i honestly dont have words anymore

He's practically melting but he doesn't have the heart to move them

yeah that's uhh that's definitely something

Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.

G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.

An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........

bepo "i have to grieve over my brother but my husband is back from his personal little war and I'm way too happy about that so i'm crying out of happiness instead" of the mink tribe

when something happens but you are already entirely occupied with a much bigger thing - and its crazy that law going off on his "i may not return, sorry" mission alone - WAS more important to bepo in the moment than learning about the death of his brother...

because realistically he kinda lost his brother when zepo left when bepo was 8. he just vaguely held onto hope of possibly seeing him again. learning that big mom killed him took away that possibility and that's all that bepo lost

meanwhile law is bepo's whole life....he lived with law for his conscious years as a teen and adult, and even in simple numbers he lived with law for longer that he lived on zou

i'm absolutely reading too much into the bad writing and shoddy development of bepo& zepo's story, filling the giant gap all by myself but i like that it being underwritten aids to lawbepo. and i love the simple brutality of it

String you up, tie you down (Patreon)

oversharing time!!: so today is a traumatic date for me and i've been like hardcore dissociating all day (which is still better than the usual crying fits i have on this date) and my bf tried to take me out to do things with him to get my mind off shit. which led to me standing in the check-out line of a grocery store like a fucking zombie listening to livin la vida loca on the store's speakers and i was so foggy it sounded like it was coming from like ten different places at once lmao it was wild. then we finally got back home and i IMMEDIATELY violently threw up everywhere lmfao i cant believe i used to like, somewhat function im a fucking mess <333

i used to feel nothing and then i grew up and since have felt everything a little too much

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Shawn Whaley, 19, Henford-On-Bagley

"Heard you were lookin' for a farm hand."

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once again. lucifer came out of the cage surprisingly well-adjusted. all things considered.

my depression is getting really really bad. like it’s been bad before but this is like… consistently really bad. like a long unending stretch for several weeks (and tbh months) now. to the point where no inoculation actually sticks (and im isolating myself from most of my inoculations anyway and feel unable to stop doing it even though i know it’s self destructive). im either helplessly unbearably miserable or numbing out on video games. i just don’t feel like it’s going to get better for me and i KNOW that is factually untrue but the feeling is louder than the knowledge and it’s just utterly immobilizing. ive been sinking in quicksand for 2 years.

silence is uncomfortable at best for most people, but brad bakshi thrives in it. he’s the type of freak to sit in his living room in complete silence and read or scroll through twitter or stare off into space and Think. no music, no tv, no nothing. i bet he doesnt even HAVE a tv. it would just be a waste of money, since he already has a phone and laptop he can easily access netflix and other streaming services through. he’d rather read the news than sit through ten minutes of a reporter explaining what’s happening that could have been easily summarized in two sentences. he’d rather cook at home than go out to eat for the same reason (the rest of the world is never fast enough for him). anyway this has been another Weird Brad headcanon brought to you once again by tay :)

[i hope their sacrifice was appreciated]