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#just like. dont kick cats????? tf????????? like i can excuse him taking him away even when he was a big emotional support for me
transtemic · 3 years
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randomly remembered how my dad kicked my cat once and it almost fucked up his eye really bad and i had to put balm on it for like weeks and his eyes are still slightly mismatched because of it </3
#and also how he up and took my cat away to my grandmas house and didnt bring him back </3 WITHOUT TELLING ME BEFOREHAND </3333#like. i understand cats like. genuinely freak him out for whatever reason.#but the deep seated hatred of cats he has and the animal abuse just aren't it luv#like fr? one of the top worse things hes ever done. like its up there w his physical and emotional abuse of my mom and my siblings and of m#just like. dont kick cats????? tf????????? like i can excuse him taking him away even when he was a big emotional support for me#bc i genuinely wasnt the best at taking care of him (since i had to do it entirely by myself as a very depressed 12/13yo)#but if you dont want anything to do with him dont fucking touch him. if he was somewhere he wasnt supposed to still dont fucking kick him??#tho fr since he like. completely justified and rationalised beating his kids to himself. kicking a cat is not gonna be the hardest to do.#god sometimes i think im at an ok place in my relationship w my dad and w my trauma related to him but then boom.#this also speaks to the fact that i have also kinda excused and rationalised and minimised his abuse to myself#like i dont rlly know the full extent of it bc i was a kid and dont remember a lot of it and i prolly never truly will know it#and i have come to terms with it gradually over time through understanding both its effects on me and that my dad is also deeply tramatised#and cycle of abuse and forgiveness yada yada#but i am so deeply enraged every time i think about him hurting my baby. i rationalised it away at the time but looking back. fucking hell.#its also good that he took him away bc hes safe away from my dad now#is what i tell myself bc my grandma has been nothing but loving to me and her cats as far as i remember#but also i now know shes the one who fucked my dad up and heard the shit she put him through so sometimes i do worry but afaik shes changed#and its easier to forgive her for something she didnt do to me directly tho it still indirectly led to my own abuse#........ im getting off track. point is i can excuse past abuse towards me but i draw the line at animal abuse :) gn#ícaro rants#child abuse tw#abuse tw#abuse mention tw#child abuse mention tw#animal abuse mention tw#animal abuse tw#ask to tag#oh yeah also i remembered this bcy friends' cat's eye wasnt doing great??? but shes all better now thankfully <3
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