#kim's new video drops tomorrow and where i've never cared what other people think of their content before as of late im like OH GOD. OH FUCK
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becoming a fan of something or someone means getting weird secondhand embarrassment that didn't occur before. and anxiety! !SO MUCH!! both SO EASILY. just because i... now care about the thing or the people involved?? really??
because i really love a thing i can't freely enjoy it without some weird vague negativity related to some unknown vague people?? sure. okay. checks out.
#i know i cant handle criticism.. and people hating things i like is a personal and miserable experience#but come o n#this has happened since forever and i hate it#kim's new video drops tomorrow and where i've never cared what other people think of their content before as of late im like OH GOD. OH FUCK#maybe its because i saw so many shit fucking takes about their album?? maybe its just that i love them and i feel ready to#physically fight anyone with a bad thing to say??#plus idk how this is gonna go. they have Messages and don't give a Fuck and thats beautiful but i have anxiety and the general public does#not seem to understand them#again: i didnt care!!! there was no shred of secondhand embarrassment or anxiety or anything when i first started listening to them!!!#but now when new content comes out??? fml i guess!!!#this absolutely did happen with the shadow and bones#as with all things before it#i cant watch most interviews and stuff#trying makes me wanna scream and kick my feet but in a nearly painful way?? like its an aggressive feeling. not the fun kind most fans get#i can sometimes watch them with no sound + subtitles#not sure why the fuck that is#anyway#im positive i didnt explain ANYTHING about ANY of this well but i have literally never tried to put it into words before and i am. so tired#maison speaks
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