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theyungrose · 3 years
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Chrysanthemums and Daisies (Roman Reigns/Jey Uso X OC)
Chapter 4: Dates and Daylight
Jey was beyond relieved when he received Roman’s “orders” not to follow him to Raw on Monday. Anything that didn’t involve his cousin these days were the only things he found peace doing. Even better, Daisy had been texting him all throughout the weekend and he’d been returning the attention ten fold. To say he was now just as infatuated with her as she was him would not be overstating it; they were even falling asleep on FaceTime together. They were two grown people with crushes like they were in high school, and it was the cutest thing you ever did see. 
All this talking brought about the idea for their first date; they were both fans of Buffalo Wild Wings before COVID shut everything down, and since they both had plans to watch Raw tonight, it only made sense to make a catering-size order of wings and watch it cuddled up on her couch. It was perfect under the circumstances of the still raging pandemic, and Jey would never pass up the opportunity to have his girl in his arms. 
They weren’t official yet, but there wasn’t a man breathing that could pull Daisy from his grasp. 
The two watched in a terrified amazement as Roman laid waste to the Irishmen he just had trouble beating the Sunday before. If Jey hadn’t known any better, he’d believe that Roman didn’t need him by his side at all. But Jey knew better, thanks to Daisy. She’d spilled to him that after the scene with him and Roman in the hallway, Roman had met up with Chyrsanthemum; the only logical reason why Roman put himself in this match.
Whatever heel Chrysanthemum had kicked up Roman’s ass must have been bugging him the entire weekend, because there was blood in his cousin’s eyes. Malice, hate, rage; emotions that had made themselves at home in the heart of the Chief.
“Wow... that was intense.”
Daisy was the first to speak once the bell rang and the match was over. She glanced over at Jey, but his eyes stayed glued to the TV, face devoid of any emotion. Uce would never admit this to anyone (mostly out of fear of being castrated) but everytime he saw his cousin’s arm get raised in the ring, holding up that Universal Championship, it made his blood boil. His fists would clench if no one was looking, and his stomach became heavy with disdain. Call him bitter, but it made Jey sick watching his cousin tote that title around. He didn’t deserve it. For the immoral actions and decisions he’s made to claim that championship, he didn’t deserve it.
“Hey Jey...are you okay?”
Daisy, still in the highest of moods as always, giggled at her little rhyme as she poked Jey on the shoulder. Almost immediately she retracted her finger when she felt the tenseness in his muscles, realizing he was indeed anything but okay.
“Talk to me please?”
Finally Jey huffed out a sigh of pure annoyance and took Daisy’s hand in his, assuring her that he wasn’t mad with her.
“It ain’t fair D. And I ain’t one to hate on the next man because he’s doing better, but this I just can’t take. The man walked in on a championship match, signed a contract and was just able to take the title just like that.”
Daisy nodded, squeezing his warm hand and resting it between her folded legs.
“And then he sees me trying to come up, trying to make a name for my family, and he threatens to kick me out like he runs shit. And then he chokes out my brother in front of me just to prove it. He ain’t never loved no one for real. Just himself and all the money in his pocket.”
After his spiel Jey went silent again, eyes focused back on the TV right as the post-replays ended. Daisy watched his angry features silently, and wondered what it would take for Jey to challenge his cousin again. She wondered if it could be her.
On the opposite side of the states, the tired champion waltzed back into the gorilla with his chest high and puffed to the ceiling, only to find that Chrysanthemum had disappeared. Not just from her position behind the monitor, but she’d vanished from the arena completely. He couldn’t find her anywhere backstage, she wasn’t doing any interviews, and soon Roman had to come to terms with the fact that she’d up and left sometime during his match.
Anger and annoyance set in as the Tribal Chief realized he’d just got played. Alone in his locker room, he couldn’t help feeling just the slightest bit stupid; everyone in their right mind had told him not to take this match tonight and his stubborn ego had allowed his boss to make a mockery of him, make him look like he needed this match. All these thoughts in his head nearly pushed him to snap, and he considered going to Twitter to address her publicly, but after taking too long to think about it he decided not to.
