never imagined to feel. Doyoung was supposed to come home like any other day, hug him from behind, leave a trail of kisses on his neck and then reach for his lips. They were supposed to eat dinner together, do the dishes, and then plunge on the sofa to watch something on the TV together. They were supposed to leave it as a background sound while they made love to each other and then fell asleep there, just to wake up in the middle of the night because one of them fell on the ground. Jaehyun had planned everything but this. Doyoung wasn’t supposed to come home three hours before the usual just tell him that they needed to talk and then ask for a divorce. And no matter how much he knew that he needed to let go, he just couldn’t. Jaehyun couldn’t believe that that was the destiny written for them. Where was his happy ending? Where was his forever? Why Doyoung wasn’t the one?
And letting himself fall against the kitchen cabinet was a childish thing to do, he was a twenty-seven years old man, yet he couldn’t bring his legs to carry him to their bedroom and fall apart there. He couldn’t even force himself to deal with all of it like an adult.
Doyoung’s heart broke into a million pieces, that was the exact reason why he hesitated so much to drop the news. He knew Jaehyun would’ve reacted that way, and he didn’t want to witness that.
“Jaehyun, please.” He tried once again to step closer to him, but somehow the younger would crouch further against the cabinet.
“It’s because there’s somebody else, right? You found someone better than me.” Jaehyun started to mumble, his watery eyes looking up at Doyoung’s and his lower lip shaking.
“No, there’s nobody else, don’t be stupid.” That was one of Jaehyun’s biggest fear, they had talked about it several times, since the first years of their relationship, and normally he would’ve answered with ‘There’s nobody better than you’ but saying it now, would’ve felt like a joke. Doyoung was still convinced than almost none could come close to Jaehyun, or else he wouldn’t have loved him for such a long time, but right now it felt out of place. He was the one leaving.
Jaehyun sighed and got up once again. “Well, whoever it is I hope they’ll be a beautiful fool.” He said moving past him, their shoulders brushing against each other. And normally he would’ve never said something like this, but he couldn’t think past the anger and fury and regret. Maybe if nobody would’ve been able to take his spot next to him he would’ve come back, right? Maybe they were destined to be together, they just need to take a wider route. But he knew that it was a wishful thinking and a delusional dreaming. That was their last stop.
“Why?” He kept repeating under his breath as he paced back and forth in the living room of their house. He knew that Doyoung didn’t own him anything. It was life, people come and people go. You can’t do anything to make them stay if they don’t want to. You can’t force somebody to love you once the thrill expires. But the pill is hard to swallow when you had other plans in mind. When you dared to dream too far and reality collides with it, crushing your fantasies into pieces.
“Jaehyun,” Doyoung called him, trying to gain his attention. And he turned around. “I loved you so damn much, every single day that we spent together was filled with love. I just don’t feel the thrill of before. It’s like our story turned from gold to grey. I just can’t picture me being by your side in the future.” Doyoung knew that his words were like stabs but he also knew that Jaehyun needed to know. Maybe now he would throw a framed picture or a vase at him, but in the future, when he could rationalize everything, he would’ve got why he was doing this.
“But why?” Jaehyun’s words came out strangled and unusually high for his warm baritone voice.
“I don’t know.” And it was true. Doyoung had no idea how to explain what he felt. He could still remember the pain when he started to feel that something was off. When waking up with Jaehyun by his side stopped giving him the same usual strength to get up and face a hard day at work. Or when coming home he just wanted to eat, take a shower and go to bed instead of talking with his husband. He didn’t know when he started to fake smiles when his mother invited them at lunch on Sundays and asked about their future plans together. He had no idea why Jaehyun started to fade and his sparkling shining golden aura turned into a faded bronze.
“So you’re leaving me for no reasons?” Jaehyun asked, sniffling.
“I –” Doyoung stopped, a heavy breath coming out of his mouth.
“What I deserve I guess.” He huffed running his fingers through his hair, pulling them back.
“I know why I’m leaving you. I don’t know why I started to feel like this! Do you think I’m happy that our story has to end like this? Do you think I thought of this when I married you? Do you think it’s going to be easy for me?” Doyoung raised his voice in frustration. He hated fighting with Jaehyun. It wasn’t something that happened so often but when it did it was hell. Jaehyun was so headstrong and didn’t want to listen to anybody, he would simply close in his shell and leave you out, with few or no answers. Then he would usually calm down, and come back to talk, but now they had no time for this.
“But that’s what you want, Do. How hard is going to be for you if the divorce is going to be the one thing to make you happy?” Jaehyun retorted.
Doyoung didn’t answer. Jaehyun was right. That was what he wanted because he knew that staying with him didn’t bring him happiness anymore. But for Jaehyun, he still was a source of happiness, the one he imagined to spent his whole life with. And he couldn’t compare their pain. So silence was the best thing he could give him.
And Jaehyun wanted to keep on whining, screaming questions that simply wouldn’t have found any answers. He felt lost. What was going to be of him? No, he wasn’t addicted to Doyoung, he knew that he could survive by himself, but the fact that he couldn’t see the clearer picture terrorized him. He wanted to ask him to hug him, he wanted to let himself go in his arms, the ones who always calmed him down. He wanted to feel the warmth of his body for the last time, bury his face in the crook of his collarbones and breath in his scent. He wanted to hear his soft voice whisper in his ears that everything was going to be fine. He wanted to pretend that everything was fine. That all of that was just a terribly realistic nightmare. But at what cost? Of being hurt even more when reality would’ve hit him once again?
His eyes flickered to Doyoung’s, trying to still see himself in them, but there was no trace anymore. A sad smile painted his face and then his head faced the floor again. The cold hit him all of a sudden, Doyoung wasn’t his homeland anymore. And there was nothing he could do to change it. There was nothing to defend anymore, now that their land wasn’t theirs anymore.
Another heavy sigh left Jaehyun’s lips, while his hand tried to cancel the marks the tears had left on his face. He felt like his soul had been sucked away from him and he just wanted to sleep, maybe in another place, he would’ve had a happy ending. Yet, he wasn’t doing anything. Jaehyun was standing still, in the middle of their living room, looking outside of the window, with his arms wrapped around himself, the only hug he could count on at the moment.
The green outside was too bright, too hopeful for him. Right now he just wanted to add sadness to his pain and cry all the liquids he had in his body, but it seemed like he already did. He hugged himself tighter, for the first time, Doyoung’s gaze on him made him feel naked like the one of a stranger. After he had shown him everything he had, all of his most vulnerable spots, he felt uncomfortable under his gaze. A river run down his spine, he couldn’t believe he was feeling like this in front of him. And feeling so unfamiliar under his gaze made him wonder, will he ever be able to let somebody else get as deep under his skin as Doyoung got? He shivered at the thought of opening up to somebody else, of other hands touching him, other lips kissing him. He couldn’t imagine that.
He gave a quick look ad Doyoung another time. The man was leaning against the back of the couch, his hands in the pocket of his suit pants and his head bent looking at his feet.
“I’m sleeping in the host bedroom,” He whispered before walking upstairs quickly, without waiting for the other to answer. He didn’t want to sleep in their bed, or what used to be theirs. He knew that knowing he was under the same roof without being his anymore would’ve consumed him enough.
When he arrived in the bedroom he stopped in front of the mirror. He looked like a ghost. His hair messy and wet from the sweat that pearled his forehead, his white shirt crumpled, his eyes red like his lips and cheeks. He felt so pathetic, he was supposed to face things differently, not like a teenager who just got dumped. But how could he take it well after all the years he had given to Doyoung? Jaehyun knew that it would’ve got better. That one day the cold he felt as soon as his body came in contact with the lonely bed would’ve disappeared. He knew that he would’ve walked out of that door with a genuine smile on his face. He knew he would’ve reinvented himself, and started to feel something once again. He knew there would’ve been brighter days, but now he just wanted to fall in the oblivion of his sadness. He had just lost the love of his life out of the blue. He couldn’t face being positive. He couldn’t face reinvention.
Jaehyun tried to be his old positive self one week after that talk. Maturity had hit him, and he realized that being petty wouldn’t have led him anywhere. He didn’t want Doyoung to feel guilty for something he had all the rights to do and to feel. He also didn’t want to stain their relationship with bad blood. He woke up, trying to wear his best smile, and see the good in that situation like he always did. He tried to go past everything that had happened in the last seven days. But it wasn’t easy looking at Doyoung packing his things up and discuss what he would’ve taken away with him and what would’ve stayed there. Not when memories of them moving in together popped in Jaehyun’s mind every time the older pointed at something to ask him if he wanted it or he could’ve taken it away. And Jaehyun used to shrug almost at everything, he could’ve taken everything, maybe it would’ve helped him to forget him and don’t find him in every corner of the house.
“Are you staying at yours?” Jaehyun dared to ask, knowing damn well that if the answer would’ve been different he would’ve hated it.
Doyoung shook his head. “I’m staying at Donghyuck’s place for a while. I haven’t told my family, yet.” He admitted, his eyes timidly searching for Jaehyun’s. And it felt too strange how their eyes would avoid each other, stealing glances like thieves in the night. It felt like going back to when they first met, but now there wasn’t the excitement of getting to know each other, now there was the fear of hurting each other.
Jaehyun nodded, his lower lip trapped in his teeth, typical of him when he was embarrassed and didn’t know what to say. And he thought that he also didn’t say anything to his parents, or his friends. How do you even say something like this? Why nobody ever teaches you how to deal with bad things? Was a text too harsh to communicate that he wasn’t going to spend the rest of his life with Doyoung anymore? Was it too selfish when he didn’t feel to talk about it with anyone and have to sit there and look at the pity in their eyes?
“Did you– did you already contacted a lawyer?” The younger stuttered.
Doyoung sighed and got up from his bent position over one of the boxes he was filling up with his stuff.
“I wanted to be sure we were doing this.” He said, looking straight at Jaehyun. He couldn’t read his expression, the younger had always been pretty good at hiding his emotion anyway, he couldn’t expect anything else now. “Maybe we can take a pause if you don’t wan–”
“No,” Jaehyun stopped him before he could finish. “I’m fine with a divorce if that’s what you want.” There was no use to tergiversate. Being on a break and for what? Hoping that the flame of love would’ve sparkled inside of Doyoung again all of a sudden; just to be let down once again. No matter how much he hated or didn’t plan this, it was their end, and he had to accept it.
That was supposed to be the hardest part, right? Past all the devastation of the surprise. Past the screams, the curses and cries. Beyond the terror of the night falling on him without Doyoung by his side. He was already halfway there, he just had to let go.
“So, I’ll let you know as soon as I know something,” Doyoung voice sounded tight in his throat as he was standing out of the door. His things packed up in his car, parked in their driveway. It hurt to leave. Because, yes, that was what he wanted but he and Jaehyun had shared so much that actually letting him go wasn’t easy. They had been friends before being lovers. They had been best friends before being boyfriends. They had each other’s back every day before being husbands. Jaehyun was his partner in crime. His other half. The support he knew he could always count on. Jaehyun had been such an important part of his life and now, he wasn’t so sure of letting him behind. But he couldn’t stay, not because of a wave of melancholy or out of pity and habit. No matter how much he deeply cared for Jaehyun, his side wasn’t his place anymore and he couldn’t force himself there.
“Yeah, okay.” Jaehyun simply answered, his hand resting on the door to keep it open. “Drive safely,” He said, with a smile on his face. ‘And let me know when you arrive safe and sound’ he wanted to add, but that simply wasn’t his place anymore. Doyoung would’ve never sent him texts like that again, to let him know that he made it at work, or to the pub when he would go out with his friends on Saturdays. No more texts letting him know he had eaten the food he had cooked for him and it was delicious. No more calls at 3 p.m. because Doyoung didn’t want to deal with clients at work, also distracting Jaehyun from his job. And especially no more kisses at the door, the rushed ones because one of them had to go to work while the other worked from home. Or the rushed one in the car when Jaehyun used to drop him off before driving to his office. And his smile turned bitter when he realised that one of those had been their last and he had no idea. If he only knew, maybe he would’ve kissed him longer and held him tighter, screw it arriving late at work.
“See you, then,” Doyoung said scratching his head, bringing him back to earth, an awkward smile on his face.
Jaehyun held back the urge to launch forward and kiss him because Doyoung looked so beautiful. From the way his sweet eyes shined, so kind yet so captivating, to his perfect cheekbones and the way his hair would fall on his forehead perfectly. And also because he was afraid he would forget way too soon how his lips tasted.
“Yeah, see you,” He whispered instead, pushing down the lump in his throat. The realization that probably the next time he would’ve seen him would’ve been in a court hit him harder than expected. No more of seeing his eyes close to his, or feel his breath on his skin. No more getting lost in his kisses. No more tracing path on his tender skin with his fingers.
Now that Doyoung’s back was facing him he realized that he would’ve never seen it again when he would lay on their bed, and Doyoung would spend minutes facing the closet to pick what to wear after the shower. Or in the morning at the countertop while he would sleepily cook breakfast for both of them. Jaehyun would’ve never let his face sink into his shoulder and let the scent of his hair lull him.
Another sad smile crept on his face as he closed the door and let his body rest on it.
Jaehyun would’ve loved him for a lifetime. But he had to leave it all behind. All of the pain. And all of the happiness.
He had to leave it all behind.
“A divorce?” Johnny asked with his eyes wide open, he didn’t want to sound so shocked but that wasn’t what he expected when his best friend called him to go over to his place for their usual Tuesday night together.
“Yeah, there’s nothing we can do anymore, John.” The younger man whispered as he swirled the whiskey in his glass. A bitter smile on his face.
“And he’s okay with it?” The other asked, moving uncomfortably in his seat. No, it wasn’t his life, but he had seen them getting together back when they all went to college, he had been Jaehyun’s best man at their wedding, he had helped them move in, and now, this. He always thought they were one of the strongest couples in their circle of friends, that was the last thing he expected to come from them.
“I mean, he asked me this.” If there was someone not okay with all of this was Jaehyun, not Doyoung. But what else was he supposed to do? Stump his feet on the ground, scream and cry, and make Doyoung stay out of pity? He had thought about it when alcohol drowned his blood and he attempted to call him in the middle of the night. But he gave up, and instead, he dragged his body on their bedroom, letting his acid tears wet the pillow were Doyoung used to lay his head. What was left of his scent, lulling him to sleep.
Johnny’s eyes widened even more. He wanted to ask so many questions, but he kept quiet. He was more than sure that Jaehyun didn’t want to talk. Not about that at least.
“Do you want to stay here for a while?” Johnny asked, pushing his hair back with a hand, and leaning closer to his friend with his upper body, trying to get a better view of him.
Jaehyun thought about it for a while, was that going to change something? He was supposed to go back to what used to be their place anyway, sooner or later. He sighed, pushed down in one go the liquid in the glass and then answered. “No, thanks. I’ll be fine.”
But Jaehyun wasn’t fine at all.
And right there where they used to share their everything, Jaehyun wondered when it all went wrong. When did they start to walk on a thin line? Step after step balancing on a tightrope. When did they fall down? Why he couldn’t see the sign? If Doyoung ever gave him a warning sign. And maybe he did, maybe Doyoung was screaming for help, begging to be heard. And Jaehyun didn’t get it, too busy trying to paint their canvas gold instead of repairing the damages. But Jaehyun didn’t have superpowers, he couldn’t read his mind, no matter how hard he tried or wanted.
Probably he should’ve seen it. When his enthusiasm in holding conversations at dinner faded, and he would move the food from side to side of the plate. He should’ve got that something was wrong when his smiles turned into smirks most of the times. He should’ve seen it when Doyoung would shrink away in the bed, giving him his back and not wanting to be hugged.
Jaehyun could’ve noticed so many things, and dwell in regret, but what was the point now? He couldn’t turn things around or go back in time. But he wondered if Doyoung had secretly given them second, third and hundred changes. And if he did, he was mad at him for not speaking up. For keeping everything under the rug, trying to put the pieces back up by himself. Because Jaehyun would’ve done anything to not shipwreck and save their relationship. Maybe nothing would’ve changed anyway, but at least he would’ve given it a try, and that would’ve made it easier for him to sleep at night without being haunted by regret.
Another thought that haunted him was when did Doyoung start to mentally already be out of the door? When was the last sincere ‘I love you’ that rolled out of Doyoung’s lips? He thought of their last kiss, shared that morning before Doyoung left for work, and suddenly the taste on his lips turned bittersweet. There was no love in it, and in so many other things they did in the last, he didn’t know how many, months.
That hurt him the most. Knowing that there was no love left for him, anymore.
But he hated the most how his brain would constantly bring him back to him. A constant reminder that he wasn’t there. Day and night, on and on.
Jaehyun couldn’t find a way to put a closure to them.
Not even when the closure arrived legally.
Jaehyun’s heart ached when he saw Doyoung standing at the other side of the room. His fit body wrapped in one of his usual suit and tie attire, with his shiny shoes at the feet. His black hair pulled back, showing perfectly his painfully handsome forehead and face. He looked unreal, as always since he met him. And from the outside, it looked like a perfectly usual day, with Doyoung dressed like that ready to go to work and come home. But it wasn’t like this. Because now, the one left on the outside was Jaehyun, looking inside at the film reel that was showing a story that wasn’t there anymore.
It had been three months since he had seen him last when they started the practice for the divorce. And now they needed to seal the deal and put a serious end to it all. It felt strange, a few minutes and they weren’t going to be married anymore even for the law. Memories of their wedding flashed before his eyes, it was crazy how a sign could tie somebody ‘forever’ and another one could tear them apart.  
“So, it’s done.” Jaehyun shrugged with his hands in his pocket as soon as they were outside the court. They were standing next to each other, for no particular reason. They weren’t tied anymore, their red string of fate broken, yet, they couldn’t move away from each other. It strangely felt nice, though. Probably because they were both staring at the crowded street in front of them, full of moms carrying their babies in the strollers, people walking their dogs, others running to work. They could somehow get lost inside other’s people lives and don’t focus on theirs who had just changed forever.
“Yes, it’s done,” Doyoung answered, his eyes looking at the ground for a brief second. He didn’t feel the heavy weight lift from his heart when he signed the papers and he wondered why. Was it because there was no bad blood between them and it was harder to let go? Or maybe because he feared he would’ve lost Jaehyun forever. But could he ask him to stay friends after everything they had? How selfish would have that been?
“Well, what people usually say after this?” Jaehyun asked giggling, turning to the side to face him. His ears tinted with a shy shade of red.
“I have no idea,” Doyoung let out a small laugh. “I guess people usually tell the other to fuck off forever, but I think that’s not the case, right?” He asked, fearing that in reality that was the case. In the end, he kind of deserved it after all the hurting he had cause to Jaehyun without being even able to give him a reason.
“Nope, definitely not us.” The youngest answered with a small smile on his face, and his dimple appeared shyly for a fragment. Doyoung would’ve missed it. He knew he would’ve missed a lot of things about Jaehyun that had made his day for the last seven years. That wasn’t his home anymore, but it had been, and he could never regret it. But he also felt that something better was waiting for them in the future, they would’ve found their happy ending, ‘the one’, their place in the world.
When silent filled the air around them once again, Doyoung started to nervously move on the spot. That was really the end of their story and it felt surreal because he seriously had thought they were the lucky ones. And Doyoung always hated being proven wrong. Or maybe they were the ones. People always say that, right, the right person at the wrong time. Maybe if they had met each other now. Maybe if they hadn’t changed so much through the years. But what was the sense of filling a blank page of ‘What Ifs’ when the reality was different?
“I still have something to take from home, I forgot some things.” The oldest mumbled, trying to fix a strand of hair that was falling from the one who was still sticking together with the gel. No, he wasn’t so sure about it. But it was an excuse to come back again and properly say goodbye to what had been his home for the last years of his life, and see him again.
“You can pass anytime, you know my routine.” The brown-haired noted. ‘You were part of it until a few time ago’ He wanted to add, but didn’t. There was no need to remind him, Doyoung knew it.
“Great,” Doyoung exclaimed, clapping his hand together to cut it out. “I’ll text beforehand so I’ll be sure I won’t bother you.”
“Fine. See you!” Jaehyun answered as he watched him go again. “You won’t ever bother me.” He added in a whisper, just for himself.
And as he watched Doyoung’s disappear from his sight, his heart ached in his chest. It felt like he had been sent away from his homeland, his crown, with no chance of coming back. In exile, seeing him from the outside. Doyoung wasn’t his crown anymore. There was nothing more to defend, now. And he had to accept it.
The Christmas lights were all over the city. From the decoration of the houses to the big illuminations in the streets. The first snow had already fallen on the city and the white snowflakes were still laying on top of every surface they found when they fell from the sky.
The cold was starting to get on Jaehyun’s nerve, his nose red and frozen, the heat given to his hands cupping his face not enough to warm him up.
“Johnny! Are you done?” He asked lightly jumping on the spot to at least try not to freeze his knees too and walk around like Pinocchio.
“I’m almost there. Just this small thing for Mark, he’s coming back from Canada.” His best friend screamed, still busy with his nose buried in one of those small open boutiques in the busy square where they held Christmas markets.
Jaehyun had no idea why Johnny always procrastinated in everything and mostly he had no idea why he would always follow him everywhere. Usually, he wouldn’t have minded much since Christmas was his favourite holiday. It meant staying with his loved ones, hot chocolate in the evening, the same old movies on the TV, making biscuits on Christmas Eve and wrapping up gifts. Usually, he wouldn’t even have minded staying in the frozen cold for hours just because Johnny needed to buy thousand of things last minute and getting his arms numb. Because that would’ve made his home feel cosier once he got back and after hanging his scarf and coat on the clothing hanger he would’ve collapsed in Doyoung’s arms who were waiting for him open as he laid on the couch. And they would’ve laughed about something stupid Johnny had done or said. Just to drink hot tea side by side with their silly matching pyjamas, the ones Jaehyun insisted so much to buy. But his home had gotten pretty cold that winter. He couldn’t feel the Christmas spirit all around him. He didn’t even put up decorations. What was the point anyway if his hands wouldn’t have met Doyoung’s while putting up the lights, or he couldn’t hear Doyoung screaming against the garland who had no intention to stay on the wall. And what was the need of the Christmas tree if the only gift he wanted that year was something he could never have back?
“You’re zoning out again, Jae.” Johnny’s voice brought him back to reality, a sigh left his lips forming a white cloud in front of his face.
“Sorry.” He mumbled looking down at all the bags Johnny was carrying with him. “All of these gifts and for who?”
“You, Ten, Mark, Yuta, my parents, the lil’ girl of our neighbour, oh and the old lady that lives on the other side of the road, she always brings me and Ten biscuits and home-made blankets, she’s so sweet. Some of my co-workers, and other people that you don’t know. Oh also Do–” Johnny stopped immediately when he realized the name that was about to roll out of his lips.
Jaehyun rolled his eyes at the sky. “You can say his name in front of me, John. I’m not going to die if you talk about him.” He said. “Also hand me some of these. You look like Santa Claus.” He joked grabbing some of the bags the older was holding.
“Well, I don’t want to say something out of place,” Johnny told him as soon as they started to walk towards Johnny’s car.
“You were friends with him before me, so I don’t see where there’s a problem.” Jaehyun reminded him.
“The problem is in the way you stopped seeing the light of the sun unless I drag you out of the house, Mister Jung,” Johnny remarked, side-eyeing him.
Jaehyun scoffed. “I’m fine, Johnny.”
“Lie to your face in the mirror, not me. I know you since we were in diapers, Yoonoh.” The man said, stopping in his tracks, to give him a bad look.
“Fine,” He gave up, raising his hands in the air. “And what should I do about it?”
“Don’t know, maybe get out? Drag your fine ass somewhere and get some dick like you used to do.”
“Johnny! For fuck sake, shut up!” He screamed, his face turning completely red from embarrassment. Why did he have to be like that?
“I didn’t lie.” He raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t intend to do it.” Jaehyun asserted.
“Why not? You’re just twenty-seven. Don’t act like your life his over.” Johnny whined almost as if he would gain something from him starting to do it. And maybe he would. He wouldn’t have to listen to him whine and cry about 'the wasted years of his life’ like he used to call him. He would’ve got the funny positive Jaehyun back. But it felt like a dream.
“I don’t have the age to go clubbing and come back at two, John.” He rolled his eyes again. “And hook up with random people?” He squealed, just the mere thought disgusting him.
“Don’t act like you couldn’t get any.”
“That’s not the point! I’m not looking for a random adventure.” He explained. He rarely did that when he was in high school, imagine now.
“You really have a thing for commitment, ugh?” Johnny asked tilting his head. They had arrived at the car and Johnny opened the trunk to put the bags inside.
Jaehyun didn’t answer, he simply gave him side eyes and helped with his stuff.
Once the engine was on and they started to make their way in the city traffic, Johnny brought up the conversation again. “Listen, let me be serious.”
“Finally, thank God,” Jaehyun exclaimed, letting his head fall against the seat.
“Hey!” Johnny screamed, hitting his arm playfully. “Anyway, I’m not telling you to go back in the game, yet. I can’t even imagine how hard it is for you, but you can still have some fun, you know?”
Jaehyun’s face contorted in disgust another time. “And how? Downloading some app so I’ll be opening the door to a creepy man who’s real plan is to kill me? Or go to the club and take a woman home and boom, since God’s not by my side she’ll end up pregnant someway?”
“Why do you always have to see the bad picture, you weren’t like this!” Johnny exhaled through his nose, his hands tighten on the wheel out of frustration.
“Exactly, and look at where it led me being all positive and shit.” He burst out moving his hands frenetically.
