Tumgik
#joe’s tiny butt
tigertales9 · 5 months
Text
Hard Reset VI Sneak Peek 👀
I'm still putting the finishing touches on the next Hard Reset chapter (bye week secret wedding/honeymoon), but I thought I'd offer a tiny sneak peek. Real life & a touch of writer's block are kicking my butt, but I hope to get the full chapter up soon. 🤞
Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader
Warnings: 18+ / Smut ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Monday, 10/16/23 (the morning after the week 6 win against the Seahawks)
You moan at the feel of gentle pressure against your clit, your eyes fluttering open at the sound of Joe's husky voice in your ear.
"You awake?"
"I am now," you whisper, biting your lip as he rubs your sensitive bud while pressing wet kisses against your neck.
"I woke up thinking about last night and it made me horny," he admits as he continues to tease you.
"Mmmm," you hum, your mind rewinding to last night …
~ ~ ~
He'd made liberal use of the whipped cream, frosting your nipples with the sweet whip several times then licking and sucking it off while you squirmed underneath him; he finally made his way down your body, taking his time to frost your belly button and inner thighs, leaving love bites in sensitive places as you buried a hand in his hair and begged for more. You remember the look on his face when he tossed the can of cream aside, his eyes icy-hot with arousal. "I'm not gonna put any whipped cream here," he moaned, lapping at your wet folds, "because you already taste perfect."
~ ~ ~
The feel of one long finger sliding inside your slick heat brings you back to the present. "Last night was really hot," you sigh, a shiver running through you as he sucks a nipple while slowly pumping his finger in and out. "I'm still kinda sticky since I crashed before taking a shower," you mutter.
"Let me make you stickier then we can shower together," he coaxes, crawling on top of you and giving you a dirty grin when your thighs instinctively spread wide to accommodate his big body. "Okay?" he asks, pressing the tip of his erection against your entrance, holding still until you answer.
"Yes, sir," you breathe, arching up when he slides his shaft inside you and immediately starts thrusting, slow at first and then faster. You dig your fingers into his plump ass, a thrill running through you at the feel of his muscles tensing and reloading as he drives his hips forward again and again, still holding back a little until you're ready to take all of him. A delicious coil of tension builds in your core at the noise he makes low in his throat when you beg him to fuck you hard.
~ ~ ~
An hour and a half later -- after a couple of orgasms, a shared shower and a quick breakfast -- Joe slides the last dish in the dishwasher and wraps his hands around your waist as you place a jar of raspberry jam in the fridge. He drops a kiss on your lips as you pivot and look up at him. "I'll be home by noon," he promises. "Then we can finish packing for the lake."
"I'm already packed," you chuckle. "We're going for three nights not three weeks."
"Well, I still have a few things to pack," he states. "This whole thing was my idea and I just wanna make sure I get it right."
You rise up on your tiptoes and press a kiss on his lips. "They have pretty much everything we need already there," you soothe, ruffling a hand through his hair while giving him a warm smile. "Clothes, toiletries and groceries are the main things we need to take, and we'll buy most of the groceries once we get there."
He returns your smile as he takes a deep breath. "Are you excited we're getting married tomorrow?" he asks.
"Yeah, I am. What about you?"
"Yeah, I can't wait." He leans down and presses a lingering kiss on your lips, holding eye contact as he leans back. "It feels like we've been heading for this since I first laid eyes on you."
196 notes · View notes
choke-me-eddie · 1 year
Note
what are your thoughts on joe/eddie eating ass or doing anal 🤭
i’m not incriminating myself for thinking this utter filth rn 🥴
SKSKSKSKSKSKS THANK YOU
MINORS FUCK OFF COS THIS IS FILTH
Okay okay okay so Joe I feel like would try it, be into it but he wouldn't do it all the time, like he'd have to be super fucking horny and just wanna devour ALL of you. Anal is for special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries or Fridays.
Now, Eddie.
Eddie would do it without even being asked. Like he's going to TOWN on you whilst he's eating you out, if his mouth isn't on your ass he's got a couple fingers in there for sure because he LOVES the way you get so fucking tight for him and cum extra hard, maybe even squirt a little for him and he laps that shit UP. Eddie eats you for his own pleasure, he could care less about whether he gets his dick wet or not, cos he's humping the bed and probably coming in his pants when you release all over his face.
And you're just as filthy as he is, begging for him to fuck you in the ass in the back of his van after a Corroded Coffin show like a desperate groupie. You're wearing a skirt that Eddie fucking loves, and you bend over to reveal a tiny little thong and a shiny butt plug that's sitting snug in your asshole, doing all the prep work for him. You tell him you've had it in all fucking day and he just goes feral, fucking you raw and breeding your tight little hole until you're sobbing in ecstasy, your release practically pooling around your knees where he's made your squirt all over yourself.
....
I need a lie down.
225 notes · View notes
stevenrogered · 2 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
When I was a baby, I actually crawled backwards. You know, I’d push with my hands like this. Beep. Beep. Always in reverse, you know? Come on, it makes sense. You push to move, right? Well, it did to my tiny Harrington brain. That is, until I reversed my baby butt down a flight of stairs and thumped my head really good.
I think, like, right out of the gate, like, I’m super confident. But I’m also, like, an idiot. Which is just…I mean, it’s a brutal combination. But, I mean, the good news is, I get a big enough thump on my head, I can change, you know? I can learn. I can crawl forward.
JOE KEERY as STEVE HARRINGTON Stranger Things Season 4 Volume 2
732 notes · View notes
ficsbypix · 8 months
Text
just a little drabble set in the queen of disaster universe.
“We should actually move,” you mumble into Joe’s shoulder where your head firmly lays. Today had been a little bit unexpected, Isolde’s at nursery for the day and you’d expected to be home by yourself for the majority of the day and you’d had plans.
First, you had to tidy the house, it had been a busy weekend and you hadn’t spent much time in the house because you’d been here, there and everywhere but when you had been home, Hurricane Isolde had managed to get out every toy and had in general trashed every room she’d been in.
Then you’d been sent a couple of new scripts to go through and read, so you’d planned to settle in on your sofa for the afternoon with a bottle of water and go through them with the plan to get back to your agent by the end of the week with any interest that you had.
That had all gone out the door when you’d finished tidying the house and were fresh out of the shower and ready to knuckle down and get on with some real work, when naturally someone had knocked on your door.