After all, Roman knew that all this anger really stemmed from disappointment. He hadn’t taken this match to actually prove to her that Drew was nowhere near matched for him, he knew that already. Roman had taken this match simply because she’d asked him too. Those full pink lips and butter voice could’ve asked him anything and he would’ve nodded in agreement. He was completely sprung for his boss, and it scared him a little knowing she might just know that too.
That next morning however, he did find her. Sitting at the far end of the breakfast suite at their hotel, he might say dreamingly looking out the large windows as carved into a bowl of oatmeal and berries. He simply couldn’t resist.
“Good morning boss lady.”
Chrysanthemum grinned but didn’t avert her gaze from the window, she knew he’d find her, she’d counted on it actually. She was too proud to do it herself, and jetting on him after his match would’ve given him the perfect reason.
“Champ...good morning. You’re welcome to join me if you’re here alone.”
The small butterflies in his stomach did not go unnoticed to the Chief as she pushed out the opposite chair with her foot, her brown eyes finally meeting his as they glazed in the sunlight.
“Will you ever refer to me as Tribal Chief? It’s kinda my new moniker now if you haven’t noticed.”
Roman returned to her circled table with a breakfast way bigger than hers, Chrysanthemum noted this and giggled to herself. A big man had to eat, but damn. She could only imagine what he could do with all that energy in the morning.
“Yes, I’ve noticed. Let’s start by calling me my real name first though Roman.”
A rosy blush creeped into his caramel cheeks, he had to pull his gaze away from hers for a moment as he admitted,
“I’m not really sure how to say it.”
If at any moment in time Chrysanthemum had felt herself falling for Roman, even a teensy little bit, this was the first occurrence. She felt her entire body soften, following the actions of her heart, and she couldn’t help but look at him and smile.
See it wasn’t money that got to Chrysanthemum, she had that already. It wasn’t fame, cars, houses; she had all that too. It was humility that really had the magic touch of her heart, and seeing a man dare say as cocky as Roman become shy because he couldn’t pronounce a name, her name, gave her that little buzzing feeling.
She hadn’t felt that in a while.
“Have you seen a Chrysanthemum before?”
Roman shook his head no. Chrysanthemum nearly took out her phone and showed him, but she thought against it. A better idea sprung into her head, and if Roman was the man she believed he could be, she’d show it to him one day.
“Well they’re the most prettiest flowers, they have hundreds of petals and if you’re the right type of person, you’ll notice them as soon as you see them.
In his head, Roman hoped he was the right type of person.
Midway though their breakfast a fan stopped by Roman to take a picture, and before he left he congratulated him on defeating Drew McIntyre last night. Once the fan left Roman shot a playful glare towards his boss, not averting his gaze until she was forced to look up from her phone and acknowledged him.
“Well?”
Chrysanthemum feigned confusion.
“Well what?”
“Did you not like what you saw last night?”
Chrysanthemum leaned over onto her folded arms, a half smile on her lips let him now she wasn’t angry, but her face let him know she was serious.
“I loved what I saw from you last night, but I won’t congratulate you for it because it wasn’t a test, it was punishment.”
Roman’s eyebrow arched, slightly taken aback by her confession. All the playfulness had dropped from his features too.
“What you did to Drew last night, I knew you could do. You knew you could do. I didn’t need to see you rip Drew apart to know you were better than him, that’s why you’re on my show. However, you did Smackdown a great disservice with how you handled him at Survivor Series. I can live with my entire roster losing, it means they were bested by the competition. But, when you have to cheat in order to beat them, that means the competition is better than you.”
Chrysanthemum leaned in even closer, wary of the people who might be listening. Her intentions were not to embarrass him, but to teach her champ a i lesson.
“I don’t care what you do on Smackdown; your cousin, Heyman, you do what you need to stay on top ‘til Wrestlemania, because you will be Smackdown’s champion going into Wrestlemania. But if you ever embarrass yourself or me in front of that B-list show again, it will be the last thing you do as champion. You follow?”
