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#just ignore the sappiness under the read more <3
juwon-ah-moved · 2 years
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BEYOND EVIL (2021) + Ocean Vuong quotes
for @petekaos 💛💙
RAHUL !!!!! this will be only half a surprise i think, i’m sure you got that i was giffing beyond evil from what i said skdsnd but i really think the quotes will be a surprise eheh anyway time to get sappy ! damn it’s been 2 years already. when people say time flies they really mean it!! honestly these 2 years have been some of the happiest of my life overall, despite the bad and the ugly, and a huge part of it is that i got to go through them with you alongside me :’) you’ve been with me through thick and thin, we’ve laughed so much together, made dumb jokes, shared so many passions and brainrots, been homophobic towards mek’s 2022 costars together (JK!!!) and also we’ve supported each other in everything. i know i tell you all the time, but i’ll never stop saying it: i love you!!!! you are such a kind, funny, sweet, talented, supportive, fantastic person. i never get tired of talking to you, if anything when we don’t talk for a bit i miss you a lot. you’re my best friend and honestly i couldn’t ask for a better best friend like absolutely no one could fill in this role but you !! sure, maybe someone else wouldn’t tease me about pigeons (🙄) but we’re bonded by that pigeon shit so 🥰 i think i’ll never have the proper words to tell you how much you mean to me, but i hope i’ve somehow showed it to you in these two years and i hope i get so many more chances to in the future. here’s to many many more years of getting anons about our friendship 💙💛 love you so much !!!!!!!!
#beyond evil#**#rahul tag#i'll tag the show so anyone who wants to can rb this even if it's for rahul skdksdns#just ignore the sappiness under the read more <3#ANYWAY rahul AAAAAAA i hope you like this !!!#it was a Journey and it's not even that much of a complicated set but it was still jskdsnds i did my best :tiredcat:#i wanted to do something more... let's say special. or significant for our friendship#i guess#but no matter how hard i tried to think of something else my mind came back to beyond evil and this idea and so ... it happened#you did say you wanted me to gif it so :eyes: the dark scenes were hell to color WHAT THE HELLLLL#i tried :sob:#i hate being on desktop ANYWAYYYY i love you. i'm rambling because i'm nervous you won't like this that much.#thing is i've been thinking of 'one day i'll love ocean vuong' so much lately#and then it clicked that that line about a father is SOOOO juwon i just could not stop thinking about it ...#and i know how much you love ocean vuong and i love him too so this is hopefully nice <3#beyond evil and ocean vuong's works actually both give me those Feelings ..... bc they're both so raw. and full of pain and trauma and love.#I'M RAMBLING OKAY ENOUGH SJDKSDBSJDNS#hope you like this HAPPY 2 YEARS <3333333333 LOVE YOU :CRI: :CRI: :CRI:#ALSO WAIT LMAO yes this is only the first half of beyond evil and i've been kicking myself for not finishing the drama#bc i KNOWWWWW i would've had so much more to work with#and possibly i woud've made something better#maybe i'll make a part 2 once i'm finished with the drama tho
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lomltrentarnold · 10 months
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strawberry lipgloss — jude bellingham ₊˚ෆ
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ও hana’s notes : holiday jude blurb cause im feral after that photo dump 🫶 so sorry for any grammatical errors </3
MAIN MASTERLIST
┆ ° ♡ • ➵ ✩ ◛ °
“You ready, love?”
Jude’s voice echoed the room, you could hear his footsteps nearing closer to the bathroom from where you stand.
“5 more minutes!” you yelled out, struggling to put on your mascara.
You could hear his laugh booming at your answer, “You said that 10 minutes ago, babe.”
You ignored his remark as you were to focused on your task in hand. Not noticing the familiar figure of your boyfriend standing in the entryway of the door. His soft eyes stuck on you, completely in awe. He thinks you’re the prettiest. With your hair perfectly framing your face, your eyes shining under the bathroom light and your lips looking oh so kissable. He wonders what flavour lip balm you’re wearing.
Jude walked over to you, looming behind your frame as he kept his eyes on your reflection at the mirror in front of you. You jumped a bit after feeling Jude’s cold hands resting on your hip, your shirt riding up a bit at your movement that made him squeeze your sides when your skin touched.
“Ya scared me.” you laughed, relaxing in his hold. You pick up your strawberry lip balm, putting it on, before clapping your hands together excitedly. “I’m ready!”you turned your body around, smiling up at him.
Jude could feel himself melting when he saw your sweet smile. What did he do to deserve you?
“What did I do to deserve you?” Jude slipped out, the words replaying inside his mind and he just can’t hold it back.
You laughed, and Jude’s heart squeeze at the sound. “So sappy.” you softly hit his chest, kissing his cheek.
Jude was so enamoured by you, he didn’t even feel the shining lip stain that was now on his cheek. You giggled when you realised, moving to wipe it away. Your gaze involuntarily dropped down to his lips, as you planted a soft peck on them.
Before you could back away, Jude’s hand went behind your neck, tilting your head up to kiss you deeper. Your hands went to wrap around his waist.
You both broke apart, heavy breaths mingling with glazed eyes and love struck expressions, hands softly gripping the other for support.
A notification pinged from your phone making you glance at it, you read the text before looking at Jude, “We need to go, our friends are already there.” you breathed out, still trying to catch your breath from the make out session two seconds ago.
Jude shrugged his shoulders, hand at your jaw, thumb brushing your cheek, “5 more minutes.” he whispered, before crashing his lips with yours.
Now he knows what flavour your lip balm is.
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reblog for a kiss <3
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ramblingoak · 4 months
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Naps With Copia
Chapter 3: The Perfect Place To Nap
Other Naps: 1 / 2 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9
For @love-is-all-you-need-13 💙
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Papa Emeritus IV x GN Reader
These are all stand alone chapters so you do not have to read one before the other! This series came from my post about wanting to nap with Copia all around the abbey. The stories will all have gender neutral readers and soft Copia naps.
Warnings: Copia being sappy and cute, sfw, 517 words
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Copia was the best pillow in the abbey.
Well, technically Copia’s belly was the best pillow in the abbey.  It was the perfect place to lay your head.  Soft, warm and Copia would usually run his fingers through your hair while you rested there.  The movement seemed to be soothing for him as well because he often fell asleep with his hand resting gently on your head.
Today was no different.
You knew the signs by now, the little tells his body gave as he began to drift off to sleep.  The movie was long over and the screen on the tv had gone black as the credits finished.  Neither one of you bothered trying to find the remote.  If you moved too much the spell might be broken and you both enjoyed these quiet moments together so much it wasn't worth the risk.  Copia was always so busy this time of year he deserved every moment of rest he could get.  He mumbled something under his breath and you ran a hand up and down his arm to soothe him.  His eyes blinked open and he glanced at the tv before catching your eyes.  
“Want to watch another?”
“Not right now, amore.”  He gave you a sleepy smile, looking almost bashful at your words.  “What?”
“Niente, niente.  I just like it when you call me that.”
“Amore?”  Even in the low light of the room you could see his cheeks pink up a bit.  You couldn’t help but reach up and trace a finger lightly across his skin.  “I like it when you call me that too.”
He took your hand in his, the leather warm against your skin.  You held your breath when he began to press his lips against the tip of each finger.
“Amore, amore, amore,”  He nipped at your ring finger after kissing it, laughing when you hissed at him.  “Amore, amore.”
Copia didn’t move away from your thumb after he dropped his last kiss there, instead he stuck his tongue out and flicked it lightly against your skin.  It was his turn to hiss when you pulled your hand away and gently flicked his nose.
“None of that, Papa.  It’s nap time.”  
“Fine, fine.  Ruin my fun.”
You ignored his pout and settled your head more comfortably on his stomach.  He snuck a kiss into your palm before moving your hand down to rest on his chest.  You kept your hand there after he let go, his own immediately going to your head so he could start running his fingers through your hair.  It wasn’t long before sleep began to creep in and you could tell by how his hand had slowed down that he was drifting off as well. 
“This is perfect.”  
Your words were sleepily mumbled into his shirt but his hand still paused.  When he moved it to cup your cheek you shyly looked up at him, your own smile matching the soft one he was giving you.
“So are you, amore.”  He closed his eyes and you followed suit, your smile still there as he softly spoke again.  “So are you.”
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@foxybouquet your nap is next 😉
Other Naps: 1 / 2 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9
My Masterlist ~ My Archive of our Own ~ My Ko-Fi Tip Jar
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mncxbe · 5 months
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Hello! I really enjoy your posts they are really nice to read or re-read! I was wondering if you could do Fyodor headcanons (you could add chuuya dazai and more if you’d like) but fyodor x Gn!reader headcanons and how they would get ready for the holidays? Maybe make gingerbread houses or set up lights together? Feel free to ignore! :3
your ask just made me realise how close Christmas is goddamn~ I loved writing this. hope you like it anon♡♡
🎁
𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊, 𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓, 𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒐 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓
𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: fluff♡/ silly
°☆○
𝑭𝒚𝒐𝒅𝒐𝒓
☆ I'm gonna start off my saying that Fyodor most likely isn't particularly interested in the winter holidays, but he enjoys spending time with you. as long as he sees you smile, he's happy
☆ he's a big fan of baking; gingerbread, cupcakes with white and red frosting, deer shaped cookies. he loves it. although he doesn't always get involved, he spends hours on end by your side in the kitchen
☆ as for lights I think he likes those simple golden fairy lights; the flashy ones exhaust him fr
☆ hates to admit but he lowkey enjoys christmas movies; there's something extraordinary soothing about watching those sappy, same script films. it's a break in his routine
☆ I see him playing christmas music on the cello; but don't make him listen to commercial songs on the radio, he'll throw it out of the window
☆ he tells you stories about Russian christmas traditions or any other culture really
☆ he loves cuddling up to you under fluffy blankets while you two enjoy a cup of tea
☆ he's a sucker for the scent of oranges and cinnamon, so he'll buy some scented candles and place them around the house
𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊
★ you guys know those advent calendars with little chocolates for each day of December? yea, he has one of those
★ Dazai has never had the luxury of doing such mundane things as a kid; the Port Mafia isn't exactly a place to celebrate Christmas. so he puts a lot of effort into everything
★ loves to hang colourful lights around the house and other little ornaments (striped socks, christmas globes with that fake, glittery snow)
★ one evening he shows up with cookie shapes and asks you to make gingerbread with him
★ a marathon with Christmas movies is a must; you two sprawled on the bed with a mug of hot chocolate while the films roll in the background
★ he kisses you under the mistletoe every morning to "practice for the Christmas evening kiss"
★ he definitely wears a santa hat or reindeer horns while decorating the house. and knows "All I want for Christmas is you" by heart (it started off as a joke but he can't stop)
★ keep the mulled wine away from him
𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒐
☆ because of work he's often too busy to help you decorate the place, but his heart swells with joy when he comes home one evening and finds your shared apartment nicely adorned with lights
☆ I feel like he also prefers more dimly lit lights, or even candles
☆ does his best to find time to bake something with you. he's a big fan of Panettone and sweetbread with sugar frosting
☆ buys you early presents for sure, to compensate for his absence
☆ look me in the eye and tell me this man doesn't wear fuzzy Christmas socks
☆ loves listening to jazzy music while you two spend time together. period
☆ he may not be that involved in the decorating process, but he does spend Christmas with you and does most of the cleaning after
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blonde-and-cat-suc · 4 months
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choose violence ask game: 3, 12 and 22?
p.s. love your blog, please keep spreading the truth!
And I love blogging <3!!! I do it for the girls and the gays.
