kayn and rhaast are so car seat headrest coded bro... "they were connected" BUT LITERALLY.

Love the slight AUs where Bruce as Batman has been a member of the league for ages, but he's somehow managed to keep his assortment of children under the radar.

Because it sets up the wildest misunderstandings within the league. He routinely talks about his babies, his children who are all so sweet and kind and occasionally assholes yes but only because they are young (and traumatized) hell I don't think the league would even be aware that they're adopted. So they're all thinking literal children

Barry: Bats really loves his kids.

Hal: I mean they're babies, wait till they hit the angsty teens and I'm sure we'll be hearing the opposite

Which means the day they finally meet Nightwing they don't know wtf to think. For one thing, how old would he have been when he had this kid???? Should they be worried about that???? And for the other, that is not a baby, that is not a precious little thing.

He could break someone in half. Like a twig.

He won't, but he could. And they can see that. (He's bat trained, they have seen what the bat can do they are not fools)

And they're like, okay. Okay maybe he isn't the baby (he is). He's got younger kids right? He's never said how many, they have 0 clues. They've been expecting 1 child, maybe 2 because he'd said kid in the plural exactly once when comforting an older woman while they were searching for her children in the aftermath of a rough battle.

And then a week later they run into Red Hood. In his leather, with his guns. And he drapes himself across Batmans back with all the self confidence in the world and starts whining about the "Brat" breaking into his safe house.

To steal his dog.

And yet again. He is not baby. He is bigger than Batman. He could probably break Batman in half given the bat didn't put up a fight. But Batman looks at him with probably the softest expression they've ever seen on that mans face and tells him very earnestly that the kid just wants to spend time with his older brother, next time they should try a walk. Maybe go to the zoo.

But probably not one of the babies. They're kind, and gentle, and at least one just loves reading and Bats has been trying to encourage that!!!

And then a day later he mentions his "babies" going for a walk in the park and they all instantaneously lose their minds at the confirmation.

why do i imagine the batfam finally meeting the league and then one of them going 'how the fuck do you have so many kids?' and little shit Jason goes 'well, when two people love each other very much...' and because Bruce doesn't wanna listen to this, he tiredly reminds Jason: 'you're adopted' which naturally means that Jason is going to dramatically pretend that this is the first time he's heard that and how could Bruce keep this from him, much to the horror of the league and the exasperation of Bruce

idea: batman and the robins never acknowledge that there have been different robins. like they all act that there's only been one and that they're the same person basically.

Justice League who's used to teen dick not kid jason: who is this child?

Batman: what do you mean, it's robin.

-

Batman and Tim walking through the watchtower:

Justice League who remembers robin literally dying: ...*side eye*...

-

Flash: batman… who is this?

Batman: robin. you’ve met before. several times.

Flash: no, i met a black haired boy. this is a blonde girl!

Batman: her name is robin

-

Superman: it's time for you to explain. where are you getting all these children?

Batman: i have no idea what you're talking about.

Superman *pointing to damian*: who is this kid?!

Damian: i'm robin. i'm offended you would even ask that? don't you remember *proceeds to recite a story dick told him of his robin days*

Villain swaps Bruce and Clark minds.

Bruce: I get the "man of steel" now. *Punches villain*

Clark: Why...Why...WHY ARE YOU SO MUCH IN PAIN ?!

Bruce: What do you mean ? I took a 12 hours break yesterday, I'm as fresh as a newborn.

Literally anyone meeting bruce and his family for the first time: So how did you get so many kids by 30?

Dick: HE WAS A TEENAGE DELINQUENT

Jason: *shouting over him* HE LEFT MY MOTHER AT THE ALTAR

*tim is sitting, just happy to be included*

Bruce: BE-quiet.  They're ADOPTED!

Jason: *not a beat missed* Because he’s never known the touch of a woman.

More than half the League is betting at any time that they know when it's actually Batman under the mask, or someone else. Unfortunately, they were wrong when:

Dick was doing a phenomenal job of playing Bruce (didn't give himself away even once by smiling), because he fell asleep

Batman stubbed his toe against a table and swore like a sailor which led to cash exchanging hands as several people figured it was Jason, but Bruce had recently switched out of Matches Malone to dress up as Bats and hadn't shaken the Mindset yet

Batman's suit sat weirdly empty at the table and Oliver, annoyed, tried to tell Damian that this was too serious a meeting for Bruce to delegate, but it was Batman, hit with a de-ageing spell and too stubborn to sit out

After sustaining pretty serious injuries, Batman was whiteknuckling the table, in an awful mood, and nobody thought anything of it. Barry offered to help Bruce up (if the pain was keeping him trapped, trying not to insult Batman too much), and Jason tightly replied that if he moved the suit was going to tear.

Clark and Bruce had a bet for how long they could replace Bruce with a mannequin without anyone noticing, and because Clark kept looking over at "Bruce" and giggling (pretty par for the course for them), nobody noticed for five hours.

