#just my parents who think that and the fact that they do means that there is something fundamentally wrong with me so i carry that into
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GG: aaaaa please dont tell anyone i told you about him! […]
CA: settle dowwn jade youre radically underestimatin the amount of shit i dont givve about this […]
CA: i got bigger ships to sink and soon wwhen im good and ready me and my luminous fuckin science stick havve got a date wwith jack noir
Seems like Eridan's planning to join Vriska.
Correction - he's planning to rejoin Vriska.
If he's trying to restart their kismesissitude, he's going to be sorely disappointed. Vriska is out of his league, and not just as a romantic partner. She's a god, and he's an angry kid with a wand who represents no threat whatsoever to Noir.
CA: wwhys this matter so hush hush anywway
GG: he didnt want me to tell my friends who he really was […]
GG: he was so nice, and it really did feel like i was talking to family, so i really dont think he was making it up
I think your intuition is correct, but that doesn't mean he's specifically your grandson. After all, 'family' is a term which can encompass all sorts of relationships.
GG: i couldnt help but try to imagine his parents…
GG: and more interestingly…….
GG: his grandfather :O
Even if he is your grandson, that doesn't necessarily mean he has a grandfather. As far as I can tell, there's no reason why the Veil's DNA-mixing machine couldn't merge the genes of two women.
For all we know, Pen-Pal could have four biological grandmothers!
CA: that gun i just gavve you is somethin of a hatchright to the kid
CA: happy i could play a role in your dirty stinkin lineage
GG: like an heirloom? i guess it could be
GG: do you even have those? if you dont have parents how could you?
CA: no wwe dont knoww our direct forebears and im pretty sure any attempt to seek out or evven inquire about the supplier of your genes wwould be a fine wway to get yourself killed
I didn't think a troll's genes had an individual supplier.
Based on the fact that their genetic material is combined in the Mother Grub, I've been assuming that each troll is created from a large number of 'parents', whose DNA is mixed in the Mother's stomach.
Obviously, our Sgrub trolls are going to be an exception to this rule, since the game presumably cloned them from twelve Guardians - but Eridan seems to be implying that all trolls have an individual parent.
This doesn't align at all with what we know about troll reproduction. There also seems to be a certain amount of secrecy surrounding this process, since Eridan thinks you'd be killed for looking into it. Is there some sort of conspiracy at play?
CA: but wwevve got our lore and it says wwe all got indivvidual ancestors wwho contribute to most of our genes abovve and beyond wwhat the grubs slurry does
Alright, that makes a little more sense. So trolls are derived from a large mixture of DNA, but they have one true 'parent' who contributes the lion's share of genetic data.
Maybe an embryonic troll starts off as a clone of this parent, and other trolls' genes are slowly spliced into it as it develops.
Again, for the Sgrub trolls, things are a little different. We have reason to believe they were cloned in sets of three, implying that each of them has three genetic donors. Perhaps, then, they each inherited the majority of their DNA from one of these trolls - their 'ancestor' - and only share a small number of genes with the other two.
These ancestors have been mentioned before - quite a while ago, now - and I think they may be the key to solving a major mystery of the Hivebent arc.
Namely, Aradia mentioned her ancestors, and seemed to believe she was following their orders. When Scratch's plans started to reveal themselves, I assumed that he was the one directing Aradia, and was only pretending to be these unseen forebears.
With this new revelation, however, I'm forced to reconsider my stance. What if the Voices were those of the ancestors?
What if Aradia was being instructed by the troll Guardians all along?
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✨Time for Vanilla’s Opinion 🍰
Edition #1: thoughts on hate & caring about what others think of you.
Regardless of what people think of you, you need to understand that it only matters/ means something if you decide it to. What i mean is that i know lots of people say “you should only care about your opinion. Others opinion of you dont matter” but that’s only true if YOU DECIDE IT TO BE TRUE. I will say this again: this is your life!!!!!
If you choose to accept and believe the nonsense that others will think/ say of you, then you are saying “i dont have the confidence and self love in myself to only accept my opinion, so im going to give you the power over my emotions and how i act :)” do you really want to do that? Because that’s what you’re doing when you start acting based on how you think others are gonna think of you and what their perception is.
Remember: what other people think of you is just THEIR PERCEPTION. Stop making your personality & yourself dependent on what another person thinks of you!!
And also, some people will literally just hate on anything because of how sad their life is. I mentioned this before, and im gonna mention it again: there could be a video of CATS PLAYING on YouTube and you’ll find someone criticising and hating on that. That’s how sad some of these people in life are. So stop trying to or thinking that since you love yourself and you’re “perfect” that everyone should/ would like you because THATS NOT TRUE.
I read this quote once: “you could be the most juiciest, yummiest apple in the world, yet there would still be someone out there who doesn’t like apples.”
