#kurapikakurta | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ihatealimore · 1 year

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I Hope I Can Keep You Warm

(tw: Kurapika's trauma, nudity, angst)

(no this is not smut. For now at least. there is some nice wholesome fluff to make up for the angst. word count- 2,982)

Panting breaths, echoing footsteps, and the sound of snow underneath your boots crunching underneath you reverberate through the crisp night air uninterrupted. Your mind is racing with panic while your body is filled with adrenaline. One thing you know for certain is- you were beginning to regret your decision to help Kurapika with this dangerous mission.

"I'm surprised you even asked me to meet you here," You sit across from Kurapika in a small, dimly lit cafe, "When's the last time we've seen each other in person."

Kurapika pushes aside the tinge of guilt he feels from your words and responds emotionlessly, "I do suppose it's been quite a while. My apologies," He does feel genuinely sorry for not reaching out to you, but he has been very careful as to not drag his friends down with him.

"I know you're busy, but it's nearly impossible to get ahold of you," You take a sip from your warm drink, glancing down at the table sitting between you and him, your eyes suddenly drawn to the intricate details of the wood, "Everyone is worried about you, you know? Including me."

He feels taken back by your sincerity, "I know. I wish I didn't have to burden their minds as I have been."

A lingering sigh passes through your lips, "But there's nothing you can do about it?"

"Indeed."

"Yeah, I thought you might say that," You set your drink back down on the table and cross your arms, still finding it difficult to meet his gaze as you're pouring out your thoughts to him, "I understand your way of thinking, Kurapika. I really do. I used to think the same way, but this is just too destructive for you."

"I understa-"

"You don't," You sigh again and sit up straight, making direct eye contact with him, "Not really anyway."

Kurapika wasn't used to someone conversing with him so bluntly and intelligently. Leorio told him off all of the time but it was hard to make sense of his words as he shouts out his thoughts incoherently. Maybe (Y/N) actually did understand him. You would be the first person to have a firm grasp of his point of view.

"I can lecture you as much as I want but it's not really gonna change anything, is it? I'm not going to deter you from being stubborn and always working alone," You uncross your arms and set your elbow on the table, resting your chin in the palm of your hand, "Just answer a call from them once in a while. It's the least you can do to repay them."

His eyes widen in surprise for a brief second before he nods, letting out a sigh, "Very well. You're right."

"I know."

A quiet chuckle escapes his lips as he rolls his eyes. It's the first time in a long time that he's laughed, or smiled for that matter.

"So, why did you ask me to meet you here?" You ask him with furrowed brows.

He bites his lip nervously, realizing the only reason he asked you to spend time with him for the first time in a long time was only for a dangerous favor he needed to ask of you. The blonde-haired man can feel your eyes boring holes into the back of his head and speaks up, "I need your help with something."

"Go figure," You already had deduced that he must need your help with something before you even accepted his invitation, "Care to elaborate?"

"It's a dangerous task and you are more than welcome to decline," He lets out a deep breath, "I have a lead on the location of a couple of pairs of scarlet eyes but the environment is less than ideal."

"Are they in a volcano or something?"

He shakes his head, "Mountains. The terrain and weather are dangerous and I'm quite unfamiliar with them. I'm unsure if I could survive by myself."

It's your turn to be surprised. It's very unlike Kurapika to admit something like that. He's a logical man, for the most part, but when it comes to the scarlet eyes- all that logic flies out the window.

"I'll go with you," Comes your quick response.

"I have yet to explain the rest of the details-"

You cut him off, "No need. If you're actually asking for help, I know you're desperate. I know I've been really tough on you today but that's because I want you to seek out help. I want you to seek out MY help. I want to help you, Kurapika. In any way, I can. I care about you."

The kurta suddenly feels flustered, looking away from you with a hint of a blush encasing his face, "Thank you, (Y/N). That truly means a lot to me," He hesitates for a moment, before turning back to look at you, "I care about you too. I won't allow you to get injured during this mission."

"I'll have to hold you to that!"

The atmosphere between the two of you becomes less heavy as you flash him a bright smile. You spend the rest of the day with him, just chatting and catching up.

Oh, if only you could turn back time.

"(Y/N)! Take my hand! Quickly!" Kurapika holds his hand out for you, the sense of urgency and fear very real in his voice.

You take his hand and he pulls you up out of the deep snow. You and him take off running again, the sound of multiple footsteps catching up to you. This effectively makes both you and Kurapika worry about whether you will both escape this lethal situation with your lives.

"Kurapika! This way!" You branch off to the right, taking a small path that eventually leads to a small cliff.

