#juyeon angst
Text
TRY HARD
SUMMARY: Need to get rid of some junk? Well these college hunks will haul YOUR junk! Give us a call at xxx-xxx-JUNK and we’ll haul YOUR junk for FREE! (limited time offer)
GENRE: smut, crack, fluff, minimal angst
PAIRING: Lee Juyeon x afab!reader (ft. sangyeon, sunwoo, and chanhee)
WC: 8.7k (oops)
SERIES MASTERLIST
PERM TAGLIST: @winterchimez @juyeonszn
18+ MDNI AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED
WARNINGS: name calling (reader calls Juyeon stripper boy, baby, and pretty boy. Juyeon calls reader pretty girl), swearing, mentions of college parties, Y/N roasts Juyeon like a lot, Juyeon stops a door with his foot, one bed trope (for like two seconds), sunwoo slander (learning from Fawn <3) Juyeon is not god's strongest soldier, masturbation (m and kinda f), p in v sex, implied unprotected sex, restraints are used, dom!reader kinda, bratty!Juyo kinda, really poor attempts at humor, i think there's more but that covers the big stuff
A/N: This was NOT supposed to be almost 9k. It was supposed to be 3k at MOST but i will not lie i will prolly end up doing this again for most of the fics I'm putting out for this collab oops. Anywayyyyy let's kick off the collab with arguably my funniest fic.
The first time you meet Lee Juyeon, you’re dressed in sleep shorts and the biggest sweatshirt in your closet. He’s standing at your door, and for a moment you can’t help but be confused by the fact that yes, there is a hot man in a white tank top and cargo pants leaning against your doorframe. And yes, he is, in fact, there for you and not the girls living down the hall from you.
And, to be fair, it wasn’t your fault that you thought he was a stripper. Really, it wasn’t. It’s not every day that you see a guy with a body to die for and the face of an angel.
“Are you some sort of stripper?” For a moment, the two of you are quiet. There’s a look of pure astonishment on his face that eventually turns into him fighting back a grin.
“Do you want me to be?” His tongue brushes over his lower lip while he scans you up and down and you scoff.
“No. The girls you’re probably looking for are down the hall, the last door on the right.” You begin to shut the door. “Have fun.”
“Wait!” His foot catches in the door before you can slam it shut and you hear him swear loudly. “Shit, that did not feel good.”
“Are you fucking stupid?” You swing the door open again, scowling at him. “Why would you try to catch this heavy ass door with your foot?”
“I thought it would look cool!” He winces, one hand gripping your door frame and the other cradling his aching foot. “Like in the movies!”
“I don’t know if you know this…” you trail off, squinting at him and realizing you have no idea who this man is. “Stripper boy,—”
“Juyeon,” you can practically hear his teeth grinding as he speaks. You hum.
“Stripper boy,” you bob your head. “That’s what I’m gonna call you.”
“Please don’t—”
“Anyway,” you interrupt again. “I don’t know if you know this, but romance movies are fictional. Of course, it’s not gonna look like the prop door and they’re gonna catch it like it’s nothing. This, however,” you hit your fist against your door, “is solid metal. Not gonna feel good when you catch this shit, dumbass.”
“Whatever,” Juyeon rolls his eyes and straightens his body out. “I was just making my rounds across campus, wanted to see if you’d be interested in supporting your local fraternity.”
You raise an eyebrow, reaching your hand out to take the flier from his hand.
College Hunks Hauling Junk!
Need to get rid of some junk? Well, these college hunks will haul YOUR junk! Give us a call at xxx-xxx-JUNK and we’ll haul YOUR junk for FREE! (limited-time offer)
Scan HERE to book your appointment!
“College hunks hauling junk,” you can’t help but laugh at the name and take the flier from Juyeon’s hands. He grins at you. “People are actually paying you guys to haul their shit away?”
He shrugs. “It’s free, technically. You’re allowed to donate, but we’re really just doing it for free. You know, help out fellow students and spread the word.”
“You sure it wouldn’t be easier to just do some stripping if you can’t pay the rent?” You ask. “Also, what do you mean spread the word?”
“I’m glad you asked.” Juyeon points a finger at the bottom of the flier, completely disregarding the first part of your sentence. Fuck, his hands are big.
This ad also doubles as your invitation to Tau Beta Zeta’s parties for the rest of the semester. Cash this in at any time and get into ANY parties for free! (Code word will be given at the time of flier being cashed in) (Girls get in for free, Guys $5 @ the door)
“We’re having a little competition with the sorority down the road from us,” Juyeon explains. “Whoever has more people by the end of the semester gets to host the end-of-the-year party and the other frat or sorority has to buy food and drinks.”
You stare at the paper for a second, pondering your options. Then you smile, look up at the man that you are still pretty damn sure is a stripper, and hand back the flier.
“I’m good, thanks.”
The door shuts, and you turn to go back to bed. The sound of paper sliding across the ground stops you, and you can see in the faint light that streams under your door that Juyeon slipped the flier into your room.
Fucking try hard.
The second time you see Lee Juyeon, he’s handing out fliers again. Only he isn’t walking around random apartment buildings with a weird seductive look that you honestly don’t doubt was working. This time, he’s in a hoodie and jeans and walking around the center of campus with people that you can only assume are his frat brothers.
At first, you almost don’t recognize him, but then his eyes meet yours, and you can see the corners wrinkle when he smiles. Again, you’re confused. Is he smiling at you?
Your head whips around, trying to find someone around you that he might be looking at, and when you turn around again, Juyeon is approaching you.
“Have you thought about it, pretty girl?” He asked and you stared at him dumbly for a moment. Did he just call you pretty girl?
“Thought about what?” He holds up that flier again, placing it in your hands similarly to the other night. “Oh.”
“Did you think I was kidding?” He leans down slightly, keeping eye contact. Your free hand places itself on his chest— which you hadn’t realized before was very solid— and pushes him back. He barely moves. In fact, you are the one who gets pushed back.
“Listen, stripper boy—”
“Juyeon—”
“Stripper boy,” you mimic the exasperated tone he uses with you. “If I wanted an invitation to a stereotypical frat party with a bunch of drunk 20-somethings and cheap beer and bad pizza and try-hard men like yourself, I would’ve gone by now.” You fold up the flier, smoothing out the edges before holding it out to him. He doesn’t take it, and you can see the gears turning in his brain.
“So what you’re saying,” he starts to smile and steps toward you again.”
“Stripper boy,” you warn.
“…is that there’s a chance?”
“Absolutely not, there is not a chance in hell that I’m gonna call some college hunks to haul junk out of my college apartment that I can barely afford to live in let alone pay you to take things out of.” Juyeon shrugs.
“Like I said, payment is optional and can come in…” he wiggles his eyebrows at you, “many different forms, pretty girl.”
“That’s gross, stripper boy.” You scrunch up your nose and he laughs. “Also, why are you calling me that?”
“Calling you what?” his smile only grows and you huff.
“Pretty girl.”
“Because you are a pretty girl.”
“No, I’m—” You catch yourself in the sentence when he leans forward onto the tips of his toes, ready to stop you. “You know what, fuck you. I know that was a dirty little trick and I’m not gonna fall for it just so you can swoop in and say something like oh nooo, don’t say that about yourself! You’re so pretty! And then you’ll tuck my hair behind my ear and you’ll try to kiss me and then—” You stop yourself again. Juyeon’s smile is almost scary at this point, stretching all the way across his face as if this had been his plan all along and you walked right into it.
“And then…?” He teases.
“…fuck you and your frat, stripper boy. God, you guys are such try-hards.”
You hold onto the flier this time, whether too embarrassed to give it back or genuine curiosity, you aren’t sure. You do know that you can’t stop the pounding in your chest, or the heat rising in your cheeks.
“Who was that?” Sunwoo slings an arm over Juyeon’s shoulder, both men watching you walk away with the flier held tightly in your hand. Juyeon smiles.
“Just someone I know.”
“Didn’t look like she was too happy to see you.” Sunwoo snickers and drops his arm down to stand straight. Juyeon turns to the younger man, the smile he had when standing with you now gone and replaced with a permanent scowl.
“Who even asked you, Sunwoo?”
The younger raises his hands in defense. “I’m just saying! It looked like she hated you. Oooh, maybe you’re finally gonna get that enemies-to-lovers arc that Eric is always— WHOA, HEY—” Sunwoo nearly trips over himself trying to get away from Juyeon as the older frat brother swings his arm out in his direction. “Don’t hurt this pretty face! How else is the soccer team gonna get their funds?” A hand in the shape of a finger gun finds its way under Sunwoo’s chin, and the star soccer player smirks.
“I think they’ll manage,” Juyeon swings his arm out again, wincing when Sunwoo lets out an ear-piercing squeal.
It’s like you’re seeing him everywhere. Every class you go to, it’s like he’s always there handing out fliers or chatting with his friends. And, unfortunately, every time you see him, he sees you too. He animatedly waves at you, calling your name or running over to you. Every time, you somehow end up with another flier to add to your collection.
For weeks you’ve been seeing him in places that you swear you’d never seen him in before. You swear that he’s not in your environmental course. You swear that he’s not in your sociology course. He just has to be following you.
That, or you just have shitty luck with Lee Juyeon.
It must be bad luck, you think as you watch the fire department evacuate your flooded building. It must be, you tell yourself as you stand there in the pouring rain in pajama shorts and a sweater, sans an umbrella. There’s nothing else it could be.
Your eyes narrow at the sight of Juyeon standing near a group of girls with those damned fliers in one hand and some umbrellas around the wrist of the other. Your hands tighten around your arms, body shaking from the cold of the rain. Your lips twist into a deep frown when he approaches you, his eyebrows knit together and his lips pursed at the sight of you. His mouth opens to say something, and you hold your hand up to stop him.
“Save it, stripper boy. I don’t want your fucking spiel right now.” His shoulders slump a little.
“I was just going to ask if you wanted an umbrella.” He holds one out, the last one on his arm. “You have to be freezing right now, and you’re absolutely soaked.” Your hand wraps around the umbrella, your eyes still narrowed with suspicion.
“Thanks…” he smiles and backs up to give you space to open it. You would never admit to his face that he was right. That you were freezing your ass off in this godforsaken weather.
“Are you okay?” You look up at him, sniff, and shrug.
“I mean, my home is currently flooding which leaves me homeless for at least a few days. It’s piss-pouring rain out here, I’m in my pajamas with all my clothing inside the flooded building, and now here you are probably trying to get me to buy from your stupid fundraiser thing.” You take a deep breath, finally looking him in the eye. “So no, I don’t think I’m okay, Juyeon. Thanks for asking.” He’s quiet for a moment, and then a small smile breaks onto his face.
“I think that’s the first time you’ve called me Juyeon.” You bite your tongue and turn to walk away from him. “Wait, fuck, Y/N it was a joke. I’m sorry.” He grabs your arm, pulling you back to him. You can see a little bit of panic in his gaze.
“Yeah, well it was a shitty joke.” You scoff.
“I know, poor taste, I was just trying to lighten the mood.” He pulls his hand from your arm, and you almost feel bad. It’s quiet between you two, and you think that this is the first time it’s ever been completely silent. Well, save for the chatter of other tenants and incoming sirens and the yells of officers.
“This fucking sucks,” you grumble, and Juyeon huffs out a laugh.
“Do you have anywhere that you go?”
You shake your head. “Nah, none of my friends have space for another person in their apartment or dorm.”
“You could stay with me.” He says it so fast, so suddenly, that you thought you misheard him at first.
“Excuse me?” Juyeon clears his throat, his cheeks and ears flushing and you can’t tell if it’s from the cold or embarrassment.
“I— I mean you— I’m just—” he stumbles over his words and you smile.
“Is the Lee Juyeon embarrassed right now? In front of little ol’ me, nonetheless?”
“I’m not embarrassed,” he snaps, pressing the back of one of his hands to his neck in a poor attempt to cool himself down. “I’m just— I—”
“Juyeon,” your hand comes up to his arm and he flinches. You let your arm drop down to your side. “Are you trying to ask me to stay with you while the building is being repaired?”
You’re smiling at him, and it’s like that tiny action brings back all of his previous confidence. He’s smirking again, leaning down under the tiny umbrella he gave you. It’s your turn to blush now, but your eyes don’t leave his.
“Because,” your voice nearly betrays you. “That would be a little…odd…wouldn’t it? A girl living with, what, ten men? People would talk.” He hums.
“But they would also find it odd if I just…left you to live in your car for god knows how long, wouldn’t they?” His hand is on your waist, and the breath in your lungs hitches.
“That’s true…” you hum and pull away from him. “I don’t have any clothes, though. I’d need to find some before doing anything.” Juyeon clicks his tongue and leans back, a thoughtful look taking over the previous…you don’t even know what to call what you were doing. Was he flirting with you? Were you flirting with him?
“That’s true,” he nods his head. “We can grab some from the store tomorrow? And for now, you can borrow some of my stuff— I mean, if you’re comfortable with that.” He stumbles over his words again, and you can’t help but laugh. “Kevin’s clothes might fit you better but— you’re laughing. Why are— why are you laughing at me.”
“You’re just—” You break into another fit of giggles, covering your mouth with your hand to try and muffle the noise. “God, you’re so dumb.”
“How am I dumb?” Juyeon pouts at you, and you know he just wants you to be comfortable.
“Never mind,” you wave him off, “let’s just get going. I’m tired and wet.” Juyeon raises an eyebrow, and you roll your eyes. “Not like that, stripper boy.”
“I know,” he grins at you and tugs you by the sleeve to get you to start walking. “I just wanted to mess with you a little bit.”
“Seems like that’s all you do.” You roll your eyes. “And please tell me you drove here. I am not walking to the house in shorts and slippers.” Juyeon clicks his tongue.
“As if I would walk anywhere in this weather.” He reaches into his pocket and you hear the click of a button, and then the lights of a car in front of you light up. He jogs forward, grabbing the handle of the passenger side door for you with a bright smile on his face. “After you, m’lady.”
“What a gentleman,” you shut the umbrella and duck into the vehicle.
“Only for you, pretty girl.” He winks at you and shuts the door.
Juyeon is quiet when you exit his bathroom. Your hair is wrapped in a towel, your body swamped in Juyeon’s clothes. He’s lying flat on his back on his mattress, his legs dangling off the edge and his fingers drumming on his stomach. Your feet shuffle against the ground, the fabric of his sweatpants covering your feet entirely and dragging behind you. His t-shirt is almost like a dress on you, hanging down to your thighs and the sleeves baggy along your arms where it would be formfitting on him.
“Where should I put these?” Juyeon lifts his head, and you hear a sharp inhale. He’s staring at you, and the gaze is heavy with something you can’t place.
“You—” his voice cracks and he sits up fully, resting his elbows on his knees. “You can just toss them in the basket next to you. I’ll— I’ll wash it tomorrow.” You hum, doing as he says and tossing your clothing into the basket.
His room is…weirdly clean. At least, it’s cleaner than you expected it to be for a frat boy. There’s a bit of laundry scattered across the room, sure, but you don’t feel gross just standing there. The floor is clean, the bed is made.
The bed.
The one bed in the room.
“Where— where should I set up a spot to sleep?” You wring your hands behind your back.
“What?” Juyeon stares at you dumbly, his eyes blank and jaw dropped slightly. If you look closely, you swear you can see a puddle of drool on the floor in front of him. Unintentionally, you snort and immediately slap a hand over your mouth.
“I just— I mean this is your room, stripper boy.” You shrug, trying to keep the air as light as possible. “Where should I set up camp for the next three days?”
“You are not sleeping on the floor.” Juyeon shakes his head and pushes off the edge of his bed.
“Then where am I gonna sleep?”
“The bed?” He says it as if it’s obvious. “The fuck? You really thought I was gonna make you sleep on the floor?”
“Stripper boy, I am not sleeping in your bed.” You click your tongue.
“Yes, you are, pretty girl.” He takes a step toward you. “I’m not gonna let you sleep on the floor! First of all, you’re a guest. Second of all, I’m a gentleman. Third of all, I’m—” he cuts himself short again and you raise an eyebrow.
“Well, then I’ll sleep on the couch downstairs. That’ll solve it.” You move to the door, but he grabs your upper arm and pulls you toward him. “Dude, you have got to stop grabbing me like that. It’s kind of annoying.”
“Sorry.” He exhales and lets go of your arm, brushing his hand across the skin he grabbed as if to soothe it. It sends sparks of heat through your arm, and you fight back a shiver. “I just— what if we share my bed?”
You stare at him for a moment.
Then another.
And then another.
And then Juyeon is wincing and stepping away from you.
“I was just— that was stupid. I’m sorry.”
“I mean…” you purse your lips. “If it solves the problem, then sure.”
“Wait seriously?” His eyes bug out of his head and you laugh. “You’re comfortable with that?”
“Stripper boy, if you thought I was gonna kick you out of your bed, then you have a whole new thing coming.” He rolls his eyes. “We can just…I dunno. Put pillows between us?”
“Yeah, that works. That works just fine.” He sighs heavily. Just fine. He’s gonna be just fine these next few days.
Juyeon realizes very quickly that it will not, in fact, be fine. He realizes this when he wakes up in the middle of the night, the pillows between the two of you thrown to the edge of the bed and your body wrapped around his like a vice. One of your legs is hooked around his, the other strewn across his hip to lock him down. You have one arm tucked under his, holding his shoulder while your free arm has slipped around his waist, under his shirt so your fingers are splayed across his abdomen. Your head is seemingly strategically placed on his chest, and he can feel every breath you release. He can feel every pulse of your heartbeat against his leg—
Wait.
…
Oh, this arrangement is not going to be good for his heart.
He tries desperately to shift away from you, to gently pry you off of him, anything to get the pounding in his chest to go away. Anything to stop the blood from rushing to his dick like some goddamn virgin. It’s a normal thing. It’s not something to get fucking hard over, Lee Juyeon. Pull yourself together.
It feels like ages before he’s able to pull himself free, nearly falling out of his bed to get away from you. He freezes in place when he hears you shift, a quiet moan leaving you when your sleeping self finds the spot Juyeon once lay frozen is now empty. His heart is pounding, his feet padding quickly against the floor to get to his bathroom. He’s quick to shut the door, cringing at the squeak of the hinges. Gotta get those fixed, he notes. For future reference, of course.
He’s hard in his sweats, his dick straining against the fabric, and his body feels like it’s on fire. Juyeon leans against the counter, tapping his foot anxiously while he stares at himself in the mirror. His cheeks are flushed, his hair a mess, and his pupils are blown out. He grips the marble counter, squeezing his eyes shut and praying to god that he softens soon because he cannot and will not jerk off to you. Not when you’re right there, one thin wall over.
Thinking that was a mistake. His dick twitches in his pants at the thought of you waking up and finding him in the bathroom, cock in hand, and frantically trying to rub one out.
Oh, he’s so fucked, he squeezes his eyes shut as he shoves his sweatpants down just enough to be able to grab himself. Just enough for him to spring free and let the cold air wash over him.
Juyeon is completely, royally fucked, and he knows it as he spits on his hand. He knows it when he wraps his hand around his cock. Juyeon knows it when his body shudders from the first pump of his hand, the brush of his thumb across his tip. He knows it when he fights the whine trying to erupt from his throat.
He knows it when he cums in his hand, ropes of white covering his palm when he places his hand over his tip to minimize the mess. He knows it when all he thought about was you. You and your pretty face. You who calls him stripper boy, who hasn't hesitated to shoot him down every chance you get. You who he’s pretty damn sure is into him in the same way he’s into you.
It’s hard for Juyeon to get back in his bed and lie down next to you knowing that just a few minutes ago he came in his hand to the thought of you. It’s even harder for him to fall back to sleep when you wrap yourself around him again, relaxing against his body and releasing a contented sigh. He tries so, so hard to relax with you, to steady his pounding heart.
God, he’s so fucked.
"When did you get here?” There’s a boy— a man, really— standing at the counter when you and Juyeon walk into the kitchen in the morning. The man is holding a ceramic Garfield mug that you assume is filled with coffee, and he’s got his phone in his free hand. You give him a short wave, and he nods back at you.
Juyeon had been odd the whole morning. Or, at least, the two hours you had been awake and the one hour since he’d woken up and immediately rolled to his feet to get away from you. Something about morning wood. Since then, he’d been keeping a healthy distance from you, flinching away from your touch and giving short responses to your questions and statements. It makes you nervous. Were you intruding? Did he regret asking you to stay?
“Last night,” Juyeon answers for you, leading you to the bar counter and pulling out a chair for you to sit in. “Y/N, this is Sangyeon. He’s the Tau Beta Zeta president. Sangyeon, this is Y/N. She’s gonna be staying with us for the next couple of days.”
Sangyeon squints at you, gnawing at his lip in thought.
“And you guys are…what? Friends? Lovers? Fuck buddies?” You scoff and Juyeon whips his head around, nearly spilling coffee onto his hand.
“None of the above,” you wave your hand and almost miss the flash of emotion in Juyeon’s eyes. “Just someone who needed a hand, and strip- Juyeon happened to be there.” Sangyeon turns to Juyeon with an inquisitive look on his face. Juyeon shakes his head and turns back to you with two mugs in his hand.
“I didn’t know how you take your coffee so I just threw some cream and a bit of sugar in there.” The mug he slides over to you is shaped like a ladybug, and you can’t help the laugh that escapes you at the sight of his mug. Normal, compared to yours. Just plain white with text that says ‘Stupid people shouldn’t breed!’. “What’s so funny?”
“Just the…interesting arrangement of mugs you all have here.” You smile at Juyeon, but he just scoffs. Sangyeon excuses himself and pats Juyeon on the shoulder before making his exit up the stairs.
“I’ll have you know that I picked these all out.” He defends, but you can see the embarrassment in the flush of his cheeks, the dark color spreading to the tips of his ears. “You got a problem with them?”
“No, no,” you smile into your mug and take a sip. It’s bitter, and a bit watered down, but you’re grateful for the caffeine boost. “It’s cute, really. You made some great choices, stripper boy.”
“That sounded sarcastic,” Juyeon pouts at you and you shake your head.
“It wasn’t!” You reassure him, leaning your torso onto the counter. Juyeon stands near you now, on the shorter edge of the counter and he scoffs.
“Sure it wasn’t. Because you’re the most supportive person in the world of my decisions.” He turns away from you, staring at the magnetic words on the refrigerator instead of at you and you rise from your seat to stand by his side.
“Juyooo,” your voice is sing-song in tone and Juyeon fights every instinct inside of him that screams to pin you to the counter and fuck you senseless. “Are you mad at me?”
“Of course I am,” he rolls his eyes and tilts his chin up when you come to stand in front of him.
“Why?” You frown, but the corners of your lips fight to turn up.
“You made fun of me!”
“Yeah, but it was all in good fun!” You protest. “I think your choice of mugs was cute!”
“No you don’t,” he scoffs and crosses his arms. “You think they’re stupid.”
“No,” you shake your head. “I think they’re adorable.”
“Bullshit,” Juyeon says. “You think they’re stupid.”
“I do not.” You groan.
“You do!”
“Do not!”
“Do too!”
“Do no—”
Juyeon’s lips are on yours, and you let out a startled gasp, your hand flying up and finding purchase on his chest.
You try to push him off, you really do! You think about it, you tell your body to push him off, and then somehow you end up pulling him closer, allowing your eyes to slip closed. Isn’t it so weird how that happens?
Your hand is holding his shirt tightly, keeping him close to you while your lips mesh in a sloppy kiss. His lips are rough against yours, his teeth nipping at your lower lip and then his tongue slips out and soothes the bites. The repeated actions have your legs trembling, your breathing becoming shaky, and your hand that isn’t in his shirt rises to the back of his neck to tangle in his hair and pull him impossibly closer to you.
His hands are all over you. They run up and down your waist, brushing under the waistband of the sweatpants he lent you, pushing into your back to keep you close to him. They run under your shirt, grazing the underside of your shirt, and he smiles when he feels you exhale shakily against him.
You hesitantly, and ever so slowly, push your tongue out, letting it run across his lower lip and you’re a bit too pleased when he opens up for you immediately. He lets you push your tongue into his mouth, lets you explore, and is ever so patient with your hesitance.
Gently, oh so gently, he sucks on your tongue while you try to pull it back into your mouth and you release the tiniest, almost inaudible whine.
Apparently, to your complete dismay, this snaps Juyeon back into reality and he pulls away from you. He pulls away quickly, almost stumbling back and into some of the bar stools. You’re standing there, almost in a daze, and both of you just stare at each other for a moment. He doesn’t say anything, and neither do you, and Juyeon can tell that you’re regretting what the two of you just did.
And it hurts. It really hurts when you open your mouth, going to speak and nothing comes out. He smiles sadly.
“I should find a way to get to the store. You’re gonna need some clothes for the next few days.”
“Juyeon, wait—” You reach for him, but he just shakes his head.
“It’s fine, pretty girl.” He reassures you, but his voice breaks and betrays him. “No hard feelings. Let’s just forget it happened.”
“I don’t want to forget that!” You protest, but Juyeon just shakes his head.
“Like I said, pretty girl,” He grabs his mug and smiles at you. There’s no emotion behind it, at least not one that you want to recognize. “We gotta get you some clothes for the next three days.”
It’s infuriating how quickly he seems to move on. Three days pass by, and not once has he even hinted about talking about what happened. It was almost like he’d forgotten about it entirely.
Which, to your dismay, was exactly what he wanted you to do. It wasn’t as if you regretted the kiss, at least not in the way he thought. The regret that you knew you had let slip was from pulling away in the first place. You had only meant to come up for air, knowing that you would likely drown in him had you given yourself the chance. Now, due to your own stupid mistakes, the tables have turned for you.
He’d been avoiding you since you moved back into your apartment two days ago. He’d avoided you in the classes you were now all too aware that you shared. It stung that he no longer sought you out, no longer yelled your name from across the room, and drew unwanted attention to you. He no longer pressured you to call the number on that damn flier that sat untouched on your desk.
“You could always just, I dunno,” Chanhee is lying on your bed, scrolling on his phone while you rant about his frat brother. “Call the number? I’m pretty sure it’s his number anyway.”
“Wait seriously?” You spin around in your desk chair, turning away from the project you two are supposed to be working on together.
“Yeah, it just happened to be really convenient that the last four digits of his phone number spelled junk. What do you think of this?” He flips his phone around to show you a coat. A black trench coat, nothing too fancy about it.
“Eh. You have plenty of those, don’t you?”
“True.” He nods and lays back down.
“Should I really call him?” You lean your head back on your chair, lacing your fingers together on your lap. “What if he hates me, Chanhee?”
“Trust me, Y/N,” Chanhee exhales heavily, “that man does not hate you.”
“But how do you know that?” You ask. “If he told you that, he could be lying to you!”
“Girl,” Chanhee throws his phone down onto your mattress and sits up straight. “If a man hates you, he is not going to jack off at 3 in the goddamn morning— with his frat brothers in the other room that connects to his bathroom, mind you— to the thought of you. Trust me. He doesn’t hate you.”
“You don’t— I’m sorry, what?” Your eyes are bugging out of your head and Chanhee grimaces in a way that tells you that he was not supposed to tell you that.
“Oops…”
“What do you mean he— Chanhee, what are you talking about?” Chanhee is already rising from your bed, grabbing his laptop, and sliding his shoes on.
“I think it’s time for me to get out of here,” he tells you with a tight smile on his face. He comes toward you though, holding the flier in his hand. “But, I really think you should call this number. Could really help you both, I think.”
When the door shuts behind your classmate, you sit in silence for a moment. A few moments, really, just holding the first flier that Juyeon ever gave you in your hand. There’s a little bit of water damage from the flooding, but the number in the middle of the page is still there. It’s almost ironic that Juyeon’s phone number is the only part of the advertisement that isn’t ruined, like something was telling you that you needed to call Juyeon.
Your phone rings once, then twice, and you hear the line click on the other side.
“Thank you for calling College Hunks, what junk can we haul for you today?”
It takes Juyeon a little over an hour to get to your apartment. By that point, you’d gathered anything that you didn’t want into trash bags and set them in your living room. Each bag is organized to an extent. Things to be recycled, to be donated, or just thrown away. Most of the items that needed to be thrown away were damaged when your apartment building flooded, each damaged beyond repair. Almost like fate, isn’t it?
There’s a knock on your door. One, two, three. Your hands are shaking a bit when you grab the door handle. One, two, th—
You practically rip the door open before Juyeon can finish knocking. He’s standing there, wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. The outfit he’s wearing is the same as the day he first showed up at your door. White tank top, cargo pants, and some worn-out sneakers. For once, his hair isn’t styled. He’s parted it down the middle, a little bit of gel used to keep it from falling into his face too much.
“Hi,” you breathe out. It’s like Juyeon is stuck in a trance, his hand still frozen mid-knock and his mouth opening and closing like a damn fish. “You— do you want to come in?” Juyeon blinks.
“Uh…yeah, yeah sure.” You step to the side, allowing him to walk into your apartment. It’s awkward, to say the least. When you shut your door, the click makes both of you flinch and suddenly you’ve forgotten everything that you wanted to say to him.
“Is this—” Juyeon’s voice cracks a little bit, and he turns to face you but he doesn’t look you in the eye. “Is this everything?”
“Yeah,” you nod, “yeah it is. Needed to get rid of some stuff after the building flooded, you know?” You laugh, but he doesn’t and you’re quick to shut your mouth. Say something, dammit. Anything. Your mind is screaming, whether at you or Juyeon you aren’t entirely sure. “Juyeon, can we ta—”
“I should get started then,” he cuts you off and you grimace. “Got a couple of appointments today, so I can’t linger for long.”
“Right…” your voice trails off. “Yeah, I’ll get out of your way then.”
Plan A is a bust, then.
Juyeon moves quickly. You don’t know if it’s work ethic or if he wants to get away from you as fast as possible, but it stings. You don’t say anything to each other the whole time, not that you staying in your bedroom the whole time did anything to help the situation. You can hear him moving around, carrying bag after bag down to his car, but not once does he come to talk to you. Not even about the junk he’s carrying out.
Your forehead is against your desk, your eyes shut tightly as you try to block out the noise, knowing that he’ll be carrying out the last bag soon. The sound of your feet tapping on the ground is almost enough to drown out Juyeon, but not quite enough to drown out the knocking at your bedroom door.
Your head snaps up, and you spin around to face Juyeon.
“Hi,” he gives you a tight smile. “I just— I brought out the last bag so I guess— I guess I should go, huh?”
Don’t, you want to tell him, don’t leave yet.
“Yeah, I guess so.” You stand up and clear your throat. “Here, what’s your Venmo? I can send you some money.”
Juyeon shakes his head. “I already told you that you don’t have to pay me.”
“Yeah, you did,” you agree. “But I’d feel bad if I let you leave empty-handed.”
“I’m not leaving emptyhanded, though!” He argues. “I have your junk! Which, surprisingly, all fit into the trunk of my car.”
“Go you,” you cheer halfheartedly. “That’s not gonna stop me from paying you.”
“Pretty girl,” he warns. “I’m not gonna let you pay me.”
“Then I’ll get Chanhee to tell me your Venmo.” You grin and Juyeon rolls his eyes.
“You’re not gonna let this go, will you?”
“Nope,” you let the sound of the p pop when you say it and Juyeon lets out a dry laugh.
“You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that right?”
“That’s the plan.” you look at him, and this time he’s looking right back at you. The awkward air has cleared, and it almost feels normal. Like it was prior to the kiss. God, please let Plan B work. “Are you gonna tell me what your account is, or am I gonna have to find some other way to pay you?”
There’s a spark of something in Juyeon’s eyes, and his eyebrows knit together. Please get it, please get it, please get it. C’mon Juyeon, don’t be dense.
“Some other way?” He echoes, and you mentally cheer when he steps toward you.
“Mhm!” You bob your head. “Like you said, there are other ways to pay you, aren’t there?”
He’s right in front of you now, and you swear you see him start to reach for you before he’s forcing his hands back down to his sides.
“You’re not—” he inhales and squeezes his eyes shut. “Please tell me I’m not misinterpreting this.”
“Depends on what you think I’m saying.” You smirk, and Juyeon starts to lean down, his eyes flitting from your eyes to your lips.
“What I think you’re offering,” he speaks slowly and you can feel his breath on your lips. “Is not exactly…appropriate, pretty girl.”
“And I think you’re right.” You’re practically whispering, every movement from your mouth causes your lips to brush against his and you’re so close to caving and just yanking him down to crush his lips against yours.
Thankfully, Juyeon moves fast and he’s grabbing you by the waist to yank you to him and your hands are in his hair by the time his lips are on your.
This kiss is heavier than the first. It’s messier and sloppier and his tongue is in your mouth, pushing at yours and licking at every nook and cranny that he can reach. You walk him backward to your bed. You don’t separate your mouths, not when you push him down onto your mattress, not when you sit on his lap with your legs on either side of him. Your nails dig into his shoulders, leaving little crescents indented into his skin.
Juyeon groans at the stinging feeling, sliding his hands under your shirt and gently pushing it up. He does it slowly, giving you time to stop him, but you get impatient and shove him back until he’s lying down. His hands are still on your waist, and he’s watching with a hazy gaze as you lift your shirt over your head and throw it somewhere across the room.
“Shit, pretty girl,” he breathes out and tries to slide his hands up to your chest. You’re smirking when you slap his hands away.
“No touching yet,” you tell him and he groans in response.
“You can’t just do this and not let me touch you!” He whines. “It’s not fair!”
“You should’ve thought about that before you ignored me for a week,” you retort and he falls silent. “It’s fine, though. I’ll just get you back with this.” Your hands reach behind your back and you swiftly unclip your bra and throw that in the direction you’d thrown your shirt in. Juyeon’s hands lurch up to touch you again but you’re faster, grabbing his wrists and pinning them down to his sides with a click of your tongue.
“Y/N please,” Juyeon begs, his breath hitching in his throat when you leave him completely, and he can only watch as you unbutton your jeans and tug the rest of your clothing off. He’s practically drooling as he sits up, watching you undress for him. He watches you walk to your dresser, digging through your drawers for a moment before returning with a long piece of silk. “Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking joking.”
You laugh at his reaction and toss the silk onto the mattress behind him.
“Why would I be joking, Juyeon?” You stand between his legs, and you grin when he doesn’t even try to touch you this time. You can see the tent in his cargo pants and let your hands trace up and down his thighs. “Take off your shirt for me?”
There’s a dangerous look in your eye, one that Juyeon can’t find himself wanting to disobey and he’s lifting his shirt over his head without a second thought. Your eyes widen ever so slightly and Juyeon can’t help but smirk. He knows he’s attractive, knows that his body catches people’s attention and he’s proud of that.
With you, however, there’s something different about how you look at him. Something primal, like a predator looking at her prey and he shifts in his spot.
“Pants too.” He nods and rises to his feet again, tensing when you raise your hands. “What are you stopping for? Get moving, don’t you have other appointments to get to?” Your hands are tracing the lines of his abs, feeling the way he flinches at your touch. You continue to trace his body as he bends down to lower his pants and boxers to the ground. Your hands raise to the backs of his shoulders, to the back of his neck, and let them slip down to his pecs when he stands straight again.
You almost let yourself falter when you see his cock for the first time. It’s big, bigger than any you’ve taken in the past, and you can’t help but imagine what he’d looked like when he was thinking of you. Did he look as messy as he does now, eyes practically crazed, his breathing labored as he fisted himself? Did he watch himself in the mirror, imagining it was your hand instead of his own?
“So pretty, baby.” You breathe out, letting your hand drop down to wrap around his cock. He sucks in a breath, letting it out when he whines at the feeling of you running your hand up and down, squeezing at the base, and rubbing your thumb along the tip. “So pretty.”
You push him back again, releasing him from your grasp and following him as he slides up your bed. You take the silk in your hand, gesturing for him to put his hands above his head, tying the silk tightly around his wrists so he can’t get loose. Juyeon lets out another broken whine when you straddle him, running your fingers over your core and gathering the wetness on your fingers. You allow yourself to moan quietly, gauging Juyeon’s reaction to you touching yourself. He’s staring with his mouth hanging open, his cock twitching against his abdomen as he watches you sink two fingers into your core. He whines when your body shudders against him, when you curl your fingers up into you.
“Is this what you think about, Juyeon?” You try your best to keep your voice steady when you speak. “Do you think about this when you touch yourself? When you lock yourself in the bathroom, jacking off to the thought of me like some little virgin?” He doesn’t respond, too lost in the sight of you riding your own hand.
He doesn’t see you reach your free hand up, gasping when he feels you squeeze your fingers around his throat. Not too tightly, but enough to get his attention back on you.
“I asked you a question, baby.” You pull your fingers out of your dripping pussy, gazing at the arousal covering your hand and humming in thought. “I guess I should give a reason to not answer, shouldn’t I?”
“Please,” Juyeon whispers out, and you smile when you raise your fingers to his mouth.
“Go on then,” you tell him, “suck.”
His head lurches forward, taking your fingers into his mouth and moaning at the taste of you. He runs his tongue along your fingers, and you inhale sharply, your eyelids drooping when he tries to open his eyes, trying to watch and gauge your reaction.
“Cleanin’ me up good, hm?” You pull your fingers from his mouth and Juyeon takes this time to catch his breath, to gather himself. You don’t give him long though, no more than a few moments before you’re grabbing his cock in your dainty hand and lining it up with your pussy.
“Fuck,” Juyeon throws his head back, his hands curling into fists, and groaning as you sink down on him. Your walls are squeezing so tightly around him, and he knows it has to be a stretch for you but you act as if it was nothing for you, as if he didn’t hit that sweet spot inside of you just by you sinking down on him. You let your eyes drift shut, fighting back the urge to start riding him until he has nothing left to give you. You can feel him twitching inside of you, knowing that he’s close just from your warm walls squeezing around him. “Fuck, pretty girl, please.”
“Please what, baby?” You coo, the hand on his throat squeezing gently. He whines and you grin. “Use those words, pretty boy. You can do it.”
“Let me fuck you,” he gasps out and you let out a yelp when he thrusts his hips up and sends you falling over his body.
Your breasts are in his face now, and he doesn’t give you the chance to do anything before he’s bringing his arms down and trapping you against him as best he can. He thrusts his hips up, driving his cock into you at a pace that you couldn’t keep up with if you tried. He reaches his head up, his teeth latching onto one of your nipples and practically forcing you to follow him as he brings his head back down. Juyeon sucks at your breast, pinning your chest against his face with his arms that he’s brought to rest between your shoulder blades. Every one of his thrusts sends you up his body, but he does his damn best to keep you in place, sucking and licking and biting at both of your tits, groaning every time your cunt clenches around him.
You feel like you can’t breathe, the air being punched out of you in broken moans and pitched whines. Juyeon is in about the same state as you, the noises he’s letting out are louder than yours, more frequent, and it brings a fresh wave of arousal washing over you.
“Are you close, pretty boy?” You gasp out. “Gonna— gonna cum for me?”
“Fuck, yes,” He throws his head back, his hips stuttering against yours. You bring one of your hands down to your clit, rubbing furious circles into it, letting your walls flutter around him and drawing both of you closer to your orgasms.
When you cum, it has you seeing stars. Your orgasm has you crying out his name, has you clenching around him so tightly that he’s finishing not long after you. You sink your body back, rolling your hips gently over his and placing a firm kiss on his lips. Your tongue pushes into his mouth, swallowing the sounds he makes as he pumps white hot cum into your core. It’s less of a kiss this time, though, and more teeth gnashing together and biting at each other’s lips.
His hips slow down after a minute or two, and you let your body relax against his, reaching up to untie the silk around his wrists.
“Fucking finally,” he groans and lets his hands roam your sweaty body. “Thought I was gonna die if you kept me tied up any longer.” You laugh, letting your head drop to his chest.
“That’s what you get for making me wait.”
“Yeah, whatever,” he rolls his eyes at you. “And you called me a try-hard.”
“Because you are, Juyeon.” You roll off of him, staring at your ceiling while you lay next to him on your mattress.
“Whatever you say, pretty girl,” he rolls his head to look at you with a cheeky grin on his face.
“Why are you smiling like that?” Your eyebrows knit together. He just keeps smiling. “What, stripper boy.”
“You know what all this means, right?” You shrug.
“That I have to go to all your parties now or you’re gonna hunt me down?” He laughs and you smile a bit.
“That, and I get to call you my girlfriend.”
“I never agreed to that.” You deny, turning on your side and facing him fully.
“Sure you did! It was at the very bottom of the flier I gave you.” He tells you.
“No, it wasn’t.” You frown.
“Yeah, it was!” He sits up, reaching for the second flier he gave you that had been placed on your bedside table. “See? Right there at the bottom in tiny font that I knew you wouldn’t pay attention to!” You squint at the words he’s pointing at and let out a scoff.
“Seriously, stripper boy? If your name is Y/N L/N and you redeem this offer, you are legally obligated to become Lee Juyeon’s boyfriend, whether you like it or not. Xoxo.” You push the paper back into his hands. "When did you even put this on there? We hardly knew each other when you gave me this flier."
“I told you!” He beams and lays back down. “You’re my girlfriend now.”
"Cute, but that doesn't answer my question, stripper boy." He digs his fingers into your side, pulling you closer to him, and grins.
"Does it matter?"
"I mean...I guess not?"
"Exactly."
“Does this mean that when we break up, I get half of all your assets?” He glares at you playfully.
“Fuck, no.”
“Damn…” you sigh and lay down with your head on his chest. “I guess I’ll have to put up with you for life then, huh?”
“Mhm.” He cards his hands through your hair, gently combing through the knots. “You excited to spend the next 75 years with me, girlfriend?”
“Not at all, boyfriend.”
“Yes, you are.”
“…Try-hard.”
© itsbeeble. do not steal, claim, or repost.
#itsbeeble#kpop#kpop imagines#kpop x reader#kpop angst#kpop fluff#kpop smut#the boyz#the boyz imagines#the boyz x reader#the boyz fluff#the boyz angst#the boyz smut#lee juyeon#lee juyeon x reader#juyeon imagines#juyeon x reader#juyeon smut#juyeon fluff#juyeon angst#itsbeeble asks#reese's works 📩#reese's pieces 🗞️#reese's moots 🩵#fawn~ 🧼#ally~ ⛄️#blackoutorbackout🍻
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paris – l. juyeon
pairing: lee juyeon x fem! reader
genre: exchange student! juyeon in paris (ft. his erasmus friends). friends to ???, angst, fluff. actually, the genre is longing. halloween party au but the halloween part plays like,, 0 part in the fic, basically. idk the paris pics did something to me he is so european coded. paris by the 1975 without the drugs in a fic, essentially
warnings: cheating from yn's side, swearing, alcohol, smoking. the reader is canonically french im sorry 💀
word count: 6k
There’s quite a few reasons why Juyeon never told his friends from home about you- the girl he met on his student exchange trip. Some were the cause of Juyeon’s insecurities in himself, some the cause of your relationship status, all the cause of his unrequited love and the way you broke his heart, making Juyeon’s whole memory of Paris a bit hazy and bittersweet and the leave, paradoxically, that much harder. But still– and maybe you’re the reason for it– oh, how he’d love to go to Paris again.
a/n: do NOT cancel me for being a casual matty healy enjoyer i am a 2014 tumblr girlie at heart
“And where are my gifts? Where are the souvenirs?” Hyunjae calls after the boy that’s still kind of jet lagged from the flight (even though it’s been 3 days since his landing and he slept the whole day after his brother picked him up from the airport), the latter looking at him with tired eyes.
“That’s all you want from me after not seeing me for 6 months?”
“Yes. Where’s my baguette?” Hyunjae glares, making the younger boy whine at the request.
“I didn’t know you wanted a hard rock baguette from me. If I had known, I would’ve taken one with me and smashed it against your head the moment I arrived here.”
“Well, if it’s authentic,” Hyunjae shrugs, laughing. “I’m just joking… I know we’ve been calling and texting like, every other day, but let me ask again. How was it?”
Juyeon finally smiles at his friend’s question. This is what one expects after coming home from studying abroad for 10 months– not a souvenir request. And trust me, Juyeon did bring gifts, out of the warmth of his own heart, but after being asked for them, he kind of doesn’t want to play Santa anymore. Kind of like when you decide to wash the dishes, but your mum tells you to do it at the same time of your decision– the motivation fades away the mere second you’re requested to do the thing.
“Well, it was good,” he shrugs, “it was… something,” Juyeon says– because how does one fit 10 months of their life into a few sentences without stammering– and before he gets a chance to say anything, Hyunjae catches him off guard with another inquiry.
“Is it true, by the way? Are European girls really prettier?” he grins, wiggling his eyebrows at the boy as if to suggest something– but all it does is make Juyeon shrug, acting not really bothered with the question.
“Dunno,” he hums, “I think it’s equal to here.”
“So you’re telling me you went 10 months without getting laid in France?” Hyunjae gasps, making Juyeon furrow his brows in utter disbelief.
“When did I say that? Or anything that would even suggest that?”
Now, this was a trap. Juyeon is too gullible. See, Juyeon was pretty transparent with everything during his calls with Hyunjae back when he was in Paris. He told his friends back home all about the European food, the rock-hard french baguettes, the weird looks and annoyed sighs he got when speaking English to the clarks in the shops, the cold showers in his accommodation and the pretty park in front of his university building. They also know all about his friends from Paris– the international students he met in his course like Shotaro from Japan, Bence from Hungary and Marco from Italy– but when the question of girls came around, specifically in the romantic light of things, Juyeon went awfully quiet. You can’t blame Hyunjae for getting into suspicions.