“So then.. what do i do if I receive hate? It’s still mean and hurtful.”
WHY does it still hurt??? WHY are you giving that person ANY control over how you feel???? If this person is someone who’s your friend or close to you, when they do it, TELL THEM THAT YOU DONT LIKE IT!!! Without communication and understanding, you will only start to build resentment for the other person, creating a toxic relationship. Comunícate your boundaries clearly by telling them that firmly, NOT in a joking manner, that you don’t like it. Now ofc if they do it once more, remind them again. Most of the time, if this person really cares about you, they will respect your feelings and stop doing that. But if it happens more times, you’ve gotta stop giving your energy to them. Reserve that for something that actually matters.
You may or may not have noticed that i did not write “just cut them out” because i know how difficult that can be, especially if you’re a kid still living with your parents. Because at some times, you’re stuck in the situation you’re in for a while (for example: a workplace, living at home, in 1 class at school) so its not as easy to just “cut them out”. And that’s why i wrote “stop giving your energy to them”. Because THATS what the parasites are feeding on! Your energy and attention! Take that away from them and see what happens.
BUT….;
know that what I’m NOT saying is to be a stone-cold bitch who doesn’t care at all about others or their happiness. (Because honestly, doing that shows me that you’re a lot more insecure) A lot of people now would be like “but it’s not my responsibility to ensure they’re happy. They are their own person in charge of their own actions and feelings!” Sure, ok. But then don’t come whining to me about how you have no friends and how you feel so lonely and sad. ‘You’re your own person and in charge of your own feelings’, remember? So if someone decides to leave a relationship (whether it’s a friendship, or with romance) with you because you don’t make them feel happy, then don’t be surprised about that because ‘they are their own person.’
But look, i completely agree with the fact that you and every individual indeed are in charge of their own feelings and actions, but just stop and think about it for a sec; would YOU want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t give a hoot about your happiness? Yuck, no!!
So to put it in more simple/ plain terms: be KIND to people, bring smiles to peoples faces when you can (give them a compliment, help them out, listen to them, offer advice, etc.) but don’t something that compromises your own wellbeing and happiness. Cus like, how is complimenting someone’s hair or eyes gonna hurt you? If anything it would just make you happier. But also don’t live your life constantly on the edge, afraid of what he’s gonna think of you, what shes gonna say about you, etc. etc.
I guess that’s pretty much it. <3 anyyywayys i hope you enjoyed the 1st edition of the series! If you have requests, comment on this post of send an ask using the ‘tea’ button ☕️
Xoxo, Vanilla
#agirlwithglam🎀✨#vanilla self improvement⭐️#thoughts#self improvement#vanilla’s opinion#my thoughts#it girl energy#becoming that girl#self development#it girl#girlboss#self love#girlblog#dream girl#becoming your dream girl#self validation#confidence#that girl#kindness#life#advice#girlblogging#vent#rant#socialising#up levelling
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I think Alfyn is neat and I wish more people would explore his motivations and emotions outside of his c3 and ships! I think he probably has a lot of unresolved issues around the fact that of all of the parent figures and role models he's had that we know of, every single one of them is dead
no you are so fucking totally right because. (OK OT1 H’aanit ch4 spoilers for those following me who haven’t played and want to you have been warned) ok you know what this is the perfect fucking opportunity to talk about. the fact that because ot1 is my favorite bad game ever and doesn’t have any kind of travel banters surrounding galdera ar anything we never get ANY kind of commentary on the fact that Redeye is Graham Crossford. he also doesn’t ever talk to tressa after she finds out that he’s the author of her diary. i feel like it’s such a missed opportunity… like, this guy basically decided the trajectory of Alfyn’s life and Tressa HAS AN ACCOUNT of more of the shit he’s done. and then like, Alfyn potentially had a hand in personally being one of the people to put Redeye down (and he should be there, fuck you full party unconsciousness we sealticge + rehabilitate) to which he would not find out that that was literally the man who saved his life until the gate of finis which has to be. literally probably the most devastating thing he could possibly find out. i mean, like obviously he was too far gone to be saved but it’s alfyn, you know there’s a part of him that’s like but really, did it have to be like that? he was a person, once, and you know. there’s magic. miracle medicine. it’s the kind of dawning horror that gives you nightmares for the rest of your life, and that’s after the nightmares you’d get just from looking at redeye. not to mention the fact that garham was still at the very least, a sliver of an amount present enough to write a “kill me” message in marsalim. like hoooooooly shit this would weigh on Alfyn so much worse than anyone else. and then like, we know from his ch3 to his ch4 like… this stuff weighs on him. just because he did the best he could with the information he had at the time doesn’t mean it’s going to not affect him, even post-arc more assured alfyn. like ultimately he would come to the conclusion that he really did end up doing the right thing, but still. like you said, he’s lost his parents, his hero, just like. it’s a lot. i think in summary holy shit Alfyn man we gotta get you a therapist.