Roman was shocked. Floored even. Only his mother had ever been able to put him in his place like this before, and even that lessened after a certain age. What scared him a little, is Chrysanthemum never flinched, never stuttered, and her eyes never left his. She was 1000% percent serious, and there wasn’t a single comeback Roman could think of that could possibly one-up hers.
Mostly because she was absolutely right.
Then suddenly, her body visibly softened again. The firmness erased itself from her gorgeous features, her chest fell, and her half smile grew into a full one. She probably didn’t feel it, but all 265 pounds of the Samoan jumped when her palm rested calmly on his forearm. It felt like electricity was spreading from her touch and he prayed she felt it too. With her eyes now kind and gentle, she spoke again.
“I promise I’m on your team okay? I believe in you just like I do everyone on my roster. Of all the shit talk and strife I get from everyone else, I hope you’re the one that understands.”
That small ounce of vulnerability did wonders for Roman. It felt like he was peering into her soul, and he could tell it was not something she allowed often if at all. It made the Samoan feel...special. Special to her, and that was at least a start.
The same electricity Roman felt seconds ago raced through Chrysanthemum now as his larger hand covered hers. His full lips curving up into a smile made her swoon secretly, and she hoped her blushing wasn’t too obvious.
“I see you crystal clear baby girl.
Roman’s blood ran cold in a split second as the last part slipped out; but Chrysanthemum didn’t mind. It was unprofessional yes, but the way it made her feel trumped professionalism right now.
“If you would like, you can call me Chrysa. That’s strictly a family and close friend nickname, so don’t use it in public. Especially at work. Stick to boss lady.”
Roman smirked, secretly hoping “don’t use it in public” meant they’d be meeting in private. If humility is what charmed her, then her vulnerability no doubt attracted him. Even though it came in bits and pieces.
“Much obliged... boss lady.”
Chrysanthemum grinned picking up her cup of coffee as she looked at him.
“See that was a test.”
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theyungrose · 3 years
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Mistress (Joe Anoa’i X OC)
Chapter 1
Now before you all start calling me homewrecker this and clout-chasing hoe that, you should know that started off innocent... at least at the very beginning. It was never about ruining a happy home or trying to sleep my way to a championship, even though that’s ultimately how all this will be portrayed. 
The least I can do is sleep well at night knowing what I did and didn’t do. And the least you all could do is hear out the real story, not the exaggerated bullshit they spread on Twitter. 
It’s actually a pretty good story. 
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Pictured Above: Me (said mistress) Inez Banks 
Being snowed in at a hotel could either be the worst travelling experience ever, or the perfect call out excuse; it all depends on how you cut it. It was Thursday night, meaning I should be in Syracuse; as should the rest of the roster.
Where were we instead? Snowed in to the Marriott hotel 35 miles away. Or at least I was, everyone’s travelling agent is different. I’m barely a superstar though, so I basically did this to myself. 
Either way, I wasn’t mad at it. At all. I’d already worked out earlier that morning, showered and did my makeup to leave at 4pm just as the snow was starting; and then I got the call from Stephanie. It was like when your school pops up on the news as closed for a snow day. 
Child, when I tell you I put on my sweats and tank top so fast. 
Now, it was 9pm, and it suddenly occurred to me that the hotel bar downstairs just might be open. What, you thought I was going to get blessed by this sudden off day and not get tipsy? 
Walking in, the lights were low and warm like a cafe, and they played soft radio music from a speaker in the corner. I took my seat at an empty booth and waited for a waiter to come. 
“How can I help you tonight miss?”
I was so busy scrolling through Twitter that I didn’t realize the waiter that came by my table, but when I looked up, it wasn’t his eyes that I caught. 
Instead it was the medium brown pair watching me from the bar. They were just like mine, yet it was like I’d never seen eyes like his before. It was like being caught in headlights but not out of fear, just sheer intrigue. 
“Ma’am?”
The slight impatience in my waiter’s tone snapped me back to reality, I hadn’t even realized I was staring. 