Another sigh left Johnny’s mouth. The situation was more tragic than what he expected. He knew that it wouldn’t have been all sunshine and rainbows but he couldn’t see his best friend like this. He decided to drop the conversation, though. He had to come up with a great idea Jaehyun couldn’t refuse instead of making him go crazy. So the rest of the drive went on smoothly, with music playing in the background and the two of them talking about this and that.
“Thanks for the ride home,” Jaehyun said once Johnny entered his driveway, one hand on the car door handle ready to go out.
“Thank you for coming and pull up with my shits. I swear that your Christmas gift is going to make it up for all of this.” Johnny said, a bright smile painted on his face.
Jaehyun smiled with his eyes, something Johnny had stopped witnessing so often. “Nah, you know I like spending time with you like this. It reminds me of when we were younger.”
“Wait!” Johnny screamed rolling down the window. “Why don’t you come to our party on the 22nd? Ten told me that one of his friends from the dance academy course in French is coming over, if I don’t remember wrong he’s also your age.”
Jaehyun wanted to roll his eyes again, Johnny really wasn’t throwing the towel. But instead, he thought for a while and then agreed. What could go wrong?
Everything, actually.
It wasn’t even Jaehyun’s fault. He went there with the best intentions, even quite convinced of letting himself go for one night and, why not, give a shot to Ten’s friend. He deserved a sparkle of happiness, right? Wallowing in his misery wasn’t leading to anywhere good.
And now Jaehyun was standing in his friends’ hall, leaning against the white wall with a glass of champagne in hand looking around the room. One hour had passed since he had arrived and Ten’s friend was nowhere to be seen. And in all of that, Johnny had forgotten to say that they had also invited Doyoung to the party. Worst of it all it was that Doyoung had brought along somebody else.
Jaehyun wanted to leave. Run at home and cry in his bed till he passed out. But at the same time, he didn’t want to seem weak in front of his friends and his ex-husband. He knew that leaving would’ve made him the centre of their conversations with Johnny sighing and saying how bad he was affronting the situation. And as much as he liked his friends caring for him he also hated to be pitied, especially in front of the cause of his pain.
Tired of acting like a pillar for the wall he started to wander around the room. He had no idea since when Johnny and Ten started to have so many friends to call over, and why they enjoyed so much throwing parties. Probably it was all Ten’s fault, and the way he couldn’t leave his job as an event planner out of the house. It was good, though. Ten’s taste was great and similar to Jaehyun’s, delicate colours schemes and pretty decoration. And Johnny was good at cooking, making delicious finger foods laying on the table that they moved in the middle of the living room. Their house was also big enough to let people breathe and don’t crash against each other. But he used to enjoy this party way more the years that had passed. There were fewer people and he almost knew every single one of them. Now the place was full of unknown faces and the ones he knew were hurting him.
Thank God the kitchen was empty and he knew that Johnny let the pass inside only to few people, luckily he was one of them. He could breathe again and get ready to go back outside and face all the other happy faces. Maybe start talking with someone about everything and anything. He wasn’t so sure he wanted to hear about anyone’s happy families and their successful marriage, but he guessed it was still better than nothing.
One thing he wasn’t expecting on the way out was coming face to face with Doyoung. His breath got caught in his throat as he took a small step back, the distance between them increasing. That was the last thing he wanted to happen. Seeing him from distance was already bad enough but having to face him, oh hell no.
He had no idea if it was because it had been six months since had seen him last, but Doyoung looked even more breathtaking than the usual. His black hair was falling into places so perfectly on his face. He was wearing one of his favourite black turtleneck, a silver necklace that he couldn’t recognize, and black jeans. But then Jaehyun’s eyes fell on Doyoung’s hand just to see a ring that wasn’t theirs, and his heart skipped a beat.
“Hey.” Before he could focus more on it, Doyoung’s voice brought his attention back on him.
“H–hey,” He stuttered, suddenly feeling trapped. Doyoung had no intention to start a conversation with him, right? He wouldn’t have been so cruel, right?
“How’s it going? It’s been quite some time since we’ve seen each other.” Okay, Doyoung had chosen cruelty that day. And Jaehyun decided to be a fool and answer him. He should’ve made up a random excuse and leave. Say that he forgot something on the stoves. Or that he needed to turn down the heater he had forgotten on. But he decided to stay, and lie.
“Good. I’m doing great. What about you?” His same old fake smile that he would plaster in a situation like this popped on his face, but now Doyoung was too busy to notice it, too caught up in something else, or better, someone else, to decipher the messages behind Jaehyun unspoken words.
“That’s amazing. Johnny had told me you were a bit down?” Doyoung asked, worry written all over his face. And it would’ve warmed Jaehyun’s heart if he could only have the confirmation that it was real and not put there just because he had to.
“Oh no, I’ve been extremely busy with work lately and I also started to do graphic commission by myself, outside of the agency that’s why,” Jaehyun said smiling. Reminding himself to kill Johnny the first time he had the opportunity.
“Oh, wow. Want to go independent?” Doyoung asked and he sounded genuinely interested in it.
“Don’t know. Just wanted to try something else.” He smiled, the reality was that he was trying to fill his days with more work so he couldn’t think about anything else. Or to be more precise, he had no time to think about Doyoung. Staying up all night for him was already enough. Working on graphics of any kind meant to do hours of research, build a plan, make drafts and then put everything into work. He couldn’t let himself get lost into other things that hurt him more.
Doyoung nodded, pressing his lips in a thin line.
“You?” Jaehyun asked again, knowing damn well he would’ve hated the answer. Because Doyoung had nothing to lie about. He was happy without him.
“Mh, quite good. Same shit at work, I guess.” Doyoung laughed it off, leaving out the part of his love life and how happy he was. There was no need to be so cruel and shove in his face that he had found somebody else after nine months without him.
Jaehyun held back a laugh, he knew he was avoiding that topic because Doyoung was more than happy. He could see it in his relaxed face and in the way he was laughing happily when Jaehyun caught sight of him at the start of the night, with his arms around the other boy’s waist. There was no need to give him fake niceties when he knew damn well that Jaehyun had him written in the palm of his hands and could read him like the words of his favourite song. And he could see that Doyoung was shining, sparkling like a comet in the sky, who passed in his sky for a brief second and then moved on, destined to glow forever for somebody else.
“You’re here! I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” A voice exclaimed all of sudden from behind Jaehyun. He didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.
“Yeah, I was catching up with –” Doyoung stopped in his track, not knowing what to say. Taeyong knew he was divorced but he never talked much about it and he also never seen a picture of him, there was no way he could recognize him, also he didn’t want to use the term ex-husband for some reason in front of Jaehyun.
“I’m Jaehyun.” The youngest said handing his hand to the man who came by Doyoung side, deciding to skip the awkward part of letting him know who he was in his past life.
The man smiled and shook his hand. “I’m Taeyong, nice to meet you.” Then he turned to Doyoung. “Johnny needs you upstairs for something, by the way.”
“Oh, right now?” He asked, his eyes moving fast between the two other men. Taeyong nodded and grabbed a glass of champagne from the stand by their side. “Coming with me?”
“No, he just wanted you.”
Doyoung stopped in his tracks and glanced back at Jaehyun worried.
Jaehyun smiled and though that Doyoung hadn’t met the new him, yet.
“Go, you know Johnny doesn’t like to wait. We’ll survive without you.” He joked, trying to assure Doyoung that there was no problem if he let them alone.
A small chuckle left Taeyong lips at his words and after a second of hesitation, Doyoung disappeared in the crowds of other people.
“You’re Johnny’s friend?” The blonde-haired man asked, turning around to look at him.
“Yeah, we’ve grown up together.” He said, taking a big gulp from his glass of champagne. He knew he needed it to survive. “You?” He added, trying to get the answer Doyoung was avoiding to give him.
“Oh, I’ve worked with Ten at an event and we quickly became friends.” He said smiling and Jaehyun frowned. Both because things weren’t adding up, he and Doyoung were way too close to not know each other, and also because he was incredibly handsome and the most immature part of him hated him. If he wanted, Taeyong could’ve stolen anyone’s man from their hands, there was no wonder Doyoung fell for him.
“And well, I’m also Doyoung’s boyfriend. You know, one thing leads to another and here we are.” He added, tilting his head to the side with a small smile on his face.
Jaehyun’s heart clung in his chest. He nodded, smiling bitterly and letting his eyes look down at his feet for a moment. Just enough for him to hide the pain at Taeyong’s eyes. 'Doyoung’s boyfriend’, and it wasn’t him.
“Are you dating someone?” The man asked, and in the sincerity of his voice, Jaehyun got that he had no idea who he was talking to. But he liked it that way. He hated fake niceties and pity. He was tired of the same mortified faces he got every time he talked with someone about his divorce, and he didn’t want them from his ex-husband’s boyfriend.
“No, and I really don’t plan too.” He said sarcastically.
Taeyong’s smile dropped, not getting where he was coming from.
“Coming out of a bad break-up after years together.” He answered his silent question, his lips pressing together in a tight smile that made both of his dimples pop out. And he could already see Taeyong’s sorry face.
“Don’t,” He warned, “I’m fine. Don’t say you’re sorry for something you didn’t do.”
Taeyong simply nodded and then stared at the ground.
“Tell me about you and Dodo, instead.”
And Taeyong face lit up again. His eyes sparkling as he started talking about this and that, and Jaehyun simply listened. How painful it was to hear somebody else talk about Doyoung like he was used to. And how hard it was to pretend he didn’t know anything so intimate about it, like the bad habit he had of leaving the wet towel on the sofa, or the spoon in the pan, or how soft he looked first thing in the morning with his sleepy gummy smile.
“You seem like an amazing couple,” Jaehyun affirmed genuinely once Taeyong finished.
Taeyong blushed. “Thanks, I’m really lucky to have him by my side.”
“Yes, you are,” Jaehyun said. “And he’s lucky to have you.” He added, swallowing the pain in his throat. Though, he wasn’t lying. Jaehyun was glad to know him in good hands, and Taeyong seemed a really good person.
Jaehyun knew that there would’ve been happiness after him. That was what Doyoung was looking for. The happiness Jaehyun wasn’t able to give him anymore. But he also knew that there had been happiness because of him, and they couldn’t delete all of that. He believed in that.
“Tell him I said hi.” He mumbled waving at the blond when he saw the black-haired coming down the stairs and started to walk away before he could hear his answer.
“Oh, sorry!” Somebody mumbled after crashing against him. His glass almost dropping from his hands.
“No, don’t worry, it’s fine.” He answered, trying to regain his composure. He didn’t even look at them and started to walk away, but a hand blocked him by the wrist. He sighed, not really in the mood to start a conversation with someone. He wanted to leave. His social battery had run low.
“Sorry, didn’t want to be rude. Are you Jaehyun?” The voice asked, and finally, he turned around. His eyes meeting a man around his age, with phoenix brown eyes, and chocolate brown hair falling on his forehead.
“Why?” Jaehyun snapped out of his momentary trance.
“I’m Ten’s friend.” He sputtered, embarrassment filling his voice. “Oh, he didn’t say anything. Forget I said anything.” He said, red in the face, realizing that the man in front of him had no idea of who he was, and turned around.
“No, wait!” Jaehyun yelled, stopping him just like he did with him before. “I’m Jaehyun. I knew one of his friend my age was coming over, just had no idea it was you.”
The men smiled after emitting a sigh of relief. “Typical of Ten.” He laughed, rolling his eyes. “I’m Sicheng.” He added, giving him his hand.
“Johnny’s not going to talk to me for a week when he realizes that I sneaked out of his party to go drink a beer in a bar with a stranger.” Jaehyun laughed after taking a sip from the pint.
Sicheng laughed and mirrored his action of putting the pint down on the small table in front of them. “I think he’s going to be more than okay with it, to be honest.” He teased, smirking and tilting his head to the side.
Jaehyun sighed and slumped his head against the palm of his head. “Damn, the situation is way more tragic than I was expecting if he told you about this setup.”
Another giggle slipped out of the man, who he later found out to be Chinese, lips.
“Actually,” he stated, “this was a set up also for me.” He admitted, face flushed in red.
“Really?”
Sicheng nodded, taking another gulp from the glass. He wasn’t sure about telling him his story, or why he was there, trying to find a new and better life, but at the same time, he didn’t want to keep many secrets to him. Nothing good starts with thousands of skeleton in the closet.
“What are you looking for, here?” Jaehyun asked, propping his chin with his elbow on the table.
Sicheng exhaled and let his back rest against the bench. “Happiness, I guess.” When Jaehyun expression changed and suddenly the mood became sadder he added, “Was that too deep?”
Jaehyun shook his head immediately and straightened his posture. “No. I’m looking for the same thing.”
The Chinese man took a breath of relief, a small smile appearing on his face. “I just want to breathe, you know? I tough that close to my thirties big surprises in my life would be over but destiny loves to prove you wrong.”
Jaehyun had no idea what he was talking about, but he could exactly get his point of view. Being almost thirty doesn’t mean that you’re old, or that your life is over, but starting from zero when you weren’t expecting certain things to happen wasn’t easy.
“So you opted for the ‘New country, new me’” He tried to ironize, adding quotation marks with his hands in the air.
“I guess,” Sicheng shrugged. “I needed to breathe fresh air and give my life a drastic change that would motivate me to move forward.”
“A break-up?” The other asked, raising his eyebrow, trying to guess what he was running away from.
Sicheng stilled for a second and mumbled: “Yes, just that.” And then added an embarrassed laugh. Jaehyun nodded, not totally convinced, but who was he to expect him to open up to him? They were strangers who were happening to be talking to each other.
“And you?” Sicheng asked, trying to change the topic from him and his life.
“Ugh,” he chuckled, “I just divorced after seven years, pretty much out of nowhere because everything seemed perfect for me but apparently it wasn’t.” He said, with a forced smile on his face, looking straight at Sicheng’s eyes.
Sicheng’s mouth hung open as he tried to find the words to say. “That sucks,” he let out before he could realize he had said it out loud. “No shit I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Dammit, that’s why I fuck everything up.” He started to mumble out covering his mouth every two words and looking everywhere but Jaehyun.
But instead of getting mad, a loud deep laugh resonated from Jaehyun’s chest. “Is this drunk you or are you normally like this?”
“I – I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”
“You didn’t offend me. It was the best reaction I received after I delivered the big news. It’s not a lie, it sucks.” He smiled, trying to reassure him. “Plus, I like that you’re honest.” He smirked.
“Was that an attempt to flirt?” Sicheng asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I hope I can do better than this while flirting.”
The night went on quite smoothly, Sicheng was nice and they matched unexpectedly well together. Yet, something was stopping Jaehyun from loosing up completely. They could’ve easily gone home together and have a one night stand, just to have some fun, but something about the mere thought of it felt so wrong.
“So, it was great.” He whispered, his head low and his feet moving nervously. The cold was getting in their bones, out of the pub, bidding their goodbyes.
“Yes, it was. We could exchange numbers.” Sicheng proposed, smiling warmly at him.
“Oh, yeah, sure,” Jaehyun mumbled, taken aback, not expecting that to happen.
“Listen, I want to be honest with you,” Jaehyun said, putting his phone back in his pocket once they exchanged numbers. He waited for the other to nod and then went on. “I’m not looking for something romantic and serious right now.”
Sicheng smiled, a little bit bitterly and hung his head low. He had to expect it but he was still kind of sad about it. “Yeah, can imagine. It’s okay, I need friends anyway.”
“Yeah, me too. We can hang out more often.” He smiled.
“Sure, would love to.” Sicheng said, but there was a little problem, a small secret he had kept to himself for the whole night. Sicheng wasn’t so free of going out when he wanted to.
Once at home, Jaehyun launched himself in his bed and let the sheets cover him completely. He wasn’t sad, he was frustrated. He hated how he couldn’t move on. Still stuck on the white pages of a book nobody would’ve kept on writing.
Why was it so hard for him to get over Doyoung? And why Doyoung already forgot him? Was he so easy to be replaced?
He got up, throwing the sheets to the side and made his way to the kitchen. Some water would’ve helped, and also made him avoid a hangover the morning after.
But the haunting thoughts had no intention to drown themselves.
Usually, divorces were never painful, it was something both people wanted, and in the cases where somebody wasn’t okay with it, there were economical issues or children in between. But there wasn’t the case.
Jaehyun couldn’t make the pain go away, in any way. He couldn’t make it go away by painting Doyoung as a villain, simply because he wasn’t. Doyoung had never done anything wrong in their seven years together. He made him live in paradise, and maybe that was the price he had to pay for all of the happiness. He should’ve reminded himself that the high was worth the pain, but he couldn’t.
And now that the cold of the night was creeping in his bones he couldn’t help but think that Doyoung’s body wasn’t next to his to keep him warm. Doyoung’s hand weren’t running on his naked skin, his lips weren’t leaving red marks on his abdomen, and they wouldn’t have become one in the night. Doyoung right now was in another bed, becoming a mess in other sheets that weren’t his. That night, and all the others from then on, the one to lay his head on Doyoung’s chest once they were done would’ve been Taeyong and not him. Doyoung’s heartbeat wasn’t his lullaby anymore.
While he would lay there, for another night that seemed endless, sleepless, trying to bid him goodbye. Trying to close his eyes and dream of a place far away from there, and be able to say his long goodbye at least in his dreams. But instead, when his brain would give up in the arms of Morpheus, Jaehyun would see it all, vivid in front of his eyes. Doyoung’s face, lighting up in the morning. His skin against his. His voice telling him how much he loved him and how he would spend the rest of his life by his side. And it felt so real, that Jaehyun couldn’t help but wake up with tears streaming down his face when Doyoung’s phantom disappeared right in front of him.
And he wished he knew how to deal with all of that. But nobody teaches you how to face a break-up like this.
No one tells you what to do when the person that swore to be by your side in joy and pain, in health and sickness, turns their back to you. Nobody tells you what to do when a good man hurts you, and involuntary, you hurt him too.
And when Jaehyun didn’t know what to do, feeling lost and unmoored, he made a mistake that would’ve changed his life forever.
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rosierocks30 · 3 years
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Hidden: Ch. 20
Chapter 20: Dancing with the Devil
(Levi/Arne)
It was dark and smelly. He can hear drops of water from wherever he was placed. Arne woke up from being knocked out at the tarven. He realized this was a cell and his wrists were cuffed to the wall. The son of farmers felt anxious from wanting to know where his wife was. Is Ingrid safe? Are they harming her? Is their unborn child safe too? So much fear of what ifs ran through his mind. 
Arne heard noises of the guards coming towards his cell. The sound of keys shuffled as the guard inserted the key into the lock and unlocked the cell’s bar. Once the guard opened, he shouted at Arne. “Prisoner, I see you’re awake. We’re moving you to the other dungeon.” 
Arne barely noticed the guard had a dark mask on his head. Probably concealing his identity. As Arne was uncuffed from the chains, the guard dragged him away from the cell. His body was a bit weak from who knows what they use to knock him out. 
The silence was killing him. All he saw the cold hallways leading to the other parts of the dungeon. The dark haired prisoner glanced at a room where a wooden like table was in the middle. 
Two others went to grab Arne and placed him on the wooden table. They strapped him down tightly with thick leather belts. 
“As a punishment for crimes, the king made you his labrat for risky experiments. The scientist will arrive soon.” The guard said. 
Not too long, a man arrived and looked at Arne. “Aw this is my latest subject?”
Latest? So there were other unfortunate lads before him? He won’t be surprised if none had survived from whatever sick experiment the king had approved. 
“Hello there! I’m Gabriel Hange, the king’s new scientist. You looked well fitted than my previous subjects. Good good. We’re gonna need a healthy one. Hopefully, you will be my breakthrough!” He giggled with excitement. 
Arne was already irritated with this mad lad. The scientist Gabriel dismissed the guards when they left the room. Now it was him and this deranged man. “It;s just you and me. Before I start, what questions do you have?” 
Arne does have many questions but most of them won’t get answered as this scientist might not know it. “What do you plan on doing to me?” He asked. 
“You’re a man of getting to the straight answers? Well, let’s start at the beginning. The king had wanted a loyal knight to serve and obey him only. So I was granted an audience with him when he heard about my theory of it’s possible to create a titan in it’s human form without shifting into one of the nine titans or being pure mindless ones.” Gabriel explained to Arne. 
“So basically I will become a weapon?” Arne said. 
“Yeah, something like that if you survive.” The scientist said. 
Arne doesn’t have a choice since he was tied to the table. He closed his eyes to pray to the gods and goddesses to protect his wife and their unborn babe. “Let’s just get this over with.” He mumbled. 
“Yes, yes. I hope you make it through, sir.” The dark brown haired man said. 
“I’m not a knight. Just a peasant farmer.” He glanced at Hange the scientist. 
“Of course, then what shall I call you?” He said. 
“Call me Ackerman.” Arne said. 
Gabriel nodded in accepting the other’s request. “Alright Ackerman this will hurt.” 
Arne took a deep breath to mentally be prepared for the pain he will endure. As he felt a burning pain inside his veins, Arne grunts from trying to not let this pain consume him. Gabriel had injected a small dose of blue liquid into the bloodstream of Arne’s veins. The scientist wanted to start off a small dose before giving the all the blue serum like fluid to his test subject. The dark brown haired man with glasses watched how this man endures the pain. Usually, the other test subjects begin to scream for mercy. Their bodies become purple as the serum slowly deteriorates their organs and melts them until blood comes out from their noses, eyes, ears, and mouth. It looked like a deadly poison killed them. Technically, this serum is like poison. This prisoner hasn’t shown signs of bleeding from nothing of the areas the scientist had seen with others. 
“You are strong for enduring this small dose. Let’s see if you can handle half of the serum I have.” Hange said. He connected a bag with serum to the tube that’s connected to a needle on Arne's arm.  He slowly squeezed the bag as the fluid went into Arne’s bloodstream. Arne felt sweats and heat from his body raising its temperature for trying to kill off the foreign fluid inside his body. Finally, the scientist finished the bag. 
“Alright, all done. We’ll just have to wait until the next day if you make it or not to add another bag of fluid into you. For now, I will observe how your behavior and symptoms react to the serum.”  He said. 
Arne couldn’t answer him as he still felt his body on fire. He began to scream when the fluid began to boil in his blood. Oh gods, this is the worst torture ever. He was thinking death would be more pleasant.
No...he can’t think like that. He must get this through to escape and find Ingrid. Ingrid and the babe need him. He must survive. He’ll live and protect his family. 
The sequence turned white and Levi Ackerman woke up with sweats and fever. The raven haired man grunts from the fever and the pain he felt from his body. Davos and his assistants rush to get him stable. Levi’s vitals were going off the chart. The captain felt hallucination of seeing a familiar blonde beauty that he loves and cherishes. 
“Historia….” His wife’s name whispered breathlessly from his dry chapped lips then darkness greeted him. 
Levi’s eyes opened slowly as the view was not the white room nor the dungeon cells. Where the fuck is he? Where did they move him this time? He slowly sit up and heard heavy chains move. He glanced down to see his wrists were cuffed and chained to the bed. He could smell sterile and medicine. Did they put him in a hospital? A figure appeared before him. The figure was an old man with few hairs on his head. He has a genuine smile on his face which Levi senses this man must be the doctor from the uniform white robe they wear. Right next to him was a familiar brat he used to kick the shit out of him to save his life. 
“Had a nice nap, Captain? The doctor had to make sure you won’t die on us, but you are Humanity’s Strongest. You’re too hard to die anyways.” Eren smirked. 
Eren is lucky Levi was chained and weak at the moment from kicking his ass again. Levi glared at the Titan Shifter. 
“How unpleasant to see you, Jaeger.” He mumbled. 
“You might find it hard to believe but I’m not the enemy, captain.” Eren said. 
Levi scoffed as he does find it hard to believe. “Tch.” 
“We have a lot of catching up to do because Historia has begged me to help you out to escape the palace and sent you back to the Assassins and the soldiers.” Erren whispered. 
Levi glanced at him in confusion. Is this a joke? Eren had decided to play the good guy? Levi doesn’t want to fall for this brat’s tricks. Did Historia contact Eren to help out?
“Look Levi, Historia and I made a pact to help you get out of here. Most of the soldiers are planning to strike soon. I am spying for the military and the assassins. I had to convince Davos to let the doctor check up on you. As to him and the templars, you’re valuable to them.” Eren said. 
“Didn’t you want the whole world to end to save Eldia or some fucked up shit?” Levi finally spoke. 
“I did, but my perspective had changed.” Eren’s thoughts were on Natasha when he said that. 
“You have done fucked up shit. So give me a reason why I should this time believe you have changed?” The assassin may be weak from recovering from a high fever but his tone was dark. 
Eren frowned; he remembered the atrocious he had committed for the sake of freedom to the Eldians. In his mind, he had to become a great villain for the world to be untied and defeat him while freeing the curse. Now, his selfish desire had altered his destiny. He wants to do whatever it takes to protect his girl and their unborn. He wanted to give them peace and freedom without causing the majority of the world into chaos. 
“We both have something in common.” Eren said. 
“Like what?” Levi said. 
“Being a father. My kid will be born in nine months and I want this mess that I create be dealt with before he or she comes into this world. I want to keep my family safe. I know you want that too for Historia and your son. So, this is what’s going to happen. While most of the people are busy attending the ball, me and two others, Rick and Reggie will help you out to sneak away from the city. But I won’t go out of the city since I need to be here to play the “good brother”.” Eren explained to Levi. 
“What about Historia? I am not going to leave without her.” Levi hissed. 