And naturally, it had been a sheepish looking Joe at a loose end because he had an unexpected day off at the play he was working on and so he’d come over to see what you were up to because he needed to find something to do and so your work day was ruined and you’d spent the rest of the day cuddled up with him on the sofa binging a Netflix show.
Until now when you’d noticed the time and realised that actually, you needed to get your butt up off the sofa and go and pick up Isolde from nursery. You put your hand on his leg and use it to push yourself up and he grunts out when you do. “Do we have to move?” he whines. “I was comfortable.”
“I’ve gotta go pick Iso up,” you tell him, grabbing your keys. “You can come with me if you want.”
Well, as soon as you say that he’s up like a shot.
Isolde’s nursery is a colourful place, with Disney characters all over the walls -- though you don’t think they’ve been put on their legally -- and small surfaces perfect for little kids. It’s clean and tidy and she likes coming here on her days and you’re happy it makes her feel safe and comfortable.
There’s a big, see-through pane of glass -- is it still a window when it’s inside? -- on her door and so when you sign yourself and Joe in to come and grab her, you can see what's going on inside and you want to laugh.
You’re never really late, you’re always here to pick her up on time and if you not, then Janine or her husband comes and grabs her for you, so they always make sure she’s ready for pick up time. And so she’s ready, she’s got her coat on and her little shoes, her bag is next to her with her lunch bag and she’s sitting in the reading corner.
Where she’s reading a book that’s definitely something to do with oceans.
And by reading, you mean looking at the pictures.
She’s holding it upside down.
One of the staff catches your eye and gives you a small smile and a wave, heading over to Isolde and whispering in her ear. Isolde’s eyes look up at the door and find yours and your girl breaks into a big smile and she jumps up, book falling to the ground as she grabs her stuff and comes to the door.
You stand back, crouch down, ready for your girl to come running into your arms and give you a big hug, tell you all about her day and maybe give you a little kiss on the cheek too. She comes running out, thrusts her bags at you.
And then she runs past you.
“Osef!” she squeals, jumping into your boyfriends arms.
That tiny traitor.
You stand up, watching as your boyfriend holds her on his hip, her little hands clutching onto him as she tells him all about what Alex said and what she learned and the thing that the teacher did. He listens intently to every word, brushing her hair out of her face and conversing with her.
It makes your hurt both hurt and soar at the same time.
He catches your eye and he must see the expression on your face.
Because he grins.
And it’s an evil grin.
“Come on Iso,” he says, pressing a kiss to her head. “Osef will carry you back to the car. Mama’s got your bags.”
49 notes · View notes
preyandhunter · 3 months
Text
Flesh and Blood [The Masterlist]
Hey hi howdy.
here's a list of absolutely everyone ever that is going to be taking part in this story
[warning. looooong post ahead]
For reference:
Ghouls are ranked C - SS: C is the lowest, SS is borderline godlike.
Doves (not canon to tg) are ranked Tier's 1 - 4: 1 is the lowest, 4 is virtually unstoppable.
Tumblr media
Disclaimer: we will not be using the hermits'/others' irl names. decided if it was funnier to make fake names for all of them based on usernames.
(in the actual story we will be using the names in quotation marks lol)
Buford "Bdubs" O'Hunred [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Machete Quinque - Wears a ghillie suit and thinks it looks cool
Bos "Beef" Vintage [Ghoul :: B Class - "The Butcher" Kokaku: Horns + Six legged Bull Kakuja - Dude wash your apron
Ben "Bigb" Biggie [Ghoul] :: B Class - "The Frog" Triple orange rinkaku tails - Teenage Mutant Ninja . . . froggie grown man!
Cub Goodfan [Ghoul] :: C Class - "The Magician" Ukaku vex wings - Of the two of them, really you'd think this one would be the crazy one
Cleo Zombie [Ghoul] :: A Class - "The Gorgon" Tiny wings + six snake tails - Her name could have led to some good brand opportunities
Dr. Maddox Sevensven "Doc" [Ghoul] :: A Class - "The Goat" Bone kokaku + Goatskull kakuja - The career change really made things complicated
Ethos "Etho" Lab [Dove] :: Tier 3 - Sniper quinque with high caliber Q bullets. - y'know what they call me? call me ladders. cuz i go up real high...
Fals "False" Symmetria [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Sword quinque, morphs into winged broadsword. - Oh her and Wels go waaaay back!
Fhwip "Fwip" Taylor [Dove] :: Tier 3 - Sickle quinque - Y'know what they say about younger siblings growing up to replace you? Yeah. That.
Gemini "Gem" Taylor [Dove] :: Tier 3 - Whipsword quinque. - Youngins these days kick butt way harder than they used to
Grian Spurman [Human] :: S Class* - Red wings quinque backpack - Some would say that's cannibalism O-o
Haech "Hbomb" Bomber [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Yknow back in my day
Hels Gnitte [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Spiderman pointing meme
Hypnos "Hypno" Tizzede [Human] :: n/a - Going once, going twice, sold to the man with no front teeth!
I Jevin Aquamarine Gaimen "Jevin" [Ghoul] :: A Class - Two bright blue bikaku tails - They say surfing is a sport in California. Don't know where the couches came from.
Impulse Essve [Human] :: n/a - Occupational hazard or not, he's getting his goddamn coffee
Iskall Eigh Fivva [Dove] :: Tier 1 - Non Newtonian bikaku blade quinque - (floppy)HAMMERTIME
Joel Beans Smallish [Human] :: n/a - Cast iron pans work wonders
Joseph "Joe" Hills [Human] :: n/a - Journalism just got way more dangerous
Kera Liss "Keralis" [Human*] :: n/a - Hmm, how'd you get there?
Lizzie D Shadowlady [Ghoul] :: C class - "Housecat" 3 toed talons kokaku - No officer, there's no one here, just this very cat like cat...
Martyn LilWood [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Standard sword quinque. Possibly with a rocket on the end. - Not quite taking the lone wolf schtick to heart
Mumbo K. Jumbo [Ghoul] :: B Class - "The Suit" Double kokaku claws - Mondays amiright
Pearl Escentmoon [Human] :: n/a - Worst. Field trip. Ever.
Pix Elrif [Ghoul] :: C class - "Automaton" Single tail bikaku - The cat distribution system but he is the cat
Ren Thedog [Ghoul] :: S class - "The Red Wolf" Single tail Rinkaku + wolf head kakuja - oh hey how you doing nice to meet- SQUIRREL???
