John Mulaney moved in next door and kept gifting me bugs (this was wonderful because I love bugs).
323 notes
·
View notes
you can't tell me that this John Mulaney quote isn't Bones @ Spock:
First off, get out of here with your facts. You’re like the kid at the sleepover who after midnight is like, “It’s tomorrow now!” Get the fuck out of here with your technicalities. Just ’cause you’re accurate does not mean you’re interesting. "That was fun when we watched Beetlejuice tonight." “Don’t you mean last night? It’s after midnight.” Why don’t you get your sleeping bag and GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!
18 notes
·
View notes
supernatural created an openly bi character?
8K notes
·
View notes
I was on RuPaul’s Drag Race and the first maxi challenge was to do stand-up comedy. John Mulaney was one of the contestants, and somehow he was the first one eliminated on the COMEDY challenge. That’s tough. John Mulaney, sashay away.
546 notes
·
View notes
Hazbin Hotel characters as John Mulaney quotes part 1:
(Part 2 3 4)
Alastor: I made a salad with craisins!
Charlie, about Vaggie: She and I have totally different styles. When my wife walks down the street, she does not give a shit what anyone thinks of her in any situation. She’s my hero. When I walk down the street, I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It’s exhausting. My wife said that walking around with me is like walking around with someone who’s running for mayor of nothing.
Lucifer: Also, I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her. That is not true. My wife is a bitch and I like her so much.
Vaggie: Shut up, you’re all gonna die. Street smarts!
Angel: I’ll keep all my emotions right here. And then one day I’ll die.
Niffty: Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you?
Husk: Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since 2014! I just all day long I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast.
Sir Pentious: Do my friends hate me or do I just need to go to sleep?
425 notes
·
View notes
Readers: when’s your next chapter coming out ??
Authors:
2K notes
·
View notes