The blonde man freezes just before the cliff edge, while you dive headfirst in, leaping off the cliff without hesitation.

"(Y/N)!!" He reaches out for you, however, he's far too late to stop you.

You've never heard him shout so intensely, although you set this thought aside as you prepare for your landing. You tuck and roll as you meet the ground, your clothes disheveled and soaked. The jump wasn't all-too-far and the heavy layers of snow helped to shelter your fall a little.

"Jump!" You shout up to him, "It's not that far!"

He turns back for a moment, seeing a flashlight beam in the near distance through the trees. The kurta takes a deep breath before backing away from the cliff to run and leap off of it. He tucks and rolls as you did, and lands unharmed. He immediately grabs your hand and drags you along with him as he breaks out into a run again.

"We can lose them," He looks straight ahead of him, "However, that was incredibly stupid and dangerous!"

"Sorry. I thought it was the best option," You reply to him with a small shrug.

"And your judgement was correct," He notes the lack of footsteps in the distance, "Let's run a little bit further. We should be able to rest shortly."

You nod in agreement. After about 15 more minutes of running through snow-covered trees, you and Kurapika finally agree that you've lost them. At least for now.

"Let's take cover in there," He points out a small cave in the near distance, "It's probably our safest option."

"Yeah, that's a good idea."

With that being said, you and Kurapika enter the cave. It's a team effort to make a cozy campfire for you both to warm up next to. You take your backpack off and offer Kurapika some rations and water from your canteen.

He takes a sip of water, wiping the excess water from his mouth afterward, "I am still in disbelief that we did it."

"It was hard. Grueling even, but we did it," You let out a sigh of relief, "All we have to do now is get home."

Kurapika nods, although he feels complicated about hearing the word 'home'. What home? The kurta had nowhere and nobody to return to. He would just go on another mission to retrieve another pair of his brethren's eyes. He sighs, knowing damn well he doesn't deserve a home to return to in the first place. He should be dead like his brethren. In fact, there were many times a day when he questioned why he was the one that was allowed to live, although he would only allow these thoughts to fuel his hatred and thirst for vengeance.

He jumps at the warm touch of your hand on his thigh, "Kurapika? Are you okay?"

The way the campfire reflects in your eyes and plays against the delicate details of your face is not lost on him. His feelings of hopelessness are now replaced with something else. Something unwanted. Something he isn't sure how to react to.

He coughs into his hand in a pathetic display as a way to distract himself, "Y-yes, I'm fine."

Fortunately for him, the sound of the wind and snow picking up outside catches your attention. You stand up from where you were sitting and walk towards the entrance of the cave, "It looks like a snowstorm is blowing in."

"Is that so?" He's still trying to collect himself.

You nod, "Yeah, I think we're going to be stuck here for the night."

"We have plenty of rations if that is the case," He does his best to ease your concerns.

"Yeah, you're right," You sit back down beside him, pulling your knees up to your chest and leaning your head against them, "So, tell me what you're thinking. Looks like we have plenty of time to talk."

The blonde-haired man folds his arms across his chest, looking straight ahead at the crackling fire in front of him, "Or we could sit in silence."

"Suit yourself," You continue to watch him intently, "I have a feeling you'll give in eventually."

He turns to look at you, "And why is that?"

You shrug casually, "Just a feeling. Besides, it's not like we have much else to do."

His eyes fall on the fire again as he grows quiet for several moments, "You don't have family left either, (Y/N)?"

You raise an eyebrow at his sudden question, "No. Not any I know of anyway. Why do you ask?"

He shakes his head, "I was merely curious."

"Elaborate."

"Who do you go home to?" He refuses to make eye contact with you, the campfire flames reflecting in his grey eyes.

You cock your head slightly in confusion, "Nobody, I guess."

"Then why go home?"

You open your mouth to respond, but you come up empty. You cross your arms as you try to think of a good response to his strange question, "Where else would I go?" You end up countering him with another question.

"That's not really an answer," He points out to you.

"I know but it's the only logical response I can come up with," You feel stumped as you try to think up another response, "Are you meaning to say there's no point in going home if you don't really consider it a home?"

He feels a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. For some reason, he can't help but feel glad that you were able to read him so easily with such vague questions, "Yes, that is exactly what I was thinking."

"I guess in that case, I don't have a home?" You explain to him, lost in thought, "I've traveled a lot and stayed in a lot of shady areas. No place I've ever lived in has felt like home to me. They're just places to return to until I find that home."

"That's an interesting answer," He takes in your words, wondering if he could think the same way that you do.