“Hi... yeah sorry. Do you have Chateau Rosé?” 
“Would you like a glass or a bottle.” 
I couldn’t help myself. My eyes looked past the waiter again to find the same pair still staring from across the restaurant, as if they had never moved. 
“...the bottle.” 
I grinned softly, now finding myself completely enthralled in this stranger, who actually wasn’t that much of a stranger. Only a stranger to me because, before this moment, I’d never met him in person or seen him in passing.
Remember, I’m barely a superstar. Just a dark match competitor from NXT that occasionally shows face on live events. 
That’s when he stood up. Whiskey glass in hand, he rose from his stool and started making his way over to me. I was too awkward to stare him in his face as he approached so I looked down at my phone until he was in close enough proximity. 
“Can I join you?”
Even his voice could sell porn. 
“Sure there ain’t no one else sitting there.” 
He smirked sliding in the booth seat across from me just as the waiter returned with my bottle.
“Should I bring another cup?”
“Yes.”
“Yes.” 
Yes, we said it at the exact same time. If that’s not the cutest, corniest, cliche shit I’ve ever heard then I don’t want to hear what is. The waiter even chuckled a bit as he left to the back.
“My name’s...”
“Amara. I know.” 
The shock had to be written all over my face as I looked back at him. His smirk grew wider as he toyed with the rim of my glass, eyes still intensely on me.
“Yeah... my real name’s Inez. How did you know my stage name though?”
“I’ve seen you before. A couple times actually. You’ve just never seen me see you.” 
Immediately, I got wet. Have I really had this sex God in mortal man’s clothing on my body all this time and not realized it? Am I blind? 
“I’m Joseph, I prefer Joe way more though. Please don’t call me Joseph.”
It was so cute how he introduced himself as if I-- (A.) didn’t already know who he was, and (B.) wasn’t already borderline obsessed with him. As is every other woman that has seen him.
Including the one reading this story. 
“Okay Joe, you can just call me Inez. You can’t make many nicknames out of that ‘cuz it’s only four letters, its kinda boring.”
“I don’t think so... it’s cute actually. Unique.” 
Were his eyes this intense when he talked to everyone else or was it just me? It felt like I was melting under his gaze, and in the best way possible. 
“Crazy about the storm right? I got in from the gym right as it was starting, but I didn’t think it would be this bad.”
I nodded, watching the snow continue to fall through the wall-length windows across from us. 
“Me either, but it’s so pretty... and these hotel beds are hella comfortable so I’m not the slightest bit annoyed.”
Joe’s eyes were watching me over the rim of his wine glass as I looked back at him; I really couldn’t look this man in his face when his eyes were on me. It felt like I was smiling so hard I looked stupid. 
“Have you been here long? It looks pretty empty.”
“It was until I came in about an hour ago. I was actually about to leave but then... the prettiest female walked in.” 
Woosh. 
Use context clues to figure out what that sound means. I actually had to shift in my seat just to maintain my composure. If you put me next to a red crayon right now I swear you couldn’t tell the difference. 
“And it was perfect timing too. I was so bored I actually considered driving to another city to see my friend.” 
This time I smirked, now slightly more relaxed as I moved to my second glass of rose. 
“Well your welcome for saving you a very cold and lonely night in your car.”
For the first time since meeting him I heard him laugh, and I was convinced that I would dedicate the rest of my life doing anything to hear that sound again. 
“Much obliged princess.” 
I couldn’t tell if he was saying that to flirt or if he was alluding to my ring name “Princess” Amara, so I just took it both ways. (wink wink.) 
One hour stretched to two, then two reached out to three, and before either of us actually realized it was 12:15 the next morning and we were halfway through another bottle of Chateau. 
“Sorry guys I’ve stretched my boss out long enough, he’s ready to close up for the night. You guys are welcome to take the bottle with you though.” 