#alfyn ch3 one of my fav chapters in the game and ofc you know im alfion stan supreme but.#FUCKING aghhhh im so insane about alfyn i always am thinking abt this guy but THIS SPECIFICALLY#I WANTED THIS THREAD RESOLVED SO FICKING BAD OR AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGED#i think if ot1 had an ot2 style final chapter we would’ve got something about this though.#also i think Kit and Alfyn should be friends. also#octopath traveler spoilers#i should probably. tag spoilers for this huh
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Hey it's time for me to rant about mildly annoying things about society and being aro/ace! (Long post warning)
Okay so when I was eating dinner with my parents today and we were talking about our grandparents for a bit. Specifically, my grandma getting sick, and how my uncle traveling around all the time but living with them did not help that. Anyway then I was thinking about him, because he's unmarried with no kids and so is my other uncle. So then I brought up the fact that I have no first cousins, making my one joke about the topic that I'm the onliest only child ever. And we laughed about it for a bit, but then my mom said something else.
“See that's why –and I feel a bit like Jane Austen saying this– that's why you have to get married”
And my aroace brain already did not like that, but obviously I wasn't going to tell her that because I'm not out?? And then my dad then butted in with a joke about the reason being that the family line would end if I didn't, which annoyed me, but interestingly, my mother brushed that aside.
Instead, she said “because when you get old you won't have any siblings or cousins to help you.”
I... Had not been expecting that. So I sat there, not liking where the conversation had gone but not doing anything about it. I just put it aside to rant about later (this is that) and moved on with my evening
But I've come back to it now.
I'm not mad at my mom for telling me that I have to get married. I'm annoyed at my situation and our society for existing in a way where she's right.
I don't have siblings or cousins I'm close with who could help me. The only people I have are my friends, and who knows if I'll still be friends with them? Also, I have maybe one actually aro friend, all the others are highly likely to get into romantic relationships and maybe have children. They'll have their own people to be taking care of. I'm just going to be lower priority, that's how our society works. Hell, with the internet the way that it is, there's no guarantee that I would even live in the same area as most of my friends.
And this isn't even just an old age thing. What happens if I need a serious surgery? What person, with their own job and family and life, has the time to spend taking care of their friend for an extended period of time? I mean, I might, but I don't have the whole romance thing getting in the way.
I realize that I'm being pessimistic and that I should probably have more faith in both my friends and the way the world works. I'm just frustrated that because we place so much more emphasis on romance than we do friendships, once people start pairing up the friendships get left behind a little bit. I'm frustrated that you could make an argument that I might have to get married, not because I truly want to, but for the sake of my own health and comfort in the future. I'm frustrated that someone can say something as uncomfortable to me as “you have to get married,” and still have a decent point.
Again, I'm being a pessimist and I'm not mad at my mom. Or my dad.
…I need more irl aro friends.
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Gilmore Girls characters from someone who watched two episodes and also keeps seeing gifsets
Rory: the fact she thinks that people at private schools care about education more than people at public schools is so sweet! also so incorrect it just means that if they fail their gcses their parents can pay the school to keep them in for a-levels (a real rumour that spread throughout my highschool). I hear she sucks in later seasons.
Jess: the funniest character to me because he's like a sensitive white boy who reads 20th century american literature and everyone in the entire town is like He's Pure Evil Actually. He's just sitting there. C'mon now.
Dean/Logan: I think Logan is the evil boyfriend with the spiky hair and Dean isthe evil one with floppy hair BUT I've been informed one of them isn't fully evil and idk which. Probably Dean because I think Logan was the one Paris delivered that really slay speech to and frankly I side with her.
Paris: me but blonde.
Lorelai: I honestly don't care about her. But she seems nice.
Luke: frankly same. I appreciate the flannels.
The boy who told Lane's mother that he read the entire Bible for her and just wanted to take her to prom: honestly so so beloved by proxy to me the fact I know they don't end up together is so heartbreaking to me.
Lane: all I know is she was cool and had an arc about music and learning to embrace herself and not marry young like her mother wanted and then she married young so wtf was that.
The grandparents: I don't agree with the idea that they're the real heros actually because they do kind of suck but they're also not evil I wish people discussed them with more nuance because it feels like it could be interesting.
Chris: Rory's dad??? maybe????? he comes up sometimes??????? I don't know this man there are so many in this show and they are so irrelevant.
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rescue corps headcanons because I'm insane
(there are many)
– mirror pronouns pom
– that's all I got
– man!!
