Bridgerton AU 02x08 onwards: Part 4
~Anthony~
It was torture.
Waiting in the drawing room for the Doctor to finish and declare his fate was slowly shaping into the longest, most torturous hour of his life. He wasn’t sure why it was his fate that hung in the balance, but he was just as inconceivably sure of the fact that his life would be forfeit if she did not –
He could not go on without her in any capacity.
His body would not physically cooperate with him without her touch, now that he had known it. His lungs could not possibly draw breath now that he knew how it felt to breathe her in –
No.
He could not succumb to those thoughts. He had to stay in the present. And as it was hitting the hour mark and he had vaguely acknowledged some latent relief at everyone’s disinterest towards questioning the original reason for his surely earlier than normal call at Danbury House, he heard the sound he had been dreading all this time and realized that he had not dodged the issue that easily as of yet.
The light thump of her cane on the carpet might as well have been a booming canon for how his heart reacted, as she once again walked towards him and stopped a way off, in the middle of the room, waiting. Like his premature thoughts of relief had summoned her like a ruthless creature that smelled fear and deception in her prey and immediately acted on it. He refused to look in her direction on principle.
He desperately wished for the Doctor to finish and announce if she was out of danger, simply so that he could leave and avoid this conversation. He knew he did not have it in himself to tempt fate by saying anything but the bare truth if anyone asked him the question right now, not with her lying there –
“Lord Bridgerton, I was informed by the footman that you called at the house superbly early in the morning today, only missing Miss Sharma by a few minutes. Might I inquire as to the nature of your ill-timed visit?”
Well, then.
Of course she had to bloody ask the exact question at the exact bloody time he could not dare to desist, with something so precious in the balance that he could not risk the wrath of any loosely interested God with a lie. Not now.
He steeled himself and turned to look at Benedict, warning him with a look to not repeat what he was about to do to anyone, especially their mother, and to keep his opinions to himself, at least until they were alone. He could only hope his brother understood, as he nodded once all the same.
He calmly walked to where Miss Edwina and Lady Mary were sitting, faces drawn and rather ill looking, or perhaps it was his imagination embellishing their reactions to the unsaid revelation. He took a seat at a lone armchair, resolutely avoiding the ladies’ eyes, and shakily pulled out the small box.
He grimaced at the consequences of what he was about to do, fiddling with it for a few seconds, before he placed it squarely on the table in front of everyone. His deepest desire, his hastily fulfilled wish, bare for all to witness and question and judge and condemn as they saw fit.
There was an upsetting harrumph from the Lady of the House and she pursed her lips in a slightly displeased but altogether unsurprised manner. Lady Mary fisted her dress tighter and gasped very softly, slowly realizing his meaning. Miss Edwina said nothing and he tried hard to resist the temptation to look at her face. He wasn’t sure he could handle whatever he saw there.
“Oh.” Benedict breathed and he hoped his brother would perhaps now, of all times, realize how much him and his insights had kept him afloat in times of drowning darkness along with the daily forms of unexceptional stresses.
"Why?” Lady Danbury broke the thick tension in her cutting manner, continuing rather pointedly, and haughtily, in his opinion, “Why now, I mean? I have watched you both refuse and deny your feelings and run from them as far as you could manage since the night of my soiree, when Miss Edwina chose to bestow her ill-advised favor upon you. After all this time, after everything that both your families have gone through since then, what has finally changed now to bring this on, my Lord Bridgerton?”
He was at a loss. How could he even begin to answer that without giving them both away – without besmirching her forever in the eyes of her own family and without admitting to the fact that he was so helpless in the face of her mere existence that once coveted things like honor and duty meant nothing to him anymore?
He was saved from answering almost immediately, however, by Benedict. His brother must have seen something of his thoughts in his face – or perhaps he simply knew him too well by now to suspect at the truth – but whatever the case, Benedict replied after only a few seconds of silence.
“I think that would be my fault. I believe that when my brother sought me out to remind me of my –” He grimaced slightly, “– responsibility, as the second born son, I was rather deep in my cups and suggested to Anthony that he need not abandon his whole plan of finding a bride this season and that perhaps, he could simply – switch it up a little from the original.”