>>>><<<<
Answers under the cut . . . This is gonna be a long one.
3) Screenshot or description of the worse take you've seen on tumblr?
Okay, so, the only problem with this one is that I've literally seen too many to count. But the one that I'd often seen and had the most visceral reaction to were definitely the longer, well articulated analysis posts from stans that did SO MUCH bending and twisting to claim Adora being equally toxic/(and or abusive) to Catra. Which, obviously, I also spent time analyzing. Trying my best to understand what was going on. And you know what? I get it. I don't agree. But I get it. Adora and Catra grew up under the same circumstances, so yeah, they wouldn't be entirely innocent of picking up bad habits from their childhood. Realistically. Fine.
But implying that Adora is worse? Worse than Catra?
...
Anyway, I've suffered from my own self-inflicted torture in the past. I wish I hadn't spent so much time reading stan analysis the way I did, but... Here we are.
And that's just on Tumblr. I don't believe that other social media/forum sites are better or worse about c//a and SPOP, but I have seen worse in The Wilds. (At least on Tumblr there's the filtering options. Everywhere else, good luck).
12) The unpopular character that you actually like, and why more people should like them?
Guys. I LOVE SWIFT WIND. I FUCKING LOVE SWIFT WIND I DON'T CARE THAT HE'S ANNOYING THEY'RE ALL FUCKING ANNOYING!!!
First of all, yes, yes, yes, Swift Wind is horrendous wasted potential (surprise, surprise), and yes, of course, I'm still pissed over it. Those scenes where he's so loyal and kind to Adora, and she, having no other point of reference for a friend, much less a resourceful friend... Like, awwhh. Plus, he makes it very clear that he has his own will and isn't just mindlessly following Adora around like a god-honest horse would. He has his own agenda. He doesn't have to go into battle with Adora, and doesn't gain too much from risking his life to help her and her friends in the short term, but Swift Wind does it anyway. He's interested and invested in Adora, personally, anyway. He wants to be there for her and support her growth as a person.
And Adora deserves all of those amazing, raw, sappy, fairytale friendships!
I DON'T CARE THAT HE'S LITERALLY A HORSE HE IS STILL FUNCTIONALLY A HUMAN BEING. THEY ARE BESTIES. THEY LITERALLY HAVE A MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC LINK GOING ON. THEY SHOULD HAVE CONSIDERED SWIFTIE TO BE APART OF THE BEST FRIENDS SQUAD, I ACTUALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY HE ISN'T.
MORE LOVE FOR SWIFT WIND!!!
22) Favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores?
In my experience, this is the type of fandom that cultivates, um, extreme niches, for lack of a better term. As in, literally what my blog is compared to a "stan's" blog. They're like. Different SPOP fans everywhere, so I don't truly believe that there's a portion of this show that is genuinely ignored... There's someone out there that liked even the tiniest, unimportant fraction of this show. Just got to go find them. (Hell, I know people that love, like, Tall Star specifically, out of all the other characters. Nothing has gone totally unnoticed, which is something I really love about the fanbase as a whole, despite everything).
Anyway, to keep it short, my favorite "underappreciated" parts are hm... Maybe the parts where Adora gets to explore the world around her? And not in a super plot related way. I know that the BFS goofing off so much isn't totally ignored. But I like to see that Adora especially was still learning new things everyday in canon, just like, randomly. Nothing to do with the Horde or the Rebellion. Just. She should be excited for the new world around her, dude. Those are pretty rare moments in the show, actually. Wish there were more.
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cybertronianxwhore · 9 months
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just wanna say your writing is honestly amazing!! it's so rare to see someone write megashock and I loved your fic sm ♡
if you're able could you write another G1 Megatron x Shockwave prompt? maybe where Shockwave notices Megatron berthing mainly seekers, and feeling insecure about being faceless, worried he's not attractive to Megatron. ends with Megs making his feelings veryy clear that he feels the opposite :)
Omg omg omg, I LOVE this idea so much!!! Megashock is one of my favorite ships so I'm so glad to find a fellow enthusiast! Also thank you, I'm really glad you like my writing!
I'm actually going to write this as kinda a sequel to the first one. So Megs and Shockwave are spark bonded, but they have an open relationship since neither want the others to know that they're actually together. (Megs because he's afraid of looking vulnerable, Shockwave because it's just the best course of action to keep things going the same way they have been.) You don't have to read the first one to understand this one though. But I'll still link it anyway.
This got so much softer and sappy than I thought it would be. Genuinely, this is probably the softest thing I've ever written. I love these two idiots so much.
Faceless...
Minors DNI, 18+ only 🔞
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Tags: really soft and gentle smut, hurt/comfort, fluff, talk of losing a pregnancy (but it's robot pregnancy so handle that as you will), open relationship, and as always if I missed something please let me know
Story begins after the break
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Shockwave never expected himself to be so sentimental after sparkbonding. But then again, he never calculated the possibility of even being sparkbonded in the first place. He didn't expect any bot to want anything to do with him romantically, considering he doesn't experience many emotions at all, dealing only in numbers and statistics.
Yet, whenever he sees Megatron flirting with one of the other bots under his command, or even pulling them to his berthroom, Shockwave feels a pang within his spark. He doesn't understand what the feeling is fully. Is it jealousy? Betrayal? Longing?
Shockwave knows that both of them were disappointed that the sparkling they wanted didn't take. He granted Megatron some leeway at the time. While Shockwave secluded himself because of the disappointment and his own self loathing from his failure as a carrier, he knows Megatron processes disappointment differently. But even as Shockwave got over his feelings and got back to normal, Megatron hasn't touched him in orbital cycles, and still opting to take other bots with faces over him.
If it were Soundwave that Megatron was berthing more often than those blasted seekers, Shockwave wouldn't have felt so insecure. In many ways he and Soundwave are similar, and Shockwave himself was guilty of going to Soundwave to frag out some of his frustrations with Megatron always taking bots with faces. However, recently he saw Megatron berth even Starscream... That was his breaking point. He's had it with his mate.
Shockwave groans in frustration as the numbers he was running came back wrong... Again. Failure is one of the only things that can get him to feel true anger. So to avoid taking out his anger on the computing array in front of him, he steps away from it with a heavy vented sigh. He's had enough of these feelings, enough of the setbacks, and enough of Megatron fragging around.
As he walks out of his hab, he reaches up to connect to his private comm link with Megatron. He sends a short message, getting his point across.
'I need to talk with you. Meet me in your berthroom, now.'
'I'm busy, Shockwave. What's so important?' Megatron responds back and it has a fire burning under Shockwave's armor.
'It's about us. So unless you want the other bots you're with to know we're mates, do as I say.'
Shockwave knows Megatron well enough to hear him saying nobody summons Megatron already, but he shuts their channel on his end to ignore any snarky quip from his mate. He has no patience for it at the moment. And he knows he's being manipulative, but if that's what it takes to get his point across to his mate of all bots, he's going to do it.
He makes it to Megatron's berthroom first. His brisk pace and the fact that he started walking there before Megatron making it possible. However, it's not even a moment later that Megatron enters the room, the door locking heavily behind him. The two stand in tense silence, only a few strides away from each other. Megatron's optics narrow at Shockwave who just narrows his own back.
"What is it?" Megatron finally snaps, and Shockwave clenches his servo hard enough that his tactile sensors ache as he tries to keep everything under control. Megatron is the volitile one. Not him. Shockwave takes a deep intake, his optic going dark as he closes it before he opens it again and fixes it on Megatron.
"Do you even find me attractive anymore?" Shockwave blurts out. Whatever he wanted to say, whatever he was trying to script in his processor before speaking was thrown out as whatever that pang in his spark was pushed forward. Making him speak from pure emotion.
Shockwave watches as Megatron's optics widen in shock and he steps back a little, as if the words physically crashed into him. He begins to hate even making them meet like this as he watches emotions he doesn't understand crossing Megatron's faceplates. This is why Shockwave hates the emotions he does feel. He'd be better off without them, he believes.
"Shockwave, wh-what do you mean?" Megatron asks, obviously taken aback by the other bots confronting him with this.
"Just answer the query, Megatron," Shockwave snaps in response.
"Of course, I'm attracted to you. We're sparkmates, I don't underst-"
"You don't understand? Really? You haven't touched me at all in orbital cycles! And all you do is berth those fragging seekers! Is it because I'm faceless? Is it because I can't kiss you like they can?" Shockwave's anger built up as he spoke, but as another thought crosses his processor, his anger fizzles out and he feels something crushing take it's place. His vocal processor cracks as he speaks, "Is it because I couldn't carry our sparkling...?"
Shockwave stares at the floor in front of his pedes, unable to look up at Megatron as this new emotion he doesn't understand weighs him down. When he feels something damp rolling down his helm, he reaches up to feel what it is, and pulls his digits away to see light blue energon staining them. It confuses him greatly. He knows he's not wounded, that's not what it's coming from.
"Sh-Shockwave," Megatron speaks, his voice much quieter, softer now. It sounds more like it did when it was just them in a berth together. Shockwave jumps a bit when one of Megatron's servos touches his shoulder, and the other lifts his helm up so Megatron can see into his optic again. "Oh, primus. Don't cry, please. I'm sorry I made you feel that way."
"I'm not crying," Shockwave protests, trying to pull away from Megatron's hold. But the Decepticon leader keeps a firm, steady hold on him. Shockwave doesn't believe him. He doesn't cry. He can't cry. He can't feel emotions strong enough to warrant crying.
Megatron gently wipes away the energon rolling down Shockwave's helm despite the bots protesting that slowly gets weaker as he gives in. When Shockwave stops protesting against Megatron completely, the warlord pulls Shockwave against his chassis and nuzzles his helm against Shockwave's neck plating with a soft vented sigh.
"It's not... Easy for me to talk about these things," Megatron begins. "But I wasn't trying to hurt you. I was just... I don't know. Trying to process not having our sparkling. You locked yourself in your hab for orbital cycles after we found out it didn't take, so, I just, I thought you didn't want me to touch you."
Shockwave is silent as his helm rests on Megatron's shoulder, making him look up at the blank ceiling of the room. His optic like a spotlight on it. He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know if he could even say anything if he knew.
"Can I prove it to you? How attractive I find you, and how much I... I love you?" Megatron asks and it stuns Shockwave further... Megatron never says he loves him. Shockwave almost wonders if this is a dream, a fabrication from his processor. But he's very much aware. And if the bot holding him hadn't responded to his comm messages, he would have taken him offline as an imposter.
"Yes... Please," Shockwave murmurs, venting a breath when Megatron uses his leverage to lift him up and lay him down on the berth behind them.
Megatron's servos rest on Shockwave's hips before slowly sliding up either side of Shockwave's body. His touches are gentle, and when Megatron begins pressing soft kisses anywhere he can reach on Shockwave, the scientist slowly begins to realize something. Megatron may berth a lot of other bots, especially when he's frustrated or upset, but his love is only for Shockwave. He's the only one that gets to see and feel Megatron's gentle side. He's the only bot that Megatron will worship like this.
Shockwave lets out a shuddering ex-vent, feeling the crushing weight from before beginning to lift, even as need begins to curl just behind his interface panels. Megatron's digits caress the seams of the panel hiding away Shockwave's valve as he bites at a few of the sensitive cables in Shockwave's neck. Shockwave moans softly and allows his panel to slide open, his valve now exposed to Megatron as it glows a beautiful lilac. Shockwave's vocal processor lets out a high pitched whine as Megatron thumbs through the soft folds, gathering a little of the lubricant Shockwave has produced before sliding his thumb up to his anterior node. He circles the node meticulously as he slips two of his other digits inside the bots wet valve and slowly thrusts them. Shockwave's valve is just as beautiful to Megatron as the first time he saw it, he watches as the glow fades and increases with intensity with stimulation. It's almost hypnotizing to Megatron.
