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heyhilana · 1 year

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One Shot Till the End (Javier Peña)

Summary: A raid almost goes wrong, and you're sent to take some time off until you can return to the office. But Javi, your boss, is tasked to care for you and figure out what to do when patriarchy is against you and your job is at risk. But as the days go on, both of you wonder if a case of saving one's life blurs the lines of boss and agent.

A/N: Hi! This has been something I've been wanting to finish for ages but I always had something coming up that kept me from doing it. But now I have inspiration and time to put this out and I'm v happy with how it turned out. I hope you all enjoy it 💙

Pairing: Javier Pena (Cali Cartel era) x !f agent/reader

Warnings: Violence, shooting, mentions of blood, stitches, male patriarchy (yes, I know this is not v girl boss of me but I promise Javi turns out better in the end).

Word Count: 12.8k (I had to add things oopsies)

Masterlist

The moment you felt the car stop, you felt your heart stop with it. The whole ride from the Embassy to the abandoned building you could feel yourself shake, the goosebumps rising and the hairs on your neck sticking out as you couldn’t shake that feeling that this was a bad idea. Everything about this raid screamed danger because of how easy it was. There were no hiccups, no backup plans, just a plan A and that was all that was needed. It felt odd to you because nothing in your line of work was easy. Everything was complicated from the moment you stepped into that Embassy and got a briefing of who you were against.

When you voiced your concerns to Feistl and Van Ness, they looked at you as if you had twenty heads, feeling as though you were letting the stress of the job get into your head. And you wouldn’t dare say anything to Peña, knowing that the man was as irritable as they come, and he wouldn’t take the time out of his day to listen to you rant when he had to deal with trying to take back the reigns of a city that was held by four Godfathers that were seemingly impossible to take down. So you opted to stay silent, even though your nerves were in a frenzy, and you couldn’t stop your leg from bouncing the entire ride or twiddling with your thumbs.

You hopped out of the car, making sure that your vest was as secure as it could get, and you drew out your gun, feeling the coolness of it go through your body as you felt that soon it would be hot. Javi was out before you, quickly and quietly briefing the men so they could go where they needed to be in the building. Feistl and Van Ness walked over to Peña, taking their orders from him and soon taking the lead of their respective groups. You walked over to him, wanting to know what you had to do here.

“Sir, where do I go?” It was a simple question, but he was somehow annoyed with that question as his eyes narrowed down on you. Deep down, you just wanted to know what you did to receive such negative attention from your superior.

“You stay out here.” His voice was firm as if there was no way that you could wiggle your way out of his decision. Your jaw was slacked when you registered what he was saying to you. How could he bring you out here only to tell you that you were supposed to be on the sidelines? It was as if he didn’t trust you to do your job, despite going through your record in the past and seeing that you were more than qualified for the job. You didn’t know what prompted him to make this decision, but you were damn sure going to get your answer.

“Why can’t I go with you guys? You brought me out here to do my job, not to sit on the sidelines and be the one to do all the paperwork after this whole thing is said and done.” The annoyance you felt surged through your body with every word that escaped your lips, and you could see that it struck a nerve with him as his face hardened.

“Listen, Y/L/N. I make the rules, and I don’t think that you should be going out there with us. After all, you have made it clear to Feistl and Van Ness that this is a bad idea.” Your eyes immediately went into Feistl and Van Ness’ direction, seeing that you were trying to play it off as if they were not listening to the heated conversation you were having with Peña.

“Sir, doesn’t this seem a little off to you? We have never gotten something so easy like this, ever. It’s almost as if this was handed to us by the godfathers.” Javi pondered for a moment, almost considering your words.

“It’s nothing. Just do your job and stay here.”

“My job is to be out there with you guys. Just let me do my job for once.” Your voice was low and unwavering. You were tired of men questioning your abilities, and you were going to take a stand for what you wanted—no more being silent because it was getting you nowhere. If Javi, Feistl, Van Ness, or any of your colleagues/superiors couldn’t believe that you could do it by your file, you were going to do it by force. But he let up, surprising you and Feistl and Van Ness, who were just about to complain. He looked at them, and they stopped before he looked back at you.

“You know what? Fine, you will come with us. But you must always stay with me unless we take separate areas.” You were okay with that as long as you could be out there. Javi didn’t give you a chance to answer as he walked off to the back, you on his tail as you didn’t want to lose him and give him a reason to keep you off the field. He took the left side of the door, and you took the right, giving him a nod and he kicked the door down, moving in quickly yet calculated, so there were no surprises.

You covered his back the more he went in, him turning around and moving his head for you to go upstairs while he cleared the ground floor. You obliged, going up nice and slow and taking controlled breaths so that your aim was not shaky. You made your sharp turns and opened every door, seeing half-naked girls scared, and you were telling them to shush. It led you down to the final door, crimson red paint and slightly ajar, making you gulp. You took a few more steps and opened it nice and slow, only being pulled in by one of the drug dealers and a hand over your mouth to prevent screams. The boss only laughed at you as you flailed around and tried to bite, kick, and hit your way through this situation.

“Is this the best that DEA agent can do? Send in a young girl to do a man’s job? He’s worse than I thought.” He was calm, taking a swig of what was in his glass before getting up and walking over to you. Tears were welling in your eyes as you hoped that Pena was done with clearing the ground floor. He ripped off your vest, throwing it to the side even as you tried to scratch him.

“Move your hand, Jorge.” He moved it, and the minute you went to scream, the boss punched you right in the stomach, winding you completely. You tried to gasp for air but Jorge covered your mouth again.

“Try to fight all you want; your little boyfriend can’t take everyone down.” He punched you again, over and over to the point where you started coughing up blood in the man’s hand and slapped you for it. Little boyfriend, they said, but you were sure that if you made it out alive, he would further scold you for getting into this mess.

“What should we do with her? Sell her? Use her for now? Kill her?” Jorge was handsy, grabbing at your body and making you grimace at him.

“Aw, look at her still trying to fight. I’m going to have a good time with you later,” The boss went right to your neck, smelling you, and you could faintly smell his sweat, pungent cologne, and cocaine all over. You tried to bite Jorge’s hand, but he punched your side, making you yelp. Just as you yelped, you heard Javi call out your name.

“The more you fight, the worse it’s gonna be for you. Let’s bring you outside to the roof.” The boss turned to his men, and they both knew to open up the hidden hatch on the ceiling, the ladder falling down. They pushed you along despite you trying to kick them. The men went up first, and before you knew it, you were being let go, but a gun was placed right on the small of your back. Javi called out your name, and you wanted to scream, but the gun was pushed further into you.

“Make a sound, make a move, and you’re dead.” Jorge nuzzled the gun more into your back. You obliged, knowing that at this rate, they would kill you just for the fun of it. So you went up, still feeling the gun pressed on you until the other men pulled you up and held you close to them. Jorge and his boss followed, and you could see that from below, the rest of the team was down there, ready to shoot.

“Tell them not to shoot, or else we will kill you first.” The gun was placed firmly against your head, the safety being turned off with a click.

“D-Don’t shoot! He will kill me first and then all of you!” You were winded from the earlier beating so it came out more hoarse than clear, but they did lower their guns as Javi busted open the door.

“Where is she?” He was frantic, and Van Ness pointed up at the roof. He locked eyes with you, and from there, you were sure that would be the last time you would see him.

“Your little boyfriend seems angry,” The gun was nudged against your temple. “Maybe I should kill you in front of him.”

“Don’t. We still need him.” The boss spoke firmly, and it made Jorge click his tongue.

“What do you want?” Javi had the megaphone in his hand.

“You let us go, and we give her to you.” It was a long shot, knowing that it would be hard to find them again if you let them go now.

“I can’t do that.”

“Then she dies,” The men walked you to the edge of the roof, the front of your feet dangling off as you almost lost your balance. “Make a choice, or I'll have them throw her off!” They kept pushing you off little by little, the ground seemingly so far as you knew that you wouldn’t survive it if you did fall off. Everyone was looking up at you in fear, and you just wanted to make it out alive. But they pushed you off more, and your foot completely slipped off before Javi broke.

“STOP! I’ll let you guys go!” The boss laughed and had the men pull you back up to the roof, tears streaming down your eyes as you faced death more times than you would like to count. “I’ll come upstairs, and we will trade from there.”

“I knew that you were a smart man.” The boss ordered one of his men to go back down to collect Javi, and the men that were holding you didn’t let you go as Jorge walked over to you.

“Maybe the agent has a soft spot for you,” Jorge commented, and maybe under different circumstances, you would consider his words. But now, they just made your skin crawl because you didn’t want him to die because of you.

Soon enough, Javi had opened the hatch, and the men were behind him, ensuring he didn’t try anything. You didn’t see his gun in his holster, making you wonder if he had another gun or a knife somewhere on him that would be easier to hide. He looked at you, and it was the only time you could recall that he was afraid, genuinely petrified at what could happen, which didn’t help your nerves either.

“I’m glad we could come to an agreement.” The boss was smiling, and you wanted to kick him right in the groin to wipe that smile off his face.

“I’ll have my men leave right now as you give her to me. No tricks.” Somehow, he was calm as he spoke to him, not giving up any authority, at least in the verbal sense.

“You don’t make the rules for this. I do. You call them off now, and when they are away from here, then I will give her to you.” You could see how Javi bit his lip to avoid saying what he was thinking, jaw clicking as he walked to the roof.

“Move out. Make sure you’re out of his sight and away from Havana!” Someone was protesting from below, but he didn’t let them finish, although the name Havana stuck out to you for some reason. “Move. Out. I won’t ask a second time.” You couldn’t see what the men were doing, but you heard the cars speed off, leaving you all alone, outnumbered 4 to 2.

“I’ll give her to you.” The two men walked you over to Javi, and you saw at the bottom of his boot that they had missed a small handgun. They practically threw you into him, and he caught you, moving you out of the way.

“It’s a pleasure doing business with you Americans, but I have other plans.” The sound of a car pulling up made your heart drop to your stomach. They were getting away, and it was your fault for insisting on going.

“Wait. Havana is not a street,” Jorge turned to you both, gun pointing at Javi. “What did you mean by that?” His hand was shaky as you remembered what Havana meant. You saw the faint red dot on the boss’ head, him unaware of what was to come. The shot rang out faster than Jorge could warn his boss, and you saw the bloodshed that came as the sniper shot right away, the boss falling off the roof. The other men pulled out their guns, but they were shot too by two other snipers just as Javi pulled out his gun. Jorge shot at Javi, but you jumped ahead to protect him, taking the bullet as Javi shot at him and got him in the neck.

Jorge fell to the ground, holding his neck as the blood flushed out faster than he could keep it in before succumbing to his wound. You and Javi were on the ground, but as he got up, you felt the dizziness take over, the telltale sign that the shot you took was not simply a flesh wound. You looked down and saw that you were shot in the stomach, blood pooling down to the side.

“J-Javi? Am I going to die?” You felt pain as Javi tried to put your hand on your side to hold it in.

“You’re not going to die. I-I won’t let you,” Franticness was all that you could see, the way he was trying to help you as the cars pulled back around.

“I-It hurts really bad.” You weren’t sure if the odds were in your favor, but from how it felt, you wanted it to stop. Faintly, you hear the hatch opening as Feistl and Van Ness come up.

“Oh shit! Is she okay?” Feistl asked.

“Call an ambulance now!” Feistl used his walkie-talkie to call for help as Javi tried to get you to hold your hand in that same spot for pressure.

“Hey, it’s okay. I-It’s okay, Javi.” You were trying to speak, but your eyes were failing to stay open, and Javi was hitting your leg to stay up.

“Oh no no no. Stay with me, Y/n! Keep those eyes open for me okay?”

“T-Thank you for giving me a chance.” It was barely audible as you blacked out, the only sounds you could hear were Javi yelling at you to get up.

“You’re taking care of her.” Crosby walked over to his desk, loosening his tie.

“You’re assigning me to take care of the kid?” Javi was in disbelief. He expected a reprimanding of some sort, but not this.

“That kid saved your ass when she was the one that told you to not go in.” Javi began to wonder who told Crosby about that.

“Then have someone else do it!”

“This is your mess, Peña. And because I have to clean it up yet again, you should be happy that this is all that’s coming of it.” Crosby’s jaw tightened.

“How long then?”

“Has she awoken yet?” Javi shook his head no.

“I called the hospital. Still out of it after all the blood transfusions.” Crosby sighed.

“When she does get up, you’ll take her home and you’ll only come here to report to me and finish the paperwork for the bust. And besides, this will soften her when you have to give her these,” Crosby handed Javi the papers, and he scanned them to see what they were.

“Transfer papers? Why?” Although he couldn’t stand this arrangement, you were the most qualified despite the shortcomings.

“She doesn’t fit here. Too young, makes rash decisions, it’s going to cost us if we let her stay. Feistl and Van Ness told me enough about how she mixes up files, how she challenges them when they’re the ones teaching her, and with the stunt she pulled, I’ve had enough. I already have to deal with you more than I want to. I can’t have a younger, female version of you running around too.”

“You think she’ll take it?”

“Not right away, but that’s where you come in. You need to convince her so that she’ll leave on her terms and that it won’t blow back on us.” Once again, doing the dirty work he would rather rid his hands clean of, but he was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

“I understand.”

“Now go. I have a meeting in 20.” Javi turned on his heel and walked out the door, the bad feeling settling in his stomach.

“Hey. It’s me, Javi. You’re going to be okay, carino. The doctors said you just have to fight. So fight for me. I mean, fight to live another day.” He held your hand, looking at how soft you looked despite the injury. He didn’t have time to process his feelings due to the mounting pressure he was always under. But now, knowing that you were on the brink of life or death due to you saving him changed his perspective.

Sure, neither of you had shown much interest that was easy to see, but he pieced everything together as he was in and out of the waiting room. Why was he so hellbent on keeping you out of harm's way? Why he went against what Crosby told him and save you by using the old callout he had learned in his training as his last-ditch effort to keep you both alive? He knew you were more than capable, but something kept him from exploring that in the way he should. Hell, you were brighter than Van Ness and Feistl most times, and you had even proved him wrong here and there.

The forbidden fruit he shouldn't have, you were in his gaze, but he fought against it until it was right in front of him. Now you were hanging on by a thread, and he was still contemplating if he should act on his feelings or if he should leave you be. Putting yourself in danger for him was not what he was expecting, and he was unsure if he could bear that loss of you based on you saving him when he didn’t feel that he was worth saving. Often the nights of drinking, the endless flings to numb the pain of earlier days, those cursed cigarettes that you hated but he craved almost as much as he desired you, the dismal thoughts that would probably get him taken off the force if he voiced them. He thought of himself as a functional mess, and he didn’t know if roping you into that was fair.

He was rubbing your hand with the pad of his thumb when you began to stir in your sleep, making his heart race. Tears welled up in his eyes as if he hadn’t been crying for the past few days when he saw you open your eyes, the bright light hurting you.

“If I didn’t know any better, I would think that I’m in the place where I would be looking down at people instead of looking up.” You were croaky, and it only made him smile.

“You’re still stuck here with the rest of us. But here, drink some water and I’ll close the blinds.” He handed you the water and got up to close the blinds, the room becoming a little bit darker for you to tolerate. He sat back down right when you put the cup of water down.

“How long was I out for?”

“3 days. You needed a blood transfusion and you were in and out for most of it.” You could see his tired eyes, light bags underneath them.