“So you did?” Hyunjae gasps, grasping at the straws.
Juyeon sighs, reaching for his bag. His awfully big hand slips inside of the black backpack, fingers touching various things before he brings out a bunch of gifts: a keychain with the Eiffel tower, some magnets, postcards, a fashionable beret he found in one of the souvenir stores but never saw anyone actually wear in the whole 10 months in the streets of Paris, some perfume and high quality chocolate. Hyunjae’s eyes go wide, making satisfaction swim through Juyeon’s veins at the sight– he managed to deflect the attack.
Sometimes, having materialistic friends is a plus.
As he watches Hyunjae touch all the things on the table, fingers trailing over metal and the shiny wrapping of the dark chocolate with an acknowledging nod, Juyeon takes out another thing out of his bag– his digital camera that he brought along for the ride. He sent his friends a lot of pictures when he was in Paris, and he also posted quite a few on Instagram for everyone to see, but the camera held more memories and more moments than anyone’s ever seen before– it’s a source of treasure for himself as well, but he figures it wouldn’t hurt to share a glimpse with his best friend.
“Wanna see? I took tons of pictures, but you can look through only the interesting ones, if you want to,” Juyeon hums, offering the camera to the male, the display already shining at him from the gallery, small icons of all pictures on the SD card in a 3x3 row on the small thing.
A few pictures of the town are on preview right now, but if you scroll through the gallery, moments of his friend Marco’s birthday party that his friends threw for him, or the snapshots of his friend’s faces come into sight– Juyeon’s sure Hyunjae’s eager to see how all of the people he’s been talking to him about look like.
Hyunjae nods, taking the camera from him and squinting at the little icons. His fingers move along the touch screen and scroll through the gallery, eyes zooming on the interesting ones and grinning as he shows them to Juyeon, awaiting the backstory of a certain image.
Everything goes well, until Hyunjae gets to the latest pictures on the SD card– well, apart from the ones Juyeon took from the window on his flight home. And Juyeon really doesn’t know what he was thinking, but hey– sometimes he doesn’t think things through as much as he should– and that’s why when a particular photo comes into his best friend’s sight, turning the camera towards Juyeon with a shiteating grin on his face, the question ‘Who’s that?’ makes the poor boy a bit shaken.
His tall figure, standing alongside someone shorter– you, in your vampire costume, fake blood running down the side of your mouth, a hand thrown over his shoulders and your side pressed into his a bit too close as he stares down onto you with an obviously star-struck face, suit covering his body in a poor attempt at Joker’s costume– the moment stares back at him like a haunted memory.
He clears his throat. “That’s… that’s just Y/N.”
Hyunjae hums, having a staring contest with the picture on the screen. The date on the bottom reads 31/10/23, the last day of Juyeon’s stay before he had to go home. “How come I’ve never heard about Y/N?”
“There wasn’t much to say, I guess,” Juyeon shrugs, taking a sip from the bottle of beer on the table.
“Sure…” Hyunjae doubtingly nods, scrunching up his nose in disbelief.
“I’m serious. She’s just a friend I met there,” Juyeon offers, licking his lips in nerves.
And it’s the truth– you were just a friend and there really wasn’t much to say about you two– so why does Juyeon’s heart hurt a bit as he recognizes the events of the night as if it happened yesterday? Why does he feel nostalgic, maybe a little bitter about the way you two left off?
Hyunjae doesn’t know, but there’s quite a few reasons why he never heard about you in the first place. Some were the cause of Juyeon’s insecurities in himself, some the cause of your relationship status, all the cause of his unrequited love and the way you broke his heart, making the whole memory of Paris a bit hazy and bittersweet and the leave, paradoxically, that much harder.
But still– and maybe you’re the reason for it–
oh, how he’d love to go to Paris again.
31/10/2023
The buzzing of the room makes Juyeon’s already thumping head ache in its crevices, the smell of alcohol in the breath of everyone talking to him only making his stomach twist and turn with acid. He’s had his fair amount of drinks himself, but there is a very faint line between the amount that’s just enough to keep him going through the night and the amount that makes him puke and have a two-week hangover, and with the flight home he has to take tomorrow afternoon, he doesn’t think drinking more would be a good idea.
“Don’t break it!” Juyeon tiredly hurries out as he sees his friend Marco handle his camera, the device almost falling out of the foreign friend’s hands.
“I won’t! Hold on, let me just–” the Italian mutters, the coating of vodka shots and the cheap red wine (made to look like blood to keep things festive) making his words slur together as he speaks.
Juyeon reaches towards his drunk friend (while also questioning how he’s going to take a plane back to Italy tomorrow in a very hungover state) and tries to pray the prized possession out of his hands, but comes to a fail as the tall man waves him off with a theatral arm wave, shoving the poor boy towards the white wall and putting the camera up against his own face. “I’ll take your picture! So you can– you only take pictures of us, Juyo,” he rambles on, “I’ll take your picture so you can show it at home to your friends!” Marco grins, having Juyeon aimlessly sigh and stretch out his lips into a fake smile, waiting for his friend to take the picture so he can get his camera back to safety.
“Me too! Me too!” he suddenly hears from somewhere to his right, and before he has the chance to decipher the owner of the female voice, a weight on his shoulder tells him you just jumped at his side– almost topping him over and into the spooky decorations to his right– as you giggle into his ear. “Have it?”
“Aaaalmost!” Marco stretches out as he squints at the camera– and in the spare few seconds before the shutter goes off, Juyeon allows himself to stare down at your figure glued to his side. You’re wearing a dark lipstick on your smile, a drip of fake blood rolling down the side of your mouth. There’s a corset top enveloping your middle and a flowy black skirt only pulling the whole look together even with the absence of fangs– and while you don’t suck out his blood, Lee Juyeon can physically feel how you sucked out all oxygen out of his lungs in your sexy vampire costume.
He’s seen you around tonight, but he never got the courage to walk up to you. Something about this being his last night in Paris might be the reason why.
He was simply too bummed out about how things between you and him never went further than fits of laughter in class as you helped him with his French, or friendly hugs when you bid him goodbye at the corner of his street. Maybe it was his own fault for falling for someone so out of his reach. He always knew his stay in France was temporary– hell, he was an exchange student, he was aware of what he was getting himself into– but still, he couldn’t help but recognize the familiar warmth in his stomach whenever you were around and the strange racing of his heart whenever you were close enough for him to smell your shampoo for what it was. He was completely, utterly smitten with you– a french local that would be erased out of his lifestyle as soon as he lands back home in Korea.
The shutter of the camera is all it takes to break his train of thought, making him snap his head back to his Italian friend. A sigh of relief is heard in the room as Juyeon finally reunites with his digital camera (he was surprised to see Marco let go of it so easily), and before he has the chance to think of a conversation topic to indulge in with you, you have his words catching in his throat at your own pace of speech.
“Have you been here for long?” you ask, flattering your eyelashes at him. Juyeon gasps before he presses his lips together into a tight line, shrugging.
“A bit.”
“Why haven’t you said hi?” you frown. “You said it’s your last night! You wouldn’t leave without a goodbye, would you?” you shake your head at him, playfully poking his shoulder with your pointer finger.
He was going to. Not anymore, he guesses.
“No,” he disagrees instead, “I was gonna look for you when it was my turn to leave,” he quickly comes up with an explanation, having your features relax as a warm smile overtakes your pretty features again.
Even with your face all bloody and your eyes having dark circles under them from eyeshadow (and mascara that weared off a little, which you were completely unaware of), Juyeon finds you absolutely, utterly and fascinatingly beautiful. He’s glad no one is able to read his inner monologue– or else he’d be the one with blood running down the side of his face. If the punch to seal the cut would be coming from you or your boyfriend, he’s not quite sure.
Maybe both. The main thing is, you’re taken and his feelings aren’t reciprocated.
Which is why his silly crush on you that maybe, just maybe, turned into something more meaningful was that much damaging to his poor soul.
Because Juyeon swears he never loved anyone before, but after spending the night with you drinking cheap wine in his empty dorm room on his birthday completely alone– since it fell on a Sunday this year and he didn’t have that many friends yet to celebrate with, only having spending 2 weeks in Paris at the time– during which you taught him French swear words and kissed his cheek goodbye (which he thought may be a cultural thing, although he wasn’t sure); after all of this, he felt like you’re the person he’ll think of when someone asks him about his first love when he's old.
And even if he had the balls to do anything about it (which he didn’t), he simply couldn’t. You were out of reach.
“You’d better,” you hum, “or else I’d hitchhike a plane and come over to Korea just to kick your ass.”
“You can’t hitchhike a plane, you weirdo.”
You sigh, shaking your head. “Of course I can. Watch me.”
Juyeon finds himself grinning at the adorable determination in your voice. It makes him feel a certain type of way that he knows he shouldn’t– but after spending 10 months with the feelings (5 of which you were single, 5 of which you’ve spent dating your boyfriend) and absorbing the idea of leaving you and everything behind tomorrow, Juyeon no longer feels as guilty about the act of loving you. Not anymore– not tonight.
“I like your costume,” Juyeon comments, pointing to the attire you’ve dressed yourself in.
“Really?” your eyes light up. “Look, I even wore the bow my idiot of a boyfriend said looks tacky,” you say, making a little twirl for the man. Your skirt flows nicely in the air and you stumble a bit due to the alcohol in your system, but when Juyeon catches you by your forearms and steadies you, there’s a content smile sitting on your lips despite your previous sentence.
“It looks pretty on you,” Juyeon hums, nodding. “It’s not tacky at all.”
“I always knew you had more taste than him,” you sigh dramatically, making Juyeon question your actions.
Oh?
“Anyways, I like your costume as well,” you comment.
“Thanks,” he says, although his half-assed attempt at a Joker’s costume wasn’t anywhere near your level of preciseness, “Shotaro was supposed to go as Harley to match with me, but he pulled out of it at the last minute,” Juyeon pouts.
“Gosh! That would’ve been fucking amazing,” you laugh, swatting your friend in the arm playfully– the way you always do when you laugh– but as you come down from it, there’s a bitter tone in your voice. “I asked my boyfriend to wear a couple’s costume too, but he said all my costume ideas were lame.”
“Y/N–” Juyeon starts, wanting to speak up about the matter very obviously present in the conversation, wanting to console you, say anything, but you cut him off again– your courtesy– with a shrug and a grin on your face made to mask your true emotions (didn't work. Juyeon knows you too well).
“It’s okay. That’s why I dressed up as a slutty vampire just to spite him,” you say.
“What’s his costume?” Juyeon asks.
“Not sure. I think he just bought the Scream mask, or something,” you mutter, rolling your eyes at the male.
And now, Juyeon was never big on gossip. But if gossiping meant poking fun at your boyfriend, the last night before his plane back home takes off is not the time he’s passing on a snarky comment. “Lame.”
“I’m so glad we are on the same page, Juyo.”
His heart leaps at the nickname– a lot of people call him that, but the tone you say it in, the sweet melody of your voice as you throw it at him like a promise (of everything and nothing at all– you’re fond of him, but never fond enough), only you have this effect on him when you call him that. He wishes he had you saying his name recorded, documented somewhere on his phone, your accent and all, so he could hear you say it when he foolishly misses you in the middle of the night, like he knows he will when he lays awake at home, in his tiny, silent room.
“Do you want to get out for a bit? It’s getting too hot in here,” you say as you wave yourself, hoping to cool off, but failing miserably with the heat created from the bodies swimming through the house, and Juyeon finds himself nodding at your question.
Your feet drag you outside of the house, the cold breeze instantly cooling down your sweaty bodies. You two stand on the front porch together, watching the world around you revolve in a fast, yet slow manner– there are couples making out in the corner of the yard, one of them pressed up against the tree, and friends chasing each other down in zombie costumes, passing by bottles of alcohol between each other.
Juyeon hears you hum, making him turn his head towards you and see you offering a cigarette to him. He'd never been much of a smoker before, but Europe taught him to never turn down a cigarette when offered, and so he only takes out one out of the pack, watching you mirror his movements. You fish for your lighter in your bra (and Juyeon finds himself too mesmerized to look away during the action), clicking it and putting the flame against the cigarette trapped between his lips.
He doesn’t know what it is about the action that makes his eyes hooded as he watches you– noticing the forgotten speck of glitter from some step of your makeup routine under your eye, making him want to swipe his thumb over it and take it off for you– but he can’t get his gaze off you as he breaths in the smoke, his head going more fuzzy than it has been only a few minutes prior.
When Juyeon’s cigarette is lit, you move to light your own, all while the male watches you with almost a dreamy look on his face. Somehow, he’s glad no one’s watching you. He doesn’t think he would be able to conceal his feelings for you tonight.
“Are you gonna miss this?” you suddenly ask, looking up at him from his right.
You? Absolutely.
“I think so,” he nods, “it’s a lot different to home, but I made a lot of memories here.”
He watches a hint of smile spreading over your features. “Do you remember when you accidentally told our professor you were horny instead of excited?” you laugh.
“Oh, shut up,” Juyeon laughs at the memory. His French never really got to a perfect level– that’s why most of you settled on speaking English between each other– but the first few weeks were a living hell of a language barrier for Lee Juyeon. “The more concerning part is that this is what made you approach me,” he notes.
“Well, I recognised that you needed help, and I was willing to provide it,” you say, taking a drag out of the cigarette and blowing the smoke into his face.
Juyeon looks at you through the smoke cloud, snickering. “I’m kinda grateful, though. You were the first friend I made here.”
You look at him with a tender look– something so full of care Juyeon swears he feels his stomach doing somersaults– before you press your lips into a solemn smile. “Well, I’m honored, Juyeon Lee,” you drag out in a posh accent, making the boy break out into a laugh.
He takes another drag off the cigarette, inviting the nicotine into his system. Mixed with the alcohol in his veins and your aura surrounding him, he almost feels on cloud 9, like he’s flowing in space and he can’t get down. He watches as you lean over the railing of the porch, forearms meeting with the metal in a set of goosebumps. Breeze flies through the air, making your barely-clothed figure shiver.
He knows he probably shouldn’t. Your boyfriend is somewhere inside, and although you two are seemingly in a weird sort of fight, it’s not his place to act as a gentleman.
Still, Juyeon finds he has nothing to lose. He shrugs off the suit jacket he’s been wearing and drapes it over your shoulders wordlessly, noticing the way you look back at him over your shoulder with a soft smile on your lips.
A comforting silence overtakes you two. Juyeon takes the last drag off the cigarette and puts it out on the iron railing, enjoying the effect your sheer presence has on him. The music coming out of inside is only a mere background noise now, providing him an occasional distraction to the buzzing of his own thoughts.
“Say, Juyo,” you start, “do you know where Dorothy lives?” you ask.
Juyeon hums in disagreement. “Don’t think I do. Why?”
“I’m sleeping over at hers tonight,” you mumble, mentioning your best friend– the girl Juyeon’s met plenty of times in the 10 months of knowing you. “I was supposed to stay at Andre’s, but I’m not talking to him right now.”
“Oh,” is all Juyeon says. The mention of your boyfriend always throws him off the track a little.
“I dunno where Dorothy went, but I’m getting kind of sleepy.”
“Why can’t you just go home?” he asks.
“Juyo,” you laugh, “my parents would kill me if I got home tipsy and smelling like cigarette smoke. Don’t you know how they are?” you joke, shaking your head in disbelief.
He doesn’t. He kind of wishes he had the chance to know, though– because if he knew your parents, maybe it would imply something. Signify something more.
“Do you want me to walk you to Dorothy’s?”
“Yeah,” you nod, lids heavy. Juyeon doesn’t know what time it is, but the last time he checked, it was well past midnight– he doesn’t think he’d stay around much longer himself.
“Okay,” he nods, watching as you slowly peel yourself off the railing and wear his suit jacket properly, the fabric drowning you, but keeping you warm. The sight, the sentiment of it, makes Juyeon’s hands shake and his throat go dry. You’re so close, yet so out of his reach.
Your feet are slow as you march towards the direction of your best friend’s house. Juyeon doesn’t know how far it is, but he wishes for you to take the long way home– if those are the last moments he has with you, he wants to drag the evening out the best he can.
The night is quiet. The only thing ringing in your ears is the sound of your own footsteps, when Juyeon surprises himself with the question that noisily cuts out of his throat.
“Why don’t you break up with him?” he asks.
He expects you to go mad at the question– you were known to have quite the fierce temper. You and Andre have had a few problems in the past: he was known to be reckless with his snarky comments that somehow hurt your pride, his nasty behavior when he got drunk, and the not-so-happy opinion your parents had of him. You were known to blow things out of proportion, screaming, crying and making a scene whenever you could if you thought it was appropriate, known to talk about your conflicts with your friends and digging out opinions out of them on the matter.
Juyeon always made sure to give you lukewarm arguments whenever you asked him about your boyfriend. Never too heated to make himself seem suspicious. Your relationship was none of his business.
Again– tonight, though, he has nothing to lose.
“I dunno,” you shrug, your steps a little uneven on the pavement, “it’s… a matter of habit, maybe? It’s weird,” you say.
The explanation gives Juyeon just about nothing. A matter of habit? Is it a habit to stay with someone? Was there not more needed for a relationship?
Juyeon doesn’t find it in him to reply. Instead, he lets you talk.
“I think I might love him, or something. I’m not really sure…” you mumble, the sentences breaking Juyeon’s heart a little by little, shattering it right in front of you on the pavement, “because if I didn’t, why else would I put up with all of this?” you ask, not really expecting an answer.
“All the shaming, the spiteful remarks. The pettiness, the silent treatment… tell me, Juyo, do I have any dignity?” you laugh, shaking your head in disbelief.
“Y/N…”
The snicker that escapes out of you quickly turns bitter. Your body grows impossibly closer to his, your hands sneaking around his bicep. You walk with linked arms, your head falling to his shoulder. “I don’t think I really love him, though,” you suddenly rebuttal, “‘cause like… I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t tell my grandkids about Andre, y’know? I think that’s the way you know. If you can imagine thinking so fondly about someone that you… that you’d mention them even in 50 years, ‘cause the memories still feel fresh and you’re delighted you once knew them, then…” you trail off, voice fading.
“Do you know what I mean?” you hum, pouting.
He does know.
“Sorry, I’m rambling–”
“No, I get you,” he reassures you, nodding to himself.
“You always do,” you sigh, breaking Juyeon’s heart into a million pieces, “anyways, with that being said… I think I’m with him only because breaking up is too much of a hassle. And, I think I like the attention,” you splutter, laughing at yourself, “that’s… so desperate of me, I know. I’m starting to doubt if it’s even worth it.”
“He’s not,” Juyeon finds himself saying as you two cross the corner.
“You’re only saying that as my friend.”
“No, I’m saying that as your– as someone who cares…?” he stutters, mentally kicking himself for sounding so readable. Surely, you must’ve already noticed. If not from his current statement, then from the way he looked at you the whole night. You are a smart girl– you were always quick to point out the men that would soon hit on you when you were at the club. You have a good eye when it comes to others.
You only laugh, though. Oh, how Juyeon loves the sound.
“Thank you,” you hum.
You two fall silent for a while. Juyeon finds himself enjoying it. It feels comfortable– to walk with you through the emptied Paris, accompanied by the yellow lampposts and soulless streets. Only you two, your linked arms and his suit jacket around your shoulders.
“We’re at Dorothy’s,” you muse when your steps come to a halt, gesturing towards the silent, dark house on the other side of the street, “I think she’s not home yet, though. Her light would be on.”
Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Juyeon looks from the house and back at you, then back at the seemingly empty house again. “And now what?”
“I have to wait for her,” you shrug, “will you… keep me company?”
You don’t even have to ask. He’d always keep you company.
“Well, I’m not just gonna let you stand alone in the street in the middle of the night, am I?” he playfully shakes his head in disbelief, but secretly enjoys the fact that he has more time with you before you have to pay each other goodbye.
“Always knew you were a gentleman.”
“Pretty sure that was my middle name,” he notes.
“I thought you said that was ‘handsome’ once?”
“I have two,” he laughs.
“Is that possible?” you tease.
“Of course! Look it up,” he says, turning to you as he talks. “My name’s actually Lee Handsome Gentleman Juyeon, it’s on my ID and everything,” he jokes, watching as your eyes turn into moon crescents and your throat lets out a fit of amused giggles.
Another playful punch to his shoulder. A happy sigh. A shake of your head, full of disbelief.
“Damn, Juyo. I’ll miss you like crazy, you know?” you suddenly utter, making the boy’s heart fall down into his stomach. The implication of your words sounds a lot like a goodbye, and although he was aware of the fact that he was leaving before, he doesn’t think he really let the reality down on him until now.
This time tomorrow, there will be no Paris. No Marco. No Shotaro. No Bence. No French locals, no bagels for breakfast, no shitty ass dorm room.
No you.
“I’ll miss you more,” he says. He thinks he’s right.
You’ll miss him like a friend. He’ll miss you like his first love.
You stare at him for a heartbeat. One, two– before you latch onto him, much like when you first met tonight. Your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him close, head resting on his shoulder only when you notice his hands wrapping around your middle. Breathing in your scent, Juyeon focuses very hard to keep his heart rate in check– it’s hard to not falter under your touch when your nose buries itself into his neck, cold skin nuzzling into his hot one, hands squeezing him tighter.
Juyeon doesn’t think you’ve ever hugged him like this before.
And now, you won’t ever again.
You break away from him only enough to still be in his hold, your forehead resting against his. The new intimacy between the two of you makes him gulp, eyes focused into yours– watching the silver and gold swirl around your irises, counting your eyelashes. Noticing the faint mole on the top of your nose bridge.
Foolishly letting his eyes dip lower. Memorizing the shape of your lips with his gaze. Taking in a shaky breath when he feels your fingers playing with the hair on his nape.
“Will you tell your grandkids about Paris?” you ask, voice barely louder than a whisper. Juyeon would almost think you’re suggesting something with your question, but when you speak up again, the suspicion is proved correct. “Will you tell them about me?”
The boy drags his eyes up back to yours. He examines the intention. He finalizes that he has nothing left to lose.
Tomorrow, this will all be a memory. A moment out of his reach– much like you, all this time. A moment of time he experienced and won’t ever get back.
“I will,” he nods, swallowing. “Will you?”
You smile at the boy, the curve of your lips capturing his attention again. If anyone asked, he’d tell them it’s pure biology– the way his eyes zoomed in on your mouth the moment your expression changed. That’s how attention fluctuates– he learned about it in class somewhere, he’s fairly certain.
Why he’s unable to look back into your eyes after the question is a matter of something else, though.
“I think I might,” you breathe out.
There’s buzzing in his fingertips as he relishes the moment. The sentiment makes his knees weak, his brain fuzzy, his sight blurry and a little hazed. When he finally catches a glimpse of your gaze, he finds it glued to his mouth.
He could take it as an invitation.
He won’t, though.
“Kiss me?” you ask, whispering.
He shakes his head in disapproval. “I can’t.”
Not when you’re taken. Not when he’s aware. Not when he knows you might regret this in the morning.
“Can I kiss you, then?” you ask.
That, however, is a whole other situation.
You asked to. You're making the first step. He doesn't have to feel guilty– who cares whether either of you might regret this decision tomorrow.
A simple nod–
that’s all it takes before you lock your lips with his. Your mouths move against each other with a passion he’s contained for his whole stay. You taste like vodka and orange juice, the slickness of your lip gloss making Juyeon’s lips slide against yours with more ease. He kisses you like you’d kiss your first love– with everything in him, with everything he is.
He kisses you in a way that shows he wants to remember this forever. In a way that makes you lean even closer, pressing up firmly against him as you angle your head to make the kiss deeper. One of your hands moves from behind his head to twist itself deeper into his hair, tugging a little at the root to make the boy gasp under your actions. That has you inviting your tongue into his mouth, eager to taste him, to explore.
Juyeon doesn’t think he’s ever been kissed like this. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt so vulnerable, so open while kissing someone. This is him with his heart on a plate, naked and ready to be stabbed, squished by the weight of circumstances breathing onto his back.
His cold fingers move along your sides. Your hands settle on his shoulders to steady yourself, head pulling away to gasp for oxygen.
You look so pretty when he opens his eyes. Lipstick smudged and eyes blown out, hair a little messy from the October wind. He’s like an addict presented with his favorite drug– he can’t get enough, he can’t resist as he chases after you, leaving kisses along your jaw and the corner of your mouth, where the blood is, slowly meeting your lips again in another lock.
Everything else disappears. In this moment, there’s just you, you, you…
No flights. No weight of his own conscience. No boyfriends, no unsaid feelings.
No regret.
And Juyeon thought he had nothing to lose, but suddenly, with you in his arms, he feels as if he’s being stripped of everything he never even had, only got the glimpse of last minute, a few hours before he’s gone.
You lean away again. Juyeon watches you with big eyes. A smile appears on your face as you move a finger up to his face, cleaning up the side of his mouth off the dark lipstick you’ve imprinted on him. He feels fragile under your touch. One bad move and he breaks, falls apart under you.
“You have to come back to visit one day,” you whisper, cradling the side of his face.
Juyeon nods. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever get the chance.
But as you stand on your tippy toes and press a kiss to his forehead, making a million different fireworks erupt in his stomach, he doesn’t let himself think of that (im)possibility. He watches as you smile at him, locking your eyes in a gaze tender and soft, yet electrifying, holding something special.
Before you take off to meet your best friend walking up the other side of the street, you hug him one last time and whisper into his ear.
“Goodbye, Juyo.”
Seeing as you lock your arms with Dorothy, walking up into the silent house and never looking back, Juyeon lets himself feel the last hint of longing for someone he always knew would never be his. And it’s strange, because he hasn’t even left yet,
but oh, how he’d love to go to Paris again.
#deoboyznet#the boyz#juyeon#lee juyeon#tbz#the boyz x reader#the boyz angst#the boyz fluff#juyeon x reader#juyeon fluff#juyeon angst#lee juyeon x reader#lee juyeon angst#lee juyeon fluff#tbz x reader#tbz fluff#tbz angst#juyeon scenario#juyeon fic
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every day is a lovely day... | tbz lee juyeon
pairing » the boyz lee juyeon x gn!reader (lmk if i missed anything)
trope/au » strangers to lovers, non-idol au!, university au!
genre » mostly hurt/comfort(...?), mostly fluff, a pinch of angst (i always say this but i'm kinda confident in this statement this time lmao), deep reflection on life and aspects of the earth, juyeon who basically falls in love with you at first sight, juyeon being kinda confident towards reader, picnic date by the beach after finishing you last exam!, comforting boyfriend chef (not actually his occupation) lee juyeon!
word count, estimated reading time » 2249, ~8 mins
warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » reader didn't sleep well, reader uses caffeine to battle tiredness, the slightest of academic difficulties (it's just a dash imo), deep thoughts of sea and sky life (not an expert in this field at all), mentions of open water/vast landscapes in the thoughts
navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'
i swear that banner changes colour before my very eyes. because i do understand that it's bright and at first glance, you can barely see the water on the bottom right. but when i change tumblr to a lighter mode, stare at fading wind lines near the top of the image for some time, my eyes adjust and the water becomes very obvious. i think it depends on colour context because on dark mode, it's hard for the 'effects' to kick in. is it just me...? it's messing with me...there has got to be a study about this somewhere...😭 anyway!
(i accidentally released this earlier so for those who saw anything: no you didn't!! 😭)
happy birthday to you @littleroaes !! ngl i was gonna give up on this birthday present but then i was scrolling through and found this little wip and tried to modify it to what you like. i was gonna do f2l like you mentioned you like but my brain stopped making ideas for that as soon as i told myself to write about it 😭 so here's my very first short story on strangers to lovers that thankfully you have appreciation for 🫶 from your profile, i read you like fishes, the colour blue, kimbap, spring rolls and of course, lee juyeon!! 😸 so i tried my best to incorporate these prompts here. i tried something different for the fishes 🐟 topic but i hope this incorporation is fine 💙
here is your boyfriend that will get you through uni! hope you have the happiest birthday!! 🎂🎉 love you!! mwah!!
Everything changed for you when Juyeon walked into your life.
No, literally.
Well, maybe not…literally.
You remember the prominent eyebags you’ve carried for the last month since university started. The new semester has weighed you heavier than the headache that is arising from the lack of sleep and the missed attempt to get your daily caffeine content since you slept through your alarm. At the very least, you’re thankful that everything is now electronic because you are so unprepared to be commuting to campus with a heavy mind, heart, eyelids and straps on your shoulders that would surely give you a very sore back.
That day started horrendously. You really thought that the alarm was the only thing that the universe threw at you for their entertainment but it was the embarrassing fact that you dozed off during class. Your elbows were propped up too comfortably against the desk and the perfect temperature of the lecture room didn't make it any easier for your natural melatonin to kick in. The next thing you knew, your palms cupped your cheek and there was this loud bang that was accompanied by the sharp pain on your cheekbone when you hit the wooden desk.
Everything is going awesome and you just attracted around a hundred students back to you. Thankfully your lecturer didn't take it to offense and shot you an emphatic smile.
You guessed then after that the universe felt bad for the negative attention that you got and they canceled the next class on your filled weekly schedule. Usually, you would be annoyed at the sudden change but this gave you a little hour to bask in the sun, the open green space and your favourite cup of beverage wrapped protectively by your hands.
Only to find out that you left your wallet at home.
“I’m sorry,” you said to the worker who tried her best to reassure you and to take your time as your frantic fingers ran through the items in your bag.
Your knees fell to the ground and sweat started to creep against your forehead and to the side of your head, a silent reminder to be mindful of the long line of students who are mostly probably just as stressed as you are in their university journey. The lighting above you helped with your sight in your receipt-filled bag but suddenly, the long papers with their minuscule printings became hard to read and a deep voice stated his order.
At first, your instinct was to defend yourself, tell the person who cut in line and added an order between you and your caffeine to wait a little bit longer but his choice of words registered into you before you could voice out anytime.
“I'll add an iced Americano with the order, please.” And then the familiar beeping sound of a successful transaction rings.
Your neck cranes up towards the stranger that only made your day easier and you couldn't help but let out a gentle gasp. A sharp pair of eyes yet soft and curious like a cat, his perfectly shaped nose and the slight upturn of the corner of his lips with the smile that beams down on you.
The chain necklace around his neck dangles above you and you were sure it hypnotised you to say, “It's an angel.” These were your first words to Lee Juyeon.
“Ah,” the recipient of the compliment could only blush first at your words, a hand sneaking up to mindlessly scratch his nape. “We should at least get out of the line.”
Now it's your turn to have your cheeks heat up at the realisation that you're blocking everyone else’s caffeine intake.
You thought that maybe Juyeon would just walk away and wait for you to join him on the other side of the table with the hanging ‘Pick up orders here' sign hanging from the beige ceiling. Yet, he crouched and helped you sort out your materials, collecting your pencil case and books into one arm, the other swiftly scooping up the straps of your bag along his other forearm.
Your eyes couldn't help but widen at your empty hands, and you were flustered at how he was still holding onto your things even when the customer who stood behind him joined you both after paying. Juyeon’s bangs shook when he refused to give your things back, insisting that you should be the one to carry the coffee instead.
“Coffee is important.” He convinces you with that warm smile of his. “Don't drop it!”
With the promise to pay him back for another cup, came a few promises to help with common subjects and overlapping knowledge. And with time, came the fluttering feeling in both your hearts that only grew when you comforted each other in the long nights leading to assignments and exam periods that came all too quickly but passed by excruciatingly slow.
Juyeon made it all worth it though. You walked out of the last two-hour prison of the semester to be greeted with your usual reward packed in a paper bag. If it was anyone else but Juyeon, the contents of the bag would be mushed as you hug it close to you but it's the person that you have missed so much that gets your love first.
“You called me last night, bubs,” Hearing his voice not through the help of technology is more refreshing and you couldn't help but tighten your hold around his figure.
“Every day is missing Juyeon day.”
“Well for me, every day is a happy day when you're in my life.”
It's a line that he has said to you many times even before he started dating you. Juyeon tried to make the line more interesting each time but one day, mixed with his tiredness and excitedness of finally seeing you, it became the line that revealed his adoration for you.
Hand in hand, Juyeon's thumb caressing the back of your palm, your right arm closely stuck to his left, you both sway and skip to the nearby beach to relish in each other’s company with nature. The light salty breeze scent hits you before you can even see the gigantic natural blue space that seems endless and seamless with the blue sky. As your outfit becomes one with the direction of the wind and the sun is still bright enough for you to know even when your orbs are hidden beneath your eyelids. It’s the little moments like these that the Earth seems to be so rich in beauty and life becomes beautiful although you’ve been studying endlessly for the past three months.
You couldn’t help but let your mind wander to the body of water that eventually begins to seep into your view as you walk up the small hill. You imagine the school of fish including the friendly dolphins to the misunderstood sharks and all the shapes and sizes of the life forms in there, some dependent on their family whilst some choosing to live alone.
That’s why you’ve always been so enamoured by the living, along with the sea plants that they harmoniously live with.
You wonder what kind of thoughts these creatures have as they live in a world much bigger than the land you stand on and if they ever want to explore the whole ocean like most people would love to see the landmarks scattered across the world. If they visit the landmarks of the ocean, would they even remember it? Or would they just swim away, finding it more than satisfactory with the fact that they’re free, especially those who swish through the water with company?
Same with life in the sky, do they ever get tired from flying? Like some people who are scared of a large body of water but are already mid-journey, how do they persevere in their flight and keep going? Do they sometimes look at human transportation and hope that they could bask in that luxury as well? Sleep in the moving vehicle and relax your tense muscles against the cushioned interiors even if it’s just for ten minutes. You want to know the answer to that and maybe, you’ll be able to learn something from the other life form.
You wish sometimes you would be one of them but it’s hard to say so as well because all forms of life experience different hardships and it’s impossible to generalise anything, nor is it truly fair to say one has it better than the other.
That’s when life becomes so complex and beautiful. The fact that you’re so small in the context of the horizon that stretched too far for you to see and comprehend, leaves you appreciating the small things in life.
For you, the arms encircling your middle remind you that no matter what hardships you face, you’ll be able to safely fall back onto someone. That you can freely cry without judgement and that life is lovely whenever he’s in it. Juyeon steals a kiss from your lips before placing another one on your cheek. Your eyelashes flutter open and you swear that Juyeon’s smile is brighter than the sun that smiles down on you both and louder than the crashing waves against the eroding rocks.
And whenever he asks you, “Feeling better?” You know that Lee Juyeon is the one person that you can answer the question truthfully and genuinely.
You both settled with a picnic blanket underneath a substantial amount of coverage from the sun by the park near the beach, the crashing ocean waves still in sight. You observe the tree above you dancing freely in the winds while the birds seem to sing for both of your accomplishments.
When you look back down by the cue of a single, proud hand clap, you're greeted with numerous small glass containers clinking next to each other. The colours from the neatly presented food only lifted your energy further and your boyfriend’s orbs glimmered more with the help of the sun that still peaks through from the leaves above.
Juyeon complied when you asked him for a bite of his homemade kimbap and spring rolls. The flavours instantly make you nod. “I refuse to believe that your mum didn't make this.”
Your boyfriend’s smile flattened, dipping further into a frown, “She helped but I did all the cooking and rolling!”
“Okay, you cute clingy baby.” Leaning in to press a quick kiss against his pouting lips. “I’m just joking around with you.”
To Juyeon, the peck is way more than just unsatisfactory and his thoughts about it are clearly reflected first from his eyes. Then, his hand landed next to the food box on his far left and made a sweeping motion on the cotton blanket to the right, pushing all of the obstacles between you and him. His knees slide his body closer to you that was once on the other side, and now with your boyfriend only looking at you with the softest, loving gaze between his overgrown bangs, you couldn’t help but purse your lips momentarily. You couldn’t let out a question or comment but that changed in the blink of an eye when leaned in Juyeon, replacing your growing confusion with a muffled chuckle instead.
A soft groan vibrates to your lips, Juyeon complaining about how there was nothing to laugh about—not when his soft lips are between yours. A palm made its way around the back of your neck, pulling your still extensive smile against his more serious ones. Eventually, with the way that Juyeon poured his love into you, you’re determined to do the same to the only person who would only let you claim his lips. A part of his blue and white sweater is now captured in your fist but it did nothing to your heartbeat which starts to pick up whenever Juyeon pulls away to adjust his lip’s position on yours.
The subtle nose nudges only served your fingers to trail up his arm that held you close, tracing along the vein that started near his elbows and ran his wrist near your pulse on the side of your neck. Now, with the way that your thumb brushes softly on his soft skin, Juyeon could melt further into you, leaning in further to deepen his presence to you. Whenever he pulled back, you would be the one chasing after him pulling on his sweater, wanting to indulge in his loving space even more.
“Who’s the clingy one now?” That lands him a shy hit to his chest that only made him let out a weightless chuckle in the air. “The love of my life and the only one for me,” he whispers sweet nothings as your foreheads kiss each other, a sweet gaze grazing upon your facial features. “I love you, bubs.”
So maybe you weren't hypnotised at all that day. Maybe, the universe didn't hate you after all. Maybe, this was all meant to happen even though you did go through some stress when the sequential events happened.
“I love you more.”
But at least, the universe gave you a free coffee.
Two, you really did meet an angel named Lee Juyeon.
And three, just like how he holds the day when you confess to him that you love him back, you repeat the words that he said to you at the start of all your lovely days, “Every day is a lovely day when you're in my life.”
navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...'
tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here or removed!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿 @sanaxo-o
#deoboyznet#k-labels#k-films#lee juyeon x reader#lee juyeon fluff#juyeon imagines#lee juyeon imagines#juyeon scenarios#juyeon timestamps#the boyz#tbz#tbz x reader#tbz imagines#the boyz x reader#juyeon x you#juyeon fluff#juyeon fanfic#juyeon the boyz#lee juyeon#juyeon angst#juyeon#the boyz juyeon#tbz juyeon#juyeon x reader#tbz scenarios#lee juyeon angst#🗓️ izzy's scheduled posts!
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Criminal | Lee Juyeon
summary: you love Lee Juyeon with all of your heart, and you are willing to do anything for him, even if he is the infamous criminal the city has been desperately trying to place back behind closed bars for years.
pairing: criminal Juyeon x agent f!reader
genre: angst, crime, slight fluff
warnings: violence, minor character deaths, blood, mentions of weapons (guns, snipers, blades, etc.), kissing
word count: 3,380
a/n: here is the 2nd entry from my 100 followers event and this was requested by my love @cloverdaisies 💚 i can't tell you how happy i was when you requested a criminal romance fic (lmao i prob just like writing crime a bit too much) & hope you'll love this my dearest clo 🫶🏻
The sounds of the sirens coming from the dozens of police cars were what filled the city tonight.
It has happened again.
For five years, the city has been haunted by the infamous criminal himself, The Stealer, who is notably one of the most infamous thieves the city has ever had for the past few decades.
Nobody really knew what his motive was or even his true identity. All the public knew was that he had begun his spree, going from building to building to steal the most valued treasures or jewellery the country has kept safe behind those sturdy vaults with heavy security. None has ever succeeded in breaking through the tight security, that was until The Stealer came into the picture. However, the man himself has never harmed anyone, as his motive was just stealing the valued items while leaving no trails behind.
That was until he was finally caught red-handed by one of the rookie agents during the infamous Royal Bank Heist case that happened last summer.
Obviously, the public finally rejoiced at the fact that the infamous criminal that had been lurking in the shadows for long enough had finally been put behind bars, and everyone could return back to their normal daily routine again.
But their happiness was not to last for long, for The Stealer himself broke free while he was in captivity and was placed in one of the vehicles where he was supposed to be transported back to the local police station.
And because it was you who helped the now infamous criminal to break free.
Why have you done that months ago? When the law enforcement has been desperately trying to put this madman behind bars once and for all?
There was only one answer.
Because the infamous The Stealer himself was Lee Juyeon, your childhood best friend whom you grew up with and had a crush on for the longest time.
You and Juyeon go all the way back in middle school, where you and your family had just recently moved from the outskirts of Busan to Gwangju. After settling down for a short while, it didn’t take long for your parents to enroll you in one of the infamous institutes at the time so that you could continue with your education.
And that was where you met your crush and best friend, Lee Juyeon.
As you stepped into the classroom to introduce yourself, you felt all sorts of negative emotions ranging from fear to anxiety. None of your classmates really paid much attention to you and even treated you like a nobody. But that wasn’t the case with Juyeon. The boy immediately welcomed you to sit right next to him, being one of the only empty seats that were still available at the time. Next thing you knew, you both immediately hit off as good friends within a few days.
Juyeon was definitely one of the biggest extroverts you’ve ever met in your lifetime. He would always initiate a conversation with you in any situation you may be in and even bring you along to meet his group of friends every day after classes.
What’s more, that boy was really into basketball, so much so that he eventually secured a permanent role of being one of the active players for the school team, and this went on even until high school. Each time he would drag you to watch his practice match and to his games, which, quite frankly, you felt that it was a chore at the beginning. But as you slowly opened yourself up more to him, you eventually began enjoying these little so-called “dates” since it was where you get to see Juyeon’s skills up close.
And it was when you started to develop a crush on him.
The way how he was so passionate about the sport he loves dearly, up to how you can always witness his good reflexes and muscles up close? You’d be lying to yourself if they did not make you drool whenever you see them in person. Not to mention all of the instances where he turns in your direction to give you a smile or sometimes a wink if you were lucky enough. Oh, how you were the luckiest girl alive.
Things went on till the end of high school, where you both graduated with distinction and made both of your families proud. Eventually, you both got into your desired university, Seoul National University, to further pursue your career. Juyeon went in with a sports scholarship and was determined to dedicate his life fully to basketball, while you went ahead with criminology as you followed your father’s footsteps.
That was until the fall of your first year of university.
Word spread quickly throughout the campus and eventually to the neighbourhood on how Juyeon’s parents were mysteriously murdered in the comforts of their home while he was out running some errands. The sight that greeted Juyeon as he came back was something that will forever be implanted deep within his mind, never to be forgotten.
Ever since then, Juyeon began to distance himself from everyone, even you. After the semester ended, he was nowhere to be seen again.
It was as if he had mysteriously disappeared from the town itself, leaving little to no traces behind of where he might be. You and everyone tried your very best to contact him in all sorts of ways possible, but every single time there was no response at all. Eventually, everyone began to move on with their lives and forget that he had ever existed.
Except for you.
For years you have continuously tried to reach back out to him by writing him letters addressed to his former residence in both Seoul and Gwangju. It did not matter if you did not receive a reply, for you’d figured if one day he were to appear in front of you again, those letters will surely reach him someday.
This went on even until you graduated from university and landed a role as an undercover agent under the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Almost immediately, when you were assigned to a specific department, you were made aware of the series of robbery crime sprees that have happened within the city for the past several months.
During a couple of your first missions, you and your team somewhat briefly came across The Stealer himself but failed each time to capture the man as he was too quick and was always up for a challenge with you and your fellow agents from the bureau.
That was until your second year of working as an undercover agent, and you actually came face-to-face with The Stealer during a stand-off on one of your missions. And it was there you realised it was your crush and best friend you have desperately tried to contact for years.
He removed his mask as he revealed his identity to you since you both were alone at that time, and no words could describe how you felt during that tense moment. Your heart finally felt at ease knowing the person you have been desperately trying to contact has finally re-emerged back in front of you and knowing that he was still alive and sound. But your other half knew that he was now a wanted criminal and is worth thousands of dollars to put him behind bars.
Eventually, you handcuffed the male and brought him down to your colleagues, who desperately awaited your return at the lower ground. Juyeon did not resist much, as he allowed the rest of the agents to escort him into one of the transport vans to take him back down to the station.
At that time, you were the driver and were supposed to make sure that both the fugitive and the rest of the agents returned back safe and sound to the bureau. But what they did not know was that you had other plans in your mind.
You were going to help Juyeon escape.
So that was what you did. You purposely lost control of the wheel and drove the vehicle right into a tree that was situated close to the highway, and immediately all of the agents blacked out from the sudden impact. You and Juyeon, on the other hand, only sustained minor injuries.
Not wasting a second, you immediately helped Juyeon to get out of the vehicle and urged him to make a quick escape now since there were only a few seconds of opening before the remaining vehicles that were following behind yours would arrive at the crash site.
Your friend was definitely conflicted, but you quickly shoved the man into the woods and urged him to keep running and not look back. You could tell that at that time, tears had formed in his eyes, and he was desperately trying to tell you something. Perhaps the reason why he was gone for such a long time, or even the motive as to why he began his spree all these years.
But there was no time. As the sounds of the sirens grew louder, he quickly turned his heel toward the deep dark woods, quickly muttering a simple “thank you” before disappearing into the night.
With that, you were left behind to deal with the mess you have created, but internally you had already prepared yourself to do so when you had plotted out this whole escape getaway for your friend.
I hope I won’t be seeing you again, Juyeon.
Turns out you were wrong, and your friend has seemingly decided to make his comeback tonight after three years since his escape.
The FBI was immediately alerted by the local police stations once news got out that he was back, breaking into the infamous Lotte Hotel Seoul, where the current most prized jewellery was kept safe within the vaults in the basement.
However, knowing The Stealer and how he has managed to break through even the tightest security from past experiences, the bureau knew that they were not taking chances and immediately hopped into action right away.
Since The Stealer has re-emerged after going into hiding for a year, you knew that your superiors would not take failure as an option this time. Hence, all of you agents were equipped with the latest weapons and technology that the bureau has upgraded, and within minutes all of you were out the door, hopping into your vehicles and heading to the designated location.