"Primus, you're pretty," Megatron murmurs, and even though it was quiet, his words sound deafening to Shockwave in the quiet room. He allows the praise and admission of Megatron's attraction towards him wash over him. But Megatron is still teasing him.
"Quit teasing," Shockwave huffs, his optic shutting as his helm falls back on the berth and Megatron smirks against his neck plates.
"You asked me to prove to you how much I care about you," Megatron quips back, smug as ever. "Will you not allow me to take things slow?"
"Y-you offered, I didn't ask," Shockwave stutters as Megatron crooks his digits up and uses his thumb to tease Shockwave's anterior node. "Sh-shouldn't that mean you listen t-to me?"
Megatron hums thoughtfully still moving his servo almost torturously slow inside Shockwave's valve. Just as Shockwave lifts his helm and fixes his optic on Megatron --ready to complain again because Megatron had pulled his digits out-- Megatron shifts on the berth and settles between Shockwave's stabilizing servos. His closed interface panel grinding against Shockwave's exposed valve.
"A-ah~" Shockwave moans at the different kind of stimulation and his helm falls back against the padded berth with a soft noise and his optic rolls back.
Megatron grinds his panel against Shockwave's valve for a moment, enjoying the noises he pulls from the scientists vocal processor. However, as he feels Shockwave's heat through the panel and his lubricant gathering on it as well, Megatron loses his patience with teasing Shockwave. He pulls back just slightly and allows his panel to click open. Astroseconds later, his spike is pressurized and laying heavily on Shockwave's anterior node.
"Ready?" Megatron asks and Shockwave's optic opens again as he lifts his helm to look at Megatron's face. All Shockwave finds written in his Lords expression is admiration. Pure, and untainted by anything else.
"Yes, please," Shockwave nearly whispers. And in that moment, Shockwave's spark bears itself to Megatron without him even thinking about that.
The brilliant orange is warm and lights the room in a gentle glow. Megatron is stunned at the sudden appearance of his mates spark, and he just stares for a moment. He doesn't bear his own just yet, instead he reaches for it and gently caresses the comfortably warm orb. His rough digits feeling over the vibrating surface of it. Shockwave whimpers and his entire body shudders hard enough that his armor knocks together. The feeling of Megatron touching his spark like that is overwhelming. It's comfort, it's euphoria, it's trust. It's also fear, it's insecurity, it's uncertainty. Megatron could just close his servo around his spark and snuff out his life forever, that's where the fear comes from, even as he trusts his mate. Everything else is brought up from Shockwave's very being, and caused by the gentle touches of his mate. Shockwave nearly feels his processor short circuit when Megatron leans down and kisses Shockwave's spark briefly. His vocal processor actually does short out and any noise he could have made dies with it.
Megatron, at seeing how overwhelmed he accidentally made Shockwave, pulls his servo away from Shockwave's spark. He reaches up and holds Shockwave's helm, running his scuffed thumb over the seams of it. He's gentle and patient as Shockwave's recovers from what he was feeling. When Shockwave's optic finally comes back into focus and he looks at Megatron properly again, Megatron smiles at him.
"Sorry, my spark," Megatron says, voice low and gentle, "I didn't mean to overwhelm you like that."
Shockwave can't speak immediately, his vocal processor still trying to recover, so he nods and reaches up with a shaky servo to hold onto Megatron's. He didn't even realize he was trembling under Megatron until he tried to move.
"'S okay," Shockwave croaks with a heavy ex-vent of pent up air. He didn't even know he wasn't venting at all during it. "F-frag me, please."
"As you command," Megatron says, teasing the scientist even as his voice still says quiet and soft.
Shockwave wraps his stabilizing servos around Megatron's hips as he draws them back and uses one of his servos to line himself up with the scientists valve. As Megatron begins to push his spike into Shockwave's valve, he allows his spark out, the identical shade of orange filling the room with more warm light. Their sparks merge together as soon as Megatron is fully inside Shockwave, and the two moan at the feeling. Fully merged like this, they feel their own pleasure as well as the others. They can feel each other's emotions and hear each other's thoughts so clearly like this. It takes them both a moment to get used to feeling all of it. Though Megatron doesn't feel many emotions from Shockwave's end it doesn't bother him. Seeing as he already knew he wouldn't.
When Megatron finally begins to pull out and thrust back into Shockwave, the scientist whimpers and moans as Megatron growls above him. Neither are going to last long like this.
Slowly, Megatron begins to build up a decent pace with his thrusts. It's not rough, nor is it as fast as it was like when they interfaced last, but it feels just as good as Shockwave is reduced to a pleasure overloaded processor, and a moaning mess. His digits dig into the berth, the padding doing a little to buffer the pressure he's putting on his tactile sensors, but not enough to dull the ache that begins to grow because of it.
Megatron isn't fairing much better as he wraps his rough digits around Shockwave's waist and pushes him down into the padding as he ruts down into his mate. He's growling and groaning with each movement of his spike inside Shockwave's valve, and he already feels the burning knot of his impending overload tightening inside his abdomen. He would be worried he would overload first, if it wasn't for the fact that he could feel that Shockwave was so much closer than him. Megatron grunts and lifts one of Shockwave's stabilizing servos up onto his shoulder and picks up the pace of his thrusts just a little more as euphoria overwhelms both of them.
"Hold on, a little longer, Shockwave," Megatron groans, curling over Shockwave almost posessively as he closes his optics and focuses on their connection. His denta grit together as he focuses all his attention on it.
"T-trying," Shockwave whimpers out, but both he and Megatron feel him getting closer and closer to the edge. His valve clenches around Megatron's spike in an effort to wait for his mate, but it just intensifies both of their sensations.
However, feeling how close Shockwave is and how tight he's clenching around Megatron has the warlord meeting Shockwave at the edge. With one particularly deep thrust, they both cry out together as they both overload. Megatron is growling as he grinds his hips against Shockwave's, occasionally his hips jerking forward involuntarily while Shockwave whimpers and his valve clenches and flutters around the spike inside him. Shockwave's valve milks Megatron for all he's worth, and Megatron collapses on top of Shockwave.
Both are venting hard and their fans are on their highest setting, desperately trying to cool their heated chassis so they don't overheat. Exhaustion pulls at Shockwave even though he doesn't recharge, he's not a model that needs it. He blames it on feeling Megatron's emotions so strongly when he doesn't experience many by himself. After a moment, Shockwave pushes on Megatron's shoulder to make him sit up. When Megatron complies, it seperates their sparks and Shockwave gasps as they do as he feels back to normal again. His spark hides away in his chassis again, Megatron's slowly following suit.
Megatron's spike pulls out of Shockwave as it depressurizes and retracts back into Megatron's interface panel, and he collapses next to his mate when it's hidden away again. He pulls Shockwave against his frame and holds him tight, a servo gently rubbing over Shockwave's abdomen as the exhausted bot melts into his mates hold.
"Have I proven myself to you?" Megatron asks and Shockwave vents a sigh softly. He would be smiling if he could.
"Yes," Shockwave answers simply, his vocal processor slurring softly as he's on the verge of recharge. "I love you too, Lord Megatron," He mumbles, just before he fully slips into recharge.
Megatron smiles to himself as he leans down and nuzzles against the top of Shockwave's helm. He closes his optics, preparing for recharge as his processor repeats Shockwave's words to him in a comforting mantra.
Shockwave loves him.
As he does Shockwave.
He idly hopes this sparkling takes as he drifts into recharge. He wants to raise their sparkling with Shockwave. The war be dammned.
*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:*✧・゚: *✧・゚:
Part 3
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bonnielunkas · 5 months
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damn it's already been a year, huh?? happy anniversary to hps :]
i'm gonna ramble under the read more so just ignore that if you don't wanna see me get sappy
a whole fucking YEAR holy shit. it really doesn't feel like it's been that long to me.
it's been a really weird year. i graduated highschool, i became an adult, i've made and lost friends, it's all been so strange.
hps is what got me into the fazbear frights community. i've met a lot of great people through it. it's what got me to finally read a lot of the stories. it got me to finally start writing for fun again. and now we're here, a whole year later.
to all my followers who followed because of hps, or maybe even earlier, or even fnaf in general, thank you. and to anyone who followed for dsaf, or a hat in time, or tmc, or kirby, or even the less posted stuff like splatoon, thank you. it means a lot to me that people enjoy the content i produce, and maybe get inspired by it.
here's to another year of a bunch of teens being knockoff ghostbusters.
~ bonnie <3
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phdmama · 5 months
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20 questions for fic writers!
HUGE thank you to @sugareey-makes-stuff @kingsofeverything @xanthippe74 for tagging me in this one!! Sorry it's taken me so long to get to it!!
How many works do you have on AO3?
208! That's not including the large number of Tumblr drabbles I need to post for archival purposes!
2. What's your total AO3 Word Count?
1,066,342 <- which OMG
3. What fandoms do you write for?
I started in 1D (Larry mostly though I've done a couple of threesomes) and then I shifted to HP - I think I've only written main Drarry? I've dabbled a tiny bit in Stucky and I've written one 911 Buddie fic (but I'm working on another one!)
4. What are your top 5 fics by Kudos?
My top one is on that's co-written and has that number of kudos due to the other author, so for the ones that are just mine:
I Like the Way You Move for Me (Drarry)
Feels Like Coming Home (Larry)
Beautiful Madness (Drarry)
Tell Me How You Like It (Drarry - outsider POV)
Is This Love? (Drarry)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I really try but I struggle to keep up with them - not because I get so many comments haha, but I do that "get behind spiral out feel terrible" thing way too often!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I don't tend to write angst-y endings, because I really need a happy ending but I've got a couple of really short painful things! Unsurprisingly, these are all microfic/vignette sorts of things!
The Ghost of You (Drarry, microfic, post-MCD)
Here Without You (Drarry, vignette, post-breakup)
What's Left Behind (Drarry, vignette, MCD) wow I just reread this one and FUCK ME I AM A MONSTER
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Unhhhh most of them honestly! I will say, I do SOMEtimes VERY RARELY put some pain on the journey to HEA so if I had to guess, I'd say that all of me (loves all of you) (Drarry) is probably my most unabashedly sappy no-angst fluff.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not to my face anyway! I'm sure there are people who don't like my writing but I think they ignore me more than anything! One of the perks of being a very small writer, I think!
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Sure do! For kind, I write slash, I guess you'd call it (gay), almost all of it M/M. I have one girl!fic. I don't really write too much kink, I'd say most of what I do is pretty vanilla. Healthy communication is my kink, I guess!
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Ummm off the top of my head, no?
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge. I read one fic that was not a plagiarism of my actual work but was literally the exact same plot, the exact same story beats, the exact same setting etc. I am well-aware there's nothing new under the sun but I read it and was like, unhhh. It's one of my greatest fears honestly - accidentally taking someone's fic!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not that I know. I've been approached, but I'm not comfortable with it.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yup! Twice! Both in the Larry fandom. One was with one other writer (who's long gone from fandom as far as I know) and one (Wine Not) I wrote with a big group of people who've become some of my absolute closest friends!
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?
I don't have one specific. The ones I write for, I obviously feel very very strongly about, but the bummer for me is that when I'm writing in a particular pair, I don't read anything in that pairing! I also don't read for the ship, but for the story and the writing, so I read in a LOT of different pairings!
