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easybrainrot34 · 2 months

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He’s the kind of man that not only comes to girl's night out but is fully welcomed. Like POV he’s your boyfriend, you set up a girl's night, and he is fully integrated into girls night. He can be the DD, he can be the man who goes on a snack run, he can be the one who starts the evening by passing out shots like he can do it all. Oh you think you’re the host tonight ? Wrong. it’s him. If one of your friends becomes an emotional drunk, he becomes a therapist. If one of the girls is falling down drunk he’s giving piggyback rides. If it’s a girls night in and the charcuterie board runs low, he’s in the kitchen restocking it.

At least every girl has at least told you twice that they wish they wish there was a clone of your man. But if one of the girls is being suss, you know getting a little too flirty trying to get a little too close to him, he gently reminds them that he is wifey’d up. He also knows all the tea, all the drama, and is fully giving out advice (but if you don’t want advice, he’ll just let u rant).

- Bokuto, Kuroo, Daichi (specifically with him, he’s the kind of man to take everyone’s keys before the drinking starts), Mattsun, Iwazumi (although he has made everyone swear up-and-down that they would never tell Oikawa about girls nights, because he’s just not dealing with that), Ushijima (yes, he’s very stoic, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t know how to have fun), Tendou (if somebody tries to mess with any of you at the bar, he’ll fight a bitch) , and of course, Atsumu

‼️sidenote, I typically write head cannons in a genderless way so you don’t have to be female presenting for this it’s just basically anybody but men because the boys night would be totally different lol‼️

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu crack #haikyuu!!#headcanon #hajime iwaizumi #kotaro bokuto #kuroo tetsurou #atsumu miya #matsukawa issei #daichi sawamura #ushijima wakatoshi #tendou satori #haikyu #mattsun #x reader

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kiwanopie · 2 years

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Top 10 anime men who will lay pipe expeditiously. Haikyuu Edition. *Reupload*

cw: piv, dirty talk, general adult themes. minors do not interact

Akaashi |Run Time: Within the first month| Not exactly a prude, just believes that being more intuned with your partner is necessary to satisfying sex. Plus he likes the build up between general interest and sexual tension. If we’re being honest, he’s probably been thinking of putting his hands all over you since the second date. But he’s courteous enough to let you know that he actually wants to get to know you first. Likes to call you after work during the talking stage just to ask you about your day. Invites you over on his off days to make sure you’re comfortable around him. But again, he’s been holding himself back for a while. And he’s not too coy for a little phone sex in the meantime. - But, boy does he completely lose it when you crawl into his lap during one of your hangout sessions. Your friends still don’t believe you when you introduce them to the guy that “fucked you within an inch of your life” before you officially started dating.

Iwaizumi |Run Time: Within the first few weeks| He likes to believe that the reason he doesn’t rush it is because he’s “old fashioned” and that he’s mature enough to understand that “it takes time for these kinds of things.” Whole time he’s just busy. Trust me, deep down he knows if he had it his way he’d have you folded over three ways to Sunday after the third date. But he has the physical health of like twelve overgrown toddlers to manage and the team moves around pretty often. So, it’s just quick coffee dates and video calls for a while. But trust me, the moment he has time on his hands you’re done for. I suggest clearing your schedule before you meet up! You’re gonna need some time to recover.

Oikawa |Run Time: Within two weeks| First week down though and you can see it physically hurts him that he’s not fucking you as soon as he wants to. Only reason he’s holding out though is because he actually likes you, so he doesn’t want you to think that’s the only thing he’s seeking out. - But you know that meme of that guy who looks like he’s this 🤏 close to having a stroke with all those veins on his face? Yeah. Soon as he knows you’re on the same page though he’s slutting himself out to you like his life depends on it. And he talks the nastiest shit. Will tell you everything he’s been wanting to do to you and then show you in frankly exemplary detail.