Saus "Sausage" J Mythica [Human] :: n/a - The world's best chewy stress toy
Scar Goodfan [Ghoul] :: SS class -"The Vex" Ukaku vex wings + 2 bikaku tails + Perfect Kakuja - no chill having, no leg having, no craps given, no fear having ass
Scott Dangtha Longie Major [Dove] :: Tier 1 - Spear quinque - Doing his best ;w;
Skizz LeMann [Ghoul] :: C class - "Lucifer" 4 feathered rinkaku tails - One beer away from getting in the maid outfit
Tress "Stress" Monstre [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Warhammer quinque - Holds all of the tea. And yeah, that's a lot.
Tango Tekk [Ghoul] :: C class - "Helios" Single wing, combustible, ukaku - Is absolutely not compensating for anything
Tin Foilchef "TFC" [Dove] :: Tier 4 - Double edged scythe, polymorph, quinque - Judge, Justice and Executioner
Timothy "Jimmy" Solidarity [Ghoul] :: C class - "Canary" Deformed wing Ukaku - The vibe is strong with this one. That vibe was wet cat.
Wels K. Nite [Ghoul] :: B Class - "The Knight" Reptilian wing Ukaku - huh, well that's awkward
Xb Crafheld [Ghoul] :: A Class - "Guardian" Fused double tail bikaku - If he had a nickel every time he was friends with a suspicious man, he would have two nickels.
Xisuma "X" Vhoide [Dove] :: Tier 3 - Multiple quinques - Has one and a half eyeballs
Amusix "eX" Vhoide* [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Crossbow quinque - There's a crime here about to be committed...
Zed Aphlays [Ghoul] :: C class - "The Ram" Bikaku Sheep's foot - One good day away from committing arson
Zloy Exphee [Human] :: n/a - These journalists seriously need to chill.
13 notes · View notes
balanceingrace · 2 years
Note
I feel like this goes without saying but no one has done it yet so I am going to say it again, especially since your writing is very good. I feel like we need something inspired by the workout video of Joe. Something where  y/n and Joe are working out together in the same gym but like y/n is on the other side doing something else while Joe was working with his trainers and a guy came up to y/n and she wanted to make Joe jealous (for the hot sex ofc) so she started to flirt with the guy and Joe noticed and started to get mad and when they were done he got all quiet and mad after and in the car and when they got home he called her a brat and was like “you heard me. i told you to take off your clothes” or “you like it when i fuck you like this? yeah you do”.
I love this idea! Inspired by this clip-hope you enjoy!
In the years since you had stopped playing college basketball, you all but abandoned the rigorous training schedule that was once mandatory by your coaches. Yeah, you worked out a few times a week, but things had gotten a little lackadaisical recently, especially in the weeks following Joe’s Super Bowl loss. You decided once he began ramping up his off-season work with his trainer that you would join him at his gym in an attempt to get your butt into gear. 
Joe had been reluctant at first when you told him you’d hired a trainer at his gym, not because he thought it was a bad idea but because he didn’t think you needed it. “You were literally a top college athlete. Why are you paying this guy to help you workout?” Joe asked as you two exited the freeway and turned into the driveway of the gym. 
“Because, why not? It’s nice to have a professional there motivating you,” you shrugged, grabbing your towel and water from the backseat. “I could motivate you,” Joe mumbled in response, grumpily holding the door open to the gym for you. 
Once you got inside, the two of you went your separate ways; Joe off to the side with his trainers, isolated from the other clients who were whispering and attempting to take subtle photos of the quarterback. Even though he was was regular at this tiny non-commercial gym, the locals were still excited anytime they saw the Joe Burrow squatting next to them. 
Greeting your newly hired trainer Tom, the two of you began getting to work. Tom came recommended from your neighbor and you soon learned that he was no nonsense and extremely professional with a quick wit from his days as a college professor. 
After a few sets, you found yourself sweating like a pig. “Hold on, I’m baking in this sweatshirt!” you stop Tom as he sets up an incline bench for you. Wiggling out of your sweatshirt, you tug your sports bra into position and bend down to grab your water bottle. It was at that moment you heard someone clear their throat comically loud, and you look up just in time to see Joe shooting darts with his eyes in your direction. Not thinking anything of it, you smile at him and give a little wave before turning back to Tom.
Joe ended up finishing his workout early and waited outside by the car while you said goodbye to Tom. Cracking jokes with each other about how out of shape you are, you thank Tom and agree to a time for your next session. Still catching your breath, you walk up to Joe and wrap your arm around him for a half-hug only to have him scowl and open your car door. “Finally. I’ve been waiting for you to finish flirting with your boyfriend for the past 10 minutes,” Joe motions for you to get in and slams the door before peeling out of the parking lot. 
You ignore Joe’s comment and start scrolling through your messages, answering Joe’s mom and sending a reminder to yourself to send flowers to your grandmother. A few minutes pass before you realize Joe hasn’t said one word and the radio is turned off. “Joey? What’s wrong? Is your knee flared up?” your voice is full of concern as you turn towards Joe, worried he had tweaked something during his session. 
“What’s wrong is my girlfriend decided to be a brat today and spend the past two hours flirting with her trainer in front of me,” Joe’s jaw clenched as he turned onto the cul-de-sac. A laugh involuntarily escapes your lips as you suddenly realize he’s being serious. Joe had many wonderful, truly incredible traits and few bad ones. His jealous streak was one of those bad ones; irrational and often popping up at the worst times, it didn’t manifest itself frequently, but when it did? Good luck trying to convince Joe otherwise. The checker at Whole Foods who offers to double bag your groceries? Trying to fuck you. The man at the post office complimenting the Christmas wrapping on the packages you were mailing? Going to ask you out. No matter how innocent the situation, Joe felt like the whole world was trying to steal his girl. 
“Honey. I was not being a brat nor flirting. You need to calm down,” coming around the side of the car to follow Joe in, you gentle reach up and rub the back of his neck. That was normally one of Joe’s favorite soothing techniques of yours, but today it had the opposite effect. 
Snatching your arm down from his neck, Joe backs you against the hallway wall and places both of his hands on either side of your body, locking you within his arms but still standing far enough away so as to not frighten you. “If you’re so convinced you did nothing wrong, why don’t you prove it to me?” Joe’s lips were millimeters away from your ear and you felt your whole body flush. Oh. He wanted to play games. 