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Fuck me, so many.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Oof, I'm not sure! I'm not a trained writer by any means. I think I do scene setting pretty well?
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Pacing, for sure. It's really hard and I can get bogged down in the "and then THIS happened and then THIS happened and then THIS happened" - I'm so linear, so I have to push myself there.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Generally no. I've sprinkled in a few words here and there, but I wouldn't do much of it, and if I had to, I would 1000% find someone to help me with it and not rely on Google translate.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Larry. Still writing there and kinda following along a bit but I'm not active in that fandom anymore other than the writing.
20. Favourite fic you’ve written?
I'm not sure I have one fav fic - I'd say I'm really proud of my long (for me) fics! Those are hard for me, and there's a couple that are really really personal. But I have to say, Maybe You're the Difference (Drarry) is one I really like and am really proud of. I worked so so hard on it.
I feel like I'm late on this one, so I'll call this a general tag (FOR REAL I HONESTLY MEAN IT) - if you want to do this, DO IT and tag me!! xox
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spottedenchants · 1 year
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Hello! So I really want sink my teeth into Touching Sentiments but I'm unclear whether it's supposed to be read chronologically or following the sequence that they're posted in? Do you have any particular recommendation? Either way I'm excited to witness the sappy wizards being in love and kiss a lot
Oh, hello hello!! :D
I got a little rambly, so here's a summary, and I'll get into more nitty-gritty thoughts under the cut :3
Tl;dr: there is no 'supposed to' about it at all!
If your curiosity is caught by some fics and not others, each fic is technically independent of the others and thus all of them can be read in whatever order and quantity you see fit!
On the other hand, if you're specifically interested in TS!Essek's characterization/relationship developments and want to catch up with everything, I suggest the following:
Note the date you start reading the series
Read in chronological order, ignoring fics that are posted behind your own pace through the series (i.e. no need to backread)
Then read in posting order, beginning from the date you started reading the series (and if you run into a fic you have already read, you can just skip it!)
That should get you through Touching Sentiments without missing anything :3
-
And now for rambles, because I cannot be contained.
The two orders of the series (chronological and posting) are mainly for my own organizational purposes, and they both have their merits!
The chronological order, I see more as a linear explanation of characterization shifts and development, as well as a slightly clearer way to note how the emotional arcs and background events (i.e. out of Essek's primary focus) are moving, a more-or-less standard story structure of cause and effect in which A leads to B leads to C, etc (though with letters missing in the middle).
As for the posting order, since I'm writing disperate points of time concurrently, reading in the posting order can sometimes really showcase thematic and narrative parallels (ex. Essek and Caleb having a quiet, intimate night together vs. Not). It also starkly demonstrates where Essek's (and the Nein's) characterization could head (ex. early TS!Essek has a very hard time verbalizing his wants with his NPC syndrome, whereas he gets a better handle on it by 1.5 years down the road, so that contrast can be like 'whoa what how did that happen').
I do also try to keep everyone believably in-character based on whatever point in the timeline any particular fic is set, so jumping around might be disorienting in terms of characterization, but that's honestly part of the fun for me :3
So the thing is- it can be read in whatever order you'd like based on whatever strikes your fancy! You don't even have to read all of them, and I try to tag with enough detail so that people can find only what they want out of it.
For example, if you're specifically curious about the slow burn aspect of Essek and Caleb's relationship, you can read just the shadowgast fics tagged 'Slow Burn', or 'Pre-Relationship' + 'Developing Relationship', in chronological order. If you want to read how Essek interacts with Luc and Kingsley, and how the two compare, you can just jump around and read those fics. I try to keep each fic self-contained, and any references to in-series events are made under the assumption that they will be taken in stride (ex. as of right now there are references to the wizards taking a bath together around 1.5 years post-canon, but that fic has not been posted yet).
I hope that all answers your questions, but if not, please feel free to send another ask my way :D Have a nice day!! ^w^
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juneviews · 2 years
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It's a long ask not obliged to answer
Ever since reading that post abt Sean being most broken character of all i can't think straight so here's my word vomit
That scene in which he tries his best to pursue white and asking him to comeback is soo soul crushing for me like this boi lives because white lives. Him begging black to not leave him but not trying to comprehend who was white and black and how did this happen in the first place he's just blinded in the hope of having someone to live for.
Never have i felt such sadness for a fic character in bl like i didn't tear up but felt so sad to even comprehend the rest of the eps, i took a week break to continue and that post brought back memories
The relief he felt when he found out who's white was, the flag night, the tent, the final rescue were the happy Sean moments I couldn't get out of my head. There's smthg abt off and dir.nuchy that made me care abt Sean like i do for ppl around me.
And his sole purpose was to be as happy as he could be with him tho at first I felt it was pathetic looking back his traumatic life it's more than justifiable for him to want to spend every sec he has left with white. That boi meant every single word he said on that terrace to white
Sean is still healing from my pov he's still not totally sure abt wt he lives for, he just does stuff because he's has to survive like when he reads a book and explains how difficult it is for ppl like him contrasting to the scene in the ⛺ he explains they might not have much time together. Which shows how much he's unsure abt the future in both cases but decided to ignore this time coz he has white.
I believe there will be a neutral version of Sean in the future that doesn't see himself in that perspective
Tho it's totally fine if living to be with white is the only goal he has becoz that boi has starved in every way. Sometimes i keep thinking what if Sean's parents were still alive and had met White under different circumstances and how his perspective of life would be? What are ur different dynamics of seanwhite in the same not me universe ?
Sorry if it's too sappy but it's my boi Sean.
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y'all are really coming for my throat with those sean word vomits HUH 😭😭😭 you said it all, if sean didn't have SO MUCH trauma he'd be an entirely different person, but bc he's been abandoned by everyone he's ever loved, he was ready to do ANYTHING so white would stay with him... but also, sean is way more than his trauma & mental health issues as well, he's so loving, passionate, well-read, well-spoken, strong, unapologetic & forgiving. and I swear to god, this man is my baby & I adore him more than I can put into words <3
xxx
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genuflectx · 1 year
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Ender’s Saga, sans the Forth
I found myself writing something soft and sappy about Ender’s Game after reading it, never finished, and then I read the next two novels, Speaker for the Dead and Xenocide, and the illusion was well broken. There’s a forth, Children of the Mind, but despite it being the second half cleaved from Xenocide, after Xenocide I find myself hard pressed to read #4. So we are going to pretend it doesn’t exist except for the brief synopsis on Wikipedia.
Ender’s Game is one of those classic novels you may have read in school. It was released in 1985 by Orson Scott Card, who would have been about 34 at the time, but he had been publishing since the 70s. Ender’s story would continue on for decades. Even today Card still writes and publishes for Ender, but Ender’s Game was the first and, out of the three I have read, the best.
Ender’s Game is simplistic, following just Ender and then his two Earthbound siblings as a secondary plotline. Three main characters with spatterings of child soldiers flittering in and out of Ender’s life. The climax is unexpected and shocking (in a good way), though the ending after that is divisive. Going from a 10 year old boy to a 20 year old man running a colony on an alien planet in the course of a few sentences will certainly do that. But before that, Ender’s game is easy to swallow, it’s themes uncomplicated and plot one-track-minded. It’s not so subtle in it’s criticism of the military, child soldiers/lost childhoods, and war.
Then, you pick up the second book, Speaker for the Dead. From #1 to #2 Card makes a great leap that is incredibly jarring, but it pushes us forward into an expanded universe. Once comfortable with that, the book is solid. More complex than the 1st (as sequels usually are) and a large swath of new characters on a new planet. But Valentine falls by the wayside, only a distant memory for Ender throughout SFTD. There is mystery, there is conflict, there is tragedy and new belonging. It ends just as abruptly as the 1st ended, with a single sentence marrying Ender to Novinha, who he had never expressed previous romantic affection for except for when he first saw her teenage face. But otherwise it ends well; an interspecies treaty is formed and the Hive Queen emerges again. This one tries to tell us peace is hard work but worth it, unfortunately that is layered under Card’s love of colonialism and his thoughts on religion.
You want to know what happens next with the Hive Queen and so pick up the third book, Xenocide. With a name like that you might dread the future for the buggers and pequeninos. But #3 is wildly different than #2, a seemingly endless train of thought. I describe this book as Card talking to himself. There is still remnants of his writing there, mainly through the new planet of Path, but the majority of this book is a hodgepodge of philosophical essays on God that he put quotation marks around and credited to his fictional characters. Characters we grew to know from SFTD have been watered down into clones of Ender or Valentine. Except if they are a woman, because then they get a dash of hysterics. It ends with most of the plot unresolved, because the book was so long that the publisher forced Card to cut it in half. Thus, where Xenocide leaves us unfulfilled, we are expected to continue with Children of the Mind to find out the conclusion to the main story of Ender. But I had such a hard time with large pieces of Xenocide that I cannot image forcing myself to do so again with the forth book. In Xenocide, he hits you over the head with the same arguments about peace being worth it but this time it feels more like he’s beating you with a bat. This book really didn’t tell you anything new, only amplified previous messages by 10, coupled with the occasional messy 90s sci-fi that was so endearing in Star Trek.
Card, as a sci-fi author born in the 50s, has his issues. And where you might be able to ignore those issues through Ender’s Game due to its simplicity, his opinions only become louder and more obstructive the deeper into the series you get. It’s easy to miss opinionated content in Ender’s Game when it is so subdued and you cannot see a pattern in it. But continued reading reveals the patterns, and indeed makes those patterns scream at you until you can’t help but cringe.
There are three women in Ender’s Game, and all three are not great. One, a religious mother who forgets her son exists once he’s gone. Two, a sister deemed “too empathetic” and “mild” to be of use, whose great deeds are underscored by her brothers’. Three, an emotional child-solider who is the first to have a mental break during combat. “Two” is Valentine, of course, Ender’s older sister who he reveres like a goddess and has an uncomfortably loving and close relationship with that boarders on something not familial. 
But SFTD and Xenocide push the limits of caricature with Card’s women characters. Calm, rational women are the outlier for Card. Where it is unusual in Card’s universe for a man to be violent and unintelligent it is also unusual in Card’s universe for a woman to be unemotional and uninvolved. Ela is the main outlier, here. You can argue Valentine is as well, but by Xenocide she has turned into Ender and I hardly view her as her own character anymore. Long gone is empathetic Valentine, for when she meets disabled Miro the first things out of her mouth are vile insults to his character and personality, based solely on his being disabled. She says everything just short of “don’t be so sensitive just because you’re a c-slur.” By Xenocide, Valentine is not the calm-and-rational outlier woman Card so rarely writes, she has lost all her empathy which had made her Valentine, but has kept which traits that make her reflect Ender’s own. Not even Valentine can be her own woman. If a woman is to be rational in Card’s universe then she is to be a copy of Ender, who himself is frequently hailed as Card’s self insert. Perhaps Ender and Valentine’s relationship, so deeply close that even their own spouses are jealous, is more a reflection of Card wanting to fuck himself more than the other, grosser explanation, which is an obsession with pseudo-incest.