Hinata |Run Time: Within a week| To his credit, he’s the most unafraid to let you know how smitten he is with you from the jump. Gave you your phone back after putting his number in with his info under “Shoyo 💕❤️” and told you to call him if you’re looking for someone to treat you right. Literally told you the night you actually hooked up that you were only doing missionary to start off, and when you asked why he replied that you were “Too pretty to fuck in anything but,” With all the sweet talk he uses in the week leading up, you’re not wrong for being completely out of your depth when he fucks you like he hates your guts. But don’t worry, the love’s still there! You’re even prettier when he’s fucked the brains outta you <3

Kuroo |Run Time: Within the first couple of dates| Class traitor often forgets the line between courting a significant other and a sugar baby. Thought the best way to charm your pants off was to buy out the restaurant you’d have your first date at and surprise you with a birkin bag. Isn’t ashamed to let you know he gets off on watching you spend his money and when he’s booking a pent-suite for your third date it takes a very necessary pause during dinner to establish that 1.) Yes, he wants to be your boyfriend. No, he didn’t know that this wasn't the right way to do it. And 2.) He’s only been spending this much money because it’s the only thing stopping him from cumming in his pants the moment he gets within a foot of you. Weird guy. Rearranges your guts like no one’s business.

Bokuto |Run Time: The date after the first| He tries…so hard to hold out, he really does! It’s just god you’re so fucking sexy. Everything you do has his brain short circuiting and he’s starting to want you so bad that it’s making him itch. Your thighs are so squishy and your lips look so plump. Everything about you looks soft to the touch and since meeting you he hasn’t been able to blow a decent load without imagining it’s you squeezing him so tight. Really, the only reason he made it this far is ‘cause first date jitters are a bitch and at the very least he has the decency to let you know he likes you first. - But then you show up in this cute little dress that keeps riding up your thighs when you walk, and the way you pout as you try to pull it down has his head feeling all fuzzy. He tries to stay cordial as he opens the door for you to slide into his car, but the way you smile up at him as he closes it behind you has his resolve breaking into pieces. Lucky for him you’re perceptive enough to notice the literal dick print in his pants the moment he climbs in; and he lights up like a Christmas tree when you suggest a quickie before dinner. Spoiler alert: It won’t be a quickie. Get your refund back on that reservation, sis.

Atsumu |Run Time: The first date| You can’t blame the guy for being shamelessly attracted to you, can you? Who cares about old fashioned courting! It ain’t worth the money if you ain’t walking funny? - All jokes aside though, he’s a firm believer in if two consenting adults like each other enough, they should be able to fuck whenever and however they want. Doesn’t find you any less respectable for letting him put your legs behind your ears on the first date. Although that was after he’d already bent you over in his car, folded you over his kitchen counter, and had you leaving drool stains on his hallway area rug. Eh, you’ll plan your next date in the shower - little hard to talk though with your face pressed against the glass.

Matsukawa |Run Time: Scheduled a time and place for you to link before hand| Hey, if you wanna turn this thing into a relationship then he’s up for that too. But he’s not gonna stress himself trying to hold back from fucking your pretty little brains out. Soon as he gets the O.K. he’s picking a time and place and hightailing it over with no stops in between. And he’s not bullshiting when he says he’s gonna fuck you stupid. The guy digs you out like he’s trying to ruin you for anybody else. But it’s not entirely his fault! He gets sick of carrying that meat missle around too 😔

Hanamaki |Run Time: Straight up just asked if you’d let him| Hedonist to the max. And no shame either. The moment he gets the feeling that you might be sexually interested in him, he’s diving in with no goggles. I mean, obviously he cares about your interests and your pursuits in life; might even think you’re nice enough to take home to mom’s one day. But that’s not what his mind’s set on right now. Only thing in his head is if he should start with collapsed doggy or drill you in from the side just to get you drooling for him that much quicker. But hey, dick was so good you forgot he don’t got a job!

Honorable Mentions!