“I understand you want to take her away from this hell, but she needs to be here in order to work. Her alibi will be the ball as queen she will be too busy attending guests at the ball. I promise to you that she will not be harmed. The Brotherhood and Paradis needs you as much this nation needs the soldiers. Marley finally regains their country from the Templars’ soldiers. Reiner is one hella Commander in Chief.” He chuckled.  
“The Armor Titan was made into a Commander? Didn’t know Marley had sympathy to allow an Eldian to rise from the ranks.” Levi said. 
“Yeah, I guess it was the templars who made this side of the world more united than I did.” Eren chuckled darkly. 
“Promise you will keep her safe if I go?” Levi finally gave in. 
“Yeah, I’ll make sure she will be safe.” Eren confirmed. 
Levi nodded. “Alright, but I’m holding on to your promise, Jaeger.” The shorter man said. 
Both men begin to plan out to sneak Levi away from the Templars’ grasp. It’s a good thing the King was still out of the country to deal with some templar business. 
(Gilbert)
Ever since he accepted Alexander de Lorenzo’s offer, Gilbert had been receiving expensive gifts from many places around the world. Whenever he meet up the Grandmaster, they had an amazing sex. It felt exhilarating and forbidden. Gilly still received love letters from Nathaniel as the king was on a business trip along the Grandmaster. But Alexander somehow convinced Nathaniel to let Gilbert be in charge of the templars and the people of Paradis even by law it should be the queen. As if he’ll let that man stealing harlot gain more power than him. He had worked his ass off to get where he is. Right now, he had to attend the ball along with her. Ugh they have to work together to make this charity ball successful. This will show both of his lovers that he is capable of taking on a big role. He will not fail. The tailor was adjusting Gilbert’s outfit for the ball. It came from Italy where Alexander was from. 
“My Lord, this suit is at it’s finest. Such a luxurious material can’t be found on this side of the world.” The tailor praised him. 
“Yes, this is one of a kind.” Gilly gloated. 
“It’s all set to be used at the ball. I hope you have a wonderful time. You will be the center of it tonight!” The tailor said. 
“Yes, of course.” he smirked. 
The ball had started and Gilbert was wearing a viper mask made of gold and crushed diamonds which it’s one of the gifts Alexander gave him. The guests had arrived with their masked on and the outfits were filled with so many colors. The tables of food from all over the world were displayed. The music plays with joy to dance and mingle. So far the ball was looking perfect. It would be magical if this bitch next to him was locked in her room and not greeting the guests. This was supposed to be his night instead the guests praised the queen how beautiful and breathtaking she looks. She was wearing a silver ball gown with the top silk material and the hem was puffy with flower patterns. The chest of the gown was shaped into a heart as her breasts were pushed up a bit. It would be inappropriate but since the Templars took control, Alexander had encouraged Nathaniel to bring in modern fashion and lifestyle even though Nathan wanted the old ways when King Karl had reigned in this island.  
Historia’s mask looked like a delicate swan with white and silver. The eye shape had dark shade. She was a Swan Queen as the nobles and Higher class praised. After greeting, he took a glass of champagne to drink and tried to not let her ruin the rest of the night. He will be praised and admired by the end of the night. 
(Hange)
Today half of the people are heading out of the walls to prepare to meet their allies across the sea. It’s clear Mikasa had made Hizuru their allies again. Marley had become their allies as well. This was a historical moment. For centuries these two sides were enemies until now. 
The Commander of the Survey corps had been alone writing her journal since who knows if her journal could end up in some museum or used as a school research paper.
She and William had been strategizing to give a surprise attack to the templars. But first they are waiting for Eren helping Rick and Reggie to sneak Levi out of the palace. Once it is done, they will give their second base which it’s at the coastline of this island. To let their allies in and heading towards here to take back their home. If Marley was capable of winning their nation so the Paradisian can. 
(Sasha)
The female Eldian soldier was having the time of her life residing in the city that never sleeps. New York City was so pretty with light during nights. She had tried many cuisines of different cultures. She was in heaven. The baby had been so far easy to take care of. Atticus had been a good boy. He rarely cries unless it’s necessary. He was a curious baby when toys were given to him to play. Only soft ones as he is just a month old. For a month old, he was a big boy. Sasha thought this kid will be tiny like his parents. Maybe the prince inherited a tall gene from somewhere. That would be funny if the baby grew up to be taller than both of them. 
Sasha was strolling with the baby stroller to enjoy nature in Central Park. It’s not like the nature she grew up with back home in her village, but this will do. She spotted a nice big tree where she can place a big blanket and have Atticus lay down to enjoy the fresh air. He had been cooped up in the house for weeks. A child should start embracing nature at this age. Sasha's parents had taken her outdoors when she was days old. As it was tradition back at her village. 
She may not be a pro at raising babies but she will from now raise the boy as the way she was raised. Once the blanket was spread Sasha placed the big bag on the blanket then gently picked up Atticus who giggled with joy from being picked up. He loves being carried. This kid was definitely a prince. 
“What a cute boy you are?” She coos at the infant. 
Atticus squeals in delight. He was laid on the blanket. Then Sasha places his toy jungle gym over him so he can kick and play. Today was a clear warm day with a breeze. Is this what it feels like to be free from discrimation, oppression, war, titans and corruption? This was a true paradise. Sasha didn’t have to worry for her life, but she felt guilty because back home her comrades and family are there where danger lurks. 
Sasha smiled at Atticus who was too entertained with his toys dangling over him. She didn’t notice someone’s presence when her mind was drifted away from thinking nostalgia memories with her friends from Levi’s squad. 
“What a cute baby you have?” The man looked at Atticus which the infant stopped playing to glanced at the stranger. 
Sasha quickly sits up to be on alert if this man gives any bad intentions. “Yes, he is cute. Isn’t he?” Her brown eyes stared at his brown eyes. 
“I mean it makes sense since he got his cuteness from his mother.” The man gave a flirty smile at her which Sasha responded with a blush from his bold comment.
“Thanks but I’m not his mother. I’m just his auntie well sorta. It’s really complicated.” She chuckled. 
“Oh I’m sorry, I thought he was yours, but that’s a good sign because you’re not with anyone, right?” He grinned. 
“I- right. I don’t have a boyfriend if that’s what interests you.” She said while her brow raised up. 
“That definitely interests me. By the way, the name is Niccolo Browns. What’s your name?” The man with blonde short wavy hair smiled. 
“My name is Sasha Braus and this cutie is Atticus Ackerman.” She glanced at the baby who was again busy playing with his toys. 
“Oh what a beautiful name you have, Sasha. The kiddo got a cool name. His parents must have out a lot of thought into his name.” Niccolo said. 
“Thank you. Your name sounds fun to say.” Sasha repeated his name especially because she likes the way his name sounds. 
“Thanks, I’m glad my name sounds fun to you.” He laughs from hearing her saying his name in different ways. 
“So, I notice you’re not from here? Your accent is hard to figure out where you’re from.” Niccolo had been thinking where her accent came from. It’s definitely not any European country. Is she from a Marleyan colony region? 
Sasha paused to think if it’s safe to tell this man where she’s from? There’s a chance he may not have heard the Eldian people and the conflict the Eldians dealt with most of the nations from the other side of the world. She took a glimpse at Atticus. The female soldier made a promise to protect the prince at all cost. She can’t let her selfish desires jeopardize the child’s life. 
“I’m from an unknown country that not many people knew about.” Sasha said. 
“Ah I see...trying to be mysterious?” He grinned. “It’s fine. You don’t have to tell me yet.” 
“Sorry, I’m a refugee so this place is still a culture shock, but the food here feels like heaven.” Sasha felt a drool escaping from her mouth at the thought of food. 
“Oh a refugee? I’m sorry to hear that. I bet it’s hard to adjust to a new life here? Hold on, you’re a foodie? This makes it easier to woo you.” Niccolo crossed his legs to sit on the grass to be comfortable. 
“It’s ok. One day, I will be able to go back home.” Sasha was curious what he meant about wooing her with food? “You know good places to eat?” 
Niccolo’s eyes sparkled as she asked him where are the best places to eat in NYC. “I have a restaurant in the Upper East Side.”  
“Wait, you’re a chief? That’s so cool. I will happily be your food taster.” Sasha grinned with joy. Food was her passion. She loves to eat that sometimes her friends have to drag her out from a tavern before they get kicked out. 
Niccolo was happy to hear she will taste his food whenever he creates a new dish for his customers. 
“I would be honored for you tasting my food. Maybe this weekend, I'll show you my restaurant and I’ll make a spectacular dinner. You’ll be the first to try a dish I have created recently. What do you say? A date?” Niccolo glanced at Sasha in hoping she accepted to have a dinner date with him. 
Sasha contemplates whether to go on a date with him or not. If she asked her new friend to babysit Atticus maybe she’ll agree to go on a date. 
“Yes, it’s a date.” She smiled. Niccolo was pleased she said yes. 
(Eren)
It was now the perfect hours to get Levi out of the clushes from the enemies. He had a little meeting with Reggie and that Rick guy. They plan on meeting him and Levi with a carriage full of metals. 
The green eyed Titan shifter had Levi dressed up as one of the Jeagerists. Both former comrades could hear the sound of the music and the people chatting. Eren thought of Natasha being there probably bored. He remembered her telling him how she hated going to social events. She dealt with her boredom by drinking and probably flirting with some random guy to where she takes him home for the night. Of course, this is different. She’s with his child. He hopes this escape plan with Levi will go smoothly. Eren wanted to be with his lover to hold her and give sneaking kisses. 
The quad holder titan shifter stared at the entrance where the ball was held. Right where Queen Historia was greeting, Eren spotted the woman he loved was also greeting and talking to the arriving guests. He was struck by what Natasha was wearing. Her dress was hugging her body. It looked like it’s her skin, only there were sprinkling diamonds on the top of the dress. Down where the hem of the dress was split on both sides to let her legs exposed including a bit of her thighs. Her mask was a gold and emerald venetian butterfly shape. It covered the upper part of her face. To Eren, she looks mystifying and beautiful. 
Levi interrupted him from gazing at Natasha so far away. “So is that your woman huh?” He whispered. 
Eren glanced at the captain then nodded to confirm. He could tell that Levi was also staring at Historia so far away. He understood how painful it was to not be with their lover without putting them in danger. 
“We’ll get through this, kid. One day, we’ll be with them, but right now we need to be focused.” Levi’s tone was compassionate towards Eren. Long ago, Levi was like a mentor and older brother towards Eren during the time when he was a soldier with one purpose to destroy all titans to free humanity. Now that purpose has changed overtime from learning the truth. 
“Right…” Eren takes in this rare moment of Levi being understanding. 
Both men resume to walk away the entrance of the ball before they get caught. By the time they exited the palace. Rick and Reggie were already on the carriage with leftover materials covered by a heavy cloak. Quickly, Eren led Levi to hide under the cloak where the materials are. 
“Alright guys, be safe and careful. There are many guards tonight because of the ball in this city, but once you get out of the city, you’ll be fine. Send me a letter when you guys make it so the queen can know this escape plan has worked.” Eren said. 
Rick and Reggie nodded. “Understood.” Reggie the assassin said. However Rick had one thing on his mind. 
“Eren, please let Eve and Maggie know that I couldn’t make it to the ball.” Rick said with a guilt on his expression. 
“Alright. I’ll let them know.” Eren said. 
“Oi, we should go now before we get caught.” Levi said from under the cloak. All four nodding then the carriage begins to stroll away. Eren watched them leaving the palace. As he can’t see them anymore, the former leader of Jeagerist goes back to the palace. 
While Eren was walking to go to his room, Floch stopped him. “Hey Eren, your brother was looking for you.” The green eyed man glanced at the red haired man. He noticed how Floch’s face was covered with bruises and a swollen eye. His cheeks were puffy due to being kicked repeatedly. This looks like how he had looked when Captain Levi beat the living shit out of him to save him from being executed during the first trials of the discovery of being a titan shifter. 
“What the hell happened to you?” Eren looked at the red haired Jeagerist. 
“Eh, it was some bitch that was playing hard to get.” Floch mumbled annoyingly. 
“Playing hard to get or you can’t take a no?” Eren’s sly comment made Floch glared at him. Once upon a time, Floch was one of his loyal followers. This guy admired and praised him like he was some god. When he came back to be a spy for the Assassins, Floch’s behavior became estranged and mad. He assumed power got over his head. As Floch now became the second powerful man in the Jaegerist group, Eren can see him being too entitled, especially having women coming to him. Of course, he had heard rumors Floch won't’ hesitate to cross the line if a woman doesn’t respond to his advances. It disgusts Eren to the core. Floch reminded Eren the First Fritz King when he took Ymir the Founder as his concubine/consort. 
“Shut up, Eren. You can’t say shit when you use Belia to warm your cock.” Floch scowled at him. 
Eren’s facial expression became dark. He didn’t hesitate to pinned Floch to the wall to remind him who is still in high rank.
“Whatever me and Belia had was an agreement we used each other to fulfill our needs behind closed doors.” His hand gripped tightly on to Floch’s neck. Between him and Floch, Eren is stronger than him. The power of being a titan holder gave him abnormal strength. The only who can compete with a titan shifter’s strength are the Ackermans. They were created to defeat a titan shifter or a pure titan. 
He watched how Floch’s eyes widen with fear. The coward forgot not to pissed off a titan shifter like Eren Jaeger. 
“T-that’s not what she told me. She thought you and her were together.” The other growled.” 
“And you believe her? You know what, don't answer that. Like I said, there was no us between me and Belia so you can tell her to stop with her lies and tell everyone we’re together. She’s too delusional.” Eren scoffed and dropped Floch as he wouldn't waste his time on Floch nor whatever Belia had been telling the Jaegerists. He should have not pursued sleeping with Belia in the first place. It’s one of the main reasons he distanced himself from her. She’s just batshit crazy. 
“Of course, she is my cousin, you fucker.” Floch coughed while being on the ground. 
Eren didn’t bother to give him attention. He kept walking to find Zeke. Finally, he entered Zeke’s study room which Nathaniel provided him when their alliance was formed. He knocked on the door to hear his brother to tell him enter. His hand turned the knob to open the door and saw Yelena there. It’s rare to see Zeke without Yelena being with him. Even when Eren needed to have a private discussion, she was always there. It irritated him. 
“Ah little brother. I’m glad you’re finally here. Make yourself comfortable.” Zeke glanced to see Eren entering. 
Eren goes to lean against the wall instead of sitting on a chair. He waits for Zeke to say whatever it was. 
“Eren, had you visited Ymir through the Path lately?” Zeke said. 
“No, I haven’t. She has been quiet lately, but I will try tomorrow night.” The younger Jaeger brother said. 
“That’s strange. She usually keeps in contact with you. Yes, try again when you can. You should wear something formal for the ball, little brother.” Zeke was already dressed in his suit for the ball. His mask was laying on the desk. 
Yelena was for once wearing a dress and not a suit like she usually does whenever she attended a social event. Her dress was surprisingly shiny where the flowers pattern spread from the top to the bottom of the gown. Probably, Zeke convinced her to wear something nice for this ball. She was already wearing her mask. 
“I’ll think about going to the ball or not.” He said. 
“Ah come on Eren. Live a little. You need to have fun once in your lifetime. You dance or flirt with some pretty girl at the ball. Maybe take Belia with you. I heard you two have been very familiar with each other alone.” Zeke grinned. 
The dark hair titan holder scoffed when he mentioned Belia. He will have a talk to her. This was all a misunderstanding. If Natasha hears any of these rumors, his chance with her will be over. That’s something he can’t allow. He won’t let anyone come between him and her and their unborn child. 
He pushed himself off from the wall. “Is that all you wanted to talk about?” 
Zeke noticed how his brother got irritated when he mentioned Belia. What Eren doesn’t know? He had spied on him and the handmaiden girl, Eveline Potts. It makes all sense how Eren behaves around her. His eyes were full of love and compassion. Something he had never seen his little brother act. This had worried him since there’s a chance his brother might not go with their plan. There’s two alternative plans both Zeke and Yelena could do. Either offer Eren to let his child born if he continues the plan or cause an accidental death of Eveline Potts. Something Levi's words had sunk in his mind. His little brother is a hot blooded man and he did spend so much time with Eveline, but he also spent time with Belia. Maybe he should ask Yelena to check if Belia is not with a child too. Zeke will only let one child from his brother exist. 
“Yes, we are done here. You can go now. Oh, if you do have fun tonight make sure you are extremely careful. You don’t want to end up having some poor bastard child born into this hateful world.” He said. 
This made Eren’s hand shaken on the doorknob. He was now suspicious what his older brother meant by that? Maybe it was nothing since he had once slept with Belia many times. Yeah, that’s what Zeke meant.
“Don’t worry about that. I am careful.” Eren opened the door then walked out. He shut the door. He was panicking inside. Does Zeke find out about Natasha and the baby? Damn it. He should have made Natasha leave with Rick, Levi, and Reggie. Fuck what Rico and the others will say. His growing family’s safety is his main priority. Guess he’ll be going to the ball to talk to her about leaving the palace. 
When Eren reached his room, he saw a suit already laid out for him to wear. Next to it was a mask for the ball. He sighed then began to get ready for the ball. 
(Eve/Natasha)
Earlier that night as the ball had just begun, Eve finished getting ready as she put on the emerald earring studs her grandmother let her borrow for the night. For the final touch she slipped the ring that Eren proposed to her. His mother’s ring was perfect for the dress she was wearing. It’s too controversial, but the Templars wanted to bring a modern lifestyle to this island. Let’s see if the crowds are ready for her entrance. Natasha is a Stark and the Starks are the center of the attention. Tonight, she is the late Tony Stark’s granddaughter. 
After being ready, she went to Historia’s chamber, who gasped seeing how beautiful Eve looked. Eve blushed from receiving praises from her own grandmother. Of course, Eve complimented Historia’s gown. She looked like a queen in her own rights. 
“Are you ready, your majesty?” Eve said. Historia gave a smile and nodded. 
“I am. Let’s leave. The guests should arrive by now.” The blonde woman came out of her bedroom and saw a few of her ladies chatting excitedly about the ball. One of them was Belia who happened to be a Jaegerist. What Natasha researched on Belia? She is the daughter of some lord and a mistress who’s related to Floch. Basically, both Olivia and Floch are cousins. That woman had given Eve hateful glares. It doesn’t bother the female Ackerman, but it all makes sense how they resemble each other. 
At the moment, Eve ignores her and focuses on the queen. The queen was in lead. Eve was almost next to her but a few inches behind her the rest of the ladies were behind Eve. She won’t be surprised if they all were offended in why the queen allowed a handmaiden in front of them who are noble blood. Eve may have royal blood but this time era no one knows beside Eren. By the time, they all entered the ballroom. People made eye contact with them, especially when the queen had arrived at the scene. The guests praised the queen on how beautiful and elegant she looks tonight. The brunette could hear the noble ladies were giggling and enjoying the attention they are also getting. Natasha was walking like the ballroom floor was the runaway. She may not have been a model but she was a fast learner whenever she had attended a Fashion show with her nana long ago. 
The queen began to greet the guests along with this guy Gilbert. Eve was quiet waiting patiently for the queen to be finished greeting. Meanwhile, she observed the crowd. She spotted Eren all the way at the hallways before entering the ballroom. He’s probably busy dealing with whatever a Jaegerist does. Finally, the greeting was over and Historia gave her ladies including her a dismissal for them to enjoy the event. 
Now, Eve goes to find her friend and his girlfriend. They were supposed to be here by now. As she was browsing through the crowds, some men had their eye on her. She can see the way they look at her like she’s some prize to possess. Eve noticed she was not the only one wearing a controversial outfit. Oh god, she hopes they don’t come towards her to ask for a dance. Just when luck was not on her side, a man approached her with confidence while sipping a glass of champagne. Wonderful. She is craving for a glass or more of champagne. 
“Hello you, majestic beauty. I haven’t seen you before. Shall I be your first to dance?” He smirked. The pregnant woman was about to reject the man but a certain obnoxious woman decided to step in for her. 
“Yes, she would love to dance with you, my lord.” Belia pushed her towards the nobleman which he caught her from falling. Eve can feel his hands on her waist. The heiress glared at the other woman who had a smirk. 
The man dragged her to the dance floor. Eve observed how the people are dancing. It looks like waltz so she positioned herself to dance. His hand gripped on her hip which he was supposed to place it on her back. She glared at the man. 
“Hey you’re supposed to have your hand here.” She removed his hand from her hip to place it on her back. 
“I do apologies, my lady. It seems my hand has a mind of its own.” He grinned. 
“Huh right.” She rolled her eyes but started to waltz around the dance floor. The music was playing as she danced with this stranger. 
While she was dancing, partners were switched to the nearest pair. Eve was dancing to another stranger then once again she was switched. 
“Ms. Potts, what a delight to see you here?!” Zeke smiled as he led the dance. 
“Oh hello Mr. Jaeger. Yes, I finally decided to come to the ball.” She said. 
“I’m glad you decided to come. You look beautiful like a butterfly. I’m sure you have already got some suitors wanting to dance with you.” He smirked. Zeke noticed her gown was revealed on both her legs and shoulders. Even he can’t help how irresistible she looks tonight. His brother has a good taste. It’s a shame. She’s taken by his little brother. The way her dress was tight around her body, it seems she isn’t showing yet of her pregnancy. 
“Thank you and you look handsome as a bird?” Eve couldn’t tell what kind of mask Zeke was wearing. 
“It’s a peacock.” Zeke said. 
“Ohhh I see now because of the feathers.” She said. 
“Miss Potts, I’ve always been curious about where you're from?” Zeke wanted to fish for as much information from her.
“Where I’m from?” This caught her off guard. “I’m from Trost District. I’m curious why this interests you?” She felt a bit suspicious on why Zeke wanted to know where she’s from. 
“It’s the way you behave towards people. It’s not how a native of this island acts. I know you’re not from Marley or other nations where Eldians are being segregated.” Zeke said. 
“And where do you assume where I’m from, Mr. Jaeger?” Her brow raised up as she suspected where this would lead. 
Just when he was about to answer, Floch interrupted their conversation. “Zeke, you don’t mind if I steal this gorgeous creature?” 
“No, you can dance with her.” Zeke said, feeling disappointment their conversation was interrupted. He let go of Eve and bow to end their dance. “It was a pleasure to dance with you. Miss Potts.” Zeke left her with Floch which she was not pleased being alone with this creep. 
Floch already grabbed her hand and placed his on her lower back close to her bottom. He led the dance as a different song was playing. It was a bit faster to waltz. 
“What do you want now, pig?” She hiss at him. 
“I suggest you don’t make a scene. You’ll embarrass yourself in front of this stuck up rich and noble people.” Floch glared.
“Apparently kicking your ass once wasn;t enough for you to leave me alone.” She cynically responded. 
“Listen bitch. It wouldn’t get to that point that night if you give in. I would have made you crave my touch.” He leaned in to whisper seductively. 
This guy doesn’t have any self respect or to anyone if he thinks she’ll just let him do whatever he pleases. “You’re full of yourself if you believe I’ll beg for you to fuck me? Why are you so stubborn to want me? There are other ladies who gossip in wanting to get fucked by you.” She scowled. 
“Because you’re the mysterious woman every man in this palace wants to have. I will be the first to have that taste before any other man. Beside, that dress; you’re making it difficult not to ignore you.” Floch’s eyes stared up and down slowly. She felt he was undressing her with his eyes. How repulsive he was to her? 
“I’m not some sex object for you to keep being persistent like a child who doesn;t get what he wants.” She was about to free herself when a familiar voice cut in. 
“Floch, you heard the woman. She has no interest in you.” Eren placed his hand on Floch’s shoulder which the red haired man flinched cowardly. 
“Fuck off, Eren. She just hasn't been with a real man.” Floch tries to be brave and not let Eren take this woman too.
Eren ignored Floch’s hostility as he preferred to give his attention to Natasha. “Eveline, may I have this dance?”  
She gave a warm smile to her lover. Yes, she may be mad at his actions from a week ago but seeing him here may her heart beat fast. He always has a way to make her melt and he doesn’t try to do anything. 
“Yes, you may have a dance with me, Eren.” To free herself from Floch’s grip, she stomped his foot a bit hard to cause him hiss from pain. He let her go and Eren grabbed her hand to pull her away from him. 
Both couples left Floch alone as they headed away. Eve sighed in relief. “Thank you for saving me from not kicking his ass again.” She said.
“Again? He- oh it was you who gave him those bruises? What did he do to you?” Eren realized she was the woman who caused Floch pain for a week. 
“Let’s not talk about it. We’re at a ball. Let’s enjoy ourselves tonight, my love?” She doesn’t want a fight to break out if Eren finds out what Floch had tried to do with her that week ago. 
Of course, Eren sensed she was deflecting his question and became insistent. “Babe, tell me what did he do to you? Did he try to hit on you?” Eren’s tone was getting a bit aggressive yet it was low enough for only them to have a private conversation. 
“Eren, please can we talk about it after tonight? I promise I will tell you, tomorrow. I know you will cause a scene and fight him which the ball will be ruined.” Eve pleaded with him. 
Eren scoffed annoyingly but accepted her plea. “Fine, but tomorrow promise you will tell me then I will happily kick his ass.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh my hero.” Her tone was sarcastic. 
He smirked and leaned into her ear. “I can be more than just your hero. “ His tone was husky. Eve felt her body getting warm from how it reacted from his tone. 
Damn it her pregnancy hormones are acting up. She had read it’s possible that pregnancies can cause sex drive but randomly. She took a better look at what he was wearing. He wasn’t wearing a suit like other men were wearing tonight. 
“Why aren’t you wearing a suit?” She asked. 