“Did we catch them?”

“He’s dead, Gilberto is in custody, and we have a lead on Miguel. It’s not enough to go after him, but after the raid we found enough to at least send some agents out to tail them.”

“I guess me getting shot wasn’t a waste then.” You were relieved, but Javi wasn’t.

“You didn’t have to take the bullet for me, Y/n.” You rolled your eyes.

“You would’ve fallen off the roof if I didn’t.”

“But that would mean you would be alive and well. I’ve lived my life, and while I appreciate it, you have much more to live.” You scoffed. You would’ve thought he was on his deathbed with how he spoke.

“I’m not fragile, Javi. I knew what I was doing when I signed up for this job. Let me do my job.” He grabbed your hand and squeezed it, his gaze softening and your heart softening.

“You’re as stubborn as they said you were when they told me you were transferring over here.”

“Get used to it because I’m not going anywhere.” You squeezed his hand back, and the air in the hospital room felt different. Thicker, eyes saying more than what should be displayed even when it was undefined. You didn’t know what would happen next until the nurse saw the position you guys were in.

“I see someone has finally gotten up.” The nurse brought over the tray that had the morphine bag and other vital checking devices. Javi let go of your hand and got up, much to your dismay.

“I’ll leave now. When you’re free to go tomorrow I’ll pick you up.” You immediately shook your head no, but you regretted it as your side began to hurt.

“Oh Javi it’s okay-“ He stopped you.

“I’m picking you up. End of discussion.” You didn’t understand why he created these sudden obligations for himself, but they made you feel that maybe you were more to him than just a young agent in over her head.

“Yes, sir.” He walked out, and the nurse tended to you, making your mind wander into fantasies that you knew were unattainable but quelled the pain as the nurse fixed your stitches. Taking a bullet for him led to him taking your heart, or at least that was what you were trying to ignore.

You got your cane which made you feel 20 years older, and put it in your lap as they wheeled you out of the building, still doped up on many pain meds as you may or may not have taken an extra pill so you could at least enjoy most of the day. You had a fresh set of clothes that Javi brought for you the day before and your smaller bag, so there wouldn’t be too much tension for your body. The light outside was blinding you, but you could faintly make out the dark silhouette that was waiting for you at the desk.

“You have a cane?” Javi was smirking, and if you weren’t sitting down, you would’ve punched his arm.

“Don’t worry, I’ll give this to you for your birthday next month.” The smirk dropped as the nurse kept wheeling you out to the door. Javi was close behind as she stopped.

“I’ll take her from here,” The nurse walked away, and he helped you get up slowly, careful not to rupture anything. Javi put your bag around you as it slung over your shoulder. “You’re gonna regret saying that.” Now it was your turn to smirk.

“I can still get away from you for a good week.” A week from the Embassy when you spent more time there than in the dingy apartment the government gave you. You didn’t know what you were going to do in those four walls when you were used to shitty coffee, drafts of cigarettes, and paperwork up to your neck for hours on end.

“Nope.” You were perplexed as you walked to the car with him helping you.

“Why is that? You know I can take care of myself.” Javi sighed.

“When did I say that you can’t take of yourself?”

“Right now where you’re insisting on being my caregiver. Javi, It’s just a little shot, but I’m not dead.” Sure, it was touch and go for a while, and while you were sure the pain meds were numbing you to the point where you felt nothing, you could do it yourself.

“It's your first time getting shot. If this was your second or third, that would be different. So you need help, don’t you? To go to the store, cook, and clean. That shot was close to major arteries and you can’t do everything without laying down for a while.” You knew he was right, but you didn’t want him to think that he owed you.

“My neighbor can help me do it. She helps me bring groceries in all the time, and I’ve had some of her leftovers. You don’t have to help me.” You both approached the car, and he opened the door for you, helping you in.

“I’m helping you with that now.” As he took your cane, you rolled your eyes, and you buckled your seatbelt. He closed the door, opening the one behind your to put your cane in before closing it and going over to his side to get in the car. He hopped in, putting on his seatbelt.

“Why is my boss who is supposed to be taking down the Cali Cartel offering to help me go grocery shopping?” You knew there had to be more to this random generosity.

“Because Crosby is tired of my shit.” It all clicked into place for you, but you were still confused about why he was not angrier about it. You figured that he would be grumbling and wanting to do the bare minimum and leave. But he seemed to be content with it, willing to be patient with you.

“Oh. I cost you, didn’t I?” Javi started his car.

“No, you didn’t. It was my call to go in too early, so I can’t blame him for what he did. Just can’t wait to take these sons of a bitches down.” He pulled out of the parking space, hand going onto your headrest as he looked at both sides. Maybe the pills were making everything fantastical for you, but you never took time to notice his slightly unkempt hair, intense eyes, the light lip bite as he gauged his time to pull out, how he drove with one hand to turn. He wasn’t just your boss that was hardened. This, albeit a small action ignited something in you, but you kept those thoughts to yourself.

“We will. But do you even know where you’re going?” He pulled out of the parking lot and moved down the open road, moving his hand away from the headrest.

“You live down the street from me.”

“Oh. I guess the government wanted everyone to be close.”

“Some are spread out, but he only placed you, Jackson, and me in one area. We’re usually in threes, nothing more.” There was still so much they didn’t tell you, and it would probably take for you to go to the back room and spend a whole day going through everything to understand all the redacted parts of your job they failed to mention to you.

“Will we have to move after this incident?”

“Possibly. But with me at your place and Jackson only a few doors down, we should be fine.”

“Thank you, Javi.” You looked at him, and he didn’t physically react as much, only the light jaw clench and his eyes softening a tad.

“Anytime, Y/n.” As you looked down the road, you both sat in silence, sleep lulling you away quickly.

He brought you home, getting out to open the door for you as you put your cane on the ground. He gave you his hand, and that immediate warmth traveled back up to you making your stomach feel much weirder than what just happened a few days ago.

“You better not tell anyone about the cane,” Trying to deflect from the rising goosebumps shooting through your arm, you earned a laugh from him. All that did was make it much worse for you.

“How long do you have to use it for then?” He was walking you up the stairs, going up the second floor.

“The doctor says for two weeks, but since I’m due to go back after one week I’ll stop using it then.”

“You have to use it for two weeks. It’ll hurt you more if you don’t.” You reached your door, and he pulled out the keys from your bag, opening the door and letting you walk in first.

“I’m the youngest person there and also one of the few girls. Don’t need to give them any ideas on trying to get me out of there.” Javi followed in behind you, closing and locking the door.

“If they try anything, they’re gonna have to deal with me.” You laughed as he took off his jacket and put it on the coat hanger.

“I save your life and now you’re going to be my protector?” You kicked off your shoes, thankful that he got you the looser-fitting ones you could slide out of.

“Still your boss, Y/n.” Although there was a joking tone in his voice, it reminded you about the power dynamics in place since you knew that pursuing anything with him could be complicated, to say the least.

“You have the look for it with that mustache.” You joked, trying to clear your head. “Did you want something to drink?”

“I’ll get it. You just sit on the couch.” He walked over to the kitchen, and you saw just how this week was going to go.

“Okay, I will.” You decided not to argue with him and sat down on the couch, getting some relief as you moved your cane to the side. He came back with water for you and a beer for him. “Of course you get a beer.”

“I promise I won’t drink them all.” It was already cracked open as he took a sip, and you were mesmerized by his Adam’s apple and the skin showing around his neck.

“You better not, or else you’re paying for it.” He lightly nudged your leg before going into his pocket and pulling out the cigarette, realizing that he had left his lighter in the car.

“You got a light?”

“Yeah. Check the drawer next to you.” He did and found it, lightening it up, and the orange flame glowed in his face, much to your appreciation.

“Those are going to kill you.” He groaned.

“I’m either getting killed by these or out there.” He pointed out the door, and although it shouldn’t have bothered you, your heart dropped.

“Don’t say that.”

“You worry too much.” He noted.

“Says the one who’s babying me.” You crossed your arms, thankfully that the pain meds were kicked in, as that movement would’ve caused you more pain.

“That doesn’t count.”

“Oh? Why doesn’t it count then?” You cocked your head to the side as he looked at you.

“Because…because you need help. I can take care of myself as you always say.” He raised his brow a little.

“You’re quoting me now? I think I’m growing on you then,” You smiled, and you saw his eyes flicker down to your lips for a mere second before going back up.

“Keep dreamin’.” He grabbed the remote that was on the coffee table and turned it on, setting his feet up on the table and lying back. You did the same, letting him flick through the channels until he settled on a telenovela that seemed to quell your mind away from what was growing inside you.

“Hey. It’s a little after 10. You need to take a shower and get to bed.” Javi tapped your shoulder as he got up.

“Okay. Where’s my cane?” You rubbed your eyes and sat up, already feeling some pain set in.

“Oh. You’re willing to use it now?” He was smirking, and the rare joy in his eyes, even if it came from messing with you, made you look at him differently.

“You know that smart mouth of yours is gonna work against you.” He handed you the cane and helped you get up, steadying yourself as you turned to the hall leading to the bathroom.

“Works for me when I’m talking to a pretty lady.”

“Yeah because you pay them.” You joked, but it was more like a wheeze as you didn’t have much water.

“Querida, you seem to underestimate what I do.” The name change made your heart skip a beat. And that was when you smelt the beer on his breath.

“What happened to just my name?” He caught what he did and cleared his throat, opening the bathroom door for you.

“Slipped out. Happens sometimes.”

“Maybe you’re mixing me up with one of your prospects.” You walked into the bathroom and put your cane near your counter.

“You’re not that.” His voice was softer, the usual gruffness in his everyday work not audible.

“Then what am I then?” You looked at him as if you were stalling, not really wanting to take a shower.

“You know what. Now get in the shower.” He closed the door for you, and you looked in the mirror, wondering if that little slip-up was all that it was. You hopped in the shower after you undressed and properly covered up your wound, doing what the nurse said in avoiding the area and remembering that you would have to redress it before you went to bed.

You came out, realizing that you forgot to pick out some clothes and you were still in your towel. You snuck out of the room, hoping that he wouldn’t see you in this state, and got dressed before walking out into the living room and seeing him knocked out. You stood there for a moment, looking at how relaxed he was. The lines faded out on his face, unclenched jaw, no furrowing in his brows, even the classic hands over his stomach sleeping position that showed his age, he seemed to fit nicely onto your sofa. But having him sleep over when all you had was the couch was not a good option. He deserved to sleep in his bed, after all. So you gently tapped his shoulder, letting him stir a little before he opened his eyes.

“Hey, I’m all done now. You don’t have to stay if you don’t wanna.” You got back up and pulled your shirt down a little more, not realizing just how short it was along with the pajama shorts.

“Kicking me out already? I thought I earned a night here by now.” You rolled your eyes as you watched him get up.

“Don’t push your luck. I know you finished my beer while I was sleep.”

“You won’t notice if I just replace them all.” He pointed out.

“And now you just told on yourself.” His eyes widened, and you were beginning to smile.

“Did I?”

“Yeah, you kinda did,” You both laughed, and suddenly, the air seemed slightly lighter around you two. No longer awkward and a tad bit icy like before. Maybe after this, you could even be friends. “Well, goodnight Javi. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll swing by and cook your dinner. Make sure to take your pain meds because it’s about that time.” He was walking to the door, and you opened it for him, watching him step out.

“Okay, doctor. Get some rest yourself.”

“I’ll rest when I’m dead. But sleep well.” You smiled at him before closing the door and locking it shut, pressing your back against it as you couldn’t contain your happiness, even with physical pain beginning to course through you.

4 days came and went faster than you could process, and you were enjoying every minute of it. Javi went grocery shopping for you, made you dinner even when he almost burned down the house, made sure you took your meds on time, and, most importantly, gave you company. Somehow you were enjoying his talks about Laredo, how he was pushed into becoming a DEA agent, and how his old friend Murphy was the only good person he met throughout this journey. Sometimes after a few drinks for him, he let words flow throughout his mouth faster than he could process, and you learned that he had a fiancé.

Lorraine seemed to be perfect for him, a beautiful blonde girl that could’ve kept him in Laredo and lived an everyday life. Sure, how he left her behind was wrong, and when he saw her again, you knew that it had to be a little strange, but just the idea of knowing that at one point he would settle down intrigued you. A normal Javier Peña, you couldn’t necessarily picture but you wondered how it would’ve changed him. Would he be the hardened man that you knew him to be? Would he be more of an empath, even with the incident that slipped out with Carrillo, an old “friend” that did something he couldn’t get over? Would he have the slight cigarette and alcohol problem that he has now? Seeing all those little things in him made you see another version of him that he kept hidden away, that despite all these mistakes that he felt made him a flawed person was a person that you could see redemption.

“Y/n, are you listening?” He snapped you out of your thoughts, and you shook a little bit.

“Yes, I’m listening.” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Then what did I just say?” You gulped, trying to remember what you guys were talking about.

“That…that you called Murphy a fucking hillbilly for duck hunting.” He nodded his head, and you thought you were in the clear.

“I did say that…five minutes ago,” You shook your head, and he smiled a little bit at your defeat. “But you seem to be falling asleep on me.”

“No. I promise I’ll stay up.” He made a tsk sound as he got up, taking the beer bottles with him that he had to throw out.

“You need to sleep. Tomorrow you have to go back to the hospital to get those stitches looked at.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll call a cab tomorrow to take me there.”

“I’m gonna take you.” You widened your eyes.

“You have work-“ He cut you off just as fast.

“What time is the appointment?” Javi was just as stubborn as you were, and you didn’t know if that was a good trait or a bad trait.

“Noon. I’m sure Crosby will be having you fill out something by then.”

“I’ll take you. Don’t worry about me.” The way he insisted on taking care of you was endearing, almost making you never want it to end when you knew it had to.

“Thank you, and are you going to see Joselyn again?”

“I haven’t seen her at all actually.” You were surprised at his admission. Joselyn seemed to be his favorite, and she was his new informant. You figured at some point he would’ve swung by to get something.

“Well what have you been doing then besides going to work and coming by to take care of me?”

“I usually sleep right after.”

“Well I’m getting better now. You don’t have to keep doing this.” He sighed loudly once he let you finish.

“But I want to. Do you want me to stop?” Your heart almost leaped out of your chest.

“No, but I don’t wanna force you-“

“You’re not forcing me to do anything. I want to do this, so let me.” It was the sincerity in his voice that caught you off guard. How was it that almost a week prior, this man was always at your throat and didn’t want to listen to your concerns, and here he was now, listening to them all and reassuring you that he was here for you? It made your head spin more than when it was spinning when you got shot.

“Okay, I will for now.” He rolled his eyes.

“Stubborn ass.” That earned a laugh from you.

“I learned from the best.”

“Mhm,” He hummed as he walked to the door and opened it. “Goodnight, Y/n.”

“Goodnight, Javi.” He closed the door behind him, and you got up to lock it, the pain not as bad as before where you could move a little freely without the cane. You turned off the light in your living room, making sure everything was right before you went to your bed, letting sleep take over as you could feel yourself slipping into a honey trap that seemed to be sweeter than what met the eye.

Javi walked in, hoping that this would go in his favor. Tomorrow would be the day he had to give you the papers, and he wasn’t sure how you would react. All you kept talking about was how you wanted to get back into action, make up for what happened and take down the cartel. He admired your perseverance, but he knew that telling you about the papers would break you when you worked hard to get here.