But gender dynamics are very surface level for Card. Beyond that, by SFTD, the main theme is that “colonization and religious indoctrination is a good thing.” The enemy is non-interference, the enemy is letting culture develop on its own timeline. In Card’s universe, it is wrong to let the pequeninos be as they are. In Card’s universe, it is “good” and “noble” to convert non-industrial colonies of pequeninos to Christianity, specifically to Catholicism. In Xenocide, a priest which converts the pequeninos (one of Ender’s stepsons) is a martyr when he dies and he is celebrated for introducing aliens to an Earth religion that is unnatural to them. And this is despite half of the pequeninos planning to take Catholicism and use it to commit genocide against humans, who would die of the virus that they carry, because they believed the virus to be God’s way of purging the unworthy. But Card’s rational is that such pequeninos were “just reading the Bible wrong,” and that “they would regret it,” not that giving tribal aliens the very Earthen, very human, Bible was maybe, just maybe, a bad idea. This could have been a warning to the dangers of interference but, knowing Card and his opinions, that isn’t so. He genuinely sees this all as a “good” and “noble” thing.
Card’s adoration of colonialism is made even more clear in his inability to write space colonies as anything but segregated. By SOTD we are 3,000+ years into the future, 3,000+ years since spaceflight, but humans apparently cannot conceive of interethnic colonies. A colony is either all Nordic, or all Portuguese, or all Chinese, carrying with it the same architectural, religious, and cultural identities that they held 3,000 years ago. If a colony must be Chinese then by God, Card believes that the colony must still uphold kowtowing and the social standards of ancient China and show no sign of cultural drift, save for the addition of computers in each room. If a colony must be Portegese then by God, Card believes the colony must all be blatantly Catholic and built of brick, as if incapable of cultural exchange. Card writes Xenocide in long self-important philosophical dialogues that make you wonder if he thinks the sun shines out of his own ass, but he simply cannot image a human being whom is not a caricature of their society as it was thousands of years ago. He should have put his money where his mouth was and made Ender and his family the picture of White American Mormanism stereotypes, too. But of course he’d never, because he’s Ender, and Card would not want to be stereotyped. I am certain that yes, there are people like his characters which exist in the world. But the inability to show any human as complex cultural peoples who can change, instead having each one represent the accumulation of generalized Wikipedia articles, shows a lack of extended understanding and what I might even call romanticization.
Much of SFTD and Xenocide’s story and themes get lost in Card’s loud, screaming opinion on religion and morality. There was a paragraph in Xenocide about how Ender believed that nobody important ever had pre-marital sex, and how immature one must be to have pre-marital sex. And this, of course, was in response to thoughts about Miro and Ouanda, Miro’s half-sister. Not about how glad Ender was that the siblings didn’t have sex before they knew they were siblings, but about how glad he was that they never had sex because it would have been pre-marital. And on incest- I have barely even touched on it yet. Because incest is a major theme across all three of these books, and if the synopsis for Children of the Mind is right, such theme continues into book four. It would take a while to comb through every incestuous thing in these books, instead I’ve made a chart for you, which took considerably less time to draw than writing about it would.
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... But I’ll write it out, anyways, because I hate myself.
- Ender and Valentine have a loving relationship that makes both of their spouses jealous. They are compared to a celibate couple. Card has Ender comment on the perceived strange relationship between them by having Ender imply anyone who thinks they’re incestuous has a “sick mind,” so clearly Card knows about this long-lived interpretation and isn’t happy about it.
- Pipo (father figure to Nova), real father of Libo. Libo, (brother figure to Nova), secret lover to Nova. Nova has 6 children with her brother figure. They aren’t technically siblings, neither by law nor blood, but she grew up with him as if adopted.
- Nova has Miro with Libo, then Libo has Ouanda with his actual wife. Miro and Ouando make out and kiss in great detail. They are half siblings. They stop once it’s known they’re siblings but Miro more than once wallows over how sad he is that they had to stop. He wished they never found out.
- Ender first sees Jane as his lover in book 2. Then later in book 3 sees her as a child. Val, a genetic clone of Valentine in a teenage girl’s body, is taken over by Jane. Thus, Jane, once-lover to Ender, now mind-and-body-sibling to Ender, marries Miro, Ender’s stepson. So, Miro is married to his step sibling and his step father’s ex-lover who is in the body of his step-aunt Valentine.
... And this doesn’t even cover the child-adult and grooming relationships, but I put them on the chart. Multiple relationships start with a teenage girl and an adult man, often with the adult man “waiting” for the child to come of age. Jane is also likened to a child frequently, including in her chosen virtual appearance.
These three books have some good things in them. And once, in 1985, when only Ender’s Game had the great name Ender, it was something special. But as Speaker for the Dead and Xenocide (and Children of the Mind, which I will still not read) released throughout the next decade... the child solider Ender and his remorseful tragedy faded away like fog, replaced by the unavoidable opinions expressed by Card. We all know he holds homophobic views. But his books hold, somehow, even worse views. As much as I loved the conflict between the pequeninos and the humans in Speaker of the Dead, as much as I loved the dysfunctional Ribeira family, it was overshadowed by Card constantly trying to justify colonization and forced religion. As much as I loved the story of Path, the almost sexual mind-merging to the Hive Queen in her presence, it was overshadowed by stuffy chapter-length-rants about God and an insane amount of hatred for the disabled.
Across the 3 books I read there must be well over 300k words, so even though this analysis (review? book report?) is long, if I meant to do a real analysis I don’t think it would fit on Tumblr. And honestly... I don’t want to make an analysis that long, anyway. I had enough thinking to do after Xenocide and a million reviews have been made for Card since the 70s. Everything has been said by everyone else, anyway, and the things I didn’t touch on (or only touched briefly) are written everywhere else, if you want to read them.
For now... I am tired. Ender’s Game will remain one of my favorite old sci-fi novels. But as for the rest of Ender’s story goes... it could have been great, had Card not been the author, or maybe if he’d just stopped kissing his own damned reflection as if he thought himself better than his reader.
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aeon-uriel · 2 years
Text
cat's problems
toge vs a furball: the fic. read on ao3
When the tunes of a particularly sappy love song rang loudly in the middle of their school's field, everyone participating in today's afternoon practice turned their heads in eerie synchronization to where Toge lay boneless on the grassy ground. It was a popular girlband song no one admitted out loud to have listened on repeat (fearing Todo's predatory fanboying coming for their neck more than anything else, probably). Toge tried to ignore the stares to no avail.
There was also the tidbit about there being only one person Toge gave a customized ringtone in his contact list with ever-changing cheesy romantic songs. All of them seemed to be aware of that. (He wanted to bet on the biggest gossip spreading that fact before he realized he was the biggest gossip, so maybe he was just that predictable and entirely too besotted.)
His left pocket continued buzzing even under the harsh judgemental stare Maki gave it. Moving fast from the regret of not silencing the thing in the first place, Toge took his phone out as slowly as he could just to watch Maki's forehead twitch, but still in time to answer the call.
The  video  call, apparently, to be precise.
Ignoring Yuji's befuddled: "Why is he bringing his phone to practice and how did that thing not in pieces yet?" (Panda replied with something suspiciously sounding like "Dark magic"), Toge swiped the answer option. Immediately, his screen was filled with the handsome face of his boyfriend. He was framed by dark shadows, probably because of the nighttime, but Toge had no problem seeing the sheepish smile that he had always loved a lot.
"Konbu," Toge beamed in greeting, life seeping back into his body just from the 3 seconds of exposure to Yuta's presence. (Beside him, Megumi also tried to give his greeting before giving up halfway and going back to his best imitation of a dead log.) 
Yuta's smile turned more blinding, lighting up the whole scene like a miniature sun (Toge almost wanted to check if his screen's brightness got turned up on its own). Although, when he started speaking, his voice had a nervous edge to it. " Am I interrupting your practice ?" 
Just this morning, Satoru had immediately warped out of existence as soon as he had finished relaying to them about today's plan (which was tantamount to nothing, so Maki roped them all to individual practice) and not without kidnapping Nobara for a solo mission also. Megumi and Toge had both been trying to merge into one with the unforgiving ground sometime before Yuta's call (Panda was tempted to water them like plants). Maki and Yuji could keep going until next week, freaks of nature that they were, so they didn't count. 
"Okaka," Toge replied solemnly after the slightest contemplation and deciding he wasn't wrong.
Yuta's eyebrow rose in doubt. Toge gave him a wink alongside his best guiltless grin.
Not even a second later, his boyfriend huffed, a clear admission of defeat. The special grade sorcerer who was always so weak to Toge, it endeared him to no end. (The echoes of several people saying, "Whipped" could be heard.) 
"Alright, if you say so."  Yuta chuckled.  "I'm sorry for calling you at this hour."  
Toge shook his head once more. 
Ever since oceans separate them apart, managing time zones was one of the most important things to do so they wouldn't get swallowed down by the intense yearning for each other. Nearly one year now, they had established a routine where Yuta usually called him early in the morning or before bed. 
But,  still . Toge would never not be happy to receive any contact from Yuta. If anything, it had always been the highlights of his days. (He even answered a call in the middle of a mission once until Yuta worried so hard that Toge promised he wouldn't do it again.) (He did it once again after, part being a gremlin that he was and part trying to send a point across. When Yuta gave him the puppiest eyes he could muster, Toge just harrumphed and told him to get back soon so he wouldn't miss him so badly.)
(Yuta spent the rest of that call sweet-talking Toge with his bigger-than-life words about how much he loved him. Toge made Satoru, who supervised that mission, swore under the threat of his shampoo being swapped to neon green hair dye to never tell anyone how he got teary-eyed at Yuta's words that could pass as wedding vows.)
After another shake of his head to dispel his straying thoughts, Toge then tilted his head to the side. "Takana?"  I don't mind, but why so sudden?
Yuta perked up. "I wanted to show you something!"
Then there was a blur of movements from the other side of the call. Toge could see the high ceilings of whatever building Yuta was in before the camera switched to the back. A clutter of boxes filled the screen, hinting to Toge that Yuta could be in some kind of storage site or an abandoned factory.
"We were exorcising a grade 2 curse nearby. I'll tell you more about it later ," Yuta's voice could be heard saying. " And then, look ."
There was a sound of crouching before the camera focused on a shadowy object which upon closer look revealed to be… a cat. A strangely familiar-looking cat.
"Doesn't it look like you ?" Yuta asked excitedly. " I gave it food once when I was surveying the area. It keeps following me after that."
Despite the mostly dark background, the cat's fur shone blonde like Toge's own mop of hair. And, blaming his sight on the dim lighting of the place, Toge stared in wonder when its eyes seemed to be tinted purple-ish and green-ish depending on the movements of its head.
"It's so friendly too ," he added as the cat moved closer to him and then rubbed its head lovingly on Yuta's legs. " Reminds me of someone ."
(Yuta had always found it wonderful how Toge's name was ' Inu ' and yet he was such a cat person.)
Propping his phone by Megumi's prone head, Toge started to sign, amazed despite himself because yes, that cat resembled him to an amazing degree. "Are you replacing me with a cat?"
Yuta's laugh escaped him in a snort that made Toge grin impishly. "Why? Are you jealous?"
Toge was about to sign back something equally teasing when there was a flurry of movements. The cat jumped into Yuta's lap, almost knocking the phone out of his hand in the process, then began to nuzzle his neck too while meowing loudly. (It was even loud enough to raise Megumi from his coma.)
Toge froze, fingers twitching, as Yuta moved to sit on the ground and began baby-talking to the cat (something about giving it more food later despite the cat already looking like a four-legged mochi). 
Comfortable in its place on Yuta's warm lap (Toge would know), the cat looked directly into the camera. Its feline eyes glinting with way too much intelligence for Toge's liking. If it could form words, Toge imagined the things that it would meow smugly at him.
'This lap is mine now, sucks to be you.' 
Toge had never been more jealous of anything all his life.
