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#jolyne’s lawyer
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Jolyne: *goes to jail for a murder she didn’t commit* *immediately commits actual murder*
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cockneydio · 9 months
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My stagnation with Stone Ocean is due in no small part to a mental block over Jolyne's plea deal surprise. It's just. It is not possible. Even if she had the shittiest lawyer in the world (she did), even in..Florida...the judge would read each count fully before asking if she pleads guilty to them like how the fuck and the DA would intervene immediately?.? or any of the fifteen other people milling around the courtroom? And even if they're all in cahoots with Bilbo Boyfriend or whatever master plan (I haven't even finished the Manhattan Transfer arc like that's how frustrating this is), she could appeal even after waiving her right to appeal on the grounds that her defense attorney misrepresented the terms of the agreement, made false promises, and wasn't acting in good faith.
This has been bothering me for four months with no end in sight. In case you were wondering about my blog title.
EDIT and ofc I know this is JoJo's Bizarre Adventure the animated liminal space between twin peaks and the uncanny valley but like 🔌 ground that bitch??
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tainted-scholar · 2 years
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Look, I’m just saying that considering all the weird shit that happens in Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan there’s no reason that Jolyne’s lawyer couldn’t be an actual elf or fairy.
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tutorialhomu · 1 year
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listen im gnna be real i've been joking abt how "if pucci doesn't count his prime numbers in the anime im dropping it" but LIKE BABES IM GNNA BE REAL WHEN HE ACTUALLY DID I STARTED SCREAMING
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God I want to see how fucked op they made mr tumnus look
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darthcontusion · 1 year
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Seen in a Florida newspaper: Elf Lawyer Sends Client to Super-Jail
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frogmintmilk · 5 months
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Why does Jolyne's lawyer look like dat tho
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starplatinumgold · 6 months
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stone ocean au where pretty much everything is the same except fugo is jolyne’s lawyer
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corpsoir · 29 days
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How are we feeling about how Giorno would go about having to bail out Lawyer-Fugo after that issue with trying to defend Jolyne? 👀
i mean. he has got to be aware of just how badly it will go from the start right? like, giorno knows fugo. he knows he cant deal with that, its like hes sending him off and immediately turns around to cover his laughter and then a few days later he gets the call about having to bail him out and he and mista lose it
what im saying is there is NO WAY he sent fugo off without KNOWING it would end catastrophically HGJKHKJGSD
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bitter-abt-bruno · 5 months
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S/O's reaction to Jolyne going to jail
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Sorry for the hiatus, I had a mental breakdown again. It be like that sometimes. Hopefully, I can get more out soon! click to read the sad hc uwu.
She dated Romeo just to cover for your relationship.
You’ve been dating for several months before she was arrested .
The controller falls from your hand when you saw the accident on TV.
 you bolted to the jail house right away.
When you finally got there (and when they had enough of your beratement while waiting), the look in her eyes made you want to cry.
They looked red and puffy, darkened under the lids from exhaustion.
“What are you doing here, S/O?”
“What am I doing here?! What are you doing here?!”
You couldn’t bare the thoughts of knowing your soulmate inside the cold cell of a prison.
She tells you the whole truth in whisper, stuttering as she goes.
You couldn’t believe it; the story, the fact she was paying the price for an accident, that it would probably be years until you both can be in each other’s arms again-
You started to tear up.
“Why Jolyne?! Why were you with him?! I told you to come to my house instead!”
She doesn’t handle the sudden outburst very well.
She only looks at you with cold, yet sullen eyes.
“Look, I’m sorry that I didn’t listen to you…”
You couldn’t face her anymore, your face and upper torso crumbled on the ledge of the visitation booth.
“My god Jolyne! Wh-What can we even do...”
“Baby, look at me.”
You reluctantly look back at her, tears rolling down your face.
“I know this is fucked up, but,”
She puts her hand onto the glass separating you two,
“I’ll get out of here, don’t worry.”
She has a fierce light in her eyes, now empowered by your grief.
You send money whenever you can so you both can call when you have free time.
She talks about getting free and coming out when she’s out 
She also keeps you updated on how the court case is proceeding and talks about how big her lawyer’s ears are.
She tries her hardest to put on a brave face for you. She doesn’t want to see you cry anymore.
When her trial was about to start, you sat in the courtroom, praying for a low sentence.
It broke your heart to she her dragged out of the courtroom, screaming bloody murder.
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ookamihanta · 2 years
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A parent teacher conference meeting ft. the Joestar technique.