As you drove your way to the infamous hotel, the only thing that was on your mind was how the head of the FBI had issued a clear order for any of your agents to shoot the man down if needed, doesn’t matter if he was alive or dead at the end of the day, so long as his body was taken to the bureau in one piece.
Shaking off the negative thoughts, you pressed down your accelerator and began speeding up to the site of interest.
Please, Juyeon, please be safe.
The whole ride would’ve taken about ten minutes if only you weren’t preoccupied with all of the negative thoughts you were having about this current mission. You felt like it was one of the longest drives you’ve ever had to take for a stand-off mission.
Once you arrived at the location, you immediately hopped off your vehicle and took all of your equipment with you as you rushed to the scene. Sure enough, some of your colleagues were already there in their designed spots, and some were armed with snipers to take the man down.
What you didn’t expect was that a full shoot-out had already begun, where some of the agents were already shooting the targeted building floor where you assumed Juyeon was. You looked up, and that was where you saw your friend, armed with a gun, also shooting back at your agents.
No freaking way.
Juyeon would never harm a fly. He never did even all those years when he began his spree in the city. The only thing he did was take away the valued treasures and leave the scene in haste.
So why now? Had something changed in the man after going into hiding for the past year? Why has he begun to go down the violent pathway?
You needed answers. And you had to get to him as soon as possible.
Trying your best to think of a way to reach him, you were turning your head back and forth from your fellow agents to Juyeon in the building.
Come on. Think, Y/N. You have to come up with something quick.
As you were lost in your thoughts, one of the snipers managed to aim at Juyeon’s weak spot, pulled the trigger, and within seconds you could’ve sworn you saw the bullet go straight into his right shoulder in slow-motion. Right away, your friend collapsed on the ground, and the agents wasted no time getting into the building as fast as they could.
No, I’m not letting you get caught.
Without thinking much, you immediately removed one of the canisters from your bulletproof vest. You threw it to the ground, creating a smokescreen which could temporarily slow down the movements of your colleagues. That was when you quickly got on your feet and ran up into the building as fast as possible.
Please, Juyeon. Bear with me.
You could say that you were known among your colleagues to be one of the fastest agents alive because you managed to get Juyeon out from there and somehow escaped to the rooftops of one of the nearby buildings instead.
With Juyeon being wounded, it wasn’t easy having to carry him as he leaned on you while draping one of his arms over your shoulders. Not to mention you were carrying your own agent equipment simultaneously. Hence, you could say it was a miracle for you both to have gone undetected as you both made your escape.
As you both reached your temporary safe spot, you immediately laid Juyeon down on the ground while quickly fishing out the first aid materials you had always brought along with you on every mission. Taking one of your blades from your vest, you quickly cut open the black tee that Juyeon was wearing to reveal a bloodied, wounded shoulder. The bullet was stuck pretty well within his shoulder, and since you did not have the right materials to remove it, the best you could do was somehow stop the bleeding for now and slightly help ease his pain.
As you were doing your thing, your friend decided to speak up, and god, have you missed that deep yet comforting voice that you’ve always admired and loved.
“Y/N. You know you are potentially playing a nurse to a killer right now?”
“Shush, Juyeon. Don’t say another word.”
He chuckled. “Y/N. You always see the good in people, even me. After all these years, where I have brought you nothing but pain.”
As you finally wrapped the bandage around his shoulder and put a slight pressure down on the wound, you finally turned your head to face the man of your dreams. Right there and then, tears began forming in your eyes. You just wanted nothing else but to hold him in your arms, assuring him that everything was under control and it would be all okay.
You were about to speak when he reached his hands up to your face and gently caressed your cheeks while wiping the streaming tears away with his thumb. Now, he looks at you fondly and takes in all of your features, as if he has not seen you for so long and how badly he had missed this beautiful face he always yearns for.
“Juyeon…” You began to hold his hand on your face for dear life, not wanting to let it go anymore.
He smiled. “I’m sure you have a whole ton of questions for me, and I’m so sorry for keeping you in the dark for years, Y/N. But I need you to know that I’m doing all this for a reason, and it all concerns my parent's murder from all those years ago.”
So it was something related to that infamous case.
“But I can’t tell you more than that, at least for now.”
Your shoulders slumped in defeat as you hoped he’d come clean to you right here and now. But if he had his reasons, then there was no reason for you to judge him or force him into doing something he cannot commit now.
“It’s fine, Juyeon. What matters is that I’m glad to have reunited with you ever since that car crash from a year prior.”
You both enjoyed that short silence between one another before you began hearing sounds that were coming in your direction, which indicated that someone was coming up to the rooftop.
Time was up, and you had to let him go once again.
Before that, you quickly slipped a note to your friend as you helped him sit up. “Go to this location right here and find this building hidden in the outskirts of town. You’ll find an abandoned cabin where someone will tend to your wounds and hopefully keep you safe till you can get up on your feet yourself again.”
Just as you were about to get Juyeon up from the ground, he immediately grabbed your arms and stopped you in your tracks. “Why are you doing so much for me, Y/N? When the only thing I’ve ever brought you was trouble?”
You gulped before finally answering him with what you have always wanted him to know.
“Because I love you, Lee Juyeon. And I would do anything to keep you safe, even if it meant ditching my status or position to do so.”
Immediately, you dived into his embrace and begged for one last thing you could get from him before letting him go. “Please, just hold me for a moment.”
Sure enough, he did as you were told and returned the embrace as well. Within seconds, he broke it off, and the next thing that happened, he crashed his lips onto yours. More tears began streaming down as you eased into the kiss, wishing to savour this moment for as long as possible.
The footsteps were now getting closer, and you knew that you could no longer hold your colleagues back anymore. Hence, the kiss was broken off, and you helped Juyeon up to his feet while helping him get to the edge of the building. You quickly strapped him up in your zipline equipment which you’d set up prior in case you both had to make a run for it.
“Now go, Juyeon. I’ll deal with them.”
Your friend took one last glance at you and returned one more kiss on your lips. “Thank you, Y/N. I promise you, I will write you back a letter this time. Just like how you’ve done to me for all those years.”
Within seconds, you witnessed how Juyeon glided down into another building, and he made a run for it as best as he could. You watched as he made his way out of the building and eventually disappeared into one of the alleyways, which you knew that it leads to the outskirts of town.
Right away, as Juyeon was out of sight, the doors to the rooftop burst open, revealing a few of your colleagues rushing to you with snipers in their hands. They were obviously shocked by the amount of blood that had gotten onto you, and you somehow convinced them that The Stealer had wounded you badly and fled the scene a long time ago. Thus, one of them escorted you down from the building while the remaining ones tried their best to catch up with the criminal's footsteps.
Making your way out of the building, you couldn’t help but look up into the sky, praying that this whole nightmare you both have been dealing with will ultimately come to an end someday, real soon.
“Juyeon, I’ll always love you and have your back no matter what. And I pray that the next time we meet, we will no longer be haunted by our past.”
masterlist
taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @k-films @flwoie @hokupi @zzoguri @kyusqult @tinkerbell460 @cheonsafics @sulkygyu (join my permanent taglist here!)
#deoboyznet#kvanity#k-labels#kflixnet#k-films#the boyz#tbz#the boyz x reader#the boyz imagines#the boyz scenarios#the boyz fanfic#tbz scenarios#juyeon#lee juyeon#juyeon x reader#lee juyeon x reader#juyeon imagines#juyeon scenarios#juyeon angst#juyeon crime#juyeon fluff#the boyz angst#the boyz crime#the boyz fluff
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# GENESIS ༉‧₊˚.
lee juyeon post apocalyptic au / juyeon x fem! reader
༉‧₊˚. “who will be first to bite into the forbidden fruit?”༉‧₊˚.
̗̀➛ genre: sci-fi, romance, action/thriller, angst, touch of fluff, suggestive, enemies to lovers.
̗̀➛ description: the world was destroyed by nuclear warfare, 177 years later the only survivors were those living in a large system of underground bunkers, with food supply running short and rationing proving no longer effective. the higher council decide to send the younger generation of juveniles to the surface to test the earth’s survivability.
̗̀➛ authors note: hi daisies, since i’m back in my the 100 phase i’m channelling my inner 15 year old jasper jordan obsessed self to write this.. i decided to rewatch s1 (refuse to rewatch later seasons for my sanity lmfao) last week whilst i was bedrotting and a spark of inspiration came to me to write this! it’s my first series on this page so do enjoy!
chapters :
̗̀➛ chapter one
༉‧₊˚. > the bunker project genesis is being discussed, it seems as if the plan to send the delinquent youth to the surface is their only chance to guarantee whether it’s truly survivable up there.. that’s if.. it is successful..
̗̀➛ chapter two
̗̀➛ chapter three
̗̀➛ chapter four
̗̀➛ chapter five
#— series: genesis navi 🗺️#tbz#the boyz#the boyz x reader#the boyz imagines#the boyz fanfic#kpop imagines#the boyz x you#the boyz fluff#tbz imagines#juyeon x you#juyeon x reader#tbz juyeon#juyeon angst#juyeon imagines#the boyz juyeon#juyeon fanfic#juyeon fic#lee juyeon#juyeon#tbz au#deoboyznet#the boyz au#the boyz ff#kpop x reader#kpop fluff#kpop au#kpop fanfics#kpop fanfic#juyeon au
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Cinderella Boy// camboy!juyeon x reader
Living with his two stepbrothers while camboying from his little room, Juyeon dreams of a way to escape his situation. You’re a big fan of the camboy theblover, and when you suspect your fwb’s stepbrother of being him…
Tags: juyeon x reader, Fwb!hyunjae, sex toys, graphic sex and masturbation, edging and orgasm control, 1 smut scene with Hyunjae even 🙀, PWP
non-sex warnings: juyeon’s family isn’t very good to him (evil step brothers sunwoo & hyunjae), camboying and being financially dependent and EXTORTION, mention of getting a woman pregnant to manipulate her, ANGST as this is a cinderella retelling
W.c.: 9.3k
…
“Here, Juyeon, if you’re done with the vacuuming, we left some food out for you.” It’s Christmas, the guests had gone home after enjoying his stepmother’s turkey and chicken, and Juyeon was left to wash the dishes and clean the house. After washing the plates of 10 people— all of them barely fit the apartment he and the stepbrothers were renting—he had to vacuum any dirt or dust the guests would have let in, and now he washes up, planning to finally eat the dinner he missed.
But there’s only plain rice and a salad on the table. He made a confused noise, which made the stepmom scoff. “There’s only one turkey leg left—you didn’t think we’d save it for you, did you?” Juyeon turned back to the cold rice, albeit cooked with butter, but still, he was hungry and wanted actual meat with it. “The last turkey leg is for Sunwoo,” says his step mom. “That reminds me—you need to stay up and open the door for him when he gets home, he says he forgot his keys.”
Juyeon never had a mean thought in his head. He would stay up late if his family needed him.
And yet, his lack of mean thoughts towards other people made up for an onslaught of mean thoughts towards himself.
It wasn’t that bad, he just… never heard good things about himself growing up. It was always about how smart hyunjae was, how outgoing, and Sunwoo—so adaptable to his environment, so strong even at a young age, and how good he was at sports and everything else he put his mind to—Juyeon’s father passed when they were quite young, so his stepmother was the only parent they had around them. And she never had anything nice to say about Juyeon, everything was always about her two sons. Sometimes she even referred to Juyeon simply as ‘the boy’, not even by his name. The boy should do the chores.
And now, living in an apartment with just his two step brothers, Juyeon still felt as inadequate as ever, compared to Hyunjae, who was a law student, and Sunwoo, who went to university on his football scholarship, while he just picked a small but secure major, living in the home his stepmom rented for him—with his dad’s money, yes, but it was all hers, now. And, plus, all Juyeon really felt proud about was… his R-rated camboy channel… and it’s not like he could tell his family.
Today, since it turned out he might have to stay up late waiting for Sunwoo—and knowing he’s out with his friends, he’d take until 3 or later—Juyeon decided to pull an all-night stream, alerting the only other person left in the apartment, Hyunjae—that he’d be in his room. It was late, 11p.m., the perfect time to stream.
His room was padded in soundproofing foam, making the space even tighter than it should be. Between the few feet where he’s got his makeshift-bed propped up, there’s just enough space for his desk and the rolling chair he got, but there’s not even enough space for the chair to roll anywhere. He even bought a smaller type of chair so it would fit, and it already took a good amount of his savings away, and needed a way to make it back.
Which was how he got the idea to cam—granted it wasn’t entirely his, it was his best friend Eric’s, but also, even Cinderella had help from mice and pumpkins.
So the great pumpkin Eric directed him towards this camming site, and it’s been a full year since he’s joined. But it had only been about 2 months since he started actually getting exposure, 2 months since he gained nearly 2k subscribers overnight, ever since the video of him jerking off went viral on the site.
He didn’t know how to handle it at first, since the video was even being shared on Twitter, but Juyeon slowly got the hang of it, reposting the link to his channel on the tweets, and soon, people were joining his streams, and the comments of ‘I didn’t have an account before I saw him on twitter’ encouraged him to go on, and garner more followers, sometimes in hundreds on one day.
Tonight, he’s feeling particularly needy, so he turns the webcam on as soon as he’s locked the door to his room, and signs into his channel. The camera trains on his torso up to his chin, just the way he always limits it to. Sometimes he shows it to the point of his pouty lips, but that’s as far as it goes. He doesn’t know what he’d do if someone recognized him, it was a true fear of his.
“Hey, everyone,” he says drowsily, and it wasn’t to some effect—he really was tired, from the housework and the meatless rice he just had. With tired eyes, he watches as the viewers flowed in, in tens and later hundreds.
“Hello,” he says again. He reads the comments. “Clothes off? Really? Oh, no… I think I should tease you a little bit tonight, though…” But he fixes his shirt, so the neckline lowers and makes them pant over the definition of his chest. He gives the camera a lazy smile. “So what are you guys doing?”
Thebloverlover: loving juyo
He knows it’s stupid to use his nickname as his stage name, but really, no names were coming to his head and it just slipped out. “Loving me…” he leaned into the camera, just enough to feel close enough but not distort his image. “You mean it, right? You really, really mean it?”
Juyoxme: can we see your… 🍆
Juyeon just laughs at vulgar comment after vulgar comment. “I have good news for everyone!” he says. “I’m going to pull an all-nighter—yes, for everybody in every timezone. It’s staying up with Juyo time. You think you can handle it?” He finally unbuttons his shirt, but doesn’t take it off, leaving what’s in the shadows to the viewers’ imagination. “Let’s love each other today, alright?”
.
You squealed in your bed, lying with your laptop on your chest and headphones on. Last time he’d moaned so hard in your ear you’d screamed out loud. And came right then, your vibrator snug against your thighs—it had moved away from you in the commotion of Juyeon’s actions, and you’d cum, untouched, just to him.
So safe to say he’s your favorite camboy on the entire internet. You quickly type a reply as soon as he announces he would be on stream all night:
juy0sprincess!: YOU’RE JOKING
juy0sprincess!: WE’RE GONNNA PLAY ALL NIGHT
The boy laughs on screen. “Yeah, yeah I guess we are! So, how do you want to play with me?”
He angled the camera down on his crotch, as he untied the band to his sweatpants. He moaned, or hummed, in between: “mmm… mmm, where are you imagining it right now? You want this in your mouth? … in your…” He slides the pants off, and you grip the sheets under you.
juy0sprincess!: you get me so wet :(
He seemed to not have read the comment, as multiple flashed up the screen, in tens. You didn’t know why you sounded so pathetic talking to him over multiple screens, but apparently hundreds of people were being just as pathetic.
“Aww,” Juyo sighed, “there’s three hundred of you. I remember when I did these with just a dozen or so… oh, thank you, juyolover1!” You heard the giddiness in his laughter as the flash of the blue ‘___ tipped!’ sign sprouted across the screen.
Ah, right! You hit yourself, you should have been tipping since the start of the stream! Juyo makes your brain go static sometimes. You immediately reached over for the tipping bar, giving him $10 out of your visa card. Juyeon accepts this graciously, thanking you.
He’s so cute when he’s modest and grateful. You tip another $10. You could go anywhere under 50 for an entire week, since your parents still monitored your account usage—but it would all change, once you get a job at your dad’s company! It was nepotism: he was paying you like a real employee, you get as many sick days as you want, you didn’t have to start somewhere lower in position like an intern.
And then, you could tip Juyo as much as you want. You would tip him hundreds, really—he’s your favorite, and he made this 4 bedroom apartment where you lived alone so much less lonely. Ugh, if only he knew how pampered and rich you were…
You tip another $5 when he pans the camera close to his cock, which is leaking with precum. You swear, you’d never seen a cock so pretty—Juyo’s color, the girth, the length, the trim around it, the way his even larger hand would wrap around it so proficiently… is there such a thing as an aesthetically pleasing cock? Well, here it was.
Anyway, you’re almost mesmerized as he pumps his cock in his hands, the pretty tan color meeting a pale pink as the precum leaked out. He hisses, as he gets faster and faster—
Juyolover: don’t cum
You watch as the screen fills with the request that he doesn’t cum, and he only shows his cock as he reads each comment, slowly.
theclover: if you can edge yourself I’ll tip 50
“Hmm…” you can hear the pout in his voice. “Don’t cum?” He sighed, a nasal whine going out. “Alright, if you want to play that game…” He started pumping his cock again, this time so slow it must just kill him. “Princess,” he called—that’s you, that’s you! He remembers you! “Do you want to rub yourself with me, baby? You like it when we cum together, don’t you?”
Your legs squeeze tight together, your thighs hot against the other’s skin. You slowly pulled out your vibrator from under your bed, and spread your legs, putting it on the lowest setting–just so you could still hear Juyo’s voice.
“Let’s edge ourselves together~” Juyo told you. “The chat is mean, and they’re controlling our orgasms—let’s get tortured by them, together, okay?” You hear the sharp inhales and exhales as he keeps stroking his cock. “So now…” he breathed sharply, “now I don’t have to be alone.”
You typed ‘I love you’ and sent, and you don’t know if he sees it, as the chat quickly swallows the comment up.
“Favoritism?!” Juyeon chuckled. The camera’s still trained on his crotch, but you can hear the smile in his voice. “I just know juyosprincess. They’ve been a fan for a long time~ I do appreciate every one of you, though, but… they’re cute. I like teasing them.” He hmphs. “You guys tease me, so I tease them~” And your vibrator whirrs against your slit, sometimes you bring it up to touch your clit.
Juyo knows how to pace himself, of course, so he could go all night—he would edge himself, stop and shakily recount things he finds hot from porn and his imagination (“I think making someone cry during sex is really hot—from the joy, of course”/”ah, you guys love calling people daddy? Do you want to call me daddy?”) and then go back to edging himself. Unlike him, you had already fucked yourself multiple times, fingered yourself imagining his hands in you, and then let yourself calm down and just watched him.
Finally after hours of shaky breaths and needy moans, he lets himself cum for the first time that night, the whiteness coating his hands and the blanket he laid down on the chair. You bit your lips to bite down on just how fucking hot it was, that it could possibly make you cum another time, as he moaned and hissed curses into the camera as he came. “Wow! I didn’t know I could hold myself that long!” he says with a light laugh, as if he’d been doing something completely innocent. “I mean, it was painful doing this… I’ve only done it for minutes, not hours!”
He reads the comments, although you couldn’t see his eyes go over the screen. “Yeah,” he admits, “you guys do like it when I’m in pain—isn’t that so mean? Are my jubis mean?”
About 30 minutes before 4 a.m., Juyo sits up from his seat, tucking himself back into his pants. “Alright, guys, that’s it for today! The person I’m waiting for is home—yes, my roommate—I’ll be back later this month anyway, see ya!”
You immediately shut the laptop and go to sleep, the giant apartment empty and meaningless to you. But Juyo… he had taken the loneliness away and given you a friend, someone that would listen to you, and pretend to love you.
And sometimes pretense was good enough.
.
.
.
During the times you weren’t stalking Juyo on the site, looking through every half-cropped selfie and live he broadcasts, you also had a semi successful social life. If only people knew how the princess lived, in her lonely four-bedrooms-three-baths apartment…
But as the daughter of the man who basically funded half the programs in the university, you’re a wanted woman. And you had a reputation to uphold. So you’d been… doing the law department students’ representative for like, three months now.
You hadn’t meant to end up fucking Hyunjae, it’s just… he’s hot! When it started, it was only a blind date, the school princess and the school’s most reputed upperclassman. You ended up bringing him home that day—2 o’clock in the afternoon—and made love taking advantage of the empty apartment floor, as every neighbor was out at work or somewhere else, busying themselves.
After that first fuck, you both realized that you couldn’t really be a couple—there was sexual chemistry, or at least enough that you tricked yourselves it was good enough, but you both were distant people; Hyunjae was too busy in his career and representative duties, while you were just emotionally unavailable. (Due to being in love with a camboy, but you don’t say that.) So both of you settled on being sexual partners but not real partners, and anyway whenever you meet at school everyone tells you Hyunjae’s perfect for you–and you always laugh it off.
Today, you’d finally agreed to meet for Netflix at his apartment, where you’d never been to. At this point you trusted Hyunjae enough to visit him at his home, even if he shared it with roommates.
Expecting getting fucked that evening, you wear a little skirt, safety shorts that he could just pull down to your ankles and fuck you, legs either wrapped around him or over his shoulders. You shudder in anticipation just thinking about all the ways Hyunjae was going to handle you.
.
“The girl I’m seeing is coming over, I need you guys to sit in and watch the movie with us,” Hyunjae told his brothers.
Sunwoo immediately broke into a whine, while Juyeon widened his eyes, sort of shocked. “Even me?”
“There’s only two of you!” Hyunjae says. “I just need you guys to shut up, sit, and then keep shutting up when the movie’s over.”
When you get there, Sunwoo’s the one that opens the door. You already know each other, being that he’s the captain of the uni football team and there weren’t many people that didn’t know him. Awkwardly, you greet him by name and ask him how he is. Hyunjae was soon rushing out to the door for you.
The smell of butter and caramel slowly floats from the kitchen, and out comes a boy, carrying a giant bowl of popcorn that could fit Lake Eerie. “Here!” he says. “We’re ready.”
You do a double take as you meet him—you didn’t think there would be a way the third roommate is just as hot, or maybe even hotter, than Hyunjae and his brother. And yet… there this cat-eyed protagonist was.
You go over to the boy and try to introduce yourself, but Hyunjae cuts in for you before you open your mouth: “this is Y/n! Her granddad is the statue in front of the east gate, if you didn’t know.”
“Oh.” Juyeon gave you a smile, waving his hand with the popcorn in it.
“Third roommate?” you asked Hyunjae.
“No, no, they’re both my brothers—Juyeon is my step brother.”
Juyo? You realize later that it’s actually Juyeon, and smile to yourself, at the pure coincidence of Hyunjae’s brother having a similar name to your camboy.
Sunwoo’s already turned the big TV on, and picks the movie you wanted to watch. He’s sitting in the middle of the couch, mindlessly separating everybody, so the distribution’s weird, as you sit on Sunwoo’s side and Hyunjae on the other. Juyeon takes a seat on the floor, which you feel bad for, so you slide down after a while to sit with him.
He’s surprised. “You’re watching the screen from the side,” he whispered to you, just lowly enough that no one heard. “It’ll ruin your eyes.”
First full sentence that he spoke to you, and…
You feel a blush rising to your cheeks. It sounds just like Juyo. Like, the tone and indentations. And the voice itself. You know people can have similar voices, of course, so you’re not accusing your boyfriend’s brother of being a camboy, but it’s just… you swore if you ever found a voice-sound-alike to Juyo, you’d marry them on the spot. And here this guy was.
You shy away from Juyeon, heart beating too fast in your chest. You look away from him, trying to still your breathing.
He’s… just shy enough it resembles your camboy. And the voice—but you’re not about to convince yourself Juyo was sitting beside you, the odds of that are just… impossible.
And yet, you found yourself turned on, an insatiable hunger growing in your core, as you realized how similar Juyeon and Juyo were. You thought passively about his cock—do you think it’s just as big as Juyo’s—and suddenly zap yourself back from those though.
Fuck, Y/n. Control yourself, you don’t even know this guy. Do not think about his dick.
About two thirds into the movie, Sunwoo’s asleep with his neck bending down on the armrest of the couch, and Juyeon mindlessly fiddles with the carpet. You look over at Hyunjae, who sends you a signal with a flash of his eyes, and soon you’re walking into his room, leaving the two brothers at the TV.
Hyunjae’s room is big. It’s the master bedroom of the apartment, and the walls are lined with shelves full of law textbooks, all of them well worn out and often pulled out of their shelves. Hyunjae’s been in your room before, but you’ve never been in his.
The way you’re in a space so sacred and private to him gladdens you, and you kiss him against the wall, while he kicks the door closed with one foot. “Fuck,” he moaned into your mouth. When you pull away, he’s looking at you, pupils shaking.
You hadn’t been together in a while.
“You haven’t called in weeks,” Hyunjae complains, although not childishly. He looks like he’s a husband filing complaints. “I’m not just some side dick you book, you know? At least keep in touch.”
You giggle, and kiss him again. “Sorry.” You pull his shirt over his head—or he did, you don’t remember—and kiss his chest. “Sorry.” You trail kisses down until you’re at his nipple, which you kiss, too. “Sorry…”
Not wasting any time, Hyunjae shoves you backwards into his bed, and unzips your skirt. While he’s below your waist, working you, you couldn’t help but think of Juyo and his giant cock and those hands… those hands that always looked three times the size of yours, you’d always imagined him splitting you open on just two fingers, big enough as four of yours.
Hyunjae kisses you on the lips, tongue swiping across your bottom lip and then in your mouth; you make space for him by opening your legs, and you realize you’re still thinking about Juyo.
You weren’t sure what to call it at this point: addiction? Obsession? Intellectual enslavement? Even now, all you were thinking of was getting your first paycheck and then donating the money into the boy’z coin box. What you felt for that guy was just astronomical.
Hyunjae finally has taken off his pants, discarded somewhere on the floor, and is now inside you, and for the first time since weeks, you’re suddenly not thinking about Juyo.
You moan, straight into Hyunjae’s ears, which gives him an ego boost. He cursed, asking you how much you liked his cock.
“Sooo good,” you moan, just in simple breaths.
“Mmm, tell me how much you like it.”
“So good! Oh, Hyunjae, so—” Suddenly you’re back in your daydreams again, and you don’t even realize it, but you’re imagining Juyo in you, his thick cock entering your little pussy, his pouty lips sucking hickeys on your breasts. Suddenly Hyunjae wasn’t even the guy inside you anymore, it was Juyo, that faceless figure whose cock you could imagine inside you in detail. “Fuck, Juy—”
You stop yourself before you say the full name, making it sound like an incoherent moan. And Hyunjae bought it, too in the moment to realize you had said some streamer’s name.
You gathered yourself as soon as your first orgasm came, and Hyunjae’s good at that—he makes you cum first, before he’s left with his hard-af dick and you choose what to do with it, where he cums. This time, you suck him off, sometimes going slow on it, like you learned from how Juyo teases himself, until Hyunjae’s cursing names out and begging for you to stop teasing.
You’re in bed, the lamp shut off, and blue lights from the neighbor’s apartment streamed into the room. Drowsily, you keep a distance from Hyunjae, knowing it would just blur the line if you cuddled. You keep a pillow between the two of you, and sleep on your side, away from him.
It’s cold, and you realize the air conditioning isn’t working, so you sat up—
You gasp. “Hyunjae! Has the door been open the entire time?”
He wiped the sleep off his eyes as he got up to look. “Huh. I thought I shut it?”
“You must not have gotten it right!”
Hyunjae jumped out of bed to shut it, and jumped back in, in mere seconds. “It’s fine. Well, my brothers got an earful, but they’re just my brothers.”
You hit his arm. “It’s embarrassing for me!”
“Why? You don’t even have to go to family dinner with those two…”
.
In the morning, you take a shower at Hyunjae’s apartment while he makes you breakfast. It’s early in the morning, and Sunwoo’s still sleeping, you could hear his snores even over the sounds of the shower.
Later it’s only you, Hyunjae and Juyeon at the breakfast table, and Juyeon has a hard time meeting your eyes. Hyunjae starts: “so last night—”
“I didn’t hear anything!” Juyeon said so quickly, as soon as Hyunjae mentioned the words ‘last’ and ‘night’. You stare at the pancakes, cringing. So he did hear everything.
Hyunjae doesn’t address it, although he doesn’t shy away from that whole conversation, either. “I need to soundproof my room, too,” he says. “Like yours.”
“Why did you need to soundproof your room?” you asked Juyeon.
“Just… didn’t want to disturb my brothers.”
.
.
.
Hyunjae preferred meeting at your apartment (better water pressure for his showers in the morning, no pesky brothers as roommates, not so crammed in an apartment that you can make as much noise as you like) but you kept insisting you meet at his, just because you felt a little lonely sometimes and it was fun hearing Sunwoo stay up on his video games, or just to have a little companionship knowing there’s people on the other side of the wall.
It was horrible for Juyeon.
He kept as much distance from you as he could, out of respect for Hyunjae, and also for you—ever since he heard you and Jaehyun together that night, he hadn’t been able to look you in the eyes. Or even in the face, because if he even stares for longer than a second, he gets the auditory replays of what he heard… and he starts to wonder what you looked like as you moaned.
See, this is why he’s trying to have respect. Because good guys don’t wonder that about girls, nevermind his brother’s girlfriend. Juyeon beat himself up internally whenever he started thinking about you that way, the dick-hooking-in-pants, unsteady-breathing, jittery way, so he decided to avoid you completely. And yet…
Yet he would have done anything for you to talk to him when you passed by in the kitchen, just a ‘hi’ could have got him so high, he would high-five himself under the table after a successful greeting.
He doesn’t want to call it a crush. That would be fucked up—plus, he thinks he only started to like you after he found out about you, that your father’s the one who built half the buildings in campus, that your parents rented you one of those rich people-penthouses for you to live alone—he started to romanticize your lifestyle, and thought about how it would be nice if you could take him away, from his little room the size of a closet.
Sunwoo let it slip to their mom that Hyunjae knows you—implying that there’s more involvement—and she went ballistic, in a way that made Juyeon feel bad for you. And Hyunjae and everyone involved.
“Well marry her!” their mom said immediately, at of the mention of your name. “I’ve seen her family on the cover of every magazine. Multiple times.”
Hyunjae brushed it off, shaking his head. “We’re not even that serious.”
“She’s not serious about you?” the mom scoffed. “Get her pregnant.”
“Mom! What the fuck?”
She turned to Sunwoo. “Well if he won’t do it then you—”
“I’m a bachelor!” Sunwoo groaned, grabbing his phone and dinner plate off the table. “I’ll eat in my room, thank you very much.”
Juyeon simply ate his food with the occasional clearing of his throat, to combat the awkward situation. Hyunjae is mortified that their mom would ever suggest something so vile, and unfitting for him. Blood boiling at the mere suggestion.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that mom wants what’s best for my two sons,” she finally apologized. “It would be nice if either of you could marry into a family like that…”
“There’s Juyeon,” Hyunjae finally said.
“Juy—” Mrs. Lee shook her head, sighing. “No, no… not Juyeon.” Meaning that he didn’t count, not as family and not as a son.
.
.
.
“Which room is Juyeon’s, even?” you asked Hyunjae one day, on your third or fourth visit to the apartment. “I thought him and Sunwoo roomed together, but I just saw that Sunwoo's is a single.”
Hyunjae nodded to the little storage-closet-sized room behind the two bedrooms, and you gasp. “Someone can’t live in there!” You slapped his arm. “You’re kidding me.”
Hyunjae just laughs it off, not arguing with you, but later in the morning, when you got curious where Juyeon’s room was, you wandered into the tiny little room. As said, there was a real one-person room in there, even though the bed got in the way of the door and didn’t close properly, and the entire thing was so crammed.
It’s also dark, as there’s no window installed in there, so you flip the switch, just to see, curious. And when the lights turn on—you’re open-mouthed in realization.
Oh my god.
O h my god, oh my god oh my—
You reach for the patterned cotton sheets of the bed, feeling a shiver come over you. Then you look at the chair, although you don’t go so far into the room to touch it. The ring light behind the computer. The bed, the chair.
This is Juyo’s streaming room.
Juyeon’s streaming room.
Holy shit. You’re about to scream or just… combust, thinking about all the times you’d seen the sheets on the bed and imagined Juyo pinning you down on the mattress and dicking you down until you’re crying and begging for more, Juyo, just Juyo—his mouth on you, his pretty giant cock—
But it’s not Juyo, anymore. It’s Juyeon. The image of Juyeon set itself in your mind’s eye, a fitting piece of the puzzle to what he always cropped out. You feel a shiver coming over you, you were literally in Juyo’s lair.
“Hey… what are you doing here?” came Juyeon’s voice from behind you.
You turn around, and he’s standing there looking all confused, lips tight in a frown. You’d seen those lips a hundred times before, why didn’t you recognize him?!
“I–I—” You cleared your throat, trying to gain composition. “I just wanted to know what this room was!” Which was actually the truth. “Wow, it’s… smaller than I remember!”
Juyeon questions you with a lift of his eyebrows, and you backpedal:
“Than I thought it’d be, I mean.” You laughed, just to appease him. “But it’s a nice room, either way, I love what you've done with the… space.”
“Thanks…” Juyeon smiled. Fuck, he smiled. Half hearted and not meaning it, but it was bright nevertheless. You’re watching your camboy, in the flesh, right in front of you.
You’re gawking at him, all the videos you’ve seen of him teasing himself and touching his cock flashing past your eyes. Juyeon contains the awkwardness with a shrug. “So, did you need something—”
“I wanted to ask you!” you blurt out. You came across a horrible, nasty, this-just-might-work idea. Just in your head.
Juyeon nodded, signaling for you to go on.
“Do you want an internship at my dad’s company?” you ask. “I mean, I heard about what you’re studying, and I thought it’d be a good experience, for your resumè, and—” Juyeon’s look towards you was outlandish, like what is she saying? “We pay our interns! Good enough, higher than minimum wage–plus, it’d be easy, because… I’d be your boss.”
You realize that Juyeon’s look wasn’t because he was thinking you’re weird, but because he’s just so surprised you’d ask him that out of the blue. Juyeon gets easier to read with every furrowed brow and pursed lips. “You… you’re really offering me a job?”
You nodded, looking straight at his face, but you’re just examining every feature of his body, wondering why the hell you missed it. Juyeon is Juyo.
“Why me?” Juyeon was wondering.
“I just—you’re Hyunjae’s brother, and… you look… like you’d fit the job.”
Juyeon’s excited. He’d never thought he’d ever work with such a big company like yours, even though he’d daydreamed about it.
“Can I really?” he asked for confirmation, and you slowly brought your hand to grip his arm, trying to give it a squeeze for reassurance but also just wanting to touch him, your boy, you literally found him—your wildest dream—and you can’t even tell him, or anyone.
“Just tell me which hours you have free.”
Later that day, you drive back home, calling your father with the same fussy voice that wins him over all the time. “Daddy,” you whined into the phone. “I’m bringing this guy as an intern in. Can he start Tuesday?”
.
.
.
His first day of work and he’s expecting himself to fuck up, but once he sees your face in the office, beyond the glass window that separates your private room, he relaxes a little. You told him it’d be okay—you’re the one he’s working for, after all.
It fills him with confidence, and he figured out being an intern was just what he did at home: chores, service to people that do nothing for him, being nice with a smile—but also with the job experience. There were also computer stuff and filing things that he slowly learnt, which he’s thankful for. Every time he learns something new, he thinks about you, working away at your desk in your office, a bright smile that always lights up for him. His little cheerleader, who didn’t even need say anything to get him so energetic.
He makes the coffee runs for the office with another intern, but mostly he’s the one that memorizes the orders. Soon he’s back in the elevator with the cups in his hands, and he’s most excited about giving it to you, reciting your coffee order in his head and thinking about the way you’ll smile when he presents it to you.
He comes into your office baring the cup in his hand, lips pursed so he doesn’t accidentally end up smiling. “Here’s your coffee.”
Like he expected, you smile, which affects him in strange ways, making his breath hitch in his chest. He almost wants to stay to watch you drink what he brought, but he quickly leaves, having learnt from his stepmom that once the job’s done he should stop bothering them.
You observe Juyeon from your desk, and he goes around the office making paper runs and helping out in inconveniences, but so cautiously… The whole point of having him working with you was that he would be close, you’d get to know him in real life, not the camboy persona.
But Juyeon exceeds your expectations—he’s better than his online personality, even, and you’re starstruck, because you can’t find a single thing you dislike about him.
“Juyeon?” You came out of your office to talk to him, alerting him with one hand over his shoulder. “Where’s your coffee?”
“I don’t…” he just toys with his hands. “I didn’t want to buy one.”
You know he mentions often in his streams that he’s saving up all the money from camming to move out, and you realize he didn’t want to waste a single cent of his internship money, either. You fish out a $20 note from your coat pocket, handing it to him. “Here. So you can spare more for your coffees.” But part of you knew he still wouldn’t spend it.
Juyeon is surprised that people at work actually like him. The superiors immediately take a liking to him, saying he ‘works better than half the permanently employed staff’. He gets bashful, but he just takes the compliments.
“Y/n found you, huh!” one of the executive managers say, as he approached you two, while you were teaching him the way of the office files. “You did find one outstanding young man, here, Y/n—this boy works hard!”
“Juyeon helps out so much at home,” you told the manager. “He’s always so helpful…”
“What a good boy!” The older man grinned, patting Juyeon on the back. “Keep this up, and we might employ you after the internship.”
“Really?” Juyeon beamed. He caught you in a side glance, and you looked… proud. Of him. He’d never felt like this before, to have someone be so nice and so kind to him, and be happy on his behalf… “Thank you,” he told you privately later, when the manager’s out of earshot.
“For what?” To be honest, it was killing you trying to pretend that you haven’t cum to him about a hundred times before, and also that you didn’t know what his orgasm face looked like. It’s impossible. But all those images didn’t show on your face, you simply returned Juyeon’s smiles innocently.
“For giving me a chance,” Juyeon explained. “It means so much to me, Y/n, no one… no one’s ever been this nice to me before.”
.
.
.
Juyeon sighed into the oppressive air of his room as he pressed the button that makes him go live.
He wasn’t exactly in the mood for it, he’d rather be fucking his hand, thinking about you—but when he’s this pent up, it’s always a good idea to film. Except he doesn’t think he can stay long and talk a lot today, he just wants to stream, get it over with, cum, and be done.
People start rolling in, and he just watched, dead-eyed. Not even reading the chat. Mindlessly, he pulls himself out of his cotton pajama pants and boxers—not before he starts getting comments about how the pants make him look so boy-next-door—and checks his own cock out on the screen. “Hi,” he spoke, finally. Comments flashed by. “I… I need to cum, fast…” On the laptop screen, he watched as his hands wrapped around his dick, and contemplated on what to do next.
He could give his fans the same, teasing, in-control show. But right now all he wanted was to imagine being under you, having you ride him, tell him all the sweet things you usually do—except he would be feeling your pussy all around him… he just wanted to fuck his hand and pretend it’s you, then go to bed. That’s all that sounds good to him.
But before it gets so intense, he checks the chat.
Theclover: need ur fat cock daddy
Juyeon chuckled. “Oh, yeah, my big, fat cock… can you imagine it in your mouth? Is that what you want?” He threw his head back while touching himself, just to get himself harder. Thinking about you. First just about the way you smiled at him at the office, but secondly about the way you sounded when getting railed by Hyunjae. It’s sick. He’s imagining it’s him instead—as fucked up as that is. But it still got him super hard. “Do you want it choking you? If you can feel it in your throat—” He had to stop for a moment to grit his teeth, trying to shake the thoughts of you away. “I might want you too much, though. I might just fuck your throat… not letting you breathe… You’re not allowed to until you’ve swallowed all of my cum.”
The chat fills with requests to please fuck their throats and also breed them, and the tips rolled in one after one—which usually he’d thank, but he’s too preoccupied. The thought of you won’t leave.
Y/n smiled at me, he thought to himself as he kept stroking his cock. He can feel all the sparks in his neurons and the need to cum rising in him, more specifically to cum inside of you. Once again he imagined you riding him, he can perfectly imagine the roll of your hips on his cock, your moans which he easily took from mere hearing and transformed them to be for him, in his imagination—
“Y/n,” he moaned. It just slipped out of his mouth, and he tried to pass it off as an incoherent moan, but it had been your name, for sure.
And it gets him even more turned on, that he’s just so in the moment now, nothing stopping him. Your hips. Your hands. Touching him. Pretty little fingers, wrapping around his neck, restricting his breathing—although it was just a pretense, although you could never hurt him, you’re just so sweet.
“Y/n, fuck,” he says breathily. “Fuck, fuck—you’re so—so nice to me—you’re just—fuck, princess…” He’s sure they heard that, that he must be thinking about someone specific, and soon enough the comments want to know who.
Juyoxme: what name did he just say? O.o
Jumpinthelove: Juyo has a crushhhhh
He can’t pay attention to any of the comments, too caught up in the moment. In the habit of edging himself, he won’t let him cum, not until he has a vivid image of you. He imagines your body again, your breasts, how his two hands could just wrap around your little neck, how he would leave clawmarks on your skin, no matter how much he hated ruining something as perfect as you.
But finally when he cums, it’s to the image of you smiling, the real one in his memory. He hissed a curse. “Tell me how much you want it, you want my cum—ah, fuck…”
When he opens his eyes in clarity, the chat is going wild. He doesn’t even want to know what they’re saying, he just wants to go to bed. So he reaches over and tries to shut the live. “I think I gotta go, bye—”
“You want me to stay?” Juyeon says with a pout. “I can’t… I’m tired. I just… I just want to sleep. You guys can pretend I’m cuddling you, if you want.” he pulled one of the longer pillows he had, and hugged it to his chest, patting it like he was patting someone’s back. “Like this,” he says softly. “Imagine I’m cuddling you, okay?”
.
You breathed slowly, trying not to let your breath hitch, as if Juyeon could see you from inside your screen. You’re watching the stream from your living room, just out of habit because you never miss his Friday night streams–but you couldn’t get off to it, now that you knew the person behind the screen…
But now you’re watching the replay of the stream as you tried to collect yourself.
That was definitely your name he said. No one would be able to recognize it over the breathiness and the way he turned it into a full moan, but you did. You check the chat, and they get close to figuring out the name, figuring out what he said, but none of them really know the full extent of it.
The full extent to how he wants you.
So… your camboy crush wants you. And you know who he is. How do you tell him you want him back?
.
.
.
Tuesday, and Juyeon’s at work earlier than you. You feel the need to kick yourself when you walk past him without smiling, but hope that he just brushed it off and assume you were too preoccupied, not thinking there’s something wrong with him. You don’t even know what to say, because you want him, fuck, you wanted him, and he wants you too so why were you waiting?
Juyeon delivers the office’s coffees diligently, and you calculate your moves, shutting the blinds of the window to your room as soon as he’s in sight. Then, you wait as he makes his rounds around the office.
Your heart is beating out of your chest. You press a nail against your palm, trying to hold everything you’re feeling in, and there he is, past the door, shutting it behind him: “here’s yours, y/n!”
He can’t meet your eyes, which is typical for someone who’s literally been masturbating to you. You grab the coffee and ask him to stay, and in the lack of light from the closed window, he seemed a little lost. “Uh, why…”
You set the coffee down on the table. He’s sitting on the chair opposite your desk, and as you walk closer and closer towards him, he rolls the chair backwards, until he’s sandwiched between you and the wall.
He just stares up at you with wide eyes, and you can tell what he’s thinking: can people smell when you’ve masturbated to them?
“Juyeon,” you called.
“Y—” You kissed him. As soon as he realizes what’s happening, he pulls away, standing up. He pushes you away by grabbing your shoulders, simply resituating you far away from him. “What are you doing?” he demanded, as if he didn’t want you just as much.
Whatever you say you’re going to embarrass yourself, so you tell the truth: “I wanna fuck you.” Which is just the tip of the iceberg of truth, but…
“I just thought—” Juyeon stuttered out, “Hyunjae-hyung…?”
“I thought he told you,” you say, “we’re not serious.”
“He did, but… but it’s just—not right. I’m his brother. I can’t steal—”
“I’m not an object to be stolen,” you object.
He gathers himself, racking his brains for excuses. “Y/n, I just… I just…”
You’re confused, if he doesn’t want you why did he fuck himself saying your name all over the internet? And if he’s literally fucking himself to you then why doesn’t he want you the way you want him? “Juyeon,” you say, “You really don’t want to fuck me?”
He faltered. But he finally meets your eyes, with a new kind of determination in them. “No,” he says. “No, you’re—you’re so nice to me, and I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness—”
“You do realize in this scenario, I’m the one taking advantage of you?”
“Listen, Y/n, there’s… things you don’t know about me,” he finally admits, vaguely alluding to the facts. “There’s things I’m not proud of. I don’t like so many things about myself, it’s so complicated, and we just—we can’t. I don’t want another thing I’m not proud of.”
He wouldn’t be proud of fucking you? You sigh, clicking the button that raises the blinds, and push him away with one finger, and he falls through your gentle push like he’s crumbling. “I’m sorry,” he says finally.