Sakusa (Surprisingly)| Comes off as a prude because he apparently has “High standards.” Can’t admit that if he finds you attractive enough, he’ll just straight up fuck you. |

Terushima |Likes to “Do you like my tongue ring?” Himself into some pussy.|

Sugawara | Plays the part of a good loving school teacher just looking for a companionship. Gives it up as soon as he sees you’re into him.|

Osamu | “m’not a scrub like my brother.” No, baby, you’re a whore.|

And finally number one…

Suna! |Run Time: Text him at 3:00am and he’ll be there by 3:05am| Standing at 6’3.2 and 176lbs, you have caught the affection of a man who truly believes that “a hole is a hole” once he’s found himself physically attracted to someone. That’s not to say that he’s particularly loose with what he’s got but if you’ll take it? Once hiked to your place in the middle of January with basketball shorts on ‘cause you sent him a “U up?” Text in the middle of the night. Woke up the next morning with a fever but god was that pussy worth it. Fucks like he’s trying to prove something so you’re in remission for the next couple of days afterwards. And then will have the nerve to wanna be the little spoon after the fact. - Tries not to look as elated as he is when you finally tie him down but with the way he turns your insides into mush the night following, you can tell he’s pretty excited to finally call himself your boyfriend.

reblogs are appreciated 💕 ps, tumblr pls suck my balls? 🥺

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splitontendo · 1 year

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HAIKYUU CHARACTER ON TWT!!

(tw) ft: yachi, yamaguchi, miya a, hanamaki, lev, semi, bokuto, kuroo, suna & kita.

#haikyuu #haikyuu crack #hq smau #haikyuu texts #haikyuu smau #hq #hq texts #haikyuu social media au #yachi hitoka #yamaguchi tadashi #atsumu miya #hanamaki takahiro #lev haiba #semi eita #bokuto kotaro #kuroo testuro #suna rintaro #kita shinsuke

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fornshinoyaz · 9 months

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how to: lose feelings for an idiot

kei tsukishima x fem!reader

how to lose feelings for a CERTIFIED, government approved idiot. it should be easy right? wrong. you are absolutely, positively, done for. you have no idea why you’re writing the guide book when you can’t even get past the first step! first step, the only important step really: don’t have your best friend be kei tsukishima. then maybe, just maybe, you’d have a chance.

where tsukishima is horribly oblivious to his best friend’s very obvious crush on him.

status - ongoing :) !!

tags - best friends to lovers, college au, tsukishima lacks awareness, volleyball player tsukki, fluff at times, it’s very silly, takes no bullshit!reader, but also emotionally supportive!reader, pining, slice of life, slow-ish burn ? maybe ? i think it would be

tags (pt.2) - best friend!kageyama, childhood friend!yamaguchi, for the sake of au you all go to karasuno university (lmao) & the lineup is the exact same as in the series, the volleyball aspect doesn’t rlly matter much here

content warning - swearing, suggestive jokes, all in good fun

CHAPTERS !!

01. how to: forget about a witch

02. how to: not get hit by a volleyball

03. how-to: breathe when’s he’s around

04. how-to: overthrow the government

05. maybe guides are overrated

taglist - open, send an ask to be placed on it :)

#haikyuu #haikyuu fics #tsukishima x reader #kei tsukishima #tsukki #tsukishima x you #hq headcanons #hq imagines #haikyuu x reader #yamaguchi tadashi #hq #hq fluff #tsukki x reader #tsukki x you #haikyuu series #haikyuu crack #tobio kageyama #kuroo tetsuro #kozume kenma

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sucka4pain · 1 year

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𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐬! (Ft. Black fem & male y/n)

Disclaimer: these tweets are from real accounts and I just put haikyuu characters and what user they would have so the original tweets are not mine!!

A/n: lowkey might make a part two who knows🏃🏻‍♀️

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uzuikyo · 11 months

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random texts/posts with boyfriend!kuroo & his teammates

kuroo tetsuro x f!reader

established relationship, profanities

👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾👾

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro #smau #haikyuu smau #anime #hq #haikyuu au #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu crack #kuroo fluff #kuroo fic

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wonderoustime · 8 months

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him: two bros

you: chilling in a hot tub

him and you, in unison: zero feet apart 'cause we're GAY AS FUCK!

oikawa, bokuto, matsukawa, kuroo, tendo, suga

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tetsuissohot · 2 months

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I miss these guys so so so much <3

#haikyuu kuroo #haikyū!!#haikyuu bokuto #haikyuu captains #bokuto koutarou #kuroo testuro #anime #volleyball #haikyuu funny #haikyuu crack #haikyuu comfort

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xenclev · 2 years

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"Damn, bitch. Your pussy open like a cathedral door."