“Afternoon, Crosby.”

“Afternoon. How is Y/L/N?”

“She’s okay for the most part. The doctor said that she’s healed pretty nicely and that she’s all set to go back to work.”

“Yeah, back in the States,” Crosby mumbled, looking through papers. “When are you going to talk to her?”

“Soon. It’s not time yet.” Crosby slammed his hand down.

“Get to it. She needs to be out by Monday.” Javi was shocked.

“Monday? You didn’t tell me that the last time we spoke. We agreed on Wednesday so that it would give her time.”

“Change of plans, Peña. The new division wants her.” Maybe it was the shock more so than the feelings he swore he didn’t have but hearing that a new division wanted her already made it worse for him.

“What division?”

“They wouldn’t tell me. Just said that it would be in Texas and that she would be a better fit there than here.” Javi could see that Crosby was lying through his teeth, and faintly when he looked down, he saw your name next to the FBI division. He couldn’t see what it entailed fully, but you were sure that you would be on desk duty cleaning up after everyone else that didn’t want your job.

“But she got us Gilberto.” He tried to reason, but it fell on deaf ears.

“I don’t give a fuck about who got Gilberto. She has to go because she’s not fit to be here and you know that. I don’t know why you’re so hellbent on keeping her around, but she’s going whether you tell her or I do. And if I do, then you’ll be packing up with her too. Now get the hell out of my office.” Crosby ended it and picked up the phone to dial someone. Pena walked out, almost slamming the door behind him in anger because losing you to the fucking FBI was not something he wanted.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Feistl asked.

“Let me take a wild guess and assume that you and Van Ness over there are the ones that wanted Y/L/N out.” Feistl's eyes narrowed a little.

“She doesn’t belong here. At this point it was us or her, and I didn’t work my way up here to get it taken away by her.”

“Yet on your own doing with Van Ness, you were the ones that almost got your informant killed.” Javi remarked.

“Why do you care so much about whether she stays or goes?” Feistl was challenging him, and Javi’s face turned into a scowl.

“Because I don’t appreciate it when the two people that reassured her that she would have a place here are the same ones stabbing her in the back. Makes me not trust either one of you as well.” He walked off after he said that, feeling satisfied by the look of shock on Feistl’s face.

“Wait!” His calls went unanswered as Javi went to the elevator, the guilt now setting in as he knew that tomorrow would be the day.

You heard the doorbell ring, and you opened it, seeing that Javi had some takeout in his hand. You saw the logo, and you beamed at him.

“You remembered what I liked.” The soft smile etched across his face became more familiar to you with all the days that had passed. A smile that he reserved for you after hours.

“It’s the only meal you eat at work. Figured you would want this more than my cooking.” He stepped inside, and you closed and locked the door behind him.

“Well, it’s not that it was bad,” You trail off, a giggle escaping your lips.

“I could just take it back.” He moved to walk out the door, and you stopped him.

“No, please. I take it back!” You pleaded, and he stopped, smiling at his victory.

“That’s what I thought.” He handed you the food, and you took it, moving over to the island while he took off his jacket and shoes. You took out the plates as he got your remote and turned on the tv, seeing that it was already set on the telenovela you had watched earlier with him.

“Still watching Las Juanas?” You smiled, putting the plates on the table and the bag down, taking out the containers, and setting your servings.

“It’s not my fault that it’s good.”

“Y/n, there’s about 30 people in that show named Juana.”

“It’s good, Javi. You were drunk when you first watched it so you didn’t give it a chance.”

“That was the only reason I could watch it. Sober I would just want to kick myself in the ass.”

“Then put something else on then.” You compromised as you finished making the servings, getting the silverware, and walking over to him to put it on the coffee table. He moved past you to get the drinks, a beer for him and wine for you since it was safe for you to drink, or rather the doctor never told you that it was too soon to drink.

“I’ll leave it on for you.”

“For me? Really?” Your mocking tone earned a groan from him.

“Don’t push your luck.” He walked over to you and passed you the glass of wine before sitting down beside you.

“I’ve been pushing my luck this whole week. You seem to be all talk,” You put your leg on the couch, and he moved it up to put in on him, giving himself some more room to sit down. You were surprised that he didn’t move it off entirely, but you didn’t mind.

“When you’re healed, we’ll see about how much talk I am. I’m sure a little training will prove you wrong.”

“You’re on!” You agreed to his challenge as you both moved up to grab your plates, eating in silence as you watched Las Juanas, although he hated every second of it.

After about two episodes, you both got up to wash the dishes before he left for the night. You washed while he dried them, and you were feeling a little sad as this was the second to last night you would have with him before you were both resuming your everyday lives. And what you didn’t know was that by tomorrow, he was supposed to give you those papers he wanted to burn with his lighters and send you back to the states working for a division that hated women even more. Both of your hearts torn by similar and different reasons, all left unsaid.

“Do you want to go out tomorrow? Before you’re set to go back on Monday?” He asked.

“I would like that a lot. Where do you wanna go?” You looked at him as he was drying, seeing his arms flex as he wiped the plate dry.

“Anywhere you want. It’s your day.” He looked at you and winked.

“Can we go to the park then?” You asked, giving him the light pleading look that he couldn’t resist.

“Yes we can.” You cheered a little, the glass of wine getting to your head.

“I’m happy you’re taking me-“ You were going to finish when you began to slip, and Javi caught you in both of his hands. You held on to him, looking at him, and he was so close, breath fanning your lips. Eyes locked in, you didn’t know what to say. Hearts racing, you knew your face was getting hotter by the minute but time was seemingly stopped between you both, the only sound being the tap water running down your sink. Slowly, he pulled you up but was still dangerously close to you, hands wrapped around your face and yours near his arms.

“A-Are you okay?” He asked, hand slipping around your waist a little more.

“U-Uhm, yeah. I’m okay. Are you?” Your hands went up his arm, feeling how big they were as they went up to his shoulder.

“Mhm. I didn’t want you to fall on me although I’m used to it by now.” You hit his shoulder and moved away, slightly annoyed but also laughing at his remark.

“Right. These women are just throwing themselves at you, really.” You turned off the faucet as you were all done with the dishes. He finished drying off the dishes, putting them away, wiping his hands, and getting ready to leave.

“What time do you want to come by?” You were both moving away from the kitchen to the door, watching him put his shoes on.

“I’ll come by at 9. Gives you enough time to fix that bird’s nest of yours.”

“Maybe you’ll finally leave the 70s if you shave that mustache.” You shot back.

“I see I’m rubbing off on you.” He grabbed his jacket, throwing it on.

“Please. I’ve been doing this long before I met you.” You crossed your arms, and he was laughing at your mock irritation.

“I have more years on than you, Cielo.” You knew what Querida meant after looking it up in a dictionary, but Cielo was new.

“Cielo? What does that mean?” You were puzzled, and when you saw the playful look in his eye, you knew he was either not going to tell you, or it was a bad nickname.

“A little nickname I overheard. Fits you.” You rolled your eyes as the first choice came true.

“But you’re not going to tell me what it means?”

“Nope. It’s for me to know and for you to wonder.” You sighed, opening the door for him, and letting him walk out.

“You’re an ass, but goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning.” You stood by at the door, him turning to face you.

“Goodnight, Cielo.” Suddenly, you reached out to hug him, not processing the action before you did it. He stood there for a moment before slowly wrapping his arms around you, holding you tight.

“T-Thank you, Javi. For everything.” Hearing you thank him made him feel warm but also worse inside. He held you tighter, crushing him, knowing he was holding back from telling the truth.

“Siempre, Y/n. B-But I know you have to sleep, so I’ll let you go.” He pulled away, knowing that tears threatened to come down if he held you any longer.

“See you tomorrow.” You were low, not trusting your voice to be any louder, or else it would’ve cracked. He turned away as you closed the door, your heart doubling in size as you knew you were done for after that.

You were finishing putting on your shirt when you heard a knock on the door. You walked over and opened it, seeing that Javi was again in tow with food.

“Good morning.” He was all smiles, a rare sight when it was nine in the morning. It was only after a cup of coffee where his face relaxed back to normal.

“Good morning. What’s this?” You pointed to the bag.

“Coffee from down the street and some treat the girl snuck in for me.” You moved to the side to let him in, and he walked in and put the food on the table.

“Let me guess, you flirted with her?” You asked as you closed the door.

“I just told her that her shirt looked nice,” You looked at him. “Okay and maybe I told her that she was pretty too.” You shook your head, knowing that he would always be the charmer.

“That sounds more like you.” You noted as you walked to the kitchen to grab the coffee, the sip of rich, fresh coffee, unlike the stale coffee you had at the Embassy left you happy. Javi took the treat and broke it in half, giving you the other piece.

“Oh, you can eat it all if you want.” You turned it down, but he put it in your hand anyways.

“Take the piece. I know you’re gonna like it anyways,” Given how much he cooked for you and got your favorite food around town, it didn’t surprise you. You took a bite, which was still warm, melting in your mouth, making you smile. “Didn’t I tell you?”

“You don’t know everything.” You pointed out.

“I know enough about you and your love for food.” He wasn’t wrong, but damn him for calling you out.

“That’s not the point.”

“Sure it isn’t.” He took a bite of his piece, and you both ate and drank the coffee quietly after that, taking in the warm Colombian sun as you didn’t have much time to appreciate these kinds of days. By sunrise, you were already in stacks of files trying to figure out what the next move should be to capture the godfathers. But this morning, all aglow, you were in ecstasy.

Soon after you were both finished, throwing everything out and getting ready to leave. Javi pulled out some papers from his bag and handed them to you. You looked at his face and he was a little tense, making you worry.

“What’s this?” You slowly took the papers, not wanting to look down to see what it was.

“Transfer papers.” You looked down and scanned it, seeing your name, change in division blacked out, everything that screamed you were being kicked out.

“You’re making me leave?” You wanted to kick yourself for your voice quivering, and Javi already regretting doing this.

“No! It’s just an option. After what happened I wanted you to know that you had the option to leave if you were thinking about it.” Lying through his teeth on the fly, it did nothing to quell your feelings.

“Do you want me to leave?” You dared to ask, looking up at him with bleary vision.

“I don’t think I should answer that.” A cop-out, his usual tactic in uncomfortable situations.

“Javi, you’ve been opening up to me these past few days. Why stop now?” You were breaking by the second, and he didn’t know if he could catch you or if you wanted him to.

“I don’t want it to influence your decision.” You saw right through him, and anger flashed through you.

“No, I get it. This was all a ploy to get me out. You never believed that I could do it but you couldn’t get me out on your own, not without a valid reason. But after getting shot, you figured you could nudge me into leaving without directly asking me to do so.” His worst fears came true, frantically shaking his head in disapproval.

“What? No! I would never do that!” You wiped your eyes and threw the papers on the counter.

“Or better yet, this was all Crosby’s doing. He told you to do this and you went along with it because you wanted to.” The tears stopped rolling, and you were on the verge of kicking him out. Time was of the essence, and Javi didn’t know how to fix anything.

“I-I didn’t want to-“ You scoffed in the middle of his sentence.

“I understand Javi, really. I’m supposed to now feel sorry as you couldn’t stand up to your boss so you just had to flirt your way in and then drop this bomb on me. The only thing I wouldn’t have expected was for this to happen so soon. This wasn’t even a full honeymoon.” Ire, a rare feeling that coursed through you influenced all that you were saying.

“Y/n, I’m sorry-“

“Yeah, you are. A sorry sack of shit because I didn’t deserve this, Javi. I fucking saved your life back there and this is what you do? Stab me in the fucking back all the while making me think that we had something special. Quite the fucking charmer, aren’t ya?” Your hands curled into fists as you tried not to blow a fuse, even when it was getting increasingly more complicated.

“Please, that’s not what happened. Querida-“

“Don’t you fucking call me that.”

“Y/n, I never meant for that to happen. I was trying to push away to soften the blow.” You couldn’t believe it. Soften the blow? In what way was he trying to soften the blow when he was doing everything to make you fall for him and then leave you hanging back in the new division while he and every other chauvinistic man had all the glory.

“It was already fucked the minute you came to see me! Everything you did made whatever the fuck this is worse. Just leave at this point since you were already planning on it.” You were going to walk to the door, but he grabbed your arm.

“You still need help-“ You pulled your arm away from him.

“Not from you, Javier! Not anyfuckingmore. Just get out, please.” Despite your anger making you lose all rational thought, your heart was still breaking as you didn’t expect this from him. Maybe others, but not him.

“I’m not leaving. Not until I tell you what happened because you only have part of the story.” You crossed your arms.

“What is it then? Because you couldn’t sleep with me? That would’ve been bad news for us both. New girl sleeps her way to the top and her sleazy boss can’t keep it in his pants?”

“Would you just listen to me? It’s not that. I wasn’t anticipating for this to happen between us so I tried to stop it. I just couldn’t, and it was fucking eating at me not being able to stop what I was doing with you. The more I tried, the worse it got.” If this was an attempt to get sympathy, he was failing at it.

“Then what is it then? You’re talking in circles.”

“I love you! Okay? I fucking love you.” A bombshell, but it went in one ear and out the other.

“You’re lying. This is your saddest attempt yet at lying.”

“No. Just listen to me. Would I have helped you the way I have these past few weeks? Would I have made sure that no one else would come to you about coming back early when I knew you were not ready? I wouldn’t be here at night to give you the comfort you need if I didn’t love you.” He was piecing it together, and slowly the anger lightened up, but you were still hurt, almost beyond repair.

“Then why did you lie this whole time, Javi? You waited until after you planned whatever this day was supposed to be to tell me.”

“Crosby changed the plans on me. Initially, he tasked me to do this as punishment for letting you go in for the raid. Feistl and Van Ness were put at desk duty, and because it was my call and shit show, I should’ve been grateful for only having to do this and give you the papers myself. It was supposed to be later this week but he told me to do it today since you’re supposed to be gone tomorrow morning.” The truth came out, and it made sense.

“So I had no say in this after all.” You were lower, and the sinking feeling of realizing that the rug was being pulled out from under you when all you wanted to do was dedicate your life to taking down drug lords was hard to grasp.

“You know how he is.”

“But that still doesn’t change what you did. You still knew and when you were here, you acted like everything was okay. I trusted you. Hell, I realized I loved you.” Your voice cracked at the last sentence, making his heartbreak.

“Y/n, I know you love me and I love you. Things can be different if you let me try.”

“How can this work? I’m supposed to be on a plane to the U.S. tomorrow and starting a new life while you’re here. Besides, I’m still hurt by all of this. How can I forgive you after this?” Heartstrings being pulled in different directions, you held on to the little table you had near your door to steady yourself, taking it in.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me. I don’t even forgive myself for this. But I can fix some of this, I promise.” He walked up to you slowly, but still gave you some personal space.

“Javi, I have no choice but to go. There’s no way out of this.” A tear finally dropped down, and it escalated into a flash flood that wouldn’t stop no matter how hard you tried.

“There is.” He got up to you and wiped your tears, thumb rubbing back and forth against your cheek.

“How?”

“I recorded a conversation between me and Crosby. And then after I left, the recording stayed on as Feistl stopped me. The recording can prove that this was planned to get you out of here.” You looked up, slightly in shock.

“What did I do to make Feistl and Van Ness want me out?” Racking your brain, trying to see what you did wrong, you were confused.