“Oh, Zeke or Yelena had chosen an outfit for me but I used a black dress shirt that I bought earlier and a black dress pants. I picked the devil mask cause it represented me.” He said. 
She does see the horns from his mask. He does look like the devil which it made more difficult for Natasha not to make it obvious she desires him right now. They danced the fun happy music until it’s over. 
The group on the dancefloor clapped. Eren noticed the ring Eve was wearing on her finger. He gently grabbed her hand and smiled. “I’m happy that you’re wearing my mother’s ring. You make it look beautiful. And your dress. You love making people eye on you huh?” He teased her. 
“It goes with the earrings. That’s why I’m wearing it tonight.” Eve said. She was trying not to give him ideas of him being forgiven. Her fingers playing with the ring on her other finger. This jewel had gone through so much and yet it still looks good as new. 
Eren couldn’t help himself to brush a strand of hair from her elegant loose lower bun hairstyle. He carefully observes every detail of her. 
“What are you thinking, my love?” he whispered to her. 
“I am thinking of wanting a glass of champagne.” Her lips pouted when her steel eyes glanced at a waiter carrying a tray of glasses of champagne. Eren chuckled how adorable she looks. 
“You know you’re not allowed to. It’s bad for the baby.” He still whispered. She groaned and rested her head on his chest. 
“It would be simple if I feel repulsive like most of the foods I eat. Seriously, your kid doesn’t let me enjoy meals without throwing up.” Eve peeked up at Eren. 
“You should tell the kitchen staff to serve you mashed potatoes with lemon water. It will help the food go down to your stomach and the water will stop the nausea whenever you eat.” Eren said. 
Eve was amazed how Eren knew this vile information. “Where do you learn from?” 
“Remember my dad was a doctor? Sometimes as a kid I used to go with him to see his patients including Mikasa’s mother when she was pregnant.” He explained. 
“Oh right. Hmm, would you be a doctor if you didn’t choose to be a soldier to fight the titans?” In the background, a new song was playing to dance slowly which both pairs danced together. Eren held her hand to spun her gracefully. Once she spun, Eren pulled her against his body. 
“Probably or I might be a military doctor instead.” He admired the way her dress flowed when she spun around. 
“But instead you chose to fight alongside.” Natasha said. Eren nodded. Both remained quiet as they danced. 
“Wait for me here. I have a request to make to the musicians.” Eren whispered to her ear. She nodded but was curious what kind of request he would ask of them.
Eren let go of her then walked away from the dance floor. Eve was alone as others around her danced to the soft music. At first it felt awkward standing around alone until the music had changed to a melody that it sounds familiar but doesn’t remember where she had heard this song. It felt time had stopped and only saw Eren walking towards the dance floor. She noticed the dance floor was empty. Her thoughts wonder how she is going to dance this song which sounds medieval only a touch modern.  
“What song did you tell them to play?” Eve asked him. 
“Volta.” He said. 
Natasha didn’t know how she knew the dance moves to Volta but her legs began to carry her away. She danced around him in a way seducing her partner to dance with her. His emerald eyes focus on her. Once she made a few dance steps around him, he bowed mockingly. Natasha smirk then curtsy  to him. Her arm reached out for Eren to grab on. Natasha moved towards him but stopped as she held his arm. She slid her hand down to his hand. The heiress let go of his hand to dance around him but much closer. 
Eren could feel her warm alluring presence as his eyes watched her like a predator. Her dress flows from the twirls. Her legs exposed as she showed her dancing skill. In his eyes, he was looking at the temptress that seduced him from his once destiny to cause chaos to save humanity and his people. Eve was charismatic and mysterious which had intrigue some of the men in the palace. That irritated Eren by listening to them talking about his woman. Then his train of thoughts were interrupted as he felt Eve’s hand clap on to his front throat. She squeezed it but stroked up to his chin and held on to his jaw while her silver eyes gave off her seductive stare. Oh he knew what she wanted from him. Both could feel their lips hover teasingly. 
They can feel the desire and passion for each other as their dance turned into a battlefield of sexual tension. If it was possible, Eren would take her right here on the dance floor. He took a few steps forward making her take a few steps back. Their sights on each other haven’t broken once. The music begins to pick up the beat a bit fast. They may not hear the crowd excitedly watching them dancing, but they were aware of how their dance will give them something to talk about after the ball. 
Eren held her hand to spin her around then stopped her while her back was facing him. In the crowd, few faces watched with different expressions. Historia smirked with joy as she knew who was the person behind the devil mask dancing with her handmaiden. Zeke and Yelena had neutral expressions. On the other hand, Floch was making a distasteful expression. It didn’t take rocket science to know both Eren and Eve have a strong chemistry for each other. The red haired man glanced at his cousin who had a dark look. Belia understood why Eren had not given her divine attention. All this time he had someone and it was this lowly handmaiden. How dare this lowly harlot took what belongs to her. Just when Belia was thinking about the truth of these two, she noticed Eve made eye contact with her and gave a victory smirk. 
Belia’s mood became sour as she quickly snatched a glass of champagne from a waitress and gulped down furiously.  It looks like war had been declared between her and Eve. The noble woman didn’t bother to stay until the dance ended.
Natasha was pulled to have her back pressed onto Eren’s body as his hands moved to grope her breasts then slide down to her hips. She turned around to face him and took a few steps back to walk fast towards him and hop. Eren lifted her to have her legs wrapped around his waist while he spun both of them around. He places her down but holds on to her arm when both spin together again. He made her spin towards her to latch his hands onto her waist. Natasha could feel his warm breath on her ear which makes it hard to stay composed. She heard him whisper something huskily but her trance of euphoria prevented her from understanding what he said. Whatever he said, she instantly nodded. Once again he lifts her up but a bit higher and spins around. Eve was lifted up in a lying position until he let her down. Her hand movement was elegant and graceful and she was placed down.  Both intertwined their arms to have their hand pressed together while spinning slow. Carefully, his arm snaked around her waist as she leaned back to arch her body. He let his fingers to caresses from her neck down to her breasts. Finally, one last turn to Eve facing away from him but their bodies pressed each other. Her face was tilted away while regaining her breath from their intense dance. As the music stopped, the crowd applauded and cheered for them for the entertainment they provided. Their trance was broken when reality abrupted their own world. Both pulled away from each other and smiled at the crowd. 
Eve leaned to him to whisper. “Meet me outside by the hall that’s connected to the royal garden.” Just like that the Eldian-American left Eren alone. He gave her a smirk and waited until she disappeared from his view. Once a few minutes passed, the titan holder make way to meet his lady. 
(Eren)
The night sky was clear with stars twinkling. The weather was cool. Eren walked through the open hallway outside of the palace. He saw her leaning against the big pillar by the edge of the garden. The emerald eyes man walked towards his lover. She was still wearing her mask. Eren lifted up her mask to see her face completely. 
“You took a little long.” Eve said while she pulled him to her. Her lips crashed against his to passionately kiss him. In response to her aggressiveness, he pinned her to the hard surface pillar. His hand groped her thigh to lift up and place on his hip. Both lovers breathe heavy from the fiery intensity for each other. His fingers brushes on her exposing thigh then down to her leg and up back to the thigh. Eve let out an erotic moan. Eren smirks from her reaction. 
He breaks away from their kiss to sloppy kiss down on her neck to the valley of her breasts. He noticed her breasts looked  bigger than what he remembered. His hand pulled down the top of her dress to have her breasts free. Eren cupped one of them to greedily latch on to her nipple and suckling. Eve’s eyes widen while whimpering from how sensitive her nipples are from the changes of her pregnant body. It may hurt but the adrenaline and lust she felt turned into pleasure. Her hand stroked his dark brown hair then gripped harshly the move he sucked and pulled her nipples. 
“E-eren, which room is the closest?” She tried to form a sentence as her moans were increasing. 
“Mmmm my room is not that far from here.” His voice became raspy. 
“Take me there.” She mewls when his finger makes way where her wet core is. 
Eren chuckled how demanding she was being when she was at his mercy. “What’s wrong here? The night sky looks perfect for a passionate love making.” Just like the devil, he encouraged her to give in right here. His finger circles her clitoris teasingly. He could feel the amount of slick she produced. She was probably wet when they were dancing the Volta. He let his thumb attend to her clit while his two fingers entered into her hole to finger in a slow teasing pace. Natasha closed her eyes as she took in the pleasure he was giving. Her hips buck to rock against his fingers. 
“Dollface, if you can contain yourself  while I taste you, we’ll go to my room to resume our fortification.” He said then Eren pulled his fingers out to suck on them. She never disappoints him with how delicious she tastes. 
He kneel down to the ground and place her leg on his shoulder. Her back leaned comfortably as her eyes gazed down to watch him lifting the hem of the dress. She bit down her lips when his tongue stroked her core. Subconsciously, her hand gripped and pulled his hair while he feast between her legs. This will be harder than she expected for her not making any noises. He continues to ravish her until a wave of orgasm rush into her. A small whimper escaped from her lips which Eren pulled away from her core then got up to take a look at his work. Her face was flushed while her chest rose up and down from regaining her breath. Her hair came undone. He felt satisfied in leaving her like this. His hands help pull down her dress. He helped tucked her breasts back into the top of her dress. 
“Can you walk to my room?” He gave her a grin. 
She glared playfully then smirked. “Of course I can.” 
With that, both of them quickly walked to Eren’s room to finish off what they had started. 
(Alexander) 
He picked up his phone while it rang. Once the phone was answered, a breathless man began to speak. 
“Sir, Subject 18 had escaped.” The Grandmaster frowned at this news. 
“How did you let that happen? Your job was to make sure Subject 18 was locked with tight security. You have failed me. I will immediately take a leave back to Paradis. Once I arrive, you better find the culprit who let him escape.” His tone was dark as this news had ruined a perfect day in his villa home in Italy. Alexander hung up and sipped his wine trying to calm down. He will need another descendant to complete data if they can’t find Levi to bring him back. If his theory was true, the Eve had led the revolution to free humanity. With her memories, he could find a particular item to dominate the world. 
A/N: If you guys needed an idea how the Volta dance looks like, I use the one in The Tudors where Anne and Henry danced together in a small gathering. You can find it on YouTube. Other than that, enjoy this chapter. 
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meganshinsou-tm · 4 years
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Vermilion. (m)
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↳ chapter one: ridin the struggle bus
❧ genre:  pro-hero’s bakugou/kirishima, poly, happy ending
❧ chapter warnings: none
[multi-chap masterlist] [next chapter]
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You sighed upon looking at the stack of paperwork that awaited you on your desk, sitting down with a huff and grabbing a pen. 
You had just started working at the same agency the former Symbol of Peace, All Might, once worked at about 2 months ago. Graduating at the top of your class from UA, All Might himself helped to get you the job. He seemed to take a liking to you and took you under his wing after his own mentee Izuku Midoriya had graduated a year before you.
You gladly took the job, hoping it would be exactly what you needed to jump-start your hero career, but just like everyone else, you had to start at the bottom and work your way up, which mostly meant lots of days and nights being the office dog. So to say you were a little bit stressed and overwhelmed at the moment was an understatement.
On top of work, living on your own wasn’t at all what you had hoped for. Not being part of all the action and major hero missions, meant your pay wasn’t the best and it was a struggle trying to get bills paid on time and still have enough left over to feed yourself.
Speaking of feeding yourself, the organ nestled inside your belly was growling relentlessly. You dropped the pen in your hand as your head fell onto the desk and your arms wrapped around your waist, groaning.
“Paperwork again?”
A cheery voice asked from behind you, you could hear someone rustling through the papers that were scattered across the desk. You knew that voice, not bothering looking up.
“Well of course Red, I live for this shit!” You mumbled into the cool wood of the desk, feeling it fog beneath your lips.
“Need help,” he asked.
Finally, you lifted your head and looked at the man talking to you, he was wearing a hoodie and some black shorts, which usually meant he just came back from patrolling the city and was heading home for the day. Your hands dismissed him, head shaking with soft eyes.
“Oh no Kiri, you look like you’re on your way out. There’s no telling what you had to do today, I’m not gonna add on to that!”
Kirishima chuckled and flashed you an enormous sharp toothed grin that made the corners of his red eyes crinkle and made your heart stop. “ So cute, ” you screamed internally.
“I was just patrolling today and there was no action. Plus, I don’t have any plans, just waiting on Bakugou to get off so we can go grab some food before heading home!”
You couldn’t help but smile back and thank him immensely as he grabbed a chair and sat next to you.
Oh yeah, there was a perk to working where you did, and that was Eijirou Kirishima and Katsuki Bakugou. You knew of them before hiring on at the agency, since you all attended the same school and they were only a year ahead of you. Every now and then you’d bump into each other in the hallways, Kirishima would apologize repeatedly while Bakugou would growl. Unknown to you though, you seemed to catch the pairs attention during their last Sports Festival, when you finished in 1st place during your 2nd year. Your quirk and strength alone amazed them, and it didn’t help that you were incredibly cute, which Kirishima would admit to but Bakugou would try to deny it.
So when Kiri found out that you would be joining the team at their own agency, he was more than stoked to get to know you more. That meant, staying late nights and helping with the paperwork that everyone else seemed to pile on you, and helping you on errands and coffee runs. It never bothered him a bit though, it only meant that he got to spend time with you alone and learn more about you.
Bakugou on the other hand had mixed feelings. You caught his attention during his last year, but his goal to become #1 was more important than some girl. When he found out from an overly excited Kirishima that the same girl that piqued his interest only a year ago would once again be coming back into his life, he didn’t know if he was excited or annoyed. When you weren’t doing paperwork or other duties, he’d catch you in the agency’s gym training alone. Your quirk and power drew him back in like it did before and out of nowhere he offered to train with you. At first it was just so he could see exactly what you were capable of, sizing you up, but it slowly grew to him genuinely enjoying the time with you. You never held back against him and always kept him on his toes, which he loved.
So yeah, work wasn’t exactly hell, you did have the friendship of two really amazing guys, who were also very easy on the eyes if you had to admit. It goes without saying, a lot of flirting went on between the three of you, making your heart do flips for both of them. The two were extremely close, and you really admired the bond they had with each other, and you were beyond grateful to have their help. Especially right now, as you and Kirishima worked through the stack of papers together rather quickly. Here and there your fingers would brush against each other or your faces would come into close proximity as you’d explain what information goes where, causing a blush to cross your cheeks and making him struggle when he talked. You loved the effect you had on one of the cities manliest heroes, always seeming to make him melt with just a bat of your lashes.
A few more minutes went by until the mountain of papers were gone. You sighed and laid your head on Kirishima’s shoulder beside you, making him tense at first but quickly relax.
“Thank you so much Kiri, not only for tonight but for all the other nights you’ve stayed behind to help me. You really are my hero!”
Kirishima chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, then craned his head forward to look at your face. “It’s no problem (Y/N), honestly. I was in the same position when I first started so I know how overwhelming it can be. But, I’ll let you in on a secret. I’ve been hearing around the office that you’ll be going on your first sidekick mission soon!”
Your head immediately shot up from his shoulder and looked at him with a smile and wide eyes, but quickly that hint of happiness turned sour as your eyes dulled and your smile dissipated.
“Yeah right, apparently I'm only good enough for paperwork and coffee!”
Kirishima frowned at the lack of belief in yourself when he believed in you so much. The red-head then chuckled and placed his finger on your chin, making you look into his crimson eyes.
“You’re incredibly strong (Y/N) and All Might himself recommended you. If I had it my way, you would’ve been out there with me immediately instead of stuck here with paperwork!”
You felt a blush cross your cheeks as his red eyes gazed into your own. After all the relentless flirting between the two of you, you could never get over how sweet he was. You realized that his hand hadn’t moved from your chin as his thumb brushed your jaw. Your eyes wandered to his lips that looked surprisingly soft; he noticed and looked at your lips as well. They were now parted and plump, tinted with a blush colored lipstick, the only type of makeup he ever noticed you wearing and it was taking everything he had to resist touching them.
"Kiri - " your voice spoke softly, breaking the silence between you.
“Oi, the fuck are you two doing?” A loud and brash voice broke the moment, making the two of you jump back from each other, a red tint crossing your faces. “Tch, can’t finish your own paperwork princess?”
"And queue Katsuki Bakugou," your mind cursed. Quickly recovering from the sudden intrusion, you crossed your arms leaning on the desk and looked at the ash blond in front of you. “You’re just jealous I didn’t ask for your help, Baka-gou!”
“What the fuck did you just call me you little –“
“Hey buddy, finally done,” a cheerful Kirishima cut off.
The red-head was always the peacekeeper when it came to you and Katsuki, trying his best to put out the flames between the two of you before they emerged into enormous uncontrollable fires. Sure the explosive hero had his good days with you, but that didn’t mean he still wasn’t an asshole at times, but - you loved to push his buttons.
“Yeah, I’m fucking starving, now let’s go!” Katsuki replied as he turned on his heels to walk out.
Kirishima went to get up but turned to face you with another smile, “Wanna tag along (Y/N)? We’re gonna stop and grab some food before we go home.”
“No she doesn’t!” Bakugou suddenly growled as he turned around and glared at you.
You glared back with a smug grin and stood up, “I’d love to!”
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useless12sstuff · 3 years
Text
Short stories #3
. 3 Above and Beyond
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Trudging through the woods, I try to place the majority of my weight on my makeshift cane. Squinting my eyes, I try to keep sight of my path. The moon is of barely any help. If I had known it would be dark I would've snuck out a torch. Pulling my coat tighter around myself and wishing, not for the first time, that I should've worn something warmer above my hospital gown. I buried my nose in my scarf and yet, the crisp air still burned down my lungs. If my cigarettes don't kill me first, the cold certainly will. 'You shouldn't be here', the guilty part of my brain whispered. I squashed that thought down just like the leaves under my feet. Silly Linda, I scoff. She thought she could keep me in the ward by locking the door. Well look now, I jumped out the window. Well the pangs in my leg are almost making me regret. Almost. Oh whatever. To hell with Linda and her false pretenses. She can act sweet and coy all she likes but I know she wants me dead. Not more than I do but it is a mutual sentiment that is reciprocated. She's far too young anyway. A bit naive and very gullible. Very overconfident too but she is under the assumption that she's being 'smart' and 'sharp' and that an old, miserable midget like me won't be able to see right through her. An absolute fool. I despise it here.
I hobble my way to my usual spot, a clearing somewhere in the middle of the woods. The crescent moon stares down at me, as if judging. Sitting down on a tree stump while catching my breath, I pull out a pack of cigarettes that Linda missed and a lighter from my coat pocket. A cold draft rushed and rustled the trees and I held my coat tighter, shivering badly. With numb hands I light a cigarette and hold the lighter close, the tiny flame giving me a semblance of warmth. Sigh. I wouldn't want the fluid to run out. I pocketed it, closed my eyes and enjoyed my cigarette. Deep inhale and then exhale. Inhale and exhale. Finally, some peace and quiet….
…. Which did not last longer than twenty minutes. A sharp, whip like crack sobered me up and I opened my eyes to a terrifying sight. A creature with four faces, more than a hundred wings, taller than the trees, so huge that I can't distinguish the sky from its body. The moon is nowhere in sight. His whole body consists of uncountable eyes and tongues. What on God's green earth is this!? I can't move. Why am I not moving? Its hellish eyes stared me down. The cigarette I was holding had long fallen. I am a stone, glued to one place. I can't tear my eyes off this- this creature. All too soon, it descends and shifts into a shape more recognizable. A man. Dressed in a pure white robe, inky hair curled in every direction, skin the color of rich soil and piercing charcoal eyes, this man would stand out among any crowd. I must be hallucinating. Are cigarettes supposed to make you hallucinate?
"What kind of alien are you?" I asked in a quivering voice.
The man blinked. Then blinked again. Then stared at me long enough to make me wish I hadn't spoken.
"What kind do you think I am?" he smoothly replies, evading my question.
"A shape-shifting one."
He folds his hands neatly behind his back and doesn't reply.
"And who would you introduce yourself as?" he asks. I have a distinct feeling that he's humouring me. Like a cat who caught a canary.
"I, well, I-uhm-I fancy myself a student." I stuttered out. He doesn't need to know where I am from.
"A student of?"
"Life."
The alien smirked. An uncomfortable silence surrounds us, uncomfortable for me atleast. I feel weaker. Sweat beads at my eyebrows. This alien's presence has a weight that is taking a toll on me.
With nothing to do, I whip out another cigarette. I finished smoking it. Then I pull out a second, then a third, then a fourth.
"How long have you been smoking?" the alien asks suddenly.
"A few decades." I say, lighting another cigarette. A hush falls again.
"How do you speak our language?" I inquired, anything to keep the oppressive silence at bay.
"I've been here before."
"Oh?" I ask, hoping for an elaboration.
"Yes."
None came.
"What is it like?"
He raised an eyebrow.
"Your planet. What is it like?"
"It is a human's dream come true. You can have whatever your heart desires. Food, clothing, land, companions. It is eternal peace-"
"Sounds like heaven." I interrupted.
The alien's lips quirked.
"Something of that sort. It can be very beautiful or very terrible depending on the person."
"Why so?"
"Would you wish for good things to happen to evil people?"
"No. Not at all."
"My point exactly."
"What is evil anyway? Is evil caused by a difficult life?You know, I've always wondered."
The alien calmly looks back at me.
"Have you had a sorrowful life?" he asks, a curious gleam in his eyes.
"Sorrowful?" I scoff. "I can barely recognize myself in the mirror anymore. A saying goes 'Let a man walk the halls of sorrow. Whatever comes out, can it be called a man anymore?' " I asked.
"Sorrow is either growth or wasted potential if you have not learned. Power on the other hand, man cannot be trusted with power. It is too corrupting." the alien argues.
"I'll have to politely disagree. Power in itself is not corrupt. Power attracts those who are corruptible. Those who took the wrong lessons from their sorrows."
"And what about you?"
"What about me?"
"You have become a cynic only because you felt your life was difficult. Your cigarette is proof enough. It kills you, yet, you stick to it. Doesn't that make you just like them?"
"You are not a human. You don't, and maybe, will never, understand the delicate intricacy of addiction. I am not defending myself. I am ashamed but leaving it is no easy task."
The alien hummed," If you believe so. You are quite a melancholic person." he says, matter of fact.
"So I've been told." I smiled self deprecatingly, "Look at me, debating about ideologies with an alien."
The alien smirked, as if he was in on a joke I wasn't. Strange.
I cleared my throat. It felt itchy. Must've been the cigarettes.
"Anyway,how does your planet deal with 'evil' people."
"You need not worry your head over it. Our, ah, justice system is very fair."
"Oh. Where is it located? Your planet that is."
"Not here. It is somewhere above all the galaxies."
That most certainly piqued my interest. I have wished for death on my worst days but on my best days, I've always been a curious bug, too curious for my own good. I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"Why are you here?" I finally cave in to my curiosity.
The alien side eyes me and replies, "I'm here to take one person home with me. Forever."
A thrill raced up my spine and anticipation settled in my bones. I licked my frozen, chapped lips. Perhaps I am being selfish. I spent my entire life looking for an escape, an escape from everything, my depression, my poverty, my disease, that hospital and its disinfectant smelling wards, Linda, this wretched world. That is an artist's curse. Escapism, they say, is an art too and I am anything but unacquainted to art. I always wondered about what was beyond, a place where no man had stepped. The golden threads of time, weaved into the fine fabric of the universe, permitted this opportunity to occur in front of me. I will take it even if my hands bleed.
I have no family that left, nobody who loves me. I'm bitter and alone. I deserve to be selfish for once in my life. To take a big leap, a risk. Yes, I will.
"Take me with you." I begged. "Please."
"Why should I?" the alien replied, staring right in my soul.
"You came for me. I know. If you didn't you wouldn't have landed here." I say, hopefully.
"And if I say that is false? What else would you offer?“
"I can offer you beauty and art. I can create for you."
"We have many of those."
"There will ever only be one like me. Just like there is only one artist like them. Themselves only."
Silence enveloped us again while rejection stung my chest again.
"Allow me to prove myself." I plead.
The alien looked at me, questioning.
"Look in my mind, see all that there is." I say determinedly. And I let him in my mind, let him see the world through my eyes and feel what I felt. I let him see my arts, my music, my poetry, my paintings that I crafted lovingly with my aged hands. I let him see what a human sees, something I know that he had never witnessed. Then I revealed my sorrows. Hopefully humanity would appeal to it.
With a pull he left my head. My eyes burned and I felt a blood vessel burst. I dry heaved on the dead ground but the nausea still lingered. I am glad I was seated or my knees would've buckled and I would've been an undignified heap on the floor. All the while the alien just stared and stared. I am getting sick of his staring too.
Once again, I broke the silence.
"I will paint your skies," I continue, hesitantly, "and your buildings and walls. I will write for the children and even for the old. Just please, take me. I'm exhausted ."
My eyes burned again, unshed tears waiting for release. I avert my eyes and let out a sigh. I feel heavy and my shoulders slump. Unexplainable exhaustion overcomes me and my temperature keeps rising, beads of sweat rolling down my face.
"If," he began,then stopped. It was the first time in our entire conversation that I saw him hesitate.
"If," he continued, "if I were to ask you to scream your wish at me, what would you fear more; your echo or my answer? “
"My echo", I reply instantaneously.
"Why?"
"Because it would mean you have declined."
"Hmm. Recite a poem for me."
I gave a shaky, hopeful smiled and offered him my words:
My river by the oak tree
has turned molten gold again,
as the glowing orb of light and life surrenders to the sapphire sky.