We both smiled at the waiter, he was the real MVP of the night. Joe paid for the second bottle and tipped him generously, then with his elbow locked around mine we sauntered our way slowly to the elevators. To anyone else this might’ve looked like a romantic gesture; and while it was really cute, Joe had already been drinking and the wine was starting to beat me already, so I knew it was beating him too. 
“What floor is your room on?” 
“One.... one plus five.”
I held up the numbers on my hands to show him, and he stared at them for a second.
“So six?” 
“No goofy, that equals fifteen!” 
It was a good thing we were on an elevator as loud as we were being.
“That’s not how math works sweet pea.” 
We both had rooms on the top floor, and admittedly, sobriety kicked in a bit when I realized this meant I had to leave him. 
“Do you know how to play cards?”
Midway down the hallway towards my room Joe’s sudden question stopped me in my tracks. I turned around to see him a couple of steps behind me.
“Yeah... yeah I know how to play cards.” 
At that response Joe quickly closed the space between us, so close that I had to tilt my head up so I could see his face. 
“Do you want to?” 
And I was back to melting under his gaze again. This time there was no hesitation. 
“Yes.”
Joe’s lips spread into a grin that covered his whole face, and I felt his hand reach down to gently grab mine. They were rough yet warm as he led me away from my door and in the opposite direction.
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theyungrose · 3 years
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Mistress {Joe Anoa’i X OC}
She sat across from me; red face and fuming, her fingers clutched the champagne glass so hard it nearly shattered in her grasp. It was too fun not to antagonize her; with all her entitlement that she clung desperately to in order to hide her shallow insecurity, it was easy enough to be a pass time. 
And after a nasty dig like that, how was I to resist?
“...do you like how I take your husband and give him back to you?” 
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I hope you guys don’t mind me tagging you guys, I just want to get this book off the ground and I really enjoy you guys work. 
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theyungrose · 4 years
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Be Good ( Roman Reigns X OC)
Chapter 3 
Spite.
I had reverted to tearing our pictures down from the walls, my sanity reduced to screams in the dead of night. I cursed his name to the heavens and back, wished the worst of events, and yet I still didn’t feel any better. 
I was broken.
Never in my life had I felt such pain, 24 hours in a day. I woke up in the morning and felt nothing in my soul, no happiness, no purpose, no love. I moved through the day lifelessly; of course he hadn’t thought anything of telling our close friends and his family that we were breaking our engagement, leaving me to answer all the questions they only ever save for the girlfriend. 
Yes, I was okay.
(No I wasn’t.)
It was mutual, we just kinda fell apart I guess.
(Really?) 
And then they say “Well I bet he misses you just as much as you miss him right now.” 
I sincerely doubt that. 
Anger. Rage. 
Questions. 
How could he do this to me? 
To us? 
What, you court me for nearly a year and a half; not counting the two years we were friends. I met your mother, your father who never meets “any of the girls you bring around”; his words not mine. We traveled everywhere together, we bought each other things we hadn’t even bought for ourselves first. When my brother died, when you got sick, when there was no one else in the world for us to count on, you told me we had each other. Always. For what? For you to wake up one day, turn on your side and decide you don’t want to be with me anymore? That it just wasn’t going to work?  
For a month your child lived inside my stomach. 
Does that not matter to you? 
Emptiness. 
What was I to do with my life now? The past two years were the best of my life, and now I was expected just move along as if they never existed. As if we never existed. 
That’s enough to drive any woman mad. 
I had to get away. 
The cold Denver air greeted me warmly as I stepped through the sliding doors of the airport into its little snow flurries. It was nostalgic for a second, until a loud car horn ripped me from my thoughts. Stepping out from her gray minivan was my childhood friend, Lauren. You could tell she didn’t like the cold from the way she kept the driver’s door open and stayed close to it, clutching her hoodie tight around her arms. 
Oh yeah and she said this.
“Girl get in this car I’m losing heat ‘cuz of you!” 
I snickered rushing over to her ride with my suitcases rolling loudly behind me.
“Daydreaming and shit.... aye aye aye what’s all this?”
Lauren motioned to my stuff with a certain... well stank, look on her face. 