⤷ SUNA, matsukawa, ATSUMU, KUROO, TERUSHIMA, semi, tsukishima, SAKUSA, oikawa

#don't ask me #this was just in the drafts #haikyuu!!#haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu crack #hq hcs #suna smut #iwaizumi smut #oikawa smut #kuroo smut #sakusa smut #sakusa x reader #suna x you #kuroo x you #haikyuu smut #minors do not interact #q 🦎#leaux needs help

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dalandanii-danayaaa · 9 months

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i realized doing the art dump thing was a lot harder for me lmao

#kenma is my spirit animal #kozume kenma #hq kenma #kenma kuzome #kuroo x kenma #hq fanart #haikyuu art #haikyuu fanart #haikyuu kenma #kenma fanart #kuroo tetsurou #digital drawing #fanart #fanart illustration #digital illustration #digital art #artists on tumblr #haikyuu crack

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sugawara--san · 1 year

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i love this scene because the implication that kuroo somehow has his own way of getting into kenma's house is too perf

#like it's the ass crack of dawn it's still dark out does he have a KEY #haikyuu!!#kuroo tetsurou #kozume kenma #kuroken

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baewriites · 7 months

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Chemistry [ Kuroo x fem!reader ]

"WHAT?!" you exclaimed in disbelief when you heard that your school, Nekoma lost against Fukurodani in the prelims, more specifically about your crush, Kuroo Tetsuro losing. Okay they still had a chance of making it to the nationals and...... They did it.

Rainy day, noise of chatter surrounding you and your best friend, Yuki who was mindlessly rambling. Your eyes were searching for a specific person, Kuroo and that's when he entered with his classic smug smile.

He was pretty popular in your school, owing to his somewhat good looks, good grades and since he was the captain of the volleyball team. There was a common perception that he was a fuckboy but in reality he was pretty much a dork who liked to play with balls.

In your peripheral vision, You watched him walk towards you and occupy the seat in front of yours. Did you two know each other? Yes. Did you two talk? No, not really. But there was this slight tension whenever you two made eye contact. Not to mention, both of you made a lot of eye contact.

It's not like you were afraid of talking to him or anything, it's just that...... you don't want to. Who likes socializing anyways? But your polar opposite bestie, Yuki was bent upon on making you two talk and she did succeed at times, but only small talks. But this time, this time she bribed with the latest Jujutsu Kaisen Manga. There was no way in hell you could refuse that offer.

Okay as per the plan you two whispered which probably half of the class heard was that you would go up to him during recess and ask him to teach you chemistry, conveniently ignoring that you were a bigger nerd than him in chem. Anyways simple right? You took a breath and saw Kuroo talking to Kenma, giggling like a teenage girl. Which idiot did you even choose to have a crush on? You sigh and walk towards him and as you were about to ask him for the favour,he interrupted you and said, "Can we study chem together? I have missed out on the new lessons due to the volleyball matches."

"S-sure" the way you mentally cringed and wished to turn into a ball of nothingness and cease to exist when you stuttered in front of him. He said again, "It's okay if you are busy" "No it's fine, what about Friday? After school?" "Sure, I am free"

It was finally D-day, Friday (as per how Yuki worded it). Him and you were sitting poles apart, sparing no glances. Everyone's energy was pretty much non existent as it was the last period. But Yuki? She was rambling and rambling about the delusional things she think would happen today. Although you secretly liked her rambling and delusionships, you still felt shy to admit that but finally you got a little annoyed when she started to give you sex education. Which motherfucker thinks you two will fuck at the first meet already?