You look at him with hooded eyes. “For what? I’m the one that’s sorry, I basically harassed you—”
“I don’t see it that way–it’s fine. I knew you from before working here, anyway.” He offered you a sheepish smile. “Can we just keep being friends? Like you and Hyunjae-hyung—I mean, like, without the…” he trailed off, then cleared his throat. He craned his neck over the glass window, looking at the rest of the office. “Um, they might need me.” And you watched him disappear into the crowd of the people in the office, going to lunch time in the cafeteria.
.
.
.
You don’t realize that he’s actually ashamed of what he does, or at least seems to be, until it’s the next Friday night and it’s time to stream again. Juyeon was proud of his channel, yes, but at the same time when it came to someone he found to be so perfect like you… he couldn’t admit it, or imagine himself with you—his lifestyle was just fucked.
So you watch his stream with a certain melancholia, just to see what he’s up to—it’s a habit to tune into his channel every Friday, even if you weren’t in the mood to masturbate.
“Hi guys… oh, ‘daddy’? Straight away? Am I daddy tonight?” Tonight he’s lighthearted and sweet—he’s been having a good streak at work, everyone loves him, he’s actually proud of himself. “Let’s talk for a bit while we wait for the others.”
The chat fills in with comment after comment talking about different things. Juyeon tries to reply to most of it.
“‘Juyo I’m lonely,’” he read from the comments, “aww, I get lonely sometimes, too—I miss my parents. But I don’t know, learning to live alone is just…” He made a ‘pop’ sound with his tongue. “You learn to live… ‘what else does that tongue do’? Well…”
Suddenly the chat is talking about his last stream, about the crush he fucked himself to. Juyeon gets shy as he reads the comments. At first he tries to deny it, but later he slips into telling the truth. “Ehhh, what are you talking about? I don’t have a crush!” turns into “I just like them so much because they’re so sweet to me…”
Comment after comment filled up asking about the crush, and he’s trying to avoid it all… but you suddenly get another nasty idea. A question. And you knew you had to make sure he sees it, so you tap at the tipping bar. And suddenly your name is flashing on screen.
Juy0sprincess [tipped $20]: what if that crush found out about your channel?
Juy0sprincess [tipped $30]: what would you feel?
Juyeon’s expression turned sour. “Of course, I don’t even want to think about that! They’re just so… kind, and beautiful and…” he sighed, looking the camera in the eye of its lens, and it’s like he’s looking straight into your own. “They would never understand why I do something like this.”
Leaving the stream running on your laptop, you grabbed your phone and drafted texts to Juyeon.
Hey Ju it’s Y/n
Um, actually can we talk
I have something to say
You delete everything once you’re about a good half into the sentence, never knowing what the right thing to say to him was. You didn’t want to embarrass him with the revelation that you knew what he did. There was no natural way to break it, you concluded, and decided to not mention it to him, at least for now.
And yet, your hands itched just wanting to text him. Wanting to build something between the two of you, more than friends, more than what you had with Hyunjae—you didn’t find what Juyeon did shameful or bad at all. You never saw him that way; instead… you saw him as a friend, even before you knew him—he was the only person that gave your lonely life a little light.
.
.
.
The side of Sunwoo’s heel met the ball, and it flew overhead, over the blockages and into the net. There were cheers from his teammates around him, but his attention immediately landed on the girls watching him from the bleachers. “Taking five, guys,” he told them, as he jogged over to the girls.
Sunwoo knew them well enough—well, he knew their names. Each of the names. Just didn’t know which name was whose. So he sits with the girls, sweating—usually they come prepared, with Starbucks in their laps, and offer it to him, but today, they’re giggling over their phones. Sunwoo doesn’t even pay attention until they call him.
“Sunwooooo. This is that stepbrother of yours, isn’t it?”
His eyes snapped to the screen, where the smut hadn’t started—it was just a video of a guy, camera panning just up to his lips, but it was obvious what kind of site it was, and what he was going to do.
“He jerks off into a camera,” says another girl, “for money. It’s—it’s him, isn’t it, Sunwoo?”
“I thought I recognized his voice,” says the third girl of the group.
Speechless, Sunwoo takes the phone from them, examining the visuals of the camboy. Normally he wouldn’t even be able to tell, but…
Those lips, that pout. The dark shrouded room, but he knew it well enough to match it to the one back home. It’s obviously Juyeon.
But he denies it. “Don’t think it is,” he snapped. “Just don’t go around sharing it everywhere—you have no proof.” He ran back into the field, desperate to escape the scrutiny and the stares. But once he’s back on the training ground, he misses all the shots he takes.
.
.
Hyunjae’s not home. The house is completely silent, but Sunwoo knows Juyeon didn’t have his internship on Fridays, and although his room was quiet, it was only because of all the soundproofing.
Sick bastard, he snarled to himself. He should have known from the urgent need to soundproof—since when had his brother been doing this?
He barged into the room, where Juyeon was just lying on the bed on his phone. “Getting yourself off?!” he says demandingly, and Juyeon looks up, surprised. “What–”
“You’re making yourself a career camming,” Sunwoo accused. “Don’t fucking say no—I saw your room, idiot!”
“No, it’s—” Juyeon stumbled around on his words, panic setting all over his head. “It’s a misunderstanding,” he insisted.
“Do you know how embarrassing it is, that I have to play in front of everyone in a stadium and half of them know what my brother is?” Sunwoo sneered at his face, and Juyeon crumbled underneath the boy’s stern eyes.
“I—” he starts to speak. “I’m sorry.” He did try his best to not show his face, not let it leak—it affected him more than anybody else, of course he didn’t want it.
Sunwoo sighed. “This is fucked.”
Juyeon quickly pulled out his phone and checked the website, where he saw a few comments, doxxing him: that’s Lee Juyeon, he goes to SNU. He immediately deleted the comment off the site, but didn’t know how to handle more.
“What are you going to do if mom finds out?” Sunwoo probed. “Or Hyunjae.”
“They can’t!” Juyeon suddenly grew desperate to get out of this situation. If only he could turn back time and stop people from finding him…
“How much do you make?” Sunwoo started to ask, which Juyeon didn’t hear.
Sunwoo sighed, as if trying to be patient. Then, he says: “give me some of your money.”
Juyeon suddenly turned to his youngest brother. “What?!”
“You make a shit ton camming, don’t you? I’ve watched enough girls to know you do.”
“I don’t—” Juyeon stuttered, but no sound came out.
“Just give me a share,” Sunwoo demanded. “Or mom and Hyunjae finds out, I swear.”
Juyeon felt defeated, but he slowly reached for his wallet, where he had taken out a good amount of his balance, just for him to spend for the month. “Is… 400 okay?”
Sunwoo laughed. “More than okay! You got more, though?”
Juyeon showed him the emptiness of the bottom of his wallet, but Sunwoo was unsatisfied. “You gotta have more. What is it, online banking? Show my cashapp some love.”
“Sun—”
“I’ll tell mom,” Sunwoo says, a threat this time. “Can you imagine if she found out? She’d disown you. Kick you out of this apartment. Where would you go then, Cinderella boy?”
Juyeon just looked forlornly at the balance of his online bank, and Sunwoo snatched the phone from the older boy himself, and transferred it away into his own.
Juyeon tried to protest, but couldn’t fathom anything coherent. He was fucked this way, anyway.
“Tell me when you stream again,” Sunwoo says as he snaps Juyeon’s phone shut. “I want a share, too.” Then he was out the door, which Juyeon didn’t notice until he heard the slam of it.
He just sat on his bed for a long time, stuck between a rock and a hard place. He didn’t know what to do for the rest of his streaming career. He couldn’t just keep giving everything he makes to Sunwoo.
But if people found out, he would lose his job working for you, and that would hurt the most—disappointing you and losing you, not getting to see you weekly…
Fishing in his pockets, Juyeon found the money you had given him for coffee. He didn’t buy one when you offered it to him, because he wanted to keep the bill. And frame it. No one’s ever been so nice to him before…
He lay on his bed, the note in his palm, and reached out to cup it in his hands every now and then, to remind himself that there was still some good in the world. With Sunwoo taking his money, he was furthest away from his dream of moving out than ever. Before he knew it, he was crying. He hated feeling not good enough for you, he hated that he was so vulnerable, never having the upper hand, always having to listen to what other people demanded of him, like he didn’t even have a mind of his own.
Juyeon pulls out his phone a second time, and, in lightning-fast clicks, deletes his channel, quickly typing in his password to confirm. And then he was out.
Juyo wasn’t there anymore.
~
Tell me what you want to see in part 2 maybe? <33333 thanks for reading I thank you from the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the bottom. Of my. liver.
#the boyz imagines#the boyz x reader#tbz fic#tbz imagines#juyeon x reader#juyeon smut#juyeon imagines#juyeon scenarios#juyeon angst
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Bet U Wanna (Lee Juyeon)
Inspired by Bet U Wanna by Sabrina Carpenter 👍
Warnings: ex 2 lovers, Juyeon is a bit toxic in the starting but he realises that later 👍, kissing, mention of alcohol, a bit of angst, fluff, happy ending hehe
Word count: 2765
|| I'd recommend listening to Bet u wanna by Sabrina Carpenter when reading 👹. It will get you in the feels lol ||
|| A special thanks to @winterchimez for helping me while I wrote this 😭. If not for Ally I would have quite literally just left it as it was because of the fact that I am not at all confident in writing these things lol. Also thanks to @o-onikix for reassuring me all the time telling me that my writing is good when I needed to hear it the most 🤧. If not for Nara I would I have left Tumblr the moment I started losing hope in myself. Love you guys a tons 💗||
🎵Told me, told me I'm your only🎵
Staring off into space, you remember when you and Juyeon sat on this very couch as he told you about his day. You reminisce back then how he said that you were the only one for him—how this whole relationship felt right, and how he was convinced that it just felt so right for him. Being absolutely head over heels for him, you obviously believed everything he said without questioning it.
Only now did you realise that all he said was just a lie. The way all of the events before this were unfolding now, this relationship did not matter to him as much as it did to you. He really must have thought that the relationship you both had was such a waste of time.
"Y/N?? Are you there?? Hello?" You flinched hard when someone pinched you on your arm. Slapping the arm away harshly, you rubbed the part where it hurt.
"What?" You asked rather harshly your friend, Olivia.
"Still thinking about him?" She asked with concern. She took your hands in hers, and rubbed them comfortingly. "Come on. Cheer up. Juyeon does not deserve your attention. You know it." She trailed off.
You looked at the corner of the classroom where Juyeon was. He was alone, and none of his friends were there. You couldn’t help but feel bad for him as you knew how much he hated being alone—he had always dreaded emptiness.
Turning your attention back to Olivia, you decided to speak up.
"But...look at him. Even he looks miserable..." You were now staring at his lone figure. He still looked like he was alright when you were probably going through the worst times of your life. And you hated that. You hated everything that involved him, yet you longed for him. How his touch always lingered on your skin, and how you missed him. Yet, you couldn’t help but also loath him with all your heart, especially with how badly he has treated you since the beginning of your relationship.
"Y/N. He has never thought twice before letting you down. You have to agree with me. He was an asshole while you were dating him. Yes, he's a great friend, but as a boyfriend, he is not. He literally misused you just to hang out and be around his useless friends. It wasn’t just a one-time thing, it was way more than that."
Honestly, you couldn’t blame Olivia for her ramblings because whatever she said was valid and backed up by all of the unhappy memories you’ve had with the man himself and how there’s no actual need for Juyeon to be in your life ever.
However, you just know that he’s the one you need the most in all aspects of your daily life.
—x—
Flashback
It was freezing cold right now as you stood outside the restaurant doors. The cool night breeze makes you shiver occasionally while waiting for Juyeon to arrive.
He was supposed to be here by 8:00 p.m., but it was 10 right now. He was two hours late. You decided to think nothing much of it and waited a little longer. Could there be an emergency? Or he got stuck with some urgent work.
You sighed as you removed your phone from your handbag and redialed Juyeon's number.
*Ring ring-*
"Hello?" A soft voice spoke out, but it was not Juyeon. It was one of his friends.
"Hi, um...could you pass the phone to Juyeon? It's an emergency..." you said in a soft voice. Walking around, you spotted a bench nearby and sat there while waiting for Juyeon to speak.
"Hello.." you heard Juyeon's muffled voice.
"Juyeon...where are you? We were supposed to meet at the restaurant at 8. It’s literally 10 right now..." you say with a gentle voice, but it is clear that you are frustrated
"Shit! Was it today? I am so sorry, Y/N I came over to my friend's house, and I don't think I can make it there in time anymore. Could we possibly reschedule our date?"
You scoffed hearing his words. "Reschedule? Juyeon... you have clearly forgotten about it. How many more times are you going to do this? I am tired of it." You did not even wait for his reply and hung up the phone.
—x—
End of flashback
As much as you were constantly reminded by all of the uneventful situations that Juyeon has always put you in, you knew that the memories and chemistry you had with him were different, something you had never experienced with anyone else before. Frankly, you were pretty satisfied with everything you’ve had with him. If only you could go back in time, you would have ensured that he would have stayed with you, in your arms.
It hurts to see him so close to you yet out of your reach. Gosh, only if your ego was not that huge, you would have just gone towards him and kissed him. His lips always made you go feral, no matter how often you kissed him. How it always comforted you when in need, and how soft his lips were all the time.
Snapping out of your thoughts, you paid attention to Olivia again. She was talking about some upcoming party happening this coming Sunday.
"I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. I am busy." You voice out your thoughts. You saw how Olivia stopped what she was doing to look at you with her eyebrow raised.
"Busy with what exactly? Are you reminiscing about your time with Juyeon? Come on, you can do better than that." She said as she nudged you on your shoulder with her pen.
"Not exactly. Hey, I am not that—" You could not even finish your sentence when you saw the look Olivia had on her face. She knew damn well that you would binge-watch your comfort shows with a tub full of ice cream and cry while thinking about Juyeon. She did not want that. She wanted you to enjoy your life again, just like how you used to. She wanted you to stop thinking about Juyeon for once, pay more attention to your personal life, and socialise more.
"Oh, come on. I’ll let you in on a little secret. Show up to the part all dressed up, hell even put on the most glamorous outfit you own, and make Juyeon jealous. If he sees you in that infamous red dress of yours, I bet he’ll most likely drop whatever he’s doing and make his way towards you and kiss you senselessly. I am convinced that he’d give up the whole world just to be able to touch you again.”
You sighed as you stared at yourself in the mirror. You did not even know why you tried so hard to get Juyeon's attention. He did not even care about you.
His world was way too different from yours. He was on the other side, far away from your reach. His kind of people surrounded him, ones who were way out of your league.
"Y/N!! Are you done!?" You heard Olivia's voice shouting for you. Taking your things, you exited your room to see her on her phone.
Upon hearing your footsteps, she looked up only to have her jaw drop as she looked at you from head to toe.
"Are you really the same person who was planning on crying today? Because...how?" Her voice sounded so genuine that you were confident enough to make Juyeon jealous just by seeing you. But at the back of your head, you asked yourself again once more.
Why are you even doing this? Are you just getting your hopes to high? What if Juyeon really does not care about you? What if he had already moved on? Unlike you, who was still stuck in the past.
"Stop daydreaming, and let's go. You're gonna have so much fun! And I cannot wait to see Juyeon's face when he sees you!" You rolled your eyes when she said that.
Entering the place where the party was held, you hated yourself as your only thought was to look for Juyeon amidst the crowd.
It didn’t take long for you to land your eyes on the person you were on so desperately looking for but what you saw made you freeze on your spot. You saw Juyeon kissing a random girl. She was pretty, and for some reason, you felt so disappointed. It's not like you both were in a relationship. You had no control over who he was with—who he was touching and kissing. Even he had no control over who you kissed or slept with. So why?
You freed yourself from Olivia's grip and immediately went towards the kitchen where all the alcohol was kept.
Picking up what you guessed was the strongest of them all, you poured yourself a glass. Looking around the room while taking slow sips of the drink, you took the whole sight in.
The room was packed, even suffocating. But that was none of your concern right now. You just wanted to kiss someone, get your mind off of Juyeon for once in the last few weeks and not think about his pretty face, which would always make your day better.
How his small gestures would always comfort you no matter what—how your heart and stomach would literally do somersaults whenever he was close to you, and even to feel a spark between you two.
Maybe it was just you who felt it.
You then noticed a figure approaching you from the corner of your eye.
"What are you doing here all alone? Where is your friend?" Sunwoo asked when he came in front of you.
You were familiar with him. He was acquainted with a couple of your friends. You never really got to talk with him one-on-one like this. Perhaps coming here tonight could make you socialise again.
"I just wanted some alone time, that's it. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your friends?" You asked.
"What? I could not hear you! The music is too loud!" Sunwoo shouted at the top of his lungs, trying to clarify his words.
"Shouldn't you be with your friends right now!" You shouted back. Sunwoo reluctantly leaned down to hear you more clearly.
His face was so close to yours. His perfect plump lips were coming so close to yours, and how they were parted apart from each other. Your eyes travelled across his entire face, taking in his perfect nose. His big eyes were now staring into yours.
Both of you were leaning forward slowly, noses touching each other, and both of your breaths fanning against each other. You saw Juyeon staring in your direction from the corner of your eyes.
Wasting no time, you attached your lips to Sunwoo's. The kiss was slow, sensual at the very least. It was completely different from when you used to kiss Juyeon. However, you felt nothing when you kissed Sunwoo. There were no feelings. It was just two people kissing each other, and there was no spark. You did not feel yourself getting giddy like you would always do when with Juyeon.
—x—
Juyeon’s POV
I was sitting on the couch with a drink in my hand. All of my friends were gone somewhere, probably getting high or something. As I looked around, my eyes fell on a figure not so far from me.
Squinting my eyes, I came to realise that it was Y/N.
My eyes travelled all over her body. She was wearing a red dress—how it hugged her body perfectly was driving me insane, and how her hair was perfectly falling over her shoulders. Her pretty smile made her stand out from the crowd. All I ever want is to go over to her, grab her, and kiss her senselessly.
I was dying to touch her, hold her again in my arms. Without her beside me, it felt so cold and empty. I hated and regretted the way I left her in the past. I noticed how her eyes were not shining like before. They were not as bright as before—they looked dull, or rather, she looked dull. It was as if she had no life left in her anymore. It hurts to see her like this—knowing I might be the reason behind this hurts. I just wanted to go over to her and keep her in my arms where it would be warm.
When I returned to my senses, I saw that Y/N was no longer alone. She was talking with a guy. Oh, how I wish I were there instead of him. How I wish she were talking with me instead of him.
Seeing him so close to her—talking, laughing, and even touching her. My hand tightened around the drink in my hand when I saw them so close face to face. Their lips were almost touching.
I saw how Y/N crashed her lips on his—kissing him like she used to kiss me. Seeing her do that to someone else made me feel some things I shouldn’t. It's like...I did not want anyone close to her but me, but then again, I was also the reason our relationship broke off.
I immediately stood up when I saw that guy grabbing her hand. Taking big steps towards them, I pushed the guy away and dragged Y/N with me outside.
It was quiet between us. None of us spoke a word until I finally mustered up the courage to speak up.
"Who was that?"
"Just a friend." She replied softly. God, how much I missed that soft voice of hers. I stared at her with so many emotions in my eyes. I wanted to let her know that life without her beside was pointless— I wanted to tell her about how much I missed staring into those eyes while we both talked about our day and laughed at silly things.
"You don't kiss a friend." I replied, trying not to show how affected I was.
"Well, you're not the one to say that." I scoffed at her words.
"I told you! That kiss between that girl I had meant nothing."
"Juyeon, that's not the reason why I broke up with you! Why can’t you understand that!"
She then proceeds to take a step towards me. "You never thought about me when you let me down! You always expected me to act fine the next day when, in fact, I was not! I hated how you always left me like that! And then, you won't even tell me why you did all of that."
She screamed in my face. I noticed how she was starting to breathe heavily. I hugged her, hoping that would calm her down.
"You don't know how much I hate the way I left you. I hate the way I said my goodbye to you. Y/N. Every day, all I can think about is you. Your laugh and the way your eyes always shine when you see me. You don't know how much I missed you the past few weeks. I missed holding you close to me in the comforts of my apartment. I am sorry I made you feel like I did not think about you. I love you so much. I am always reminiscing about our time together. All I wish is to be a better boyfriend and a better version of myself. Can't you just...give me one last chance? I promise I won't let you down." I pulled away from our hug and stared into her eyes. I saw the way her eyes were glistening with tears. I kissed her just below her eyes and tenderly wiped away her small drop of tear.
"One last chance. Don't fuck it up, Lee Juyeon..." I gave out a big smile and smashed my lips on her. I moved my lips along with hers and how our lips perfectly moulded together, kissing in sync. Gasping for air, we both pulled away. I brushed my hand on her hair.
"I bet you missed this." She joked with a smile on her face.
"Oh baby, you don't know how much I missed this." I kissed her again. Entangling my fingers with hers in one hand, the other grabbed her chin and deepened our kiss.
🎵Bet you wanna love me now🎵
I hope it was good enough 🤧. I am still in the phase of exploring new genres and trying to expand my writing skills which don’t revolve around yandere at all.
Tagging: @deoboyznet
#K-pop collab#💌 — emails i can’t send fwd:#Juyeon#juyeon x reader#tbz juyeon#juyeon reactions#juyeon angst#juyeon the boyz#juyeon imagine#the boyz juyeon#juyeon imagines#juyeon scenarios#lee juyeon#the Boyz#TBZ#the boyz imagines#the boyz scenarios#tbz x reader#tbz fluff#Juyeon fluff#ex 2 lovers#tbz imagines#tbz scenarios#the Boyz scenario#the Boyz fluff#the boyz angst#TBZ angst
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𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝(𝐞𝐫)
lee juyeon x fem!reader (only f!reader cuz i used she/her pronouns at the end)
1.1k words, kind of fluff, angst if squinting, barely proofread as usual, pretty much just pining?
Yours and Lee Juyeon's giggles lit up the night, volume just loud enough so that you could hear the other squeal amongst the drumming rain against the street. It was a miracle that Juyeon had parked directly in front of Sangyeon's house, and the two of you practically crashed into your respective sides of the car, rain water everywhere and laughter spilling from your lips as freely as the sky wept.
Juyeon's cheeks ached from the wide smile on his face, and he watched you run your hands through your damp hair. There was a stray lock hanging over your forehead dropping water down your nose, and he reached over to brush it out of the way for you.
You turned to look at him with that glimmer in your eyes, and he suddenly couldn't breathe. Maybe it was the combination of the amber streetlights reflecting through the rainwater dribbling down his front windshield… but god, if he didn't think you looked so beautiful right now.
"I'm glad I parked close to the house," he said, clearing his throat, then shifting around to awkwardly take off his damp denim jacket.
You laughed. "So am I. Jeez, I do not envy Changmin and Chanhee one bit."
"Their fault for coming late," Juyeon snickered. He sighed and crafted a hand through his wet hair, staring out the front windshield. "Wah, that's a lot of rain." He needed to be careful—not that he wasn't already careful whenever he drove you, but he wanted to get you home safe and sound as always.
You nodded in agreement, leaning back in your seat while licking your lips. "Yeah, but I think we needed it after that hell of a dry season."
Juyeon felt for his keys in his pants pockets before realizing that he kept them in his jacket. He twisted around to retrieve his jacket from where he had tossed it in the backseat. "Sorry, we'll head out soon. Just dunno where I put my keys."
"No worries, Juyo. Take your time."
He fumbled around blindly before he hooked his hand in one of the inside pockets and withdrew his key ring. There were a couple important keys chained there, as well as an acrylic keychain frame of one of yours and his photos. It was cute—one of those pieces of old film from a camera you had dug out of your house's attic. You'd also found pieces of film of your parents; they had been young in those photos, just around the age that you and Juyeon were now.
Juyeon tried not to think about that too much.
He settled in his seat, front two teeth nibbling on his bottom lip as he stuck the car key into the ignition and started up the car. You both reached for your own seatbelts in unison, and Juyeon's hand went toward the front console. "Hey, you cold?"
On cue, you shivered just a bit, giving him a slight nod. "Yeah, just a little bit of heat, please."
"You got it." He didn't want the windows to fog up, so he had to turn on the air conditioning, but he kept it low for your sake, then turned on both of your seat warmers.
Juyeon flicked on the car's headlights and windshield wipers; he watched the black wipers swipe to and fro over the front window. When he was finally satisfied, he put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb.
Your hand reached for the stereo, turning the volume on low.
It was relatively late, even for a Saturday night. Sangyeon lived in a pretty nice neighborhood with his partner, so most of his neighbors were all asleep by this time. Thus, the road out was practically barren, and Juyeon met each traffic light with little to no opposition, rolling past in green-lit glory. He could feel the familiar sensation of drowsiness tugging at the corners of his eyes, but he kept himself awake. He focused on the road, the music, the pounding of his heart. He wondered vaguely what it might be like to reach over and hold your hand—or what it might be like to feel your hand over his where it rested on the center console.
This late into the night, your perfume had slowly melted away, especially after the run through the rain. Yet, he swore he could smell the lingering bits of crisp apple blossom and clementine in the air. Or maybe he was picturing the smile on your face and the damp hair in your eyes and the way you'd looked at him in the dim light—
Juyeon pulled up in front of your apartment complex, slipping into park along the curb. You and he sat there for a while, neither of you saying a word nor addressing the elephant in the car.
You didn't get out of the car, not yet.
He suddenly cleared his throat. "You can—you can wait till the rain dies down a little."
Your head moved slightly. "Right."
"No need to rush," he added quietly, glancing over at you.
You met his eyes in the dark of his car, his headlights switched off, the radio on low, and the rain drumming against the ceiling. "'Course." You tried for a smile. "Did you have fun tonight?"
Flashes of warm laughter, bubbly liquids, friendly faces, that fuzzy feeling in his chest—yes, he'd had a good night. He'd had one hell of a night. "I did. I had a lot of fun tonight," he chuckled. "What about you?"
You replied similarly, "Same here. I think we all needed something like this."
"Yeah. It's been a while, huh?" How much longer? His subconscious seemed to ask. How much longer would he wait? How many more of these nights, these moments, would he allow to pass before telling you exactly how he felt?
The rain seemed to dull down through the course of this brief exchange, and he could read the reluctance in your flickering gaze. You began to gather your things, to gather your wits and strength. The run to the complex door wouldn't be too bad, but it was going to be a run in the rain nonetheless.
Juyeon felt his heart leap into his throat. You can tell her now, he said to himself, you should tell her now. Your hair had dried just slightly by now, leaving it slightly voluminous and soft-looking—and by god, were you beautiful.
Your hand went to the car door, but before you let yourself out, you stopped.
You leaned over the center console and pressed your lips to his cheek, letting yourself linger for a second longer. "Thanks for driving me home, Juyo. Good night."
And before he could even comprehend what had happened, you'd locked yourself out into the heavy downpour and left him alone to his thoughts.
tbz m.list
permanent taglist: @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @honeyhuii @y3jiishot @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @rnjfy @jaehunnyy @kpopjackie @spiderrenjunfics @soobin-chois @mingiholic @ja4hyvn @ethereal-engene
#the boyz x reader#lee juyeon x reader#juyeon x reader#the boyz drabble#the boyz oneshot#the boyz fluff#the boyz imagines#the boyz scenarios#juyeon oneshot#juyeon drabbles#juyeon imagines#juyeon scenarios#juyeon fluff#juyeon angst
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happily | juyeon
bawdyboyz series: tbz as one direction songs
tbz!juyeon x fem!reader
gender: angst at start, fluff.
warnings: mention of alcohol, a slight discussion.
wc: 2758 words.
notes: my first story for juyeon and i dedicate it to my friend natalia. they complement each other in an incredible way and i wanted to bring something a little different than what we always said would be a relationship between the two of them. i hope you like it and, nath, don't kill me. i promise to make more stories about him for you!
✧ m.list ✧
Best friend in high school can mean, most of the time, first love in high school. Between you and Juyeon it would be no different. Best friends, first love for each other, first time in absolutely everything. It was like that until the end of high school where his family had to move to another country. He always said that he hated this instability of his father's job that had taken away a lot of important things from him - you were, without a doubt, one of those things - and Juyeon knew that keeping something away wasn't the same thing as always being close to you.
University. A year and a half without seeing him and not knowing anything else about him. For the anger – and a bit of childishness you later admitted – you felt that he had gone even though the boy wasn't to blame.
Lee Juyeon was back after two years away. He had changed, his hair longer and silkier and fluttering as the wind on campus beat against his face and consequently made the strands look messy. But even so, he was still handsome. And without having come to talk to you. Reason? Park Deokwan, your boyfriend of a few months.
Juyeon felt bile in his throat every time Jacob and Haknyeon talked about Deokwan and how they found you two. Your friends thought Juyeon might have gotten over you, he thought so too, but that's not what his heart said after seeing you at the first frat party after returning to that university.
You were always beautiful to him, you always left him with his heart racing and his eyes shining just at the sight of your body walking through the blinks of light in that room with the most beautiful clothes he had ever seen you wear. But why was Deokwan holding your hand? Why had he kissed you and you smiled at him? Why wasn't Juyeon there? He was hating to think of it that way, even more when you could see how happy you were. One thing he couldn't do.
“Hey man” Jacob carefully pushed his coffee cup towards Juyeon the day after the party “This will ease your hangover.”
“Thanks” Juyeon smiled and thanked him, drinking some of the dark, sugar-free liquid that made him instantly grimace “Really, Cobie?”
“Do you want glucose?” he smiled shyly seeing his friend agree “Or do you want something even stronger so you can forget about y/n?”
Juyeon was grateful for his instinct not to drink when Jacob started talking, or knew he'd have coffee on the table when he spit it out as soon as he heard him finish that sentence.
“Jacob Bae. Bae Joonyoung…”
"Don't call me that" the other guy defended himself "I'm just telling the truth" he shrugged his shoulders "And if it was a lie, you'd be more concerned with denying than scolding me."
Damn little friend shit, he thought as he finished his coffee. And as he faced that semester watching you and Deokwan in a romantic mood, coffee would be little to put up with all that thing he swore he couldn't.
“I can't still love her” Juyeon whimpered one Friday night, sitting on that lounge chair at his frat house listening to Sunwoo play the guitar.
“Anything is possible my friend” Eric raised his beer bottle in an imaginary toast and smiled “Just as there is a possibility that y/n is only with him now to make you jealous.”
"What?" Juyeon practically screamed. At that moment Sunwoo stopped running his fingers on the guitar string and stared at the two who were looking at each other without stopping.
“Eric, don't talk nonsense and don't give him false hope” Sunwoo tried to warn.
A bit of silence as the youngest sipped his beer, chuckling.
“Hey come on” he finished his drink in one gulp, leaning back from the porch frame and walking to the back door “Your relationship is gone, but my friendship with her has remained intact Lee. And you can be sure I know what I'm talking about.”
Eric really knew. He knew you liked Deokwan, but he was never able to fully surrender after Juyeon. Not that you didn't want to, you just couldn't be in someone's arms and thinking about your first – and only – love.
It was like a betrayal.
But Deokwan hadn't bonded with any of that, he barely knew about his past relationship with Juyeon. Just knew that he was from the circle of friends and that he was new to the university, and since Deokwan liked new friends, it was easy to invite Juyeon to almost every meeting and party. Even though you couldn't face him in most of them, but he was there. The cup in his hand and the rogue smile as he talked to everyone until his eyes met yours.
This was language without a single sound that you had to get out of there or something might happen. Something you've tried to hold on to until that moment.
“Y/n” his voice saying your name couldn't make your legs wobble so much. His heart almost popped out of his mouth and his fingers almost broke the cup of the beer bottle as he slowly closed the fridge door.
“Hi” you tried to look nonchalant with the fact that Juyeon was right there in the kitchen with you. Just the two of them at that party when he could be anywhere else.
“How long” not even he knew how to start a conversation, nervousness was evident as Juyeon ran his free hand through his hair in a failed attempt to hold your ground. Without even a sigh when you finally faced him.
"I think, well… I have to go."
“Are you going to stay with Deokwan? Right in front of me?” his footsteps stopped, simply lacking the strength in his legs to continue on his way out of the kitchen. Juyeon didn't know where so much courage came from saying all that.
Maybe it was the conversations with Eric where he assured you that your feelings for Deokwan were gone. You knew so, you just had no idea that your best friend had just told Lee Juyeon.
“What do you mean by that, Juyeon?” your voice was shaky, pure nervousness as your body swiveled to face the boy who hadn't moved a muscle since he walked into that kitchen.
"I wonder if he knows that I touched your skin" the first step toward you had been taken, you at least moved after he took another step. Juyeon didn't smile, eyes fixed on yours "If he knows you don't love him anymore" by now you knew Eric Sohn had his finger on it, knew he was the big culprit for almost all of Juyeon's courage. Just didn't know I'd be grateful for the next steps.
Juyeon's hand touched your face, the icy fingers made your entire skin tingle and eyes quickly closed as the boy brought his face closer. You should walk away, you should run away and say you couldn't do this.
But a completely drunk Jacob appeared there. The noise of cups falling from the kitchen counter made Juyeon startle along with you, both of you separating to see the other boy apologizing numerous times while looking at you and his friend.
“Shit, I got in your way” he grumbled “Eric and Sunwoo are going to kill me for this, sorry!”
So they told you something, you thought. It could only be since Juyeon knew you didn't love Deokwan. But the question wasn't even that, and yes, how? How could he know something so personal that you had only told – obviously – Sunwoo and Eric.
"I just came to drop off these cups that were scattered in the hallway and—" Jacob looked around trying to find another excuse that wouldn't embarrass him so much for getting in the way of you and Juyeon, but he just couldn't. His drunken brain didn't help him much either.
“How about we get out of here to make Cobie more comfortable?” Juyeon's voice was like a whisper and you wondered how you heard with all that loud music and screaming inside the house. It was clear as daylight because he was still close enough to you.
Your brain wanted to scream no, you really wanted to deny that request, but found yourself with your hand clasped in his as Juyeon walked you out of that party. None of your friends objected to seeing you go out with him, not least because they knew you needed it. Even you knew, you just didn't want to admit to yourself that Lee Juyeon's return had stirred your insides so much.
"What? Where do you think we're going?” finally your voice came out after a while, your hand let go of Juyeon's as he stopped beside his own car. The keys between his fingers and his gaze lingering on you as he interspersed nervous figure and the car that had been unlocked by the alarm.
"To a quieter place, maybe" he shrugged as if that was the most normal thing in the world.
“You're unbelievable” your laugh was a mixture of desperation, nervousness and, who knows, a little nostalgia.
"Why?" Juyeon didn't move, his eyes always fixed on you and the keys still playing in his fingers as his voice became more serious “Are you afraid to be seen with me, y/n? Are you afraid he'll see you here?”
you didn't know how to answer that and that's what was scaring you the most. Juyeon then decided to approach, his steps slowly towards you and stopping right in front of you. Now his hands hovered at his sides.
“I know I have no right to say anything…”
"And do not have. Because you left” was a scrap of courage inside you that needed to say that. All that time repressing a conversation around Juyeon's return was happening in the most random way, but you needed to enjoy “You literally went to another country and come back like nothing happened, Juyeon. And I hate you so much for messing with me it's like you never left.”
"Y/n…"
“I don't love Deokwan anymore, that's true” you sighed trying not to cry at that moment. A lot of things inside you happening and crying was the only way out, but maybe after he was no longer in front of you "But it's true that I also hate you for coming back and acting this way."
Walking away from him like that had been more painful than the first time.
Two weeks locked inside your room and living on fast food and TV movies. Your friends understood and none of them forced you to leave the room, even if the attempts were daily. You were grateful that exam week had passed, or you would have to go to campus, and sure enough, the risk of bumping into Juyeon would be much greater.
In there you were safe. Or at least you thought so.
“Come back here!” the shouts from downstairs were so normal to you if it weren't for the male voice retorting as the footsteps on the stairs became steady and louder.
“I promise it will be quick” it wasn't possible that Juyeon was there, inside your frat house.
“Juyeon, she's not…” your friend's voice trailed off as he opened the door. You, even hearing everything, jumped in fright as you stared at the worried look of the boy in front of you along with the scared look of your friend.
"I tried" she pouted, quickly slapping his arm "Get out, let's go."
"I-"
“You can leave it here” you said.
"Really?" your friend and Juyeon asked at the same time, both in disbelief thinking you would say otherwise, but no. If he was there for something important, then you had to listen to him even if it was the last thing you did.
“I'll be downstairs if you need it” your friend directed a loving look at you, looking now at Juyeon “Hyunjae left his hockey stick here, anything I run upstairs and I won't be afraid to use it.”
She closed the door right away.
“Always so loved” Juyeon smiled awkwardly after a while, getting the first heartfelt laugh out of you.
So… It was the word that always started when the mood started to get uncomfortable, or when neither of them knew what to say. But not for Juyeon. He really had come with a purpose and he vehemently hoped to fulfill it.
“We were meant to be, y/n” you had to hold back your reaction at all costs, but that had taken you by surprise. Juyeon was convinced of what he said as he approached his bed “but a twist of fate made it so you had to walk away, and I know I'm guilty of never having tried anything.”
“Juyeon.”
"I love you" he stopped his footsteps when he got close enough "I've never stopped thinking about how much I've loved you since the first day I saw you walking into that high school" a low sigh escaped his lips, his nose burning as the memory was hit hard "Those glasses that molded your whole face, your cheeks rosy with shame because you thought you had entered the wrong room…"
“I got nervous” you pouted and laughed too, it wasn't painful to remember your first day of school. Because besides Juyeon, you met most of your friends that day.
“You made my heart flutter in a ridiculously cute way” his gaze was so bright you knew at that moment Juyeon was about to cry. You got out of bed to go around the furniture little by little, enough for him to continue talking without getting so nervous "And it hasn't stopped happening."
"You were ashamed to say that" his voice came out as a whisper at that moment.
"I don't care what people say when we're together" trying not to invade your personal space, Juyeon reached up to touch his hand. And in surprise, you intertwined your fingers to hold his hand infinitely bigger than yours "I only care what it's going to be like from now on with the two of us."
Us. You knew that it had never ceased to exist. Deep down, you knew that your heart was always with Juyeon even if it wasn't by your side. And from those lines and everything he had shown, you were absolutely sure of reciprocity.
With your free hand, you touched his face and like almost instantly, Juyeon bent down enough to be with your face at the same height as his.
"Can I kiss you?" Juyeon interspersed his gaze between your eyes and your mouth, the smile slightly crooked as you nodded.
Feeling his lips again was like riding a wave of happiness where you took your serotonin fuel. The way it all fell into place while that kiss was loaded with longing and feelings neither of you could – or would – say out loud. It was just made to feel and you knew how lucky you were to feel it for each other.
Distancing yourself at that moment was only because you needed air in your lungs, because neither of you intended to end that kiss.
“You know,” Juyeon took a breath after a few seconds without kissing you, eyes still closed and his forehead pressed against yours. That quickened breath slowly calming down along with your “I just want it to be you and I forever.”
"Do you want?" he nodded without a single moment's hesitation, you opened your eyes to see him nibble his bottom lip reddened by the recent kiss.
"I've lost a lot by your side and I don't intend to lose it again."
"Juyeon, we…"
"I know you want to leave, I know this sounds crazy because we need to talk and I just walked up to your room just like that” you laughed at how he stumbled over his own words, but that was really true. And not to mention that most likely his friends were pining downstairs hoping that everything would work out somehow “But I want to make it work and I don't intend to go anywhere without you this time.”
“What do you mean by that, Lee Juyeon?”
And with the brightest smile that ever warmed your heart, he leaned in again to kiss your lips and whisper the sweetest words.
“Baby be with me so happily.”
#juyeon au#juyeon fluff#ficscafe#deobiwritersnet#juyeon angst#juyeon x reader#juyeon x you#the boyz au#tbz au#the boyz fluff#tbz fluff#the boyz angst#tbz angst#lee juyeon au#juyeon scenarios#tbz scenarios#juyeon imagines#tbz imagines#the boyz scenarios#the boyz imagines#lee juyeon fluff#lee juyeon angst#juyeon headcanons#the boyz headcanons
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please don’t be in love with someone else
member: juyeon
genre: angst
word count: 1,405
synopsis: taylor swift’s “enchanted” but make it a one-sided crush
a/n: may or may not be based on my own experience
January.
I was finally back on campus after spending a semester abroad. The room was full of people yet I felt sort of alone. People I knew yet felt a little distant with after spending half a year apart.
Faking smiles as I awkwardly laughed to continue conversations full of small talk. That’s how the night began. Nitpicking at my own every word and movement.
Until I saw him.
Our eyes met as he talked with one of my friends. There was a glint of familiarity in his eyes that I mistook for curiosity.
They came over together and my friend introduced us. His name rang a bell but I couldn’t pinpoint why until he brought it up.
“You don’t remember playing Among Us with me?” he teased. I nearly gasped when I pieced two and two together.
“So you’re the Juyeon that kept killing me off!” I blurted.
The previous year, I had played games with him and our mutual friends a few times. Despite me putting him at the top of my hit list for always killing me as the imposter, I had a good impression of him. He was kind and funny.
“That’s exactly what you said to me the first time we met,” he chuckled.
“First time? Isn’t this our first time meeting?”
“You really don’t remember?” he overdramatically feigned hurt.
I racked my brain for any memories but drew a blank.
“Last summer? At the funeral? We all went out to eat together after? I sat next to you at the restaurant?” he continued.
The lightbulb in my head finally turned on.
“Oh! You were sitting on my left at the end of the table!”
It all came back to me. As an introvert, I was too shy to even face him so I had spent most of that dinner with my body turned to the right.
Embarrassed, I apologized for my terrible memory and he laughed, saying it was alright.
February.
Juyeon and I had gotten pretty close due to our social circle overlapping. He was sweet, soft spoken, and well-mannered. He was the type to quietly take care of everyone.
He always insisted on carrying things for me and fought over the bill. But it wasn’t until the late night beach trip that my platonic feelings started to turn into something more.
While he was the definition of gentleness, I was the definition of clumsy. Walking in the sand was a challenge for me who could barely balance myself on flat ground.
He was the first to notice my stumbling and immediately offered his arm for me to hold on to. At first, I declined. But when I continued to trip over my own feet, he stopped me in my tracks and held up his arm in front of me.
“Just use me. Please. It’ll make me feel better. It makes me so anxious every time you take a step.”
With all our friends watching and waiting for me, I hesitantly grabbed the edge of his jacket sleeve. Though I quickly let go once we were finally by the water.
The beach at midnight in the winter was cold to say the very least. It was a spontaneous trip and I was unprepared with just a hoodie on.
Once again, Juyeon was the first to notice me shivering. He immediately took his jacket off and handed it to me.
When I persisted that it was okay and that I didn’t need his jacket, he simply threw it over my shoulders and walked away.
“Hey! Take your jacket back, it’s cold!” I yelled.
“I get hot easily and that jacket is too thick. You’re doing me a favor by wearing it,” he answered without looking back.
The night was sparkling and it wasn’t just the stars. I spent the rest of that night wondering a million questions. A million questions all about you.
What was your ideal type? Have you had your first love yet? Do you love someone right now?
But all of that came crashing down with the waves when I finally mustered up the courage to ask and he told me that he had a girlfriend. Before I even got to hope that this was the beginning of our story, it came to an end.
March.
Juyeon had become one of my closest friends. He was a good listener and sensitive to my feelings, which was how I ended up spilling my deepest thoughts to him at 1 AM.
2 months into the semester, the excitement of a new chapter had worn off and my mental health took a dip. I struggled with insecurity my whole life and it was consuming me whole yet again.
I cried about how much I hated myself and how afraid I was of other people’s perceptions. He waited until I was done ranting before calmly assuring me that no one thought as badly of me as I thought they did.
“Since middle school, it was always me and Sana. Now it’s me, Sana, and Momo. With both of them next to me, I’m just never the first to catch anyone’s eyes. I’m not blaming them or anything, it's just how it is. I know I’m responsible for my own insecurities.”
“I know this may sound a little weird but this is my best attempt at shutting down your negative self image. You are not ugly, Y/n. You are far from it. When I first met you, I honestly thought you were one of the prettiest people I’ve ever met. Other than my mom of course. And now my girlfriend is #1 to me but I still genuinely think you’re pretty.”
My heart reacting to those words was the first warning.
“I don’t know, I just don’t compare to Sana or Momo, you know? It’s both my inferiority complex and the truth,” I tried to nonchalantly shrug it off.
“I’m gonna be honest and just say that you definitely caught my eye over any of those two. But uh no romantic feelings though by the way.”
The second warning.
Before the conversation could get any weirder, I changed the subject. We continued to trauma bond—a weird foundation of our friendship—until I began to doze off. His voice sounded distant as I slowly fell asleep.
“Y/n? You still there?”
A pause.
“Are you sleeping?”
I didn’t have the energy to respond.
“Good night, Y/n. I really do hope you’ll feel better.”
Another pause.
“Well um I’m just gonna keep this call going just in case you wake up from the sound of me hanging up. So uh don’t be too surprised at the call length when you wake up haha.”
The third warning. That was when I decided that I needed some space from him.
April.
Despite me trying to avoid him, it was inevitable to run into him because we were in the same friend group. I didn’t have an excuse to not attend our mutual friend’s birthday. That was how I ended up at the karaoke.
“Come on, Y/n, you barely sang tonight,” Younghoon whined.
“Yeah, I’ll pick out a song for you! You like Taylor Swift, right?” Jaehyun exclaimed as he reserved a song.