– Bernard started TALKING in this specific MANNER for the BIT years and years back and now he can't STOP he is STUCK someone HELP him
– he ALSO might be doing it to try to put EMPHASIS on the words he believes should have it and sometimes HE DOES not succeed
– he reads as ADHD coded to me but it might be because I also talk like that so take that with a grain of salt
– "HEY GIRL. I MEAN ANY PRONOUNS"
– Bernard had the most normal home life by far. No contest, won by default. I have a GREAT relationship with both of MY parents because they LOVE me
– he is incredibly observant. alarmingly so. will sometimes act out of the loop on purpose, if he thinks things would just be easier that way. accidentally learns everything about everyone, the guy's an information magnet and he doesn't know how to feel about that
– do you guys think Russ has made a spacesuit with the doc ock arms because I think he has and that he actively uses it on missions
– occasionally jumpscares people and giggles about it. he got the tendency to do this from his mother, who can smell fear
– while I doubt Russ would do things "for the bit" he would ABSOLUTELY act on impulse in the name of the scientific method. this has gotten him hurt before. it's fine
– does not make coffee he just eats the fucking grounds. "it's a Giyan thing, you wouldn't understand" this is not true at all he is LYING
– Russ and Yonny get into frequent arguments (light banter) about literally everything and I mean Everything. They could work together they'd be really powerful that way, but they don't
– Russ has so many genuinely funny science puns that he makes and no one ever gets them and it devastates him
– except for Yonny, who is too busy searching for ethics guideline loopholes to acknowledge that he understands the joke
– Yonny has the most HORRIFIC life stories and will drop them CASUALLY. thought they were funny, is only now beginning to realize that it does in fact make people concerned and uncomfortable when he does that
– prefers paper books to digital because he's prone to headaches!! cites "phone bad book good" as the official reason but that's not the reason
– nonbinary and evil. presentation tends to "default" as masc but switches up often! hey girl I mean any pronouns
– knows like a hundred million dead languages for absolutely no reason
– makes art in his spare time because murder is wrong
– Shepherd sleeps with a nightlight, or at the very least can't rest well in complete darkness!! she's just like me fr !!!!
– "she snores" thank you duncan for your contribution. honk shoe
– also I think she might be autistic I can't fully back that one up do not ask me to but look at her. she cares about dogs the way I care about fish
– prone to coming across the wrong way, tone wise. very very good at giving backhanded compliments that were meant to be fully sincere and just got horribly lost in translation. this keeps her up at night. she feels AWFUL
– big fan of karaoke!! not exactly GOOD at it but we love her initiative
– as afraid as she is of the pikmin, their voices and funny little words are very catchy and she does find herself repeating them often. she will not admit this. it is embarrassing
– Collin is also autistic. I could make an entire separate post on this I'm being so goddamn serious, I have so much reasoning, I am fully confident that he is, and that he masks REALLY hard, and it enormously fucked him up
– special interest in machinery (NO ONE saw THIS coming)
– transmasculine. his name is a pun on "call in." heard the phrase and realized he had the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever
– we only hear about his grandfather, and not even from him; no other family is mentioned at all!! went no contact with like everybody else, above points might be why. people with normal childhoods don't stand like that
– adding onto the canon sleep talking with sleep movement! a LOT of it! has probably kicked someone before!!
– "he wakes up upside down" thank you duncan
– i think maybe Dingo might still have glow stick light up bones. will rediscover this one day during an expedition mishap and it will be an Experience
– not a hc but Dingo is the type of guy to get bit in a zombie apocalypse and not tell anyone until the literal last second
– "he would also say "fuck my stupid baka life"" thank you duncan
– would fight by rolling up his sleeves and jumping around cartoonishly. he would more likely talk like he's winning the fight when he is in fact actively losing. "had enough yet? (on the floor)"
– definitely games and he wins the competitive ones by button mashing. "I'll never tell you my strategy" he prays that's the strategy
– his sleep schedule is NOT normal. it's so beyond skewed. he either gets like 2 hours of sleep or he wakes up the following night not knowing what year it is
#pikmin#pikmin 4#pikmin headcanons#bernard pikmin#russ pikmin#yonny pikmin#shepherd pikmin#collin pikmin#dingo pikmin
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The Truth About Your Mother|Levi x Evelyn
(A/N: I wanted to do a oneshot with older Levi and his grown kids. I've been brainrotting about how they would interact with their parents and their father's ways. Let me know if I should do a part 2 with the story! (Because it got really long for build up lmao))
WARNINGS: implied noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, graphic depictions of violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc.
================================================
Levi's children were his pride and joy, after all he had put Evelyn through in the end she had blessed him with seven children. Four strapping boys and three beautiful girls. Furlan and Isabel were nearly grown now, and the twins Kenneth and Erwin were old enough to have a mind of their own.