“Feistl and Van Ness never liked it when you didn’t listen to them and you struggled when you first got here. My guess is that they saw you as a hassle, and when it came out that you were the one that first called out how dangerous the raid was instead of them considering that they were tasked with making this raid a success, they didn’t want the blowback. Crosby went to them first before me and when they said everything he wanted them to say, he jumped at the chance to get you out rather than keep you on.”

“So I was the lucky winner,” You felt stupid for believing that you had a team that wanted you to stay on. You should’ve known that this would’ve happened. “And Crosby was never too fond of me either the moment I got here, so I can’t be as surprised that he jumped at the chance.”

“I could bring this up to the board, see what they say.” His suggestion was nice, but there was too much at stake.

“I don’t want you to risk your job, Javi. Pacho, Miguel, and Don Chepe are so close to being caught.”

“You can still go back to the states, and I’ll take them down. When everything is said and done, the truth will come out. All of it. I’m not letting this go when you never deserved this.” Both of his hands cupped your face, and with all the emotions you were feeling, the one that stayed was your love for him despite everything.

“But then you’ll be out of a job. We both worked too hard to lose everything.” A position in Texas was not what you saw for yourself, but at least you could still find your way up the ranks later on. But for Javi to lose everything, it was hard to process.

“I want to leave anyways, Y/N. This job took everything from me and I got nothing back except a shitty promotion and no life outside of it. Besides, you’re going to be stationed in a FBI location in Texas. I’ll be 20 minutes outside of your post.” Your heart leaped at how close you two would be, even if things shouldn’t have turned out this way.

“He told you?”

“He left the file out, and he should know that I have wandering eyes,” For the first time since you took the papers, you laughed.

“I know you do.”

“This is going to work. Don’t overthink it, Querida.” He pressed his forehead against yours, and you let him, trying to wrap your head around what happened in the past 10 minutes. Maybe tomorrow it would hit you more, but to be in this moment, it made everything seem to be a little easier because you had him, the one person in this shit job that wanted the best for you.

“Okay. Let’s make the most of this day before I leave then.” You agreed, and that was how you left it for a moment. Standing near your door, trying to find the positives with the man you chose to save, and now, he was saving yours.

Sitting at your desk a little after 9, you finished the stack of files that had been there the day before, and you made sure that the meeting tomorrow that you had to lead was in order as well. You had a long day ahead of you, and it had been like that for a while. After 3 grueling months of trying to prove your worth, you were sure that it would lead to something, maybe a promotion or perhaps going out into the field again. You knew that, but with everything that happened back with the DEA, you wondered if the FBI would be the same. Everyone here treated you mostly as an equal, but with all the time that passed, you were beginning to feel disillusioned with it all.

You wanted the world to be a better place, but with the politics of the job, constantly trying not to step on anyone’s toes, and having to do some things by the book when everyone knew that you had to get things done by getting your hands dirty, it seemed impossible. The main thought ringing in your head was what Javi had mentioned to you the last day you were together. He was tired of it all, giving his life to this job and not getting much out of it. Would it make sense to do what he did or maybe get out early, a restart at doing something that felt meaningful to you? What that would mean for you was a question only time could answer, but it was something you couldn’t ignore as much as you thought you could. Knowing that you had a bit of a drive to get back home, you grabbed your purse and pushed your chair in. You grabbed the files and walked to your boss's office when Brian stopped you.

“You’re leaving now?” You turned your head to face him.

“Yeah. I finished all the paperwork and everything is stacked in alphabetical order. I’m sure Diaz can work through it now.”

“At this point he just wants you to do it all for him while he gets all the glory.” You hummed in response.

“One, that’s over my pay grade and two, I’m not going to inadvertently hand him the accolades that inflate his ego more than what it is already.”

“You and me both. But goodnight, Y/N. I’ll see you in the morning.” Brian let you go, and you walked up the stairs to Diaz’s office, seeing that he was still there finishing up. You knocked on the door, and he tilted his head up.

“Those files are done?” He asked as you walked in.

“Yes sir. All in alphabetical order and loose ends taken care of.” You placed them on the side of his desk.

“Good work, Y/L/N. Are you all set for the meeting tomorrow?” He finished signing something as he looked up at you once more.

“Yes. I’ll be here first thing tomorrow morning at 6.” You clasped your hands together, waiting for him to let you leave.

“Good. I have one question for you before you leave.”

“I’m all ears.”

“I looked over your file and got on the phone with Robinson. He told me the training you did at the base was stellar.” The training was great last week. A struggle at first, but by the middle of the second day, it felt as though you hadn’t forgotten it.

“Thank you, sir. Robinson helped me a lot over there.”

“You’re welcome. Based on those two things, I have a proposition for you with going back out to the field.” Your ears perked up, but the feeling in your stomach was not the same.

“When would this be?”

“Preferably this upcoming weekend. We would send you and him to New York to investigate a series of murders that the police called us to help them with. Perez would lead as he was tasked with this first, but he agreed to take you under his wing to help you.” A field mission after 3 months, and you were in shock. Perez was a decent leader, but you did not expect him to agree to take you on as he was seasoned, at least out on the field for 8 years. A dream to go to New York as well, fulfill your dreams of bringing peace to the world, but it didn’t ignite the spark that it should’ve. You should’ve been holding back the grin as you did before when you were assigned to work in the DEA, looking forward to packing your bags to put your best foot forward in a new place. But now, it didn’t feel the same.

“Can I sleep on it for tonight and give you an answer tomorrow?" Diaz looked at you with a raised brow.

“I thought you would be jumping at this opportunity.” He sat back in his seat.

“I am appreciative of it, really. I didn’t think you would consider me for the job since I haven’t been here for long, but it is a lot to take in. I haven’t been on the field since that raid.” It was a plausible excuse rather than telling him that you were pondering on the idea of putting in your papers by the end of the week, but you didn’t want to be rash.

“I understand. I’ll give you tonight, but I need an answer by tomorrow.”

“Yes sir. Have a good night.” You pulled up your purse as you were beginning to walk out.

“You as well.” You walked out of his office to the elevator, pressing the garage level. As the levels went down, so did your expectations of staying here. It felt more final as you got to the level that your life was starting over.

You walked out of the elevator and into the garage when you saw a dark silhouette on the wall. You took a look, walking a little bit closer with your gun still on your hip. You undid the strap, but you stopped dead in your tracks when the figure walked up to you. Out from the shadows was him, somewhat shorter, with cleaner hair, the same porn stache you made fun of, tight black shirt donned with his aviators hanging by the shirt. You were frozen as he was invading your personal space.

“Long time no see,” He took your hand, and you finally softened up, intertwining yours with his. “And you remembered to have your gun on you at all times.”

“Well with the stunt you just pulled, I have to do those things now.” You squeezed his hand, trying to grasp that he made it out alive. “You’re out of the DEA now?”

“Crosby didn’t take it all that well when I brought the tapes to the board. Since then, he’s been put under review and Feistl and Van Ness have been shipped off to somewhere in the states, far from here. I left shortly after.” He squeezed your hand back.

“I heard you did an interview too.” The interview made rounds in the FBI as most of them knew you worked with him, and when you listened to it, you were in shock and awe.

“I figured why go out quietly when I could make a little noise.” His little Cheshire smile made you smile.

“Sounds about right.”

“You’re all done for the night?” He began walking down to his car, just a few slots before your car.

“Yeah. Planning on going home to sleep and lead this meeting tomorrow morning.” You sounded exhausted, but Javi could hear that you weren’t as interested in it as you should’ve been.

“You don’t sound happy about it. I thought you would want that.” You stopped in your tracks.

“I do! Well, I don’t know. Diaz, my boss up there even gave me an option to go back out to the field in New York this weekend with this other guy Perez.” You were swaying on your feet.

“What did you say?”

“I need the night to sleep on it.” He knew from there what you were thinking.

“You’re thinking about leaving aren’t you?” You bowed your head a little.

“Maybe,” He took his other hand and lifted your head up, raising his brow. “I don’t know what to do, Javi. I worked so hard these past 3 months to get back to where I was. I was close even when I got here to being put out entirely.”

“What does your gut tell you?”

“To leave. It’s a second chance to get out on the field that I never thought I would get back, but it doesn’t feel right. I don’t feel right here.” You finally admitted to yourself, and there was a little smile on his face seeing that you were finally thinking about what you really wanted.

“Then leave. Put in your papers tomorrow and start over.”

“What will I do then?” You asked, more to yourself than him.

“That’s for you to find out, not for me to tell you, cielo.” He rubbed his thumb against your chin.

“What are you going to do then?” Your free hand trailed up his arm absentmindedly, going to his shoulder.

“Going back to Laredo. Work with my dad, find my place here back home.”

“Are you happy doing that?” You asked, tilting your head to the side.

“I left because I needed to chase after something I thought I wanted. But now that it’s done, I’m happy going back home.”

“Then why did you drive here to see me?” You questioned further, feeling him move in closer.

“Because you’re someone I want.” You were back in that position you were in back in Colombia, and it was tension in the garage. No one else was there, only you two, and all the feelings you had pushed away to focus on work were on the surface.

Finally seizing the moment, you kissed him, hand moving to his neck as he followed suit, slow yet passionate as you poured all the love you had for him into one kiss. You pulled back slowly, breathless as you were processing what happened and where this would take you in the future. His forehead rested against yours, and you felt goosebumps all over, the hairs standing up on your neck.

“You ready to go home?” He asked after catching his breath.

“Let’s go home.”

#pedro pascal #lana writes #pedropascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #javier/reader #javier pena/reader #javi/reader #javierpeña #javierpena #javier peña x reader #javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena fluff #javier peña fluff

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scalira · 7 months

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I'm somewhere outside my life, babe

“Nancy,” Murray says once he’s reached her. He looks even more disheveled than he did a moment ago. “The mice… asked me to give you a message.”

Nancy looks at him, then looks over her shoulder to Robin. Robin looks as confused as Nancy feels.

“The… the jumping mice?” Robin asks.

Murray doesn’t even look at Robin as he continues, “They’re saying… don’t go through the little door. Does that make sense to you?”

#ronance #ronancetober2023 #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #ronancetober #lana writes #IT'S HERE!!#IT'S FINISHED!!#This turned out way longer than I expected but I had so much fun writing it #I love coraline and i loved writing this with the script of the movie next to it to draw inspiration from #And I took some quotes straight from the movie as well as little references

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eljeebee · 4 months

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Anthony, Albert, and Priscilla waved goodbye on the front porch, watching their guests drive away with their red truck.

"Lively lot, aren't they?" Anthony noted. "Are they always like that, Albert?"

Albert shrugged, laughing. "Yeah. Good friends of Ma and Pa. Always. Lets us play with their children. Even with Arabella."

Priscilla looked at her mentor worriedly. She wanted to ask if he's alright, but she knew he'd shrug her off. Instead, she said, "Why don't you go rest for the night? Tony and I will clean up."

"You're the best, kiddo," Albert suddenly hugged Priscilla. She let out a groan when he squeezed her in his embrace. When he let go, he gave Anthony a smack on the back. "You too!"

Then, he went inside, up the stairs, and into his room.

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#lana writes #lana writes: by the fireplace #LOC:Priscilla Wuest #LOC:Priscilla Wuest-Harrison #LOC:Anthony Harrison #LOC:Albert Lucio #the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 screenshots #sims 4 story #ts4 #ts4 story #ts4 screenshots #simblr

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joytri · 3 months

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most ardently

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ginevrapng · 7 months

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I have this kinktober idea! It's okay if you don't want to do it though. Poly!marauders waking you up by eating you out

it's a sunday so your plan is to have a lie-in and you've woken up earlier than you thought with your dream interrupted. your eyelids are heavy and you blink slow as you wake up slowly. a low moan escapes your lips as you feel one of your boyfriends under the duvet. "fffuck," you moan, your hand flies under the cover to lift the duvet off to find james between your thighs. your hands grab james' hair, he groans as you pull his hair and you feel the vibrations of the noise hitting your clit.

"you finally awake sweetheart?" he mumbles against you. you wonder how long he's been going down on you but that thought is interrupted by him pushing two fingers inside your entrance and simultaneously sucking your clit. you loudly gasp and pull his hair harder.

the door to the bedroom opens and you see sirius looking down at you both and smirking, previously unaware of the morning activity you and james were up to. "well, well, well. what do we have here? moony come in here real quick."

remus enters the room with a cup of tea in his hand looking at sirius before he notices james between your thighs. james places a gentle kiss on your clit before removing himself and looking at the other boys. both of you look like you've been caught doing something you shouldn't be doing. "we didn't tell you to stop, did we prongs?" remus says as places his mug on the side and moves over to both of you, sitting behind you on the bed.

sirius moves next to james, opening your thighs wider, placing a kiss behind james' ear and then your inner thigh. everyone starts moving like clockwork, touching everywhere. sirius starts stroking james' dick causing him to whine, which then causes your moans to get louder. remus and you kiss for awhile before he decides he would prefer to hear the pretty noises you're making so he removes himself and starts kissing your neck, leaving some marks and hickeys. out of everyone remus is the most possessive, always wanting everyone to know you belong to him, that's why you, james and sirius always have at least one hickey visible, even more so when it's close to the full moon. remus plays with your nipples and pinches them while sirius does exactly the same to james.

you end up spending the whole morning in bed not leaving until the afternoon.

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dollkisses05 · 14 days

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need someone obsessed with me in a very poetic and unfortunate way

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ivynightshade · 9 months

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fatima aamer bilal, from being unwanted is a language.

[text id: the world is happening in a room that i can't enter, life is happening in a gathering i am not invited to. / being unwanted is a language i am fluent in.]

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lanasblood · 11 months

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HOW DO I MAKE YOU LOVE ME | neteyam x reader

pairing: neteyam x f!omatikaya!reader (no mentions of y/n)

summary: you remember all of your attempts to make Neteyam fall in love with you, using various methods, experiencing numerous failures, and you finally come to a conclusion or the five times you failed to win neteyam’s affection and the one time you succeed.

word count: 10k (!!! damn)

warnings: actually none but let’s say hurt/comfort, reader is a simp, 5+1 prompt, confessing, mutual pining, mention of blood, requited/unrequited love, !!adult neteyam!!, flashbacks to childhood and teenager years

note: inspired by the five love languages and the weeknd’s song mentioned in the title.

* gif‘s not mine.

The soft rustling of the teal leaves falling silently to the ground, as light as an ikran feather, is one of the most soothing sounds heard on the still night. The wind touches them gently, as if caressing them, before whirling them up again in a powerful gust, starting the cycle all over again. The moons stand high in the sky, and the stars sparkle like little gems that can beautify anything. The night is quiet, and the soft breeze seems to calm everything down and lull it into a deep sleep. The bright light of the bioluminescent plants lays gently on the moist meadows, illuminating the darkness. It is like a magical tale, perfect and without blemish. Yet, there is one who can't sleep in this harmonic time: you. With your arms and legs stretched out, you lie on your back, feeling like hours have passed since you started staring at the night sky without moving a muscle. You have even decided to sleep outside your hammock to hear and feel the sound of the wind, hoping to finally sink into the dreamland. But, as you know, this has done little to help.

All because of him. You sigh in annoyance.

For as long as you can remember you've had this crush on the eldest son of the Olo'eyktan, you don't know when you developed it, let alone how it really started. You just know that it might have been cute at first – a nice girl from a small clan who has feelings for the older boy next door, but as time went by, it wasn't cute at all; on the contrary, it robs you of precious sleep and will most likely cause you to age prematurely.