“I ain’t say you could stay with me.” 
I was getting too cold to respond to her, and being that I was putting the bags in the trunk by myself, I chose to ignore her for the time being. 
“Relax creature I bought myself a hotel for the night, that’s where you’re driving me first before you drag me to that barn you live in.” 
Lauren scoffed and slammed the trunk closed, nearly cutting off my fingers in the process.
“Whatever hoe, I ain’t miss ya ass anyways.” 
The ride through the city was much calmer; we talked as actual friends do about her life down here, old memories, bullies who got fat, shy girls who have babies, and all the other drama I’d missed out on. Thankfully, she didn’t seem too interested of why I had suddenly left my dream and sunny Florida weather to come back to Denver, but I had a feeling somehow she already knew. 
“Aaliyah... you sure this is your hotel girl?”
“What you mean?” 
“It’s $50 valet parking child! The Marriott don’t got them prices.” 
I laughed motioning for her to pull into the grandeur driveway where a valet man was waiting. 
“Do you need help bringing your stuff in?”
“No I think I’m fine it’s only two suitcases.” 
The valet went to speak but Lauren poked my arm roughly to get my attention first.
“Girl for $50 you better tell that man to bring in your bags on his head.” 
“Lauren stop being extra. I don’t need him to help me, just bring the car around to the street so you don’t have to pay the $55 sitting fee.” 
*******
Lauren’s family greeted me with hugs, hospitality, and a beautifully home-cooked dinner; and when everyone went up to their rooms to sleep, Lauren blessed me with a much needed guilty indulgence. 
If you never forget how to ride a bicycle, then you never forget how to smoke weed either.
“Are you freezing yet?” 
I watched her through the large puff of smoke I exhaled, giggling to herself near the corner. I snickered too and shook my head, motioning for her to take the blunt from me. Our hands sparked electricity when they touched and we both laughed so loud someone upstairs turned on their light. 
“Oh, my mom and my sister said you’re really pretty.”
My cheeks were flushed red as I leaned my head back against the fence. The weed had me lost in the galaxy of stars above me, so far yet they seemed so close. It felt like my eyes were stars themselves.
“Awwe, tell her I said thank you... and thank your whole family for being so nice to me. Oh and tell them they cooking is the bomb...” 
Lauren was almost red herself with laughter as she passed the blunt back to me. It was so nice to know that she had a pretty smile, I never saw her smile once when we were kids. Always... serious. 
“You know... I wasn’t going to say anything but... I really expected you to ask bro.”
Lauren looked up from her phone completely clueless. A face of total innocence and hopeless oblivion. 
“Ask you what?” 
“About why I came to visit you... you know all of a sudden? I was with my fiancee and we broke off our engagement last week and I thought you would ask me about it.. but I guess you didn’t know.”
“No I knew.” 
I scoffed shaking my head as I crushed the dead paper into the grass.
“And you didn’t ask?”
Lauren shook her head as she stood up and walked towards the cooler sitting a few feet away from us. 
“It’s not my business to ask. I knew about your break up with Roman Reigns, I watch y’all wrestle together on Monday Night Raw; that’s the only reason my mom let a stranger come up in here because I told her you were famous.” 
She sat down beside me on the grass and placed a water bottle between my feet. 
“But despite all that, what happened between you and your man is none of my business to ask. For all I care you came up here because you suddenly missed my face.” 
I looked at her completely shocked. Dumbfounded. Amazed at this woman that was so conscious and compassionate of someone else’s struggles and privacy, it was so well-mannered it almost felt misplaced. So foregone from the values of this current society. 
“Well do you want to know? Like what happened? For the first time I actually don’t mind telling it.” 
“I only want to hear what matters.”
“Okay and which one is that, if I’m okay or if he took all his money with him?”
“Nope. What I want to know, is what are you going to do now?”
For a moment I kept my eyes trained on her shoulder; not thinking, just frozen in existence. Tears fell from my eyes unintentionally, but still I couldn’t speak. 
To answer that question would force me to swallow the harsh truth that this was reality; one I still hadn’t come to terms with. 