The cotton clouds float in shy, pink circles
While the rush of the river awakens a memory I had long forgotten,
When this same tree once bore luscious flowers,
Their scent wafting lazily into the cool breeze,
While I sat and reminisced about the possibility of other lives in the universe,
Under the wrinkled, silver moon.
Silence hugged us again while the impact of my weakened voice lingered in the air.
"Do you believe in other lives? Aliens and such?" he questioned.
"Yes I do, I mean you are here so that confirms it too."
"You are a funny one. No one has ever mistaken me for an alien." it grinned, crooked, as if a gesture it wasn't familiar with.
My body went cold and tremors shook it to its feeble core, my breath coming out in shallow pants. My eyes shut down of their own accord. The entity then spoke with a voice that might have held the weight of a thousand suns,
"Beyond the stars we go."
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adjure · 5 years
Link
Summary: But he ain’t a greedy man— he just wants what he wants, and got the patience to back it up. 
Besides, he enjoys hearing you talk.
Rating: Explicit/R18+
Words: 4229
Warnings: Explicit smut, dirty talk, dom/sub undertones.
Taste of a Gun Barrel
Dust, sand and grit; none of it is complete without the thrills Outworld brings to the table, and Erron Black is right at home in the thick of it all. Not everybody thrives here the way he does, having to fight tooth and nail to survive.
Only winners make it home alive, or make a home at all.
So he’s the man, the myth, the legend— who just so happens to be an unapologetic gunslinger with a mouthful of snark at the tip of his tongue. A rebel with a questionable cause, a man whose fealty can be bought and sold at the right price; the one and only Erron Black.
You find him sitting there all lonesome, perched on a worn down boulder in front of his bell tent— to the farthest, quietest edge of the camp— cleaning the barrels of his guns. Right ankle resting on his left knee, revolver snug in his gloved hand, a handkerchief in the other. Outworld’s sunset gleams off the metal he’s holding and casts a shadow from his hat over his eyes.
Shame, you think. You’d love to have them on you instead.
“Busy?” Your voice catches his attention well enough— enough for Erron to peek a glance as you make your way over. He doesn’t linger long, tending back to his weapon a second later, though the hum of his voice is welcoming. His sideways lean, a wordless invitation. The cock of his head draws you in.
“Need anythin’, sugar?”
“Not really, I just missed you,” you answer, licking your lips, approving of the way he drawls his words.
Erron chuckles, and that’s all you need to slip your arms around his shoulders, swinging your legs to claim his lap as your seat. That draws him off his gun, lowering it to the side, lifting his face to regard you with a raised brow.
“Remember when we met for the first time?” you ask.
“How I gave you a good, thorough beatin’?” he guesses.
“You and I have very different recollections on what happened,” your breath ghosts over the shell of his ear, grinning against it, tightening your hold on him, “Mr. Black.” Fiddling with the tresses of hair at the back of his head, you continue, “How I remember it, I put you to the ground. You got real familiar with it.”
He’s always liked the way you chitter when you laugh, crowing when you’re pressed close to him, how your exhale is warm on his skin. Erron doesn’t mind how your heat melds with the dunes and desert’s; it’s getting colder anyway, now that the sky’s beginning to dusk. And his mask is the only thing separating his lips from your neck. Boy, does it tempt Erron to take the damn thing off his face to kiss you silly.
But he ain’t a greedy man— he just wants what he wants, and got the patience to back it up.
Besides, he enjoys hearing you talk.
“You name your guns?” you ask out of the blue, picking what he left behind. You know he doesn’t let just anybody touch his babies— seen him break someone’s arm when they tried to. But he sits there, perfectly content as you run your fingers along its body, admiring how much care has been poured through all these years.
What it’s gone through, whose blood it’s spilled, the lives it’s taken. Leaves a lot up to the imagination.
“I don’t name ‘em,” Erron lolls his neck, enjoying your display, a hand massaging the stiff muscles on his shoulder. “I know all of 'em by heart and touch. Don’t need any names, I ain’t a coot.”
Indulging your whims, you acknowledge his reply by lifting the gun to kiss it, leaving an imprint of your lips, and feel the man you’re leaning on tense as he watches you. Something about it pulls a rope in him taut, catching his attention faster, deeper by the second. Erron’s hand finds your chin, rough as the glove might be, he’s both careful and firm when he tilts your head towards his own.
“Now, what are you doin’?” Erron wonders, rasp in his speech. “I don’t recall letting you pucker your lips for my gun, let alone give her a big ol’ smooch.”
“Didn’t know I needed your permission.” You talk between teeth, blooming a lopsided smile that makes Erron still and slit his eyes— defiance in yours, wide open now. There’s an expression you’re all too familiar with, the same glaze, the same coveting gleam that mirrors your own. “Are you jealous, Mr. Black? Of your nameless gun?”
Yeah, he knows what he wants alright. And you don’t have to peer any further— the look he bears on you is more than enough.
But you decide to push your luck, test the waters, tucking the revolver into its holster nice and ginger. Your movements are slow, steady when you anchor your weight on him till your knees are on either sides of his thighs. Erron shifts underneath, planting both feet on the ground below, palms rough on your hips as you block the last remaining light that dies on your back.
It never reaches Erron and he basks under the darkness you’ve created with the sun’s halo drawing your outline. You see the deep heave, hear his breath hissing through the mask.
“I ain’t got nothin’ to be jealous of,” he squeezes, pressing you harder onto him till you’re snug up on his fatigues. “You’re mine.”
“Did you say the same thing to Nitara and Skarlet?” You’re closer now, nose barely an inch off his face, hands trailing upwards till they find the exposed skin of his neck.
“Was only in it with them for the thrill, baby doll.”
Your fingernails dig into where your they are resting and you hear Erron’s ragged inhale. It sounds almost like a yes when he exhales, a rumble telling you it’s good. Yes, because don’t stop, because he’s half hard and desperately tries to find some form of friction on you— a soft, “Shit,” followed by a dismayed grunt are all it takes for you to figure out it’s not enough.
Not for him, and not for you. Not with all these damn clothes in the way.
So you lean in, dragging your fingers, cradling his head to crane it up and towards you. Your mouth twists when you drag your teeth over your lower lip, the straddle of your legs on his puts him to a halt. Erron’s chest rises, falls, rises again, one toiling breath after the other.
“And what are you in for now, Mr. Black?”
“You make my heart flip flop all the damn time—”
A hushed curse slips from his mouth when you slope your neck to the side, staring him down, unclipping his mask. Erron feels his gut snag and drop the way it does when his opponent comes to close, when his finger barely manages to pull the trigger on the last second a little too narrow at the end of the timer between living and dying. His mask hovers in your hands, hiding his face still, but the way he swallows dryly doesn’t go unnoticed.
God, you’re fucking gorgeous.
“—Don’t think it’s stoppin’ any time soon.”
“It’ll be a bullet through your heart when it does stop,” you promise, putting the mask away, not caring whether it stays on the boulder or fall to the ground. Lips, touching Erron’s chapped ones, parting and closing as you tell against it, “And I’ll be the one to put it there.”
“Yes,” he groans, struggling to fight his eyes from fluttering shut when your gaze locks onto them. Erron’s efforts doesn’t last, admitting defeat by letting his lids fall. Brows knit together while fingers furl and roam up to your waist for a purchase at something, thighs rubbing against yours, his spine arching sweetly at the thought—
“Yes,” he repeats, breathless, caving in. “Yes Boss.”
And the great Erron Black comes apart in your hands, just like that.
You kiss him the way you know he likes it— with tongue and teeth, deep enough to leave a red bruise, leave them plump and swollen and tingling after. Erron kisses back, you toss his hat off, and his hands hoist you from under while yours tangle in his hair.
His scent is the way you remember it always being; of musk and leather, gunpowder and the sun with a hint of cedarwood fading in the roof of your mouth when you breathe in— you can almost taste it.
“Can I have you tonight?” he pleads, the uncharacteristic whisper shared only between the two of you. Only known to you. A hoarse confession decorated with a nip at your lips that you reward with a pleased sigh: “I’ve been thinkin’ about you, been wanting you. Touchin’ myself to you.”
“Tell me how you want it, Erron—” The sentence cuts before you finish his name and he swallows your honeyed laugh. Dances with your tongue, eager and starving for every drop of you he can get.
Erron’s kisses are hot and heavy; he kisses you again and you’re reminded of rifle bullets and the searing pain, except you feel no pain and it sears just the same. You slip your index between his teeth, parting away to fill your burning lungs, feel them sink into your flesh and slaver from well kissed lips coating your finger slick.
When you start talking between pants, he lets your finger go. Cupping his cheek with that same hand, you say, “Tell me— everything and I’ll give it all to you tonight… I’ll take good care of you tonight.”
“You’ll take good care of me tonight,” he echoes, strained, and shudders.
Erron buries his face into the crook of your neck and pulls you flush against him. There’s a soft, filthy moan muffled where his mouth presses when you roll your hips and grind through the fabric of his pants. And though it’s dulled, Erron’s presence is enough to make you teeter and shut your eyes.
“I want you to fuck me, ride me, fill me—” damp heat seeps between your legs, into your blood, crawling from the tips of your toes till they color your ears— “I want you to make a mess outta me, doll. Make a mess outta me.”
Erron’s growl does it. You tell him to go in the tent, spacious enough to accommodate two bodies, voice coarse, grating your throat and he finds himself walking backwards through the entrance with you on his arms. He laps at your jaw, suckles on it, your hands untangling all the belts that loop both your bodies, the zippers and the clips.
One by one, they fall on the floor— his poncho, bandoilers, and vest. Erron drops on his bum then to his back on the measly, makeshift bed with you looming above, ass sitting pretty on his still clothed bulge while you take your time unbuttoning his shirt.
He’s hot between your legs and it makes you squirm.
“Please,” Erron sighs, hips curving to the shape of yours, digging blunt nails in your thighs. His head rolls back, showing you what’s for the taking. You push your palms flat against his bare abs, past all the scars and dips you feel under your skin, moving your body along until your mouth finds his neck and thumbs find his nipples, rolling and flicking them. It elicits a series of pleased grunts from Erron, keening into your touch. Your intention is to make your mark on him, make sure it shows, to paint him in pretty shades of red and blue and mix them both.
Indigo will look good on him, especially side by side with the the marks of long gone throes.
South is your next destination, peppering bites and butterfly kisses along the way, already unbuckling his belt and pulling it off. His pants come off enough for you to press your nose on his briefs, his hands running through your hair lovingly as you put your tongue over the fabric that’s wet with his precum. Erron watches, lips parted, jolting when you run down from the tip of his length.
“Let me…” your fingers pause at the band of his underwear, and you turn a patient look into his eyes. Erron swallows. “Let me have a taste of you too, sweetheart. I want— I need it. I need it.”
“Atta boy,” you coo, kicking your shoes off, discarding garments in a haphazard manner as you crawl on all fours. Erron misses the way you press against his cock, but he doesn’t voice any complaints when he finds his face between your legs.
And the guy, you think, has the gall to whine when he drags in a breath full of your scent.
Nothing feels quite the same as the way Erron works his mouth, his tongue lavishly prodding and sucking on your undergarment where he hits a sweet spot that curls your toes. He asks for permission to take it off, and you agree, slithering your fingers to pull his briefs down and slip his length out. It’s hard now, in your hand, twitching and dripping.
Cold air hits your bare skin after he tugs away the measly fabric along your thighs; though Erron’s hot breath quickly replaces the night’s dropping temperature and you shiver at the contrast.
“Don’t keep me waiting,” you murmur.
You dip, mouth over the head of Erron’s cock, and you can feel his moan on your skin. Your head bobs as you pump him up and down, careful with your teeth. His moves tend along the rhythm you’ve set, thumb rubbing over your entrance as he zeroes in on where he knows it feels good with his mouth.
Relentless, and constant. The type that draws out soft groans and mindless praise from you.
Muscles flex under your stomach, so do his thighs from the corners of your eyes, tensing, his heels digging the ground. You curl up, free hand clawing at Erron’s jerking hip when the pressure builds, breathing labored as you ride his face and leave both his palms clinging on your rear.
“Mmh, that’s good. Such a good boy,” you swoon, heavy eyes, slick cock sliding on the side of your cheek. Your hand doesn’t stop, palming the tip, showering kisses along the veins and down to have a taste of his sack.
Erron can only make out a swathed gasp.
“You’re wet, Mr. Black. So wet, what are we going to do with you?” And finally, you give him a moment of respite, lifting off from him to catch a glimpse of his dazed expression over your shoulder. He spams under your touches, you lick at your swollen lips. “Tell me, tell me what you want me to do with you.”
“Let me come,” he shivers, a light sheen of sweat dampening his skin. “Please, fuck me till I come, baby. I want you. It’s been so long.”
“Inside?” you purr, turning back around and find his lips to have a taste of yourself on his tongue. You groan, shameless, and Erron nods.
“Inside,” he croaks to your lazy kiss, canting his head to match you, feather light touches down your spine until he rests on the small of your back. His cock rubs on your ass, nose buried in your hair. “What d’you need me to do, sweetheart?”
“Just stay still.” You preen through his mussed up hair, smoothing it back tenderly, tucking stray strands away. There’s a smile on your face, admiring the stupor in Erron’s gaze and the way his hair frames his forehead. You press another kiss there. “Stay still and enjoy the show, dear.”
Enjoy the show he does, even without you telling him to. There’s a small bottle of oil you fish out from the mess of your clothes, popping it open and pouring a liberal amount all over your hand. You rub it on, and slide a forefinger in, then the middle, fucking your already soaked entrance. Head, thrown back, lips parted and Erron’s name rolling off your tongue becomes the finest song to his ears.
The blush decorating your face and beads of sweat cascading down your collarbone makes Erron’s heart skip a beat.
They’re hard to miss, and harder to ignore.
Your other hand braces your body against his chest, and he takes liberty to leave hickeys on your neck, fondling your nipples between his fingers. He kneads them, massaging down your sides, spreading your ass and lifting your hips. Your laugh is a staccato as your fingers slip out with a squelch.
“Patience,” you warn, sucking off the slickness from your digits and positions the head of his cock where they’d just been. “You want me to fuck you, Erron?”
“I do,” he’s winded, nodding, a shiver running up his spine.
“Have you ever had anyone fuck you?” you ask, voice low enough to be guttural, bordering a growl. “Fuck you proper, pound your ass. Have you a mess in your own cum. Have you?”
“N-no,” he stutters when you lower yourself down on him, shaking his head. You see the tips of his ears turn a cherry color. “No, I haven’t, Boss.”
“Maybe next time I should,” you sigh, moaning heartily when he’s sheathed in completely and makes you feel whole. Full. You stay there, and Erron doesn’t move, clinging on you till you give him the word. “I’ll make you come without touching your cock, Erron. Make you a sobbing mess.”
The imagery you give him is there to stay, there for him to collect your debt one day, and he can only strain out a strangled groan against your bare skin that’s clammy and damp. It tastes of salt, but lord is it one of the more inviting things he’s tasted.
You, and you. And more of you.
The tent smells like sex and both of you know it. It’s stuffy, but the good kind, the kind that makes you struggle to breathe and numb your brain with pleasure when you bounce on him, exhaling his name, moaning out obscene things.
Indecent squelches and your voice melding with Erron’s quieter ones, your own name rambling off his lips like a prayer. And against the quiet night in the camp that’s set somewhere far from bustling markets, it wouldn’t be surprising to have someone pass by the tent and hear everything loud and clear.
Except you don’t care, and neither does he. If they decide to stay and enjoy the show, then there’ll be a price to pay later. And you know neither of you come cheap.
“Fuck, sweetie, I— you feel so damn good,” he sobs, slurring the words, “so good, so hot—”
Your arms wrap around him, slipping under his neck, and you rest your lips by his ear. What comes out is garbled, but no less of an order than you mean it to be: “Move for me, Erron, you don’t get to be a pillow princess tonight.”
Earning his prize is something Erron is good at. And holy shit, do you never regret telling him to fuck you— he, finally earning your authorization, holds you pressed against him till you swear you can feel his heartbeat on yours. It’s a blur of gasps and moans and your name feverishly scattered all over you.
On your lips, teeth knocking, your neck, your shoulder. You convulse, and your body twists, gasping and moaning and whimpering. A repetition of fuck yes and right there with rolled back eyes, clenched fists and toes and Erron’s hips turn to pistons ramming into you. Skin, slapping against skin, and that’s what rings throughout.
“So close,” his cry is muffled, teeth grazing your shoulder, “so close.”
“Then come,” your exhale shakes, somehow maintaining the resolute tone despite the absolute wreck he’s made, and you swallow noisily.
Erron shudders, holding your hips still while you brace on him. He fucks you, pounds into you, quiet except for the ragged, hot breath that coils your guts just the same. And you know he’s close when his thrusts fall off tempo, careless and chaotic but hitting somewhere delightful all the same.
You tense when he does, the drawn out moan shifting into a feral growl as he bites into your flesh. It stings and he can taste iron in his mouth. You jolt, and moan, and he continues to buck and rut as he rides his orgasm, loosening his hold on you after he’s gone off from the high.
“Me,” you mumble, and he knows immediately what you mean. Erron licks on the wound he’s made, the mark he’s carved, slipping out of you with a wet squelch. You roll off him, spreading your legs apart, twitching from the sudden lack of Erron buried in you.
Yet the disappointment doesn’t last long when he bends down, intent on finishing you off with his mouth and hands. He has a taste of his own seed, his moans dirty, sinful as he laps up what leaks out from you. Hands, and fingers, busy working to draw your climax out.
Fast, hot, and heavy. It’s rough fingers against everywhere you’re sensitive and swollen, and your spine arches, hissing, feel your mind keeling in on itself when you see white and you release right on his face with spasms running from head to toe.
A moment of silence, filled in with only a pair of heaving breaths, before you finally regain your senses and your touch back on reality. Erron licks his fingers clean, while you pull him by the arm to lie beside you. There’s a glow about his face, and a crooked smile on yours.
“How are you feeling?” you ask, voice soft, dry and hoarse. You wipe his face as clean as you can with your hand.
“Amazin’,” he answers, fulfilled and content as he snuggles up beside you. At first, you hadn’t pegged him for a guy to cuddle, but it’s been years and you’ll never not enjoy his presence beside your worn out body. Seems like it’s the same for him.
The kiss you share next is soft, light; gentler on sore lips. Erron sighs, grunting, shifting till he finds the perfect position with an arm slung on your abdomen while yours absentmindedly rub his forearm.
“I missed this,” he murmurs. “I missed you.”
“I know,” you say softly, chuckling, lips against his hair. “I did too.”
“I’m thinkin’ of quitting this farce with the Black Dragons,” he chatters, voice turning private and mild. “It ain’t fun, Kano’s nothin’ but a wad of dick and summore. It’s boring here, all work, shit price. Kotal’s got a better offer up for me.”
“Mhm,” you brush his hair, and he sighs against it. “Then you should leave.”
“Can’t even see you that often,” Erron adds, scoffing. “Asshole’s sending me to weird places, I swear it’s on purpose.”
You’re genuinely amused when you laugh out of your chest, shaking your head. He’s sulking, you think. But it’s endearing just the same to you. A testament of his trust for you. “What’s stopping you?”
“Nothin’,” he shrugs, chuckling when you laugh. “I’m getting out of here morning comes.”
“Sure,” you say, sighing from your nostrils as you tuck your chin on the crown of his head. “I’ll never be too far from you.”
“Best assassin in Outworld?” Erron crows.
“Best assassin in Outworld.”
He grins, nudging your chin with his head. “Couldn’t even kill me.”
“Didn’t want to,” you admit, clicking your tongue. “And you paid me double to kill the guy who wanted you dead. More for me.” You give him a light pat. “Snatched you up too.”
“I wasn’t letting a pretty thing like you go.”
Comfortable silence settles, before Erron breaks it with a call of your name. Your eyes crack open, canting down with a, “Hm?” and a curious look.
“You think I’m naive?”
“That’s an odd question,” you muse. “Why?”
“I’ve lived for more than a hundred years,” he starts, lifting a look to you, lips twisting. “And I’m still betting my cards on people like Kano.”
“I like that part of you.” There’s no hesitation in your answer, fingers tracing his jawline, tucking strands of hair behind his ear. Erron’s got a way with his loyalty— extending much farther, much deeper than the money he parades. “All heart, wearing it on your sleeve. Not doing things half-assed.”
In his words once upon a time, no one can take the scrawny kid from Wickett outta me.
“Don’t try to brown nose me,” Erron chortles.
“But I’m not,” you close your eyes again, letting the drowse drift you off someplace else. “I like knowing I won’t be stabbed behind my back.”
“How’d I know you wouldn’t?”
“You won’t until I do,” you agree with the point he brings up. Betrayals are a part of your job, an everyday page in your book. But there’s no alarm in his tone; just a question, while your limbs are all tangled with his. “If I ever do. I don’t want to. I’ll miss on purpose for you, though.”
“How sweet,” Erron’s shoulder shake, humored. “Alright. I’ll take your words for that.”
“You should.”
“I will.”
“...I need a bath.”
“Yeah,” he concurs, nose scrunching. “We both do.”
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Text
Run From Me: Chapter Seven
Summary: There aren’t many solutions to escape becoming a member of The Mad Titan Thanos’ harem. All you can try to do is to run and pray he doesn’t find you. 
Word Count: 4,096
Chapter Warnings: Punishments and being upset over said punishments
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The click of the door resigned me to my fate. I was left alone with the Mad Titan, and he could have me do whatever he desired, and I would have to obey him. If I didn’t want to die, of course. However, depending on the method of punishment, I think I would prefer dying. 
I reminded myself of that look in his eyes as he had glared down at me the other day, darkened with murderous intent and eager to torture his captive. That was surely the Thanos I would encounter soon. Maybe I would see that captive again, only this time bloodied and bruised beside him, wherever he might be. I could only imagine the pain that Thanos could inflict on me now.
“I apologize for my behavior towards you yesterday.”
Blinking in shock, I stared up into Thanos’ eyes. My mouth hung open slightly, trying to form words out of the scattered thoughts in my brain. Before I could speak, Thanos continued, “I frightened you before. That is not the kind of look I give my women, nor the turmoil I would allow them to feel. It’s why you tried to escape, isn’t it? You feared I would lash out at you at any moment and harm you if I so willed it.”
After a brief moment, I gave him a defiant look. “Just because you apologize doesn’t mean it makes it right or that I’ll forgive you.”
“I am aware. I know by now you aren’t easily swayed by simple words.” Thanos leaned forward in his chair, his hands loosely clasped between his parted legs. “However, it is that same reluctance that seems to get you into trouble. You don’t know how to make concessions with others when you aren’t in a position to question those that hold all the cards.”
My feet carried me right up to him, watching as his brows raised in slight surprise at my movement. I now stood right before him, fists balled at my sides. In a low voice, I hissed at him through grit teeth, “You’re talking about compromising with my fucking captors? The people that forced me here, what you’re doing right now? You have the fucking gall to expect me to take that shit lying down? Who do you think you are?”  
“I have given up everything to be where I am today, I have earned my position.” Thanos leaned forward slightly, our faces inches from each other. “You are a Terran, far away from home, struggling to even survive. How long did you expect to survive if not for my kindness?”
I snorted. “Kindness? Fuck you.” 
“What else would you call what you have here?” He unclasped his hands and gave an open handed gesture to the room around us. “Do you know what would happen on another ship? You would be shackled up in a cold room with other women, either in minimal clothing or none at all. You would be fed and watered enough just to keep you alive. And the only reprieve you would have from that is when you would be passed around to the depraved scum that would mistreat you however they wished.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Oh, so just because you’re above sexually abusing your slaves and instead giving them five course meals means I should applaud you? Give you a fucking trophy? Well congrats, Master, you win the award of treating your slaves nice while still depriving them of their basic fucking rights as living beings.” I couldn’t help but add a slow clap at the end for dramatic effect. 
Instead of a cold stare from my outburst, Thanos simply smiled, causing my bravado to waver. “You simply don’t get it, do you?”
“What isn’t there to get? You’re a fucking space dictator that wants brownie points for not abusing his prisoners.”
It was Thanos’ turn to laugh. “You don’t get that you are only proving my punishment for you more fitting than I originally thought.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Is that supposed to scare me?”
“Not scare. Teach. Have you appreciate what you are given here. Granted, I imagine it will prove to be a great headache for me in the beginning, but I’m sure you will grow accustomed to it over time.”
“Oh no, you’re making such sacrifices for yourself to punish me. What a selfless leader. I don’t know what we would ever do-”
With an almost gleeful glint in his eye, he interrupted me. “In order for you to appreciate what I’ve done here for you, I think what must happen is for your living arrangements to change. And to ensure that you won’t be so eager to get into trouble, you’ll need a chaperone. I will provide both of these things for you.”
I felt my throat close up, my breath stalling in my throat. My heartbeat was pounding in my head so loudly I couldn’t hear myself think. The only word that escaped my lips was a soft, “No.”
“As of this moment,” Thanos continued, ignoring me. “You will live in my room under my supervision. You will not be able to leave this room unless it is with myself or with one of the Black Order-”
“NO!” I screamed at him, stepping away rapidly. “NO NO NO! You can’t fucking do this to me!” I shrieked, stumbling against furniture that blocked my escape. “I won’t fucking let you! I would rather you fucking kill me!”
Thanos sighed. “Rather dramatic, aren’t we?”
“Shut the fuck up!” In a moment of desperation, I turned and ran towards the door. Thanos made no move to get up as I yanked the door so hard it almost smacked me in the face. I spilled out into the hallway, stumbling over myself and frantic for escape.