Despite not knowing how and when exactly this crush thing has started, you know that it has gotten worse the more time has passed, and the more time passes, the more failed attempts to get his attention you have behind you. However, there's one event you categorize as time zero - the starting point of your attempts - that you remember vividly:

You were a mere child and couldn't take your eyes off Neteyam, who was only slightly older than you. Confidently clutching the stem of the rare flower you had been searching for days, you made your way through the lush forest, searching for Neteyam. As you thought about the plan you had concocted, your heart beat rapidly in your chest. You had heard from a reliable source that Neteyam was a lover of rare flora, and you hoped that this gift would make him see you in a different light.

When you spotted him in the distance, his tall figure was moving gracefully through the trees. Taking a deep breath, you approached him, holding out the flower to him.

"Hey, Neteyam," you said, trying to sound casual. "I found this and I thought you might like it."

Neteyam stopped in his tracks and turned to look at you, his expression unreadable. You held out the flower a bit higher, hoping to see a glimmer of appreciation in his eyes.

"Thank you," he said simply, slowly taking the flower from your outstretched hand. Looking at the flower now in his hand, the corner of his lips turned upward, causing your heart to flutter.

You told him happily, "It's a very rare flower," beaming a bright smile at him.

And the next thing you knew, you were holding your breath as he bent slightly forward to your height and patted your head in praise, "It seems you're already a careful gatherer, baby neighbor. Keep it up!"

You felt your heart sink faster than a prey could run when he turned and continued on his way, leaving you standing there alone in the forest. You had hoped that your gesture would be enough to make him see you in a different light, but it seemed that it had made no difference at all, or even worse for he had called you the worst possible nickname to exist in all na'vihood.

As you made your way back to the village, you couldn't help but feel a sense of disappointment and frustration settling in you, the deep frown on your face mirroring your inner world. You had tried so hard to get Neteyam to notice you, but it seemed that he was simply not interested.

How do I make you love me?

After a few cycles and many more failed attempts in between, you realized that your little crush was not so little after all. Especially after Neteyam passed his Iknimaya at such a young age, your admiration for him grew every day. The feeling was almost unbearable as you found yourself constantly near him but not receiving the acknowledgment you wished for.

That was until one day, you decided to change that because your hormonal teenager brain had this glorious idea to spend some alone time with Neteyam. You had observed that he enjoyed hunting during his free time when he wasn't bound by his duties as the Olo'eyktan's firstborn. This is why you eagerly joined him on his next hunt, determined to impress him with your own hunting and tracking skills. Looking back, you now realize that your confidence may have been misplaced for your skills were basically non-existent at that time, but back then you were convinced that you were able to hunt.

So, you followed Neteyam deep into the forest, crouching right beside him in the underbrush, watching the herd of talioang grazing in the distance. Their blue and orange skin glinted in the sunlight, and you could hear the low rumble of their voices as they communicated with each other.

"Do you thi—" Neteyam's hand swiftly covered your mouth, halting your words before they escaped, his touch gentle yet firm. It was electrifying, sending shivers down your spine. He motioned for you to be quiet and directed your attention towards the herd. As he removed his hand, you couldn't help but feel a thrill of excitement in your blood. This was your chance to prove yourself.

Neteyam slowly and silently made his way towards the herd, you right on his track, moving from one piece of cover to another. Your eyes followed every movement of the muscles on his toned back, you felt your heart pounding in your chest, and your palms were slick with sweat. Even though you had never really hunted before, you were determined to succeed but Neteyam's captivating presence proved to be a distraction that made it difficult for you to concentrate on anything else.

As you got closer to the herd, you could feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins. Neteyam signaled for you to stop, and you froze, trying to make yourself as small as possible. He reached out and brushed a twig aside at your feet.

"Watch your steps," he whispered close to your ear, and you could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin, sending shivers down your spine. Your heart raced as you realized how close he was to you, and you wondered if he could hear it pounding in your chest. Longing to feel his lips against your skin, you couldn't help but turn your head slightly towards him, but you knew you couldn't let your desire distract you from the hunt.

"I do," you whispered back. Trying to calm your racing heart, you focused on the task at hand, scanning the ground for anything else that might make noise. But when you moved, you felt Neteyam's body shift slightly against yours, sending another jolt of electricity through you, and you wondered if he felt it too.

"No, you constantly step on something," he told you, still whispering, but voice stern.

Feeling caught because there was a high possibility that he was right for you hadn't paid attention to your surroundings in the last couple of minutes, too busy doting on him, you couldn't find arguments to defend yourself, "I do not."

Neteyam firmly pressed his finger on his own lips, signaling you to be quiet yet again. Your heart beat faster as you met his intense gaze, and you felt a rush of desire wash over you.

"Too much noise," he mouthed, his voice barely audible, and looked back at the herd. Following his gaze, you saw that the talioang had picked up on something, and they were starting to look nervous. You and Neteyam held your breaths, waiting for the right moment to strike.

Suddenly, Neteyam gave the signal, and sprang into action. You just weren't really ready when he gave the signal, so with the first step you took, you stumbled on something growing on the ground and fell over with a short cry. Neteyam who had darted towards the nearest talioang, already drawing his bow and arrow, stopped right in his track when he heard you fall. You looked up at him when he quickly turned to you and then back at the herd but it was too late, the animals already reared up in surprise, and scattered in all directions. However, you were too shocked by your fatal mistake to pay them any attention. You were frozen in place, lying in the dirt, watching Neteyam looking back at you with a slightly agape mouth. The blood rushed to your head and you could hear your heart pounding in your ears.

You ruined it.

Neteyam's disappointment was tangible. You could feel his eyes on you, and you knew that he was angry. You would be, too. Struggling to express your remorse, the words got caught in your throat as you attempted to apologize. The weight of disappointment were heavy on your shoulders, and you couldn't shake off the feeling of letting him down.

After a long, awkward silence, Neteyam turned to you with a deep sigh. "You need to be more careful," he said, "When you're hunting, you have to be aware of everything around you. One mistake can ruin the whole hunt."

You nodded, feeling ashamed, you were sure your face was as purple as a yovo fruit. You had wanted to impress Neteyam, but instead you had embarrassed yourself in front of him, had blown any chance to show him that you were capable.

How do I make you fall for me?

Over time, you learned from your previous mistakes. Wanting to impress him proved to be harder than anticipated, but having a conversation with him was easier than expected. You needed to show him how much you appreciated him for who he was. As a result, you began to pay closer attention to the way he interacted with others, especially his younger brother Lo'ak, and you started to incorporate some of those phrases into your conversations with him.

One bright day, you nervously approached Neteyam, hoping to strike up a conversation with him using your newfound knowledge:

"Hey, Neteyam," you greeted tentatively, "Whatcha doin'?"

You left out the bro on purpose, fearing it would be overkill. Even so, the words coming out of your mouth sounded strange to you, and for him apparently too, as he rapidly looked up from his task upon hearing your voice, and his otherwise neutral face looked at you with a slightly frowned forehead and attentive eyes, studying you for a moment before he was quick to collect himself and greeted you with a slight smile.

"Not much. Tuk asked me to repair this old basket for her," he said, motioning with his hands on the basket between his legs, "And I'm trying."

You nodded, trying not to seem too eager, "That's really kind of you. I bet she'll be thrilled once you finish it," you said with a smile.

Neteyam simply hummed in response and went back to his task, his concentration returning.

"I mean, I would, too. Tuk is very lucky, it must be nice to have a brother like you," you complimented him.

"But you do have a brother," Neteyam reminded you matter-of-factly, "We used to attend the same training sessions so many times."

"Yeah," you continued, feeling your cheeks flush with embarrassment. "But, uh, he is not as skilled as you are." Good save. "And he never did such kind things for me when I was little. The only thing he did was teach me how to fight."

"That's a valuable skill," Neteyam commented.

"Well, what I mean is, he's an ordinary brother, while you are one of a kind, Neteyam. Your siblings are incredibly lucky to have you," you said, emphasizing your point.

Neteyam smiled to himself, his canines slightly showing, as he went back to working on the basket. You couldn't help but feel a flutter in your stomach at the thought of him noticing your flattery.

"I appreciate that," he said, acknowledging your compliment.

After a few minutes of silence, you took a deep breath and you mustered up the courage to ask him a question, "May I say something?"

He looked up at you again and nodded. "Sure, what's on your mind?"

You decided to take the chance, "I just wanted to say that you always seem to know just what to do and say, and that's very impressive. You're responsible, always respectful, and very patient. Not just with me but with everyone in our clan. And I want you to know that I really appreciate it, Neteyam." I appreciate you.

Neteyam's expression softened as he listened to your words. "You have a kind heart to express that," he replied, a hint of a smile still playing at the corner of his lips.

You took a deep breath and continued, "I know you don't share much about your personal life, but if you ever feel comfortable talking about it I would love to learn more about you."

Neteyam's smile reached his eyes. "Thank you, I will keep that in mind."

You felt a warm glow of happiness in your chest as you realized that your words affected him. You were willing to put in the work to get to know him better.

Encouraged by his response, you asked, "So, do you have any concrete plans after your Uniltaron?"

Neteyam's expression faltered a bit upon hearing you mention his upcoming Dream Hunt, he seemed almost reserved all of a sudden. "I do have a few, but they are personal," he replied, "I prefer to keep them to myself."

You felt a pang of disappointment. "Oh, I understand," you said, trying to hide your dejection, "I'm sorry. It was not my place to ask."

"You don't have to apologize," he responded, "But some things are best kept within the family."

"Yeah, I get it," you smiled weakly, feeling like you had hit a wall, "Thanks for talking with me, Neteyam."

He nodded and went back to his task, leaving you feeling deflated and uncertain about how to get closer to him.

How do I make you want me?

The previous attempts to win Neteyam's attention had proven unsuccessful: The gifts you gave him didn't have the desired effect, your attempts to impress him by spending time with him backfired (you want to forget that memory of the hunt so badly), and the conversations you had with him remained superficial, never delving deeper into meaningful topics. It was clear that you needed a new approach, a fresh idea to capture his interest which brought you back to point zero.

You walked through the forest, scanning the undergrowth for any signs of the flowers you had been studying for quite some time – the kind you gifted Neteyam when you were little. It turns out that the rare flower wasn't that rare after all, it only bloomed a short time a cycle, which is what made it so valuable. However, if they were dried and powdered, very useful medicines could be made. At some point you had started collecting this flower, as well as other herbs and plants for Tsahìk, and in return she had taught you how to make rich creams and pastes from them. And you could also consume this flower in meals if you let it cook over the fire for a long time. Pondering if it would evoke nostalgia within Neteyam, while you plucked them carefully from the ground, you wondered if he ever remembered the day you gave him that flower in the first place.

Gathering a variety of edible flowers, aromatic herbs, and other nourishing ingredients from the village, you spent all morning helping the women in your clan prepare a wholesome and delicious meal for the warriors. In anticipation of Neteyam's training session, you decided to take this thoughtful approach to show your support and care.

As the aroma of freshly cooked food filled the air, you volunteered to bring the full basket of handmade food wraps and lovely cut fruits to the training area.

The warriors were engrossed in their practice, their movements fluid and powerful. You scanned the crowd, searching for Neteyam among them.

Spotting him in the midst of the intense training session, his lean muscles glistening with sweat under the warm sun, you couldn't help but feel a surge of admiration. His movements were powerful and precise, each strike displaying his skill as a warrior. His strength and determination did something to you, feeling a magnetic pull towards him.

Balancing the basket of food in your hands, you approached the outskirts of the training area, careful not to interrupt the warriors' focus. You set up a blanket and arranged the food on it attractively. Your intention was not only to impress Neteyam but to show your support for the entire group.

"I swear, Eywa send you here," you heard someone say next to you, a bit out of breath, while impatient hands reached into the basket and helped you place the food, "I'm starving!"

"Lo'ak, are you allowed to end your training like this?" You questioned, and turned your head in the direction of the warriors — the training was obviously still in full swing, but it was precisely then that you met Neteyam's gaze who was already looking over at you, a mixture of surprise and curiosity evident in his eyes.

"Not really but it smells so good, I'm ready to be skinned for these delici— Oh, I'm taking this one, yeah?" He started unwrapping one of the food wraps and hastily bit into it.

"Hey, wait for the others!" you admonished him, but his wrap was already half eaten.

"Mm, das bom!" you heard him smack loudly, "S'rusly, yur da best."

"I'm glad," you responded, suppressing a laugh. Lo'ak acted like he hadn't eaten in days.

Noticing the spread of food, the warriors collectively ended the training session, and the men started approaching the nourishing dishes, including freshly grilled meats, vibrant vegetables, and flavorful herbs.

Sensing an opportunity, you went towards Neteyam, a food wrap in your hand, and a warm smile gracing your lips. "I thought I would spare you the long way, in case you're starving like your brother," you joked, gesturing with your head towards Lo'ak behind you, who was taking two more food wraps and calling dips on the rawp.

Neteyam's gaze shifted from the feast you had prepared to the food in his hands and then at you. His gaze lingered on you for a moment longer than necessary, and a soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

"That's thoughtful of you," he replied, his voice carrying a subtle warmth, "It's been an intense training session, and this is a welcome surprise."

You stepped back, allowing him to enjoy the meal with his fellow warriors. Observing from a distance, you noticed the camaraderie and laughter that emerged as they gathered around the spread of food, indulging in the flavors that were carefully crafted.

Throughout the meal, you found yourself drawn to Neteyam's presence. The way he spoke with passion about his experiences, the way he listened attentively to others, and the way his eyes sparkled with a hidden depth — all of it only fueled your growing attraction.

As the training session continued, you lingered nearby, engaging in conversations with other warriors, offering encouragement and companionship. While your initial intention was to impress Neteyam, you found joy in connecting with the community as a whole, so much you almost didn't realize that the day's training had come to an end.

"Thank you for the meal and your company," Neteyam said softly as he walked next to you back to the village, carrying the basket for you with a genuine smile gracing his face. "It meant a lot to all of us."

Your cheeks warmed at his words, "I didn't do much, the others—"

"You are here, that alone is more than enough."

You nodded, a sense of satisfaction washing over you. "I'm glad I could contribute," your voice was filled with sincerity, "Supporting you and the clan is important to me."

A surge of hope welled up inside you, but as the conversation continued, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. Despite your efforts, the romantic tension you had hoped for seemed to elude you. The conversation remained pleasant yet distant, and it became clear that Neteyam saw you more as a friend than a potential partner. With a heavy heart, you realized that your attempt to catch his interest had once again fallen short.

And make it last eternally?

For quite some time now, you have firmly believed that you have left those days behind you, imprisoned in childhood memories, overlapped by numerous teenage embarrassments. After all, now you are an adult with serious duties and commitments to attend to, and there's neither time nor room for such childish infatuations. Crushing on the future Olo'eyktan. Please. Plus, once you found out how many other girls in your clan, both older and younger than you, adored him, you figured it is best to move on. You were frustrated at times, but you resolved to carry on, cherishing the friendship you shared with Neteyam while silently letting go of your unrequited feelings. At least, that's what you thought...

… until three eclipses ago.

Mere moments before the eclipse, the all-too-familiar soft light danced in the room, casting a golden hue that revealed the tiniest pollen floating around inside Tsahìk's crowded tent. It had been a long time since so many people had been injured at once, yet no one was ready to explain or report what had happened.