Each of his children lived up to their namesakes, named after those he both loved and hated simply because of the person who carried the name before them. He wanted each of his children to embody the strength and spirit of those who they named them after. Although after the first few, he ran out of noble people to name his children after, leaving him with one Julien, and his youngest daughter Maria, named after the mission that brought him his wife and the greatest honor he had ever recieved.
Growing up they had a strict regime in order to become just like their father in all things. He wanted these brats to be a legacy for him. To have anyone who came in contact with one of them know they were Ackermans. When they succeeded he rewarded them greatly. Many a nobleman's child envied the lavish birthday parties and Christmas celebrations Levi gave.
They all grew up to respect and adore their father. Able to tell him anything and receive sound advice, as well as affection. He rarely raised his hand towards them, and when he did they knew why they had deserved it.
However they never knew the truth about their mother's history. Or how she was treated.
After her return to the manor, what Levi ingrained Furlan into remembering as "Mama's big mistake", was the last time she defied Levi. Soon her attitude became like his, and therefore like her children. The town's people bitterly nicknamed it the "Ackerman arrogance", when the dark hair and cold eyes of that family entered the vicinity, all knew to watch out or be cut down with their influence and sharp tongue.
Evelyn was more nurturing and caring than Levi, and left all the discipline to him. However the children still favored their father, since it was his instruction and wallet that gave them all their heart's content.
Levi never beat or even yelled at his wife in front of their kids, determined to show himself in the best light to them. But they were all warned to let Papa know if Mama was trying to disobey him.
He had carefully constructed his life so his children would never know the terrible secret.
At least he thought.
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Furlan had been Erwin Smith's personal assistant since he was old enough to be. Having the lessons of the military beaten into him he didn't have to go to basic training. But that didn't mean he didn't catch onto the other's looks of envy and annoyance seeing such a young cadet get such a valued position.
While he sat typing up the notes from the Commander's last meeting he couldn't help but notice today Erwin staring at him.
"Is something wrong, sir?"
Erwin shakes his head. "Nothing really. I just can't get over how much you look like Levi."
Furlan offers the slightest smile. "Thank you sir, that means a lot."
"How is the old bastard getting on? We've both been so busy friendly chats are out of the question."
"As well as he can be. I don't think he'll ever shake that limp and his cane, I've never seen him without it since I was born. But he's the same Levi, in fact I think my siblings help keep him and Mother young."
Erwin scoffs. "Of course. Nothing can touch the unkillable soldier."
Furlan detects the bitterness in his voice. "Sir? Can I ask you a question?"
"What is it."
"Do you not like my father? I know my brother is named after you but it still seems like you don't like him."
"I respect that he knows how to play the game. I respect his judgement and his skills. But no, I'm not particularly fond of him."
"Can I ask why?"
"Ask him for the truth about your Mother, about how he got her to marry him."
"Sir-"
"If you want the truth, then you'll have to suck it up and demand it yourself. He's been lying to you all for years."
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"And that's what he said Father." Furlan had gathered the oldest four siblings, him, Kenneth, Isabel, and Erwin all together to hear what Levi had to say. The little ones didn't need to hear this, especially if it was what he feared.
Levi taps his cigarette into the waiting tray. "So you think your old man has been lying to you. My own brats don't trust me."
Isabel is quick for damage control. "Please Father, you know we're not accusing you of anything. We just want to know the truth."
Levi pats her head, taking a moment and sighing. "Very well. I think you should all have a seat.
#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#break me slowly#levi x oc#levi aot#levi x reader#levi ackerman#yandere levi#yandere levi ackerman#yandere levi x reader
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dear lady wisteria, can we get a reading on jk's fs' parents reaction to jk and their first meeting?
sure :)
i got six cards! her parents got quite the bit to say, this post includes channeling (hence why i only answer this question two days after you asked me this)
long reading ahead!
the emperor. wheel of fortune. the empress. five of cups. death. the star.
with the emperor, they look at him as a very masculine man. it seems that her parents are the traditional type, hence why the religious background came up in a previous reading. they've always looked at their daughter like a princess the moment she was born and they believe that she deserves someone to treat her like one. jk is wealthy, successful, influential, well-known, and in the upper class. this reassures them that he can support her in everything as she needs and won't have to worry about the bills. a strong man who's the breadwinner of the household and takes care of his wife is what they desire for her and he fits the standard.
with the empress, they connect him with the idea of "venus." literally heard her dad saying "he's a pretty boy" but still acknowledges that jk is extremely handsome and good looking while her mom acknowledges that too and looks at him like "a gentleman" after they had a full conversation. her mom could see the love in his eyes for their daughter as it is extremely obvious. its that whole theory where a person is so good looking, you'd assume they're a good person (this is the halo effect, not an opinion or fact, just a theory).