Always loves those fics or headcanons where the Justice League just has no clue about the existence of the Batfamily. And usually it's because Bruce wanted to maintain his image of being all mysterious or because he wants to protect his family or something.

But I think it's infinitely better if he just assumes they know. Like, Dick has been around since he was like 10, and he's into his 30's now, Bruce assumes that he had to come up in conversation at some point.

Besides, as secretive as they are, the news in Gotham has to pick up on and connect the family together, at least vaguely, so surely the rest of the league has taken note of that. Signal fights crime in broad daylight, for christ's sake.

Except, in general, they just don't. Sure, Superman and Wonder Woman maybe know, but Flash? Green Arrow? No.

Then one day they need extra hands on a mission, so a handful of the various bats and birds are called in, cue bafflement. On both sides.

Because Bruce assumes that he doesn't need to explain himself. Everyone else assumes he's being secretive on purpose.

Barry: Why did you never tell us you have an entire family/small vigilante army hiding in Gotham?

Bruce: My children are literally friends with the rest your family.

-cue Wally and Bart speeding past them the moment they see Dick and Tim from across the room-

DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game

Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter. 

Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.

The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge. 

And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).

And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game. 

Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.

(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).

After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely). 

Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.

Random SFW headcanons using a random number generator !

Aphelios, Sett, and Aatrox

these are x reader (and found here!)

Aphelios

7. Getting protective over you

Aphelios has never been one to let his emotions get the best of him, but handling his feelings becomes a real challenge when it involves you.

It's not that he doesn't trust you- you're pretty much the only one he trusts (other than Alune, of course)- but he can't help but feel a little upset when someone's touch lingers on you a bit too long, or when their stare becomes a little too intense... He loves you, and he does everything he can to make it clear that you're his. Whether it's snaking his arm around you when you're sitting down together or a subtle kiss on the cheek if he feels like someone's getting a little too close (though honestly, he'd do these things anyway), he does everything he can to make it known that you're his.

He'll completely lose it if you're actually in danger, though; he refuses to lose another loved one. If you get hurt (even if it had nothing to do with him), he'll feel guilty for not protecting you. He won't let you out of his sight for the next few days- or weeks- depending on the severity of your injuries. Aphelios tries not to smother you, but he can be a little overprotective at times. He never means any harm of course- he only wants to keep you by his side for as long as possible.

Sett

10. Joking around with you

Sett is constantly joking around with you… It's just the kind of person he is. If he’s joking about you, never says anything that will hurt your feelings- just playful teases and pranks.

He often makes you laugh until you both can’t breathe. He doesn’t even have to try to be honest, you have the type of relationship where simple eye contact can send you guys into a laughing fit. Sett is pretty playful, and his “jokes” don’t stop at silly remarks…

Occasionally he’ll sneak up behind you just to startle you, or pick you up and make you stop whatever you’re doing just to be annoying (although really, it’s actually because he wants some attention).

Aatrox

8. Hugging you

He is touch starved. Aatrox isn’t the most outwardly affectionate, but he still enjoys being close to you. Actually, hugging is one of his favorite ways to show you he loves you.

If you’re sad, he’ll hold you close and let you talk about what’s bothering you for as long as you want. If you’re happy and hug him out of excitement, he’ll squeeze you just as tightly (obviously not tight enough to hurt you, though). He’ll even wrap his arms around you sometimes and just sit in comfortable silence– and if you’re cuddling he might just fall asleep.

He used to be a little embarrassed to ask you for hugs, so you never really received them unless you initiated them. Now, you rarely go a few hours without feeling his arms wrap around you (not that you’re complaining!).

actually sett is half asian bc ionia is more or less based on asia and the vastaya are native to ionia and hes half noxian half vastayan so hes actually wasian in this essay i will

Barry: Hey Clark, we heard about your recent breakup. Really sorry to hear that, man.

Clark: [gloomily] Yeah...

Bruce: [stares out the window]

Arthur: You will meet someone better suited for you one day—your destined soulmate.

Clark: I hope so.

Bruce:

Hal: I mean, who wouldn't go for you? You're strong, smart and handsome!

Clark: Thanks Hal.

Barry: Yeah! I’m sure you'll meet someone who's just as kind and attentive and knows how to cheer you up whenever you're feeling down.

Clark: Mn.

Hal: Hey, there's this new bar that just opened up in downtown Metropolis! We should go and check it out this weekend! Whaddya say?

Arthur, Hal and Barry stare expectantly at Bruce.

Bruce: [slowly turns to look at Clark] I like the look of your bleeding heart.

Arthur, Hal & Barry: ???

Clark: [visibly cheers up] Thanks Bruce! You know, it took a few attempts to grow those flowers in outer space, but I finally got it right! They look slightly different from those cultivated on Earth, but I find them unique. I'm glad you like them too!