(That was a lie. Just last week, Toge was totally  not  sulking when Satoru got back from his trip overseas and kept regaling stories about how Yuta was apparently offered dinner left and right. He was not jealous that his sweet, wonderful boyfriend got that kind of attention. He believed in Yuta, after all. He was 'jealous' because it wasn't him beside Yuta, teasing him mercilessly about being a hotshot now while he turned down those offers.)
(He missed teasing Yuta directly. He missed being near Yuta.)
(He missed Yuta a lot.)
(He missed his lap, too.)
The cat maintained eye contact, daring him to look away, as it nuzzled back against Yuta's hand scratching behind its ears. The sound of its purring was loud and clear through the loudspeaker. It looked like it was living the best life at that moment.
Behind him, Yuji didn't even bother lowering his voice to a whisper. "Why is Inumaki-senpai hissing like a cat at his phone screen?"
The camera switched back to the front. Yuta's amused face greeted him in exchange, his eyebrow raised and mouth twitching at the corner. It was a vastly preferable change to keeping up a glaring contest with that cursed feline, even though the sight of Yuta's barely held laughter was less welcomed when directed at his misery. 
"Are  you  hissing at your phone screen, Toge?" his boyfriend asked.
"Okaka!" Toge huffed in response and at the same time, Maki shouted, "Yes, he is!"
Toge flipped her off before turning back to Yuta, totally not hissing. 
"I was actually about to name it 'Toge the Sequel',"  Yuta said, mirth coloring his voice,  "but don't worry, it already has an owner."
Yuta tilted the cat's chin up, revealing a thin line circling the cat's neck. Its long fur was doing a too well job at hiding the collar. It even had a small pendant with the word 'Kumo' carved on it.
"I didn't notice the collar sooner. Now that I'm done with this curse though, I'll try to look for its owner," Yuta said, then added cheekily, "Maybe tomorrow since it's already late here. Until then, I'm afraid you will have to share me with it, Toge."
Toge pretended to sulk at that, but the sight of Yuta giving the cat small kisses melted his heart to his stomach where it fed the butterflies that live there ever since he fell in love with this amazing boy.
(In front of him, still acting as his phone's stand holder, Megumi made a pained sound. "He's making lovesick eyes again, help me.")
(Toge flicked his ear.)
Yuta laughed merrily at him again and was about to say something when the echo of another person calling his name could be heard. He turned his head to look behind him, presumably to see Miguel coming to get him before he looked back down at his phone. He smiled.
"I have to go now. I just wanted to introduce you to the little guy," Yuta said with too much cheer, "I'll call you again in the morning, hopefully at a better time, alright?" Then, using one of the cat's paws, he waved at the camera. "Say 'bye-bye, Toge'. Love you!"
The call ended, but not before Toge successfully screenshotted Yuta's large smile and the cat glaring at the camera. 
Yuta actually sent him several pics of the cat later. Toge saved all the ones with Yuta also in it. And much, much later, Yuta told him the story of how he found the owner, an old lady who offered Yuta a lavish dinner in return for his heroic deed. Which was very kind of her.
(Then, of course, the lady also offered to introduce him to his granddaughter. Which was hilarious to Toge, as usual.)
The next time Satoru announced he wanted to check in on his favorite overseas student, Toge shoved a scarf with instructions to make sure Yuta wore it. If cat paw prints were decorating the scarf, then maybe Toge just wanted revenge.
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imrowanartist · 2 years
Note
Oh no!!! I'm sorry that you're sick! I hope you get feeling better soon. And I guess as a way to help with the boredom I've got kind of a long list for Yara if you're willing
#1, #5, #8, #9, #17, #21, #22, #23
I love Yara so much and I'd love to read more about him! (please don't feel obligated to answer all of these, I know it's a lot XD)
--eyayah-oya
@eyayah-oya
OC Ask Prompts
I am just being a baby about having a cold XD
But I will definitely use that as an excuse to answer al of these about my precious Yara!
I'm gonna put the answer to 1. under the cut, since it involves spoilers for Deference for Darkness. So it's up to you if you want to read it or not ^^
5. How affectionate are they? What are their top love languages?
At first Yara isn't very affectionate, mostly because he's very shy and socially awkward. He prefers tech over people, touch makes him uncomfortable and he generally prefers to be ignored. The longer he stays with Halo, the more he opens up, though! He still won't be affectionate with anyone he doesn't know well, but with Nova, Purrgil and a few others from Halo he feels safe. He's still not usually the one to initiate physical contact, but he does allow it. He doesn't fully come out of his shell until after Order 66, when he's living with Mij, Nuts and the rest of their clan. His top love languages are, words of affirmation and quality time :)
8. What will always make them smile? What will always make them cry?
Anything tech will always make Yara smile! Ask him to fix something, to improve something and he'll be happy. Nuts is also very good at making him smile with his snarky comments and silly antics. There's a person important to him whom Yara loses at some point. Thinking about that will always make him cry.
9. What was their first kiss like?
Ooohh boy... Yara's first kiss is actually with Nuts XD They're both recovering in the care of Mij Gilamar, very much physically and emotionally damaged from everything that happened during Order 66. There's a moment where they're comforting each other and on a whim Yara just...kisses Nuts. He's very awkward and embarrassed about it, but Nuts kisses him back. Then they basically sit back and go...nah that ain't it. They prefer to be friends lol.
17. Do they consider themselves to be romantic? Why or why not?
Yara doesn't consider himself to be romantic, but probably is? He'd be the kinda person to leave sappy notes for his partner to find and hold hands etc. Nuts loves to tease him about it.
21. What are they most afraid of? What made them fear this?
Early on? Being decommissioned. Especially after he loses half his hearing early on after being deployed and ends up with nerve damage in his hands (he loses the rest of his hearing towards the end of the war). Nova and Purrgil promised to protect him, but it doesn't take his fear away completely. Post O66 he is most afraid of the Empire coming for their clan, since they're all deserters.
22. What is something others admire about them? Are they aware that people admire them for this?
His family very much admires his ability to adapt. Especially Mij is very proud of how quickly Yara has learned to lip read, how he has taught himself to live with his disability and how he makes the most with what he has. He's not specifically aware they admire him for this, though he knows his buir is proud of him <3
23. Where would they fall on a politeness/rudness scale of 1-10 (1 being the most polite and 10 being the rudest)?
2. The only reason it's not 1, is because later on he learns to stand up for himself more and sometimes snarks at nat-borns who disrespect him XD
Thank you for all the questions! I feel like I learned some new things about Yara as well!
1. Who are they closest to? How did they meet and what do they like to do together?
Yara is closest to Jinn. Jinn has taken care of Yara since he was a tiny cadet on Kamino who showed more interest in tech than in fighting. They met when Jinn found Yara hiding in a supply closet, trying to hack his own training results so he wouldn't be decommisioned. Jinn watched after him after that, named him and stepped in once or twice when other cadets tried to bully him. Jinn loves languages and reading about different cultures, Yara loves listening to him. After Jinn gets deployed, Yara hacks his own files to change his age and assigns himself to Halo Company as well, a full two years before his training is supposed to be finished.
Jinn's death absolutely crushes Yara and it takes a while for him to get close to anyone again after that. Nova pairs him up with Purrgil intentionally, so they can keep an eye on each other, which works. After Order 66 he is closest with Nuts. They like to watch holo dramas together, especially detective ones and try to guess the plot twists and throw shade. Nuts also likes to drag Yara along into his crazy plans.
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skiyoosmi · 3 years
Text
post-break up heartaches
verse 3. in the warmth of your love and the comfort of your touch
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⤷ sakusa kiyoomi, miya atsumu
⤷ verse 1 | verse 2
⤷ play. i'll be fine somehow by benjamin ingrosso, remember the mornings by clinton kane
commissions: open
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⇢ SAKUSA was hardly a believer of gods, firm with following his principles of crediting only the existence of things he can see with his own eyes. he detested myths, fairytales, anything that is far from reality. he thinks they're foolish; you thought otherwise— you adored anything that had something to do fiction, always finding the comfort of it being an escape from the harsh world you live in. it was the very same reason why the living room of the apartment you used to share with him was filled with shelves, full of books that you've read countless times but never got tired of them.
he heaves a sigh as he enters the apartment, shoulders drooping because like any other day, he is met by nothing but silence. his figure stops by the doorway leading to the said living room, eyes scanning the said area with a profound longing swimming in them. he imagines you standing there, bright orbs that were full of wonder looking up the shelves that were much taller than you, in a dilemma because you have no idea what you wanted to read next. and then you'll probably sense his presence because you'll soon turn your head to his direction, giving him a beautiful smile that somehow lifts his mood up. you always felt him, you've always felt everything for him.
"welcome home, kiyoomi."
he feels his heart becoming heavier because after a few seconds, he's pulled back to the reality. you were gone... you weren't coming back and it's all because of him.
"let's get divorce, yn. i... don't feel anything anymore."
he wonders what made him think that way, because his present state was obviously the exact opposite of what has been said to you. regret pools even in the deepest pits of his stomach as he remembers it all— the dinners you prepared with only care and love for him in your mind, his monotonous voice as he spoke those words oh so carelessly, your failed attempts of giving him an understanding smile, only for your lips to wobble as you held in your cries,
i understand, kiyoomi... j-just send me the papers and i-i'll sign them as soon as possible.
the doorbell brings him back from his trail of thoughts, a small light of hope ignited within him that maybe... just maybe it's you. to his disappointment, he's faced by a delivery man, a brown envelope being held out to him, "mr. sakusa kiyoomi?"
he nods, cautiously taking the said object and signing some papers before coming back to the darkness of his house. carefully, he tears it open, his insides slowly but surely becoming twisted altogether as he takes out the contents of the envelope.
hello kiyoomi, you weren't sending any document to me so i took the initiative to get the divorce papers. i guess you're still busy with work so that's understandable. i signed it. i don't want to hold you back from your happiness so yeah, this is it. i... i just want to thank you for making me feel so many things for all the years. it was a pleasure being your wife. it might be a bit overbearing but keep in mind that i'll always love you, my feelings... they're all for you, no matter how many years may pass. goodbye.
sakusa was hardly a believer of gods... but as his hands clutch the diamond ring you once wore close to his chest, he begins to pray to all of them— to give him the power to turn back time, to undo the agony and pain he gave you, to let him see your smile once more, to give you each and every bit of his feelings again—
but like any other day, he is met by nothing but silence.
⇢ ATSUMU furrows his eyebrows together due to the sudden ringing of his doorbell because as far as he can remember, he wasn't supposed to have any guests today. he had already planned to sulk his day off away by watching some sappy dramas and movies, your favorite ones— so who in the world decided to break his agenda?
he huffs, placing the remote he was previously holding on the coffee table, and stands up, footsteps heavy as he trudges towards the door, eyes widening when he sees you through the peephole. he swears he's never opened the front door so fast, "yn!"
his heart quickly thumps against his chest as he takes in your form; despite the slightly visible bags under your eyes (he thinks it's due to you overworking as usual— he hopes it's because you're thinking of him the way he thinks of you), you shone bright like every single day that passed and he can't help but wonder what made him think of letting you go that night. i can find someone better than you, someone who won't bother me every fucking second just because they're so needy for attention, his words echo in his head.
he tries to give you a strained smile, cringing internally as he looks right into your eyes that held nothing but pure anger and disappointment for him, "we're not friends, atsumu. not anymore so drop the friendly act."
you walk past him and heads straight to the painfully familiar bedroom, ignoring the rushing footsteps behind you, along with the quiet begging that escapes his mouth, "i love you, yn. i'm sorry, please."