I couldn’t refute once Eric shoved the microphone in my hand. The lyrics of “Enchanted” flashed across the screen as the music began.
“The playful conversation starts. Counter all your quick remarks.”
Flashbacks of us jokingly bickering filled my mind.
“I'll spend forever wondering if you knew I was enchanted to meet you.”
I hoped he wouldn’t. It would ruin our friendship.
“This is me praying that this was the very first page, not where the story line ends.”
I shook off the flashbacks to the beach trip.
“My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again. These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon.”
Those words were indeed ones I was holding back.
“Please don't be in love with someone else.”
But he already was.
“Please don't have somebody waiting on you.”
His relationship was just starting when I met him in January. I wonder if things would’ve worked out differently if we had met just a little earlier.
“I was enchanted to meet you.”
I truly was.
“Please don't be in love with someone else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you.”
The last line left my lips with a bittersweet feeling.
#deobiwritersnet#the boyz angst#tbz angst#juyeon angst#the boyz fic#tbz fic#juyeon fic#the boyz#juyeon#the boyz imagines#the boyz scenarios#juyeon imagines#juyeon scenarios
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Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice
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#juyeon x reader#juyeon fanfic#juyeon fluff#juyeon fake texts#juyeon smut#juyeon angst#tbz social media au#tbz smut#tbz angst#tbz fake texts#tbz fanfic#tbz#juyeon
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⋆⁺.CHRISTMAS LIGHTS ︶꒷꒦︶ ⁺₊❆⋆𐙚
⋆⁺. ︶꒷꒦︶ ︶꒷꒦︶ ︶꒷꒦︶ ₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆𐙚
➸ ⋆⁺. [⛸️] description: the city was lonely, as they say home is where the heart is. as you return to see your childhood friends for the annual christmas get together, old faces resurface unhealed wounds that you wish you could rewind. ₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆𐙚
➸ ⋆⁺. member: juyeon x you
➸ ⋆⁺. genre: angst to fluff
➸ ⋆⁺. word count: 2k+
the moors were covered in a glistening blanket of the whitest snow, the sky overcast with a light grey hue whilst the trees lonely and desolate of leaves hung themselves over the landscape perfectly.
you were nervous, a slight shake in your hands as the cars heating blasted warm air into the passenger seat, driving to the cabin bar where your old friends had organised the yearly christmas get together.
you’d moved away to the city after the last christmas, leaving your small countryside village behind - unwilling to settle for a manual labor job and stay in the country forever. you prioritised your ambition and career over a humble life readily paved out for you.
however, admittedly you’d missed the village, the city was nothing in comparison, the sense of community you’d lost, the friends you’d left behind, life wasn’t the same without them.
or should you say… him.
“we’re here, ma’am.” the taxi driver that had drove you all these miles announced, you gave him a smile and your thanks before telling him to have a lovely christmas as he drove off into the distance of the high street, strung with christmas lights and foliage.
the small pub where you’d grew up was bustling with laughter and joy, the faint melody of “fairytale of new york” by the pogues leaking from the wooden doors.
“y/n!” you heard someone yell your name, a joyful juhaknyeon running out the doors of the pub with a cigarette settled above his ear like a ballpoint pen. he was wearing the flat cap you’d bought him as a joke last christmas, his pint of guinness spilling from the sides clumsily as he was so excited to see you.
“haknyeon!” you exclaimed, running to give him a hug and took in the scent of his familiar cologne, mixed with a strong scent of booze. “i’ve missed you so much!”
“you’ve missed us? we thought you’d forgotten all about us!” he laughed jokingly hitting you on the back, as he walked you into the bar where all your other friends were sat around a large booth towards the back.
you’d greeted everyone with a smile, reuniting with kevin and jacob asking you all about your city life and the things you’d gotten up to since you’d left. the bar was full of old regulars, the floors were carpeted in the same shade of red with gold accents highlighting the room.
“yeah, it’s been a pretty busy year for me.” you laughed, unable to focus on the conversation. you looked around the pub, checked the bar, but he was nowhere to be found.
“you’re looking for him, aren’t you?” hyunjae asked, sat next to you with his new wife chatting away to another one of the boys’ girlfriends eagerly.
“yeah.” you sighed, feeling let down that he hadn’t shown up, which considering how you’d left things last year you weren’t surprised.
“don’t get too down about it yet, he’s missed you, i’m sure he’ll make an appearance at some point.” hyunjae smiled with reassurance, taking a short sip of his pint before chipping into the conversation his wife was having.
“how’s the electrics company going?” you asked haknyeon, taking your mind off the entire thing as he smiled and began trailing off about all of his work dramas.
⋆⁺. ︶꒷꒦︶ ︶꒷꒦︶ ︶꒷꒦︶ ₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆𐙚
it’d been 3 hours of chatting, catching up and laughter, however he still hadn’t shown up. the afternoon was soon turning evening, despite your belief in your ability to conceal your emotions, everyone noticed your solemn undertones - understanding why you weren’t in the greatest mood, considering the events of last christmas.
⋆⁺. ︶꒷꒦︶ ︶꒷꒦︶ ︶꒷꒦︶ ₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆𐙚
🎄🕰️: 25TH OF DECEMBER: LAST YEAR
christmas day was coming to a close, you still hadn’t broke it to him yet, the love of your life, that you were leaving the village in the beginning of january.
the boy who’s name was juyeon did everything a boyfriend usually would for you, you were in love in such a way that words couldn’t describe. he was a bricklayer in the town, living his life humbly hoping to give you the best life he could.
on the evening of christmas day, you’d been sat watching christmas films with him sat in his arms guiltily revising the city job offer you’d received just 3 days prior.
“y/n?” the boy next to you hummed “i have to tell you something.”
you looked up at his deep brown eyes with guilt, his white sweater complimenting his gold wristwatch and necklace.
“i have to tell you something too.” you replied exhaling a deep breath, his expression looking at you with so much love you’d almost choked on your words.
“you go first.” his hand gently brushing your spine, running up to your shoulder as you gulped nervously.
“i’ve been offered a job in the city.” you concisely formed the sentence, breaking the news off from your guilt heavy conscience.
“what?- you’re leaving?” his expression changed to an unclear frown, his eyes confused and almost hurt with the sudden news. “what about us?”
“i don’t know juyeon, but it’s an offer i can’t refuse.” you tried to explain your decision and at heart he already knew it was the best decision for you.
“it’s okay. just know if you ever want to come back and live here. I’m here for you.” he sighed, giving you a tight hug, his eyes glancing down to his pockets.
little did you know, there was another offer you wouldn’t have refused lying in there next to his car keys. a small crushed velvet box with a diamond ring, one he could never gift to you - since you were leaving for good. the crumpled speech he’d revised would later be littered with tear drops, his life crumbling apart.
🎄🕰️BACK TO PRESENT DAY
⋆⁺. ︶꒷꒦︶ ︶꒷꒦︶ ︶꒷꒦︶ ₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆𐙚
you got up to go get another drink from the bar, ordering a beverage to settle the nerves that tangled like knots in your stomach. the feeling of emptiness opening like a dark void in your conscience.
the pub doors opened, a familiar tall figure in a black trench coat stepping inside, the scent of a fresh cigarette lingering in the air, immediately turning your head to the scent of old spice and home.
he’d made it, his jet black hair, beautiful brown eyes all stood before you as he wiped his boots on the welcome matt, his jacket catching flakes of fallen snow.
your heart either shattered, or put itself back together - you couldn’t tell which as it was such an unclear feeling of overwhelming nature you’d never felt before.
he locked eyes with you, just for a few seconds as if he considered saying hello or running back out the door. taking hesitant steps towards the bar where you were.
“it’s lovely to see you again.” juyeon smiled slightly, battling internalised emotions he’d tried to avoid. leaning over the bar and avoiding the contact of your eyes which looked up at his face brightly.
“same goes for you. how have you been?” the confidence you’d tried to assert on your voice leaving only above a whisper.
“i can’t say i’ve been great.” he chuckled in an almost bittersweet way, running his fingers through his neatly styled hair with a sigh.
“that’s not good, i’m sure things will be better for you next year, at least i hope.” you tried to think of a kind response, instead probably coming across as the most patronising piece of shit in the process.
“i hope so too.” he smiled, as you collected your drink and turned around to see every single pair of your friends eyes gawking at the situation.
“can you guys make yourselves any more obvious?” you laughed placing your drink on the table in embarrassment and sitting back down next to hyunjae.
juyeon soon came to sit beside you, the group greeting him briefly and apologising for his lateness. he had work that day, you didn’t know how you’d forgotten being so caught up in your selfish little world.
“how is work?” you asked nervously as conversations resumed around you, the tension between the two of you building intensely.
“i got promoted to site manager.” he smiled, as you congratulating him with a laugh knowing how much he’d wanted to get that position.
“how’s the city?” he scratched the back of his neck, a nervous habit of his you’d picked up after years of knowing him.
“to be honest? not great. i miss home, i don't really have anyone there." you took a sip of your drink, eyes remaining on the polished wooden table with regret.
“well like i said you’re always welcome to come back.” he grumbled, looking around to everyone else’s conversations at the table, his eyes wandering to the christmas tree in the corner - coated in a thick gold tinsel with baubles strung messily across the tree.
“SPEECH. SPEECH. SPEECH.” The boys began chanting all of a sudden, taunting Sangyeon who appeared to be a little more tipsy than the rest his ears tinting a light a pink as he took a sip of his lager.
“Okay. Okay.” He calmed down their excitement before standing up in front of the the large table with his drink in hand. “First of all, I’d like to thank you all for coming this year and I think it’s important to address everyone’s hard work this year. I would like to thank Haknyeon for his persistence to plan this, I know we only all see each other driving past on our jobs but it’s refreshing to see you all face to face. Y/n thank you for travelling so far to see us, although things are different since you’ve been here last. It’s lovely to have everyone together. To a good christmas.” He raised his pint in the air as the boys howled in cheer, taking a sip and sitting back down in his place at the table.
“Thanks, Sangyeon. That was great.” You looked at the man across the table with a genuine smile, his gaze glancing between you and Juyeon before he returned the smile with ruddy cheeks.
As you began catching up with Younghoon, he seemed to bring up how he’d recently done a job for your parents, reinstalling their bathroom. The sound of their names resurfacing the guilt for leaving them.
“You sound like you need to come home.” Younghoon stated as he spotted tears welling at your waterline, quickly moving your hand to dab them away. You felt a hand gently touch your leg, containing yourself from jolting backwards in shock, you discreetly looked down to find Juyeon’s hand gently caressing your leg - something he used to do a lot to calm you down in public if you felt a bit nervous.
“I probably do.” You giggled slightly, a nervous hiccup triggering a laugh of adoration from Juyeon.
“Do it. Come home, I need a copywriter for my company.” Haknyeon looked across the table genuinely, turning heads with the statement.
“Really?” You looked at your phone slightly, (25) missed calls from your boss glowing on the screen since he’d been trying to call you in.
“Of course.” He laughed jovially in reply, sliding his phone across the pub table to show you the post for a copywriter he’d listed on a job site. “The pay probably isn’t as much as you currently make, but it might mean you get to come home and when my company expands I’m sure that will change.”
You smiled at Haknyeon, considering the post in your head. Did you really want to come home? Would you be really losing that much money with the prices of living in the city?
“Honestly-” The bell for last drinks at the bar sounded, as the boys cheered it was time for home, the bar soon closing. Everyone got up to leave, saying their goodbyes with hugs and words of sentiment for each other.
“Well, until next year.” Juyeon laughed, bittersweetly walking you out to the the sheltered entrance where the cab that would soon drive you back to city was parked it’s engine growling, it’s lights brightly shining on to the cobbled high streets.
“I don’t think.. I want to leave.” You felt your eyes beginning to water again, the thought of going back to the loneliness of the city taunting you at the back of your mind.
“Then stay. There’s a job here for you-” Juyeon erratically told you, the cigarette he’d freshly lit falling to to his sides with his arms.
“It’s not that, Juyeon. I got such an amazing opportunity in the city-” You began to argue, thinking of how amazing the job offer was in the city, installed with the false hope of climbing up the ladder and becoming an important figure to a significant company.
“But you heart is here. You want home, you know you do. So don’t waste that opportunity to be here again. Don’t walk out on me again.” He begged you, a strand of his jet black hair falling in front of his face, his eyes sparkling down on you with diamonds of hope glistening in his irises.
“I love you. I still do.” He suddenly came out with the statement, stunning your speech, knowing at heart he wasn’t trying to sabotage your career he just wanted your happiness; he wanted you back.
The mistletoe hung above you ironically, snow beginning to fall lightly the temperature dropping, however the feeling of warmth and comfort keeping you cozy in the small entrance way to the pub. Juyeon looked up to observe the plant hanging above you, before leaning in to touch his lips to yours, sealing a kiss that asserted so much passion almost his final beg to get you back.
As you parted, his hand resting against your cheek, you quickly broke and began sprinting towards the cab looking back at him, he stared in shock and defeat as he saw you looking back with watery tears.
“I’m going back to get my stuff.” You yelled to him, ready to return to the city and bring your things back to the place you belonged. He dashed over to you in the snow, immediately dropping the burning cigarette in his hand to embrace you in the tightest hug he’d ever given you.
“Keep the bed warm for me in the morning.” You laughed, causing him to smile, a singular tear of vulnerability falling down his cheek as he looked down at you with amounts of love you’ve never felt before.
“I will. I’ll start putting the christmas tree up too, ready for you.” He joked back, the smile on his face shining as if he’d never smiled since you were last with him. You quickly jumped to give him a final kiss, a fire relighting in your stomach as if it was the best feeling in the world.
“See you soon.” He opened the cab door for you, closing it as you got in safely, not forgetting to give you a peck on the cheek before gently closing the door.
As the snow fell across the village and street lamps lit up the small high-street stores you grew up around, an onlooker smiled in his flat cap having watched the whole scene with his cigarette and guinness in hand. His plan to bring everything back together had worked and would be reveal it to anyone? Of course not. Haknyeon chuckled, drinking the last of his pint before walking to Juyeon, the two walking the high street home laughing and joking as if everything had never changed.
⋆⁺. ︶꒷꒦︶ ︶꒷꒦︶ ︶꒷꒦︶ ₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆𐙚
a/n: hi daisies! i’m yet to proofread this so cut me slack for any grammatical errors. this took me so long and i hope you love this little world as much as i do. merry christmas 🤍
#— 24 days of tbz ⛸️#tbz#the boyz#the boyz x reader#the boyz imagines#the boyz fanfic#kpop imagines#the boyz fluff#the boyz x you#juyeon x reader#juyeon#juyeon x you#deoboyznet#juyeon fic#juyeon imagines#tbz fluff#tbz scenarios#the boyz au#tbz au#juyeon angst#the boyz juyeon#kpop x reader#kpop au#kpop fic recs#kpop scenarios#kpop fanfic#the boyz requests#the boyz scenarios#the boyz fic#juyeon fanfic
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OUR INFERNO | CHAPTER ONE
SYNOPSIS ✧ despite being your greatest archnemesis/rival/enemy/frenemy/whateverthefuck he was, hyunjae had always been by your side. that changed when your boyfriend was brought up, creating a newfound rift in your whateverthefuck relationship with hyunjae
PAIRING ✧ rival!hyunjae x fem!reader
GENRE ✧ high school au, enemies to fwb, angst, smut, fluff(?), humor(?) (these mfs bicker a lot), pining
WARNINGS ✧ 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT — cheating, profanity, mentions of physical fight/bruises, underaged drinking, obsessive/possessive hyunjae : NSFW TAGS : outdoor/semipublic sex, dubcon recording, spit/drool/tears, oral and fingering (fem receiving), penetration, scratching/ripping, humping, minimal praise, degradation, sub!hyunjae for 0.002 seconds, petnames (princess, good girl, babe/baby, slut)
WORD COUNT ✧ 19k
⋮≡ [ OUR INFERNO EXCLUSIVE ] @deoboyznet @flwoie @sanaxo-o — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!
. . . . . . OUR INFERNO M.LIST ✩ next [ TWO ]
⋮≡ [ PERMANENT TAGLIST ] @armysantiny @stealanity @zzoguri @nyujjan @tinisprout @the-kpop-simp @sunwoosberrie @winterchimez — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!
THE BOYZ MASTERLIST | NAVIGATION
AUTHOR'S NOTE : in honor of my three years of officially stanning the boyz on this very day, let's celebrate with my smut debut and writing comeback 😋 enjoy my loves
PART ONE: CHASING THE SPARK (THE FIRE TETRAHEDRON) — fuel, oxygen, and heat | CHAPTER ONE
“Genuine question.”
“Shoot.”
“Who the fuck does Hyunjae actually think he is?”
Unphased by your up-and-coming rage rant, Kevin resumed snacking on the protein bar he had brought with him. He tossed his free arm over the camera equipment and backpacks sitting next to him on the bench, watching you stride back and forth within one of the many hallways in the recreational center.
“Well, he is your boss.”
“No, he’s the student executive producer,” you corrected, your legs unwavering as you kept a consistent pace to release your frustrations. Kevin shrugged and tossed one leg over the other, staying relaxed despite the hot fumes emanating from your upright and angered figure. You paused momentarily to look him in the eye.
“Emphasis on the student,” you clarified.
“Emphasis on the executive, Y/N.”
Baffled at how he was defending your greatest archnemesis (well, more like your greatest frenemy), you ignored his rebuttal and started pacing again. Your steps slowed as you envisioned the sensations you experienced just minutes before, back when you, Kevin, and Hyunjae were at the indoor pool to report for your school’s broadcasting channel. Technically, you were the one reporting and filming while Hyunjae was the subject of interest, and Kevin was there for physical support.
Chills latched onto your skin as you remembered what it felt like to have Hyunjae’s bare torso looming over you, his eyes peering over your shoulder to glance at your footage. While staring at the camera, his gentle, irregular breaths would continuously hit your skin. Water from the pool would trickle down his hair and into your shirt, reaching your backside. When it happened, you could barely comprehend Hyunjae’s ‘advice’ and instead focused on feeling every cold droplet travel through the crevasses created by your spine. You winced at the thought of that happening again, yet somehow you could still hear his irritating voice near your ear, telling you all the reasons why your B-roll of his lap swimming was ‘trash’ and ‘unusable.’
For a moment, you stood there in the hallway frozen, unsure of how to move, before realizing you were just reliving a moment from earlier and that Hyunjae was still in the locker room changing.
“I’m going to make a complaint,” you declared, turning back towards Kevin for his encouragement. Alternatively, you were met with the sight of your best friend completely failing to conceal his judgment and disapproval towards your suggestion.
“Against Hyunjae? You gotta be kidding, right?”
“Yes,” you answered confidently. “Wait, I mean no, I’m not kidding, but yes, against Hyunjae.”
Kevin eyed you skeptically, trying to decipher why you felt threatened enough to report someone like Hyunjae. You may not have spent all your previous years in high school with an affinity for Hyunjae, but it wasn’t like you hated him either—not in the way you truly loathed others. If that were the case, you wouldn’t spend nearly every day with him, bickering until the sun chose to set.
“Sure, maybe my B-roll was trash, I can attest to that, but that does not give his bitchass the right to not only shit on how ‘awful’ I was doing, but also yank the camera out of my hands and delete all the footage I got because they weren’t ‘perfect enough.’ What kind of psycho is that?” You glanced over at Kevin, trying once again to get him to back you up, but the most he gave was a slight nod. Everything you were spurting was half-mindedly being decoded because he had ended up placing more significance on inhaling protein. Regardless, you continued.
“And you would think, hey! As the student executive producer of a high school broadcasting team, he would understand that no! I indeed do not record half-naked people swimming in a pool, whether it be for a career or a hobby. He should also at least have the decency to not swim seven hundred miles per minute while I’m recording. Of course I’m not going to catch up, especially when he barely told me how he wanted things to be recorded? Isn’t he fucking insane for that? Not to mention all the goddamn splashing because of how fucking long his limbs are—”
“You’re explaining this like I didn’t witness the whole exchange,” Kevin grumbled.
“And you would think he knows, right? That Mr. Executive-slash-Captain-of-the-Swim-Team should either be more considerate when, A, he’s kicking water in my direction when he’s swimming or, B, station me away from the edge of the pool? Just a thought, but fuck me, I guess.”
“Well yeah, but the—”
“Also! Not to mention the camera has the fucking ability to zoom in, so why was there even a need for me to stand by the pool anyway?” You scoffed at the absurdity, almost tempted to cackle like a villain because of it. “The least he could do was tell me how to record it or find a way to adjust and compromise without occasionally soaking me with water on purpose, which I know damn well he was—”
“That’s just how-”
“We have a tripod, for god’s sake!” you exclaimed. By now, Kevin had given up on providing you with his input. He opted to rest against the wall, finishing up whatever he had left of the protein bar, and occasionally would roll his eyes.
“But even then, who the fuck wants to see him swim anyway? We’ll probably only need like…what? A minute of the footage for the B-roll? So why the hell is he treating it like it’s about to be nominated by the goddamn Oscars for Best Picture? He just loves to nitpick and control me like a fucking puppet—”
“Keep talking and you’ll potentially strain your throat,” a new voice interrupted.
You jerked around to find Hyunjae, the culprit of your rant, exiting the locker room with a small duffle bag that contained both his swim gear and his school clothes from earlier in the day. His brown hair was only halfway dry, some strands still stuck to his forehead as he approached where you were pacing.
You halted in your path and stared him down. Hyunjae immediately caught onto the mood you were in, and instead of being shocked or hurt, he grinned.
“You.”
Your attempt at threatening him with one word made Hyunjae laugh.
“Hey, I’m just looking out for you.”
“Oh here we go again,” Kevin mumbled, tossing the wrapper of the protein bar to the side. He pulled out his phone and went on TikTok, deciding it was more worthy of his attention than listening to you two banter—something he had been experiencing for well over five years.
As a mutual friend of yours and Hyunjae’s since middle school, Kevin understood the frenemy dynamic better than either of you. Eventually, over the long years he had known you both, he learned to leave you two be.
“What about me, though? Are you going to try and tattletale on me?” Hyunjae feigned sympathy as he gave you an exaggerated pout, tilting his head like a puppy’s. “C’mon. I’m just doing my job.”
“Sorry, but I don’t remember ‘being a dick’ being listed under the requirements for your oh-so-important position of power.” You huffed at him and crossed your arms, choosing to face elsewhere as you rooted the soles of your feet to the ground.
Hyunjae furrowed his brows, his eyes never leaving you, as he addressed the third party within the shared space.
“Kevin, was I being a dick, or is Y/N exaggerating?”
Kevin glanced up at his phone and scrunched his nose at Hyunjae in annoyance.
“Don’t even try to bring me into whatever…this mess is.”
“No, tell him,” you demanded, now looking at him. Your glare was enough to burn Kevin into ashes, but it was nothing compared to Hyunjae’s gaze piercing into your back. Knowing that he never looked away made you shiver, hating how fixated he seemed to be—and seemingly without reason too.
“Listen, I wasn’t being a dick. I was treating you the same way I treat everyone else. I’d honestly argue that you’re just narcissistic and think everything is about you when—”
“Oh wow, thank you for admitting that you’re a dick to everyone else!” You tossed your hands up for dramatic appeal as you spun back around to look at him. He scoffed, but his demeanor was quickly shadowed by a smirk that appeared on his lips, testing you with the arch of his brow.
“Oh really? Do you see anyone else complaining?”
“I’m complaining,” Kevin muttered.
“People don’t complain because they’re scared of you, Sherlock,” you retorted. At this point, Hyunjae had already caught onto your bullshit of making evidence up, and it was why this exchange ended up lasting for as long as it did. Nevertheless, his ego continued to build the more you spoke.
“You’re not scared of me?”
And you keep falling for the bait.
“Why should I? You’re nothing.” You approached him and pressed a finger into his chest, taunting him as you stared straight into his eyes.
Suddenly a competition seemed to have materialized because now you both were locking eyes, too stubborn to look away.
“One day you’ll wake up and realize your position doesn’t mean shit. You take it too seriously and make everyone’s job your job when this should be a learning experience for the rest of us.”
“And who exactly is ‘us,’ babe?”
You narrowed your eyes at him.
“Don’t call me that–”
“And it’s also starting to sound like jealousy to me.” Hyunjae’s eyes finally shifted, but instead of looking away from you like you initially wanted him to, you trailed his line of sight down to your lips. He eyed them shamelessly—technically making you win the unspoken eye contact competition, but at what cost? “I won’t believe you until I receive firm evidence and testimonies from the other students in the club, then maybe I’ll consider your concerns. Deal?”
What you despised most was how well Hyunjae knew and provoked you to get under your skin. He was a raging flame, making your blood boil from both irritation and excitement. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but after nearly six years of banter with Hyunjae, you knew damn well you enjoyed every second of it. It was like a nonstop competition, and you were always on the edge of winning.
Maybe it was also because you were so used to him constantly being above you. He was the president of the student council, the swim team’s captain, and specifically the one who snatched the executive position away from you in the broadcasting team, yet somehow you were still able to compete at his level of arrogance and egotism.
Even though you may never be able to top him in the foreseeable future, you at least knew how to match his fury—his fire, with your own.
“You’re pathetic.” You took a few steps back to gain some distance while his eyes flickered back up to yours. He bit his lip playfully, his smile only growing even wider.
“Woah, Y/N. Exposing my degradation kink so soon?”
“I-...you- w-what?!” you sputtered, your jaw falling slack as Kevin’s head snapped up, staring at the two of you in disgust.
“Get a room—!”
“I’m going to make sure you get degraded from your position, you freak!”
“Not exactly how that word works, princess, but I’m glad you’re at least passionate.” His cooing made you want to slap the living shit out of him, your eyes protruding from their sockets are you glared.
“Are you fucking bricked up or something right now—?”
“Hey guys,” a woman’s voice called out. Your heads turned to look at the end of the hallway, catching one of the recreational center’s workers waving in your general direction. She pressed her lips together and smiled, attempting to be as professional and understanding as possible. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but is it okay if you guys turn it down a notch?”
You and Hyunjae both nodded and whispered apologies, feeling like kids who just got scolded for shoving paintbrushes down the drain. Fortunately, the worker’s smile radiated genuine warmth and consideration, providing you some sort of reassurance that you guys weren’t too much of a disturbance (even though you guys totally were).
“You two are the most childish fuckers I know,” Kevin deadpanned, finally shoving his phone away as he switched between looking at you and the man by your side. His eyebrows bunched up.
“And apparently horny too.”
“I would move across the country if it meant I never had to see him again,” you grumbled, striding back to the pile of equipment to pick up your backpack and the bag with all your reporting necessities (boring script, stationary, and a couple of notebooks shared with all the broadcasting students to collect notes and inspiration in).
“Hello? I’m still here.”
“Look at that. He already misses me.”
“I’m going to hurl,” Kevin unnecessarily announced, and Hyunjae’s face soured.
“Ew.”
“Exactly. That’s how you two make me feel whenever you guys are together.” Kevin got up on his feet and grabbed the wrapper to shove into one of his pockets (no littering, kids) before outstretching his limbs dramatically.
“I swear I developed back pain from always listening to you guys bicker.”
“Or, hot take,” Hyunjae interjected, “maybe it’s because you’re always sitting with your back arching forward like it belongs in the Arches National Park–”
“Yeah yeah, shut the fuck up.” Kevin waved him off with his hand and rolled his eyes. “I came here to help carry stuff, not listen to your bullshit.”
He picked up the bag that contained the camera and passed it to Hyunjae. He offered to hold one more thing, but with only his backpack and the tripod left, Kevin didn’t see much need for his friend’s assistance.
Kevin then faced you, his face stern and rid of emotion.
“You too, Y/N,” he stated seriously. “None of this ‘he said this,’ ‘he said that,’ ‘please fuck me’ bullshit from you either.”
You gaped at him, arms wrapped tightly around the crew’s bag.
“Now why the hell do you think—”
“Zip it.”
Without giving you much of an opportunity to continue, Kevin sped off in front of you, ready to leave the building. You couldn’t even look at Hyunjae as heat rushed to your cheeks, struggling to trail after Kevin’s speedy steps.
Despite carrying heavier items, Hyunjae caught up to you with ease. You wanted nothing more than for Hyunjae’s feet to either slow down or speed up tremendously, but of course he purposely chose to walk by your side, attached to you by the hip.
“He sees it,” Hyunjae sing-songed. “Everyone sees it.”
“Sees what?” you snorted, oblivious to what he was indicating.
“That you want me,” he replied nonchalantly.
The moment you two stepped outside the doors of the center, you stopped to face him, trying to confirm what exactly he was implying.
“You can’t be serious.”
Hyunjae, who also stopped with your steps, shrugged.
“You’re the one in denial.”
Realizing that he was serious, you felt every muscle in your body tense up.
“Hyunjae,” you stated firmly. “I have a boyfriend, remember?”
Instead of receiving something witty from Hyunjae like normal, his relaxed facial features suddenly scrambled into one that expressed remote shock. His lips were slightly parted, eyes searching yours for any hint that indicated you were lying or messing around with him, but you were serious.
The aggressive playfulness from earlier had evaporated faster than boiling water, and you watched as he became stilled. Your heart started pounding, anxiety creeping up within you due to not being able to read Hyunjae like you normally do.
“Since when?” he asked. His voice was quiet, his tone firmer, and by now, Kevin was already by his car, too far from the two of you to understand what was going on. Hell, even you could barely understand what was happening.
“Earth to Hyunjae?” you joked, nervously laughing in an attempt to eliminate the newfound tension looming in the atmosphere. “It’s always been Jiwoong, remember?”
For a moment, Hyunjae could feel his mouth drying up. All his thoughts were held captive in his throat, and his lips remained parted as if they weren’t meant to collide at all. He stared at you like you had just teleported in front of him.
“Y/N,” he stated calmly, “he cheated on you.”
Your initial response was to get defensive, claiming that you already knew that because hell, it was your relationship, but then your brain acknowledged the true elephant in the conversation.
“How-...how the hell do you know about that?”
“I- You know word just-…That doesn’t matter. What matters is why in the world—”
“It was a mistake, okay?”
“A mistake?” As Hyunjae’s brows raised, so did his tone. “You know, people—decent people, don’t make mistakes like that.”
Seeing how Hyunjae was gritting his teeth, how his eyes were locked on yours, built up a foreign frustration within you. Something about the way Hyunjae was behaving felt like he was trying to control you.
All the rage from before had now returned, yet this time, there was no more leniency from you—not when Hyunjae was being more condescending than he had ever been.
“You know nothing, Hyunjae, so frankly, I really don’t care about what you think about my relationship with my boy-”
“You’re still with him??”
“Look,” you snapped. “Just because you have the luxury of crushing my hopes and dreams on a daily basis, it does not give you the right to dictate what’s wrong or right about my love life and my decisions. Understood?”
And just like how you always are, Hyunjae refused to shut up.
“How is it dictating when it’s common sense to dump a shitty person?” He dropped the bags onto the ground, and not once did he look away from you. “He’s never treated you well either, and you know that—”
“It’s not your decision to make,” you repeated. You could feel the three key elements of creating a fire stir up within you. You had the fuel, the oxygen, and the heat, and Hyunjae was the chemical chain reaction that would set it off. “How dense can you fucking be to not back down?”
“He cheated on you,” he reasserted, and there was a rage in his eyes that you had never once encountered. “He’s done so many shitty things, and he hasn’t changed–”
“Again, none of your fucking business–”
“And I’m pretty sure I saw—”
“I am not going to repeat myself-”
“Can’t you just listen to what I-”
“Drop it.” You were seconds away from yelling at him, ready to unleash all your anger because never once has someone threatened your love life—Jiwoong, the man you considered your soulmate. Your flame had officially engulfed his, and all Hyunjae could do was stare at you in disbelief and disappointment.
Turning to look away, you gazed up into the sky and scoffed, not understanding why tears had begun to pool up in your eyes. At the end of the day, Hyunjae meant nothing to you—you didn’t even consider him a friend.
After moments of experiencing what it was like to be suffocated by a tension so unbearable, you eventually found a way to ground yourself.
“I can’t blame him, you know,” you whispered, using the back of your hand to wipe away your tears. “We were angry. He just–...he needed an outlet, and at that time, that outlet happened to not be me, okay?”
Hyunjae stared at you, his mouth desperate to say something, anything, to make you see what he sees—a relationship that isn’t meant to be. That you didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Maybe you were no more than an acquaintance to him, but he knew you have always deserved better.
“He isn’t someone worth fighting for.”
“And that’s none of your business,” you scowled.
“It isn’t right—”
“Stay in your fucking lane, Jae.”
Hyunjae clamped his mouth shut, and the sight of you completely breaking down tore him apart. Possibly it was all the years you spent together growing up, constantly arguing, yet he knew he was always one to look out for you.
You sucked in a cheek, gnawing at it as your chest urged for you to forgive him, to apologize for lashing out without much notice, but in the end, you prioritized your pride over him.
Not only was Hyunjae’s persistence a stab to your heart, but you suspected that Kevin was the one who told him. By spilling your secrets, it was as if Kevin saw the knife that impaled you and yanked it out of your chest, causing you to bleed to your death.
“I’m done with this conversation,” you muttered, dropping the bag in your arms to the ground by his feet. Your plans had changed to you walking home alone, wanting nothing to do with the other two boys for the next hour or so.
When you turned around to walk away, you knew Hyunjae was going to try and say something. You knew him best whenever he was at his worst, so you spun around to face him for the last time that day to cut him off.
“Never fucking cross that line with me again, got it?”
And with that, you left.
//
Kevin apologized to you the morning after.
He normally drove you to school, and you debated getting into his car when he showed up. Thankfully you chose to do otherwise because the second you stepped inside, Kevin was apologizing profusely. He talked about how anxious he was all night when Hyunjae told him what happened, and he wouldn’t have known what to do if you didn’t forgive him. Obviously you did, and the rest of the car ride was spent with him explaining his side of the story.
According to Kevin, he only told Hyunjae about how you got cheated on because it seemed like Hyunjae already knew. As Kevin recalled the whole scene, you two assessed the signs, such as how Hyunjae didn’t provide any sort of reaction when Kevin dropped the news. In fact, it had seemed like Hyunjae had brought it up to Kevin instead.
Regardless, it became the last of your worries because all that mattered was that you were back to being on good terms with your best friend.
But avoiding Hyunjae felt like lighting a match in the rain.
It was your agonizing reality for the next two months, and although you could argue that you had gotten closer to your boyfriend during the supposed ‘Hyunjae Drought,’ you were still plagued with him being everywhere around you.
He was in all your classes, and you never truly processed the extent of how involved Hyunjae had always been throughout high school with you. You weren’t on the swim team, but you were stuck with him during meetings for both the broadcasting team and student council.
Yet it all felt so different.
Unless he was called on, Hyunjae would talk much less unprovoked and would never look at you during meetings. When he would address the entire team, he would glance at you for a split second before looking elsewhere, no longer watching you like a hawk.
You had also gotten quieter because without Hyunjae to banter with, you recognized that you barely had friends in any of those classes either.
There was no longer a fight between your flames, and you two kept as much distance as possible. You were thankful that there hadn’t been an instance that interrupted that, such as being forced to record more B-roll with him, and you could only hope that the rest of your senior year would remain the same.
Then you would never have to see him in college.
Now you were back to being the mediocre student that faded into the background. People knew your name at best, but none have ever tried to become your friend aside from Kevin. No matter how involved you tried to get, the closest you were to anyone was a classmate.
Hyunjae had always overshadowed you too, and for the first time in years, you were detached from his fumes—yet somehow, some way, the smoke from his fire would remain in your lungs, continuing to suffocate you even more than it had before. It didn’t give you that breath of fresh air of new friends or a better life; instead, it helped you realize that you didn’t matter. It was a miracle that you even scored Jiwoong as your boyfriend.
But then that begged the question: why did Hyunjae bother spending his time ridiculing you?
From the very beginning, you had always meant something to him, and you couldn’t pinpoint how or why. When there was no competition in academics, he treated it as if there was. Every time you ranted, he would listen, whether it be about him or something else. Even when you talked about how your chicken from the cafeteria was burnt, he would give you his own before calling you stupid for not noticing until you sat down.
He never shrugged you off like you were nothing or shut you down because your emotions were invalid. He entertained you each time with ease, and most importantly, he knew when to respect your boundaries. Hyunjae was probably the most mindful person you knew and could often tell when you were distressed or needed another form of reaction from him.
He knew when to stop.
Yet when it came to the one instance involving Jiwoong, he crossed the line multiple times. Why?
“Hyunjae isn’t here today.”
“Huh?”
“Didn’t show up for a single class.”
Kevin watched you play with your food with a fork, rolling the cold, barely spherical peas around and into the stale rice.
“That’s not like him,” he replied.
“Yeah.”
“I wonder why.”
“I wonder too.”
After the driest possible conversation in existence, you sighed and dropped your fork into your tray.
“I need to stop forgetting to pack myself lunch. This shit makes me lose my appetite, I swear. We should call the police and tell them the food they’re serving is illegal and a disgrace to this country.”
“Keep it away before I lose my appetite too.”
You didn’t react nor respond to what Kevin said, letting the conversation rot as you pouted at your food. The cafeteria was unusually louder today, making it easier to space out into thought.
Kevin took out his sandwich with a wide grin and started eating, grateful he never had to deal with what the school was feeding thanks to his mom, but eventually his eyes shifted over to you. You were unmoving with your gaze locked onto an empty spot on the table, so after moments of debating between asking you what’s wrong and ignoring you to devour his lunch, he opted to set his sandwich aside and stared straight at you.
“Why are you thinking about him?”
That was enough to garner your attention, your head snapping up to stare at your best friend like he was the craziest person you knew for mentioning Hyunjae, much less suggesting that your mind was wrapped around him.
“What?”
“Hyunjae. With his perfect attendance, a day without him should be a blessing, yet you brought up how he didn’t show up today and then moped harder than anyone I’ve ever seen mope. You should be over the moon, dancing on the tables and stealing people’s food, not-...” Kevin waved a finger at you, “whatever this is. You seem out of it.”
“Well it’s not because of Hyunjae, I’ll tell you that,” you snorted. Your eyes fell back down to your tray, and the more you looked at it, the more nauseous you got. You scrunched your nose. “If anything, it’s probably because of this shit food.”
Kevin rolled his eyes before tearing his sandwich into halves. You perked at the sight and ogled the half Kevin taunted you with. You were about to thank him and take it into your possession before Kevin jerked back his arm, making you whine.
“Throw away your food, then I’ll give you it.”
“Fine,” you grumbled. As Kevin returned to his delicious, most scrumptious, packed lunch you had ever seen, you picked up your tray and walked it to the nearest trash can. As you dropped the whole thing inside, you heard your name being called.
“Y/N!”
You whipped around to check to see who it was and smiled at the sight of Eunseo waving at you. You wouldn’t consider her a good friend, but you knew her well enough since she was the vice president of the student council.
She ran over to you with a stack of paper in her arms, relieved to have caught you.
“Y/N, hi! I’m so glad I found you. I was scared I wouldn’t because of how packed it is.”
She flashed you her usual glowing smile, and you noticed that she was a bit more giddy than usual, making you question why she was choosing to talk to you in the first place. All your conversations normally took place before, during, and after student council meetings, so this was slightly out of character.
“What’s up?” you asked. As you looked at her, you noticed how her outfit was slightly more put together than it normally was. She had on a cute top that suited her chest perfectly and a skirt that you had never seen her wear.
“Your outfit’s really cute today.”
“Really?!” Her bright demeanor then faded into concern. “Wait, is it too noticeable or out of the blue? Is it bad?”
“No, no. Not at all!” you reassured. “It’s just the right amount of perfect.”
“Great! God, that means the world coming from you. It’s because!...” She stopped to glance around, making sure that no one was eavesdropping, before taking a step closer to whisper. “It’s because I was finally asked out on a date by my crush!”
She could barely contain her excitement, holding back a squeal with her bottom lip latched between her teeth. Her sunshine-like energy made you grin.
“That’s great! I’m glad you’re making progress.” Your eyebrows pinched as you tried to recall the last time Eunseo had updated you about her crush. “You’ve been pining after him for so long—whoever ‘him’ is, anyway.”
The question of who Eunseo liked had always gone unanswered. She never told anyone, not even the ones who knew her best, but she loved gushing about her mystery crush to everyone she knew. All people really knew, you included, was how down bad she was.
A part of you wondered if it was someone you knew—someone pretty like Juyeon or well-known like…Hyunjae.
“Oh, I wish I could tell you, and maybe I will if things go really well and we become official!” She squealed and hopped in her spot, unable to resist giving you a half-hug with her free arm. “This is so exciting, Y/N!”
“I’m really happy for you.” Your smile was genuine until you thought about why she was looking for you, starting to doubt that she called you over just so she could tell you about her date.
“I’ll let you know how it goes, swear. But! That aside, I also have something for you.”
You knew it.
Your brows raised, and when you didn’t catch on, she gestured to the papers in her arms with guilt.
“I know this is kind of a dick move, and I’m really really sorry, but I promised to put up fliers for prom today. My date is right after my last class.” Her frown had deepened, and for a split second, you found yourself sympathizing with her because who wanted to let down such a cheerful personality, especially when this was life-changing for her?
“So you want me to do it?”
“Exactly! Please, that would be great. It shouldn’t take too long, too.”
You thought about how you would have to give up an evening of playing on your switch or extra time to study for an upcoming exam, but you knew it was your duty as secretary to help out whenever needed.
Not to mention that it would also make you a decent friend not to hold Eunseo back from her soon-to-be love life despite her poor date planning. If you were in her shoes, you would have wanted her to do the same for you too.
“Sure,” you accepted. “Why not?”
“You’re the best, seriously!” She handed you the fliers as she began to fill you in on the extra details.
“I already told Mr. Barajas that I wasn’t feeling well and that you were going to do it, so he said it all worked out and to not worry about it,” she rambled, happy to give the extra weight (both literally and metaphorically) to you. “I just printed these out, so everything should be perfect to go. Oh, and don’t worry about any extras! Just set them on Barajas’s desk when you’re finished. Hyunjae will also be in 142 with tape ready for you.”
The mention of the forbidden name nearly made every cell in your body halt.
“What?”
Eunseo tilted her head at you, confused, before finally realizing.
“Oh crap, I forgot! I’m so sorry, I really did forget you guys weren’t on good terms. I hope it’s okay that he’s helping you out. I mean, he’s supposed to, but it was meant for him and me to do it together, not you two, so…God, I’m really sorry Y/N.”
Before you could even react to the newfound information, she continued.
“I really have to go now. Thank you again! I promise I’ll make it up to you!” And with her rosy pink cheeks and a stunning shade of red on her lips, she basically skipped away and waved goodbye to you with a smile, so you reciprocated it with an awkward one of your own.
When she turned her back, your smile immediately dropped and you sighed heavily.
“Have fun on your date,” you mumbled, your eyes falling to fliers in your arms. As you skimmed the one on top, you noticed it was to promote going to prom while also including a big QR code to vote for who should be your school’s prom king and queen. You expected it since it was the last meeting’s topic of discussion, but what you weren’t aware of was who were listed as nominees.
There were eight names listed under ‘Prom Court,’ and while you expected Hyunjae’s, Eunseo’s, and your boyfriend’s names on it, your jaw nearly hit the ground at the sight of your own.
//
With every passing class period, your anxiety would kick up a notch.
The dread of talking to the face you had been avoiding for two months engulfed you, and it caused you to develop the urge to ditch your current class to go hunt for Jacob, the student council’s historian. You wanted nothing more than to dump the stack of fliers into his arms, and knowing Jacob, he wouldn’t ask any questions. Hell, you were certain that if you asked him nicely, he would do it for you because of how naturally sweet and endearing he was.
But the guilt of ditching your secretary duties kept picking at your skin, and besides, all you had to do was treat Hyunjae like a colleague. That should be easy, right?
As you suffered through the last few minutes of class and your teacher’s incessant ramblings about the upcoming exam, your thoughts drifted over to what would happen the moment you stepped into room 142.
Hyunjae hadn’t shown up to a single class all day, yet he was expected to set up fliers after school. As your thoughts snowballed, you arrived at the baseless conclusion that maybe Eunseo wasn’t aware that Hyunjae was absent today, therefore someone else (like Jacob) would take over.
Suddenly, your back had straightened with feigned interest in your teacher’s last few words. Something about Jacob being there instead of Hyunjae had excited you; it felt like you were free and that the universe was listening to your prayers. The gamble of seeing whether it would be Hyunjae or Jacob (or literally anyone else) had your right leg bouncing, eyes on the clock, and when the bell rang, you shot up from your seat, backpack over your shoulders and fliers in your arms, before dashing out of the classroom.
You sped down the hallway to 142, Mrs. Zhang’s room for Chemistry, bug-eyed, before having your delusions crushed at the sight of Hyunjae’s stupidly large height leaning against one of the counters. Your feet stood glued to the ground by the doorway, your eyes locked onto him.
Covered from head to toe in sweats, Hyunjae was immersed in whatever was on his phone, scrolling through something as his brown curls peeked out from inside his hood. Without any hint of him acknowledging your presence, your shattered hopes slowly began to rebuild.
Maybe if you were quiet enough, you could sneak out with the tape and do everything on your own, avoiding him at all. Actually, scratch that. You didn’t even need the tape. All you had to do was go to another teacher’s room, steal their tape for half an hour, and then return it with ease.
The plan was effortless, and you mentally smacked your forehead for not thinking of it earlier. Right as you were about to execute it, your backpack slammed against the doorframe as you turned on your heels.