Brief explanation: An alternative verse where Gio, Jos, and Jolyne all attend Morioh HS and currently live with Jotaro as their guardian. All the jojos are alive and well--Dio is a traveling lawyer, Jonathan is an archeologist, Joseph a traveling real estate agent, and Jotaro a marine biologist at a university in Morioh. Dio and Jonathan are brothers and around 60-70ish years old. Joseph and Jotaro are the sons of Jonathan. Josuke and Shizuka are Joseph’s kids, Giorno is Dio’s grandson, and Jolyne is Jotaro’s daughter. Idk why anyone thought leaving the kids with Jotaro was the best idea, but it leaves for situations like this to happen haha. 
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💗🌸Master List🌸💗
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Rules 
Requests: Closed
Feel free to come in and chat or send memes though!
[M] - Smut  
Tags: monster au (monster boys/monster kink), thirst (general thirsting/hcs/confessions), wholesome (general pg hcs/confessions), confession (anons/users submit hcs and I elaborate), dom hours (jjba characters being subs hcs/confessions), women hours (jojo women/genderbend character hcs/confessions)
current anons: 🥛, 👸,🐜,🌹,✨,🧋,💖, t, good boy,☀️, 🌻, 💘, 🌞, 💙, 🍒, 🐇
OCs: Vittoria, Raphael, Mariya, Iris,
Part 1:
Jonathan Joestar 
Break or not to Break [M]
Cuddle Headcanons
Cuddling Naked Headcanons [M]
Thirst: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 [M]
Relax [M]
Dio Brando
Lawyer + Assistant Reader [M]
Part 2:
Joseph Joestar 
S/O Caught Masturbating [M]
Hucow Headcanons [M]
Cuddling Naked Headcanons [M]
Drunk Sex [M]
IRL Dick Headcanon [M]
Caesar Zeppeli 
Hucow Headcanons [M]
IRL Dick Headcanon [M]
Kars 
Hucow Headcanons [M]
Pet Play [M]
Messing with their Ears, Horns, and Tails [M]
IRL Dick Headcanon [M]
Corruption Kink [M]
Wamuu
Size Kink Headcanons [M]
Break or not to Break [M]
Hucow Headcanons [M]
Messing with their Ears, Horns, and Tails [M]
IRL Dick Headcanon [M]
Esidisi
Messing with their Ears, Horns, and Tails [M]
IRL Dick Headcanon [M]
Lisa Lisa
IRL Pussy Headcanon [M]
Suzi Q
IRL Pussy Headcanon
Part 3:
Jotaro Kujo 
Size Kink Headcanon [M]
Cuddle Headcanons
Strip Tease from Chubby GF
Casual Love/Hate Relationship [M]
Cuddling Naked Headcanons [M]
DILF Headcanons [M]
Chubby Reader Headcanons [M]
Housewife Kink [M]
IRL Crusaders Dick Headcanons [M]
A Little More [M] [Dark Content]
Noriaki Kakyoin
Drunk Sex [M]
IRL Crusaders Dick Headcanons [M]
Dollification Headcanons [M]
Jean Pierre Polnareff
Phone Sex Headcanons [M]
Size Kink Headcanons [M]
Break or not to Break [M]
Cuddle Headcanons
IRL Crusaders Dick Headcanons [M]
Old Joseph
DILF Headcanons [M]
IRL Crusaders Dick Headcanons [M]
DIO
Size Kink Headcanons [M]
Chokes S/O to Death [M]
Pet Play [M]
DILF Headcanons [M]
Hypnosis/Aphrodisiac Sex [M]
Housewife Kink [M]
Corruption Kink [M]
Terence T. D'Arby
Dollification Headcanons [M]
Part 4:
Josuke Higashikata
Cuddle Headcanons
Cuddling Naked Headcanons [M]
Selling Josuke like Flex Seal (Cursed)
Sub! Josuke + Mommy Dom! Reader Headcanons [M]
Okuyasu Nijimura
Nsfw Headcanons [M]
Rohan Kishibe
Hypnosis/Aphrodisiac Sex [M]
Mikitaka Hazekura
Sex Pollen [M]
Yoshikage Kira
Pet Play [M]
Hypnosis/Aphrodisiac Sex [M]
Housewife Kink [M]
Corruption Kink [M]
Part 5:
Bucci Gang
La Squadra 
Unita Speciale
Diavolo
Pet Play [M]
DILF Headcanons [M]
Lingerie [M?]