"i'm just here to get my things, not make amends with you and our relationship," you reply, harshly swallowing the vile feeling that attempts to get out of your throat, "i... i just... i know love isn't supposed ask for something back... but don't you think it was too one-sided considering we're in a relationship, tsumu? i barely see you and talk to you without you feeling all bothered and annoyed. i get it, you're tired... but i am not a punching bag, you don't get to take it out on me every single time you come home."
you take a deep breath, cursing because this was not in any of your plans for today. shoving the last pieces of your remaining things as quick as possible and slinging your bag over your shoulder, you take one last look at the room you once found comfort in, only feeling your heart clench because this same scenario was exactly what happened on your last night here— same break up scenario, same hearts aching, same atsumu looking at you regretfully, same hand that reaches out for you as you both stand by the doorway.
"stay... please. i can't do this without you," he croaks out, the grip on your wrist tightening because he's terrified, scared to let you go, scared that you slip out of his hold and never return.
you don't reply for a moment, not even sparing him a glance, before removing his hand, "i'll... give you a call... maybe... maybe not... i don't know."
you know you'll never do. you think he knows that too— still, he holds onto the hope your words provided him.
but no calls came despite him waiting until past midnight and as he lied on his bed, chest contracting due to the pain his heart feels, he chokes out a pathetic laugh,
so this is what you felt like when i broke countless promises that i made to you, huh, yn?
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© SKIYOOSMI, 2021 — reposting, translating, editing, copying and any kind of plagiarism are strictly prohibited, thank you.
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smuggsy · 3 years
Note
i would love to see #11 for the prompt thing (just want to say i adore ur current ed/oswald/omc series btw im excited for more! <3)
owww, thank you so much <3 it's nice to hear ppl are actually enjoying it bc i've got almost no feedback. another chapter is coming soon (;
but now onto the whump below the cut. #11 “Please, let me help you.” 
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Getting used to his impaired vision is no easy task, he'll admit. Now that the doctor's made a thorough job of cleaning the wound and administering antibiotics to prevent infection and prescribed him two different kinds of painkillers and now that the initial shock of it all has passed. Now it downs on Oswald that this is who he's going to be from now on, that watching his step carefully when he goes down the stairs and bumping into walls that are closer than they seem is something he's going to have to get used to. 
As if walking around with a limp and a cane wasn't demeaning enough already. He lets out a grunt as he finally makes it to the kitchen, everything is sunk in darkness and he fails to turn on the lights two times before he finally finds the switch.
He sees the switch. He knows where it is. It's always been there, in that exact same spot, and he's walked into the kitchen in the middle of the night to fix himself some tea countless times before.
Now the switch has moved.
"Urrgh," he grunts one more time as he turns around and collides against the kitchen aisle. He nearly grabs one of the chairs and tosses it across the room, a sudden rush of adrenaline and fury coursing through his sleep-deprived mind.
There's a pang behind his eyepatch as if mocking his helplessness but he calms down soon enough, closing his good eye and taking a deep breath to brace himself against the counter. He manages to put the kettle on without any further incidents, but when he stands on his toes to reach the cabinet —how many times has he told Olga to keep that stupid tea-set at hand?!— he topples over and ends up sending two very nice cups to their deaths.
They crash on the floor with a piercing sound and Oswald startles and grits his teeth at the commotion. 
Deep breaths, deeeeeep breaths.
Choosing to ignore the incident he turns around to switch off the gas with trembling hands and pour the water into the one cup he did manage to obtain. 
Except, of course, his mind is still foggy from restless sleep and drugs so he misjudges the angle entirely and ends up pouring it all over his hand holding the teabag in place instead.
He lets out a yelp and drops the kettle instantly.
"Ow! Shit! Stupid little—!"
The water drips onto the floor unceremoniously as he tumbles over to reach the water tap and put his hand under it.
Ed barges into the place only half a minute later wielding a handgun, with hair sticking out and with his glasses askew. Oswald barely spares him a glance, blood boiling under his skin and dangerously close to the edge already.
"Oswald, what—"
"Nothing!" he blurts out almost immediately. Edward bearing witness to this mess is the last thing he needs right now, "just go away."
But, of course, he's Edward.
"What happened?" his friend asks, pistol forgotten on some nearby shelf and rushing over, words the slightest bit slurred by slumber and Oswald thinks lucky you, being able to get a wink of sleep, and takes another of those deep breaths that are doing a poor job of slowing down his heart rate. 
"What does it look like it happened, Ed?!"
Edward stares at him numbly and then his eyes dart around the place like he's only now taking it all in, seeing the shattered china on the floor and the pool of water by their feet. Immediately he brings both hands to Oswald's under the cold water from the tap and tugs at it.
"Let me see."
Oswald jerks him away.
"No— I'm fine!" he bites out, "go back to sleep."
Despite his ill-mannered humour, Edward doesn't move. Oswald doesn't look at him while he stands next to him in silence, letting the waters cool, clearly giving him a moment to backtrack on his request. And then, ever so softly, Ed's hands return, to his elbow this time. A touch too gentle it almost makes Oswald let out a whine — because he's tired, and aching, and sleepy and nothing turns out for him as of late.
"Please, let me help you."
His words are a caress in Oswald's ear. Barely there. Ed keeps his warm fingers on his arm and slowly brings the hand to his chest for inspection. Oswald lets him, this time. All energy seems to leave him with that puff of breath and he lets Ed guide him to one of those chairs he was contemplating taking all of his frustrations out on just a minute ago.
There's a slight hiss of sympathy.
"Should be alright with a little cream and a bandage," is Edward's assessment. 
Oswald rolls his eyes and fights down a sappy retort much like: yes, I know that, I'm not so incompetent that I need you here to issue an official diagnosis, just leave me to rage in peace. He nods tiredly instead, shoulders slumped and yawn unavoidable.
"I'll be right back," Ed says with a hoarse voice, moving around quickly despite his dishevelled appearance, looking perfectly awake now but sounding nothing like it. 
Oswald doesn't try to stop him. Because he knows it'll be a lost cause and because he's afraid if he starts poking too much at the situation he'll end up embarrassing himself and crying out his frustrations on Ed's shoulder.
Not ideal.
So he keeps silent instead, watching Ed's expert hands apply that cold salve on his knuckles and wrap his aching red-looking skin in a white bandage, giving up on not looking miserable because what's the point.
He is miserable.
"There, all done."
Ed pats him twice on the thigh as if comforting a hurting animal and Oswald can only offer a small scoff in return. He can smell Ed's shampoo from where he's standing so close and he keeps his eyes fixed on that loose crumpled white shirt he wears to sleep, afraid to look up into the gentle eyes he knows he'll find behind those glasses.
Because he might start blurting out stuff that shouldn't be blurt out if he does, as helpless and exhausted as he's beginning to feel.
"Now let's get you that cup of tea."
Ed turns around to make himself busy and Oswald takes the opportunity to scatter away.
"Where—"
"Sofa," he crooks out deadpan. 
That's where Ed finds him ten minutes later, staring at the unlit fireplace as if willing it to come to life on its own. Sitting on his usual spot with the lights off and a glassy look of resignation. 
"Chamomile," Ed says as he offers the steaming cup. Oswald doesn't have the heart to tell him he's changed his mind and would rather down a glass or two of that aged Scotch instead. He takes a sip without muttering out a word. Ed sits down just beside, clearly not taking the hint, "you're uncharacteristically quiet."
Oswald shrugs.
"Just tired," he offers, and then, only to put Ed's mind at ease, gives him a practised look of reassurance and a smile, "I didn't mean to wake you up."
Edward turns the attention back to him, ignoring the clear dismissal implicit in the words.
"Did you go to sleep at all?"
"Yes."
"Is your eye bothering you?"
And then the Oswald from the kitchen returns without a warning and he lashes out.
"Goodnight, Ed."
Edward goes to speak again but stops himself when Oswald sends him a sharp menacing look. He looks nothing short of a kicked puppy as he gets on his feet and turns around to leave.
And then he doesn't leave.
"I could start a fir—"
"Goddamn it, Ed! Just leave me alone!"
And just like that the fourth and last cup of that lovely set ceases to exist, turned into another pile of shattered porcelain on the floor. Because Edward Nygma is a pain in his fucking ass, and he doesn't know how to read an indirect and back down and just disappear. He pokes and pokes and pokes—
—and when Oswald turns to look at him with that murderous glare, he sees no reaction from him. Clearly, this was his intention all along, from the very first moment he walked into that kitchen, to see just how much he could take, to push until he broke, to make him talk about it.
Oswald should have learnt to read Edward Nygma by now. Should’ve seen it coming.
As Ed strides back to him with purpose and swiftly sits back down on the sofa and leans in to wrap him into an embrace, Oswald understands he definitely still hasn't learnt to read Edward Nygma. 
"What are you doing?" he pushes him away half-heartedly with his good hand. Edward doesn't let go, an unmovable brick wall that cannot be swayed.
"I'm hugging you."
"Let go—"
"No."
Oswald blinks. Then lets out a breathless laugh. He can't seem to fathom any other reaction to this — provided this is actually happening. Provided it isn't a secondary effect of being drugged up to his eyeballs for a whole week, now. 
He stops trying to tug Edward away and instead slumps against him, head resting on a slim shoulder and cold and runny nose poking Ed's neck as he keeps giggling at the unprecedented gesture. 
Edward's hug is implacable but awkward. He doesn't move, his broad hands against Oswald's back just pin him in place almost in a possessive fashion. He's clearly unskilled in the ways of physical reassurance.
Oswald realises those nervous giggles he's letting out are actually sobs.
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tefilovesreading · 3 years
Text
It’s a Match! Part. 3
Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Fem!Reader.
Word count: +2,9k
Warnings: A few swearing words but nothing else!
A/N: It’s a Match is finally back!! Let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist! 
Edited by: @theamazingtomholland
MASTERLIST // PART 1 // PART 2
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The soft melody Charlie was playing on his guitar made her look at the propped-up iPad while she cut some veggies and her heart skipped a beat with the intense look he was giving her. If that’s how he made her feel through a screen she knew she was bound to collapse under his gaze once they met in person.
“What are you playing?” Y/N asked with one last look, before setting her attention on the cutting board. If she ended up with a missing finger because of him and his tempting smile, she was going to block him. 
“Traverser l’hiver” he answered, and  Y/N raised her eyebrows in surprise, she definitely wasn’t expecting him to answer her in French, “I’ve been listening to that song on repeat the last couple of days, and now I’m trying to learn it.”
“What does it mean?” she questioned, putting down the knife for a bit, so she could focus on his explanation.
“Making it through winter,” Charlie replied, plucking the guitar strings softly, “the song talks about how his relationships never last and that he’s glad that they made it through the winter because he can’t get enough of her.”
“Send me the song later,” she mentioned with a smile. That sounded like a good song, and she wanted to know what his music style was like.
Calling each other on FaceTime while they did their own stuff quickly became their thing since they matched on the app two weeks ago, just enjoying the company and asking questions once in a while. Normally it was just her doing stuff like cleaning her desk or cooking while Charlie sat there playing the guitar or reading a script.
“It’s in French,” he warned her, and even if she wasn’t looking at the screen, she already knew he was giving her That smile, the one that made her stomach flutter with excitement. 
“Music is a universal language, Charlie,” she chuckled.
“I thought that was love,” the boy pointed out playfully, “I’m gonna send it as soon as we hang up. Promise.”
“Good, because I’m not sure if I’d be able to find it.”
Y/N saw him throw his head back as he laughed, the movement loosening his man bun. She inhaled deeply, before looking away from the screen. She wanted to know if his hair was as soft as it looked.
“What are you cooking anyway?” Charlie questioned when his laughter died down, and he stopped playing with the guitar strings.