“Nice try.”
You groaned out of embarrassment (and slight pain) and forced yourself to turn around. Hyunjae’s phone was now face down on the counter, and his arms were crossed over his abdomen. His face remained stoic as his eyes met yours, wielding a tension you didn’t recognize.
Now that you could properly look at him, you noticed a few details that you hadn’t before, such as the small tear on his lower lip and the bandaid on his cheekbone. If you looked long enough, you could catch light patches of purple across his skin, and the sight hindered all your thoughts, your brain too occupied with piecing together how he ended up like this.
“What happened?” you blurted, your gaze shooting up from his lips to his eyes.
Hyunjae staggered at your suddenty, but he managed to keep himself stilled, his brows pinching.
“What do you mean?”
Even if Hyunjae didn’t mean to, his question became an invitation for your unfiltered thoughts to spill out of your mouth.
“You didn’t show up for any of our classes today,” you began, “but now you’re here? For some stupid fliers? You’re barely dressed properly like you normally are, your hair isn’t straightened, you look pale, Jae, and what’s up with the bruises or the bandaid on your cheek–”
“Are you seriously psychoanalyzing me?” he asked with a scoff. There was no humor in his tone. Instead, it looked as if he was irritated, perhaps even more than you were.
Hyunjae barely met your eyes, and his arms closed himself off from you.
“What–?”
“You’re evaluating me like I’m some sort of lab project, Y/N.”
“No, no I’m not,” you rejected. “I’m just saying things are a little off.” You kept your eyes firm on his, even as he pushed himself off the counter with his phone and made his way over to you. “And you know, you really can’t blame me for being somewhat worried when one, you don’t show up, and two, you look like a whole mess—”
“Just hand over the fliers—” he interrupted, gritting his teeth as he outstretched his arm in your direction. You dodged him by turning your body 180 degrees and stood your ground.
“What happened?” you repeated, this time more firmly.
Hyunjae looked at you, a blank expression on his face, before turning back around to grab the roll of tape left on the teacher’s desk. When he returned, he shoved it into your arms while simultaneously stealing half the stack. You protested with an exclaimed ‘Hey!’ yet he didn’t bat an eye and skimmed over the contents of the flier on top.
Bothered by his lack of response, you frowned and made sure to block the doorway, refusing to let him leave until you received answers.
“Why are you acting like this? Pretending that I’m not even—”
“I’ll do upstairs, you do downstairs,” he muttered.
“Did you get into a fight? Why weren’t you here today? Why are you here now—”
“You’d think you’d know,” he finally answered, pushing past you like you weighed none less than a feather.
Your brain had fully malfunctioned at that point, unable to decipher what he meant as Hyunjae walked off to the nearest staircase. As his footsteps echoed down the hall, you thought about what he was implying yet came to no resolution. Did he assume that you were caught up in your school’s latest gossip? Or that you were the main admin for his biggest fan page on Instagram?
The idea made you snort, and you scowled bitterly at his childish attitude. It wasn’t like you were a complete stranger intruding on his personal life—hell, you felt like you deserved an explanation because of how you were forced to do this with him.
As you stormed off past the remaining lingering students to the nearest bulletin board, you questioned how you were going to do this on your own.
You had put up fliers countless times in the past few years yet never alone. Luckily, you had a general idea of where the fliers should go when it came to the school’s hallways, but as you approached your first destination, you struggled with ripping off pieces of tape while holding the stack at the same time. It would’ve been easier with a partner by your side, one who either did the tape ripping or placing of the fliers, but you weren’t desperate enough to fall into the role of a helpless princess in need of her pretty (useless) prince.
After some trial and error, you found a method that consisted of setting the stack on the ground occasionally so you could rip off pieces of tape. Then you would slap said pieces of tape onto your wrist, having them readily available as you put up a few fliers at a time.
Although slightly time-consuming, it was working well and kept you at a steady pace until you heard crashing footsteps behind you from afar. Without paying any mind to it, you bit back your curiosity in order to focus on the wall in front of you, but then you made the mistake of taking a step back, bumping into the person who was sprinting.
You lost your balance and fell forward before catching yourself shortly after. However, the fliers had already flown out of your arms, scattering across and down the long hallway.
Ready to curse out the offender for running down the hallway, you were surprised when you saw that it was Eunseo behind you, pouring out apologies while a loopy grin was smacked onto her face.
You steadied your anger and told her it was okay, getting down onto your knees to collect all the fliers. Her ‘sorry’s could only go so far with her smeared lipstick, a dazed gaze, and her hair holding the mold to someone else’s (presumably her crush’s) hands in them, but you still excused her, knowing that she was over the moon right now.
“It’s okay, Eunseo, I promise.” You forced out a chuckle as you crawled to scavenge for the ones that flew a few feet away.
“I really didn’t mean to,” she pouted, but it was shortly followed up with bubbly giggles. “God, Y/N, can you believe this? Oh, it’s going so well! I think I love him, I do.”
“Good for you,” you grumbled, hoping that she didn’t hear it as you continued to move down the hallway, hating how far the fliers had escaped from you. You also hated how she just stood there without intent on helping you at all.
“I have to really go now. Got volleyball practice soon, but I think I’m seeing him tomorrow too!” She waved you goodbye.
And just like that, she continued running off.
You stared at how you were only able to collect half the mess, hating how Eunseo had somehow managed to delay you even further from being in the comfort of your bed. You were also salty at how her date was taking place at the school, wishing she could’ve dragged him around while she taped stuff up before getting dick-downed of some sort.
Deciding that she and her business weren’t worth your time, you continued to pick everything up as quickly as you could, wanting nothing more than to go home.
When you finally finished collecting every last flier, you were prepared to get back into the groove of things before feeling your phone vibrate in the side pocket of your backpack. Wondering if it was something important, you took it out and beamed at the idea of it being a new message from Jiwoong.
Dating him felt like falling in love with him all over again whenever he texted. Your heart would pound in your chest when you thought about him and explode whenever he gave you his attention and time. You were addicted to him, especially knowing that he was yours after liking him since middle school.
So to say you were disappointed was far worse than an understatement. It was from a number you hadn’t saved yet always recognized and undoubtedly remembered by heart.
Of course it was Hyunjae.
You had Hyunjae’s phone number due to previous class projects and group chats, but you had never once saved it because you thought he was undeserving of being a contact in your phone. Nonetheless, with how the years have passed and how much his number infiltrates every group chat you were in, it was only fair that your brain had unintentionally memorized all ten digits.
The message he sent consisted of him saying that he was done with the fliers, and you rolled your eyes. Even after the way he treated you earlier, he still chose to let you know and brag about how fast he was.
You shoved your phone away vigorously, ready to return to your slapping-fliers-on-walls duty, before perking at the sound of footsteps behind you once more.
Automatically assuming it was Eunseo or another student staying after for a club or sport, you were stunned when you heard his voice.
“You’re not even halfway yet?”
In no fucking universe are you turning around; not for him.
“Go gloat somewhere else,” you snapped. The next flier you taped up was nearly slammed onto the wall, but Hyunjae was left unphased by your sudden outburst. He stood next to you and remained quiet, even when you left to place the next flier a few feet away on the opposite wall.
When he didn’t follow, you sighed out of relief, yet somehow you couldn’t help but peek at him, eyeing his hands that were tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. He was staring straight at the lopsided flier you had put up, and when you decided you had enough of peering at him, he was back by your side.
“What are you doing?” you grumbled. He was the one who pushed you away, yet now here he was, glued to your side like how he was two months ago.
“You’re taking too long.”
“I had a mishap,” you explained, “but that’s none of your concern.” The lines on your forehead bunched up, and you waved him off, bending down to place the stack on the ground. Figuring it wasn’t weird at all, you continued your method of ripping off pieces of tape and slapping it onto your wrist.
And Hyunjae was totally judging.
“You can’t be serious.”
“Just go home.”
Despite being on the ground and sitting on your heels, you could physically feel the heat on the back of your head due to his eyes burning a hole into your skull, and for a split second, you knew exactly what he was thinking.
“I can do it myself,” you explained.
“What are you even doing?”
“Can you just go?” You picked up the stack once again as you rose to your feet, doing your best to avoid whatever look was on Hyunjae’s face. He was probably stifling a laugh or keeping his expression smug, but when you did cave and peek, his face was still solemn, his eyes on your wrist with concern.
“You’re struggling.”
“Thank you for your observation, Mr. Obvious,” you retorted.
“Let me do it.”
Taken aback, you whipped your head over to his direction.
“You’re kidding.”
“You don’t even want to be here,” he reasoned through gritted teeth. “Just go, and you can thank me later.”
“Thank you?!” Appalled at his audacity, you couldn’t help but laugh out of disbelief. “Seriously, Hyunjae? You want me to thank you for stealing my job? Again? You can’t be fucking serious.”
“Because you can’t take any criticism ever, or in this case, any form of help, so just let me do it.”
Hyunjae was eerily calm about the whole ordeal, his energy far from matching yours.
“I do take help,” you refuted. “I just don’t take yours, and neither do I need it, too.”
“You’re so goddamn stubborn.” And within a blink of an eye, he had managed to snatch the stack of fliers from you.
“Hey!” you yelled, feeling as if it was deja vu from earlier (you really needed to step up your defense), and reached out to take them back, but he was quick to turn his body, shielding them from you.
“Give me the tape and go,” he urged, emotionless. The Hyunjae in front of you now was someone you truly didn’t recognize because the Hyunjae you knew would have made fun of you and held the fliers above your head, teasing you for being so weak.
Yet he stood still, creating a barrier between you and the duty that was forced upon you. You didn’t want to be here anyway, yet you were so insistent on making sure Hyunjae wasn’t stealing your work again. You weren’t incapable, and you hated how he always managed to be faster.
Even now, he was miles away from being playful with you, and yet he still had a way to shove it in your face.
“Hyunjae, I swear—”
“Give me the tape, and you can run off to your little boyfriend waiting for you by the entrance.”
Your lips parted at his words, eyes wide as you worked to comprehend his words. You questioned how he knew about Jiwoong’s whereabouts, how he knew that Jiwoong was waiting and that you didn’t, but knowing that he was serious, you reluctantly gave up and dropped the roll of tape on the ground, forcing him to pick it up.
You were sick of constantly arguing with him, and even if he was lying about Jiwoong, at least you would be away from Hyunjae. There was no point in fighting for your dignity anymore, not when Hyunjae’s narcissism was insufferable.
By walking away with heavy and quick strides, you hoped he felt humiliated by how poorly he was treating you—how he had always treated you like this.
As much as you wanted it to be true, you hoped Hyunjae was lying just so you had more evidence against his self-absorbed and shitty personality, but alas, you found Jiwoong standing precisely where Hyunjae said he was.
Regardless, all stress and frustrations had lifted from your being, and you called out to your boyfriend with a smile that would make your cheeks ache in minutes.
“Woong!” You waved your hands with a small bounce in your steps as you rushed over to him.
Your boyfriend’s head shot up, surprised to see you. His utter shock quickly switches to one of sheer happiness, tucking his device away before opening his arms for you.
“Hey, baby!”
You tossed yourself into his embrace, hugging him tight after pressing a quick kiss to his lips.
“What are you doing here?” With your face in his neck, your voice came out muffled, and it made Jiwoong laugh.
“Had to stay after to discuss my grades with a teacher, then I decided to stay back a bit for you.” He cooed and kissed the top of your head, holding you incredibly close. When you pulled back, his hands had moved from behind your backpack to your hips instead, holding them as you stared up at him.
“You were waiting for me?” you asked, eyes wide with stars in them.
“Of course I was, baby.”
You were radiating, feeling happier than ever. The last time you saw Jiwoong was a week ago, and with your clashing schedules, you two very rarely get the opportunity to make plans. Your hands rested atop his shoulders, and when he pulled you in for a kiss, you smiled.
But then it fell.
Something felt off.
//
If someone were to inquire Hyunjae about who his heart belonged to, your name would be his answer—whether he intended to say it or not.
Hyunjae had always been considered the school’s favorite. His intelligence may not be up to par with others, but his authority was what made him a prominent member of your high school. Some blame it on his looks, but most were aware enough to know that wasn’t the case.
Hyunjae knew how to think on his feet, and his problem-solving skills outwitted everyone within his grade level. Reaching tranquillity had never been an issue for him, allowing him to be levelheaded while making decisions. He emitted an aura that made classmates truly listen to him and the ideas he shared, and overall, it made him a great contender to lead every group and organization he was in.
Additionally, Hyunjae’s heart was what won over most people. His lack of vulnerability seemed to be his only flaw, but it was an obstacle he could overlook when it came to empathizing with others. By actively being involved in the community through volunteering and holding fundraisers, everyone could recognize Hyunjae’s devotion to hope for humanity.
All these traits were what led Hyunjae up onto the pedestal and the public eye, a household name for all families in the district. Titles and awards naturally gravitated towards him throughout the years, resulting in him winning the vote as president of your school’s student council and enough scholarships to provide him a full ride at most universities.
It was safe to say that competition against Lee Hyunjae was sparse, and you were no different.
Your grades would teeter around his standard, hence how you two collectively ended up in the same classes, but aside from that, you had nothing else that could compare to what he was capable of.
Except for one thing; your fury.
There was an inferno inside you at all times, and instead of your body shielding off your heart with steel, people around you would come to find out that your heart was the reason for that large blaze of fire, possessing a passion unlike any other.
Hyunjae had never once seen a peer with as much fight as you. It was a trait only you encapsulated, one that you weren’t afraid to express. You stood up for yourself and your beliefs, and it was easy to pick fights with him when he had been troubling you from the very moment you two were assigned to sit next to each other in seventh-grade algebra.
Hyunjae yearned for you ever since, his only want being your attention. You gave him the drive to succeed in high school and thrive in his senior year, and he was positive that he wouldn’t be doing this well without a reason to show off in front of you. He wanted your praise, your acknowledgment, but he loved the chase the most.
Unfortunately, that was the exact reason he ended up here.
The chase was what made him fall for every part of you, wanting nothing more than your lips on his and the ability to have you by his side at all times, but it was also what landed you with your current boyfriend.
It was like his life was a video game with God giving him the hardest difficulty setting by making sure you were obsessed with someone undeserving of all that he wanted. There wasn’t even a chance of you two possibly being friends in your eyes. Meanwhile, Hyunjae would argue that you two had more chemistry than any other couple in your class, but that hope was crushed, shredded, and stomped on when he found out you still devoted your love to Jiwoong.
Regardless, it didn’t change who you were as a person. Your heart was still just as large and beautiful, and your drive to succeed hadn’t lessened. The bickering never faltered, and it wasn’t like Hyunjae was opposed whenever you expressed disgust at the thought of him being turned on because of you (and that was because he found the idea of you thinking about him hot—yes, his expectations were that low).
So it was why after two months of almost zero to no contact, you treating him as if those months didn’t exist created the largest dilemma he had ever faced. He spent the next week thinking about your intentions and why you seemed to care so much, specifically right after when Hyunjae had willed himself to believe that he meant jackshit to you. You effortlessly toyed with his heart, leaving him in everlasting misery, while you seemed to do completely fine.
What was a typical and ideal lifestyle for you was a nightmare and tormenting hellhole for Hyunjae. He didn’t just crave the warmth and comfort from your undying flames.
He wanted to burn.
Insanity engulfed him on the days spent without you, leaving him to wonder why you had to make things extensively worse by pointing out his absence or how he had put less effort into his hair. Why did it seem like the concern you expressed was genuine? Why pretend that you cared for him as much as he cared for you?
He was going insane—so insane that he drove to a college party with three other friends in his sedan on a Wednesday night.
It was being held by a fraternity he and his friends were far more than familiar with thanks to Jongin, an upperclassman he met in his sophomore year and remained friends with since then. The beginning of the senior year marked the origin of parties and hook-ups in weak sporadic attempts to get over you.
At this rate, Hyunjae could argue that he was more experienced than half of the current college freshmen class. Getting girls in bed was the easiest part; the hardest part was forgetting about you. From what was a method created to move on from you became one that prepared him for when you wanted sex with him.
But with your constant longing for Jiwoong, Hyunjae made sure that this party would be different.
Although accustomed to having sex with various women, Hyunjae had never been one to drink. This was a fact about him that raised brows, specifically Jongin’s when he first tried urging Hyunjae with a drink, but tonight he vowed to change that. He was normally their designated driver, but when Hyunjae informed Sangyeon of his plan, the elder was more than delighted to remain sober so Hyunjae could get a taste of alcohol.
“Hey, man! It’s about time!” Jongin exclaimed the instant he found out about Hyunjae’s willingness to drink, pulling a fresh bottle out of the cooler specifically for his friend.
“That’s what I told him!” Sangyeon projected his voice over the music, giving Hyunjae a supportive pat on the back.
Hyunjae rolled his eyes at his friends’ remarks and thanked Jongin for the beer, hanging around by the counter as the three conversed and caught up. The two laughed at the way Hyunjae’s face scrunched up at the taste, Sangyeon shoving him lightly with the claim that Hyunjae was being overdramatic.
With his earlier mindless decision of tossing on a mesh long-sleeve shirt over his black tank top, Hyunjae had attracted another partygoer by his side momentarily after his first sip. She wrapped her arms around one of his and inserted herself into the conversation with hopes of getting Hyunjae in bed by the end of the night, and crazily enough, he considered it for a moment before feeling his phone vibrate in his back pocket.
Normally it would be something he’d ignore, but it remained persistent, signifying that he was receiving a call. He didn’t know who would be calling at this hour—well, aside from Minghao and his usual complaints about Hyunjae partying as a high schooler on a school night.
After setting the glass down on the counter to grab his phone, any urgency to intoxicate himself as quickly as possible vanished the very second he saw your name glowing on his screen. With an awkward retraction of his arm and a forced cough, Hyunjae excused himself and answered the call.
“Hello?”
With music pounding inside his ear canals, it was expected that he couldn’t hear anything you were saying. He navigated through various crowds to reach the entrance of the house, his heart replicating the booming vibrations from the loudspeakers as he prayed that you wouldn’t hang up on him.
“Okay, I…I should be free now,” he stammered after stepping outside. The sudden stillness of Mother Nature was a drastic change from the party scene, coercing him to focus on his racing heartbeat and the anxiety accumulating in his tightening chest. He was breathing heavily, both from pushing through people in a rush and also because of you.
You never failed to render him weak and helpless, leaving him like a puppy longing for their owner’s guidance.
There was a silence, but he could hear your gentle breaths hitting your phone.
“I need a ride.”
Hyunjae blinked, his body tensing up, as the many thoughts in his brain scrambled to make meaning of what you meant. However, it didn’t matter because you hung up shortly after, leaving him alone to revel in your words.
Your bluntness and suddenty made Hyunjae malfunction, his thoughts leading him to question if he had even heard you correctly. Rarely did you ever reach out to him, and what could you need him for? Especially after lashing out at him and ignoring him for two months? Of course, there was that one day a week ago when you two were forced to talk together, the day he was given a one-day suspension, but you two returned to treating each other like strangers like it was natural.
He stared at his phone in hopes of receiving more information, that you’d perhaps call again to reconfirm or say you had the wrong number. He felt like he was dreaming—that the person he had wanted for so long needed him for once, but he couldn’t help but also believe that this may be the beginning of another nightmare.
But it was you, and Hyunjae was willing to risk it.
After checking his call logs to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, he rushed back into the fraternity house, thankful he didn’t proceed with drinking any more than he did.
He found everyone exactly where he had left them (the girl included) and announced his departure. The girl made sure Hyunjae knew how disappointed she was, but that was his last concern as he grabbed the beer bottle and handed it to Sangyeon, giving him a pat on the back.
“Drink up and find an Uber.”
“No fucking way you’re leaving us this soon, man.” Jongin shook his head in disapproval, his forearms resting against the countertop.
“Another time, I promise, yeah?” Hyunjae started walking away, waving to them as his heart continued to thrum in his chest.
“He’s lying,” Sangyeon snorted, taking a swig before bidding Hyunjae a bitter goodbye. “You owe me!"
Hyunjae ran out of the house, his legs making quick and long strides as he ran to his parked car down the block. His newfound adrenaline made him think about what he was sacrificing to be with you. Was leaving the party and betraying his friends worth spending even a second with you? What if you were asking him to drive you and your boyfriend somewhere? Could his heart even deal with being used like that?
But as much as Hyunjae hated it, he knew he was making the right choice. The self-respect he had for himself was buried six feet deep beneath the surface of the earth when it came to you.
God, he really hoped he wasn’t hallucinating.
For a split second, Hyunjae truly debated what he was doing after getting into his car. He was already driving, but he didn’t know where to go. Luckily, it didn’t take you long to send him a text with your location, and it was a place he was familiar with.
It was a park that he often frequented as a kid since it resided by his old neighborhood, and he was thankful he knew exactly where to go because he knew he would’ve definitely crashed the car while pulling up your location on his GPS. Hyunjae was doubtful it was the alcohol in his system making his fingers shake and his mind uneasy. He blamed you for his hysteria, one that had developed over years of endless longing.
Luckily the drive wasn’t long thanks to the roads being mainly void of other vehicles (and maybe he did speed a few times, but he considered it justified). Before pulling into the parking lot, he spotted a lone figure curled up on a nearby bench. A small weight had been lifted off of him, relieved it was just you, and he parked aimlessly while his eyes rested on you.
You seemed unphased by his added presence, your arms unmoving as they stayed wrapped around your legs. The bench you were sitting in was facing away from the parking lot, but with his headlights illuminating the view in front of you, you certainly had to know he was there.
In an ideal world, Hyunjae would leave his car, join you by your side, and, if he was lucky, he’d pull you into his arms and hold you close against his chest. He wanted to be there for you in whatever way he could, but he ended up being a deer in headlights, too afraid to make the wrong move and lose you again.
He sat there for a minute, watching you, and as soon as he received the confidence to reach for the handle of his door, you were up on your feet. His fingers paused midair as he traced your movements, his arm eventually falling to his side as you approach his car.
Despite how slow his mind was working, Hyunjae knew to unlock the car right as you opened it (he would’ve died out of embarrassment if he had forgotten), and neither of you greeted the other.
Without any explanation from you, Hyunjae refrained from staring at you like he normally would, but your outfit made it incredibly difficult. It wasn’t much, just an oversized long-sleeved shirt that reached your thighs, but it was far from the usual clothes he’d seen you wear, like jeans and a nice-fitting blouse. For a moment, he believed you had no pants on, but then he knocked some sense into himself, realizing that you were probably wearing shorts that were hidden.
While Hyunjae attempted to keep his composure and respect your boundaries, you were eyeing him shamelessly, once again analyzing every detail about him. Beads of sweat pooled up on the back of his neck, and his hair was straightened yet fuzzy. As your eyes trailed downwards, you noticed how the mesh hugged his biceps, catching every crease that defined his muscles. He was quiet, his index finger resting against his lips.
Where did he even come from?
And why was he so quick to listen?
You held back your tongue from dumping out your thoughts, knowing your questions would end up unanswered like before. Your body instinctively rested against the divot between the car door and your seat, keeping your distance from Hyunjae. He was meant to be a stranger, perhaps someone you loathed, yet there was an odd comfort that encased you from him just sharing the same air as you.
You cleared your throat, turning your head to look away when he flinched and snapped his gaze towards you.
“Drive.”
Your demand was no louder than a whisper, but Hyunjae picked it up effortlessly and was already backing out.
“Where to?”
“Anywhere.” Hyunjae raised a brow at your answer, and you buried yourself further into his seat, directing your gaze out the door. “Just-...anywhere, Jae.”
The nickname had his throat tightening and his chest leaping, nodding in your direction as he drove on autopilot. With no destination in mind, he strolled through familiar roads, his fingers tapping against the wheel.
You stayed silent, creating a tension that was unbearably thick, yet none of you felt the need to leave; neither of you wanted to leave the other, even if it meant having to deal with the looming elephant in the room (or in this case, Hyunjae’s car).
After spotting the recreational center from afar and its empty parking lot, he instinctively pulled in. There wasn’t a proper explanation for why he decided it’d make a great destination, especially when it was the place that created a rift in your relationship with him, but it felt right.
It was empty, open, and serene—a perfect place to stay as the moon shined.
Hyunjae stepped out of the car after parking in the middle of it, and when you didn’t follow, he moved to your side and opened the door. He was hesitant but took the risk of offering his hand to you, a warm, nervous smile on his face. He wanted you to know he was there to listen, to be there for you, because, Lord, he would hand you the world if he could.
“I’m not in the mood for walking,” you mumbled, but Hyunjae shook his head.
“We’re not going to walk, I promise.”
Your eyes flickered up to his briefly, skeptical of what he had planned, but ultimately caved. You ignored his hand, and he pulled it back with regret. When you stood there, your eyes on the sky, he closed the door behind you and guided you to the hood of his car.
Without a second thought, he sat on top of it and gestured for you to do the same.
“I sit here all the time. Helps me think.” He leaned back against his windshield, his hands holding the back of his head as he kept his eyes on the sky. When you didn’t move, he started to feel stupid, wondering if you two were better off in the car, but then you joined him.
You copied his position, staring upwards as your hands rested over your abdomen.
Hyunjae opted to keep to himself, deciding that he didn’t want to make this worse for the two of you. Instead, he fixated his thoughts on the stars in the sky.
There were only a few, but it was a rare sight due to the constant air pollution in your city, so he considered it a miracle. You, on the other hand, were spacing out in thought, and Hyunjae could tell through his occasional peeks. Without much control, his eyes started tracing down your arms. They then landed on where the hem of your shirt rested, now looking at your bare thighs.
Feeling as if he just reverted back to being the shyest virgin in the country, he gulped and immediately looked elsewhere, trying to get you off his mind despite you being right next to him. His racing heart was all that he could hear, and now he wondered if you could hear it too—if you knew how much you affected him.
And your voice broke the silence.
“How long have you known?”
Okay, maybe his brain did fall out of his skull because Hyunjae had no idea what you were talking about. He turned his head and caught how you stared up at the sky. Your eyes were glossy, holding the reflections of the whole galaxy within them. They sparkled, and for a beat, Hyunjae had forgotten your question, too infatuated with your beauty.
His silence resulted in you turning your head, gaze meeting his, and that was when he noticed the tears.
“About Jiwoong and Eunseo.”
Your light, your flames, his burning desire; all were gone in a flash.
Your voice was delicate, and Hyunjae knew that with one move, he could break you.
Directing his gaze heavenward, Hyunjae sighed and brought his arms down to rest over his chest. Somehow he was able to feel all the pain you were experiencing, his heart twisting while his stomach churned and sloshed around in his body. He thought about how to respond as he chewed on the inside of his lip, questioning if he should answer at all to avoid hurting you.
But you asked, and as always, Hyunjae delivered.
“I don’t think I ever really knew until last week,” he explained, “but I could always tell.” Suddenly, the fight from a week ago had resurrected, and Hyunjae was forced to relive it all.
The hallways were empty when Hyunjae left the broadcasting room, a backpack strap slung over his shoulder while the other dangled behind him. He was in the middle of scrolling through his emails when he picked up on the sound of Jiwoong’s voice around the corner.
His footsteps halted, and Hyunjae caught Jiwoong’s fatal words.
“How does tomorrow sound?”
Eunseo’s squeals followed after, and Hyunjae stood motionless.
At first, Hyunjae had no thoughts circulating in his brain, but after hearing their lips collide, he started coming up with solutions, such as interrupting or taking a video to send to you. Unfortunately, before he could act on either of them, he heard footsteps dashing off, practically skipping, as the two bidded one another goodbye.
Hyunjae couldn’t pinpoint the reasoning behind his upcoming actions, but he knew how to describe how he felt.
Anger was the first and only emotion to surge up within him, his fingers instinctively balling up into fists. His muscles had tightened while a forest fire ran rampant through his veins, causing his blood to boil.
Then with quick strides, Hyunjae shoved his phone away and made a sharp turn around the corner, tossing his backpack on the ground after spotting Jiwoong against the lockers. The latter had a dazed look on his face, his lips curled into a smirk as he typed away on his phone, but that was changed once he looked up at the sound of Hyunjae’s backpack crashing against the ground in front of him.
There wasn’t a second in between Jiwoong’s face of surprise and Hyunjae’s arm being raised, and before Jiwoong could react, Hyunjae’s fist had slammed into his jaw.
It was a blur from there, but Hyunjae knew he had won even after authorities dragged him off Jiwoong’s body. He had received a few jabs in return, but it was nothing compared to the black eye Hyunjae gave him.
The fact that Jiwoong managed to cover it up with makeup the day after was a miracle, and no one in the school knew about the fight since it happened after school. Hyunjae wanted it to stay that way, but a selfish, cruel part of him wished that everyone knew how sick your boyfriend was.
Well, now he was unsure if he was still your boyfriend.
Hyunjae turned his head back towards you, his cheek meeting the cold metal of his car.
You pursed your lips at his response and nodded slowly. If it were any other day, you wouldn’t have believed him. There was no universe where you’d choose to listen to Hyunjae over Jiwoong, but after a week of investigating and getting your head out of your ass, you found out on your own terms, and all the pieces made sense.
“I didn’t mean to.”
Hyunjae’s voice jerked you out of your thoughts, and as you adjusted to look back at him, you were surprised to still find him staring at you.
“I’m not a violent person, Y/N,” he whispered, an enduring hope lingering in his eyes. He wanted you to believe him, and for once, you did; you truly understood the man you hated most.
“I know, Jae.”
Hyunjae eased at your words, and the two of you fell back into a more comfortable yet aching silence. His fingers drummed against his abdomen, and after a while, he got sick of looking at the same four stars, so he closed his eyes, focusing on enjoying the light breeze instead. His heart was still racing, but it was less alarming. Regardless, he hated knowing that he potentially contributed to how much you were hurting right now.
Maybe if he had done something to prevent it earlier, whether it be telling you as soon as he found out or keeping completely out of your business so you could live in bliss, or, if he wasn’t so scared, he could’ve asked you to be his far before Jiwoong had. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed much, but Hyunjae would never know since he never tried, and now he was going to beat himself over it because now you’re devastated over losing your boyfriend and it was potentially his faul—
You laughed.
Hyunjae snapped his head towards you, his brows raised at your sudden change in mood—but it wasn’t the type of laugh he expected. Your laugh was one filled with pain, and he watched you shake your head, trying to refuse the tears that were rapidly welling up in your eyes once more. You sniffed and wiped the tears away with the back of your hand, choosing to look in the opposite direction because the last thing you wanted was for Hyunjae to see you vulnerable.
“It’s stupid,” you murmured. “This entire thing is stupid. I’m so fucking dumb.”
His lips parted to interject, to tell you that you were, in fact, ‘not dumb,’ but he clamped his mouth shut, knowing that his words probably wouldn’t help. From what he’d learned in the past, you liked it least when he tried telling you otherwise, no matter the situation.
“I should’ve known. I did know. The whole world knew. Even you knew, but it makes me think, was Eunseo just flocking around, flaunting to everyone that she had a crush on my boyfriend and managed to win him over? I just—I…I don’t know-...” You paused to catch your breath, beginning to choke on your tears as your chest shook, “I don’t know what I did wrong, you know?”
You shut your eyes, allowing the pain to engulf you. You knew fully well that your punishment was to deal with the pain, but you felt like you didn’t deserve it—that you deserved none of this. Why was this a penalty for being in love?
It was humiliating having everyone witness the reality you shielded from yourself, choosing hope and love over the truth.
“I just never felt more stupid in my life, and I feel even more stupid knowing that I still love him.”
Hyunjae sucked in his lips, gnawing on them as he bit back all his feelings, from his brain shredding to his heart weeping.
“I love him so much that I would let him do it to me all over again because I keep thinking he’d be better. I know he can be better, so why-...It’s just- Why do I do this to myself?”
Tears cascaded down your cheeks, each one leaving behind a trail for others to fall. They started pouring out of you rapidly, soon sobbing at the heart-wrenching pain of being betrayed by everyone in your life, Hyunjae included, because why, out of everyone, was he here for you when he should be the last person who cared?
You always wanted Hyunjae to be the antagonist of your life story, to have him as your biggest enemy and threat, so why was everyone else but him hurting you? Why was the villain of your fantasy taking the role of your knight in shining armor?
And yet, as much as it pained Hyunjae to process all your emotions, his mind wasn’t running correctly; he had you alone for the first time in months. He wanted nothing more than to pull you in his arms and whisper words of comfort in your ears, knowing you deserved it more than anyone, but he also wanted to shake you awake and slap you out of your misery, praying that you’d forget about Jiwoong; that right now, you being vulnerable was his chance to swoop in, to set whatever you wanted him to into flames, as long as if it meant you’d end up okay.
You sat up because if you lied down any longer, you would’ve started drowning in your own tears. Your sleeves were soaked, and he sat up alongside you, figuring that he should do something about it.
Hyunjae got back onto his feet and stood in front of you. He barely knew what he was doing, but that didn’t stop him from replacing your sleeves with his cold, clammy hands over your cheeks. There wasn’t a time that Hyunjae could recall where he had been this gentle with someone, and when you didn’t push him away, he tilted your head up to look at him.
Even with tears running down your cheeks, you looked angelic as ever.
Each droplet mirrored a star from the sky, and your eyes sparkled as they stayed locked on his.
“Take me,” you whispered, and Hyunjae’s whole world stopped.
“...What?” Hyunjae had only intended to wipe your tears away with the pads of his hands, perhaps whisper something along the lines of him being here for you for the night (and the rest of his life, let’s be honest), yet your first words were—no, he had to have been hallucinating.
Your hands trembled as they reached for his wrist, and although you were severely broken, the grip your fingers created was firm.
“Please.”
Like a moth to a flame, Hyunjae admired how pretty you looked, your lips plump and eyes wide, and he wanted nothing more than to take you into his backseat and treat you the way he’d always wanted to, especially after hearing your pleas, but he knew better. You both knew better.
“What exactly are you implying?” he asked, feeling like you had just inhaled all his oxygen and left him breathless.
You released his wrist and opted to hold onto his sleeve, tugging on it as you tried to get him to understand you.
“I want it to hurt, Jaehyun.”
Your tears were gone, and there was a hint of dominance in your tone that would’ve had him dropped to his knees in front of you. You were also one of the very few who resorted to calling him Jae, and now his actual name. He favored Hyunjae, but after hearing ‘Jaehyun’ from your lips, his preference had completely made a turnaround.
But Hyunjae worked to collect his thoughts, fully aware that this was wrong and he’d have to be the bigger person here. As much as he hated himself for giving up the perfect opportunity to have the girl of his dreams, he couldn’t ignore the large concern over your current mental state.
“You’re not thinking straight, Y/N,” he reasoned softly, his fingers reaching up to brush your hair out of your face, and for a second, Hyunjae swore he felt the alcohol kicking in—or perhaps it was you instead. The thought of being able to have you right now, to touch you and press his hands over your skin, to have you as his for just this night, was so intoxicating that he was seconds away from foaming at the mouth.
“I don’t need to think straight. I don’t want to think at all.”
Everything felt hotter and tighter, but he kept his composure, though with his eyes dropping to your begging lips and then your delicate fingers, he knew he was beginning to lose whatever was left of his sanity.
But he also knew you were using him; you had to be. There was no other explanation. It was only minutes ago when you professed how you continued to feel about Jiwoong—that your heart still belonged to him, and Hyunjae was allowed nowhere near it. He was your backup, your second option, yet that happened to be better than nothing, right?
Especially when he could have you right here, right now.
“You’re using me.”
Your expression didn’t falter.
“Then say no. Make us go back into your car and drive me home.” Your hand dropped from holding onto his sleeve but that was so you could wrap your arms around his neck, slowly bringing yourself closer to him. His cheeks were flushed as his mind flooded with possibilities of what could happen. Never had you ever wanted him, and he’d been dreaming of a moment like this for years. Your tear-stained cheeks, your pouty red lips—he wanted all of you.
“But you won’t,” you whispered, your breath hitting his skin. Your eyes landed on his lips, now craving him as much as he craved you. You needed a release, an outlet, to justify Jiwoong being better than Hyunjae. Hyunjae was worse in every way possible, and you wanted him to prove that to you. “You’d do anything I’d say, wouldn’t you?”
“What makes you say that?” Little did you know Hyunjae was crumbling inside, completely melting as his fingers grew weak at the idea of your lips on his. His hands, although wary, traveled to your waist, feeling your curves before trailing his hands down to your hips to grip them.
“You love me, don’t you?”
His heart stuttered, all words caught up in his throat, but he knew there was no defending himself—not when he was practically drooling at every move you made; he was hyperaware of the hand playing with the hair on his nape, the way your lips nearly hovered over his, and how your tears glistened under the moonlight.
His entire existence was confirmation of your words, and you knew it.
“You’d do anything for me, Jae. What’s stopping you now?”
There was a stillness as you two stared at one another. He swallowed and pulled slightly back.
He knew better.
“You don’t want me.” He was brokenhearted, a part of him understanding that you’d never be his, yet he wanted you in so many ways, wishing to have your mewls fill his ears and the smell of sex staining his clothes. The bulge in his pants was forming and pressing up against the tight confinement, making him groan.
He dropped his head downwards, his forehead leaning to rest against yours, as he closed his eyes and did his best to regulate his breathing—repeating in his head and out loud, again.
He knew better.
“You’re using me.”
You both knew better.
Yet with your lips ghosting his and your eyes half-hooded, you were prepared to give into the dark side.
“And I say take advantage of it.”
Hyunjae dived and pressed his lips onto yours, hunger driving his every movement. There was no stopping when he felt your lips curling up into a grin, his hands shifting to wrap around your torso to drag you closer. His heart burst at how perfectly his lips molded with yours, and it seemed as if there was fire shooting up into the sky and exploding—they weren’t fireworks, and the explosion was far bigger and more dangerous. It lit the entirety of the sky, the moon and stars included, into flames, a desire unlike any other.
Your left hand pressed firm against the back of his neck while the other traveled through his hair. Meanwhile, his hands had snuck beneath your shirt and felt for your lower back. Heavy breaths left the two of you as desperation crept through your veins, dictating your every movement.
The cold touch from his hands ignited your nervous system, every sense activated and overstimulated by Hyunjae as you released a breathy moan into his mouth.
You didn’t want him, but fuck, you needed him.
When you would pull back, his lips would chase yours, and you two fell into an endless cycle. He couldn’t even fathom how you were pulling away for air when you were his oxygen. Maybe you weren’t oxygen itself, but the fumes you emitted had already replaced his need for air, deluding him into believing that you were what he needed to stay alive.
You were suffocating, toxic, and destructive, and he wanted more.
After retracting from the kiss for the nth time, you turned your head to hold Hyunjae back from continuing. You both were panting, your cunt soaking, and he stared into your eyes like a puppy awaiting their next direction.
“Good boy,” you praised, and he laughed lowly and sheepishly, dropping his head as he processed what happened and the idea of it being potentially over.
“You’re lethal,” he breathed out.
“And you’re pitiful,” you spat. There was a playful grin on your lips, but those words ignited something within Hyunjae. He raised his head and cocked a brow at you, questioning your genuinity.
Just minutes ago you were crying over a guy that treated you terribly, and yet here you thought you had the authority to call him weak.
Perhaps he was; he was falling deeper into your pitless trap, enticed with every movement of yours, but he knew for a fact you weren’t any better than him.
You both were sick in the head for falling for people that treated the other like shit, yet your drive, your fuel, to win over the hearts of the people you loved was so strong, and it made you two unstoppable.
Hyunjae would punch Jiwoong all over again if he could.
Without a second thought, Hyunjae ducked his head down and ruthlessly attached his lips to your neck, eliciting a gasp from you. He kissed your skin fervently, his fingers teasing the rim of your shorts, and your hands shifted to hold onto his shoulders for support. You found yourself tossing your head back, providing him more room to do as he pleased, that if Jiwoong were to see you with marks on your neck, then maybe he’d want you back.
“Bold of you to call me pitiful,” he grumbled, sucking onto your neck until a blot of purple began to form.
“But it’s true, no?”
“You’re just as bad, Y/N.” He licked a stripe up your neck and over the mark, and the sensation made you cringe, disgust itching at your skin due to being covered in his saliva, but you wanted more of it. You wanted Hyunjae to treat you like you were nothing, to treat you worse than Jiwoong ever had, so you could direct your blame over to Hyunjae instead of your unknowing boyfriend.
You turned your head and slotted your lips with his again, already addicted to how perfect they were for you. Hyunjae knew the exact way to kiss you, to keep you on your toes, as your slick pooled up in your underwear at the mere thought of Hyunjae touching you.
The kiss was eager, a fight for control, and when Hyunjae didn’t surrender, you raised your knee, forcing your thigh to brush up against his crotch.
He gasped at the sensation and pulled away, bangs hanging over his eyes as he looked down at the sight. You teased him by keeping your touches gentle, but you made sure to keep your leg moving. Nothing intrigued you more than seeing Hyunjae beg or rut against your thigh, further proof of how pathetic he was for you. You gained a sense of ego knowing that he could have any girl in the world, that he has had every girl, and yet he would always come back to you. Now that you had him, it would be harder for him to return to a life without you under him, moaning his name.
You wanted to be his downfall.
Your nails latched onto the mesh, taking note of how easy it would be to rip the material, before pressing your thigh firmly up against his dick, making him jerk.
“You’re-...oh my god, Y/N,” he gasped, breathless. His eyes meet your devious ones, how you were basically Satan himself, and somehow, someway, he wouldn’t ask for anything different. “You’re playing a losing…a losing- game.”
“What more do I have left to lose?” There was some truth in your words as vulnerability struck you. Your leg then lowered as you regained a slight sense of reality, realizing that you were forcing Hyunjae into being your selfish source of relief. You hated Hyunjae, sure, but you knew this was the last thing he deserved—to use him when he’d been nothing but accommodating to you.
And your sick and twisted plan was that after this encounter, you’d leave him to rot.
Hyunjae didn’t deserve that at all.
But Hyunjae was already too far gone, too intoxicated, to even consider the repercussions of how he’d end up after this. The loss of contact with his crotch was what had him picking you up from his car, the tips of his fingers digging into your thighs, as he led you to the backseat.
Your eyes widened, your senses fully back, but you made him like this, and you were going to pay for it. Although scared for about what’s to come, the anticipation had you drooling, your lips pressing fierce kisses onto his skin while he opened the door with you in his arms.
He laid you down gently and crawled over you, keeping you trapped between his arms.
“This is what you wanted, right? For me to tear you apart until you can run back to Jiwoong and justify how poorly he treats you?”
Your brows bunched up at his words, your legs getting antsy being under him. There was no answering him, not when Hyunjae already knew how you were going to respond.
He brought one of his hands into your shorts and made the aggravating decision to slide his fingers over your underwear, depriving you of contact with his fingers.
Yet even with your underwear being a divider, he found your clit with ease and immediately started rubbing circles into the bud, making you buck your hips with a whine. The friction of the cloth was something you were unfamiliar with, and lord did it mess with you.
“You want me to treat you how he sees you? Worthless and undeserving of respect?” He flicked your clit and kissed your jaw. “If that’s what you want, that’s exactly what my princess is going to get.”
“Fuck,” you moaned, using your hands to push onto his shoulders and force him down. The drive to ride his tongue was strong, and if he kept teasing you, you would have lost it.
“I know you inside and out, Y/N. I know you better than him, and this is how you treat me.” He sucked in a cheek but ultimately decided to comply with what you wanted. He pulled off your shorts yet left your underwear on, and his brows raised. He wasn’t sure how his fingers had missed the texture of lace, but what you were wearing was certainly lingerie.
You looked down to see why he stopped, and when you realized why he froze, heat rose to your cheeks.
“I wanted to feel pretty,” you whispered, shutting your eyes after turning your head. It was embarrassing, now that you thought about it, but Hyunjae’s heart soared, and he wanted nothing more than for you to know how ethereal you looked.
But he shoved the feeling away, allowing his frustrations to get the better half of him.
When he pulled off your underwear, he cooed at how your essence oozed onto the material and raised the undergarment into the air, waiting for you to look.
“Did I do this?”
His mocking tone kept you from looking, but your curiosity got the best of you. You were met with the sight of a large wet, dark patch on your underwear, biting down on your lip as you looked at him with wide eyes. If you thought about it, you couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, or if there ever had been a time when you craved someone this badly.
He tossed it to the side and his hands massaged your thighs, keeping them spread open so he got a proper view of your core on display for him. The sight truly stunned him, reminding him that this was you he fantasized about and replicated with other girls—no one else.
“Do you normally take this long?” you rasped, tossing your head back against the seat, and Hyunjae rolled his eyes.
“I do you a favor, and this is how you treat me.”
“A favor is a stretch—”
Hyunjae plunged two fingers into your mouth, having them press firmly down against your tongue. He latched onto your jaw and pulled your head forward and up towards him, having your eyes meet his.
“Remind me, Y/N, who was begging for this?”
He dropped your head back down against the seat before you could even respond and used whatever saliva accumulated in your mouth as temporary lube, figuring that your slick would help him with stretching you out. You grunted at the impact, feeling helpless, as Hyunjae finally inserted his fingers inside of you.
Hyunjae’s fingers were enough to have your eyes rolling, but it was the ring that he wore that stimulated you the most. You weren’t aware that he was even wearing one, yet the cold band against your raging wet heat made you whimper and desperately grasp for his hair.
“Jaehyun, please,” you begged.