however, with death and the wheel of fortune, they aren't too sure. they are delighted that she found someone that matches her energy and suits her. this is also think of jungkook as a lucky and almost "god-given" gift for their daughter, where they will also have bragging rights at cocktail parties but...they don't think they will last (on first impression, later on they know they will commit). they think he may not have enough time for her because he is an extremely busy man and that he might just be "another lesson" in her life.
they know that she needs someone to be there for her even though she acts like she doesn't. his tattoos and his handsome face throws them off a little too, there was a vision of when he first enters their home, her dad says something like "he looks like a player/an f-boy" in their ethnic language (which doesn't sound like korean) and her mom hits his shoulder and is like "be nice, you know she likes him a lot."
short answer for the five of cups, just like their daughter, her parents are really good at reading people. give them one conversation with you and they will most likely know what you ate on tuesday (exaggerating but you know what i mean). they could see that he looks like "a loner" (I DID NOT SAY THIS, they did, not me lol). very smiley and happy but looks like he's very lonely and been through a lot.
they think of him as the type to regret a lot of things and push people away when they are upset but they just hope that he doesn't do the same with their daughter so they're unsure of his mental capability of being in a relationship with their daughter. they don't think he's ready even though he's a grown ass man.
despite all of these things, with the star, they can't help but feel hopeful. this is the first time that she's been this open with them when it comes to bringing them someone to meet and they acknowledge that she's serious about jk and wants to be with him.
although it seems likely in their eyes that the outcome may not be the best, they see how they match each other extremely well and made for each other as if "they were adam and eve." they think that if they somehow work it out, they'd be so happy and have a long and forever-lasting relationship, they have nothing against him. they're all for him.
reminder: none of my readings are ever 100% accurate, including everyone else's.
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Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.
G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.
An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........
#the unwanted guest#the unwanted guest spoilers#the locked tomb#ianthe tridentarius#augustine the first#pyrrha dve#palamedes sextus#this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate)#the locked tomb meta#the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though.#of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world#utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there#and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea#when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter#it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level'#she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him#because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing#to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after#IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival#ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god#gaining nothing at the cost of everything
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No i dont think its a good thing to make hating children your entire personality but can i please just say that i dont like them and dont want to deal with screaming temper tantrums and meltdowns from other peoples kids (especially, ESPECIALLY when the parents are absolutely useless in dealing with them) without 30,000 people crawling out of the woodwork to assume that i think all kids should die
#i dont like them. in fact i kind of do hate them#but i am also a mature adult who can control my actions and do not show it outwardly#i am actually very good with kids#but i dont want anything to do with them and my dislike of them doesnt mean im a child abuser#thinking of this after working the family and disability line at work today#and the amount of meltdowns i had to soothe myself because their parents just stared blankly at them#and how this happens all day every day in that line#its because you put their teddy bear into a bin and it disappeared. thats why theyre screaming. they dont know where its going#why is it my job to go 'dont worry! lions just getting his picture taken like you do at school :)) you might be able to see it if#you ask the officer very nicely at the other end of the line :))'#its 4 in the morning. dont make me do two jobs at once#vent post
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do y’all ever think about how yancy knows how to break out of prison and actively chooses not to. do you ever think about how when he breaks us out he knows the way so easily as if he’s been there a million times before. do you ever wonder if at some point he considered breaking himself out and just couldn’t go through with it.
#i have been thinking about this for the last few days it’s absolutely rotted my brain. like it’d occurred to me before but my brain is sooo#fixated on this lately like he. he knows. and he doesn’t. he’s done bad things and he doesn’t think he deserves it#just. younger yancy who just killed his parents and hasn’t fully processed anything trying to break himself out#standing at the gate knowing he can take a step out and be free again. and he doesn’t. and everything sinks in for him and he just slowly#goes back to his cell. and a few more times he does the exact same thing but… he just can’t bring himself to leave.#he constructs this half-truth about prison life being great and makes friends- makes a family. but. when y/n leaves the first thing he says#is that he’s done bad things. the ‘and hey! this is home!’ seems more like an afterthought that he’s trying to convince himself is true#god the fact that y/n gets a universal key in ending 12… i can see y/n breaking in to try and convince him to leave but he just won’t. he#could’ve gotten out before even without that. but he won’t. if he’s gonna get out he’s gonna do it right. even if it means he can’t stab any#one anymore :( and cmon everyone knows he loves to STAB#this seemed more tangential to include but also. do you think yancy’s ever broken anyone else out?#…do they visit? he was absolutely overjoyed when y/n visited in space i think he doesn’t get that many ngl…#god this character has like 15 or 16 minutes of screen time idk i haven’t recounted after space came out#*pats his head* this bad boy can fit so much overanalysis and headcanons in him#yancy#markiplier#yancy ahwm#ahwm yancy
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look, man. one of the things about preaching the importance of Community is you have to understand, you need to believe that shit and act like you actually care about the other 'undesirable' members of society. specifically in public. yes, even about children, teenagers. yes, even people with bad opinions on things. yes, even about people who are 'annoying' to you. because guess what? being Alive means you will be all 3 of those things at various points in your life, multiple times for multiple years. don't you wish others would be kind to you?