The never ending class finally ended. Yuki cheered and left and you were walking alone to the stairs. Suddenly you feel a towering presence and see him. "Could we study at my place? " "Sure", you replied, a little startled. Surprisingly the session went well. Both decided to meet for more lessons.

And a few lessons afterwards, you two had gotten closer. It was pretty interesting to study with him. He is genuinely good at chemistry and is really smart in academics. Plus point that he is helpful smart instead of mean smart. But his humour....... no way it was that bad. He says the most randomest stuff.

Like one time, you two were solving past test papers, pretty quiet, just the shuffling of the pages. His pen stops and he looks at you and with a quiet voice he says, " Y/N.... you know why do I only say bad chemistry jokes?" "Why?" "What do I do? All the good ones ARGON" he said and proceeded to laugh as if it was the funniest thing.

One thing you always wondered about him was his hair, his rooster hair. You always had the urge to pet it. And one time your impulsive thoughts won and you just out of nowhere pet it, not noticing the way his entire face went red.

As for Kuroo, he was a total fool in matters of girl which led to him consulting another genius, Yaku. Kuroo whined, "YAKUNN WHAT DO I DO?" and Yaku replied, almost unbothered, "Confess to her. What else should you do?" Kuroo got a little pissed and yelled, "IS IT THAT EASY? YOU SURELY LACK DOCOSAHEXAENOIC ACID" Yaku yelled back and said, "HUH! SHUT UP YOU ASTAXANTHIN" Both of them kept on screaming until Fukunaga spilled water on them. Then Kuroo decided to ask Nobuyuki instead, who was actually mature. He pretty much praised you saying, "You should confess to her before it's too late. She is a good girl and anyone may take her before you do. Don't delay. And you can play the guitar so just sing her a love song" And our captain, Kuroo chose the most generic song, Perfect by Ed Sheeran but it was his feelings that mattered and his feelings were genuine and strong. And the plan was that he would confess to you at the end of your study session this weekend.

The day came and everything went normally, as it goes everytime. To be honest, you were content with the bond you two have now and didn't want more than that. You were focused when you noticed your phone vibrating from a phone call, It was Yuki and she seemed in an emergency, You quickly arrange your belongings and was about to go, when you heard Kuroo call you from behind. You turn around to see visible panic and hesitation on his face, probably from his plans being ruined and he just blurted out, "You- You know one thing, after studying chemistry with you, I realized that we have a lot of chemistry." And in a hurry you gave him a slight bow with a soft smile, your brain registering it as one of his stupid jokes. And after you left, he was pretty much rethinking his life choices.

What happened was that Yuki had found a stray injured cat and she took it to the vet but she had no money so she sent you to her house to collect money. After the vet you two went to her house and were chilling. Suddenly you remembered what Kuroo told you and you told her.

"YOU IDIOT!" Yuki yelled. "what?" "HE PROPOSED TO YOU!" "When?" "HE LITERALLY TOLD YOU THAT YOU GUYS HAD CHEMISTRY. ARE YOU DUMB OR WHAT? OH GOD" To sum it up, he indirectly asked you out and you just did... nothing. Which idiot did Kuroo even choose to have a crush on?

The following day, you two didn't even look at each other. And Yuki being Yuki was being all menacing. She had to be so much involved and unable to take the obvious awkwardness between you two and the taunts of Yuki, you just decide to ask Kuroo out. What could possibly go wrong?

It was departure time. Everyone was talking on the school ground. He was a little far away from you, walking with his teammates. It's now or never. You approached him and tapped on his shoulder. Then you said, "Kuroo wanna go on a date with me?" You said it really fast, not taking a breath. And the gasp you heard from him was a harm to not only yours but everyone near's eardrums. Everyone was staring at you two . Finally words come out of his mouth,"S-sure" the way he mentally cringed and wished to turn into a ball of nothingness and cease to exist when he stuttered in front of you. Yousaid again, "It's okay if you are busy" "No it's fine, what about Friday? After school?" "Sure, I am free"

A happy ending hehe :)

#kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou #haikyu x reader #haikyuu crack #haikyuu fluff

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