Locking eyes with Joe, you lick your lips as you slide your hand down the front of his gym shorts. You were greeted with his massive dick poking out, fully erect and ready. When did that happen? Not breaking eye contact, you slide his shorts down so you can wrap your hands around his cock, pumping him slowly as precum drips down onto your fingers. 
Joe bends down to kiss you but you turn your head away from him. “Nope. You don’t get to accuse me of flirting and then think you’re getting romance.” Ignoring Joe’s scowl, you muster all of your strength and push him against the opposite wall. Kneeling between his legs, you begin licking his cock; tracing the length up and down ever so softly to tease him without fulling taking him in your mouth. You knew from years of experience Joe hated when you teased him like this, his frustration evident on his face.
After a few minutes of teasing, you take him into your mouth and slide his cock all the way back, the tip hitting your throat and causing you to gag. Staying still, you look up at Joe, his eyes glued to you, sweat drenching his chest. Rolling your tongue around his length, you begin sucking Joe’s dick, bobbing your head up and down as you worked him senseless. 
You were startled as you heard a loud thud; looking up, you realized it was Joe’s head slamming back into the wall, his face blissed out as you blew him. Realizing you had him close to his climax, you pull yourself off of his dick and stand up without saying anything. 
“Where do you think you’re going?” Joe pants, his voice hoarse with lust. “I’m all done. You seemed bored.” He had no idea how much of a brat you were prepared to be. Walking into the kitchen, you heard Joe’s footsteps behind you as he grabs you and tosses you over his shoulder, your shrieks filling the house. “Joey! What the fuck are you doing?” Your long frame was hanging down his back, and you reach down to playfully spank his ass. 
“You’re done when I say you’re done,” Joe places you onto the kitchen counter and grabs your face, kissing you passionately. You decide to acquiesce just this once and kiss him back, forcing your tongue into his mouth so he could taste himself on you. Sliding his hands down your sides, he slips your leggings off and pulls your panties to the side, stepping between your legs as you open up for him.
“Joey,” you can’t control the moan that escapes from your lips as he begins using the tip of his cock to tease your clit, the sensation causing you to inch yourself closer to him. Backing up, Joe grins at you, loving that the control has now shifted to him. “Brats have to be patient,” he smirks, his dick growing even harder watching you pout as your arousal drips onto the marble countertop. 
Moving towards you, he spreads you legs even wider as he lines himself up with your entrance. Smiling, he slowly enters you and stops with just his tip buried inside, your walls already fluttering. You bite your lip and beg Joe to keep going, the feeling of his wide tip already turning you on. “Please Joe, I need you inside me.” You rock your hips forward, seeking relief.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Joe pushes himself all the way in, his cock hitting your cervix causing both of you to curse. Pumping in and out slowly, Joe wraps one hand gently around your throat and lifts your lips to his, using his grip on your neck to hold you still as he ramps up his pace. The feeling of his hand around your throat and his dick grazing your g-spot cause your breath to hitch and your eyes to go blurry; the overstimulation coupled with the endorphins from earlier making your brain mush. 
Feeling you clench harder around his cock, Joe takes that as his sign to turn up the tempo. Lifting your left thigh over his shoulder, Joe uses this new angle to his advantage and speeds up this thrusts, going deeper and deeper until he feels a wet gush between the two of you. Screaming out as your orgasm runs through your body, you hold Joe close to you as he continues to pump into you. It takes only a few more seconds before you feel him finish inside of you, his release spilling out onto your thighs and counter. 
Letting go of your neck and gently removing your leg from his shoulder, Joe wraps his arms around you and holds you to his chest. Struggling to regain you composure, you slump into his large frame, eyes growing drowsy after your romp. 
“I’m sorry baby. I was wrong. You weren’t being a brat,” Joe mumbles into your hair reluctantly. He knew he was being dumb and sensitive earlier. Years of dating hadn’t changed the fact that some small part of him always felt inadequate for you; he knew you were as crazy about him as he was about you, but no matter what, that feeling lurked in his deepest insecurities. 
“It’s okay baby. I get it. Just think about how I feel when I have to scroll though 1400 TikToks about your ass,” you smiled as Joe laughed, helping you off the counter.
Climbing upstairs, you groaned as your back cracked. “I don’t know who gave me the harder workout, you or Tom.”
245 notes · View notes
Text
episode 0 - a prologue
It’s a beautiful, sunny summer morning in Muskoka, Ontario. TV host Chris McLean is looking spiff and spim, dressed in his usual “too cool to care” casual look, tiny bag full of baby teeth around his neck, smile bright and blinding as he steps out in front of the camera crew for the first time that season. 
“Yo, we're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario. I'm your host, Chris McLean, dropping season eight of the hottest reality show on television right now!
Here's the dealio: Twenty-two teens have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crappy summer camp, where they'll compete in challenges against each other then have to face the judgment of their fellow campers. After every challenge, one team will either survive another day or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the loser boat, and leave Total Takes Island for good.
Their fate will be decided at the dramatic campfire ceremonies where each week, all but one camper will receive one marshmallow. In the end, only one will be left standing- and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small fortune, which, let's face it, they'll probably blow in a week. To survive, they'll have to battle black flies, grizzly bears, disgusting camp food...
 ...and each other.  Every moment will be caught on one of the hundreds of cameras situated all over the camp. Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out right here, right now, on Total... Takes... Island!"
Chris takes a deep breath as the director calls “CUT” and everyone moves their equipment to the docks in a flurry of production assistants and cords. Chris stands by, sipping on his low-fat white chocolate mocha and tapping his foot until he’s called up to his place. 
Just as rehearsed, he smiles, waits for the director’s signal, and then spots a gleaming white boat off in the distance just as the cameras begin rolling. 
“How about we meet our campers, huh?”
The boat arrives in mere seconds and the ramp rolls down for the first time of many, giving way to a short, brunet man who’s likely a little too excited for his own good. 
“Peter, my man, what’s up?”
Peter drops his bags, still onboard, and then bounds down the ramp to give Chris a spine-chilling hug. 
“This is so sweet, I’m on Total Drama Island! Nyehehehe,” he says before looking directly into the camera, finally releasing Chris. “Shoutout to the gang back home in Quahog! Joe, Cl-”
Chris cuts in before he can divert the segment any further- they have a schedule to keep, after all. “Great! Here’s Sha-Mod!”
The next contestant off is a gentleman wearing a gray hoodie, and, strangely, a large printed out photo of former contestant Lightning over his face. Chris blinks- it’s certainly not the strangest thing he’s ever seen, but it’s definitely new. “Hey, man, what’s with the face?”