He chuckled and kept his movements slow, forcing you to fuck yourself onto his fingers weakly. When you did, he was in awe at how stunning you looked, how you seemed to be in your own world, and how you were enjoying him. By curling his fingers, a moan was pulled from your throat, making your eyes open as you looked at him. You continued to pool around his fingers, your voice weakly begging for so much more than his fingers and the cold air that brushed against your skin.
Never had you felt more vulnerable, but Hyunjae never once made you feel like you were doing something wrong, making you cling desperately to him. You forced his face down into your crotch and jerked at the feeling of his nose brushing up against your clit.
“Shameless, aren’t you?” he commented, laughing lowly, but you were too out of it to care.
“Shut the-...F-fuck, oh my god.”
Your whines had gotten more incessant the more useless he became, his fingers now completely stilled inside of you as he watched you roll your hips with a cheeky grin. He wanted to drag this out for as long as possible, knowing fully well that he could last all night.
When he took out his fingers, you were yanked out of your bliss and nearly begged for him to put them back in, but before you could get a word out, he had replaced his digits with his tongue. Your slick was dripping onto his lips, and as he dragged his wet muscle up and down your folds, he made sure to collect a small puddle of you onto his tongue to eventually swallow, wanting to savor you.
“Oh-...Oh my god, Jae—” Your orgasm was approaching, unsure of how it was here so soon, but you recognized the signs from the coil in your chest tightening to losing every sensation to the man beneath you. You rocked your hips continuously onto his tongue, and his thumb attached to your clit, making you see stars with how rapid his movements were.
He pulled his face back and forced his fingers back into you, and the final curl was what made you reach your peak, your hips in the air as you cried out his name.
As you came down from your high, you caught a glance of the way Hyunjae was looking at you; to him, you were otherworldly, and it was a sight he’d never forget. He wondered if Jiwoong ever saw you like this, if he ever made you feel this way, and suddenly his admiration had soured and contoured to something of darkness, rid of any empathy as he now looked at you with some form of disgust.
“All this for me, and you still have the fucking audacity to choose him.”
The mention of Jiwoong had your eyes wide open, tears reappearing at the mention and while being in your most vulnerable state. Your legs shook from the aftermath, feeling too weak to continue, yet Hyunjae seemed to have other plans.
Instead of shoving his fingers back into either of your mouths, he hovered over you and made sure you saw the way he dragged his fingers around your abdomen, drawing aimlessly over your skin with your essence before dragging a hand up to your breasts, massaging one of them as his other hand rested by your waist.
“Tell me, Y/N, did you buy this for him and never got to use it? That’s why you’re wearing it now with me? Am I your sloppy seconds?”
There was a slight growl under his tone, and while you shook your head subconsciously, he worked to remove your shirt, wanting a better look at your bra, before being met with a necklace you had been hiding; one with Jiwoong’s name.
And Hyunjae took no time breaking it from your neck.
Your jaw dropped, and you snapped out of your daze by sitting straight up, yet as you were about to yell at him for breaking your necklace, he shoved three fingers back into your pussy, shutting you up by having you moan at the intrusion.
“It looked cheap, anyway,” he muttered, forcing his mouth against yours momentarily to nip on your lower lip, tugging on it so your focus remained on him.
“That was—he’s mine,” you forced out, gasping at every thrust he made with his fingers, your sweet spot being abused as your hands latched onto his shoulders. You made sure your nails dug into his skin, wanting it to hurt, before pulling onto the mesh, wishing for it to tear.
“He’s not yours, princess. Tell me, how can you say that when his dick has been up other girls?” With his free hand, he grabbed your face and made sure you were staring straight at him before shoving it to the side.
“You need to fucking wake up and realize that you can dream all you want about how he’d react if he saw you hopping on my dick, but guess what? He wouldn’t care.” Hyunjae pulled out his fingers and left you alone in the backseat.
You sat there, a wreck and vulnerable, as you tried to catch your breath. You lay back on your forearms, curious eyes following his every movement.
“There’s a reason he hasn’t left you yet,” Hyunjae explained, opening the front door to his car to grab a condom and his phone. He tucked both into his back pocket before returning to you, bringing your lips to his before continuing to talk within the kiss.
“He’s stringing you along so you can boost his ego. He knows you will always be there for him, and you allow him to use you like that?”
You wrapped your fingers around Hyunjae’s neck, squeezing it before pushing it away to keep your distance, your frustration starting to grow.
“I’m beginning to think you’re all bark and no bite, Jaehyun,” you muttered, and with whatever strength you had left, you pushed him against the seat and got into his lap. Without hesitation, you started rocking your hips over his clothed dick, hoping your slick would seep in so he could feel you.
He hissed but allowed you to do as you pleased, his grip tight on your hips.
“I-...I think…if you asked me, you’re the one who’s projecting. I’m the one in a relationship, and you’re just a side piece.”
The speed of your hips increased, and Hyunjae felt ecstasy on the tip of his tongue, the confinements of his pants physically paining him the more you continued.
“You’re jealous, Jae. Just admit it.”
You pulled at his hair, loving the absolute control you had over him at that moment, but in one languid motion, Hyunjae managed to push you back down, this time with your stomach against the seats. You could feel your bodily fluids sticking to the nylon, and with how hard Hyunjae was pressing down into you, you were barely given a chance to move.
With one hand on your lower back, he kept you still as he took out both his phone and condom, making sure to place both on top of your bare skin.
“What’s there to be jealous of when you’re here under me? You want to be fucked stupid? Fine. Don’t fucking complain when you want me to be the villain.” You lurched at his words, refusing to let him win, but you were completely unable to do much damage as Hyunjae kicked off his pants and boxers while still keeping his weight on you.
He then picked up his phone and pulled up the camera, making sure to take a photo of you in his car before clicking record and tossing the phone onto the ground, hoping it was close enough to pick up on your sweet noises.
“Make sure to be loud for me, yeah? I’m sure Jiwoong would love it if I sent that video to him.”
“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” you bit back, your hand reaching out in an attempt to grab the device, but Hyunjae was quicker to grab your wrist, pinning it behind your back.
“I wouldn’t because I know how to appreciate what’s mine.” Hyunjae released his hold on you to roll on the condom, giving you the opportunity to move and take his phone as you pleased. To your dismay, there was no more effort left within you, only an ache to feel Hyunjae inside you.
“He appreciates me,” you mumbled, trying to convince yourself otherwise as you waited.
“Does he record you? Jerk off to your moans every night? Because I would, Y/N, just for you.” His voice was now by your ear, and when you turned your head to look at him, he pulled you into another hungry kiss, his dick now grazing against your hole.
“You’re fucking insane,” you bit back into the kiss, and he grinned against your lips, guiding his dick into you as he spoke.
“Psychotic, just for my princess.”
Venom laced his voice, dripping menacingly, and the insertion of his tip had you grasping for something in front of you, anything, and it was only then that you were able to process how thick his cock was.
“Can you take it?” he asked, his voice slightly softer than before. When you gave him a curt nod, he continued pushing in further. Maybe lube should’ve been an option, but you were so wet for him that it didn’t matter, knowing that the stretch probably would have hurt regardless.
“Fuck, fuck—he really doesn’t know what he’s missing,” Hyunjae gasped, his head resting against the back of yours. It was better than anything he’d dreamed of, better than any girl he imagined, because it was you, and your body was made for him.
“When was the last time he fucked you?” He was fully inside of you now, and when you didn’t answer, he decided to take it as a sign to move. With a firm grip on your waist, he pulled out just to slam back in, making you yell as you clawed at the seat, wishing there was something to bite on as you endured the pain that was quick to morph into pleasure.
Every glide pushed you further into the car, your forearms occasionally hitting the door, as his hips moved vigorously, working up to a pace that had you moaning without pause. Tears were flowing down your cheeks at the overwhelming pleasure of being manhandled—of being Hyunjae’s rag doll when he was meant to be yours, and your body seized up, being worked up to your orgasm once more with how precise each thrust seemed to be.
He adjusted to raise one of your legs to his hip, giving him a new angle to pound into you as he worships you with his dick, and you shook out of pleasure, whining as you saw white and reached your second orgasm for the night. You pulsated around his cock, strangled moans ripping from your throat as tears mixed with your drool by your chin.
And Hyunjae showed no signs of stopping.
He made sure to press your face down against the seats, wanting every liquid to fall and stain his car, giving him something to remember you by.
Oh, and there was the recording too.
While kneeling inside of the cramped car, he slowed his movements and inclined his torso towards you. In one swift motion, he wrapped his arm around your neck and pulled you up, locking you inside his elbow as he forced you to look into your reflection in the car window.
“Look at you, the school’s favorite slut. What happens if the recording drops? The whole school would know you’re mine, wouldn’t they?” He pressed his chest against your back, the mesh rubbing against your skin as his lips remained near your ear, forcing you to listen to every word.
You limped against him, your flames completely burnt out, and your fingers tugged onto the mesh around his arm, successfully ripping it after some time, but Hyunjae seemed unphased. In fact, it turned him on even more knowing that he had you locked in, that you were his.
“Look at your pretty cunt taking me in so well. It was so wet for me, wasn’t it? It still is. And guess what? You’re in my car. You belong to me, and my good girl is only now just finding out about it, isn’t she?”
“I-I’m…I’m not-...not yours,” you retaliated, creating red angry marks into his skin with your nails as you endured being used, stifling your moans as you looked at how wrecked you were, how bare you seemed to be compared to Hyunjae. You were much more of a mess, from your hair to the bruises on your neck. Your pussy kept tightening up around his dick, convulsing occasionally with every hit toward your g-spot, and you held onto Hyunjae each time.
Your head drooped down, thinking about how your heart ached for Jiwoong, yet the rest of your body was meant for Hyunjae.
“Whose fucking dick is inside of you right now?” He scoffed and pulled on your hair, forcing your head back up so he could directly speak into your ear. “Wake up, Y/N,” he demanded. “You’re mine.”
He dropped you back onto the seat like you were nothing, leaving you completely helpless, your throat void of any words as your eyes closed and met the back of your skull, too fucked out to communicate. You tried reaching for the door handle, just something to hold onto, yet you couldn’t.
“You tell me I’m pitiful, that I’m basically delusional when you’re going to be the reason my car will smell like sex for weeks.”
Your face was forced back into the puddle of liquid you created earlier, being shifted back and forth against the seat as if you were made for his dick and not vice versa.
“It’s crazy how pathetic you are, how willing you are to break yourself down in front of everyone just to have him. That-...fuck…that you’re so convinced he wants you and you two are soulmates.” He dragged his fingers through your hair and grabbed your roots. “You called me, you wanted me, and I have you right now, moaning my name, and you have nothing.”
Something about his words kept bringing out your orgasms, each thrust adding to the pleasure immensely. You didn’t know how much you could handle—afraid you may pass out from how much he was using you, from his tight grip around you to his dick hitting inside of you mercilessly.
Hyunjae whispering ‘I won, Y/N’ was what had you losing it, your high this time ending up stronger than the rest. You were fully crying now, and yet he continued as if you were nothing.
He peppered your shoulder with kisses and had the slight decency to slow his pace, but he also took note of your sobs.
“Don’t tell me you still want him,” he began rambling, his lips still on your shoulder. “Don’t tell me after this that your heart still belongs to him, because if that were the case, I’d make you call him right now. Say you wish it was him instead of me, and that he’s the love of your life while you’re stuffed with my dick. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
You could no longer think, and what you hated most was how reactive your body was—how you were just able to come for the third time, but Hyunjae’s dick solely being inside you snapped some other straw you weren’t aware you had, finding that your last high was incoming.
Hyunjae had picked up the pace by then, and by knowing your body incredibly well, he reached down to your sensitive clit to relieve you. You both knew your fourth was arriving, and you held on tight to his arm.
“J-Jaehy- hyun, I’m—”
“Mine.”
You cried out, your entire body shaking, and Hyunjae pulled out, immediately releasing onto your back with a guttural moan after yanking off the condom. He was forced to catch his breath, watching you float in and out of consciousness.
Your eyes were closed, struggling to breathe through your sobs, and Hyunjae consoled you with a kiss on the back of your shoulder.
“You’re mine, Y/N, whether you like it or not.”
He then pressed a kiss to your cheek before leaving to grab paper towels from his trunk. You were heaving, still shaking, and left alone as a mess in his backseat, yet with him gone, you felt even more useless, wanting him back by your side instantly. You weakly cried out for him, your nails dragging against the seat in hopes of being in his arms soon, and maybe he was right.
Maybe you were his.
OUR INFERNO [ M.LIST | TWO ]
NAVIGATION — THE BOYZ
© https://hcuyk.tumblr.com/
#OUR INFERNO | lee hyunjae#deoboyznet#hyunjae#the boyz#tbz series#hyunjae smut#hyunjae fluff#hyunjae angst#hyunjae x reader#the boyz imagine#the boyz fanfiction#the boyz scenario#lee sangyeon#jacob bae#kim younghoon#lee hyunjae#lee juyeon#kevin moon#choi chanhee#ji changmin#ju haknyeon#kim sunwoo#eric sohn#the boyz smut#tbz hard hours#tbz smut
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A New Beginning With You | Lee Juyeon
SUMMARY: it has been a couple of years since you and your childhood best friend, Juyeon, went on your separate ways. Years later, you were given the opportunity to return to Seoul to pursue a new career, only to find out that your new employer is the one you have been dreading to see. Will you toss away all of the emotions again, or will you finally come to terms and fix this broken relationship with him?
PAIRING: ceo!Juyeon x f!reader
GENRE: office au, ex-childhood friends to lovers, coming of age, angst, fluff
WARNINGS: nc-17, slow-burn, this is pretty angsty ngl 😭, betrayal, several heart wrenching moments (it takes a while for both Juyeon and reader to figure out their emotions), language (one curse word), miscommunication, alcohol consumption, reader gets drunk a couple of times, several heated arguments, petnames (princess, sweetheart), kissing
WORD COUNT: 15,466
A/N: here is my submission for deoboyznet's holiday exchange event!! boo @cloverdaisies i'm your secret santa 🎅👀 ngl i did struggle with the prompts that you gave mainly cs i don't usually read/watch coming of age works so i hope i did this fic justice 🥹🥹🥹 big big shoutout to @momhwa-agenda for choosing the banner, also helping me to beta read (along with @from-izzy @juyeonszn) sending my unending kisses and hugs to all of you 😘💕
Seven years ago
“What do you mean you’re leaving?”
It all just felt so sudden, and you weren’t sure if you were hallucinating as you heard those words that came out from the mouth of your best friend for the past seventeen years. You both have made a promise to one another since you both were in kindergarten that no matter how big or small the situation may be, you both will always have each other’s backs and that no secrets were to be kept from one another, even if they may feel like you have been punched right into the face during the aftermath of it all.
Or that was what you thought.
“Y/N…I had no control over anything…you do know how my father often has to travel across the globe for his job—”
“But that doesn’t change the fact that you decided to keep it a secret from me when you first discovered that you were potentially going to follow your father’s footsteps for his company.”
From the beginning, you knew that Juyeon’s father worked at a relatively elite corporate company. Because of his status, he was often sent away to various countries to fulfill his job. It has been decades since his father has been in and out of Seoul, and he would often travel on his own not wanting to bother his family and wanting them to have a peaceful life here.
Never in a million years would you have thought that he would bring his entire family along with him as he starts a new chapter in his life in the States, and also get Juyeon to follow in his father’s footsteps.
You were on the verge of crying, your cheeks were heating up, and you had unintentionally balled up your fists, clearly failing terribly to suppress the anger and betrayal you felt.
“I just don’t get it, Juyeon. You have always wanted to pursue basketball. Hell, you have even sought a sports scholarship to get into one of the prestigious universities in Seoul! Why are you giving up now?” You huffed.
You could tell that he was showing some reluctance in his answer, and truthfully, he didn’t really know how to give you an answer, either. But he decided to reply in the most plausible and fitting one that was right for the current situation you both were in.
“Family has to always come first, Y/N. If it were for my family's future, especially my stay-at-home mother and younger brother, I would do anything to ensure my father and I can provide for them.”
You scoffed. “Bullshit.”
You took a few steps forward until you were merely inches apart. Looking straight into Juyeon’s eyes, you could tell he felt the same way and was also trying to hold back his tears.
“You’re not the Juyeon I know. My Juyeon, who has been right by my side ever since we were kids, would always go above and beyond to work for what he truly wants. He is never afraid to voice his opinion, and he would do anything to ensure his happiness would be fulfilled no matter the consequences.”
Finally, the tears that you have held back for so long began dripping down your face as you began to hit him simultaneously on his chest.
“What exactly happened to you, Juyeon?”
At the same time, tears clouded his vision as a single teardrop dripped onto his face. You could tell that something was holding him back from telling you the truth, if any, and his following answer would break you down even more.
“I’m sorry, Y/N.”
With that, a black car pulls up at the school entrance, revealing his younger brother rolling down the window to call out for his big brother. You could see multiple pieces of luggage lined up at the back trunk of the car, and they were ready to head straight to the airport.
With a glance back to signal to his family that he would be coming shortly, he turned to you to apologise once more before gently pushing you away to leave.
“I’m really sorry, Y/N. I wish you all the best in your future as you enter university and eventually the workforce.”
Just like that, Juyeon quickly sped down the stairs and opened the door to the car before settling in. Within seconds, his parents, sitting in the front seats, gave you a little wave before they drove away right through the exit.
Almost instantly, all of the built-up tension was suddenly released from you all at once, and you finally broke down crying at the entrance of your high school. What you thought would be a memorable, happy graduation for you both as you parted ways with your youth years turned out to be one sad separation from your best friend.
You both planned your summer holidays with one another before officially enrolling in university in the autumn. You were going to head to Busan for a five-day trip during the first month, going to visit your aunt who lived on the outskirts of Seoul to help her in her fieldwork (especially when she has a soft spot for Juyeon), and even going to visit all of the bazaars that were going to be held in central Seoul.
There were so many potential activities and times you could have had with one another, and you were even planning to propose to Juyeon that you wanted to be more than just childhood friends.
Because you have been having an insane crush on him since you were kids, and you realised it was love by the time you both entered high school.
Unfortunately, it was too late to confess your love to him, as he was now long gone, heading straight to the airport before he eventually said his final goodbye to his home for the past seventeen years, Seoul.
Maybe it was fate that you both were just not meant to be with one another; perhaps it was why his father had no choice but to bring his whole family with him to start a new life in the States.
For the first time, you cursed and blamed yourself for having such hope and planning a potential future with someone who was clearly out of your league, and you thought it had all been a waste of time since the beginning.
With that, the little needle-felted cat you have been hiding and made last night was released from your grips as he fell towards the stairs and eventually towards the ground. As you noticed, more tears kept welling up in your eyes, and you brought both hands to cover your face, not wanting to care about anything right now.
I shouldn’t have had so much hope. I was stupid enough actually to fall in love with you, Juyeon.
Present Day
“Oh, Y/N! Looks like your article just got published in the London Mail this morning!”
Your co-worker gave you a little pat on the back before he placed the newspapers right onto your desk, and it was clear how your article was published right on the front page with your name written very obviously at the right corner.
“Please, it was nothing. It’s what I do all the time,” you replied bluntly.
“What do you mean it was nothing? You just interviewed the rising actor of the month! That’s big news, and you deserve to celebrate it!"
“Please, it really is nothing—”
“Hey everyone, our department needs a little night out after work at the local pub! We’re toasting to Y/N’s big break in the news today!”
Your co-worker shouted out loud, and eventually, cheers erupted in the office, everyone congratulating you and thinking about the potential drinks and songs they would go for once work is over.
You smiled and chuckled at the sight. You have always loved your job and are grateful to have met such a fantastic group of people in this company.
It wasn’t your dream to pursue the path of becoming a reporter in the beginning. Sure, you have always had a passion for writing, but you have always considered it your hobby. Thanks to your sister, who was studying abroad in Manchester then, who convinced you to take that leap of faith and turn that hobby into a potential job.
So here you were, living the best of your life. You followed your sister’s footsteps and went on to live abroad in the UK, enrolling in the University of Manchester, where you successfully graduated with honours the past year. Thankfully, you secured a place in the London Mail right after graduation due to your outstanding grades.
The move from Manchester to London was a bit tough, but you initially managed to pull through with your sister and her boyfriend's help. They were kind enough to help you settle down and stayed with you for the first couple weeks before returning to Manchester. You miss your sister’s presence, but you know that eventually, you had to venture out on your own and face reality as an adult.
It has been a year, and you have adapted to living alone. Often, things would get tough, but it was also thanks to you having such a fantastic team of colleagues that you were able to pull through it all, even when there were times you had to work overtime to fulfill all of the datelines that were pilling up nonstop, especially during the holiday seasons.
It wasn’t until recently that your article was accepted and published on the main cover page of the news, and that was when you finally earned your big break after a year. The company has deemed you to be one of the most talented youngsters they have had over the past decade, and they were more than happy to have had you as their employee.
Since then, things have settled down for you as you got a pay rise and had fewer hours to give you more time to rest well, mainly when you only survived with four to five hours of sleep daily. Now, you can eat your breakfast correctly and get a good seven to eight hours of sleep before coming every day.
Just as your co-workers were having the time of their lives trying to figure out the plans for tonight after work, your office desk telephone rang, and you picked it up hastily, thinking that you’d have another big scoop to write about
But it was from the CEO.
“Miss Y/N, please report to my office immediately.”
You were back home after that fun night out at your local pub with your co-workers, holding a beer in hand as you FaceTime your sister over the phone.
“Well, it’s a good opportunity for you, don’t you think, Y/N?”
“I’m not too sure about all of this, sis. Like yeah, it would be great that I would be back home, but still—”
“Hey, I know mom would be ecstatic to have you back in Seoul with her. And it just so happened that you have been telling me how you recently began feeling a little homesick. I’d say it would be great for you to take up the offer.” She reassured.
It was the moment your mouth fell open wide when you heard that you had been offered to be a senior reporter for one of Seoul’s top magazines at the moment, GQ Korea, where you would be interviewing potentially all of the current well-known celebrities in the country and getting a higher pay as well.
It seems that they have come across your contributions from the London Mail, and they were keen to have you on their team. Your first thought was grateful as your works were recognised globally, but also because you miss being home. But another part of you has already settled in the UK, so you weren’t sure if leaving now would be the right choice.
But now that your sister has given you some input, that was when you knew that it wouldn’t hurt to try it out, at the very least.
With one final sip of your beer, you leaned forward and gave your sister a smile for the first time since calling her this evening.
“I’m going home now, sis.”
It has been a week since you settled into Seoul, and you have loved being back in your comfort zone: the culture, the food, and the environment you grew up in.
Your mom was overjoyed as she picked you up from the airport, insisting she would take your luggage, especially when you have flown almost twenty-four hours just to get home. By the time you got home, your mom was already ready and prepared with all the dishes she had premade before your arrival and needed to heat them quickly.
You quickly took a shower before joining her at the dining table. You both chatted for close to midnight before she told you she would sleep ahead of you. Meanwhile, you decided to clean up your childhood bedroom to make space for everything you brought back from London.
There was this nostalgia as you entered your room; everything was still the same, exactly how you had left it when you left for the UK years ago. The same old blue painting on the wall, all your posters hung on them, even your favourite comic books that were still arranged nicely on your bookshelf.
You could tell there wasn’t a speck of dust in the room, indicating that your mom must have cleaned it occasionally. You couldn’t help but sigh, thinking about all the hard work she always puts herself through.
It took you a while to go through all your belongings, mainly because you were reminiscing as you looked at the pictures, books, and figurines scattered throughout your room.
It wasn’t until you came across a box tucked away at the corners of your room that you pulled them out towards the centre as you opened them up.
And god, you wished you hadn’t done that.
All the pictures and items contained memories you had with your past lover, Lee Juyeon.
You paused momentarily before reaching out to pick up the first item on top of the box: a picture.
It was taken when you both were in kindergarten. You were holding hands, wearing backpacks and little yellow helmets on your heads. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight; it was nostalgic and cute.
Right after that, you took out a pair of bracelets right below the picture. It was a friendship bracelet that you both made during middle school. It was summer when you recently discovered the trend of making friendship bracelets, where you went straight to Juyeon’s house across the street, practically dragged him back to your house, and got him to make one with you. You giggled at the thought of how Juyeon was so lost at the time, having to come to you almost every five seconds to tell you that he had either lost a piece or was having trouble threading the beads through the string.
When you thought it would all be good memories, you stumbled upon the one item you wished you would not have to see again.
The needle-felted cat you made for him on the night before graduation.
Unbeknownst to you, your hands began to tremble as you took the cat into your hands, staring at it as the memories flashed back: how you would give this to Juyeon and tell him that you were ready to be more than just close friends, up to the point of how he suddenly announced to you that he was leaving for good.
Slowly, you felt that your tears were beginning to well up in your eyes, and you quickly dumped all of the items back into the box and tucked them back in the corner, using a few items you had in your room, such as cardboard to block it completely out of sight.
You were not ready to go through all of the roller coasters of emotion once again.
Especially when deep down in your heart, you still had some feelings left for him. Even if you did not wish to admit it out loud.
You stood outside the tall building as you tried your best to fix up the blazer that your mum insisted you put on for your big day. With your handbag and laptop, you gave yourself a deep breath before mentally preparing yourself that this would be your new workplace from now on.
You looked to see the vast sign plastered outside the building: GQ Korea. You were definitely at the right place. It took you a few seconds to finally be able to take your very first steps into the building. Once you did, you were amazed at the astonishing art that filled the reception floor. It was a fashion and art magazine; after all, there was no doubt that the company's directors entailed such a choice of decorations to captivate everyone who walked into their building.
You walked straight towards the counter, where you were greeted by two ladies who were already expecting your arrival. Immediately, they got you signed up in the system, and one guided you to one of the fifth floors, where you would be meeting your new team and department that you would be working with.
As you were guided into the head of the department’s office, Ms Kim, who has been guiding and overlooking this particular department for the past five years, greeted you and made you feel comfortable instantly, which made all of your tensed-up muscles relax fairly quickly. She communicated well with you and, surprisingly, even shared some of the same ideals as you did. You were beyond grateful to hear when she mentioned that she has kept up with your works from the London Mail, and it was about time that the team needed someone like you.
Once both of you had taken the time to break the ice, Ms Kim led you to your desk just outside her office, where countless cubicles filled the entire floor. At first glance, you have estimated that there were about fifty employees who worked in this department. It didn’t take them long to greet you personally before you eventually made your way to your desk in the middle of the floor.
As you unloaded your bag of materials onto the desk and placed them in an organised manner, your hands digging through your bag finally stopped when you felt a familiar material. Instantly, you pulled it out to check what it was, and you were once again left speechless with what it was.
A picture of you and Juyeon back during your graduation from high school.
The only plausible reason it was in your workbag was because of your mother. You have never once told her that things ended badly between you both, and you have always shrugged off the fact that you were still keeping in touch with the man himself and that you both were still having a healthy friendship. You just didn’t want her to worry much, especially when she knew how much you both have been through, and she practically treated Juyeon like her own son.
As all loving mothers would do, she woke up hours ahead of you this morning to prepare you a filling bento box. She wrapped it with traditional cloth and placed it neatly into your work bag. At the same time, she probably put the little picture frame into the bag, hoping it would motivate you during work and decorate your new workplace.
With just a few seconds of staring at it, you looked down to see an empty trash bin that sat right beneath your work desk, and without thinking much, you immediately placed the picture right into it.
I’m sorry, mom. But I will not be needing it anymore.
Your first week of work flew by quickly as you easily got used to the working lifestyle. Seoul was your home, and it wasn’t hard to adapt back to the culture. In fact, you were grateful that your new group of co-workers could be on par with the ones back in London; they were all as great and supportive in helping you ease into the new environment. Your new co-workers even encouraged you to head out for a little drink at the local izakaya restaurant after work since it has been a long weekend for everyone, and you surely did enjoy the little company you had before heading home a little after midnight.
In terms of fitting in as GQ Korea's new reporter, it has been a thrilling ride learning about all of the entertainment biz that has been going on in the country. Since your forte was with celebrities, your head of department had assigned you the same, focusing on the rising K-Pop stars in the industry.
It has been a while since you kept up with Korean celebrities since you mainly focused on Western artists abroad for a couple of years. But as you kept up with the news and made sure to read the newspaper first thing every morning you came right in, you made sure that you have been kept up to date with all of the latest announcements and events that have been going on in the industry.
Today was a big day for you as Ms Kim had instructed you to head up to the top floor, where you would first meet up with the CEO for the very first time since joining the company as he would like to brief you through the details in regards to the celebrities that will be coming later in the day.
You thought it was probably some hotshot celeb for the CEO to personally guide you through each step regarding what or how you should deal with them. However, you weren’t too mad since you figured they probably did things differently here in Seoul.
As you finally reached the top floor, you were then escorted by whom you assumed to be the CEO’s personal assistant, who was already expecting your arrival as they kindly let your head department know that she was free to leave. The walk down the hallway towards the CEO’s office seemed a little daunting to you for some reason; perhaps it was also because you were meeting someone who is considered to be one of the famous people in the heart of Seoul—there’s a reason why GQ Korea is always on the top-selling markets.
As the assistant kindly knocked on the door and got a verbal cue from the other side, she took a step behind to let you move forward as you slowly turned the doorknob to enter the room.
Immediately, you notice how the entire office is decorated extravagantly, filled with tons of high-end decorations that suit the taste of the CEO himself. The wide, clear windows dominated most of the room, offering a panoramic cityscape view. A curated selection of artwork filled the walls, which added a little personal touch to the working space.
You didn’t realise that your mouth was wide open as you slowly took in the mesmerising view until you turned towards the desk, where the CEO was sitting on his chair with his back facing you, flipping through multiple documents in his hands.
As you slowly made your way towards him, your little footsteps made the CEO’s ears perk up, causing the man to stand up and finally turn to face you in person for the first time.
With that, your entire world seemed to pause for a moment.
What exactly was going on? There was no way this young man could be the CEO, especially when you were certain that he had left Seoul years ago and sworn that his chances of returning to his homeland would be close to zero. Your laptop in hand was slowly beginning to slip off before you were brought back to reality and quickly caught it before it eventually hit the ground.
That was when you finally muttered your first words since stepping into the CEO’s office.
“J-Juyeon…?”
It was pretty evident that the man himself was just as confused and shocked as you were; he practically stood there motionless, trying his best to make sense of the current situation.
“Y-Y/N? What are you doing here?”
“I should be the one asking you that,” you replied.
You were about to go haywire just from this interaction alone. It was hard enough for you to move on from what happened seven years ago, and it proved to be a lot harder than you thought when you came back a few weeks ago to see that all of the things that you’ve tried so hard to forget were now back in the comforts of your bedroom.
Ever since then, you had promised yourself that you wouldn’t want anything to do with Juyeon anymore, and you have decided to shut your heart regarding anything related to the man himself.
If only it were easier said than done.
Juyeon finally took his first step away from his desk as he slowly approached you, extending his hand as if he was craving your touch again. You could tell that he was desperate for a little physical contact, perhaps to prove that you really stood in front of him.
But you couldn’t, and you weren’t ready for any of that, so you backed off instead, giving him a clear signal that you weren’t on the same page as he was.
There was this evident sadness in his eyes, and he tried his best to hold back his tears as his eyes began to water.
“Y/N…I—”
“Miss L/N. You can address me that, Mr. Lee,” you bluntly replied before diverting your attention to the ground.
It was when Juyeon finally got himself together and straightened his posture before clearing his throat. “Very well, Miss L/N. I’ll quickly brief you on the events happening today, with the group of celebrities arriving in a couple of hours soon. Please, have a seat.”
“I hate him, I really do!” You screamed at the top of your lungs as you took the pint of beer in your hands before slamming it down onto the table. Your sister had to restrain you from causing a scene at the bar, trying to settle you down and handing you a glass of water to chug down your system.
Your sister had just recently came back to Seoul for a little vacation, and you immediately asked that she could keep you accompany down at the local izakaya restaurant that you often visited to let off some steam.
“Karma is really on your side huh, Y/N,” your sister teased.
“I-It’s not funny, sissy….” your voice began to slur, indicating that you were starting to get drunk at this point. “Why…of all people, why?! Why did it have to be him? As my boss! In my new workplace!”
“Look, it can’t be that bad. Who knows, maybe you might get another chance again with him.”
“That’s not the point, sissy….after what he has done to me? After all that I have done to try my best to move on from the past? This should not be happening to me at all!” Your voice broke as you began tearing up, causing your sister to pull you close into her embrace, slowly caressing your back to help soothe you a little.
Your sister was well aware of your history with Juyeon, especially when you’ve spent weeks, which eventually that turned into months of crying out to her over the phone since she was already studying abroad then, she knew how much the whole situation wrecked you badly, to the point that it has taken you months to start going out and meeting people outside of university eventually.
She was there when you were both younger, seeing how you developed a crush on him later and knowing you weren’t just childhood friends and had something way more than that. It was a shame that Juyeon left without telling you, and she would’ve gone to the airport to confront him about it if only she had been back in Seoul then. But deep down, she knew Juyeon as much as you did and knew that suddenly, something probably came up for him to leave the country like that.
As a matter of fact, your sister had always wished and rooted for you both to become a couple eventually; she had always been a firm believer of childhood friends to lovers anyway, especially when that was how she ended up with her current fiancé. Now that you both have reunited in the most unexpected way, she believes her theory about you both eventually having a second chance was stronger than ever before.
With that, she lifted her eyebrows as if she had just come up with a brilliant idea. “Say, little sis. What exactly are you up to at work tomorrow?”
You sniffled. “Umm…I guess I have a meeting with Juyeon to discuss the upcoming fashion show that is due to be set in a couple of months. Why do you ask?”
Your sister gave you a little smirk in return before cradling you like a baby again. “Oh, it was nothing. I’m sure you’ll have a fruitful discussion tomorrow.”
You dreaded coming to work today. The very first reason is that you woke up with a really bad hangover from last night, and you practically don’t remember much that has happened besides chugging down pints of beer from your system. It has been a while since you’ve drank this much, and most importantly, because you were upset over something. Otherwise, you were pretty much sober most of the time and always being the one to drag your co-workers home because they were far worse than you were.
And, of course, it was also because you hated the idea that you must come face-to-face with your so-called ex-childhood best friend again—this time, in an actual meeting. Well, in some ways, you were glad that it was only a meeting for a potentially massive event that the company had been known to host for years and that Juyeon would probably be able to distinguish between personal and work-life issues.
But still, you just weren’t ready to face him again, especially with the huge shock you’d received the day before. It was already hard enough for you to stay focused when Juyeon briefed you through your job scope and the meeting you would have for the day, trying your best not to let the tears drip down nor let the anger boil up.
However, you had no choice since you must also stay professional at your work. You just got back to Korea, and there was no way you would chicken out and move everything back to the UK again. Well, potentially, you could, but it wouldn’t be an ethical move to make.
So here you are, hugging your documents and laptop towards your chest, standing outside the meeting room. You had to take a few deep breaths before you could muster up the courage to turn the doorknob and enter the room.
Once you did, you noticed how the entire room was filled up, with most of your co-workers in their designated seats, sorting through the documents they would use for the meeting. You immediately diverted your attention towards the front where Juyeon was seated, and you hated how you had actually spent a good minute admiring his features.
He wore a simple beige coat over a white tee, paired with a pair of black slim pants with leather shoes. His black hair was styled all the way back, leaving a little strand of hair down on his forehead. He was busy flipping through his documents while setting up his laptop to project the PowerPoint slides for everyone to see.
You just hated how extremely good-looking he was right now and that there was a high chance that you wouldn’t concentrate on your work throughout the next hour.
And how you would actually want to run into his embrace and give him a little peck on the lips—
Wait, what?
As Juyeon finally lifted his head from the monitor and looked at everyone else in the room, it was a sign that the meeting was about to commence, and you quickly took the still available seat, the front seat.
Throughout the presentation, you tried your best to take in everything that Juyeon- well, your CEO, was trying to convey to his employees. It turns out that this upcoming fashion show would be one of the most crucial ones the company has ever done for years, especially now that all the big brands are willing to collaborate with GQ Korea and put out the best fashion show in the country.
It was quite a breathtaking look to see how Juyeon was passionate about his job, talking and explaining each detail to his employees carefully while making it enjoyable for everyone to learn or be part of. With that, you have noticed how every single employee in the room was constantly taking down details as quickly as lightning, making sure not to miss out on any small detail. There were moments when some would raise their hands to ask further questions, and Juyeon was more than happy to answer them, making the whole meeting seem less stressful but instead quite engaging in return.
There were times when you found yourself staring at him more than you should’ve, and every time he diverted his attention towards you, you would quickly duck your head down to look back at your laptop as if you were busy typing away on your notes.
Time seemed to have passed quickly as Juyeon finally wrapped up the meeting and let everyone off. In fact, the meeting ended right at the dot, and it was just past noon, meaning it was lunchtime for all employees. Everyone was quick to dash through the door, their stomach grumbling after using up all of the energy for the meeting. For you, you decided to pack up your belongings at your own pace, knowing that you would be spending your lunch back at your cubicle with the little bento box your mother had packed for you this morning.
As you are about to head straight for the door, the familiar voice stops you in your tracks, making you turn your head back to face the man himself.
“Miss L/N, I would like to have a word with you.”
Oh, god. It’s here.
Mentally, you were cursing out all the vulgar words you knew at the back of your mind as you slowly approached your CEO, trying your best not to let out the croak in your voice.
“Y-Yes, may I help you, Mr Lee?”
“There is a place that I have to pay a short visit, and I would like you to keep me company.”
Whenever an employer or the CEO would address their employees to keep them company as they pay a visit to a certain location, it usually meant that it was to meet up with a client or to survey certain products or places that could significantly be crucial for the company’s success.
But here you were, sitting in one of the fancy cafes that wasn’t far from the office, having lunch with your CEO, who was sitting in front of you.
Juyeon said nothing along the way as he brought you to the cafe, insisting that you sit down and order from the menu with no questions asked. As awkward as it was, you were about to deny his request before he looked straight down towards the menu, not even glancing at you.
You figured this was probably part of the job, and there was no way you would deny your CEO’s request right here and then, especially when it was working hours and everything was strictly business.
Once both of you have made your orders to the waitress that just passed by a minute ago, you diverted your attention towards the tablecloth, not wanting to look straight at Juyeon. However, his deep voice caught your attention, and you lifted your head back up after hearing the words you had wanted to say for the past seven years.
“I think it’s about time I told you the truth, Y/N.”
Oh, he called you by your name.
As you focus your attention right on him, you can see the sadness in his eyes once more, just like how it was back when you first encountered him in his office the day before.
“Umm…with due respect Mr Lee—”
“Juyeon is fine. We’re outside of work, Y/N. I would appreciate it if you could talk to me like we used to, and I will do the same,” he responded, slowly resting his arms on the tablecloth as if he were leaning slightly closer to you.
With that you took a significantly big gulp, knowing that the day you longed for was finally here. You were about to get the answers you desperately needed to know, but at the same time, you weren’t so sure if you wanted to know the truth right now, especially with all of the things that you have gone through trying your best to take him out of your life completely.
“Will you please give me a chance to listen to what I have to say?” He pleaded, looking at you with a desperate look in his eyes.
Your gut and mind were trying to tell you that you have done your best to completely eliminate him in your life for the past seven years. Would you give up easily and open your enclosed heart just like that? After all of the hard work that you have done?
Say no, Y/N. You have gotten over the guy. It’s all over between you two—
“Yeah. Go on.”
Goddammit, Y/N.
Immediately, his eyes lit up upon your words, and his shoulders slumped down a little, indicating that he has relaxed a bit.
“Oh, thank god, Y/N. I guess you were still the same old Y/N that I remembered—”
“You said we’re not employers and employees now, so I’d say cut to the chase with what you have to say while you can, Juyeon,” you bluntly replied as you crossed your arms around you.
In return, Juyeon gave you a little weak smile and a sigh before he eventually diverted his full attention to you.
“Remember when we got separated back in high school? During our graduation day, you—”
“You left me behind, Juyeon.”
“I didn’t have a choice back then, Y/N. But now I’m here to tell you everything. You have no idea how our stomach dropped when my father came home and told us that his company was about to go bankrupt, and we were on the verge of losing everything.”
So that was what happened.
“And how it was also the day my mother found out that she had cancer and her chances of recovery were lower than expected.”
“J-Juyeon…w-why didn’t you tell me all of this?”
“I wanted to. I really wanted to so badly, Y/N. Because you’re my best friend, and you deserve to know everything. But I just didn’t know how to, and I was afraid of what might happen, and I don’t want to put the pressure on you.”
“W-Where are they now, then?”
Juyeon had to take in a big breath before choosing his following words wisely, knowing it must’ve been hard to even talk about it publicly. “Mom became bedridden, and she’s still receiving treatment in one of the hospitals back in the States. Dad is currently running a small little shop near the hospital along with my little brother.”
“Then, why did you come back here?”
“I came back because starting a proper company there was tough. I figured there might be a slight chance things could work out here in Seoul. With the remaining funds we had, I eventually begged my dad to give his final trust in me as I found a way to make things work out. Luckily, we had some acquaintances back here, and they helped me get into one of the prestigious universities and eventually landed me a job here at GQ Korea. I started as a normal employee before I eventually became their CEO a year prior.”
It was then you noticed a single teardrop on the verge of dripping down his face from the corners of his eyes. Naturally and unbeknownst to you, your hand reached for the tissues placed neatly on the table, and you leaned in to wipe away that single teardrop.
Only then did you both realise what you were doing, and that was when your eyes widened, and you were about to prop down back to your seat.
That was until Juyeon grabbed your wrist, not wanting to let you go.
“This teardrop is nothing, Y/N. I’m so sorry you have to see this side of me. It’s not very cool, I guess,” he chuckled, trying his best to lighten up the mood a bit.
As soon as he says those words, your other free hand eventually finds itself on Juyeon’s shoulders, causing the male’s eyes to widen this time before you finally speak out the words that you have always wanted to tell straight to his face all those years ago.
“Juyeon, you need to start learning to put yourself before others. And I really mean it.”
“Y/N, I—”
“No buts. Even after all these years, you’re still the same as before, always prioritising others before your own. As much as you are the most kind-hearted soul I’ve ever seen, you need to start loving and giving yourself some credit,” you replied, adding a little pressure onto your grip on his shoulders.
With that, none of you said a word for a good couple of seconds, and you both just spent the entire time staring into each other's eyes as if you were conveying your messages non-verbally. That was until Juyeon finally decided to break the tension off by smiling at you, a genuine one you had consistently grown to love back then.
“So, am I back in your good graces now, princess?”
You were finally brought back to your senses, and you quickly removed both hands from him and sat down swiftly back on your chair, ducking your head down while giving a slight pout.
Juyeon missed this sight of you and was absolutely admiring the whole situation that unfolded before him. Just then, both of your meals arrived, and the same waitress from before gently placed each of your respective ones in front of you. Juyeon then gently placed the cutlery in front of you.
“Dig in,” he mentioned before whipping out the napkin and placing it right on his lap, before going in with his cutlery to cut through his steak.
In return, you swiftly picked up yours and roughly cut through your freshly cooked breaded cod fish.
“No one calls a normal friend princess, Lee freaking Juyeon,” you mumbled.
Just when you thought that would be the only time you would actually spend some time alone with Juyeon, it turns out the male had perceived that you both were back just the way you were when you were kids.
Since that day, Juyeon would actually make his way out to invite you often to join lunch with him at the same cafe, usually ordering a different dish from the wide selection of food on the menu. What Juyeon loved the most about the place was the ambience and good coffee, and he would always be seen ordering a big jumbo-sized cup of iced latte to bring back to his office to help get through the rest of the day.
You, on the other hand, were often stuck with more or less the same few dishes that you’ve tried, and you, too, would order your usual iced americano back to the office once you both were done with the meal.
At first, you have always tried your best to avoid having contact with him; that first lunch date was just a typical day, as you would try to convince yourself. But whenever Juyeon gets a little break out from the office, he would either send you a personal email or sometimes ask his personal assistant to come down to your department to inform you to wait for the man down at the lobby at noon.
You obviously could do your very best to come up with excuses to let him know that you’re busy with something or you already have plans to eat with your co-workers, but it seemed that the heart does what it wants, and it does not align with the signals that your brain is trying to tell you; which is to avoid and cut off this whole friendship for good.
So you were back to being the giddy seventeen-year-old little girl who often felt excited whenever you spent time with your childhood friend. Hence, every time you were taking the very last escalator down to the lobby, you would often use that little time to admire the way Juyeon would always lean against one of the pillars while swiping through his phone with one hand and keeping the other one inside the pocket of his coat.
But you did not want to admit it just yet, so you would constantly remind yourself that he’s only back for a while; it wouldn’t be so easy to open up your ice-cold heart again.
That was until today.
Just a few days prior, Juyeon had given you a ticket to visit this huge Christmas market in the town centre. At first, you stared at the paper blankly, thinking it was all a joke and he couldn’t have gone with you. But the male made it clear that he invited you to come along, which would be the two of you together.
Your heart was bouncing so fast that you were afraid it would eventually pop out of your chest as you slowly approached where you both were supposed to meet. You figured it best that you arrived twenty minutes earlier to compose yourself and try to understand your situation.
As you paced back and forth for god knows how long, you finally heard your name being called out from the far distance, and you perked your head up to see that Juyeon was waving his hands and running towards you like he used to back when he was a kid.
Once he finally stopped right in front of you, he began panting heavily to the point you were genuinely worried if this man was actually alright.
