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#johnlock incorrect
secondlastpsycho · 2 years
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incorrect quotes fuel me, it gives me everything i want and need in life, it cures me depression multiple times, its so much more accurate to the characters than the actual content, whoever's ever written one, may life give you everything you wish for, may your enemies perish, may you be worshipped in centuries to come, may your tales always be told in the light of glory for as long as time lasts
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John: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a.
Sherlock: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.
John: ...
John: Fuck you.
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whispersfrom221b · 8 months
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Sherlock: Are you sure you want to wear … this?
John: What's wrong with it? Those are my normal clothes.
Sherlock: Exactly.
John: We're just going to have dinner somewhere.
Sherlock: If that's how you talk to all of your dates, it's no wonder that you're still single.
John: Date?
Sherlock: Yes, John, date.
John: We're going on a … date. You and I. Did I miss something? When did we decide to go on a date?
Sherlock: You asked me not four hours ago if we want to have dinner at Angelo's today. I agreed and you said, and I quote, "Great. It's a date."
John: That's a phrase.
Sherlock: I should have known that after your hundreds of attempts to find a wife, agreeing on a date turned into a phrase to you. Stupid, Sherlock.
John: No, I mean it. It's actually a phrase. But we could, if you like. You know, make it a real date.
Sherlock: Is that another phrase?
John: No, that's me asking you out.
Sherlock: For romantic purposes?
John: That's the general idea behind dating.
Sherlock: Fine.
John: Good. That's… good. Great, actually. Just give me a second and I will change in something different.
Sherlock: No need, the first impression is already ruined.
John: Dating you is going to be fun.
Sherlock: Of course. Everything with me is fun.
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strangesthirdeye · 7 months
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Sherlock: *makes a deduction about the characteristics of the killer*
Y/n: *looks at Sherlock with a look of love*
Sherlock: *stops when he notices Y/n is silent* What are you doing?
Y/n: *with an expression of falling in love and a sweet smile* You're smart.. I love you.
Sherlock: *stopped responding and looked at Y/n with a blank expression*
John: *sighing* I think you broke him.
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adumpofdumbstuff · 2 months
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Because y’all liked my first one so much…
Greg: Is that a hickey?
Sherlock: What? No! It’s a mosquito bite!
John: Morning, Greg!
Greg: Morning, mosquito.
Edit: ok over 100 notes?? Thank you. Just a reminder I have a Johnlock fic here. Shame on me for advertising.
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sherlockcorner · 3 months
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Sherlock Holmes: *About to do something incredibly stupid* John Watson: I know I can't stop you, but I won't let you go by yourself.
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gregorovitch-adler · 1 year
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“You’re not hurt, Watson? For God’s sake, say that you are not hurt!”
It was worth a wound—it was worth many wounds—to know the depth of loyalty and love which lay behind that cold mask. The clear, hard eyes were dimmed for a moment, and the firm lips were shaking.
Translation-
Holmes (panicking) : Are you okay? You would have died, my dear Watson!
Watson(instead of focusing on his own wound and the trauma of almost getting shot) : Uh... I like your mouth.
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countfagulaa · 2 years
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Holmes: Let’s play 21 questions!
Watson: Alright. What’s your favorite book?
Holmes: Cocaine, do you like men?
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heradion · 15 days
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In most ships, the most common trope in fanfics is that one of them thinks 'I don't deserve you, you deserve better, i'm too broken' while the other one is like ' i've loved you for years , u have to be blind dumbass'
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John: We don't want any trouble
Sherlock, under his breath: I do
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secondlastpsycho · 9 months
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yes i know i like that trope bc of some deep psychological trauma crap i do not care it makes me happy why can’t you let me be happy please let me be happy i am depressed individual and i need the fictional characters to get away okay
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1895locktva · 8 months
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Watson: Holmes, did you eat my powdered donuts?
Holmes, mumbling with his mouth full: Certainly not.
Watson: Then what is that white powder on your jacket?
Holmes, panicking: Cocaine!
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whispersfrom221b · 1 year
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John: Thanks for ruining another relationship.
Sherlock: Did she end it?
John: Yeah, thanks to you.
Sherlock: Great.
John: Great? Do you have any idea how hard it is to date someone when your flatmate is constantly crashing your dates?
Sherlock: And do you have any idea how hard it is to date when the person you're trying to date is already in the next relationship barely a second after the previous one ended?
John: What do you mean?
Sherlock: You understood me perfectly well.
John: Wait. Where are you going?
Sherlock: Bart's, Molly has some interesting kidneys for me. Dinner at seven at Angelo's? Try to be single when you arrive.
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strangesthirdeye · 6 months
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Sherlock:*opens the body bag*
John: *shocked because he saw Y/n in a body bag with airpods in her ears*
also John: uhm.. Sherlock, shouldn't the clothes or items related to the corpse be separated?
Sherlock: *groan in frust* Y/n! How many times have I told you not to sleep in a body bag!
Y/n: *gets up and yawns while stretching her hands and cracking her spine* nice bed ever
John:...
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Sherlock: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.
John: That's great, Sherlock. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.
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