Arthur, Hal & Barry: It worked?!

Batman having a recording of a heartbeat softly play in his suit so that Superman thinks he has two hearts to throw him off his scent because he's paranoid, but then one day it breaks and Superman freaks out, because "Batman where did your other heartbeat go?!!?!" and Bruce panics and says: "I split into two," like he's some sort of cryptid and everyone goes ???, luckily he has Robin to introduce them to. It's not until much later when they all reveal their identities that they learn that it's not true and all the bats and birds that are running around were not parts that ripped free from Batman. Though not before the whole family has had a whole lot of fun creating nonsense rumors just to fuck with people.

Random things I like to hc :

(here's part 2)

- Constantine calling Batman "love" anytime.

"Good plan, love. Now, if I may add..."

- Diana constantly fighting the urge to add multiple times in the footnotes of her research papers : "*I know that because I was there."

- Clark feeling some type of way whenever anyone from the Batfam calls him Uncle Clark (he does tear up a little the first few times).

- Anytime, Booster would get cancelled for a tweet, he'd go back in time just far enough to prevent from tweeting it. He did that way too many times.

- Barry and Hal being that one best friend duo that are big on PDA. Most of the time during JL meetings, Hal's leg would be intertwined with Barry's.

- Given that the way they usually interact correlates with what he learned about married couples, J'onn assumed for the longest time that Bruce and Clark were spouses.

- Much like how Clark switches off his kansan accent when he's being Superman, Bruce switches off his "posh" accent when he's being Batman.

- On the contrary, Oliver always sounds filthy rich.

- Everytime someone mentions (any) Robin, Hal's mind still can't fathom that Batman's sidekick is a literal child.

- Dick is a bisexual flirt in and out of costume.

- Regular occurence : Batman enters the meeting room, sees Booster's stupid expression that's a clear sign he's going to share very stupid ideas, and Batman exits the room without a word. He doesn't come back for the rest of the meeting. After it happened more than once, some of the members get the clue and walk out as well.

- Superman can recite entire movies by heart. Not surprising in and of itself, but surprising that Bruce silently lets him do it over his shoulder when he's working in the batcave. Lets Clark unwind and gives Bruce background noise.

- After multiple complaints, Batman had to soundproof Dinah and Oliver's room in the watchtower.

People only find out how ripped Bruce is after he becomes a father.

I like to think that Bruce doesn’t have an extremely toned bod where you can immediately see every one of his muscles and ridiculously jacked body.

I advocate for the dad bod, where he hasa bit of fat and no one truly sees how ripped they are.

That was, until his kids.

One day during a casual wear meeting everyone’s jaw drops when Bruce single-handedly picks Dick up to stop him from doing something that would definitely cause bodily harm, and they see the muscle flex.

The reporters all drop their pens, and the women spend the rest of the time trying every excuse to get him to flex again. And so are the men.

Or when Jason is sitting in the library and during an attempted robbery the attacker topples the bookcases, only to see Bruce stand over Jason and stop the several frames from crushing him.

With just his bare hands.

It leads to the robber trembling in fear, seeing all the muscles and sudden hulk figure turn to him in rage, and the robbers give up without much of a fight after that.

Or when Tim and Damian are at an event, both inconspicuously trying to back out before Bruce appears behind them and unceremoniously picks them up by the scruffs of their clothes, lifts them both off their feet and dumps them onto the dining chairs.

The final straw is when a picture appeared on the internet of the Wayne family trying to reach a trapped cat on top of a tree.

The photo revealed Bruce at the bottom, holding up Jason who was holding Dick who was raising Tim who was holding Damian who was standing on his toes to coax the cat down.

Since then, the public has become increasingly aware obsessed with Bruce’s physique, with people going to great lengths just to try and see just how ripped he is.

.. and they’re not the only ones.

Even the league, pre-reveal, were are obsessed over it. Diana did a double take and has secretly saved files of them, Black Canary tries every opportunity she can to meet Bruce, Oliver choked on his bagel when he saw the images, Clark choked on air and Barry couldn’t even tear his eyes away.

Meanwhile the Wayne kids have to deal with the thirsty public and superheroes, and are increasingly more ready to commit unspeakable war crimes.

dick: justice league crushes, go. mine is superman jason: wonder woman duke: wonder woman as well steph: zatanna tim: lois lane dick: she’s not— tim: lois lane *bruce walks in* bruce: what are you guys talking about? duke: our jla crushes bruce: oh🤨? don’t mind me… *everyone mentally calculating how best to annoy bruce* damian: green arrow dick: i rescind my earlier statement. green arrow jason: me as well. green arrow steph: yeah, green arrow duke: agreed. green arrow tim: green arrow, 100% cass: *signing* green arrow cullen: tim green arrow bruce: *crying* cass you don’t even LIKE men