You and him continue to talk throughout the night, the wind and snow swirling around dangerously outside. Thankfully, the cave provides reliable shelter so you don't feel the chill of the wind as badly as you should. You still find yourself shivering, holding your hands out in front of the fire in a futile effort to warm yourself.

It's late into the night now. Kurapika has been talking with you on and off, although he's been acting pretty vague. Your shivering hasn't ceased and you can feel yourself growing more and more exhausted.

"(Y/N)," Kurapika calls out to you but doesn't receive a response as you're beginning to nod off, "(Y/N)!"

Your eyes shoot back open, "W-what is it?" Your teeth are chattering from the cold.

"Have you not been able to get warm?" He's regarding you with an intense gaze now, "You've been shivering this whole time."

You shake your head in response, "My clothes are still really wet and cold."

"(Y/N)!' He shoots up from his spot and races up to you, "You're probably suffering from hypothermia! Why didn't you say something sooner??"

"I thought the fire would dry my clothes enough," You're considerably drowsy, slurring your words as you do your best to focus and keep your eyes open and alert.

He presses the back of his hand against your forehead, "You're freezing. We need to get you out of those wet clothes. Now."

"W-wait! I don't want to strip naked!" You make a lax effort to cover yourself with your arms, "I would get embarrassed."

"We are far beyond that being our biggest concern," He can't ignore your worries and grabs both of the blankets out of your backpack, "You can cover yourself with these while you change."

You nod as you cover yourself with them. Kurapika turns around to give you some privacy as you strip yourself down and wrap both blankets around yourself, "You can turn back around, Kurapika."

He lets out a relieved sigh when he turns around and sees you sitting upright, wrapped in warm blankets, "Good. We still need to warm you up as quickly as possible."

He adds a few more sticks of wood to the fire, adding to its intensity. Next, he goes through both of your backpacks in search of something that can be heated up over the fire. He decides to heat up a small can of beans and gives it to you.

You eat it quickly and you can feel yourself warming up a little bit, however, the wind from the snowstorm certainly isn't helping. You're still shivering.

Kurapika racks his brain for ways to keep your body temperature high enough to avoid hypothermia. Even if he raises it a tiny bit, the wind chill from outside still reaches the cave. It still reaches you. The person Kurapika cares most about. The person who is trying her hardest to hold her eyes open and stay conscious.

He comes to a realization.

I can't lose you.

Wordlessly, he begins stripping himself down. You watch him curiously, trying to figure out just what he's doing. You're having a harder time coming to logical thoughts than normal. You can feel your cheeks heating up as you finally decide to look away from him.

"(Y/N)."

"Yes?" You still refuse to look directly at him.

"I'm coming under the blankets with you," He says bluntly.

Your jaw almost drops in shock, "W-what do you mean?? You're completely naked!"

"Exactly," He starts, jumping into his explanation, "Skin-to-skin contact is going to be the best way to keep each other warm throughout the night. It's embarrassing, however, I refuse to let anything happen to you."

"Right, I forgot about that," A sigh escapes your lips, "Sorry, I can't think straight."

"It's not your fault," He takes a few steps closer to you, "Besides that-" He freezes, adamant to let the next string of words fall from his mouth, "I want to be vulnerable with you. You understand me. And I want to understand you too. Please allow me this."

You can't stop yourself from turning to face him with a surprised expression, "You mean that?" You feel your cheeks flush even more than they already have and you look away again.

"It's okay. You can look," He's unsure where this sudden burst of confidence came from, "If possible, I would like to give my whole self over to you," His full face is definitely flushed red but he ignores this feeling of butterflies in his gut.

You slowly turn to face him again, "The feeling is mutual," You hold the blanket open for him to join you.

He feels even more flustered, inwardly gushing at your beauty momentarily before sitting impossibly close to you. He lets out a deep breath as he lifts you up to straddle his lap while facing him. You let out a surprised squeak as he does so, feeling somehow overjoyed and bittersweet at the situation that has brought you closer to this stubborn man.

He wraps his arms around your back tightly as your thighs cling to his back. The kurta pulls your head flush against his chest, moving one of his hands to the back of your head, petting you ever-so-delicately.

"I hope I can keep you warm throughout the night."

"I don't think you'll have a problem with that," You can't help but wonder if your blonde-haired friend is having the same impure thoughts as you are. And if he is, you're wondering how you can get him to initiate these thoughts.

However, for now, you decide you'll just enjoy his warmth, erratic heartbeat, and candid vulnerability.

He speaks up suddenly, "This is the closest thing to a home I have ever felt."

His words come as a shock to you, although, you can't disagree with him. You understand him better than anyone. Because in the end, you two are the same.

Maybe you won't regret coming with him after all.