It was a valiant effort. And nobody bought it. It was plain upon their faces, but Benedict soldiered on faithfully, “That was, of course, done to escape my own duties in the horrifying circumstances of Anthony not being wed. I feared Mother would set her sights upon me then, heavens forbid.”
Lady Danbury’s face twitched at the loose attempt at humor but she did not seem to really buy it. And well, who were they even trying to fool anymore? All of them had witnessed him –
“Even so. Let us say we believe that pitiful excuse for your actions, you do realize that going forward with this frankly, rather – scandalous – plan of yours could be the ruin of all of your families. It is the single most foolhardy action to take in these circumstances and you are both bright young men, surely you must realize that –”
“The ring –” He began testily, and then forced himself to calm as Benedict stood up with him, hand on his arm, steadying him as always – he hadn’t even realized he had stood up - he was damn tired of the sham the pretentious farce they had to put in place for the bloody ton, “– my parents’ betrothal ring, a symbol of their love, belongs to Kathani Sharma to do with as she pleases, when she pleases. It has always been hers, since I first laid my eyes on her. My whole being has known it and my mind has simply caught up to the harsh truth of this reality rather late. That is final and I shall not hear anything more about it.”
To Suspend Time - Find full version on AO3 here. Thank you for reading!💝✨
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Best Laid Plans Ch. 30 Sneak Peek
Here, have a sneak peek!
Edwina couldn’t think. She couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t she breathe? She didn’t even know where she was going until she found herself back in the rooms she had been given to prepare in.
Lord Anthony Bridgerton loved Kate.
He loved her and he was going to marry her, and they would live a happy life in Kent, surrounded by a large happy family, and she would be in Leicester…
With a husband who didn’t love her.
Edwina collapsed to the floor, ripping the coronet and veil from her hair and throwing it across the room.
Lord Morrison did not love her. It was so clear now and she longed to rip that knowledge from her mind, to go back to an hour ago when she had been so sure in her choices. Back to when she had never noticed that he had never looked at her with even a fraction of the love and fondness Lord Bridgerton freely showed on his face when he picked up that blasted bangle. He had never once told her he loved her; she could not even imagine him declaring it as blatantly as Anthony Bridgerton had told Kate Sharma he loved her in front of the entire ton.
Why? That was the only question her mind could ask. Why do all this, agree to this farce of a wedding, if he did not love her? Why –
“Bon!” Kate quickly shut the door before kneeling next to Edwina, worry etched on her face. “Are you alright? Are you ill? Hurt? What can I do?”
Edwina stared at her, uncomprehending for a moment, before forcefully shoving her sister away from her.
“Edwina!”
Mary stared at her daughter in shock from the doorway for a moment before quickly shutting the door and moving to help her eldest to her feet.
“Are you alright?” she asked, helping to Kate to her feet as Edwina surged up and began pacing. “What has gotten into you, Edwina? Are you alright? What is going on?”
Edwina ignored her mother, her pacing growing more frantic as the other two women exchanged worried looks.
“Just breathe, Edwina.” Mary told her soothingly. “It’s probably just nerves. We will call for tea and, once you have something in your stomach, you will be strong enough to go back out there. The Earl…the Earl will understand, yes, Kate? Kate perhaps you might find that tea – “
“It is not tea that I want!” Edwina shouted, making the other two women jump. “This is all your fault! You stole him, stole my chance!”
Her words were directed at Kate, who stared at her, stunned.
“What are you talking about?” she demanded once she found her voice again. “I didn’t steal the Earl! I can barely stand the Earl!”
“Not the Earl! The Viscount!”
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Random thoughts 🐝💭
Bring on Kathelope!💕
I feel like in the coming season(s) I need to see Penelope & Kate bond over how awful it is to watch the man you love declare himself for a woman, and not just any other woman, but a relative.
Pen tried to prevent Colin from pursuing Marina & Kate did the same with Anthony & Edwina but both Penelope & Kate failed and were forced to suffer in silence.
Both were dreading what it would be to watch the one person who they loved more than anyone else, not want them in return.
Kate had the added torment of there being obvious mutual attraction between her and Anthony.
While Penelope was friend-zoned by Colin & Marina was brutal basically telling Pen she’d never have a chance with Colin even if he hadn’t chosen her.
I want to see our beloved overripe citrus fruit & singed dandelion get along famously and I hope they never let their idiot men forget.
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