As two new figures entered the tent, one of them supporting the other, you heard a familiar voice speaking calmly, "Focus on not getting blood all over grandmother's tent rather than worrying about my wounds."

"Nah, I'm just- Ouch! Careful, bro!"

"Sorry, brother, but you have to cooperate with me here," Neteyam uttered while carefully helping Lo'ak onto the mat made of woven grasses that Kiri had prepared for them with blankets.

"I'm just saying—Ahh," Lo'ak hissed as Neteyam applied pressure to his open wound with his bare hands, while Kiri hastily tied together any available cloths for his wound care. "-it's not very mighty of you, you know."

"What is not very mighty of him?" Kiri wanted to know, now taking over and applying pressure to his wound as well to stop the bleeding. As you shifted to Kiri's side, you handed her more cloths that she could wrap around Lo'ak's leg.

"His wounds, of course," Lo'ak grinned when he saw you and gave his older brother another amused sideways glance, before continuing, "but I'm sure he will be in great hands now. Right, bro?"

Just a quick glance at Lo'ak was enough to see that he was far worse off than Neteyam. While his wounds did not appear to be life-threatening, he was bleeding profusely from his thigh.

Tsahìk had already rushed to the four of you, throwing a disapproving look at Lo'ak, "Oh, my boy, let me have a look." With her expertise, she quickly got the situation under control, ordering Kiri to get more cloths while you stood by her side to assist her.

"My child, attend to his wounds," Tsahìk instructed you, but to your surprise she nodded towards Neteyam instead of Lo'ak as she pushed a bowl of fresh water into your hands. "My granddaughter and I can handle this young clumsy man here." Her stern gaze was once again fixed on Lo'ak, who, in turn, only grinned at her.

"Grandmother," Neteyam began soothingly, ready to protest, "there is no need to—" but her piercing eyes silenced him, causing him to follow you wordlessly to the other side of the tent.

And that's how you found yourself sitting in front of Neteyam, tending to his wounds with the gentle touch of your hands, caring for each cut and bruise.

"You need to be more careful," you said softly, breaking the comfortable silence as you wrung the cloth in the water that had already turned a muddy reddish color.

"I'm content with the present circumstances," he replied, his voice laced with a touch of amusement. You gave him a sarcastic look, which he reciprocated with a warm smile.

"Well, I suppose then you'll be content with this as well." Pressing the damp cloth into his hand, you stood up and leisurely made your way to Tsahìk's supplies to fetch some healing ointments, and you took your time doing so.

Upon your return, Neteyam watched you attentively, his eyes tracing your every movement, and you wondered if he had been watching you the whole time. There was a newfound curiosity in his gaze, a glimmer of something more.

"My words came out wrong," he said when you sat back on the ground in front of him. The air was filled with a mix of anticipation and unspoken emotions, a subtle tension hanging between you. "You're right, I should be more careful. I always strive to be. It's just that there's little one can do in the face of an ambush."

"An ambush?" you asked with big eyes, "Oh, Great Mother! That's what everyone's been trying to conceal. And I was wondering the whole time what could've possibly happened to cause so many injuries."

"They probably didn't want to cause an uproar." You listened to his words, sensing the weight they carried. The mention of an ambush brought back memories of past dangers and harrowing encounters. The gravity of their lives was never far from their thoughts, and you understood the weight that rested on Neteyam's shoulders.

"You don't always have to be the strong one, Neteyam," you said softly, voice carrying reassurance, when you continued cleaning the cut on his chest, noticing that he tried not to wince under your touch, "It's alright to lean on others, to let them care for you."

A flicker of emotion danced across his face, a fleeting moment of vulnerability before he regained his composure. His hand reached out to touch yours resting on his chest above his heart, the contact gentle yet charged with unspoken emotions.

"Thank you," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, and in that moment it felt like the boundaries between healer and wounded blurred, "Thank you for being here, for tending to me." His eyes locked with yours, an unspoken promise passing between you, turning your cheeks in a light purply color.

"Now," you cleared your throat with the intention of changing the subject, fervently hoping that he wouldn't notice your flushed cheeks, "here comes the actual healing part."

Gently, you dipped your fingers into the jar of ointment, scooping out a generous amount. With deliberate movements, you applied the soothing balm to his wounds, careful not to cause any further discomfort. The ointment glided smoothly, creating a soothing sensation that seemed to envelop him in a healing embrace.

"What I meant before is that I am glad that you are the one taking care of me," you smiled upon hearing those words, feeling his gaze on you as you concentrated on his upper body. A gentle warmth radiated from his wounds as your fingertips grazed his skin, mingling with the tender touch of your hands. The ointment possessed a subtle fragrance, hinting at the natural remedies it held within.

As you continued to apply the ointment, your fingers delicately tracing the contours of his chest, exploring the intricate landscape of his injuries, a comfortable silence settled between you. The rhythm of your ministrations became a quiet conversation, a wordless understanding of care and compassion. With every gentle caress, a subtle shiver passed through him, a reaction that spoke of both vulnerability and an underlying trust in your touch. There was a closeness in this shared moment, a connection forged through the tender act of healing.

Neteyam's gaze remained fixed on you, his eyes revealing a depth of gratitude and something more profound. It was as if the vulnerability of his wounds had peeled away a layer, exposing a vulnerability of the heart. The strength he embodied as a warrior was softened in this vulnerable space, allowing a snippet into the depths of his mind and soul.

"It never stings when you patch me up, why?" Neteyam asked, his voice laced with wonder, tilting his head slightly.

"The secret is to mix yalnabark with 'omsyul," you replied, your voice gentle yet filled with a hint of playfulness.

"Care to share this secret with my grandmother? And Kiri, too?" Neteyam's request was teasing but also genuine, and you couldn't help but be touched by his thoughtfulness.

"Actually, Kiri is the one who taught me this," you admitted, a fondness in your voice.

Neteyam's forehead furrowed slightly, "Then why does it always burn when she patches me up?"

With a twinkle in your eyes, you playfully suggested, "Sibling love?"

A mischievous smile curved his lips. "Or perhaps your touch is blessed by Eywa?" His words hung in the air, filled with a newfound flirtation that took you by surprise.

"Oh, come on now, exaggerate much, do you?" you responded, attempting to brush off his words with a hint of irony, not fully realizing the impact they had on you.

Undeterred by your sarcastic retort, Neteyam looked deeply into your eyes, his voice filled with sincerity and a touch of vulnerability. "The caress of your hand weaves a tapestry of enchantment, casting a spell that captivates my very soul."

His words echoed in your mind, resonating with a blend of tender affection and longing. You wished he had said those words when you were younger and so in love with him, meaning every syllable coming from his kissable lips. What you would have given to hear him say it.

A blush spread across your cheeks as you struggled to find the right words to respond. The air around you seemed charged with electricity, the tension between you both palpable.

"You said I should exaggerate," Neteyam added, a witty glint in his eyes, as if to remind you of your earlier banter.

Your younger self would have etched his previous words into a tree to make them eternal — words you longed to hear from your crush, words that felt like a dream.

"Crush?" he asked with interest, and your eyes widened with the realization that you had spoken your thoughts aloud. "On whom?"

"Um," a jumble of thoughts flooded your mind at once, too late for an excuse, "You?"

Your confession left him momentarily speechless, and your heart pounded in your chest.

It's in the past, so it's okay to admit it, you told yourself, trying to calm down a bit.

"You have a crush on me?"

"Had," you corrected quickly.

"You had a crush on me?" he asked again, as if needing confirmation. It seemed to sweep him off his feet, a revelation he hadn't expected.

"Everyone did, everyone does," you confessed, trying to downplay the significance.

"Everyone except you?"

You shrugged, unsure how to answer, "I guess I'm… over it."

"Why?" he inquired.

"Come on, Neteyam," you sighed, trying to mask the bitterness in your voice, "don't act like you didn't know."

"I swear by Eywa this is news to me… I have never…" he hesitated briefly with his words, "It doesn't even make sense."

Make sense?

"Don't make me regret telling you," you said, your voice tinged with frustration, "It's not about making sense, and it's not a big deal either, don't you agree?"

"Yes, but I try to understand."

"What is there to understand?"

"Why would you even crush on me in the first place?"

Oh.

"You're right," you tightly gripped the cloth, forcing a smile, "why would I."

Even though you reluctantly admitted it, it hurt you and scratched at your ego. You were now more than grateful to have never openly communicated your feelings. As an adult, you could handle it, but you know exactly that this reaction would have devastated your childhood self. You were not accustomed to this insensitivity from Neteyam, considering he always maintained a noble and respectable demeanor. This showed you even more how repulsive the idea of having you by his side was to him.

"Also, I'm sorry," you turned around in a swing, your voice filled with sadness, disappointment, and above all, anger—anger at him for acting like a skxawng and anger at yourself for being a skxawng by confiding in him, "that the thought of me being attracted to you disgusts you so much. It won't happen again, rest your mind."

He seemed lost for words, blinking once, twice, and opening his mouth only to close it again, processing your words. Part of you yearned for him to say something, to prove you wrong, but nothing came. His gaze lingered on you for a long moment, altering between your eyes, the unspoken words hanging in the air.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm needed elsewhere," you said, your voice tinged with resignation. You prepared to turn away, ready to retreat from the turmoil of the moment. But just as you began to pivot, a sudden, gentle grip on your arm stopped you in your tracks. It was Neteyam, his touch both unexpected and tender.

In that instant, conflicting emotions surged within you, caught between the instinct to push him away and the captivating gaze that held your attention. Without uttering a single word, he drew you closer, wrapping you in a tight embrace that left you completely defenseless, your body momentarily frozen in surprise against his bare skin.

Your initial response was to resist, your mind still reeling from the whirlwind of confusion. Yet, as his arms enveloped you, a scent as enchanting as the forest's vibrant essence and the serenity of sacred woods wafted into your consciousness. It was a harmonious blend that stirred your senses, mingling the fragrant allure of nature with the grounding whispers of sandalwood.

Inhaling deeply, the captivating aroma cast a spell upon you, dissolving the remnants of anger and frustration that had once consumed your thoughts like a distant memory as he held you firmly in his strong arms, the warmth of his body seeping into your very core.

In this suspended moment, time appeared to lose its grip as the only audible sounds were the rhythm of your synchronized breaths and the rhythmic beat of your hearts.

"I'm sorry too," you heard him whisper in your hair as he pulled away from you and left the tent, leaving you confused.

It was in that moment, surrounded by the fading light and the soft whispers of the forest outside the tent, that you realized the painful truth: nothing would be the same between you and Neteyam because

no matter what you did, you would never be able to make him love you.

And exactly this is the reason of your sleepless nights, which is why, in the middle of your melancholic nostalgia, you decided to take a little walk to the lake nearby to pass the time until daybreak which leads you to the lake. You currently sit on a mossy tree stump above the shimmering water allowing your feet to hang freely just above the glistening surface of the lake, instead of sleeping safe and sound like the rest of the village. The purples, greens, and yellows of the bioluminescent flora and fauna smile at you but you fail to smile back. Your heart heavy with a mix of emotions and your mind full of questions, you try not to think of more memories, each one feeling like a dagger, piercing your already fragile heart.

You try to understand, yet it's difficult for you.

After so many failed attempts and moments of acceptance in between, he still manages to confuse you with his mixed signals. The moment, when he hugged you, replays relentlessly in your thoughts as if burned in your mind, a vivid recollection that carries the weight of his proximity, the tempting linger of his scent, and the electric touch that ignited a fierce tension within you. It was an encounter that left an indelible mark, an irresistible dance between desire and restraint, etching itself into the deepest recesses of your longing soul.

You groan into your hands. You want to hate him. So much.

Three eclipses have come and gone since then, way too much time to think between that and the part where you made the decision to distance yourself from Neteyam. This time for real. You wake up earlier than everyone else, dedicating yourself to your work, skipping communal meals and shared gatherings entirely. You complete your tasks and retreat back to your home, like a ghost in the clan, yet living unscathed within your own space, seeking solace in the sanctuary of solitude.

Almost every hour, you find yourself battling with conflicting emotions. On one hand, you long to see him, to be in his presence, and to feel that familiar connection. But on the other hand, you remember his last words and the way he looked at you when he learned about your past feelings. Distance will be best for the both of you. The ache in your heart hasn't subsided, but you know the step is necessary for your own well-being, it's a shield you've built to preserve what little strength remains within you.

Yesterday, your changed behavior was noticed by Tsahik, so she confronted you directly, but she neither questioned you nor expected any form of explanation. Her words still echo in your mind, partly because forgetting the moment will be difficult with the way she looked at you with her kind eyes, as if understanding the depths of your heartache.

"My child," she laid her hand gently on your shoulder, her voice carrying the wisdom of the ages, "Sometimes the tides do not turn in the way we hope but that does not diminish the beauty of the love within your heart. Always remember that Eywa has woven the threads of affection and devotion. Thus, have trust that the stars will align one day, for love, in all its form, is a gift to cherish."

The words resonate deep within your soul, as you sit by the tranquil water, the soft glow of the plants casting an ethereal light around you, a gentle breeze rustles through the verdant foliage. In these moments of isolation, you reflect on the times you've spent with Neteyam, the moments that sparked the flame of attraction within you. You question whether those were genuine or merely figments of your imagination, the doubts swirling in your mind, clouding your judgment and feeding your insecurities.

The stars above seem to mirror the twinkle in your eyes, a bittersweet reminder of the unfulfilled desire for you can't comprehend why your heart continues to long for him despite your mind trying to move on. Your thoughts are deep in contemplation when—

"Can we talk?" The voice startles you, and you flinch sharply, almost letting out a scream. Your heart pounds heavily in your chest, the fright taking hold of you. Quickly, you turn around, only to see that out of everyone, Neteyam approaches you, his figure blending seamlessly with the natural surroundings.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," a crooked smile forms on his lips.

You look up, meeting his gaze with a guarded expression, unsure of what to expect from this encounter. His presence catches you off guard, causing your heart to skip another beat. The sight of him stirs a mix of emotions within you—longing, uncertainty, fear, but also a flicker of hope.

"You didn't," you lie, your voice tinged with coldness.

He nods his head towards the space beside you, "May I?"

Neteyam's eyes hold a certain earnestness, a silent plea for understanding. You just shrug your shoulders, and he interprets it as a yes. He takes a seat beside you, his movements graceful and measured, his tail gently swaying in the air, your shoulders and thighs nearly touching.

The silence between you is tense, charged with unspoken words and residual feelings. You let your feet dangle above the water. As you wiggle your toes, you feel a gentle coolness from the air mingling with the refreshing touch of the water below.

He clears his voice, "I've noticed your absence these past few days."

"Oh?" Your ears perk up with curiosity, surprised that he has noticed, "I was busy."

"You were missing from the meal servings as well," he notes, his words carrying a hint of concern.

"Yeah, I haven't had much of an appetite lately," you reply, sounding detached.

You aren't sure if you have misheard, but it seems like Neteyam has whispered softly to himself, "Me neither," although it can also be your mind playing tricks on you.

"You see, I, uh..." he pauses, seemingly struggling to find the right words which is so unusual for him, "Can I speak openly with you?"

"Don't you always?" Your voice still laced with a hint of coldness.

"Indeed," you noticed from the corner of your eye a brief tension in his hands that gradually relaxes, "I just wanted to let you know that there is no need for you to feel obligated to skip communal gatherings because of me."