I didn’t make it far. Halfway down the hall I careened into an unexpectant Corvus Glaive, who cursed loudly as I thrashed against him. Proxima pulled me away just long enough to restrain my hands, trying to drag me back to where Thanos waited at the entrance of his room. I kicked out and screamed, making myself hoarse in the process. Corvus stood next to his wife, helping escort me back down the hall with his hand coiled tightly around my upper arm. 
“Well, I hadn’t expected that particular reaction,” Thanos mused as we grew near. “Though I should have known better than to not have Maw secure the door behind him.”
“What did you even say?” Proxima asked as I was passed back to Thanos, his hand wrapping around my entire bicep, securing me in place as I tried to hang limp and kick his legs while I growled incoherently.
“She isn’t allowed to leave my room unless I or one of the Black Order is escorting her. If you see her with anyone else you are to bring her back to me, though I’m certain there won’t be any more issues like this.” He spoke as if I wasn’t there.
I’m certain I blacked out for a moment in my screaming fit because I couldn’t remember anything until I was placed on his sofa, his massive hands holding me in place. I felt light headed. I could barely speak. Everything just felt so numb.
“I’ll kill myself,” I sputtered out pitifully, not able to control the tears that flowed freely now.
“If you truly wished to kill yourself, you wouldn’t have told me,” Thanos spoke calmly, a strange contrast from his firm grip. “Please rest, you’ve overworked yourself.”
All I could remember of the rest of that day was bawling my eyes out as Thanos knelt before me, keeping a watchful eye over me until I finally passed out from exhaustion.
-----
It was a struggle to open my eyes when they felt like they were fused shut. My lips were chapped horribly, and I felt like I had been hit by a bus. My entire body felt sore and limp, but I was warm. There was a large duvet draped over me, and I instinctively buried myself further below it, as if doing so would protect me from my loathsome surroundings.
There was a shuffling noise beside me, and to my surprise, Aphua stood up from the end of the couch and reached for the teapot that sat upon the side table. She poured some into a teacup and held it out to me. Not wanting to make her upset, my hands popped up from underneath the covers and took the cup. 
She waited patiently for me to take a sip. When I did, I realized just how sore my throat had become. The liquid felt harsh at first as it went down, but with another sip I felt the warmth seep through me. It was a delicious blend of spices that I wasn’t familiar with, but nonetheless tasted good. 
“It’s Pumila tea, native to my homeworld,” Aphua said. “It works miracles on a sore throat.”
“Thanks,” I rasped. “Do you grow it?”
Aphua frowned slightly. “Now we do. Lord Thanos used to bring some back to me when he would visit. We don’t do that anymore.”
“Why not?”
She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. That was then. We do things differently now.”
I took another sip, feeling better by the moment. I was slightly annoyed to not hear the answer. I’ve always been a snoop at heart and I knew there was more to it than she was letting on, but I let it go for the moment.
“I had your punishment once.” 
My eyes widened as I looked back up at her. “Really? What did you do?”
She shook her head again. “Nothing of importance.” Her lips were pursed, as if she wanted to tell me but couldn’t bring herself to. Aphua turned to look into my eyes. “Lord Thanos is not as bad as he seems. I promise. He only wants the best for you.”
I scoffed. “No he doesn’t, he gets a power trip off of controlling all these women. How do you not see that?”
“He cares very deeply,” Aphua’s voice raised. It shocked me. “If he didn’t care for us he would have been rid of us sooner. He wouldn’t care if we died or not.”
As I was about to try to calm her down, the door opened and Thanos stepped through. He looked over us with a soft smile. I rolled my eyes and set my cup on the ground and made my way back to burrowing under the duvet. I didn’t want to look at him or his dumb face for as long as I lived. Which wouldn’t be much longer if I had to endure this fake sappy sweet garbage any longer. 
“My darling Aphua,” Thanos said as he approached the couch, leaning over Aphua. I watched in disgusted horror as the two met in a surprisingly chaste kiss. I grumbled loudly and tucked my head fully under the blanket. I wanted to barf. Thanos let out a short sigh as he asked, “Has she been this miserable for long?”
“She only just woke up,” Aphua responded shortly. 
“Amazing how in such a short amount of time she could leave my princess in such a foul mood,” Thanos mumbled softly to her. I could only just imagine that he was inches away from her lips as he whispered this fucking nasty lovey-dovey crap to her.
“Y’all are gross. Fuck off somewhere else with that shit,” I growled from under my sanctuary. 
“I asked Aphua here to keep you company,” his stern tone was muffled from under the covers. “However, if you are truly this ungrateful, I see no problem with allowing her to leave so she won’t have to be subjected to your sour attitude.”
I pondered for a moment. If she left, that meant I would be alone with Thanos. But if she stayed I would have to endure silly pet names and tongue fucking. What great options. 
“Don’t care,” I grumbled. 
I yelped as the duvet was swiftly yanked down, leaving my hair flying in twenty different directions. “Behave yourself.” Thanos now knelt before me, chastising me like a parent would.
“No,” I said firmly. 
He glared at me. “She is not the one who deserves your tantrum. Direct your ire at me all you want, but do not make the lives of the women I spend my time with miserable because of your vendetta against me.”
There was a distinct pang of guilt that hit me. I didn’t want to admit it but he was right. Aphua was just being nice to me. She really didn’t have to. She wasn’t the one holding me captive here. 
I glanced over to Aphua, who sat on the couch with her hands in her lap. “I’m sorry, Aphua,” I said softly.
She nodded with a small smile. This satisfied Thanos, and he finally got out of my face and moved to sit in his own chair. His posture was more relaxed, his legs stretched out so far that his leg brushed up against hers. With a light flush in her cheeks, her expression softened and she shifted her leg just enough so it rested closer to his. I looked away with a disgusted look. This pseudo courting shit was obnoxious. 
The next few hours were surreal. My brow furrowed as I watched Thanos have normal conversation with Aphua over tea and whatever dessert she had brought with her. They discussed mundane things, like how their days went and him asking what she’d been up to recently. Aphua had refilled my tea and handed me a plate of dessert, all while burrowed under my blankets and stared quizzically at the scene before me. It was just too odd watching a giant space dictator having tea and desserts. Even more odd was that Aphua was the most talkative I had ever seen her. Her face lit up when she spoke, her pale blue skin showing shades of darker blush along her cheeks. 
After a while though, Thanos eventually escorted her to the door. The way things were going I was surprised he didn’t have her stay the night just to torture me. As he leaned down towards her, she stood on tiptoes to meet him, her hands finding his shoulders as the two shared a kiss. It was hardly like the kiss from earlier though. While that one was quick, there was a slow burning beneath as the kiss began to deepen. I couldn’t find myself looking away though, and I was certain I was blushing myself at this point. As they finally parted, I shoved myself back under the covers again, not wanting Thanos to see me. I didn’t want him to tease me like he did in the training room.
I heard the door close, and Thanos moved back across the room. I expected him to bother me again, but instead I heard him move to the other side of the room. There were creaking sounds as what sounded like a chair was being moved around. He let out a short sigh accompanied by sounds of paper being shuffled around. 
Like a gopher peeking out of its burrow, I slowly poked my head over the back of the couch. Thanos was hunched over at his desk, flipping through pages of material in front of him. He really was old school, not even using the technology set up at his desk. 
I thought I hadn’t made much noise, but Thanos glanced absently over his shoulder at me. “If you wish to sleep, I can turn down the lights.”
“I’ve slept enough.” I turned away from him.
“Then come here. We must talk.”
I rolled my eyes and looked back at him. “We ‘must,’ huh? Serious stuff we couldn’t talk about in front of your girlfriend?”
“Would you really wish for others to know of our business?” Thanos now turned his chair to face me, his position casual and relaxed. 
I scoffed and threw the duvet on the floor. “So considerate of you.”
Thanos huffed. “And there’s the sarcasm we have all grown to love.”
I actually cracked a smile as I wandered over. “Oh, so you can make jokes too? I just thought you had a gigantic stick up your ass this entire time.”
Thanos didn’t bother answering back, simply retrieving an item from his desk and turning to me. I felt my blood run cold. My bag in his hand. 
“As you remember,” Thanos spoke, gesturing with the bag in his outstretched hand, urging me to take it. As I snatched it out of his hand, he continued, “The last time we were in this position, I simply gave you your bag back and respected your privacy.”
“So now you’re telling me you looked through it?” I spat.
“No. I still haven’t done that. However,” Thanos nodded towards the bag. “Now you’ll show me yourself.”
I clutched the strap tightly in my fist. “And why would I do that?”
“Because if you don’t, then I will find it harder to lift your punishment. Trust is a two way street, and I trusted you enough to not try to run off. Now, here we are.”
I scoffed. “Trust? I don’t trust you one bit.”
“You have no other choice. You live here with me now.” He leaned forward. “There has to be a mutual trust between us, even if it is only enough to simply sleep in the same room as one another. I don’t trust that you don’t have something in your bag that could cause more strain between us.”
“You’re fucking kidding me.” This was not good. This was very not good. It wasn’t just that I had the PDA in my bag and he would see all my maps. It was my personal items, my memories. My innermost thoughts. For him to have access to those things would mean that I would have nothing left besides my name. He would own me completely. More than he already does.
“I’m not.” He sat back, giving me space to breathe. “Go ahead. The sooner you do this, the sooner the slate can be cleaned and we can attempt to have a new beginning.”
Trust. I knew I needed him to trust me if I ever wanted another shot at escape. I bit the inside of my cheek roughly, leaving a painful indentation. I knew I had to do this if I had any hope left. I just had to sacrifice my privacy. That totally wasn’t hard to do at all.
I took a deep breath and opened my bag, reaching inside. I took out the Poe book first, laying it on the desk beside us. I struggled with myself as my hand gripped the journals that contained all of my thoughts and memories. My throat felt tight as I brought them out one by one onto the desk. 
He reached out towards them, and I heard an unfamiliar voice squeak out of me, “Please don’t read them.”
Thanos held them in his hands, his eyebrow cocked. “Are they personal journals?” I nodded, feeling embarrassed at my desperate plea. “Then I won’t read them. However.” He lifted up the thicker journal. “This one has something inside, I can tell from the way the pages line up. I want to see it.”
My head tilted down as he flipped through it, finding the family photo there. I couldn’t bear to look him in the eye as he glanced over it. Much to my relief, however, he simply closed the journal back up without a word and placed it back with the others. 
“You may continue.” 
The moment of truth. My fingers curled around the PDA, knowing fully well that everything I had gotten until now would be taken away. The maps were only partially committed to memory, but I still had trouble getting around the ship because every hallway looked the same. But I had to. I needed him to trust me. This was the only way to get it.
I set it down on the desk in front of him, mustering the best indignant look I could. His eyebrows raised in genuine surprise. “Well,” he said, picking the device up. “I can’t say I expected something like this to be on your person.”
I didn’t answer. He continued to mull over the device, his fingers comically large holding it. After a few button mashes, he found my maps. His eyes widened as he scrolled through what I had already catalogued. “How did you get such an ancient device to do this?”
“Ancient?” I snorted. “It’s more high tech than what we have on Earth.”
Thanos considered my comment for a moment, obviously impressed by what I’d done. Really all I did was fiddle with the damn thing when I had down time, which was often for someone living on selling scrap metal to whatever yahoo would pay me for it that day. And you don’t tend to sleep too much when you’re on the streets so that opens up a lot of free time. 
He watched my face for a moment, no doubt annoyed by my defiance. As his fingers began to close on the device, he stared at me, his grey eyes piercing into mine. Tighter and tighter his grip became, my throat drying with it. Almost as if it were my neck between his fingers. 
A muffled crack was heard, and yet he still continued to apply pressure. Even though my stomach fluttered anxiously, I held his gaze. He wasn’t going to break me like he did my device. I wouldn’t let him. 
Slowly, his hand opened, revealing the crushed electronics inside. He tilted his hand, the metal hardware clinking against the floor as it spilled out. “Now,” Thanos said, breaking the silence. “It is no more.”
“If you think breaking it will make me stop, then you’re wrong,” I hissed at him.
“No, I would be naive to believe it would make you stop. Which is why you will stay with me until your trust is earned again.” His head tilted towards me. “Tell me you understand.”
I glowered at him as I began scooping up my belongings, not waiting for him to tell me I could have them back. “Oh, I understand Master,” I spat. “I understand that you’ll have to babysit me for the rest of my life. Hope you enjoy it because I’m not going to make life easier for you.”
I turned to stomp off towards the couch, throwing my belongings onto the coffee table and flung the duvet back over myself. My heart lurched as his chair skid backwards on the floor, his footsteps slowly approaching me. I tried my best to hide my flinch as one of his hands rested on my shoulder, practically engulfing it. His thumb stroked along the side of my neck, making me recognize just how easily he could kill me in this moment.
“I once knew of a girl who didn’t take so kindly to me either when she first arrived.” He began, his voice slow as he extracted his memories. “She fought and screamed and cursed me every single day for years. And then one day, what I was telling her began to make sense. She realized what I was doing was what was best for her. It all clicked.”
He leaned forward so his mouth was close to my ear, his thumb continuing to stroke along my neck. “And now, she is the most ferocious woman in the galaxy. Because she understood what needed to be done. That I wasn't out to ruin her life, but to give her a better one. She would have died out there on her home planet if not for me.” His voice then dropped to a low whisper. “So I have the patience necessary for you, little human. You too will come around to realize that I know what is best for you.”
And like that, his hand left my shoulder and his looming figure simply left, instead crossing the room towards the door. My mouth was slightly agape, trying to process his thinly veiled threat. As he approached the door, he gave me one fleeting glance over his shoulder. It was a look of confidence. Confident that he knew what he was doing was fair and just. 
And then he left. The door clicked. Locked inside Thanos’ chambers with no one other than my thoughts to keep me company. 
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thedyingmoon · 5 years
Text
***
"Ave Maria! Jungfrau mild, erhöre einer jungfrau flehen, aus diesem felsen starr und wild soll mein gebet zu dir hin wehen, zu dir hin wehen. Wir schlafen sicher bis zum morgen, ob menschen noch so grausam sind. O jungfrau, sieh der jungfrau sorgen, o mutter, hör ein bittend kind!"
"Ave Maria! Jungfrau mild,..."
The people of the church never ceased praying since news of the Devil Hunters' demise and the rise of the True Demon reached them.
The innocent people of that country in the west, or what remained of them, all huddled close to the altar, joining the endless prayer vigil with personal prayers of their own, hoping for some kind of a saviour that would come down and rescue them.
Kyrie, who watched over the children, was inside that church.
"Sshh, it's okay." The woman cooed, reassuring them to, at least, keep them calm, for they haven't stopped crying for the last half hour.
And who could blame them? Multiple lasers of destruction were raining down from above, killing hundreds, if not thousands, of people.
Despite her vigilant and reliable façade, Kyrie felt really sick.
She closed her eyes, holding back the tears that threatened to spill. Negative thoughts plagued her mind all day, about the genocide, the inevitable end,...
... the life of her one true love and,...
The screams and noises outside grew louder and louder as the massacre ensued. And, just when the disturbing noises drew closer and closer, the heavy wooden doors of the church burst open, and in came a group of six to eight feet tall gargoyle - like creatures whose mouth and claws were dripping with blood,...
... blood of the people they massacred.
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At the mere sounds of these creatures of darkness, the people of the church made their prayers louder, hands clasped and knees bent.
"Ave Maria! Jungfrau mild, erhöre einer jungfrau - !"
The Demons laughed and howled, mocking the defenseless.
"GOTT IST NICHT HIER!" The tallest and most horrfying of the horde boomed, its voice engulfing the whole room in hopelessness and making the younger ones cry even louder. "PANDÄMONIUM,... IST GEKOMMEN! IHR ALLE WERDET,... STERBEN!"
An old Priest bravely came forward despite his trembling knees, holding up his crucifix in hopes of warding off the Demons.
"Sáncte Michael Archángele, defénde nos in proélio,..."
The enemies fell silent, looking at each other, confused of what's going on. The priest took this as an opportunity to keep praying.
"Cóntra neqúitiam et insídias diáboli - "
One by one, the enemies started laughing at his words, clearly not affected by his prayer.
With sweat running cold and courage slowly diminishing, the poor old Priest went on, "... ésto p - p - præsídium. Ímperet ílli Déus - "
One of the Demons came forward and mockingly uttered the prayer with the frightened Priest. "... SÚPPLICES DEPRECÁMUR: TUQUE, PRÍNCEPS MILÍTIÆ CÆLÊSTIS - "
"SATANAM!" The Demons bellowed in unison, shaking the faith of everyone in the room, including the now crying Priest, who started to urinate involuntarily.
The old one wiped his tears. Despite the Demons' machinations, he went on, still holding his crucifix up high. "... aliósque spíritus malígnos, qui ad perditiónem animárum pervagántur in múndo,..."
One of the Demons bent low, reaching the Priest's face, and howled, spraying his spit on the poor man's face,
"VENITE IGITUR DESCENDAMUS ET CONFUNDAMUS IBI LINGUAM EORUM UT NON AUDIAT UNUSQUISQUE VOCEM PROXIMI SUI!"
The man started weeping, unable to finish his prayer. Then, the Demon grabbed his body with one hand and lifted him off the ground, earning screams and panic from the people.
"LAUF!" The Priest shrieked for the last time as the Demon lifted him. "LAUF!"
Kyrie grabbed the children and ran as fast as she could with them, not once looking back when the Demons started feasting on the Priest and the people nearby. She hid with them, suppressing her tears and hoping for some form of a miracle.
"Nero,..." she muttered, her eyes shut and her arms around the frightened children. "... please,..."
Then, it came: a Demon who found them, its drool dripping, its menacing red eyes looking down at them like they were some meals on a buffet.
"FOUND YOU!"
...
The remains of the Dreadnought finally fell from the sky, its parts crumbled and destroyed.
Nero pushed back some fleshy debris and looked down at the two people he was protecting with his translucent pair of blue wings. He changed back to his mortal form and supported Dante as he allowed himself to collapse on the ground, the dying girl still on his arms.
"We can't do this! We're all gonna die here!" The youth barked, unable to accept Dante's condition. The wound he received from Vergil was not healing, and he was losing a lot of blood.
“YOU’RE WRONG!” Dante fumed as his hand automatically went to his wounds, wincing with unbearable pain. “Listen to me, kid: you’re the only one left here who could stop my stupid brother.”
“I can’t beat your brother! Not like this - ”
“Then, take this!” The older man snapped, shoving his sword towards the young one. “That’s,… the Devil Sword Dante. Use it to defeat,… Vergil!”
Nero looked at the sword in his hands, still trying to process everything that’s going on. “I can’t accept this! You’re his family! You’re supposed to be the one who must defeat - !”
“AND SO ARE YOU! Vergil - V - is your father! I won’t last,… much longer!” Dante wheezed. “If you don’t want to do it for me, then do it for (Y/N)! You must,… beat some sense out of your old man for,… HURTING HER! AARRGGHH!”
“Hey!” Nero spluttered as he witnessed how the once strong Dante spout out blood, the life leaving his body. “Take it easy,…”
“Swear to me you’ll beat Vergil!”
The youth glanced into his uncle’s worried eyes, searching for some kind of hope in them.
But, there was none.
Dante, the Legendary Devil Hunter, was dying.
Nero grasped the sword like it was his, looked at Dante for one last time, and nodded. He also looked at the girl on Dante’s arms. It seemed that all hope has finally left her, as well.
“No offense here but, Devil Sword Dante sucks ass. Devil Sword Nero sounds better.”
“Whatever.” Dante whispered, his eyelids dropping and his breathing getting shallower. “Do it for the girl,… capisce?”
“Sure.”
The man smiled and wrapped his arms around her for one last time. He closed his eyes and breathed his last.
Nero felt a strange sting in his eyes but, he refused to let his emotions overwhelm him.
After all this time, he finally found out he has a family.
But, Dante was already gone,…
He turned away and ran in pursuit of the man who was the cause of all this shit.
With the Devil Sword Dante on his hand, and the Red Queen and the Blue Rose at his disposal, Nero morphed back into his Devil form and launched in the air, looking for Vergil, all the while seeing the massive casualties of the Hunters on the ground below him.
And just when he was about to speed past them, he noticed a familiar - looking white vehicle making its way past the mountain of Demon and human carcasses.
“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Nico uncharacteristically cursed as she drove and avoided multiple fallen debris from both the Dreadnought and some destroyed buildings.
“This isn’t supposed to happen!” Lady, who was in the vehicle together with her and Trish, protested. “Why is Shinano Musashi still alive?!”
“Dante, and everybody else, lost! And that’s about it.” Trish asserted, finding her own assumptions, and her untimely headache, hard to swallow.
“We can’t lose right now! That Demon’s on a rampage! Everybody will die!” Lady prodded, still willing to fight despite their huge loss.
“NO ONE’S LEAVING THIS TRAILER UNTIL I SAY SO!” Nico howled as she drove faster, trying to protect the two ladies in her own way.
All of a sudden, they heard a hard thud on the roof of the vehicle, like something heavy landed on it. Then, it was followed by some knocks, like it was begging to be let in.
“What’s that?” Lady questioned.
“I have a fair idea who.” Nico answered as she hit the break. Moments later, Nero entered the trailer, looking devastated and disturbed. “Hey, psycho! What happened out there?!”
“Dante’s dead.”
At the youth’s bombshell of an announcement, the three women fell silent, unable to grasp the truth.
“It can’t be,…” Lady mumbled, eyes wide with shock.
“(Y/N)’s still holding on but, not for long, I know. And V,…” Nero went on, eyes narrow in sheer wrath. “He’s the cause of all of this.”
“What exactly do you mean by that?” Trish asked, partially expecting V to be somehow involved with everything that was happening.
The young Devil Hunter explained everything, from the moment V took (Y/N)’s powers by stabbing her and the fact that he was Dante’s long lost twin brother, Vergil. And that he was, unfortunately, his own father.
And as the three women heard about the real ShiShi waking up as a true and hideous Demon due to her “sister” being wronged by the man she loved, they couldn’t help but wince in total frustration and disappointment.
“So, V chose power and ended up angering ShiShi in the process.” Nico stated, feeling nothing but anger towards the man she once trusted. “Sounds like a bitch to me. Your father, I mean.”
“Where is V - Vergil, now?” Trish asked.
“I’m not sure but, I have a hunch.”
Just as Nico was about to start the trailer, they heard a fresh batch of frightening explosions nearby - a sign that (Y/N)’s sister was wreaking havoc once more with her lasers of obliteration.
“If we linger here for a bit longer, we’ll all be fried!” The Artisan yelled as she began driving as fast as she could. “Nero, where do you think your old man is?!”
“Fleminger’s mansion!”
The woman’s eyebrows furrowed. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her freckeled nose and nodded. “We’ve got some major bitch ass - kicking to do.” She said as she skillfully grabbed a cigarette stick from her pocket, flipped it, and caught it with her chapped lips. “I’m allowed to smoke now because the girl who forbade me to do it is gone! Nero!”
The youth obliged, grabbing the lighter from his pocket and lighting up the Artisan’s cigar. “Can we get there in five minutes?”
Nico tilted her head and smirked. “Bitch, please. We’ll get there in three!”
“NICO, BEHIND US!” Lady shrieked as she looked at the window, signalling for an incoming attack.
As the bumpy ride went on, the woman has succesfully performed turns, sometimes, flips, with the vehicle, skillfully dodging all of ShiShi’s deadly lasers that seemed to target them and them alone. And a few heart - stopping moments later, Fleminger’s mansion finally came into view.
“We’re gonna make it!” Lady exclaimed but, her positivity was cut short as soon as they noticed Trish pointing at something behind them. The laser, which stayed in one place for a moment, grew wider at thrice its regular size.
“No,… way,…” Nico uttered as she glanced at it on her side mirror. Her eyes grew even wider as the laser chased after them, obliterating everything in its path.
“NICO, IT’S GONNA CATCH UP TO US!” Lady yelled at her.
“I KNOW!” Nico yelled back as she drove faster than ever before. “(S/N), STOP ATTACKING US! WE’RE NOT YOUR ENEMIES!”
“(S/N)?!” Nero inquired as he looked at the Artisan in confusion.
“(Y/N)’s sister. She told me.” The woman answered.
“Whatever her name is,” Trish began in a not - so - calm voice. “… we’re not gonna make it! (S/N) wants all of us dead!”
And she was right: the massive crimson light was inches away from the vehicle, already disintegrating parts of it.
Nico inhaled deeply, contemplating her next move for a few seconds. And when she finally exhaled, filling the air around her with cigarette smoke, she spoke, “Nero, on my signal, I want you to jump out of this trailer. Lady, Trish, you’ll do whatever it takes to get Nero to safety. Is that clear?”
“Hey, hey, hey, what are you talking about?!” Nero started to argue when Trish grasped his shoulder firmly. The youth turned just in time to see the two female Devil Hunters nodding at him.
“Girls, you’ve got to be joking - !”
“IS THAT CLEAR?!”
“We understand!” Trish and Lady answered.
“Okay.”
“You’re being stupid and reckless! I can’t let you die here! I won’t allow it!”
“STOP BEING A BITCH AND LISTEN TO ME FOR THE LAST TIME!” Nico screamed at him in anger, her sight not once straying from the road. “You’re the only one left who could do this! Better us than you!”
“She’s right. We don’t have much time!” Trish added.
“GUYS!” Lady shrieked in utter panic, pointing at the back, or what’s left, of the vehicle, now swiftly being swallowed by the light.