Dirty Talk Scale [M]
Corruption Kink [M]
Part 6:
Jolyne Cujoh
Cuddle Headcanons
Cuddling Naked Headcanons [M]
She Wants Attention [M]
^ the more wholesome edition
NSFW Headcanons + Male! S/O
Weather Report
Cuddle Headcanons 
Narciso Anasui 
Hypnosis/Aphrodisiac Sex [M]
Thirst: 1 2 3 4 5 6
Hermes Costello
Part 7:
Johnny Joestar
Cuddling Naked Headcanons [M]
In a Relationship [M]
Gyro Zeppeli
Drunk Sex [M]
Part 8: 
Josuke “Gappy” Higashikata 
Cuddling Naked Headcanons [M]
Yasuho Hirose
Jobin Higashikata
Hato Higashikata
Daiya Higashikata
Kaato Higashikata
Norisuke Higashikata
Rai Mamezuku
Yoshikage Kira
Josefumi Kujo
Karera Sakunami
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starplasma-cujoh · 9 months
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JoJo's Bizarre Adventure AU where the the only change is Jolyne's lawyer is Higuruma
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tutorialhomu · 1 year
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holy shit i could only watch one ep but?? SO anime FUCKS
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moriohs · 5 months
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How would Jolyne react if her boyfriend reveals that he was bullied by Romeo Jisso during elementary and middle school?
jolyne reacting to her boyfriend saying he was bullied by romeo!
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content warnings: vulgar language is used. mild stone ocean spoilers (covers stuff from the VERY beginning of stone ocean). car crashes are briefly mentioned. there are mentions of bullying but nothing is in detail. reader is masculine.
note: i’m not sure how i feel about this piece,, but i love the idea that jolyne would hold grudges. she doesn’t care how long ago it was, if someone hurt you, she’s coming for them. or at the very least, she’s gonna talk shit about them! it’s not really stated well, but i imagine jolyne and the reader to be in a chair together with the reader holding her for like 90% of these headcanons. i think jolyne would be big on physical contact, that’s all. 
— jolyne cujoh.
> you probably mentioned it offhandedly while you two were together, lounging around in the library. you two were mostly tucked away from the public eye, spending some time alone. whenever she griped about romeo you were always right with her. you even had complaints of your own which, looking back, makes sense. still, it’s not something she expected. jolyne pauses and presses further for more information. if you indulge her and tell her more about your experience, she’ll appreciate your honesty and take it to heart. if you decide not to tell her, that’s fine too. she understands that it’s a personal issue.
> cujoh let’s out a small ‘tsk’ before mumbling under her breath, “he’s been an asshole since day one huh? that bastard. .” 
> she doesn’t take too kindly to people messing with her boyfriend. he was already shit in her opinion. though he was nothing more than a pawn when it came to that car crash, he did pay off that lawyer to make sure she was in jail. hearing about him bullying you just makes him less than shit now. 
> romeo better hope and pray to high heaven that jolyne never crosses paths with him again. she’s not the most just person in the world, and she knows it. still, she’d be damned if she let the asshole that bullied her boyfriend walk away scott-free. 
> it’s been a while since middle school and while the bullying was damaging, it’s not like you’d go out and kill the guy for revenge. when you see cujoh thinking, her mind diligently plotting ways of retribution, you bite your lip. it’s almost scary how serious she gets when people hurt the ones she loves. at the same time. . it makes your heart flutter how much she cares. it’s just a bunch of middle school bullying, but she’s taking it so seriously. you’re grateful everyday to be her boyfriend.
> “babe?” you try to snap her out of her thoughts of vengeance. 
> she blinks once or twice before looking over at you, raising an eyebrow. “yea?”
> “promise me you won’t do anything rash. it’s been a long time since then and he’s not even worth the time anyways.” 
> to her, it was as though you read her mind. jolyne pulled a pout and leaned in to hug you, wrapping her arms around your neck and resting her head in the nook of your shoulder. “you’re right.. i won’t do anything to him.. but i’ll still curse him to hell.” she murmured. the flame of hatred was still burning strong, but at least you had convinced her not to go out of her way to hurt romeo. 
> you two stayed like that, holding each other close until she pulled back and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “i’ll never let anyone hurt you again.”
> it was a promise, one she clearly was committed to keeping. if there was ever any insecurity about your relationship with her in comparison to her relationship with romeo, it was forever gone. her eyes were burning with determination and your cheeks started to flush. jolyne must’ve noticed because she cooed about how cute you were before going in for another kiss.
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darthcontusion · 1 year
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ELF LAWYER DISPOSED OF.
THE RAMPAGE BEGINS.
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