“You don’t know do you?” 
Without answering I just shook my head, and as her arms began to spread I fell weightlessly into her chest. A fit of emotion overtook me as I sobbed and trembled in her embrace, pain pierced my heart like needles yet somehow I felt comforted. It was the first time I hadn’t cried by myself in weeks. 
“It’s okay Aaliyah... it’s okay. I’m here for you love.” 
“He just left me.... left me like I was nothing. I feel so ugly. I feel worthless, like trash. I just want to know what I did wrong Lauren... what did I do that was so wrong, so terrible that one day he woke up and didn’t want me anymore? Where did all that love go? When did he stop loving me? Why did he stop loving me?”
Lauren’s arms held me a little tighter, and slowly she began to rock back and forth, like a mother would soothe the cries of her baby. 
“...What’s wrong with me?”
I felt warm supple skin touch my forehead and rest there for a while before they were replaced with her cheek. Never did I feel so comforted in the arms of another woman, she was so warm and soft. 
“There’s nothing wrong with you friend. People fall apart sometimes is the reality of it really... we never know the reason for half the things people do. I can’t imagine the pain you’re in, but Aaliyah I promise this won’t beat you. You’re stronger than this. This is just another storm.”
I sighed, hiding my face further into her chest. 
“Can I stay here the-”
“You can stay here for as long as you need to sweet pea. You’ll have a home here until your wings are no longer broken... and you’re ready to fly.”
Through my tears I found a small smile, finally returning her embrace as I wrapped my arms around her waist. Again she kissed the top of my forehead gently and sighed.
“Now let’s roll up another one.” 
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Lauren Riley 
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theyungrose · 4 years
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Be Good (Roman X OC Short Story)
Chapter 2 
You ever had one of those cries? Yeah, one of those. The ones that make your head pound and make your nose stuffy, the ones you have to take a break from and focus on deep breaths because it feels like your chest is caving in. 
You cry sitting up, you cry laying down. You cry on your way to the store, you cry on your way home.
And there isn’t a single thing you can do without thinking about him. 
I attempted packing up my things for the third time this week, but each time I came back to it, it felt like I got weaker. Like facing this truth grew into a bigger monster each time I revisited it, and I was getting smaller and less powerful. 
I fell down next to my open suitcase knees first on the forgiving carpet, carefully folding up jeans and button ups, stashing heels and sneakers in the spaces in between. The tears were uncontrollable, maybe once or twice I’d crack a smile at a funny ad or a meme that popped up on my Instagram, but after that fleeting moment it was back to Alessia Cara and sobbing. 
Somewhere in the midst of all that, the front door opened with a long beeeep, followed by heavy footsteps that I didn’t hear until they were right behind me. 
“Aaliyah..?” 
There was no way to wipe all these tears quick enough for him not to see, and even then he probably heard me coming up the stairs. 
I’d probably just burst into tears looking him in his face anyways. 
“Aaliyah I’m sorry I should’ve told you.” 
Roman’s warm hand jolted the entire left side of my body when he placed it on my bare shoulder, he was knelt down behind me now, heavy chin resting at the crown of my head. I couldn’t find the words to speak so I just continued folding, biting back sobs so the tears could fall silently down the front of my face. 
His free hand stopped mine, tearing the shirt away and tossing it across the room.
“Why did you do that ?” 
“Because you’re not leaving... I am.” 
He released a deep sigh, still covering my hand with his he led them down gently to rest on my thigh.
“I want you to keep everything Aaliyah, the house, the beds, the goddamn cable, everything is yours. Keep it.”
I choked on a sob trying to speak.
“W-why do you want me to stay here? It’s your house you keep it.”
“It was...our house.” 
Was. Am I sensing a twinge of regret in that tone of voice? 
“Roman how can you expect me to stay here? Walk these halls, eat at that...table, sleep in our bed?”
There was no need to hide that I was in total pieces anymore, and turning around to face him I felt my heart flutter then sink in one passing moment. 