Sha-Mod shakes his head. “As if I'd let a bunch of randos see my real face,” and with that, he picks up his bags and walks away. Chris stares in bewilderment for a moment before the next contestants arrive. 
“Alrighty, then. Next up we have a classic three-parter: Joner, McLovin, and Michael!”
The boat speeds away as the next three approach. McLovin- a too-tall too-skinny nerdlet with glasses that hang at the tip of his nose- is holding one of Joner’s- a too-short too-fat teenage boy lite- hands, while Michael- an average-sized green haired girl in a parka- holds his other. 
Chris stifles a laugh. “What’s with the, uh…” he gestures to the hands. 
Michael starts: “He-”
McLovin makes sure to butt in, very matter-of-factly. “He’s scared of boats,”
A brief flash of annoyance crosses Michael’s face. “Yeah, that,”
“My buddies are just looking out for me, and besides, nothing wrong with best friends holding hands!” Joner pipes in happily, beaming. Chris chuckles. 
“Great. I see not a single way this friendship could possibly go awry!” he says. “Next up, Fren!”
The boat comes by with a mysterious figure on board. Everyone stares in awe as Fren, a steampunk-esque quirked up white boy with pink hair stands aboard. The boat stops and he steps off and gives a formal bow. “Nice to make your acquaintances,”
Chris chuckles yet again. “Formal. Nice,”
Fren offers a hand to Chris for him to shake, which he accepts with a grin. He sighs happily as Fren walks away- what a great season this is going to be. 
“Next- Julia!”
Julia beams at the slowly-growing group as the boat disappears once again. She adjusts her glasses and tightens her ponytail before smiling professionally at the group. 
“I also go by Jules, if you'd prefer,”
No one verbally responds, though Joner waves. 
Chris smiles. “Good for you. Austin!”
Julia's calm, confident entrance is immediately crushed by a wave of groovy tunes and good vibes. A tall, bespectacled swinger is standing at the very edge of the boat, arms out Titanic-style. He grins, showing off his extremely British teeth, and shouts loud enough for the rats on land to hear. 
“Right groovy baby yeah!!”
Before the boat can dock, Austin dives off it and plops into the water below. After a few seconds, he resurfaces and scales the docks, approaching the crowd whilst dripping wet. He flashes a smile at the ladies and swipes seaweed off his shoulder. 
“Lovely birds out today, yeah?”
Julia and Michael both give him a strange look and then glance at each other with the same mystified expression
“Psychedelic, man,” Chris says. “Courtney, everyone!”
Courtney is the picture of grace as they step off the boat, the sun reflecting off their many piercings and highlighting their pink hair. They're clearly trying to make a good impression as they grin and waves. 
“Happy to be here! It's nice to meet everyone,”
Everyone gives a half-enthused wave except for Austin, who smiles widely and waves excitedly. 
“And give a warm welcome to Patrick!”
Contrasting Courtney’s warmth, Patrick walks rigidly down the docks, listening to something over his headphones with a deadened expression. 
Courtney puts on a smile and attempts to approach, much to everyone else’s dismay. “Hi, it’s nice to-”
In a single shove, Patrick moves Courtney out of his way and continues on his stiff path to the edge of the docks, where he proceeds to brood in silence. 
“Jeez, what’s his deal?” Joner scoffs. 
McLovin nudges his friend with his elbow. “Dare you to hug him,”
“No way! Make Michael do it!”
“As if!”
Michael groans and turns to her other side as McLovin and Joner bicker. 
Julia winces on her behalf. “Do you know those guys?”
She sighs and gives an apologetic smile. “Friends from back home,”
“Ah, I see…”
The boat returns, though this time, there’s a definite spooky, dark, looming energy emanating from it. Chris grins wickedly. 
“Scary and Frollo, glad to see you,”
First off is Scary, who cartwheels down the ramp and lands perfectly next to Patrick. He ignores her. Frollo steps off the boat next, clutching a Bible, and joins the crowd. though, when he notices he's standing too close to the women he takes a step away.
“Kitty!”
Kitty has the exact opposite energy as they bound off the boat on all fours and then somersault into the water, disappearing into the ocean.
“Mal!”
Mal steps off with her head held high, clutching her phone closely. She's not a spectacle, but she emanates a certain intimidating energy, Courtney's eyes widen and they suddenly seem very nervous.
“Hello, Chris,” Mal smiles. “Great day, huh?”
“Nice to see you,” Chris grins back. “But, we do have a no-phones policy, so... Chef!”
Chef walks onto the dock and skewers Mal's phone with a spear, then dumps its sparking body in the water. She reacts with a small smile, though her left eye twitches.
“No biggie! Just happy to be here,” she walks off and stands besides Courtney, giving them a small, slightly sinister smile that quickly disappears when Julia looks over. Courtney shudders. 
“Bonnie, welcome aboard!”
Bonnie steps off the ramp, looking thoroughly unimpressed. They set down their bags and walk over to Chris. “I was told we'd have wifi?”
Chris chuckles. “Oh, yeah. We lied about that,”
Bonnie grumbles and then steps away, standing beside Mal and Courtney.
“You know what I do when I'm having internet withdrawals? I take deep breaths and count to ten,” Mal says, still smiling. Her voice is soft and calm, though there’s something unsettling about it. Bonnie frowns. 
“Sure. Thanks,”
“Scruffy, our local Total Drama historian!”
Scruffy jumps straight off the boat, clutching a disposable camera and a notepad. “Glad to be here, man! my master thesis is gonna be concrete after this season, I'll tell ya,”
“If you survive it!”
“What?”
“Huh? Oh, here's Ass!”
Ass steps off-board, looking not quite happy but not quite upset, either.
“Welcome to-”
Ass holds a finger up to chris, silencing him with their sheer power alone, and then stands near Patrick and Scary at the end of the dock
Chris shudders. “Yeesh. Max!”
Max follows, looking over the crowd of people already collecting on the docks. He’s dressed like he wants to get booted first, in a prep school uniform- tie and all. 
He sighs. “Not impressed,”
“That makes two of us, buddy. Alex!”
A fairly good-looking brunett with sharply cut bangs steps off the boat and frowns deeply, their eyes darkening. “Um, actually, I sent your legal department an invoice, I use Staci, thank you very much,”
“Oh, we got it, it's just that we already had a Staci-”
“Yeah, that's the point,” they roll their eyes.
Staci walks over to the crowd and stands between Austin and Julia.