#thats just the way it fuckin is#if you say you want a supportive community it means youre going to have to step up and stop bitching about it#milas thoughts#idk i was just thinking about the trend of people my age who have seemed to have built their entire political stance on 'fuck you got mine'#none of us have Jack Shit until all of us do. btw.#im mainly mostly talking about kids in this post. it is a little weird that the response to like#the world generally getting more conservative#has been to Blame The Children#for falling for it when like... the fact We dont want to 'parent someone elses kids' means that SOMEBODY ELSE WILL.#idk. idk
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I've found that, when interacting with others (or myself), it's useful to consider the lessons I'd want to teach a growing child.
If a child makes a mistake, I wouldn't want them to feel shame. I wouldn't yell at them, humiliate them, or in any way indicate to them that their mistake is a reflection of their worth or of who they are as a person.
Instead, I'd want them to associate the process with love and joy. If they say something that hurts someone's feelings, or otherwise ostracizes someone in some way, I'd compassionately explain to them. Ideally, they'd walk away knowing why they said / did it in the first place, how to handle similar situations in the future, and would accept the consequences (e.g. if a friend no longer wanted to hang out with them).
While the consequences may sometimes be painful, I'd do my best to instill in them that mistakes are human and natural, and that the process of learning from these mistakes is an opportunity to improve connections with others and express love.
I have a tendency towards excessive guilt. Memories in which I've said / done something ignorant or hurtful are infused with this guilt and shame- but ideally, I'd feel a sense of love and peace, and perhaps happiness, when looking back on them. Because they were moments of growth, moments I learned how to be more compassionate (even if the actual learning came years later).
So I'll put this out into the void:
When you make a mistake, that is not a reflection of you as a person. It is a moment in time, a moment which was informed by your past experiences. Humans are not static labels, or monsters in an RPG game. We are social creatures who live and learn and react and grow and experience and love. Be gentle with yourself and move forward knowing you're doing so in accordance with your values.
#parenting#internet culture#self compassion#i'd also want to teach them critical thought of course - there are varying ideas of what constitutes mistakes or ignorance or harm#and that's a messy subject which is often a challenge to teach and is beyond the scope of this post but it's important#to avoid being subject to manipulation or becoming reactionary#but anyways#to clarify something in the tags here: it's okay of course to feel bad. that's a normal response. but it's not necessary. and a culture of#shaming people for their mistakes isn't helpful in the same ways it isn't helpful to do that to a child. people become defensive and/or#self-hating. divisive and reactionary and more easily manipulated. fearful and ashamed and avoidant. afraid of disagreements or of trying#anything new. increased all-or-nothing thinking and blowing things out of proportion. it just doesn't help in the long run#sometimes when someone says something i want to express hatred and mockery towards; i think of my trans friend who's full of light and love#and compassion. who came from a smaller more conservative community and used to have some of those same stances (and may still hold some of#those feelings/anxieties). and i remember that i can be firm on my boundaries and spread love and acceptance and safety *without* spewing#vitriol at anyone who makes even a minor mistake. i want people who were impacted by oppression and bias to have space to grow and#find safe communities and be able to think for themselves. i dont want to push them away or be another person in their life screaming at#them. there's always a person behind the screen.#like that doesnt mean i have to interact with them. in fact in most cases it's better to step away. and there are still unsafe people out#there- but yelling at them won't do any good either. saw a tip to focus on the people you want to help rather than the opposition#and that's been super helpful for me
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I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.