You can't help but scoff at that, however, he remains undeterred by your reaction.

"It's okay if you don't want to see me — I will keep my distance if that is what you want, but, please, don't avoid the clan in an attempt to avoid me. Don't isolate yourself."

"Funny," you say bitterly, your gaze still on the water, "that you think you have that much power over me."

"That's not what I wanted to say, it's—"

"It's fine, Neteyam," you interrupt him, turning your head to him, your jaw clenched, "I get it. If the future Olo'eyktan says so, I'll comply. See you at the morning meal."

You attempt to get up, but he gently grasps your wrist, halting your movement.

"I can sense that something has changed between us, and it weighs heavily on my heart," his voice carries a hint of vulnerability.

"Things change," you respond as he loosens his grip, but you refrain from attempting to get up again, waiting for the conversation to end, "Is there anything else?"

"Yes," he shifts, causing your thighs to briefly brush against each other, "I've had time to reflect on our last conversation."

"Actually, let's not—" you try to interrupt him, but this time he doesn't let your words stop him.

"Let me say this one thing and after that you don't have to talk to me again."

You meet his gaze, which is filled with honesty and a touch of guilt. You nod and look at him, noticing how he rubs his hands on his thighs and takes a deep breath.

"I was caught off guard," he admits, his voice softer now, "When we talked, I mean; and when I learned that you used to feel an affection for me — I didn't handle it well. I'm sorry for the way I reacted and for the pain I may have caused you."

You remain silent for a few seconds remembering the unpleasant conversation from last time, before you speak, "We don't have to talk about it, it's okay."

"No, it's not okay!" You notice the tension in his muscles. "You see," he takes a deep breath, "I didn't understand why you would crush on me."

"You made that very clear," you remark.

"I regret my poor choice of words, and for any offense it may have caused. I immediately noticed that my words had an impact on you, but I was too overwhelmed to correct myself in the moment," he admits, a hint of regret in his voice, "Please know that the idea of you being attracted to me never has and never will disgust me," his eyes lock with yours as his voice gets quieter when he adds, "It scares me."

Upon hearing that, your features soften slightly, a flicker of empathy crossing your face, and the question leaves your mouth before you can think about it, "Why?"

Now he's the one shrugging, "Everyone has their own doubts and fears."

You're not satisfied with that response, and you want him to open up to you for which you are willing to meet him halfway. So you begin an attempt to make him elaborate on his statement, "I'm scared of many things." you watch him intently as you speak, "Accidentally plucking poisonous plants instead of the usual herbs, falling down the hallelujah mountains, being eaten alive by nantangs." And most of all, rejection. "I can't help but wonder what fears could reside within a mighty warrior like yourself."

His mouth twitches slightly upwards when you say that, but is quickly replaced by a neutral expression. "The possibility of someone seeing through my façade," Neteyam admits sighing, his voice laced with a mix of confusion and self-reflection, "Of someone truly knowing me," he holds your gaze, a certain vulnerability in them, "That terrifies me."

You are left speechless, completely caught off guard by his answer.

"But," you stammer, trying to find the right words to express your thoughts, "you're Neteyam, you're... perfect in everything you do. I never considered the possibility that you might have these thoughts."

He shakes his head, disagreeing. "No, definitely not, I am far off from being perfect. That's why I couldn't understand why you would have feelings for me," he confesses, vulnerability shining in his gaze. "Because I never saw myself the way you did. But maybe, just maybe, this is why I've been blind to the possibility of something more between us."

"If you're only here to make me feel better about myself..." you start, your voice trailing off.

"No," he groans in frustration. "That's not it."

"Then what is it?"

He chuckles at your reaction, "I get nervous when you look at me that way."

"What do you mean?" You are the one getting nervous because of his statement for he doesn't look nervous at all, on the contrary, he looks very relaxed and almost overconfident.

"Yeah, can't you tell my hands are all sweaty?" he lets you know with a smirk while he studies your face.

"Neteyam," you blink in confusion, "Are you okay?"

"You're not listening," he sighs, his smile dropping slightly.

"Then talk openly," you urge impatiently.

He takes a deep breath and looks you directly in the eyes. "I've come to realize that you mean more to me than just a friend."

Your features falter and your eyes widen, as the realization dawns upon you that your feelings have not been unrequited after all. "No."

"I have a crush on you, too," he whispers euphorically, confirming your thoughts.

"No, Neteyam, not now," you shake your head quickly, your mind filled with way too many thoughts and too much confusion. Instantly, you stand up as if stung by an insect, trying to maintain your composure.

"It didn't start now, it was always there," he admits, standing up as well, now towering over you and studying your face and your reaction again. "But I fear that I've missed my chance. And now, it seems like it's too late."

Ignoring his words entirely, you fixate your serious gaze on him, "You can't do this to me."

"What?" he blinks, seeming to comprehend your words, "Why?" his gaze momentarily shifts from one eye to the other with a swift glance, reflecting his confusion.

"Because all my life, I did everything to try to make you notice me. I went beyond my comfort zone, I did everything I could. But from you," You look at him, gesturing towards his entire figure as if the reason were obvious, "there was nothing. Not one single acknowledgment from you. I accepted it. I moved on. I made peace with the thought of just knowing you and supporting what is good for you," You find yourself almost breathless, your words tumbling out rapidly, but each one carries sincere meaning. "You can't come now, years later, and pretend that you have a crush on me. I can't go through that again."

He takes a step forward, clearly taken aback by your outburst. "I... I'm not pretending to—"

"And I'm so tired," you interrupt him, your voice faltering, "Now that I've finally let go of you, you can't say things like this."

"Let go?" he repeats, his voice filled with disbelief, "Of me?"

"Yes, Neteyam," you persist firmly. "Let go of you. I don't want you anymore."

The night air feels heavy with unspoken regrets and unfulfilled desires as the silence underlines the shared acknowledgment of the chasm that has opened between you. Neteyam's expression shifts from disappointment to determination, a flicker of hope dancing in his eyes. "How do I make you love me, then?"

It feels ironic that he's asking you that question, considering you used to be the one who always wondered how you could make him love you whenever you saw him. You groan in frustration, feeling overwhelmed by conflicting emotions.

"I worked so hard to accept things as they are. That is not fair, Neteyam." A mix of sadness and anger can be heard in your voice.

"Please listen," he pleads, reaching out to touch your arm. You close your eyes, turning your head away. "I've been blind to your feelings, consumed by my own worries and obligations, and I didn't see what was right in front of me, hurting you in the process. I'm sorry I caused you pain. If I had known sooner…"

"What then?" you interrupt, your voice filled with bitterness. "Do you think everything would magically change, and we'd be deeply in love with a family of our own by now?"

Neteyam pauses for a moment, processing your words, and a hopeful smile crosses his face. "Yes, that's a possibility."

You groan in exasperation and attempt to push him away, your frustration boiling over. "No, Neteyam. I can't keep living in this cycle of uncertainty."

As you push him away from you, your heart heavy, you walk away with determined steps, wanting to bring as much distance between him and you as possible.

"I love you!" he shouts after you, causing you to freeze in your tracks and turn around in utter shock. "I love you. And if that's not enough, then so be it. But I would rather be damned than let you go now, heading who knows where in the middle of the night. If you don't want me, I won't approach you, I won't come near. But don't run away from me."

Desperation visible in his voice, his words reach deep into your heart; the intensity echoing in the air, leaving a profound impact on both of you.

"I've been waiting for your love for far too long," you respond bitterly.

Taking cautious steps in your direction, trying to close the physical and emotional distance between you, he asks, "Why waste more time?" It feels as if an invisible force draws you together, intertwining your fates in this pivotal moment but you remain stubborn, too exhausted and clouded from the painful burn in your heart.

"I don't want you," you declare, the words slipping out uncertainly, as if trying to convince both him and yourself.

"Then look me in the eyes when you say those words," he challenges, his voice stern, gaze unwavering.

"I don't want you," you repeat, louder this time, trying to emphasize your resolve. However, instead of looking into his eyes, your gaze fixates on his face, tracing the patterns of his glowing freckles that your mind has memorized long ago.

The moonlight bathes the scene in a gentle gleam, and you both stare at each other in complete silence, the space between you filled with suffocating tension.

A knowing smile suddenly forms on his lips. "I don't believe you."

"I don't want you, Neteyam!" you exclaim, raising your voice even more, repeating the words over and over, in a desperate attempt to convince him, "I don't want you, I don't want you, I don't want you!"

He studies you intently for another moment, his eyes filled with hope.

"Your tail gives you away," he says triumphantly, his smile growing. And that's when you finally let go of your suppressed emotions. Your lower lip begins to tremble, and before you know it, you find yourself in his warm embrace, his strong arms pulling you impossibly closer to him.

"I want you," you confessed against his chest, your voice barely audible and filled with so much vulnerability, "After everything, I still want you."

"Shh, you have me," he whispers, his voice soothing and reassuring.

You sob, the weight of your emotions finally breaking free, and he tenderly pats your head, his fingers gliding through your hair. His touch brings a sense of calmness to your racing heart and gently dries your tears.

"I'll make up for all the time lost, I promise," his voice reaches your ear, soft and full of sincerity.

His words continue to soothe you, and at one point, he hums a faint melody that resonates deep within you, gradually bringing an end to your sobs.

"Do you recall the day you asked about my plans after my Dream Hunt, and I hesitated to provide an answer?" He asks after you calm down, his voice carrying an infinite sense of solace.

Your arms still around him, you nod against his chest, every word of that conversation etched into your mind.

"That day," he continues, "I have sworn to myself to admire your eternal beauty from afar, to cherish your body, mind, and soul until the end of my days," he whispers softly in your hair, "with the hope that one day I will hold you close and claim you as my very own."

You take a deep breath, feeling overwhelmed by his words and the emotions swirling within you. Slowly, you lift your head from his chest, your teary eyes meeting his with awe.

"I... I never imagined you felt this way," you whisper, your voice hoarse and fragile from your sobs. "To think that you've carried these feelings for me all this time, it's... I don't know what to say."

"Interesting," he comments, eyes with a gleam, lips playful, "You were just as oblivious to my feelings as I was to yours, so I guess that makes us even." A mischievous bunny-like smile plays across his face, transforming him into the youthful version of himself that you have fallen deeply in love with, no longer the mighty warrior following in the footsteps of the great Toruk Makto, but the young man who has captured your heart long ago.

You can feel tears welling up in your eyes again, overwhelmed by the weight of his words and the intensity of your own emotions. With a shaky breath, you reach to your waist, gently intertwining your fingers with his.

In the warmth of his arms, you find solace for your burning heart. His arms hold you tightly, offering a sense of intimate security that you've always wished for. But then, something shifts.

The intensity of your emotions begins to wane, and as you look up at him through tear-filled eyes, you see his gaze fixed upon you with unwavering love, trying to read you as he cups your face with his large hands. His thumb gently brushes away a lingering tear on your cheek, his touch delicate against your skin. A soft, affectionate smile graces his lips as he leans forward and presses a gentle kiss against the place where your tear was mere seconds ago. The sweetness of the gesture stirs your heart, a silent affirmation of his loving nature. He continues to kiss away your tears, each touch a soothing balm to your wounded soul.

A powerful desire burns between you then, as his soft lips linger near yours. His eyes meet yours again, seeking permission, and you respond with a silent nod. Right then and there, the world around you fades into the background, and all that matters is the connection you share. With a surge of passion, his lips meet yours in a fervent kiss, the longing coming to an end, hearts intertwined.

The tender touch of his lips against yours feels like an electric jolt that sends shivers down your spine. You both pull back slowly from the passionate kiss, breathless yet connected. Your eyes meet, gazing into each other with a depth of love that words can never describe.

His eyes hold unwavering sincerity as he caresses your cheek with his thumb. "You've captured my heart in ways I can't fully express," he confesses, his voice filled with affection. "And if you'll allow me, I want to show you every day how deeply I love you."

A deep blue blush tints your cheeks as you struggle to find the right words to respond. He doesn't seem to mind as a soft smile spreads across his face. He leans in, his forehead resting against yours, adoring the tranquil moment between two souls.

Enjoying each other's presence and your newfound attraction and happiness, you spend the rest of the night hand in hand wandering around mindlessly, exchanging loving gazes, talking about everything and sweet nothing's at once like two fools in love.

"Do you remember that day?" You hear him ask cheerfully as his free hand wanders to the songcord attached to his loincloth. You follow his movement and your eyes widen as you recognize the dried petals, intricately woven into one of the beads. "It was so unconventional, going against tradition. Who has ever seen a girl giving a flower to a boy? No one. But you didn't care. You were true to yourself, and you gifted me your favorite flower, and it meant so much more than just a little gesture."

Taking aback by his words and the bittersweet memory you can't help but smile widely as you inspect his songcord but confusion grazes your face at the same time.

"Wait—What do you mean? Lo'ak told me it's your favorite flower."

"No, he told me it's your favorite."

"Well, it became my favorite after I learned that it's yours."

A boisterous laugh escapes him as he throws his head back, his chest almost vibrating, and it is so contagious that you can't help but join in, the air filled with heartfelt laughter.

"It's gonna cause quite a scandal, but Lo'ak definitely deserves a good punch when he wakes up." You laughed, knowing that he meant that half-heartedly.

He delicately cradles your hand back in his, your fingers intertwining as he brings them up, his lips softly brushing against your knuckles in a loving kiss. The touch sends a warmth through your body.

"Speaking of scandals," you say sheepishly as you reluctantly let go of his hand, "maybe it's better not to enter our village hand in hand just yet?"

He chuckles at your suggestion.

"Maybe," he agrees, his eyes filled with adoration, his face leaning slightly forward, "Can I have one last kiss before that?"

You look at him challengingly, he mirrors your expression, a playful glint in his eyes, coming closer to your face.

Your lips almost touching for the second time this night, you whisper, "Only if you catch me."

With that, you run off, your heart blooming with excitement, and his laughter follows you through the enchanting forest as the sun rises, casting its warm rays across the sky, and you know that the future holds nothing but love for the both of you.

for anyone asking, neteyam does in fact catch you and gets his kiss(es) <3 thank you for reading, liking, commenting, reblogging 🤍 btw, what is your love language? 💕

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averageperson888 · 5 months

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#femcel #cinnamon girl #female manipulator #lana del rey #female hysteria #girlblogging #ldr aesthetic #this is a girlblog #coquette #divine feminine #journal #female directed films #diary #dear diary #sylvia plath #girl interupted syndrome #girl interrupted syndrome #i be writing on another level

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quotefeeling · 25 days

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When you're an introvert like me and you've been lonely for a while, and then you find someone who understands you, you become really attached to them. It's a real release.

Lana Del Rey

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milfgyuu · 6 months

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Wonwoo knows he can be a little aloof at times and he doesn’t mean to be. It’s just too easy to get lost in his head and his work so he really tries to focus on the little things. He refills your tea when it’s empty. Covers you with a blanket when you fall asleep on the couch, taking an extra minute to watch your even breathing and kiss your hair. He holds your hand in the car and he always touches you as he walks by, just to remind you that he’s here even when he’s not able to be fully present. There are short handwritten notes left all over the house. Some practical like “grabbing milk after work” and some more intimate like the one left stuck to the lamp on your bedside table, “I’ll be thinking about you all day. Dinner tonight, making reservations. I love you, xx” 🖤

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heyhilana · 2 years

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Hi honey ^^! Hope you are doing just great, i was wondering if i can ask for a Pedro One Shot, where he's in a relationship with a more young female reader (she's 25), and one day when all started with a cuddle sesion after days where they can't see each other, the cuddles just turn into something else, the reader and Pedro just want to feel each other with loving amd cute sex but of course with a lot of pleasure.