They give the both of them an angry glance and then look back dead-ahead. “It’s Staci,”
Austin and Julia look at each other nervously and then nod. 
“O and Kelly!”
Kelly and O step off, also holding hands. Kelly, though the same age as everyone else, has a certain milf-y energy about them. O looks ill but is smiling anyway. The two are talking amongst themselves as they step down the ramp. 
“And just remember, next time you're feeling seasick, just let me know,”
“Thank you, Kelly,”
Chris chuckles. “How sweet. And finally-”
Chris is suddenly interrupted by the sound of a helicopter landing. Everyone covers their ears and ducks down to avoid the winds, except for Austin, who is blown straight back into the water by the air current.
The helicopter stops and someone steps off- an impeccably dressed television icon in purple, who just about everyone recognizes.
He grins. “I hope I'm not late,”
Chris’ eyes narrow and he sighs before responding in a low grumble. “Just in time, Caesar,”
“And I'm sure you got my memo?”
“Affirmative,”
“Lovely. Then I'm glad to be here,”
He turns straight to the camera. “This is Caesar Flickerman, reporting live from Wawanakwa! May the odds be ever in my favor, amirite?!”
No one responds. Chris seethes a little before collecting himself. “Right! anyway, group photo, anyone? for memory's sake?”
Everyone grumbles in dismay, but shuffles to the end of the dock as Chris takes the picture from the shore.
“Ready? one- two- three- say "Wawanakwa!"”
Before the contestants can respond, the helicopter suddenly takes off, blowing everyone into the water. Chris laughs.
---
Chris has everyone gathered around the campfire now, either standing, sitting on the slightly-burnt grass, or seated on one of the few logs placed around the pit. 
“This is camp Wawanakwa, your home for the next two months. The idle teens beside you will be your teammates, your competitors, and maybe even your friends, but more importantly, the camper who remains throughout the competition will win one million dollars!”
A happy murmur rumbles through the crowd. 
“You'll be living alongside each other in the team cabins- one side for girls and such, one side for boys and such. Here's the deal: if I call your name, I want you to stand over here, behind me,”
“Austin,”
“Frollo,”
“Jooooner,”
“Julia,”
“Kellllly!”
“Max,”
“Michael,”
“O,”
“Scary,”
“Scruffy,”
“And Staci! You are the Inane Anons!”
Joner frowns as he looks at McLovin on the other side of the fire pit. “Ah, crap. sorry, man,”
“No, it's ok. I'll take my loss like a man,” McLovin steps away from Joner and Michael and tears up. Courtney pats his back reassuringly, and gives a concerned look to the rest of the team. 
“The rest of you are the Flying Fujoshis!”
Fren grins. “Cool,”
“You and your team will be on camera in all public areas during your time here- you'll also be able to hold confessionals in the outhouse to get whatever's on your mind out to the world!”
xxx
Bonnie crosses their arms and frowns. “Yeah, this is terrible. But I might as well make the best of it while I can. There's bound to be some terrible, mind-numbingly awful drama here, so... at least I won't be bored,”
---
Peter is grinning, so close to the camera you can barely see his face. “This is sweet!!”
---
Patrick simply sits and stares into the camera. 
---
Chris grins. “Any questions?” Everyone raises their hand. “No? great! your cabins are right up ahead.”
---
Patrick frowns as he enters, slinging a long duffel bag over his shoulder as he studies the cabin. “This is terrible,”
“I don't know, it's kind of giving... cute, campy, even!” Caesar chuckles, dusting the dirt off the bunk-bed blankets. The two turn to Sha-Mod as he begins walking back outside. 
“I think I just saw a rat giving birth under one of the beds,”
Peter awwwws as Patrick and Caesar look at each other nervously. 
---
Scary walks in and immediately crawls under one of the beds on all fours. 
Julia raises an eyebrow but says nothing, and walks over to the other bed, setting down her things. Michael is on the bunk above
“You might want to take a top bunk, man. I'm pretty sure I saw a possum laying eggs under this one,”
Julia’s face flushes white and she picks her bags right back up. “Noted!” she says as she moves to the bunk across the room. 
Kelly enters and grins, lugging several heavy designer suitcases behind her and panting. “Say.. could I... ask you girls for a little... Help over here?”
Julia scoffs, earning a frown from Kelly, but Michael shrugs and slides off the top bunk, going around to the other end of the large suitcase and hefting it up with a wheeze.
“Jesus, this is heavy, what's in here? Bricks?”
Kelly chuckles. “Portable tanning bed. Never leave home without it!”
Michael blinks. “Right,”
“Where exactly do you think you're gonna fit all that junk?” Julia asks, crossing her arms. Kelly thinks for a moment, surveying the cramped cabin with a frown before turning back to the girls with an apologetic smile. 
“Anyone not using their bed?”
Chris’ voice suddenly blares over the loudspeakers. 
“Attention, campers! Put on your swimsuits and meet me at the top of the big old cliff across the island in ten minutes for your first challenge!”
24 notes · View notes
jules-has-notes · 3 months
Text
Dayton, OH — VoicePlay live performances
After spending quite a bit of time in Ohio the previous autumn, VoicePlay returned in July 2015 for a night at the Fraze Pavilion. The show was almost cancelled for inclement weather, but luckily the rain held off and the outdoor venue stayed dry.
Their opening act was Eleventh Hour of Kettering Fairmount High School, the host group for the Kettering A Capella Festival that VoicePlay had participated in the year before. These talented kids had also opened for the Sing-Off tour a few months earlier at the Troy, OH show.
.
[NOTE: The videographer sings along a lot.]
Each performance of this blend of comedy skit and musical medley is always a little different. How much will the driver and passenger poke at each other's buttons? Where will the air freshener go? What song will Layne sing? Have a watch and find out.