#blue chatter#am I good at ASL? hahahahahahaha. no.#ASL and English grammar are incredibly different and even when I remember my vocab I am easily clockable as hearing#but I do have some language capacity now. enough to communicate the basics.#and I just. genuinely really enjoy it. it’s fun to learn and engaging in a way most of my classes just aren’t.#and I can. yanno. communicate respectfully w Deaf ppl. and learn about their culture#which is incredibly important given that I want to go into a field where there is a higher incidence than typical of Deaf people#autistic? you’re more likely to be Deaf!#not to mention the fact that sign language can sometimes be a useful alternative to speech for nonspeaking/nonverbal people#depending on the person obvi; some nonspeaking/nonverbal autistics cannot use sign language and that’s okay#but surely at some point I will encounter either a Deaf client or a nonspeaking/nonverbal client who uses ASL#and when that time comes I should have some idea of how to communicate with them#I also rly like the Deaf church by my parents’ house#their community is really welcoming and their services are really interesting#I think it’s rly cool how they take intentions directly from the congregation#they’ll raise their hands and then sign what their intention is from their pew to the ambo#which is rly neat#it is funny bc every time I go the Deaf ppl I talk to will tell each other ‘go slow she’s hearing’#which is ENTIRELY fair bc. I am hearing. and I do need them to go slower.#but it also makes me laugh bc truly everyone knows within a few minutes.#oh hey the new person? they’re hearing. yeah they’re learning ASL at college. sign slowly for her.#which again makes sense bc a big Deaf culture thing is keeping ppl informed. it’s not gossip it’s getting everyone on the same page.#Deaf ppl do NOT beat around the bush that is like the height of rudeness to them. u say what u mean goshdangit. do not waste their time.#which I appreciate the heck out of bc i don’t have to try and phrase things delicately or w/e#it was also funny bc my mom came w me while I was home for Christmas and they asked her if I was her kid#and she said yes. and the lady running the kid’s craft corner thing was like ‘great you’re doing a craft now’#and I’m sitting there. visibly over 18 years old. amongst several seven year olds. trying desperately to figure out how to say hot glue gun#I made a v pretty pinecone tree it was a lot of fun ^-^
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cant stop thinking abt that reply to bram's post abt the abusive cluster b parents so just know if u were abused like that, first of all, samesies and it gave me cluster b pds as a result, second of all, i promise no one whos calling for understanding of cluster b ppl is invalidating ur experiences. if u feel like they ARE, i sincerely hope u realise u dont have to have a medical explanation for why others suck. if ur parents sucked, u can just say that, and its freeing, and focusing on behavioural patterns instead of diagnoses (which u most likely dont have access to when it comes to strangers) will allow u to weed out actual bad ppl and keep urself safe(er)
#i understand its easy and comfortable to latch onto labels especially when it comes to parents#i did it#then i was diagnosed w the same shit#that was my turning point i think#when i realised we have the same shit and yet i am actively working very hard to be kind and compassionate#i dont go out of my way to be mean#at some point u have to realise that some ppl r just evil and mean spirited#and pds arent indicative of how self aware or kind or polite or compassionate someone is#i'd argue most of us put in SO much work to know ourselves and our potentially harmful behavioural patterns#way more than a neurotypical who never bothered to look inward for even a second#'these stereotypes dont come from nothing'#no shit! my dad called me both borderline and narcissist as insults AND I TURNED OUT TO HAVE BOTH#but let me tell u smth#most of my symptoms? are fucking survival mechanisms i learned as a child to avoid getting hurt. because thats what the brain does.#u know what else didnt come from thin air? sayings like hurt people hurt people#plus my victim complex allows me to write banger complaint letters now so theres that#look around u and be very comfortable w the fact that ur probably surrounded by a bunch of cluster b ppl that u adore#bc we're just ppl too#and ur doing urself a disservice trying to spot us#cluster b ppl can be evil ppl just as neurotypicals but they can also be ur friend who struggles w insecurities and is a huge ppl pleaser#bc they read the ableist posts too and they know everyone in the mainstream world thinks theyre evil#and when if u told them 'well my cluster b parents were abusive' in a less accusatory tone#maybe theyd look u in the eye w compassion and say 'yea i know how that feels and im here for u'
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childhood was spent thinking i’d go to hell and men would not love me if i swore so now to heal from that i am swearing as much as i fucking can until i come to my own fucking conclusion about how i feel regarding the usage of such crude vocabulary
#it needs to be my own decision and understanding that i do not want to swear#not because other people Told Me it’s not ladylike or im going to go to hell if i do it#if i end up deciding hey you know what i really dont like swearing then Boom i actually have a reason other than guilt and shame#because i will have been able to feel something Other than guilt and shame when swearing. if that makes sense#like instead of being consumed by guilt and shame every time i swear or think about swearing#i am able to come to it without bias and understand for myself (without guilt and shame) why it is wrong or harmful#(or rather IF it is wrong or harmful. ive not comr to my conclusion yet but you can see i still have preconceived notions about it)#and who knows maybe men wont love me after all and i will be unloved by God if i swear#then so be it because ive never known a single thing in my life without someone else telling me#i just want to figure it out and understand for myself without someone holding my hand because im too stupid to come to my own conclusion#my parents put me in a classical school so i could learn to think critically but then have removed every chance for me to think critically#because they are afraid i will make the wrong decision (even though supposedly i have learned critical thinking™)#and they didnt do that intentionally of course. and this sounds resentful but i truly dont mean it that way#i LOVE my parents and the fact that they wanted to put money into giving us good education rather than just nice possessions#they have wonderful hearts and the best of intentions. but no parent is perfect and every single one will affect their kids in some way#whether they meant to or not. or maybe they did something with good intention without realizing the harmful outcome#every day i realize that individuation is an actual thing and its not just a montage in a disney movie#froegis meep tag
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