“How do you expect me to live here alone? Without you?” 
 Roman tugged his lips to the side of his face and stayed silent, looking down at the soft carpeting between us. His lack of emotion and response agitated me.
“So you just get to up and leave everything behind and I’m stuck with the baggage and the burdens right? That’s fair to you?” 
“I don’t want you to be out.”
“And instead I lie in your spot of the bed and try to sleep? Or leave it empty and let the sheets grow cold in just that spot? Might as well keep the pictures up too, and try not to rem-” 
The last of my sentence got cut off by a sob I was trying so hard to hold back, at least until the end of my rant. Roman’s frown drooped even lower seeing this, and he reached out his hands to try and hold my shoulders again.
“Peaches I-”
“No, no listen to me. I’ll keep the pictures up and force myself to forget smiling that hard or laughing that loud or how warm your hand felt when it was holding mine, or how it feels to be in your arms.”
I was crying so hard I was shaking at this point, and again I had to take a break and focus on breathing so my chest wouldn’t cave in.
“Baby...”
“No I’m not done! What happens when your friends come? Or my friends come? They’ll look at me and ask what went wrong, why we didn’t try harder, and how I can live everyday walking in and out of a broken memory. And when the ones that don’t live close call asking for you, tell me how I’m supposed to respond?” 
“I-”
“Should I keep your half of the leftovers in the fridge for you? Or your favorite beer that I only buy to see the look on your face? Who dries the dishes when I wash them now? Who mops when I sweep? Who chooses whether we watch sports or... Scandal?”
My heart was burning in my chest with every word I spoke, and with his hair pulled back I could see the tears welling up in Roman’s eyes, threatening to spill at the slightest blink. I couldn’t hold myself back anymore; I threw my arms around his abdomen and let my head fall into his chest, staining his grey cotton with wet spots.
“You’re leaving and you’re asking me to stay.” 
A drop of water greeted my bare shoulder, followed by two more, then another one after. His strong arms cradled my shivering frame, and for a second, it felt like everything might have been okay. As if this was just a tiny fight, a tiff even, and now we were both crying, and the only thing left was to kiss and make-up. 
Oh how I wish the dreams of my mind were the reality I lived in. 
“I’m so sorry Aaliyah. I wish things were different, I really do.”
There goes kissing and making up. Quicker than I think he expected, I broke myself away from his embrace and used my palms to wipe my tears and my nose, good thing I wasn’t wearing makeup.
“If you want me to keep the house fine I don’t care, just please take your clothes... and we can take down all the pictures together. I want to strip this place to the bones.”
Roman nodded silently, now wiping his own tears.
“I uh... I wanted to talk to you about something.” 
Well we both know it won’t be a pitch to get back together and have steamy make-up sex while it pours outside. A girl can only dream. 
“What is it?” 
Roman sniffled, taking a pause I assume to put his words gently and in the correct order. 
“I just wanted to say... that since we work together and stuff...if you’re going to talk to other people...or-or see other people.” 
Is that really where his head was at? Here I was, crying so hard that my face was turning red even under this brown complexion, I just told him how empty my life would be without him, and he’s worried about me sleeping with another guy? 
I couldn’t believe my ears. 
“I’m not going to talk to anyone else.” 
I didn’t even look at him saying that, shattered at the fact that he believed that anyone could ever be after him. I wouldn’t even have a heart to give. 
“Okay... I’m not planning on talking to anyone either. I just want- even though we’re broken up now... I want us to still be good to each other. I hate seeing you cry, and I don’t want to be the reason...” 
Roman trailed off once he realized what he was saying and his arms wrapped around me once more, pulling me into his chest. This embrace was cold though, rigid; I couldn’t allow myself to revel in his warmth or his scent. All of this meant nothing now, we were broken up. Over.
There was no comfort in his touch. No love in his smile. No future in his eyes. It was no use allowing myself to feel those things anymore, because soon he would get up off this carpet, pack up his clothes, and leave.
And the only thing I’d have here to comfort me is a catalyst and these chest-heaving cries. 
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