Hi lovely <3 I'm sorry for the little wait since I'm a little busy with irl things but I loved this request idea :) I hope I did it justice with the cute and loving aspect of things. Thank you for requesting ✨

Summary: Pedro returns home from TLOU filming and you both cuddle in bed watching a movie. But as you both get closer you just so happen to make up for all the lost time in other ways.

Pairing: Pedro x !f reader

Warnings: Oral (f receiving), p in v sex that is unprotected (what can I say I love it but still, safe sex is great sex first and foremost), creampie (i think it's fitting since they've been apart). Besides that, just a pile of loving Pedro <3

Word Count: 3.3k

Masterlist

You were waiting at the airport for Pedro, twiddling your fingers as you wanted to watch him walk through those doors. After a few weeks of being away due to him filming for The Last of Us, you were practically wanting to hug him for hours on end to make up for the lost time. You knew he loved his jobs but the distance could be a little hard on you both as you wished you could be on set with him. But all the missing him went away the minute you saw his infamous curls and his luggage. You ran to him and he let go of his luggage to hug you back, his warm embrace making you smile so widely. He always knew how to make you feel safe in his arms, like the world could never touch either one of you when you were together. He kissed your head a few times, the soft intimacy feeling like home.

“How’s mi vida doing?” You loved the names he had for you, always finding a new one every day.

“I’m doing better now that I’m seeing you.” You pulled your head up to see his tired eyes looking down at you, still full of love. He kissed your forehead, your nose, both your cheeks, and then your lips as a 4 part because he told you that how could he only kiss one part of you.

“Still so beautiful. You get better every day you know that?” He grabbed his luggage and you led him to the elevator that led to the parking lot. You got in first and he followed before you pressed the floor number.

“I could say the same for you. You age like fine wine.” He rolled his eyes as the elevator doors closed.

“Fine wine you say? Might have to pop open one of the bottles we’ve been saving.” You had already planned on opening one of his favorite bottles, a 1975 Napa Valley wine that he had been saving for a while. You figured two glasses wouldn’t hurt and it would be a nice surprise along with the dinner that you had planned for him.

“I have it all planned out. All you have to do is just relax since you seem to want to move around too much.”

“Me? Moving around? Maybe,” It was your turn to roll your eyes as the elevator dinged and the doors opened, letting you both walk out.

“I will strap you down to a chair if I have to.”

“Strap me down? Don’t threaten me with a good time,” You playfully hit his arm as you hit the car alarm on your key to find where you parked.

“You never remember where you park do you?”

“It’s not my fault the lot is so big.”

“We’ve been in the smallest of lots and you still forget.” You ignored that last comment as you saw the lights on your car blinking all the way down to the end.

“See, I remember.”

“Sure you do.” You both walked down to the end a little faster, popping the hood of your car and helping him put his luggage in. Once you closed the trunk you hopped into the driver’s seat and he went into the passenger seat, having to move the seat back far for him to fit.

“How close up do you have to be?”

“It’s not my fault I’m average height and you’re taller than me.” You started the car and began to pull out, looking for the exit to get out.

“You mean below average height?”

“Still gonna make fun of that doctor’s appointment huh?” Once he heard that the nurse said you were below average height, he never let it go.

“Your face was priceless hun. But you know I love your height.” He took your hand that was resting on the gear and kissed it before you pulled it away to turn and get out of the lot. The drive was short with Pedro being the DJ and playing Prince tracks all the way home which you found to be endearing. Hearing him sing a little off-key during Purple Rain put you in a fit of laughter as he fell right back into his fantasy of singing with Prince. But that all came to an end when you pulled into the driveway of your shared home. Turning off the car right when the song ended.

“Thank you for the performance of a lifetime.” You joked, and he rolled his eyes.

“You got all the jokes don’t you?”

“I’m a part time comedian, didn’t you know?” You both got out of the car, walking to the back of the trunk and popped it.

“Oh so there’s more than just the 20 hats you wear in a day.” You pulled his luggage out and handed it to him. You close the trunk and you both went walking to the pathway leading to your front door.

“What am I? Cat in the Hat to you?”

“Maybe. You just have so many things in that head of yours that I can’t wait to see.” You felt the heat rise to your cheeks as you opened the door. Just as you walked in you were greeted by Edgar who ran over to you both to get his usual head pats and hugs. You petted him before he ran to Pedro, jumping all over him and Pedro gave him all the love in the world. You knew that he would forget about his luggage so you brought it in and set it in the living room, kicking off your shoes just as Pedro finished with Edgar.

“I see Edgar let me have you back,” You joked as Edgar ran off to somewhere, presumably to his dog bed.

“Hey, he may be man’s best friend but you’re man’s best lover.”

“That acting gig of yours really pays off you know?”

“I know. It led me to finding you on set.” He began to take his luggage and bring it to the room just as you were taking off your jacket and hanging it up in the closet. You walked into the bedroom to see Pedro already taking off his outer layers, your eyes drifting to his soft belly that was showing due to his shirt rolling up. He caught your stare and playfully stripped off his pants, making you burst into laughter when he took them off and swung them in the air before landing it in the hamper.

“Stick to the acting.” You took off your outer layers and climbed into the bed, him following suit right after.

“You know you loved the show.” He pulled up next to you and put his hand on your waist, making butterflies grow in your stomach.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”

“You’re so cute when you lie.” He tickled you a little, making you jump.

“Ah, please don’t!” Your eyes widened as he got on top of you, rolling up your shirt.

“Please what? Oh you want me to tickle you?” The mischievous smirk on his face made you frantically shake your head no. He dove in anyway, ticking your sides as you cracked up.

“A-Ah! P-Pedro!” You were squirming with tears in your eyes from laughter as he tickled you.

“Say please,”

“Please!” You barely got it out but once you did, he stopped and wiped his eyes from the tears, his rich laugh filling the room. He let you catch your breath as he laid back down beside you.

“Payback is a bitch.” You were already devising a plan to get back at him.

“We’ll see about that.” He wrapped his arm around your waist again, snuggling close to you. You smiled as you looked out the window, enjoying the soft glow of the sun entering the room. As you were cuddling, he drew light circles on your exposed skin thanks to your shirt still rolled up from his previous antics. You snuggled closer to him by scooching back, feeling him pressed up against your back. The close proximity made you smile, his warm embrace and the tender intimacy making you forget all about the world and the troubles in it.

“I really missed you hun. You make my days better,”

“I missed you more. I got to have you all to myself, mi pedrito,” He lightly kissed your neck as you spoke, his soft lips unable to ignore. “But I see you missed me in other ways.” You half laughed at what you said yet it turned into a sharp moan as he began to suck a small hickey on your neck. His hand moved from your stomach to the waistband of your sweats, trailing down slowly to tease you even with the layers on. You just so happened to roll your hips into his touch, needing more. You missed his strong hands exploring your body pulling you close, stimulating you effortlessly. He pulled off of your neck, creating a huge mark that couldn’t be covered up.

“I missed seeing pretty marks like that on you. “ You moved away to pull off the rest of your clothes and he did the same with his. He moved to the foot of the bed where he could pull down your sweats in one go, slapping your ass when you lifted your lower half up.

“Never gonna stop doing that huh?”

“How could I? I have to make up for not doing it at the airport.” He winked as he pulled off your sweats that were dangling at your feet. He took one of your legs and kissed right at your ankle, peppering as he went up your leg, your soft and smooth skin in start contrast to this mustache that was prickling at it. You watched him in awe, seeing how he enjoyed the foreplay just as much as you did. He got close to your inner thigh and he gently put down your leg, spreading it a little so he could have a perfect view of you. He kissed your inner thighs and even teased with kissing your outer lips, dangerously close to where you wanted him to be yet not doing it just yet.

“How is it that you went away and you’re still teasing me?”

“That’s the fun part about this, doll. Why rush when I just got home? I get to have my way with you without stopping or rushing.” A man of patience he was and that drove you insane. He moved a little back from your thighs and just eyed your glistening pussy, like a hunter stalking his prey.

“I can’t get enough of how wet you are.” His finger gently touched your clit, “We’ve only been cuddling for a few minutes and you’re already soaked to the touch.” You whined as he moved his finger down to your pulsating hole, pushing in a little but not as much as he should which made you want to move him in yourself.

“Pedro, please!” He looked at up you, and you could see those honey-hued eyes darken into obsidian as he fell for your needy state. He dove in, a light stripe on your slit sending shivers down your spine. Deft fingers toying with your hole and finally being pushed in, stretching your walls with ease and curling inside you. You brought your hand down to card through his soft curls, lightly tugging once he got to using his lips to suck on the raised nub that ached for him.

It was as if he never left, the ease in playing with your body and leaving you yearning for more, the way you knew no one else could bring you to the brink of overstimulation. He always knew how to make obscenities fall out of your mouth, how even when you were normally quiet he could make you scream practically for all the neighbors to hear unless he decided to put a hand on your mouth to shush you. And here you were, the soft whimpers and breathless begging for more, soft ‘fucks’ and ‘s’good’ flowing out of you as if it was nothing. And he was drinking it all up while he tasted you, not getting enough of how sweet like honey you were.

The more his fingers curled inside you with precision, the more your velvety walls closed around them, pulsating even due to the dual pleasure you were receiving. He knew that his humming as he happily tasted you would send you closer to the edge so he did just that, humming as he sucked harder on your pleasure spot, all to make you ruin his face just the way he wanted you to do. You tugged on his hair just a little harder, feeling that build up in the pit of your stomach rise faster than you could handle.

“So close,” You whimpered, your breath catching in your through as he curled his fingers once, twice, three times to bring it out of you, your back arching in reaction to the pull of your orgasm washing over you instantly. You screamed over and over his name, not caring that your next door neighbor would hear you scream yet again. He eventually pulled his fingers out and brought them to your mouth, watching you suck them clean and he groaned, a guttural groan erupting from him due to how your lips wrapped around his fingers.

“Should I just have you hang over this bed and use your pretty mouth?” You frantically nodded yes but he just kissed your forehead before moving to the side, pulling your leg up.

“Maybe a little later. But for now, I just want to feel you.” He spat in his other hand and rubbed his cock to get it prepped, moving up slightly to press the tip up at your aching core. Before he could push in you moved your ass back to move it inside you, both of you moaning as he entered you.

“Can’t help yourself huh? Just want to fuck yourself on this cock like the pretty girl you are,” You kept moving front and back, wanting him to fill you to the brim. But he must’ve decided that your pace wasn’t enough which made him take control and meet you halfway, balls slapping as he couldn’t get enough of you. He felt so wonderful, perfect size that brushed against the spot that his fingers curled up to, stretching you just enough to make your eyes roll back, and a pace that could wind you up just enough where he could coax you into cumming again, to overstimulate you from his touch. He loved the way you whined, seeing how vocal you became just from his ministrations.

“That’s it, let everyone know how much you missed me. You can do it,” His endless praise made you moan louder, and in turn he touched you all over, finding that exploring your body endlessly was all that he wanted, that you were a work of perfection that he couldn’t get enough of.

“I love you,”

“I love you more.” He titled your head towards his and kissed you, all the passion making your head spin. He kept up his pace, making you moan in his mouth. You pulled back and caught your breath, moving your hand down to grip the sheets. But instead, he grabbed your hand and pulled it close to your chest, anything to steady yourself while your peak was getting close. You turned your head and kissed him, moaning into his mouth as he kept the same pace.

“Where do you want me to cum?”

“Inside me.” You breathlessly replied, your mind fading in and out as the pleasure was so close to blinding you.

“Yeah? You’re going to milk my cock so much bonita.” The Spanish names flowing out of him little by little always set your mind ablaze, wanting him to continue on.

“Más!”

“Oh? You missed my little sayings in Spanish? Missed how I can tell you to let go for me and you do it in an instant?” You couldn’t respond, only gripping his hand more as your other hand traveled south to your pleasure point.

“Mírate, tocándote para mí.” He whispered in the shell of your ear. You continued to rub tight, fast circles around, feeling yourself losing it already yet you were so close to that blissful pleasure.

“Te amo más que nada en el mundo.” That was enough to let you release, your grip on his hand tightening as you clench all around his length, crying out in ecstasy. You shut your eyes too, letting it take over completely as you knew this was all that you wanted.

Stars were all in your mind, the idea of your mind-blowing orgasm taking you to cloud 9 and beyond. You heard the little call of your name─maybe he was calling your name as he came─and you wanted to speak but all you could let out was another choked moan, feeling yourself getting filled to the brim just as you asked. You only came to when he whispered in your ear and gently caressed your cheek, stilling his thrusts as you stopped shaking.

“Hey, stay with me.” He kissed your cheek as you opened your eyes again, looking out the window and enjoying how beautiful the day was.

“How was that more intense than before you left?” He chuckled at your breathless response.

“Time away always builds up a better time. Although I can’t be apart from you for long.” He got up to get a rag and clean you both off, just as you moved to lay on your back and think about what happened. Pedro came back to clean you off, peppering your body with kisses and murmuring more things in Spanish that you were sure were either sweet or dirty, thinking the latter was more likely. Just as he finished your phone dinged and you got up to look at it, seeing numerous notifications from Twitter. Pedro left before you could say something and came back to lay with you, cleaned up now and ready to take a mid-day nap. You rolled over to face him, scrolling on twitter as your eyes widened.

“Hey, look at this.” You saw that Twitter was blowing up with photos of you and Pedro at the airport, something you hadn’t taken into consideration when you insisted on picking him up. You knew that people would judge the age gap, and you didn’t want to be public about everything unless it was mutually okay on both sides. But the way Pedro pushed your phone down and kissed you again, a way to shush your worries that were going to fly out of your mouth made you feel calm.

“Let them talk about it. All they’re going to see if my beautiful girlfriend picking me up since I hate driving.” You smiled at what he said, knowing that driving was not his most favorite task as the traffic made him question why he went out in the first place.

“You sure you’re okay with this? I know we hadn’t talked about it really.”

“Never been better. I don’t want to hide anymore, not when I know you’re the one I want.” He kissed your nose and laid down again, his eyes getting heavier. “Now let’s take a nap.”

“Of course you want a nap.” You rolled your eyes and laid your head on his chest, feeling the sudden sleepiness hitting you softly.

“You’ll appreciate naps in the future.” He softly spoke before you heard his breathing get a little heavier indicating that sleep took him away quickly. You followed suit, ignoring the world’s opinions, and relishing in the simplicity of spending most of the day in bed with the man who never failed in making you feel loved.

Translations:

Mi vida - My life

Mi pedrito - Basically my pedro but often it can be changed with an ito or ita at the end in Spanish.

Bonita - Pretty/beautiful just depends on how you view it.

Más - More

Mírate, tocándote para mí - Look at you, touching yourself for me.

Te amo más que nada en el mundo - I love you more than anything else in the world. (at least how i translate it mostly)

I don’t speak Spanish but I do know some things so this is a mixture of what I know and Spanish translate lol. Let me know if anything is wrong :)

#pedropascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal #lana asks #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro pascal fluff #lana writes

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