“LADY, OPEN THE DOOR! TRISH, DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO STOP THAT LIGHT FROM REACHING NERO! AND WHEN SHE DOES, NERO, I WANT YOU TO JUMP AS FAR AWAY FROM HERE AS YOU CAN!”
“GOTCHA!”
“GOT IT!”
Nero watched helplessly as the women did their jobs, of Lady opening the door, of Trish positioning herself in front of the light, her hands sparkling with what’s left of her demonic power, and of Nico driving as fast as she could.
Determined to the bone, the Artisan made one last trick and launched the vehicle in mid air. She turned to them and uttered her final command.
“NOW!”
Trish held up both her hands and channeled every bit of her power to the light, doing everything she can to hamper its movement.
“NERO, PLEASE!” Lady pleaded as she waited for the youth to oblige.
“Y - you,…” the young Devil Hunter stuttered in disbelief, unable to protect them, himself, despite having adequate power.
“PUSH THAT KID OUT OF HERE! AAHH!” Trish howled in pain as the light festered her hands, then her forearms.
Lady made one last effort to push Nero out of the trailer, away from them,…
… away from the very last people who placed, yet, another great burden upon his shoulders.
The last things he saw on the trailer as he gave it one last look were Lady’s worried different - colored eyes, Trish’s serene smile, despite her half - gone body,…
… and Nico flipping the bird as she spat her very last cigarette butt.
A huge explosion followed as the light finally engulfed the trailer, throwing Nero farther away from the road with its impact.
The next time he opened his eyes, everything was quiet, everything was calm,…
He couldn’t see anything,…
… except for the lifeless faces of all the people he lost within a day.
Dante, Nico, Lady, Trish,…
… and that girl,…
All because of one man’s huge blunder.
And he, a proud descendant of Sparda, was hell - bent on bringing that stupid man down to his knees,…
***
🖤 I See My Future Before Me 🖤
***
XXV.A
***
~ Special dedication to @la-vita for the German dialogue. Thank you so much. Latin dialogue by yours, truly. 🖤
~@vergils-daughter , @heaven-on-a-landslide , @beyond-the-mirror , @micaelagua , @sofia-micaela , @lessy86 , @yepps , @ehrzeth , @gxthghoulfriend , @ceruleanworld , @simmy-ships , @boundbysoul , @diabeticsugarush , and @krazy06 . 🖤
***
🖤🖤🖤
***
18 notes · View notes
bunnyhani · 5 years
Text
Too Kind, Too Anxious
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Pairing: Platonic! Lee Felix x Bang Chan (And Platonic! Lee Felix x Stray kids)
Genre: Fluff and angst
Warnings: Angst and cursing. Anxiety
Summary:  His members are too kind. But Lee Felix is too kind and too anxious. But it’s all okay in the end.
Or, Felix gets anxiety from borrowing money from others and does dumb decision because of it.
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Felix has always been an anxious person to begin with. Many things caused him anxiety, there was many days, where he felt on edge without a good reason, which fueled his anxiety even further. He has now learned to avoid lots of those things, that caused him anxiety, by declining favors and being kind to everyone. To others, he seemed shy and everyone really just thought, that he truly just was so kind. Don't get it wrong, he is, but he just had other reasons to do them as well. There were still things, that just couldn't be avoided. Like trying out new stuff, failing in front of others... His dear members have always helpful and understanding of his anxiety, even though some of those anxieties and fears were a bit dumb, well.. At least that's how Felix felt about them. The members always said, they weren't dumb, especially if it caused him so much anxiety that could easily spiral him into a panic attack or an anxiety attack. There was still one thing, that was getting harder and harder to avoid, because of his members' kindness. He wanted to facepalm his hand through his face, because avoiding it became harder and harder and on top of it all, the members started noticing his avoidance towards it. The thing, that causes him unspeakable anxiety is borrowing money, having other people buy him stuff and people doing him favors. His members just happened to be the kindest people walking on this earth, he was grateful but during these situations, where he had to make up excuses to decline their favors and stop them from buying him anything, he just wanted to scream and rip his hair. Felix still knew that he wouldn't be able to hide this forever, if the members were already suspicious.
--
Felix felt like he was under water, all the noise was muffled as he stared at the present, that Chan had given him. He could hear other members squealing and thanking Chan, the amazing leader had bought them all Airpods. The younger Australian could feel his heart rate picking up, his mind started whirling and his hands were shaking ever so slightly, all thanks to the anxiety that just filled him. He slowly lifted his gaze to Chan, who was busy hugging Jisung, who was excitedly chattering to him. Felix could only wish to have the same reaction as him. He swallowed thickly and with shaky voice, he said:
"Thank you so much, Chan-hyung." Chan spared him a glance and did a double take at the boy. He looked... Chan wasn't sure how to describe the emotion, that Felix's face expressed, maybe fear? But why would be afraid?
Felix after ten minutes, he quickly escaped to the dorms' bedrooms. He faceplanted his bed and quickly threw the box, which held the Airpods, into the drawer next to his bed. These things costed so so much. How could he ever get so much money, that he could pay him back? Tears welled up in his eyes and he clenched his fist tightly, curling himself into a ball. Why was Chan so kind? He cried out of anxiety. The pillow underneath his head began to get wet with his tears, his body shaking with silent sobs that he refused to let out. His body ached from the cramped position, but he couldn't move. He didn't want to.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, which startled Felix to the point that he stopped breathing. His eyes were snapped wide open and he was now biting on his finger. The door creaked open, the light beam slipping into the room and showing the person's silhouette.
"Felix?" Chan called out softly to the boy. Felix forced his muscles to relax and his breathing to go slowly, to make it look like he was sleeping. It was hard, as the anxiety kept squeezing his chest and throat, making the breaths wheeze a bit. Chan carefully walked over to Felix's bed and sat down onto the edge of it. He didn't do anything, just listened to the younger Aussie breathe, while being very conflicted on the inside. Should he wake him up or let him sleep? They did have a tiring day and it was getting late, so should he really wake him? Besides, he had yet to get the other kids to sleep as well. But Felix had looked so anxious, so scared that it really bothered the man. He sighed and quietly got up to leave the room. At the door, he glanced back again and said softly to the boy, who he thought to be sleeping:
"Good night." He decided to talk about this with the boy tomorrow.
Felix woke up to his phone falling off of his bed's edge and with that, he was 100% awake. He picked his phone up, careful not to drop it again. Others were still fast asleep and internally, the boy sighed in relief. Yesterday’s events quickly catched up to his mind and he could feel the anxiety starting to claw his chest. His adam's apple wobbled as he swallowed, he opened his phone and started thinking ideas how to pay Chan back. Maybe an act of kindness? Cleaning around the dorms? Felix's mind was quickly filled with different suggestions, but none of them seemed good enough. Chan had bought him things WITH MONEY. Again, the lad wanted to slap himself. There was only one option left: to get a side-job. It was going to be tiring, but it was the only way, he could think how he would make money quicker. And with that, he started googling places that were taking in part-time workers, most of them were cafés, which Felix didn't mind at all. This would be perfect, he could arrange the schedule, so he wouldn't miss practice, and if there were changes, he could just talk to his boss. Well... That is if he even would get the job. And he would probably have to talk to JYP about the whole thing as well... Felix groaned into his pillow and punched it. It would take a lot of convincing, reasoning and some bullshitting, maybe. He browsed through the cafés' pages to see which would be closest to him and seemed the nicest. It was quite entertaining, he continued reading them, despite having an obvious favorite already. It was distracting and keeping his focus away from the anxiety, that was still curling his stomach. That and he was hungry. So Felix had no choice, except get up and get something to eat. He was still a bit anxious, but definitely a lot more calmer, now knowing that he had a plan.
He ate a banana and an apple, his stomach still sensitive from the anxiety. He started to feel anxious again, as the thought about the fact that he had to pay a visit to JYP soon. It stressed him to no end. I'm doing this for Chan, he reminded himself bravely. The Aussie wrote a note to the other members, that he would stop by the company to practice a bit and come back for lunch at least. It was a day off for Stray Kids, so he really couldn't have picked a better day to do this, since everyone was still asleep. But that wasn't a surprise, since it was only about 8.30am. He quickly changed into loose sweats and a hoodie, took his backpack and phone and then he was off to go. He double-checked that he had indeed locked the dorms' doors and started to walk to the company with brisk steps. Hopefully the other members wouldn't wake up before he came back and if they did, they wouldn't question him. Others might not, but Chan would. Felix remembered, how the older Australian had wanted to talk to him last night. Probably about his reaction to Chan's gift. He cursed under his breath and picked up the pace.
When he arrived to the company, he was slightly out of breath and his calves were a bit sore from speed walking. He quickly got in, greeted staff and people that came his way with a smile. He walked and walked, until he was infront of Park Jinyoung's office. His heart rate sped up and he pressed his fingers against his neck, checking his pulse. He paced back and forth for some time, until he had enough courage to knock on the door.
"Come in!" Came JYP's voice. The voice on its own gave him the chills already. With shaky hands he opened the door and stepped in. Jinyoung looked up from his papers and asked:
"Hello Felix, what brings you here?" Felix glanced around the room and took a deep breath.
"Well..."
Felix's legs felt like jelly, when he finally stepped out of JYP's office. He leaned on the wall for support, tilting his head back and taking deep breaths. Eyes closed, he finally let a small smile grace his plump, yet dry and chapped lips. JYP had agreed, after a painfully long discussion. He didn't want to think too much that why exactly did JYP agree, but he was glad. Now he just had to apply for the cafès and hope that they would hire him. He checked the groupchat, nobody had sent anything yet, which was good. He decided to now make a trip to the cafè, that he thought of applying for. He leaned into the wall for some time to make sure his legs weren't going to collapse under him. Some staff gave him weird glances and even asked if he was okay. He just smiled and reassured that he was in fact, fine. Well... Partly. His anxiety had lessened significantly since he had JYP's permission to even get a job. But what if he didn't even get a job, so this whole conversation would be in vain. Felix groaned and banged his head on the wall behind him. He winced in pain, but sluggishly prepared himself to leave the building.
He arrived at the WhipCream Cafè quite quickly. Mainly because he speedwalked again. He checked his phone again for messages, seeing none. He sighed in relief. He still had to work quickly so he stepped in, eyes looking for the owner of the cafè right away. For a moment, despair scratched his heart, but then he saw the elderly lady behind the counter. He let a smile come to his lips again, as he saw her. Felix, with slow steps walked towards the counter, hands clenched together in his pockets, mentally gathering courage again. When the old lady recognized him, a beautiful smile appeared. Felix's heart ached at the elderly lady's smile. The kind old woman kind of reminded Felix of his own grandmother. It was partly the reason, why decided to first apply for this certain cafè. That and the fact that this wasn't very big cafè. There were enough people, but not too much, so that it would be continually hard to even breathe. But there were still not enough employees, so that was a plus again for Felix.
"Ah, hello Felix! What would you like to have?" The lady asked. Felix smiled softly and said:
"I would like to have a hot cocoa with chocolate chip cookie." The woman smiled and directed him to sit down, saying that she would bring his order soon. The place carried a homey feeling, which just made Felix feel so comfortable and warm, whenever he visited the place. He leaned his head onto his palm, watching people pass on the streets from the window in front of him. However, his thoughts were interrupted, when the tray of goods were served onto the table.
"I hope you enjoy your treat, Felix", she said and turned to leave. Felix was quick to call her name and asking her to stop. The woman halted her steps and glanced at the boy, eyebrow raised. Felix's cheeks flushed from embarrassment. He should have thought about that before just blurting out whatever came to the tip of his tongue.
"Actually... There is a reason too, why I stopped by", he said hesitantly, fidgeting in his seat. The old woman nodded, sat down onto the seat opposite of him. She motioned for him to continue and Felix did.
"Thank you so much, I'll be there!" Felix said, bowing to the grandma. She shook her head, smiling gently and said the farewells. Felix bowed again and left the café with a lighter heart. He hadn't gotten the job straight up, but he got invited to the job interview, which was fine for him. Of course he was still anxious about the interview, but he felt slightly more comfortable now. The grandma would most likely take him in, seeing that they lacked workers and she had a soft spot for Felix, since he was a regular customer and incredibly polite to people. That still didn't ease his heart. He hadn't gotten the job straight up, but he got invited to the job interview, which was fine for him. He really wanted and needed this job, in order to pay back for Chan. Of course there were other places, that he could apply for, but he was the most familiar with this particular café. He could only hope for the best and try to prepare himself for the job interview. That meant that Felix was going to google all kinds of questions that may be asked during the interview, different videos on the topic and just do overall research. It eased him, if he knew that he was well prepared and of course, if he knew what he was talking about, would leave a better impression. He made a mental note to start googling stuff, when he had any free time. He then headed back to the dorms, pulling his phone out of his jacket pocket. Still no messages. Now it was a bit worrisome. Either they were still sleeping or they were waiting for him. He obviously wished for the first option, but he was pretty sure that it wasn't up to him to decide. With those thoughts, he started walking faster.
Felix opened the dorms' door and got in quickly, trying not to let any warmth escape. He tried to be as quiet as possible, heart stilling when he heard steps in the hallway. He quietly toed off his shoes and hanging his jacket onto the hanger, lightly walking through the corridor to see who was awake. It was only Jeongin and by the looks of it, the maknae was barely awake. He drank his glass of water with droopy eyes and he looked absolutely adorable. Felix waited patiently for the younger to finish his glass of water, so he could make his presence known. He didn't want to scare the other boy, since it could lead him to choking on the water that he was drinking. The moment, when Jeongin put his glass onto the counter, Felix softly greeted:
"Hey. Is anyone else awake?" Needless to say, Jeongin jumped at the sudden voice, small yelp leaving his lips and his hand quickly landing on his chest.
Felix winced at the sound of his yelp, smiling apologetically and mumbling a small 'sorry'. After the maknae had waited for his breathing to even out, he replied:
"No. We stayed up quite late, all testing the Airpods Chan gave us." Felix nodded stiffly, mind flying to the Airpods, where they were now hidden in his drawer.
"Are you okay? You left quite early last night", the maknae asked. Felix snapped his gaze onto the younger boy. He wasn't aware that others may have noticed as well. He just nodded.
"Yes, we just had a long day. I hadn't been able to sleep the previous night very well", Felix lied easily. Jeongin furrowed his brows in concern, frown making its way onto his face. Before anyone he could question Felix any further, they heard other steps come closer to the kitchen. Felix subtly moved to grab the note from the table and stuffed it to his pocket. He turned just in time to witness extremely tired looking Chan come in. The leader's hair was a mess, his face was a bit swollen from sleep, but Felix still found the older unrealistically beautiful. Chan as well took a glass of water, peeling his eyes open to look at the pair in the kitchen. He took a notice of how they were dressed: the maknae had his sleeping shorts on along with the t-shirt, while Felix was dressed in sweats and a hoodie, but he looked a lot more awake than Chan himself and Jeongin all together, meaning the boy has been awake for awhile now. He reminded himself to talk to the younger Aussie.
"What are you two doing up? When did you even get up?" he asked, when he was done drinking. The two exchanged looks and shrugging.
"I woke up just a few minutes ago, but I don't know about Lix-hyung", the youngest replied, shifting the attention from him to Felix. Felix also shrugged.
"Ehh... I woke up maybe an hour ago or so", he lied again. He had been awake for about for over 3 hours already, going around the city, running errands. But his members didn't need to know that. Chan narrowed his eyes, but accepted his answer. To him, Felix had absolutely no reason to lie. Or, at least, he couldn't think of any. He just hummed, and the younger ones started to make their leave from the kitchen. As Felix was close to Chan, the leader grabbed him by the elbow. His grip was there, but it wasn't painful. Just enough. But to Felix, the grip felt too tight. He turned his head to look at Chan so quickly, that the man was afraid that Felix might have hurt his neck in the process.
"May I have a word with you?" Chan asked with a low voice. Felix nodded. Chan still held Felix's elbow, as he more or less dragged the boy to kitchen table to sit down. Again, Felix's mind was going everywhere. His mind seemed to do that too much especially these days and it was honestly tiring. The Aussies sat down to the opposite of each other and there was a moment of silence. To Chan it was a comfortable silence, taking time to think how to word his question. Felix on the other hand, was extremely uncomfortable. He couldn't bring himself to look at Chan, opting to look around the kitchen. Ohh, how on earth is there a stain on the wall? he asked to himself, furrowing his brows. He wasn't entirely surprised, that there seemed to be a sauce stain on the wall, if he was honestly speaking. Chan finally seemed to notice how distracted and uncomfortable Felix looked. He sighed, which got Felix's attention. He held the eye contact with the leader for a moment, then dropping his eyes to his lap, where he started fiddling with his hoodie's sleeves.
"Felix... Are you okay? Last night, you looked really anxious, even scared", he finally opened his mouth. Thankfully, Felix had prepared himself to this. Which is exactly why he was able to reply steadily:
"Yes, I'm fine. I was just tired and a bit stressed from the upcoming comeback." Chan nodded, still a bit suspicious. The excuse made perfect sense, but he still felt like there were things that he didn't know about. He didn't want to accuse Felix of lying, since he seemed genuine.
"I believe you... I just.. You can come and talk to me whenever, no matter what time. You can talk to me about whatever you want, you don't need a reason to come to me. Hell, we can even talk about rainbows and sheep if you want. Just know, that I'm here to talk", he said. Felix smiled sincerely at the group leader.
"I will. Than you, Channie-hyung", he said. They smiled gently and got up to hug. Felix was glad to have a person like Chan, but there was still a weight on his chest, that kept pressing down. He didn't say anything, just breathed in Chan's comforting scent, which smelled like clean laundry.
Few days later, when Felix knew that they had a spare day coming up again, he was mentally preparing himself for the job interview. He had managed to settle the date on a spare day and he was silently doing a little victory dance. To say that he was proud, was an understatement. When Felix woke up on the day of the job interview, he was shaky and nervous. Felix stood in front of his closet, biting his bottom lip and silently digging his nails onto his arm. How should he dress? The boy threw his head back in frustration and quietly groaned. He knew he needed to look a little more put together, meaning he couldn’t come in with sweats and sweatshirt. But then again, if the members were awake by the time he came back, it would look very suspicious if he was in collared shirt and jeans. Especially on a spare day. So Felix resolved to stuff more comfortable clothes into his backpack and dress into the jeans and the shirt. He would change his clothes at the café’s bathroom then. With a satisfied nod, he got up from his crouching position, only to then stumble on the very backpack, that he had just zipped closed. He landed with a bit louder thud and a wheeze, as he landed on his stomach. Seungmin’s head shot up at the thud and the boy looked around to find the source of the noise. His eyes landed on Felix’s figure that was still on the floor.
“Are you okay?” He asked, failing to notice that the boy was a bit more dressed up than usual, thank to his sleep-fogged brains.Felix scrambled up after hearing the younger boy’s voice and said breathlessly:
“Yeah, I just… Fell over my backpack. Go back to sleep.” Seungmin gladly complied to his orders and laid his head back onto his pillow and soon started snoring away. Felix breathed in relief. If Seungmin would have been more awake, Felix would have truly been in trouble. The younger boy was very observant and clever, so Felix could only thank the lords that Seungmin was sleepy. He didn’t want to spend anymore time in the room, getting suffocated by his own thoughts, so he tiptoed to kitchen to grab few fruits and left the dorms. This time he didn’t leave any notes behind, since getting rid of it under the member’s watchful eyes was extremely difficult. Last time he was saved yet again, because Chan and Jeongin both were just woken up. Maybe the sleeping fairy was on his side, since luck certainly wasn’t. Felix quickly more or less ran to Café WhipCream. His heart was pounding and hands shaking with adrenaline and nerves. The elderly lady, miss Kim lifted her head up from behind the counter and smiled. She gestured him to follow her to her office to do the interview. Felix swallowed nervously, again digging his nails onto his arm to control his anxiety that continued making his breath choppy and hitch every now and then.
Felix left the office with a smile on his face. He went to the bathroom to quickly change his clothes into the comfortable sweats. He relished the fuzzy, warm material of the fabric and sighed in contentment. Usually jobs need time to consider about hiring people, but miss Kim said that he didn’t need to worry, since he was the only one who had applied, so basically.. He got the job. He was excited about starting to work here and of course he was glad to know that he was being useful. He would get to pay Chan back and help miss Kim on the way.
-A few month time skip-
Felix was so so tired. He knew the consequences of basically having two jobs and hiding one of them. He had to constantly make sure that the schedules didn’t clash and that his members remained unaware of it all. But just because he had managed to keep it a secret, didn’t mean that the members hadn’t notice how his under eyes kept getting darker and was starting to form eyebags that were close to rivaling 3racha’s. He often felt sluggish and slept whenever he could. The members were truly getting worried about him, but they wanted to believe that Felix would come to them when he was ready. So if it was up to Felix, that moment would never come. Not when he was so close the paying back Chan and having more money to spoil the members as a little apology for being so distant.
Felix smiled brightly at the young boy who had just ordered a smoothie. The boy happily skipped away to a table to wait for their order to come while the mom stayed back to pay. The mother watched with fond eyes at his son, who was now fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket as a distraction. After the woman payed, she too went to sit beside her son. Felix felt his heart clench at the sight of them. They looked so happy. It of course reminded him of his mother, but of his members too. He realized how little time he actually spend with them anymore, as he now had another job to attend to and he slept whenever he could, so they were really just seeing him in work associations. He felt guilty, but tried to convince himself that everything would be worth it and that the members magically wouldn’t be too hurt and concerned of his well-being. He turned to make everything ready, but another employe, Jisoo offered to serve the son and the mother, as new customers were coming in. Felix flashed her a grateful smile and turned to the new customers, waiting to order. The customers were two girls, whose eyes were the sizes of plates when they saw Felix. Felix’s heart started beating a little too fast in his chest for his licking. He tried to remain professional when taking their orders, but his mind was a mess of questions and fears. What if these were crazy fans? What if they would leak this information in Twitter or anywhere for that matter? It would be disaster. Sure, it would be good for the sales for the café, but it also meant that the rest of Stray Kids had a possibility of seeing that post, meaning he would get caught. The girls ordered with shaky voices and continued stuttering. As he turned his back for them to get them a tray, he couldn’t help but overhear their “hushed” conversation:
“Oh my goodness, is that Felix from Stray Kids?”
“Yes, yes it is! What is he doing here? Jeez… He looks even prettier in real life!” Felix felt himself paling even more and sweat started gathering at his hairline. He quickly wiped it away and turned back to them with a pleasant smile.
“Please go and sit back, I will bring your order to you in a bit”, he said, voice dropping even lower than usual, due to his nerves. The girls swallowed thickly and nodded, scrambling off after paying. He really didn’t want to serve them, but he needed to. He needed to ask for the girls not to leak this information forward. With a deep breath, he walked over to their table.
The fans had been very understanding and promised not to tell anyone. Felix couldn’t have been more grateful. The girls turned out to be very polite and nice, after getting rid of their nervousness when they actually realized that Felix was also nervous and just a regular human being. Felix was just glad that this hadn’t escalated. He was brought back to reality, when he heard a familiar voice.
“Felix?” Felix whipped around so quickly, he had never moved so fast in his whole entire life. If he thought that his heartbeat had been too fast earlier, it was now exploding as he stared at Jisung and Hyunjin. The two looked at him, expressions unsure and hesitant.
“What are you doing in here?” Jisung asked, eyes now sharp and focused.
“Well, I could ask the same thing! I’m helping out miss Kim, she needed some help, since a few employees are sick”, Felix sputtered, eyes wide. Hyunjin and Jisung exchanged glances at each other.
“It’s been a bit harder for her… There are only few employees, who are almost all of them out sick, so I just wanted to help”, Felix mumbled, eyes downcast and he fiddled with his sleeves. He hoped his lie would pass.
“Oh… Good job, I guess”, Hyunjin said after a little silence.
“But umm… What are you guys doing in here?” Felix asked. That snapped the boys out of their dazes and answered:
“Well… We haven’t seen you really in some time. We thought that we would find you here.” The words tugged at Felix’s heart strings, hard. He smiled sadly at the members and nodded.
“Well… You weren’t wrong”, he said. Jisung and Hyunjin were about to say something else, but to Felix’s relief, he was called to the backroom to take care of something. Hyunjin and Jisung left the place when they got their orders. They were still unsure about the whole situation. That whole thing had been so confusing. Sure, they had found Felix in the café, but what they hadn’t been expecting was to see him behind the counter, wearing the café’s work uniform. They didn’t tell anyone, they didn’t want any problems to occur for Felix. They trusted him to come and talk to them if he needed to. They should have known better than trust Felix with a task like that. They probably should have told Chan and Woojin about the whole thing, so that they could bring up the matter with Felix. But they didn’t.
-Few week time skip-
Felix had started smiling more again, but he still slept whenever he could and didn’t spend nearly enough time with the members. They were relieved to notice that his eyes started shining again, as they believed that the matter that had been bothering Felix, was starting to get solved by itself.
“Hey Felix! Come to the living room, we have great news!” Woojin said as a tired Felix stepped in through the door. He had just finished his shift at the café and honestly, all he wanted to do was sleep. But Woojin looked so adorable, smiling so warmly at Felix, tugging on the younger boy’s wrist. Felix had a hard time believing that Woojin was really the oldest member in the group. Felix let the man drag him to the living room, where slowly but surely other members dragged themselves into. Felix was sitting at the couch, fighting sleep.  All of a sudden, a body collapsed on top him. The Australian boy’s eyes snapped open, and he let out a wheeze. Suddenly he was very much awake as he wrapped his arms around the person’s middle so that they wouldn’t fall to the floor.