“I’m meal prepping actually,” Y/N admitted with a grin.
“No way,” he gasped, and she felt her cheeks blushing. 
“This is the first time I’m trying so don’t make fun of me,” she begged as a joke.
“Never, I’m actually impressed with your commitment because that takes a lot of time,” he mentioned with a soft smile. 
She smiled at him and bit her lip. Fuck it, she was gonna ask him to meet up. There was no way she could wait one more week, her assignments could wait.
“Y/N,” Charlie called her, and she tilted her head just a little to let him know she was listening, “let me take you on a date. You get to choose the place.”
She tried to hide her smile without much success, just knowing that Charlie was thinking about the same thing she was thinking made her feel so happy and excited about going out with him. 
Two weeks ago, she’d have never thought about developing such a strong connection with him or that she’d get so happy whenever a new text from Charlie appeared on her phone. The thought of their connection made her relax, she could feel it on her heart that this wasn’t gonna end in another ghosting experience for her.
“Can I tell you something before I answer?” Y/N asked with a grin.
“If you tell me you’re married, I think I can share,” he joked but nodded giving her the green light to ask him whatever she had on her mind.
“I was about to ask you the same thing before you asked me out,” she confessed and the look in Charlie’s face made her whole body tingle. He was too good with eye contact for his own good.
“In that case, I’m glad I asked first,” Charlie mentioned winking at her, and she knew her cheeks were blushing with that simple gesture.
When Jo came back home, she found Y/N smiling at her phone while French music played through the speakers. There was no doubt about who was responsible for putting that smile on her friend’s face. 
“What got you so happy?” Jo asked even if she knew the answer to her question.
“I’m going on a date with Charlie, in two days,” she responded holding back the excited squeal that was threatening to escape from her mouth.
“Dude, finally!” Jo scoffed but smiled at her excitement. Y/N deserved to have fun and go on dates. Her friend deserved to feel something for a guy again.
“Oh shut up!” Y/N laughed and put her head on her friend’s shoulder, “I’m so scared of how I feel about all this and I haven’t met him yet.”
“It’ll be okay,” Jo promised, resting her head on top of Y/N’s, “and if it doesn’t, we can always watch sappy movies and have ice cream for dinner.”
Two days later Jo followed the anxious girl pace in their living room, babbling about not knowing what to wear for her date or hypotheticals scenarios where Charlie would kidnap her and sell her organs on the black market.
“Y/N,” Jo said and the girl ignored her, “Y/N!” this time her friend stopped and looked at her with regret, “if you don’t wanna go then tell him.”
“But I do wanna go,” she grumbled as she sat beside Jo on the couch, “I’m just nervous about the date.”
“Where are you going?” Jo questioned.
“I told him we could go to Salt and Straw, ‘cause he has never been there,” Y/N responded biting her nails, “and then I think he said something about going to Vista Hermosa, but we’re not sure.”
“That sounds like a good plan, just make sure you go somewhere where you can talk and get to know each other.”
“Yeah, I know,” she mumbled, “I should probably start getting ready.”
She pressed her lips together in front of the mirror before throwing the lip gloss on her bag and making sure she had everything.
“Keys, Kleenex, mints, wallet and…,” she whispered and her friend’s hand appeared in front of her, “I don’t need condoms, Jo. It’s our first date, I’m not gonna have sex with him.”
“Honey, you never know,” Jo claimed with a knowing look on her face, “take them, just in case.”
“You’re a nightmare,” the girl huffed but took them and put them in her bag.
“I’m just making sure you have protection in case you need it,” her friend laughed and Y/N rolled her eyes trying to hide her smile.
Her phone chimed with a new text and her heart started racing in her chest. 
Charlie: i’m outside.
“Shit, shit, shit,” she whispered and looked at Jo with panic in her eyes, “he’s here. What do I do?” 
“Tell him to come upstairs, I’ll open the door, so he knows you have someone waiting for you to come back,” Jo ushered her to send her a text back.
Y/N: almost ready!! can you come upstairs?? i’ll buzz you in Charlie: sure!! no problem Charlie: what apartment??
Just a few minutes later she heard a knock on her door and Jo walked out of her room to go and open the door. She took off one earring as she heard her friend’s voice letting Charlie inside their apartment. As soon as Y/N heard his voice, she felt the butterflies go mad in her stomach.  
She grabbed her bag and made her way to the living room, putting on her earring again to pretend she wasn’t ready.
“Hey,” she let out and held back her breath when their eyes met. 
“Hi,” Charlie said standing up from his seat. 
If Jo felt the electricity that filled the room while they were looking at each other, she didn’t mention it. But Y/N felt her whole body tingle with excitement at the sight of the boy right in front of her. 
She lifted her right hand nervously, not sure if she should go for a handshake or not, but her hand got trapped between her body and Charlie’s as he went for a hug. It wasn’t long, just really soft and kinda comforting. 
“Sorry,” they both said at the same time when he noticed Y/N went for a handshake instead.
“It’s okay,” Y/N said giving him a reassuring smile and tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear. 
“Ready to go?” Charlie asked pointing with his thumb to the front door. With a soft nod, she followed him to the front door, giving her best friend one last glance, Jo winked her eye at her and gave her the thumbs up.
“I parked the car around the corner,” Charlie mentioned once they were out of the apartment building.
“You found a parking spot nearby?” Y/N questioned in surprise and when he nodded eagerly she let out a laugh, “lucky guy.”
Hearing him laugh at her comment right next to her made the butterflies in her stomach go crazy. He took the car keys out of his pocket and unlocked the orange Subaru close to them. 
“Thank you,” Y/N smiled at him when Charlie opened the door for her. 
“No problem.”
“Get it together, Y/N,” she muttered before the boy opened his door. The nervousness coursing through her body made it feel like her tongue was tied, and she didn’t know how to put into words how glad she was to be there with him by her side. 
“So which Salt and Straw are we going to?” Charlie asked, starting the car and getting out of the parking spot. 
“We should go to the one near Little Tokyo, that one is closer to Vista Hermosa,” she replied and furrowed her eyebrows, trying to recall if it was actually close or not.
“Can you,” Charlie started, trying to get his phone out of his pocket, “type in the address? I’ve been living here for years, but I still need the GPS.” He handed her his phone after he unlocked it.
“When did you move here?” Y/N asked, taking the opportunity to start a small conversation
 and getting to know him a little better.
“I moved to Toronto right after high school and then moved to L.A. a few months after,” he bit his lip, probably trying to do the math on his mind, “About 3 years now?”
“I’m gonna let the GPS pass just because you are brave enough to drive here,” she joked and Charlie shot her a grin that screamed trouble. And she loved it.
The fifteen minutes ride from her apartment to the ice cream shop went by in a blink of an eye, between questions, jokes, and the occasional humming coming from Charlie whenever the radio played a song he liked or knew.
“What flavor should we get?” Charlie questioned, placing his hand on her shoulder to keep her by his side in the busy shop. She glanced at the hand over her shoulder and her heart started racing.
“What if we get the flight?” Y/N hinted, pointing at the option on the board, “that way we can pick four flavors.”
“Good idea, then I want Brown Ale and Bacon, and the Double-fold Vanilla,” Charlie said with an excited smile on his face to the guy behind the counter, “and you?”
“Strawberry Tres Leches and Chocolate Gooey Brownie,” Y/N responded after a few seconds of thinking which flavor could match better with Charlie’s choices.
“You realize we still got chocolate and vanilla ice cream, right?” Charlie chuckled and Y/N rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hide the smile forming on her lips, “next time we only pick the monthly flavors, deal?” 
Y/N looked up at him and nodded in response, knowing very well that meant he was considering going on a second date with her while the first one just started.
“They’re not gonna last till we get to the park, Charlie,” she warned as they made their way back to the car.
“That’s why I bought cookies,” he smiled as he tried to balance his car keys and the box with ice cream in one hand, “C’mon hurry up,” he ushered her, grabbing her hand with his free hand and guiding her through the surrounding people. 
It wasn’t like he laced their finger together or something like that, he just grabbed her hand to make sure he wouldn’t lose her in the crowd, but the touch made her wish he would never let go of her. Of course, it wasn’t the first time he touched her, but the small amount of time she got to spend with him in person was enough to feel drawn to him in such a magnetic way, she never imagined possible.
“Oh that one is fucking delicious,” Charlie gasped after Y/N’s hand moved away with the now empty little spoon, his eyes still focused on the road ahead of them, “which one it was?”
“That was Strawberry Tres Leches,” she replied with a hint of pride laced on her voice, “your pick isn’t bad, you know?”
Charlie raked a hand through his hair and turned around just a few seconds to show her a bright smile.
“I have good taste,” he observed in a tone that let her know he wasn’t just talking about ice cream flavors.
Y/N opened her mouth, but the words never came out, shaking her head in pure amusement she dipped the tiny spoon in another flavor and offered it to him. What was she supposed to say?
“Why did we think we’d get there with ice cream?”  Y/N questioned when Charlie opened the car door for her. 
“No idea, but we have a plan b,” he added, giving her the bag with cookies and opening the back door to search for something, “there we go.” 
“I want that one,” Y/N said, taking the orange and mango-flavored Capri Sun out of his hand with the biggest smile on her face. 
“I’m gonna give it to you just this time because that’s my favorite,” Charlie scoffed, but the smile that seemed to be permanent on his face gave him away.
He made her feel so relaxed but his energy was so contagious, she felt like she could do anything if she wanted to. 
“Would you go on a hike with me?” he asked her before taking a sip of his Capri Sun. The juice pouch looked ridiculous tiny in his hands.
“You’d have to take it easy on me,” she commented and closed her eyes to feel the sun on her face with delight.
“So that’s a yes,” Charlie stated and the excitement in his voice made her open her eyes, so she could look at the boy sitting next to her on the grass.
“Sure,” she giggled and turned her focus to the impressive view. The overlook of Downtown Los Angeles always took her breath away, reminding her how little she really was.
When they left the park, just minutes before it closed, both of them wanting the date to last a bit longer. 
“Do you mind if we stop for a coffee?” Y/N asked, her voice just loud enough for him to hear her above the music playing, her hands fidgeting on her lap.
“I was gonna ask you the same,” he replied, “we can always drive all the way to the beach if you’re up to that.”
“Are you serious?” Charlie’s beaming smile was the only answer she needed, “let’s go then.”
Being stuck in traffic with Charlie wasn’t bad at all, that meant more time together and a jamming session for them. Y/N knew he could sing, she heard him humming on their previous video calls but getting to listen to him really sing without a care in the world was amazing. 
“Stop bragging, I get it, you can sing,” she teased him.
“Don’t be shy, I know you can sing too,” Charlie said as he parked the car. And there it was, the weakness that meant seeing him backing up the car with just one hand. 
“Right,” she said clearing her throat and unbuckling her seatbelt after he fully stopped the car, suddenly the car felt too hot for her. 
“Don’t you think you’re gonna get cold without a jacket, Y/N?” Charlie questioned, grabbing two hoodies from the back seat.
“I was counting on borrowing yours,” she admitted with a shrug. 
“Let’s go before we miss the sunset,” the corners of his mouth turned up glad she was finally flirting back. Not that she didn’t do it before, but it was nice to hear she was as interested as him.
Their arms were brushing, bodies as close as possible while they faced the ocean and the sky changing colors as the sunset on the horizon. The breeze sent shivers down her spine and she pulled the sleeves to hide her hands to keep them warm. Charlie looked at her and put his arm over her shoulder, pulling her closer.
“I guess my hoodie won’t be enough uh.”
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