Details:
title: Road Trip
original songs / performers: [0:50] "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" by Tiny Tim; [1:08] "Orinoco Flow" by Enya; [1:26] "Cum On Feel the Noize" by Quiet Riot; [2:35] "Big Shot" by Billy Joel; [2:48] "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister; [2:57] "Voices Carry" by ’Til Tuesday; [3:14] "Shout" by Tears For Fears; [3:30] "Why Can't We Be Friends?" by War; [3:40] "That Smell" by Lynyrd Skynyrd; [4:24] "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" by Chicago; [5:43] "We Just Disagree" by Dave Mason; [6:04] "Let It Go" by Idina Menzel as Elsa in Frozen (2013) ** see this dedicated post for original song links
written by: "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" by Al Dubin & Joe Burke; "Orinoco Flow" by Eithne "Enya" Pádraigín Ní Bhraonáin & Roma Ryan; "Cum On Feel the Noize" by Noddy Holder & Jim Lea; "Big Shot" by Billy Joel; "I Wanna Rock" by Dee Snider; "Voices Carry" by Robert Holmes, Aimee Mann, Michael Hausman, & Joey Pesce; "Shout" by Roland Orzabal & Ian Stanley; "Why Can't We Be Friends?" by Papa Dee Allen, Harold Ray Brown, B.B. Dickerson, Lonnie Jordan, Charles Miller, Lee Oskar, Howard E. Scott, & Jerry Goldstein; "That Smell" by Allen Collins & Ronnie Van Zant; "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" by Peter Cetera & David Foster; "Let It Go" by Kristen Anderson-Lopez & Robert Lopez
arranged by: Geoff Castellucci
My favorite bits:
road raging Eli
Tony's flickering eye movements at the first iteration of "Cum On Feel the Noize"
♫ "We'll get WILD, wild, wild…" ♫
Layne jolting awake on the beat
Geoff's little twirl as he flees the vehicle
Earl using the pretend aerosol spray as deodorant rather than his usual hairspray motion
Hey, Layne, look up there. ☝
Eli almost laughing at the different interruption
Trivia:
VoicePlay had been performing and tweaking this medley/skit since at least 2010.
They made a professional recording in front of a live audience during the 2014 Sing-Off tour.
Layne usually sings "Royals" by Lorde as his interrupting solo, but sometimes changes it like he does here in an attempt to make the other guys break character.
.
youtube
As much fun as this medley is to listen to, it's even more entertaining to watch the boys perform it live, bopping around the stage and playing together.
Details:
title: The King Has Returned (Lion King medley)
original songs: "Circle of Life"; [1:51] "I Just Can’t Wait to Be King"; [2:29] "Hakuna Matata"; [3:16] "Be Prepared"; [4:39] "Circle of Life" (reprise)
written by: Elton John & Tim Rice
arranged by: VoicePlay
My favorite bits:
the rhythm section step-touching their way through the "Circle of Life" chorus
Tony and Eli gesture-bickering over which of them "mine" refers to during "I Just Can't Wait to Be King"
Earl's little Elvis groove at the beginning of "Hakuna Matata"
Eli and Earl bouncing across the stage in time with Geoff's little downward riff
Tony and Geoff's alternating Twist moves
the crunchy transition into "Be Prepared", and their emphatic stomping
Layne making a butt-smacking motion toward Geoff to go with the whipcrack in his percussion line
the two beats of silence after "Pay attention!"
Trivia:
This medley originally appeared on VoicePlay's 2012 album "Once Upon an Ever After"
"Hakuna Matata" was also included in the "aca-Disney" mashup they created for the 20th anniversary of Disney On Broadway, as well as in their "Aca Top 10 — Disney Sidekicks" countdown.
"Be Prepared" later appeared in their "Aca Top 10 — Disney Villains" countdown.
.
youtube
[NOTE: The videographer sings along a lot.]
VoicePlay isn't exactly a boy band, but they certainly sound good singing these hit pop songs from across the decades. And they've got a few moves to go with those talented voices.
Details:
title: Boy Bands medley
original songs / performers: "ABC" by The Jackson 5; [0:36] "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" by The Beatles; [1:19] "My Girl" by The Temptations; [2:08] "Sherry" by The Four Seasons; [3:04] "YMCA" by The Village People; [3:37] "(You Got It) The Right Stuff" by New Kids on the Block; [4:00] "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys; [4:40] "Bye Bye Bye" by *NSYNC
written by: "ABC" by Berry Gordy, Freddie Perren, Alphonzo Mizell, & Deke Richards; "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" by John Lennon & Paul McCartney; "My Girl" by Smokey Robinson & Ronald White; "Sherry" by Bob Gaudio; "YMCA" by Jacques Morali & Victor Willis; "You Got It (The Right Stuff)" by Maurice Starr; "I Want It That Way" by Andreas Carlsson & Max Martin; "Bye Bye Bye" by Kristian Lundin, Jake Schulze, & Andreas Carlsson
arranged by: VoicePlay
My favorite bits:
Geoff's slow realization that his mic is dying
the other four carrying on through "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" just fine, but knowing that the next transition could be borked
return of the bass right on time, but a third too low (Good recovery, dudes.)
Eli's little head tilt in the back during the chorus of "YMCA"
the crunchy transition from "Right Stuff" to "That Way"
Tony's fabulous pop timbre on the lead for the last two songs
"Everybody watch him drink that water." VoicePlay, modelling healthy hydration habits.
Trivia:
VoicePlay revised this medley and finally recorded a video for it in 2019 as the result of a Patreon poll.
This piece usually ended with "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction, but The Fraze didn't have a screen to project the visual gag that goes along with it, so the guys omited that part entirely for this performance.
.
youtube
[NOTE: The videographer and her daughter sing along and yell a LOT.]
This video contains three separate numbers — Layne's drum solo, the "A Crimpella" medley of phonations, and an encore of "Don't Stop Believin'".
Details:
title: Layne's drum solo
written & arranged by: Layne Stein
Look at him go!!! 🥁
.
title: A Crimpella
original songs / performers: [2:12] "Walk the Dinosaur" by Was (Not Was); [2:25] "Witch Doctor" by Alvin & the Chipmunks; [2:32] "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang; [2:37] "We Go Together" from Grease!; [2:44] "Motownphilly" by Boyz II Men; [2:53] "Imma Be" by the Black Eyed Peas; [3:01] "Tutti Frutti" by Little Richard; [3:03] "Shoop" by Salt N Pepa; [3:10] "Jock-A-Mo" (aka "Iko Iko") by James "Sugar Boy" Crawford; [3:18] "Mahna Mahna" from The Muppet Show; [3:30] "Lovin, Touchin, Squeezin" by Journey; [3:51] "Goofy Goober Rock" from The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie; [3:55] "MMMBop" by Hanson; [4:08] "Hooked on a Feeling" by Blue Swede; [4:10] "Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock; [4:16] "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" by Neil Sedaka; [4:25] "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen; [4:42] "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga; [4:46] "Can't Get You Outta My Head" by Kylie Minogue; [4:52] "Limbo La La" by James Lloyd; [4:56] "All Night Long" by Lionel Richie; [5:13] "Wanna Be Starting Something" by Michael Jackson; [5:20] "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" by Steam ** see this dedicated post for original song links
arranged by: VoicePlay
My favorite bits:
the stomp sending Eli flying
everyone "watching" the UFO flyby and waving to it
the big wind-up before the others join Tony in rocking out
Earl's little chugging motions during Geoff's "ooga chaka" solo, that Layne then picks up for the next section
using the ♫ "goo-ood-byyye" ♫ as an actual exit line
Trivia:
This medley was part of their setlist for several years, including during the 2014 Sing-Off tour.