“Woah, what the hell happened to you? You seemed like you were escaping from a monster or something,” you joked.
“N-No…I went to get this for you…” Juyeon then hands you a brown paper bag, and you accept it while being all confused.
“Open it, Y/N. Have a look at what’s inside,” he insisted before resting both hands on his hips.
While giving Juyeon a weird look, you finally peeped into the bag and extended your arm into the brown bag before you finally felt something soft against your palms and eventually pulled whatever it was out.
Your eyes widened when you saw what it was.
“J-Juyeon…this…”
“Remember way back in high school; we promised each other that we would want to visit the Christmas markets, and how badly did you want this soft alpaca plushie that was way too expensive for neither of us to get our hands on? Yeah, I actually got it before the store closed like minutes ago.”
He remembered.
You have always been vocal about wanting this plushie for years, and there was no way your parents were buying it for you, claiming that it was way too expensive (which it was since it was part of a collaboration with one of the high-end fashion companies) and that you wouldn’t have a proper use for it. Back then, Juyeon couldn’t do anything but reassure you that one day, your wish would definitely come true while always giving you pinky promises.
And now, you were finally receiving your biggest Christmas wishlist item as an adult, and you couldn’t be much happier.
You laughed. “Juyeon, you do realise that I’m not a child anymore, right?”
“Who says plushies are only meant for young children? Why can’t adults have their collection? I’ll tell you I have a Build-A-Bear in my bedroom.”
“You must be joking.”
“Mark my words, Y/N.”
Eventually, you both started laughing out loud before you hugged the plushie close to you, activating the heating function in the toy to keep yourself warm; that was the main purpose that made you want to purchase this product long ago.
“Thank you, Juyeon.”
“Well, instead of thanking me, why don’t you keep me company for the night as we explore this Christmas market together?”
You smiled. “With pleasure.”
“Oh, Juyeon~ Have I ever told you how much I’ve admired your good looks? I’d like to think that your family genes are something else.”
After an hour or two of walking through the entire Christmas market and having too much fun going to each stall and trying out the different activities and food, you eventually stumbled upon one located towards the furthest end and sold various eggnog drinks. You have never tried this particular alcoholic beverage before; you were mostly used to the beers that you often get back in the pubs in London. However, Juyeon insisted that you give it a go especially for the Christmas season, and he eventually bought both of you a mug.
The initial taste seemed a bit off to you, but once the alcohol started kicking in, you eventually began to chug the whole liquid down as if it were nobody’s business. After some time, one mug of eggnog began turning into two, and then three, and finally, you were pretty sure that you were on your fifth mug by now.
That was when Juyeon realised that he should’ve stopped you by your second or third mug because now you were barely walking properly without his aid, and your speech began to slur as he linked your arms over his shoulders, trying his best to support you while walking you back home.
You both had to take the subway trains to head back to your apartment and during the entire time, you were clingy with your childhood friend, often wrapping your arms around him and giving him a tight squeeze while mumbling incoherent words. You caught the attention of all passengers and passersby, but Juyeon could only smile at how you looked right now.
He had never seen you drunk before, and this was a whole new experience for him. But he wasn’t too mad that you reminded him so much of your younger self; it was as if he was witnessing the seven-year-old you again in the present day.
After walking from the subway and, eventually, towards your front door to your apartment, Juyeon was about to take you up towards the elevator until you stopped him in his tracks.
“No Juyeon~ why are you leaving me so early? We still have so much more to see in the market!”
He smiled. “Y/N, I think it’s time for you to head home to get some rest.”
“But I don’t wanna~”
With that, Juyeon grabbed hold of both your shoulders as he bent down to be on the same eye level as you, trying his best to talk to you in your drunken stage.
“Y/N, I’ll see you tomorrow, hmm? We’ve had loads of fun today, and besides, your mom and sister would be worried sick about you at this late hour.”
Immediately, you lifted your pinky at him, which caused the male to stare at you blankly. “Pinky promise that I get to see you tomorrow, Juyeon-ie?”
Oh, how insanely adorable you were to Juyeon right now.
He chuckled before linking his pinky with yours, shaking it left and right slightly as if to seal the agreement. “I promise, we’ll see each other in the office first thing tomorrow morning.”
With the final pinky shake, Juyeon guided you towards the elevator and pressed the button. As you both waited for the elevator to come down to the ground floor, you suddenly broke off the silence, and Juyeon had to blink twice to know he wasn’t hearing things wrong.
“I’ve always liked you Juyeon…even after all these years…I never stopped loving you…” you sobbed.
Your nose was now sniffling, and you closed your eyes to let the tears drip down, not caring what Juyeon would think about all this. You were done trying to hold it back for so long, and you needed to let the burden that you’ve held onto for years finally let loose, and well, you were drunk at this point, so you couldn’t really control the words that slipped out from your mouth.
“Why did you leave me just like that…did you know how much pain it has caused…and how hard I’ve tried to forget every single thing about you? I even threw away all of the pictures and toys we’d had together because the flashbacks of memories would often play in my mind upon seeing them,” you were now crying, and you began to raise your voice a little.
“Why, Juyeon, WHY!!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, and immediately you burst out crying, plopping straight down onto the concrete floor. You hated how the alcohol wasn’t making you think straight and that you were feeling a roller coaster of emotions right now.
Just let it out, Y/N. You’ve suffered long enough—
Immediately, a warm pair of arms wrapped around you, and a hand gently pushed your head down to let you rest on the crook of their neck. You finally glanced up to see that it was Juyeon, holding you tight and resting his chin on the top of your head.
As much as you want to push yourself away from him, you can’t. You couldn’t explain why, and you have even made a pact to yourself that you wouldn’t want anything associated with him anymore.
But why did the saying the heart wants what it wants have to be so accurate?
You hated it, hated how you have always let your emotions take full control over your mind, not making you think straight, and often going against your plans. In fact, your heart ached so badly, and it was the same feeling that you felt seven years ago, right when Juyeon left you alone as he hopped onto his vehicle.
The only thing you could do right now was to let the stream of tears pour down and cry out to your heart’s content. You felt weak, and you could do nothing to push him away.
Juyeon couldn’t blame you, though, because how could he? Especially when he was the one who said nothing all those years ago. Now, he was seeing with his own eyes how much pain and trouble it has cost you, turning you into a vulnerable little petite girl who was crying her heart out in his arms.
With that, he moved his lips down to plant a little kiss on your head and eventually closed his eyes as your cries filled up his eyedrums.
“I’ll make it work, Y/N. I promise you that I’ll make things work this time.”
“Oh, good fucking hell.”
You were sitting on your work desk, bringing your hands to cover up your face. It was an absolute nightmare to hear from your sister about what happened the night before—how you got drunk and caused a little scene in public, which made everyone turn their attention towards you, how Juyeon was the one who brought you all the way back home, how you had a breakdown in front of him to the point you eventually fell asleep after crying your eyes out to the point he had to physically gave you a piggyback up to your front door and assisted your sister to plop you down on your bed.
If there was a nearby cliff near your workplace, you would do anything to ditch work and actually head straight up there to jump off from the embarrassment.
You were already not having a good time reuniting with Juyeon, let alone trying to sort your emotions out while seeing him at work every day and that he was your boss. But to confess your deepest thoughts while being vulnerable and drunk in front of him? That was not written anywhere in your books.
As you were spending your entire lunch break groaning over what happened last night, you immediately received a call from your desk telephone, and you quickly composed yourself before picking the phone up.
“Y-Yes, hello? This is L/N from the editorial department; how may I assist you for the day?”
“Good afternoon, Miss L/N. Please report to the CEO’s office immediately whenever you can.”
Oh, Jesus take the wheel.
The entire walk up to the CEO’s office was nerve-wracking; it was as if you were being sent to detention at the principal’s office because you messed up really badly. So many thoughts ran through your mind, thinking about how to apologise to Juyeon for the scene you had caused the day prior.
Once you walked into his office, you tried your best to devise the best phrase to start the conversation, but it seemed that Juyeon beat you to it, immediately handing you a red ginseng hangover drink.
You reluctantly accepted it while mumbling a soft ‘thank you’ before he insisted that you drink it immediately before him. Once you were done, he took the bottle away and tossed it straight into the bin, directly briefing you about the upcoming fashion show, now only a month away.
Now that it was back to business and you were no longer childhood friends, you tried your best to keep your composure as you listened to all of the details he was going through one by one with you.
Eventually, he decided to bring you along to meet up with one of the CEOs of the high-end brands on a trip to Seoul to discuss the plan in person further. Apparently, you have met with the CEO of Fendi, and it’s one of the brands that have been associated with GQ Korea for decades now. Somehow, Juyeon has gotten pretty close with the famous man himself over the years.
All of you met up in the famous Four Seasons Hotel for a pretty luxurious high-tea session while discussing the whole fashion show. It was mostly just Juyeon conversing with the CEO himself; you were mainly there to take down all the essential notes that both parties spoke.
Usually, it would have been his personal assistant job, but he insisted that you come along this time, saying it was part of your training. To be completely honest, you weren’t sure if Juyeon was the one mixing up between work and personal life issues at this point. All you wanted to do was to pray that this meeting gets over and done with quickly so that you could head back towards the comforts of your cubicle in the office and not face Juyeon for a while.
After an hour or so, it seemed as if the meeting was wrapped, and both parties finally parted ways for now, causing you to head straight back to Juyeon’s vehicle. Many people would think most CEOs would have their chauffeur, but Juyeon insisted that he always preferred to drive alone.
He was still the chatterbox that you have always remembered back in the day, how we would often come up with any possible topic that would keep you entertained; you both could talk for days back then only if both of your families didn’t stop you from heading back home for meal time.
There was only one problem this time: you were still troubled by what had happened the day before, and it was hard enough to even join Juyeon for this meeting with the CEO of Fendi in the first place. Now that both of you were alone in the car, things were far more awkward than they already were. Juyeon never touched on the topic from last night, but still, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him in the face.
Just when you thought Juyeon was about to take the left turn to head back towards the office, he took the other lane instead and drove towards the opposite direction.
“Juyeon, the office is the other way—”
“Let’s go somewhere, Y/N. Treat this as a little gift of stepping out of office hours for a bit. You’ll still get paid, though; don’t worry. I’ll make sure to inform your head department about your absence.”
What on earth is going through your mind, Juyeon?
It has been a few minutes since you have physically pressed yourself against the tank, slowly admiring various species swimming about minding their own business.
Apparently, you both have arrived at the COEX Aquarium, known for homing a large variety of rare species of aquatic animals and typically the best place for school trips, holidays, and even as a date.
Wait, scratch that last one—
“Didn’t you always say how coming here has been on your bucket list for the longest time?” Juyeon questioned you as he slowly walked up towards where you were from behind, slipping both of his hands into his cloak as he, too, began admiring the beauty in front of him.
That was when you finally diverted your attention to his face for the first time since hopping into his car this morning to head to the hotel. You were upset at yourself with how the feelings were the same as before: his pretty sculpted facial features, how good-looking he actually was, and how he could do the bare minimum, yet you would still swoon over the man himself.
With all that has happened lately, something told you this was more than friend behaviour. Sure, Juyeon might be trying his best to patch up this whole relationship you once had, taking you to places and recreating new memories with one another, but you weren’t sure if Juyeon felt the same way as you did.
That deep feeling within the pit of your stomach made you feel uncomfortable, and it was about time you finally confronted him about the one question that had pondered at the back of your mind for the longest time.
If both of you wanted to continue whatever was happening between you, you needed to get the specific answer first.
And it has to be now.
“Juyeon, can I ask you something?”
He hummed. “Yeah, go ahead.”
With that, you turned your entire body facing him and took a deep breath to figure out the right words to convey your feelings for the man himself. “I meant what I said the night before.”
That alone was enough to get his full attention, as he was now slowly turning himself fully towards you as if he was staring straight into your soul. You wanted to chicken out so badly and tell him it was nothing, and you both could just continue with the silence. But you have already come so far, and you know that this will only continue to haunt you for as long as you live if you aren’t going to address it now.
So you mustered up every bit of courage left within you, and opened your mouth again.
“I never stopped loving you, Juyeon. Even though we have lost contact for so many years, I never once stop thinking about you every single day. As much as I’ve tried so hard to forget about you, hell, I threw everything that reminded me of you into the dumpster or boxes and kept them deep somewhere where I wouldn’t even think about searching for it ever again, but to no avail.”
Your body began to tremble as you tried to calm yourself down by playing with your fingers. “I couldn’t, Juyeon. Every time I thought I have succeeded in getting rid of you from my life for good, the thought of you just somehow finds its way to creep back up in my mind.”
“I have no idea if karma sent me back here to Seoul, especially when my career was doing well in London. Imagine coming back and discovering that my new employer is someone I’ve tried so hard to forget about? The mixed emotions I felt then were insufferable.”
As you began to speak more, tears started welling up in your eyes, causing your heartbeat to rise rapidly. But you decided to press on and choke back on your tears.
“With all that you have done for me for the past weeks and months, I truly have no idea what on earth you are trying to prove to me, Lee Juyeon. Are you trying to fix our broken friendship? Or is it something more? What exactly are you even planning to do, Juyeon?”
Finally, you took a few steps closer until you were inches away from him.
“Be honest with me now, Juyeon. What exactly am I to you?”
There was this tense moment between you two, and neither of you said a word to one another. You were looking straight at your childhood friend with red, puffy eyes, and his eyes were widened, looking at you and trying his best to take in everything you’d said.
Something tells you that it was best not to hear about Juyeon’s opinions at all for the fear of rejection once more. If you had the power to dissect his mind to determine his thoughts and feelings about all of this, you would. Yet, you were still afraid of what might happen next.
As you wait for his response, you slowly examine how his shoulders began to slump, and eventually he tries his best to talk some sense into you.
“Y/N, I—”
“Ah! It’s Juyeon-ie!”
The both of you immediately darted your head towards where the voice was coming from, and that was when you noticed a female running towards Juyeon while waving her hands, and a rather old man accompanied her.
Who could it be?
“Saeran? And Uncle Lee? What are you two doing here?” Juyeon questioned as the two individuals made their way towards you. It was also then they both noticed your presence and the soft-spoken young lady was the one who broke the ice.
“You must be?”
“O-Oh, I umm—”
“She’s Y/N; she used to be my neighbour back in the days when I was still living in Seoul.”
Just a neighbour, huh?
“Ah, Y/N!” The young female extended her hand for a little handshake, in which you awkwardly return the favour. “It’s a pleasure to meet you in person finally! Juyeon has spoken a lot about you.”
Before you could even give a reply, it seemed that the older man whom you now know was his uncle, or rather, perceived that he was the one who managed to help Juyeon get a new start in life back here in Seoul, finally spoke and diverted Juyeon’s attention back to what they were here for in the first place.
“We had made a little appointment this afternoon, don’t you remember, Juyeon?”
“Oh, yes! I’m so sorry. It must’ve completely slipped my mind since I have been pretty caught up with work lately,” Juyeon apologised while slightly bowing towards his uncle.
“Not at all, Juyeon. I’m sure you must’ve been pretty busy with-” his uncle then diverts his attention towards you. “-a lot of things.”
You definitely felt way too uncomfortable at the moment, and you needed to get out of the aquarium right this second if you did not wish to be suffocated by all of the tension in the air.
Immediately, you gently removed your hands from the young female and quickly made a ninety-degree bow towards all of them.
“My humble apologies, it seems that I have disrupted an important meeting. I shall take my leave now.”
As soon as you turned your heel towards the other direction, you suddenly felt a pair of hands grab your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.
“Y/N! Wait, I’ll drive you back—”
“No, it’s fine,” you tried your best to smile at him. “I’ll just take the train located right outside the aquarium. Have a good day.”
You instantly slip your hands off his grip and dash straight towards the front door, trying your best not to look back and ignore the tears dripping down your face as you walk down the steps towards the subway.
It was now week two of cutting off all contact with Juyeon. It hadn’t been easy for you both at work and personally. In fact, you haven’t been doing great at all. It was as if you had turned into a living zombie, often feeling rather emotionless and drowning yourself in paperwork and avoiding contact with another except for your head of department.
Since Juyeon was still your employer and CEO, he has definitely tried all means of contacting you, asking to see if you were doing okay or trying to get you up to his office to talk about the fashion show, or rather, to talk things out. But every single time, you would find ways to decline his request as best as possible while respecting him as your boss first and foremost.
After a week of declining his invitations, his messages and calls eventually stopped coming a week ago; it was as if he had completely vanished for a little while. From what you have heard, it seemed that he had some urgent matters that he had to deal with, causing him to leave the office into the hands of his assistant for now.
It was finally a little breather for you since you didn’t have to put on this facade for the time being, letting you let loose for a bit. Going through sleepless nights throughout the past couple of weeks definitely has taken a toll on your mental well-being.
You told yourself you needed to hold it all in for another week. Once this whole fashion show is done, you will get your well-deserved vacation off work for one week.
It’ll be alright. Things will definitely work out in one way or another, Y/N.
It was finally the day for the long-awaited fashion show hosted by GQ Korea and the collaboration among famous brands around the globe. A swarm of people marched into the rented convention hall, filling the entire space within minutes.
You and your co-workers were busy getting everything organised and ensuring everything was in place. Since you were in the editorial department, you have been going about talking to all of the big figureheads from each respective brand, mostly just breaking the ice as well as interviewing them so that you have your necessary notes to draft out the proposal for the upcoming magazine.
Time passed quickly and it was time for the show to begin. As you sat down on one of the chairs, you made your way towards the far end corners of the hall, getting ready your notepad and trusty blue ballpoint pen.
As the light began to dim, Juyeon eventually made his way up on stage with a microphone, giving the guests a warm welcome and a little opening speech before the models began their runway walk. Seeing the man himself again was a bittersweet moment for you. As much as you wanted nothing more associated with him, your eyes just couldn’t seem to turn away from him.
It did not help that he was dressed up in a black tuxedo, with his hair styled up with his usual one strand on his forehead. He looked strikingly handsome, and you wouldn’t be surprised if he managed to woo almost everyone in the audience tonight. The way he presented himself was truly magnificent, and you could see why he was able to rise to the ranks of being a CEO at such a young age.
Tears began welling up in your eyes again, but you tried your very best to hold them back and mentally cursed at yourself, thinking that this was all professional work now and that there was no room for any personal matters for the night.
Once he made his desired speech, he eventually came down from the stage and sat at one of the front row seats, and that was where you could clearly see that the very same girl from the aquarium sat right next to him, along with his uncle and personal assistant. It shouldn’t bother you since they are practically family to him. It was none of your business, so why couldn’t you take your eyes off them?
Or rather, with him and the young lady who was clearly having fun whispering into each other’s ears.
It has nothing to do with me.
You constantly reminded yourself that whenever you tried to spare a glance at them, all while you were taking down notes from the show. It was definitely a challenge trying to stay focused, and there were a couple of times when you needed to close your eyes for a bit and take a few deep breaths to proceed with your work.
The show finished smoothly, and the audience responded with a standing ovation. You definitely felt a sense of accomplishment from that, too, given that all of your hard work over the past months had finally paid off.
The event wouldn’t have been complete without an after-party, so here you were in the hall next door—with all of the guests, models, and even staff alike having loads of fun chatting about with a glass of champagne in hand. Eventually, the DJ that was hired began to blast out a wide selection of music, indicating that whoever felt comfortable hitting up the dance floor was able to do so.
You smiled as you saw a couple of your close co-workers pull up some moves on the dance floor; it reminded you of loads of your time back in the UK—going to the local pubs and just having the time of your life drinking and partying with your friends.
Just as you were lost in thought, you suddenly felt a little tap on your shoulder, and you turned around to see that Juyeon’s assistant insisted that someone wanted to see you in person.
You didn’t think much of it since you already had a little bit of alcohol in your system, so when you finally realised who was the one who wanted to see you, panic began to rush through your veins, and you tried your best to make sense of the situation.
“Mr Lee? Is something the matter?”
You did not need to see the older male again, especially when he gave you a not-so-good first impression back at the aquarium. However, you had no reason to devise an excuse to leave; he was much superior to you anyway.
“Why, good evening, Miss L/N. I hope you are enjoying the party so far, and congratulations on the job well done. I must say Juyeon always excels in his work, no matter what obstacles he encounters along the way.”
The only thing you could do was flash a little smile back at him, as much as it made you uncomfortable. In the back of your mind, you have dozens of questions running through your mind, thinking about in what manner his uncle has any business with you.
Eventually, he began speaking as if he was chanting through a book, giving you a whole load of information that was a little bit too much to take in at the moment.
“It seems that Seoul life has been too tedious for you, don’t you think? Have you ever wondered about transferring back to London? Perhaps it would be a much better place for you to reside in.”
“Umm, with all due respect, sir, how did you know about my background—”
“Oh, I have always kept an eye on you; you were Juyeon’s childhood friend, after all.”
Keyword. “Were”
“With that being said, I have read a couple of your articles before from the London Mail, and I must say, they are actually quite extraordinary.”
“W-Why, t-thank you, Mr Lee. I really do appreciate them—”
“Speaking of transferring, the CEO for Fendi has actually taken quite a liking to you and your work. Even throughout the whole fashion show back there, he has been talking on and on about you, saying how you would prove to be a fruitful addition to his company.”
Just like that, Mr Lee began to step forward to hand you a little sticky note, which clearly had a number written on it.
“If you ever change your mind, give me a call. Besides, I’m sure you already know the answer deep within your heart. I will be waiting,” Mr Lee responded with a smug before entering back into the hall.
You stared back down at the note and eventually began thinking about what his uncle said prior. Suddenly, you started feeling conflicted, thinking this was the right place to belong. But it could also be his way of trying to brainwash you; you’re pretty sure you felt like a menace in his eyes.
You decided you needed some fresh air to clear your thoughts for a bit, so you headed out towards the balcony right up the stairs. You figured that an open-air rooftop seemed perfect for some alone time.
If only you were the only one who was planning to use the same exact spot that is.
Right when you reached the door that was ajar on the rooftop, you immediately recognised the two people standing before you, the female leaning in to give your childhood friend a peck on the lips.
You stand there motionless, and immediately, your blood starts to boil, something you haven’t felt in a while. The glass of champagne then drops towards the ground, and the shattered noises make the two turn their attention towards you.
It all felt like a sudden pause like time had stopped for a few moments. The both of you were staring deep into each other’s eyes, not knowing what to do or how to respond. But then, Juyeon eventually spoke to break the silence.
Before you could ever hear what he had to say, you were already dashing down the stairs, not caring that you had missed a couple of steps and that there were a few instances where you felt like you were about to trip and fall straight down back where you came from.
Not even wanting to let your co-workers know about anything, you quickly dashed through the front gates, running through the now gloomy skies that were bound to have a heavy downpour within a few minutes.
You should’ve remembered that Juyeon was the basketball team leader back in high school for a reason; no matter how fast you ran through the streets, he eventually caught you and yanked you back towards him, causing you to press up against his chest.
“Let me go! Let me go—”
“Y/N! Please! Let us just talk things out.”
You used up all of your strength and pushed him away as hard as you could before you began raising your voice back at him. “Talk? Don’t be ridiculous. You have done more than enough, and I have seen enough.”
“Y/N, no. You don’t understand—”
“What else do I have to understand!?!? You have done more than enough to shatter me over and over again, Juyeon! And to think I was dumb enough actually to think we could work things out again!” You screamed.
“Y/N…please…just calm down and listen to what I have to say…” Juyeon was now practically begging you, begging you just to stop.
“You clearly don’t understand the pain that I’ve gone through, Juyeon. You weren’t there to witness or experience it anyway! Why did we even become friends in the first place, huh!?!?”
God, cat’s out of the bag.
That last sentence was definitely not meant to be said at all; it was one of your deepest, darkest thoughts that you have sworn that nobody should ever find out about, especially when it is directed towards the person who stood before you.
“I hate you, Juyeon…I really do…for all of the pain that you have caused me…” you were now sobbing like a child, which pained Juyeon so much seeing how you were now.
With that, a loud thunder resonated throughout the city, and a heavy downpour began pouring down from the skies. The both of you were now soaked, and you mustered up the courage to say your final words to him as the tears began mixing with the rain.
“Please…I beg of you…just stop looking for me…or even talk to me at all…just leave me alone…that’s the last thing I will ask of you…”
“I don’t want anything to do with you no more.”
You slowly began backing away, and when you reached a good amount of distance, you turned your heel and began running away into the shadows, not sparing a final glance at your childhood friend who stood at the same spot under the pouring rain.
This is my final goodbye, Juyeon.
If you thought the whole week of you being a walking zombie in the office was terrible enough, clearly, nobody was prepared for the current state that you were in. You locked yourself up in your room and refused to see anybody, even your mother and sister.
You would constantly lay in bed, tossing and turning, even though it was hard to fall asleep. Since you avoided contact with your family members, there was nothing much they could do but place a tray filled with your meals and dishes in front of your door, waiting for you to eventually open up during times when you actually felt hungry and took them into your room to savour them all on your own.
You didn’t need anyone or anything now; you craved alone time and peace.
As you curl up in bed, sometimes even at the corners of your room, your eyes would often dart towards the sticky note handed to you by his uncle. So many times you have thought about it: what if life would’ve been better abroad and coming back to Seoul was truly a grave mistake that you have made? What if this whole decision was actually an awakening moment for you to realise that this is not where you should belong?
Days went back and eventually, it became a week. There were only a few days left before you returned to the office for work. The longer you kept staring at the note, the more motivated you were to take the risk and start again.
Every time you were reminded of what happened that very fateful night, you rationalised that maybe what Mr Lee said was true after all. Perhaps Seoul is really not your place to belong.
As the clock ticked, your desire to leave everything behind felt stronger.
You waited until the clock finally struck noon for you to finally stand up with your phone in hand, punching each number into the dial pad and bringing it to your ear.
Once the ringing eventually got through and you were met with a voice on the other end of the line, you took a deep breath before muttering the words you have been reluctant about all this while.
“I’ll take up the offer.”
“For the very last time sissy, I promise I will be fine,” you spoke through your headphones as you were on a video call with your sister, who was back home at your apartment.
“You have never done something so impulsive before, and given that you made this whole decision during your darkest hours? I highly doubt that you’re okay, Miss Y/N.”
“Well, I can assure you that the darkest hours are gone, and I’m now free and much happier. I can work with Fendi!”
Your sister sighed through the phone. “Working with big brands is one thing; what about your physical and mental well-being?”
“Rome doesn’t sound too bad to me, and besides, living in the UK for a couple of years has definitely given me the experience I’ve needed to survive back in the EU again.”
“Fine. Just…be careful, okay? Give mom and I a call once you’ve touched down.”
You gave a little flying kiss through the phone. “Don’t worry, I will.”
After waving goodbye on both sides, you clicked the red end call button and leaned back onto the chair you had been sitting on for the past hour. It was definitely a shocker to you that Fendi was willing to accept you immediately without having to go through any sort of significant interviews and that they were kind enough to even provide accommodations for you. At the same time, you work for them under a contract of two years. Frankly, it was a good deal and a steal.
You slowly stare into the digital clock on the big screen, which eventually becomes an announcement.
“All passengers bound for Rome, Italy, please head to gate 4B and be ready for boarding!”
Instantly, almost all of the people around you began standing and lining up as if they needed to be the first to get on board. You have always disliked and never understood why the rush and pushing against one another trying to fight for the first slot, so you often just sat back and relaxed until only a couple of folks left to board the plane.
Time went by quickly, and thirty minutes have passed since then. Now, only a handful of passengers are left to board. That was when it was your cue to get up and sling your backpack onto your back.
As you slowly walked towards the counter to let the flight attendants scan your passport and let you through the gates, you felt a sudden tap on your shoulders, causing you to turn behind to see who it was.
You didn’t have much time to respond until you were pulled in for a tight embrace; that familiar cologne was enough to make the tears well up in your eyes again.
“J-Juyeon…” your voice muffled.
“Stop. Let me just…let me do the talking this time. Please.”
You would have definitely fought back and started pushing him away once more, but it seems that you were either too taken aback or lost all of the energy throughout the past week to do so. Instead, you just stood there motionless in his arms.
“Y/N, I know it would be horrible for me to ask for forgiveness because I definitely do not deserve any of that after what I have put you through. Or even for another chance because you clearly gave me one, and it was my fault for not appreciating nor cherishing the moment when it happened,” he began stroking your head, his fingers running through your long, silky, soft hair.
“But one thing is for sure: I will not let you go this time. This time, I am going to hold you so tight that there’s no room for you to escape; I’ll make sure that you will forever be safe and sound in my arms, and I will be the one who is going to bring you joy instead of pain and tears.”
He then bends down to give you a little kiss on your forehead. “You mean a lot to me, Y/N. And I’d like to think you are more than just a friend; you’re my other half. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to move on, knowing that I will lose you again, and this time, forever, if I don’t stop you now.”
“So please, Y/N. I’m begging you. Please don’t go.”
With his final words, you eventually find your arms slowly snaking up his back and returning the hug to him. You weren’t too sure why you did that, especially after the tremendous pain you have gone through the past week in particular. At the end of the day, the phrase where the heart wants what it wants will forever remain faithful to you, whether you like it or not.
You sobbed. “You’re not going to make me stay that easily.”
“Oh yeah? You think I’m not capable of doing that?”
“Prove it then.”
Instantly, one of his hands travelled back up to your chin and lifted them, causing you to look directly towards his as he slowly bent down to interlock his lips with yours. The kiss was rather heated, as if the both of you had been waiting for this to come so badly. You couldn’t care less if you both were actually making out at the airport.
Juyeon cupped your face with both hands as he tilted his head for you to gain more entrance into his. His lips felt soft yet demanding as if you were devouring a forbidden fruit. In return, you run your fingers through his silky black hair.
After a few minutes, you both broke apart for some fresh air, trying your best to catch your breath simultaneously.
“Is that supposed to make me stay put in Seoul, Juyeon?” You teased.
With that, he merely replied with a little smile followed by a smirk. “That, Miss Y/N, was actually a pact you made to me. Treat it as a contract, if you will, that you are bound to stay by my side no matter what.”
“Ugh, that’s so foul of you!”
“You should know that I have my ways; I’m not the CEO of GQ Korea for nothing.”
The both of you eventually burst out into laughter while Juyeon finds both hands on your waist while you wrap your arms around his shoulders.
“Listen, Y/N. I want to apologise on behalf of my uncle and Saeran.”
“Oh, yeah. No big deal. By the way, is Saeran—”
“It’s not what you think it is.”
“It’s not?”
He smiled. “She’s my little cousin, and she often showers me with tons of hugs and kisses, even though I’ve told her to stop a million times.”
“Well, you’re lucky to have a cousin who loves you that much,” you replied.
“Yeah, but she’s going to have to learn that she can’t do that anymore because someone else is going to replace her job for that.”
As much as you knew who he referred to, you still wanted to drag this further. “And who exactly is that?”
“Hmm…maybe the contract before wasn’t clear enough. Should I make another one?”
You slapped his chest immediately. “Don’t you dare, we’re in public.”
Again, another burst of laughter was genuinely beginning to make you feel a lot better, even to the point of slowly healing all the scars you have had before.
With that, you needed to make yourself clear to the man himself.
“Juyeon, can I just be honest with you?”
“Of course, sweetheart.”
“I appreciate you doing all of this for me, but I just want to give you a heads-up that it’ll take a while for me to heal from everything completely and that I’m sorry if I don’t give you the exact treatment that you expect from me, and I—”
You were then silenced with another kiss on the lips; this time, Juyeon took the time to shower you with as many kisses as possible, making sure that each was worthwhile before breaking the kiss again.
“Y/N, I don’t care about all of that. You can take as long as you need, but just know that I will be here for each step you take, and I’ll give you support whenever you need it. I promise. I will not leave you behind ever again.”
As you both plastered a soft smile, you leaned in to rest your forehead against each other, taking in everything that had happened minutes prior.
“Here’s to a new beginning with you.”
masterlist
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#deoboyznet#dbn: holiday party#k-vanity#k-labels#kflixnet#k-films#the boyz#tbz#the boyz x reader#the boyz scenarios#the boyz imagines#the boyz fanfic#tbz fanfic#tbz scenarios#lee juyeon#lee juyeon x reader#juyeon x reader#lee juyeon imagines#lee juyeon scenarios#lee juyeon angst#lee juyeon fluff
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When they see your self harm (specific members)
Requested (Bermuda and Canada line + nyu)
Warnings: self harm. Like…yeah. If uncomfortable do not read it 🧍♀️.
Hyunjae
Standing in front of the mirror you stared at your bloody arms. Touching the new wound's slightly you hissed when it burned. It was nothing new to you. Hurting yourself was like your own pleasure. No matter how much you tried to stop yourself you kept doing it. Like a endless cycle. It was like a addiction. A addiction you are not able to get rid off no matter how hard you try.
Opening the cupboard which was in your washroom you took out your first aid box. Sighing you started dressing up your wounds as tight as possible. And covering them up. While covering the wounds you failed to hear the shoutings coming from outside. It was until the door was harshly pushed open making you flinch.
"Gosh I have been calling...what happened to your arm Y/N?" Looking down you tried hiding your arm but he had already seen it. Taking slow steps Hyunjae stood in front of you as he gently held your arm in his as he traced the uncovered wounds. "Did you do this because of me? Was I...the reason?" He asked in such a low voice you could barely hear it but it was so quiet that it was easy to catch on it.
Shaking your head violently you held Hyunjae's hands in yours. "No...no. What I did is not because of you. Please don't take the blame for something I did.." "Will you keep hurting yourself?"
The question he asked caught you off guard. You tried finding words but it's like they were stuck in your throat. You could not look him in the eye because you knew that if you promised him right now to not hurt yourself it would just be a mere lie which will be broken. Looking down you shook your head.
What you did not expect was for Hyunjae to hug you. "I don't know what is going on with you right now but I hope in the future you will be comfortable enough to tell me..now come. I will dress your wounds.."
Juyeon
Getting home you removed your jacket you were wearing the whole day. Throwing it on the couch you went in the kitchen to get some water. As you were getting yourself some water your gaze went to your wrist making you put down the glass of water and bring the wrist to your eye level.
You knew what you were doing was not right. Doing self harm was not a good sign. Acting like you were happy was not a good thing. You also knew that Juyeon already knew that you were hurting yourself but he just acted as if he did not know.
He tried everything he could do to make you happy but...things were just not going the way you wanted them to. Drinking water was no longer in your mind as you went in your shared bedroom to patch the cuts up.
As you were removing the first aid box you heard the door open. Knowing who it was you did not look back and continued what you were doing.
"Wait....let me help you.." you heard Juyeon's voice. When he came behind you, you stepped aside as you went and sat on the bed.
"So....how was your day?" You knew he was just trying to make a small talk while taking care of the cuts. You stayed silent as he took care of them. Hearing no answer from you Juyeon looked up at you.
"Why are you acting like this is fine when it is clearly not? Do you not feel ashamed of me? Seeing your girlfriend hurting herself despite having everything she could ever want? Are you not angry that I keep on hurting myself?" You kept on blabbering as tears left your eyes "Were you not hurt when you got to know that I hurt myself? Do you not get disappointed when you know that I am just acting happy?"
You heard him sigh as he closed the box after putting everything inside. He got up from his knees as he held your hand in his. "I will never be ashamed of you Y/N. I don't know why you're hurting yourself but all I know that is...I will always be by your side. No matter what. You don't have to pretend to keep on smiling. I also don't want to pretend that I don't know that you're hurting yourself. I want you to know that....when you feel like you want to talk to someone about something that is hurting you....I will always be here. I was hurt and sad when I got to know that you were hurting yourself but not because of you. I was hurt and disappointed that I did not know that you were going through something to the extent you thought of hurting yourself. Having everything does not mean that you have to pretend to be happy....come on now. I bought your favourite food. Let's eat that and go to sleep." Juyeon stood up as he pulled you with him to the kitchen.
Younghoon
Getting out of the washroom you pulled your sleeves down to cover your arms. Entering the cafeteria you searched for Younghoon. Seeing him sitting at the far end of the cafeteria you went towards him as you kissed his cheek when taking a seat beside him.
"What did you order?" You asked once you settled down. "Your favourite. They had soup dumplings today." Younghoon replied as he gave your forehead a kiss. You just smiled slightly at his gesture as you did not speak any further.
Younghoon noticed how awfully quiet you were today. To cheer you up he held your hands in his as he pulled you closer. You flinched at the sudden contact making you push him away from you. Younghoon noticed your behaviour as he gently held your hands again "Is something wrong?" He asked in his usual sweet voice as he held your arms to make you face him. As soon as he held your arms you hissed in pain as you pushed his arms away. "What happened? Did you get hurt? Did someone hurt you?" He asked while he pulled your sleeves up a bit. Immediately stopping midway he stared up at you when he saw the wounds on your arms. Pulling your sleeves down he looked around to check if someone else saw it.
Putting his attention back on you he asked you in a softer voice as he rubbed his thumb on your hand in a comforting manner. "Did someone do this to you..?" Younghoon asked in worry. Shaking your head Younghoon looked at you as he understood that you did this to yourself "Did..you hurt yourself..?" Younghoon asked cautiously as he looked in your eyes with nothing but worry. Nodding your head you let your tears fall down "I...I am sorry. I wanted to tell you about this numerous times but I just couldn't get myself to tell you about this and why I was doing it. I get it if you don't want to date me anymore or if you think that I am a freak. You will now want to break up with me. See this is why-" cutting you off Younghoon hugged you tightly as he patted your back in a loving manner. "Shhh...calm down. I will never break up with you. I love you. I would never leave your side. So what if you're doing this? I know that there must be a reason behind this and I want you to know that...when you feel like you're ready to tell me the reason I will always be here for you with open arms to listen to it. Never think that you're a freak, okay?" He pulled away as he wiped your tears. In the meantime your order also arrived making you both stop the conversation as you both dwelled in your own world which consisted only the two of you.
Kevin
You sat in front of Kevin as you both were having your dinner. It was silent mostly, exchanging words here and there, mostly Kevin. You just gave him short answers.
"I wanted to ask you this...why are you always wearing long sleeved shirts? Don't you feel hot?" Kevin asked out of nowhere making you stop your actions as you stared down at your plate trying to get yourself together before answering. He cannot know the reason behind this. You don't want to burden him. Plus what you’re going through is just something silly. He must be going through something way worse…
"Ah...no I just feel cold nowadays. Nothing much..." you replied quietly as you reached out for the bottle of water across the table not realising that your sleeve rode up revealing your wounds you still had to treat.
"Is...is that? Y/N are you...?" You looked at Kevin in confusion as you followed his gaze. You panicked when you realised that he saw the marks. You immediately pulled your sleeve down as you mumbled "It's nothing. Don't worry.." you went back to eating as Kevin stood up from his chair and walked towards you.
He stood beside you as he gently took your hand in his as he pulled the sleeve up revealing your burn marks. "Are...are you hurting yourself?" He asked in such broken voice that you could not even look in his eyes. "Was it because of me? Did I do something? Is it something else? I am so...so sorry I did not notice you struggling before." Kevin kept rambling making you stare up slightly as you shook your head. "No...no none of this is your fault. Don't blame yourself..." you replied as you held his hands in your. "You know that you can tell me anything right? I am always there for you. If you're not comfortable telling me yet then I will wait but please don't hurt yourself. I...I.." Kevin did not even complete his sentence as he broke down...he came close to you as he hugged you tightly while resting his head on your shoulder.
Jacob
Sitting on the chair which was by the dinner table you poured yourself another glass of beer as you drowned yourself in your own world which was filled with sadness, anger, little to no amount of joy and of course blood.
This was your everyday routine. Coming in the kitchen to drink till you pass out after cutting yourself and then waking up on the table with a paining back and neck just to live your everyday life with a fake smile on your face.
You were so self absorbed in your own world you did not even notice someone entering the room and taking a seat beside you. That was until they spoke up "Hey....you alright? You looked pretty lost there..." you heard the voice say, you wanted to reply but you could not. Hearing no reply the person grabbed your arm where there was a fresh burn and cut. The sudden contact to your hurt skin made you hiss out in pain as you pulled your hand away out of instinct and reflex.
"You alright? Did you get hurt...." The voice trailed off. You looked to your side and saw Jacob sitting beside you. He was staring at your arm with concern and worry written all over his face. Looking down you tried covering and hiding your arm but it was too late. It was already in his grasp as he pulled up your sleeve and stared at your arms.
"Did...you do this to your self?” He uttered out slowly as he grazed his thumb over your wounds. You could not lie to him anymore nor could you get yourself to speak up to him about this so you just simply nodded your head. "Why...? Why did you not tell me? Are...are you not comfortable with me? Do you...not trust me?" Your heart broke when Jacob uttered those words. That was not the reason at all.
You immediately shook your head as you spoke up "No....it's just that...I did not want to burden and worry you with my problems...and it’s not that big of a deal anyways..” you could not even finish your sentence as Jacob hugged you tightly. You could feel your shirt getting wet but that was the least of your worries. "Come. I will dress up your wounds. You can tell me why you did that if you're comfortable with it...and it is a big deal. I don’t know why you think like that but whatever hard time you’re going through never think that your problem is not that important. You’re important to me Y/N..” he pulled away as he softly smiled at you and pulled you up from your seat.
Chanhee
Checking the temperature of the water you sighed as you stared down at your arms and legs which were covered in bruises and scars. Your bruises were still healing so you could not really take a shower or wash your hair since the past few days. Your hair had become so dry and their condition was just not it.
You just stood in front of the shower as you thought about what to do when the door opened and a head peeked inside making you give out a small smile.
"Need some help in washing your hair?" Chanhee asked as he let himself come in the bathroom. He leaned against the basin as he stared at you with nothing but love and affection in his eyes. Despite the bruises and scars all over your body Chanhee never judged you or made you feel bad for it. In fact he did nothing but show you the love and affection he has for you and by also respecting your boundaries and not trying to make you talk to him about things you were not comfortable enough to tell yet. You were just so grateful to him for that.
You nodded at his words as he walked towards you and brushed your hair so that there would not be any tangle when washing them. Leading you towards the bathroom he made your hair wet as he poured some shampoo on his hands and started applying it on your hair.
You started slowly relaxing in his care as you closed your eyes when he started giving a massage to your scalp. Once he was done he washed your hair in lukewarm water and applied conditioner on your ends. When he was done washing your hair Chanhee led you towards the mirror as he started drying your hair.
You just stared at him as he focused on your hair and applying some serum and oil on them once they were dry. "Thank you....for everything." You said in a small voice as you smiled at him. Chanhee just smiled at you "I will do anything for you..." he replied as he combed your hair "No but like...thank you for still loving me despite you know...these bruises..." you mumbled while looking down. Chanhee immediately gripped your chin as he made you look at him in the eyes "I don't care if you have bruises or those scars. I will love you however you're.." you nodded at his words as your eyes welled up in tears "I love you..." you said to Chanhee as you hugged him tightly. He hugged you back as you let his fingers go through your hair in a loving manner while his eyes were closed.
(This is for a special someone~ hope you like it! <3 @haet-sal )
Tagging: @deoboyznet
#the boyz#tbz#the boyz imagines#TBZ imagines#TBZ fluff#tbz scenarios#the Boyz Jacob#TBZ Jacob#Jacob imagines#Jacob reactions#jacob scenarios#tbz juyeon#the Boyz Juyeon#Juyeon imagine#juyeon scenarios#Juyeon angst#juyeon reactions#Younghoon#TBZ Younghoon#the Boyz Younghoon#Younghoon imagines#younghoon scenarios#younghoon reaction#TBZ hyunjae#hyunjae scenario#hyunjae imagine#hyunjae reaction#Kevin the boyz#Kevin reactions#Chanhee reactions
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playlist one , the boyz ( lsg to kvm ) :
ꕤ lee sangyeon ,
someone
⠀
[ 7:02am ]
[ 5:12pm ]
[ 6:14am ]
⠀
ꕤ bae jacob ,
summer love
birthday cake
melatonin
co-lover
white lily
⠀
ꕤ kim younghoon ,
corny jokes
reassuring hands
kinda miss you
i didn't forget
⠀
[ 1:02am ]
[ 2:45am ]
⠀
ꕤ lee hyunjae ,
suffocating ( written serie , discontinued )
this special look
stay
waffle
loser, lover
crazy
too late
only for practice
⠀
[ 9:32am ]
[ 4:35pm ]
[ 10:37pm ]
⠀
ꕤ lee juyeon ,
his s/o waking up in the middle of the night
cute little intruder
bad day, but good boyfriend
daydream
terrible idea
the bet
cold hands
risky
sick of you
⠀
[ 5:34pm ]
[ 10:45pm ]
[ 7:52pm ]
[ 8:57pm ]
⠀
ꕤ moon kevin ,
bad words
the little prince
⠀
[ 3:37pm ]
[ 11:23am ]
⠀
. . . link to maknae line !
#⠀stealanity : the boyz masterlist⠀#the boyz#the boyz imagines#tbz imagines#the boyz scenarios#tbz scenarios#the boyz drabbles#tbz drabbles#the boyz timestamps#tbz timestamps#tbz#tbz x reader#the boyz x reader#tbz fluff#tbz angst#tbz reactions#the boyz reactions#the boyz angst#the boyz fluff#juyeon imagines#lee hyunjae imagines#sangyeon imagines#younghoon imagines#kevin imagines#jacob imagines#lee juyeon#lee hyunjae#bae jacob#moon kevin#kim younghoon
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