“Hi Felix”, Hyunjin said, eyes crinkling at the corners because of his smile. Felix’s heart melted a little bit at the sight and couldn’t stop the smile that formed on his own lips.
“Hello Hyunjin. You know, you could have just normally sat onto my lap, like a normal human being”, he said casually, while carding his fingers through Hyunjin’s hair with a soft gaze.
“Well that would have boring”, Hyunjin replied matter-of-factly. Felix snorted at the answer and smacked Hyunjin’s shoulder.
“Can I get your attention please?” Chan shouted over the ruckus. It really could get extremely loud in the dorms, especially when there was 9 people living there. Felix found himself loving every second of the loud commotion, he had missed it. Usually it might have caused him irritation, but now he found himself feeling content, although he had a headache knocking at his door. Everyone quieted down to give Chan a chance to speak.
“So the reason why Woojin and I gathered all of you here, is that at the end of the week, JYP gave us a free day. So we came into the conclusion that we should take you guys to an amusement park!” Chan said with a bright smile. Felix nodded a little. Maybe he could consider it…
“And nobody needs to worry about the tickets or money at all, we’re paying!” Felix’s whole body slumped against the back of the couch. He felt like his heart had dropped into his stomach. Well shit…
Felix was trying to figure out an excuse to give to Woojin and Chan, why wouldn’t he be able to go to the amusement park with them. He really couldn’t go with them and get even more debt than he already had. Maybe he could just tell that he felt sick. Which wasn’t a lie. He was consumed by worries and his mind was such a mess that it made him feel actually queasy. The other were preparing themselves to go and Felix was still in bed, shaking with nerves. His thoughts were interrupted by Chan, who came busting in through the door.
“Felix, get up! We’re going to be late”, the older Aussie said, ripping the covers off of the younger’s body. Felix didn’t move, apart from the shaking and hugged himself tighter.
“Felix?” He asked, laying his hand on Felix’s shoulder. Felix flinched at the touch, muscles tensing and he sunk his teeth onto his bottom lip.
“Sorry”, he whispered feebly. He couldn’t turn to face Chan yet. Not when his eyes were filling with the tears of anxiety.
“Hey, it’s okay. What’s going?” Chan asked again, not touching Felix again. Felix silently thanked Chan for that, but kept his mouth shut for a moment, trying to think of a reply. His head felt too full and messy to actually form a proper sentences. English and korean were mixing together and confused him even further and fueled his anxiety.
“I… I don’t feel too good, Channie-hyung”, he said with a quiet voice. Chan made a confused noise in the back of his throat.
“My stomach is a bit queasy”, he continued, squeezing his eyes shut as Chan took a gentle hold on his shoulder again, turning him so he could look at the younger boy’s face.
“Open those eyes for me”, Chan said gently. Felix complied after a moment, forcing the tears to go away. Chan took a shuddering breath. There it was, the look again. The very same look that Felix had when he had been given the AirPods. Now he had more time to observe the expression and it finally clicked. He was anxious. Chan’s mile started going mile a minute as he tried to weigh his options.
“You can stay behind. I’ll stay with you”, he said while caressing the younger’s hair ever so gently. Felix eyes widened and the boy scrambled to sit up.
“No no no, you don’t need to, it’s fine! I can manage on my own!” he stuttered hastily. Chan hushed the boy soothingly and said:
“But you don’t need to. Not when I’m here.” Felix was speechless. He stared at his hyung, dumbfounded.
“Woojin! Felix isn’t feeling well, I’ll stay behind with him!” Chan shouted for the oldest members. Woojin peeped his head from the door, a frown on his lips.
“Is he okay?” he asked, voice concerned. Chan briefly explained that the younger’s stomach was a bit queasy, so he would stay behind just in case it would get any worse, but silently betting that it wouldn’t, since Felix wasn’t really “sick”, Woojin nodded sadly and hoped for Felix to get better soon. Felix just thanked and wished a good day for the rest. This was not how he had planned for this to go. Like he had said, luck truly wasn’t on his side.
Felix didn’t talk to Chan. He knew that the older was onto him, hence he could barely bring himself to look at the older. He didn’t want to spill. Well, seemed like Chan had other ideas. Chan gave Felix space and time for the boy to come to him. He didn’t. Chan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Felix! Can I please talk to you”, he said, the sentence formed as a question but the tone made it clear that it definitely wasn’t a question. Felix didn’t want to upset Chan anymore further than he already had, so he forced himself to sit opposite of Chan at the kitchen table, not meeting the leader’s eyes. Chan stared at Felix. It felt like his gaze was piercing through his whole being and looking at his soul, so uncomfortably, Felix shifted. Chan finally broke the silence:
“Have we done anything to upset you? Please Felix, talk to me. I want to help you, fix this all. I miss you, we all do.” Felix took a sharp breath. He couldn't say anything and stared at the Aussie.
“Felix, please! How can I fix this? What is the problem, please let me help you”, Chan pleaded, getting desperate when Felix remained silent. Something snapped inside of Felix when Chan said that.
“You're too kind”, Felix mumbled. Chan stilled in his seat and stared at the younger boy dumbfoundedly. Too kind?
“Sorry?” Chan said unsurely, not sure what Felix meant and tilted his head to the side, frowning.
“You're too kind!” Felix finally exclaimed loudly, finally looking up at Chan. Chan jumped a little at the volume of his voice, but let him rant. He was finally talking and at this state of mind, he would most likely spill what has been bothering him, so Chan had no intention of stopping him. So he didn’t say a word, just listening intently Felix vent.
“You’re too kind and I’m too anxious! You have to stop being so kind and generous! It makes me feel so guilty and scared, because I don’t know when can I pay you back or will I be able to pay back at all! Like you gave the expensive ass AirPods and I’ve been working so hard to get money to pay you back and then when I thought it all would go well, you and Woojin want to take all of us to an amusement park!” Felix ranted on, a little breathless when he finally got everything said that had been on his mind lately. The only noise that could be heard in the whole entire dorm was Felix’s heavy breathing. Felix nailed his gaze onto the floor, head hanging low and tears pooling in his eyes again. He had been crying too much lately. But he was so tired. His body felt heavy, his mind was still whirling and even breathing felt hard. Those realizations that he had been trying to block out in order to continue on, now kind of crushed him on the spot. The tears started falling and he couldn’t even stop them, or the sobs that started racking his body.
“What do you mean… Worked so hard?” Chan asked carefully, seeing how upset Felix was. Felix stomped to the room where his paycheck and contract of employment from Café WhipCream were, taking them from his drawer beside his bed. He walked back to kitchen, handing the papers to Chan, not meeting his eyes. Felix slid down onto the floor, leaning his head against his knees and then wrapping his arms around them. Chan felt dread pinching his stomach as he read through the papers that Felix had given him. Now everything made sense. Why Felix was so tired, where he disappeared so often… He felt so… Sad for the younger, but at the same time he was fond. Only Felix would go to this extent to pay back to people that he cared about.
“Felix… You don’t need to pay us back, they’re gifts. You’re not supposed to pay back. We give them out of kindness, not with the intention that we want something in return. You’re enough, Lix”, Chan said soothingly, sitting down next to Felix on the floor. He took the Australian boy into his arms, holding him close, whispering reassuring words and rubbing Felix’s back up and down in a calming manner.
“I’m not too kind. You, Lee Felix, are too kind and too anxious. But it’s okay, we’ll work on it. It’s okay”, Chan said, squeezing just a little tighter. Felix sniffled quietly and nodded, pressing closer to Chan. He listened to Chan’s steady heartbeat, felt his arms around him. He was going to be okay. It’s okay if he was a little too kind, a little too anxious.
"But can I still pay you back the AirPods, please?"
"Lee Felix!"
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reddogf13 · 5 years
Text
Covenant Ch: 1
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summery: ��They did it, IT was left to die alone in the tunnels under Derry. months have passed and the losers thrived after what seems to feel like a curse lifting off the town. if only Beverly had not decided to make a last minute deal with IT on its death bed. will her choice to let IT live destroy all that she holds dear?
status: complete
rated: M - fowl language and gore
next chap: Covenant ch:2
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~ch: 1 do we have a deal?~
After all they'd been through. What the clown put them through. They were all on the brink of finishing it. Hit after hit avoiding the chomping, drooling, jaws of IT. The twisted forms it made to desperately scare them back. The losers club had it surrounded in a circle ready to attack as it spat out the ridged iron bar Beverly had shoved down its throat.
It was beaten down ragged. Seemingly have nothing left to throw at the children. They thought IT was finished. IT had to retreat if it wanted to live and must know that, but they were wrong.
IT hissed and wheezed before letting out a deep inhuman growl. ITs body growing in loud cracks with the silver clown costume shredding apart to fall in bits to the floor. The while skin turning to hardened scales. Multiple fiery glowing eyes appearing with twisted otherworldly pupils. Jaws stretching to multiple rows extending out. Stretching itself out to sprout more and more limbs upon its body.
The losers returned to each others side at ITs growing length. Avoiding the possibility of being separated by its long sharp scaled tail ending in a pair of crushing pincers.
IT laughed at the covering losers under its 15ft foot height. 8 fiery glowing eyes staring down into their very souls. Below them was a large grin of jagged teeth layered up inside its long snout. Its red mouth marking remaining along its lips to cross by a pair of its eyes. Hard jagged layered scales circling at its neck resembling the once ruffled lace collar.
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“aww, what's wrong?” IT laughed down to the small prey in a deep echoing booming voice. Sounding as if two voices were speaking. a low pitch and a high pitch warping together as one.
Stretching a wide grin of uneven drool dripping teeth.“not having fun anymore?” stepping closer on long slender spider limbs. Followed by the multiple crawling centipede ones tapping at the stone floor. Stopping to let out a snarling wheeze over them all. A wave of its rotten breath hitting them into wincing away for a moment.
One that IT took its chance on. Lunging its wide jaws at them in a deafening roar. Missing all of them leaping out of the way to safety. IT smashing right into a large wall so hard it crack off the concrete. Chunks falling off the broken wall to collect at the floor in piles. IT letting out a groaning growl to shake off the concrete crumbling over it. Turning to face the losers now attempting to beat it down again with no success. ITs new scaled hide being far too tough to be messed by all the losers weapons. They may as well have been ants beating a armored tank with what little harm they caused.
IT lunged toward Bill, who was the closest, with a loud snap of its jaws missing their fleeing target. Hissing out a wheeze toward the reassembling group. ITs once confident gate now struggling to shift itself around. Heavily breathing toward them as if its lungs had popped under all the stress. The powerful movements of its tail turning into an unhelpful weight on struggling legs.
“who's wheezing now clown?!” Eddie shouted from within the losers close group. “Wished you had an inhaler now, don't cha!”
The large otherworldly creature hissing aggressively into a forward step toward them. Limbs shaking to finally collapse entirely onto the stone. The losers all watching it carefully for any possible tricks. IT hissing and growling from its spot. Jaws threateningly agape toward the group caught by mike as hiding something else.
“i think ITs dying.” mike whispered to the group. Bill glancing over his shoulder to him.
“how do you know?” asking without fully taking his eyes off IT.
“we had to hunt coyotes on the farm that were killing sheep. they would act just like this when cornered, desperate, at the end of their rope in traps. Mouth wide open, lots of snapping and noises to try and get us to leave them alone. They couldn't even move when we found them like that. I think ITs used up the last of its energy.” explaining similar situations on their family farm.
“what if it's a trick?” skeptical of the massive creature known for hiding its true self.
Ben spoke up. “what can we do if its not? None of our hits are doing anything. Not even a dent.”
Stanley spoke up next. “i am not staying down here for hours to maybe watch IT die. I definitely won't be coming back once we leave.” fidgeting to fix his ruffled clothes.
“this might do it!” Richie shouted in flinging his bat flying to smack against ITs face. Bouncing off to land not too far off to ITs side. IT letting out a growl and nothing more at the attack. Richie stepping away from the group despite protests. Arms pulled off his shirt with a hop away from the others concerned reach.
The losers watching him slowly approach it. Beverly breaking off soon after to follow right behind him. Walking by under ITs glaring eyes right up to the thrown bat. Richie firmly taking the leather wrapped metal handle into hand.
IT lunging toward them scaring them back a few steps. Stopping at realizing IT was unable to get a full on lunge. More of a quick snap toward the air in front of them. Nowhere near close to actually reaching them. The two calmly walking back to rejoin the group in full confidence mike was right.
“ IT can't do anything.” Beverly announcing to both the losers and IT. Bill nodding to them all that they had reached their goal of finishing it, for the most part.
“so what do we do with IT?” mike looking to bill for an answer.
“like Ben said. N-n-nothing we can do if we can't hurt it now. We leave, wait IT out, till it starves.” speaking the last part louder toward the struggling creature working on just breathing.
“we'll all – most of us will come and c-c-check later to see if its died yet.” speaking to the group. They all gave it one last glare as they walked toward the exit.
IT wheezed in a huge breath to snarl. “where are you all going?! Too afraid to face me?! I'll come back! I'll devour you all! You're all meat ready to be devoured!” IT roared after them from its fallen place. Even far down the tunnels the losers could hear its struggled wheezing for air.
Eddie took a deep breath of air once outside the drainage pipe. “finally, fresh air!” facing with arms raised toward the warm inviting sun.
“you said it.” Stan agreed. Taking up some river water to wash ITs slimy drool off his face.
“whelp, there goes all of our summer! Fuckin here comes school! We should go back and demand that clown to refund our summer!” Richie shouted. Everyone slouching for a moment at the reminder of school. As if they haven't have been through enough stress.
“hopefully I'll still be going to school.” Beverly mumbled.
“why? Are you running away?” Ben asking her bringing the attention of everyone else on her.
“i might have to or else I might be heading to juvenile hall. Before IT grabbed me I got into a fight with my dad. Bashed his head in with the toilet cover. I don't know If he's alive or not.”
“we can help hide you.” bill offered.
“where?! In the haystacks of mike's barn?!” Richie exclaimed. Getting a glare from bill.
“no, I plan to call my aunt who lives in the RV park. I think she'll help.” swallowing nervously at the thought of what she would even say.
“i also gotta get back to my mom. She must be freaking out since I ran off to help. I'll be lucky if there aren't cops at my house.” Eddie panicked. Shuffling out his inhaler for a breath of medication.
“go home and update later?” bill looked to everyone. Getting nods mixed with yes's. Everyone splitting off in their own way home.
The remaining vacation days sped by for them all. After the battle with IT the losers discovered Henry had survived with some massive mental trauma. Being found around the many dead bodies of other children washed out of the sewers. Arrested on the spot to be later put on trial for all the murders IT had done that summer. His case eventually settled on him being mentally unfit. Sent off to be held in a mental hospital for life.
Beverly, after calling her aunt for help, was investigated by police. Opening up a whole different case with CPS at hearing her reasons of defense. Unfortunately, upon investigation of the house her father was missing. The police having no luck in finding his whereabouts either. Setting out a warrant for him to be arrested on sight to be brought in for questioning. After everything was as settled as it could be, Beverly was placed in her aunts care.
Eddie of course was grounded for forever by his mother or until he moved out. Richie helping to bring Eddie news from the outside world. Convincing him now and again to sneak out. Ben, bill, and Stan helping as well by bringing snacks he wasn't allowed. All playing together or walking the long trip over to Beverly's new home. Where she seemed much happier to be.
School had started up again for them all. Freely hanging out with each other now on the grounds. No worries of the bowers gang spotting them. Things were looking much brighter and IT being almost completely forgotten. The traumas they all faced seeming to be healing on their own while days passed.
All except for Beverlys.
Her problems had stayed open wounds, always had been. The boys feared the clown, who was now gone. Her father and those horrible rumors still haunted her. Still being reminded she was the school slut by Greta Keene on a daily basis. The richest girl in Derry who mocked all the losers, because they weren't like her. Kids whose families didn't have a penny to their name. Throwing trash onto Beverly in the bathroom. Being so cruel as to write loser across Eddies cast. Beverly caught her cruel attention the most out of the group. Spreading rumors to every boy she could that Beverly was an easy lay.
The guys trying their best to help her over these rumors, but there was only so much they could do. Further rumors starting up of why she was friends with all the guys. After some kid talked about seeing them all exiting the sewers after that big fight with IT. Greta took her chance to spread a really nasty rumor. Claiming that Beverly had, had an orgy with them all down there. Beverly's problems were all rooted in everyday life, not from the clowns involvement. She overcame IT, but was he really an obstacle for her?
She was never afraid of IT, never afraid to rush in and face IT. To face death itself no matter how painful it could be. Maybe this is why she wanted to build things up instead of tearing them down. To leave something behind and be remembered for something greater than “the town slut.”
for now she held nothing more than a high grade record. Taking it all day by day without much further thought to it.
Until one sunny bright day, on the 18th of September.
walking her way home from school she looked down at a childs chalk drawing of a turtle colored across the sidewalk. The child chalk art stretching up the bridges wood railing as sketches of kelp. Surrounded in brightly colored various fish. Having her gaze lead to the flowing river below. Reminding her of the water drain which then reminded her of IT.
“none of us have checked in for a few months. It has to be dead by now.” thinking as she looked at the running water. some part of her urging her to go check without giving a second thought to the danger she was walking in on alone.
Scaling down the rocky hill from the bridge road. Walking along the rocky river shore under the shade of multiple branches. Stopping at the dark drainage pipe entrance to push aside thick grown over roots of trees. Carefully traversing the dark pipe maze to the center. Approaching out into the large clearing of ITs nest. The massive tower of junk mixed toys having toppled over at some point. Half the hoard scattered far across the stone. The large skylight above, now cleared of the blocking horde, was now gracing the room in a glowing light. Giving a less feeling of gloomy death lingering.
Noticing right away, more importantly, that IT had somehow moved from where it was to halfway be inside its nest. White scaled tail brightly lit under the falling sunlight. Blending past the run down wagons entrance into the darkness concealing the rest of IT. Concern hopping into the back of her mind on what else IT could have accomplished. Brushing it off at remembering how ITs condition was the last time. Being barely able to breath, stand, or move at all. How long exactly could it have taken IT to move over this measly space? A week, a month, or this entire time to get only this far in the nest?
Walking over as quiet as she could in listening for its breathing. Neither hearing or seeing its body move to inhale. Not even a twitch at her approach.
“dead?” thinking at the sight as she cautiously climbed up to the entrance. The back of the wagon pushed down to reveal the inner core of the pile. It was hallow all the way up to the top that now had light pooling in where the fallen half used to cover. Stopping herself from studying the pile she looked back down over the coiling insect body before her.
Tracking it's body to find it's head as quickly as possible. Finding the other half of its body twisting over to slip underneath the rotten wagon down into a hidden hole.
“didn't see this.” peering down into the hole getting just enough light pooling in to see the outlined shape of IT. Mainly scanning where the head of him was resting. The bright red marking of ITs face almost a glowing beacon under light. Coiled up at the bottom on the half of its long body it managed to get down.
Scanning over the wall down she could see the rough wall was going down into an easily climbable slope. Taking a deep breath as she slipped down into the hole. Climbing down to the bottom to look over IT in absolute silence. Not daring to say anything as she did another scan over the still child eater.
Taking a moment of curiosity to study ITs features up close. The light grey skin covered in various splotches of darkening grey. The multiple centipede like legs bearing a dark purple color that could almost count as black. Praying mantis like arms having the same color covered in dark forward facing spikes. One being spread to show itself as a hidden hand over a giant lone claw the other stayed as. Large long antennas on its head bearing an appearance to horns if only they weren't so limp against is head at the moment.
ITs snout having six nostrils resembling heat pits a large snake would have. Eyes were all closed, but a better description would be missing. Unable to see any eyelid seams where the eyes would open. Following the head was its white jagged scales lined in black down to its first pair of legs. That were then followed by 3 more pairs of lengthy spider legs totaling them up to 8. excluding all the smaller centipede legs lining down its body. Counting out a quick 19 from what she could see, possibly being three times that.
Reaching a hand out to touch the unmoving creature. Feeling its smooth scaled body before it lunged up to snap toward her without warning. Startling Beverly back into standing away from IT. watching its eyes appear through opening seams that certainly weren't there before. aiming the glowing gaze of each eye toward her in a wheeze. Clacking its jaws together in some threatening show that it could still bite.
“what are you doing here?!” IT hissed. “come to finish the job? Or to mock me on my deathbed?!” wheezing afterwards.
Beverly thought about not answering at first. “No.” Simply answering the creature. Despite what IT did, She didn't come to kick IT while it was down. Not feeling herself to be so cruel despite knowing IT wouldn't do the same for her.
Bearing its teeth in opening its jaws a little wider showing off that burning orange light seeping from its throat. Beverly looked away from the burning light, even if it was barely enough to glow she could still feel a harsh heat off it. She wasn't taking the risk of being under the dead lights effects a 2nd time.
“then piss off!” hissing aggressively at her. She sighed in ignoring it's aggressive attitude. Looking up from where she came from.
Gazing back down at the whole room like area with a question coming to mind. “Why is this here?”
“... Did you just make this for your grave?” Asking the hissing bug laying not too far.
“No! Not while you keep disturbing me! Got nothing better to do then gawk at me? Go fuck off and choke on a cock!” Snapping at her in more aggressive vulgar language. Not phasing Beverly as she had heard it all. Every insult possible about her being a whore in some way.
Brushing off the insult to think over this area again. “IT wouldn't have enough energy to make this. It must be old, but why build it? Seems unnecessary with all the tunnels to hide in. then there's the, what used to be, huge tower of things.”
“The walls must be very fascinating. Gonna fuck them too?” Hissing at her in a tone building more irritated each time.
“What's this room for?” Outright asking.
“None of your snot nosed business cock sucker!” Roaring at her now as Beverly expressed further interest in the hidden room.
“Hiding something.” Confirming to herself in thought. Walking around in exploring the area making IT even more agitated. Snapping at the air in an empty threat of clacking teeth. Body twitching in trying to move at least a little. Letting out another deep hiss that turned into a weak wheeze for air. Staring Beverly down as she headed toward a particular area.
Approaching the area had her wincing under a rotten stench. Anxious that IT possibly had a hidden stash of rotten food down here she pushed forward. Noticing ITs furthering agitated behavior when she did. Coming up around to a small crevice in the wall where the scent was most strong. Looking inside to see weird looking globs clustered together in light webbing. Reaching to grab one for a closer look had her stopped by IT screeching.
“DON'T TOUCH THEM!” The loud shriek requiring all of the air in ITs lungs. Wheezing deeply following the massive outburst.
Looking from IT back toward the orbs. Only looking at them closer instead of touching. Figuring out from it's reaction that they had to be eggs, but none of them looked well.
Parts of the clutch shriveled up like grapes from what used to be a smooth teardrop shape. from what Beverly guessed by other, more full, leaking eggs. Almost all of them split open in some way to leak a thick green slime. The source of the rotting smell that flowed all down to the floor in a disgusting sticky pool. After accidentally stepping into the slime she winced while moving away. The rotten muck stretched off the bottom of her moving shoe.
“Are they ... all gone?” Asking IT at the sight of them. Doing her best to be somewhat considerate of asking if they were dead.
“All because of you filthy brats!” Wheezing after still not having caught up on air. “You ruined my hunts! I couldn't feed them! I should have finished you all off in that house! Have them feast on your pathetic skins!” Ranting at her with a look of wanting to say a lot more, but didn't have the air to.
It would be a lie for Beverly to say she didn't feel bad. Unintentionally killing all of ITs kids, but then again who knows how they would have turned out. Their hatching leading to the devouring of children spiking to extremes. Spreading to other towns nearby like a plague. Perhaps, like people, they could have also developed their own personalities not based on their … mothers? No way of possibly knowing now.
A twinge of guilt increasing at connecting the fact IT had crawled over to die next to it's already dead brood. Did it all really have to end this way? Could something be changed for the sake of everyone's future?
“I am sorry.” She apologized.
“Sorry?! You little fuckers will be sorry!” Roaring again on what little air it wheezed in.
“ … Yelling won't change anything. ... Do you want help?” Watching it huff over her question.
“ help?! What help are you?! Why bother helping me at all?!” Questioning her as if the offering was a trap. “you can help me by feeding me your limbs!”
“I am tired, i am sure Derry is tired, of all the deaths around here. So, maybe, we can make a deal?” Getting another wheezing huff from IT as if insulted
“Make a deal with you?! Gawh! Little worm! Are you so pea brained?! Make a deal with you? Hah! What a funny joke you’ve made! Why should i?! You don't know whom you speak to! I am an eater of worlds! A living nightmare that will never go away! I will devour you all like the pathetic prey you are! And you assume you are on the same step as me to offer any sort of deal?!” Laughing through a grin of jagged teeth.
“You were desperate enough to try making a deal over bill's life. I ain't the one on death's door laughing about being all powerful while having a wheeze ten times worse than Eddies.” Scoffing back at ITs mightier than thou attitude. Dropping the mighty grin off ITs face to growl through its bared teeth.
“why?” hissing at her. “why make deals? The universe made us to be enemies. It would be moronic of you to spare the one to cause your end.” a confused tone under all its wheezing.
“... a chance to change something for the better?” shrugging her shoulders slightly. “have something go right in Derry for once. Willing to be the one to take a chance. You don't want to die. Take your pick of reasons.” she being not so sure herself on why. Only going off her inner will to make things better somehow.
“Do you want a deal or not? I won't come back for any answer after i leave today.” Tone serious on her threat. ITs many eyes slowly closing to disappear one by one into its head. Not answering her as it contemplated.
“What's the deal?” IT mumbled out, barely understandable. Beverly giving her own pause of contemplation.
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