.
title: Don't Stop Believin'
original songs / performers: [8:00] "Don't Stop Believin'"; [10:38] "Open Arms"; and [10:47] "Any Way You Want It" by Journey; [10:31] "Oh Sherrie" by Steve Perry
written by: all songs written by Steve Perry in collaboration – "Don't Stop Believin'" with Jonathan Cain & Neal Schon; "Oh Sherrie" with Randy Goodrum, Craig Krampf, & Bill Cuomo; "Open Arms" with Jonathan Cain; "Any Way You Want It" with Neal Schon
arranged by: Layne Stein & Geoff Castellucci
My favorite bits:
the rare pairing up of Geoff and Tony & Eli and Layne during the first set of harmonies
Earl giving the camera a pointed look
Geoff's growl note as everyone but Earl drops out
the stacking of the polyphony section
Trivia:
Contrary to the cameraperson's assertion, Earl did not "mess up" the melody. That's how VoicePlay's arrangement goes. It's intentionally different from the original Journey version that she was probably expecting.
VoicePlay had been performing this arrangement since at least 2009, when they were still going by 4:2:Five.
In 2016, they were the featured guests at Camp A Cappella, and recorded a video for this song with the campers.
They later recorded a full version of "Any Way You Want It" during the second round of their PartWork series.
For a couple years, Eli also sang with a Journey cover band called Raised On Radio in between VoicePlay gigs.
6 notes · View notes
berrypiezero · 1 year
Text
Random Fraggle Rock Facts/Notes I need to double check:
According to Doozer myth, lazy Doozers who don't do their work morph into Fraggles (this is a story meant to spook young Doozers)
*From a book I used to read behind my great grandfather's recliner. One of those "childhood trauma media" moments. Also my first introduction to Fraggle Rock!
Convincing John is modeled after televangelists who were popular at the time
The names of the Minstrels are Cantus (Pipe), Murray (Guitar), Brool (strings), Brio (cymbals), and Balsam (drums)
Sidebottom (the Side of Boober he keeps at the Bottom) is named after a bus with "sidebottom" written on it, apparently in Swedish(??)
There is an extended version of "Follow Me" written and performed as a tribute to Jerry Juhl, head writer of the series
The Fraggles' oracle, Marjory, is a trash heap because archaeologists learn so much through trash! Just so much knowledge in garbage!
Each Fraggle was made for a particular puppeteer in mind. Steve Whitmire said (to me! I was there, I asked!) Wembley was made with a "hummingbird metabolism" in mind
Ditzies are tiny beings made of light that live off music. They are the smallest residents of Fraggle Rock
Doc is different based on country. He is an inventor in the US and Canadian version, but in other places he is a toymaker, lighthouse keeper, etc.
Fraggle Rock was intended by Jim Henson to be a "show that ended war"
There are many references to war in Fraggle Rock. Brool describes hearing only "battle sounds" before becoming a minstrel. An old treasure map mentions a "third drafting." The Gorgs (Pa mainly) mention battles, I'll have to check where.
The World's Oldest Fraggle was the only Fraggle to remember what a weapon looked like (AS OF THE OLD SERIES. p sure joe knows weapons)
Uncle Travelling Matt has seen The Dark Crystal in a drive-in theater
There are PORTALS in Fraggle Rock. Some of them TIME TRAVEL???
Wembley's name means "good at making decisions" according to his parents. I think I read it means "bad at making decisions" in Jim's Red Book. I'll have to check.
Wembley has a ping pong ball in his nose to get that perfect snoot shape. You could hang a sock off that thing (and they do)
Steve Whitmire got into the habit of making "Wembley grunts" in his daily life according to one bonus DVD
Doozers used to have lil butt cheekies just tushies out full booty. A designer then made a note to change them to stinger-like nubs to be more worker bee-ish
I'm pretty sure Cantus' Magic Pipe is the oboe, but don't quote me on that
52 notes · View notes
jungle-angel · 2 years
Text
More Headcannons about Bob and his dad
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Alot of people don’t know that Joe was in the Navy before the ranch kinda took over his life
He graduated from Top Gun but pretty soon after that he was shipped off to Kuwait for duty
And he got one hell of a reputation as a pilot
When Maverick found out who Bob’s dad was his reaction was “Wait......Floyd? Your dad is ‘Foul Mouth’ Floyd?!” 
People didn’t believe it......until they saw the pic of Joe on the wall at The Hard Deck in his Navy flight suit sticking not one, but both middle fingers in the air
Some of Joe’s best insulting names include the following
Pencil dicked, cocksucking turd blossom
Cockmuppet
Buttmunch
Butt Monkey
Douche Canoe
Ass monkey
And that’s only brushing the tip of the iceberg
Bob was born on the Navy Base.....well actually in the house the family lived at on the base
His dad had been back from Kuwait for about two years
Bob.....sneaky little Bob, had been born in the middle of the night at the peak of the summer of ‘93
Joe and Irene had already had Bob’s older siblings(seven.....count’em SEVEN!!! Joe clearly, was unable to keep his snake caged properly)
But Joe was moved to tears nonetheless
And when he held tiny little Bob in his arms he could hardly utter a word
“You sneaky fucker *SNIFF!* I love you” 
Bob’s mom had unfortunately passed when he was ten
Which had him and Joe growing as close as a father and son can get
There’s another picture on the wall of Joe in his flight suit, holding one year old Bob on his shoulder
And years later the same pic was taken of Bob with August on his shoulder
God the resemblance between the three generations is fuckin scary
But when Joe comes to The Hard Deck
It’s as though he never left
And there’s always a place at the Dagger Squad table
Because if anything, Joe’s definitely one of the best den-fathers this side of the coast
50 notes · View notes
I was tagged by the absolute loves of my life @metalheadmickey @heymrspatel @whatwouldmickeydo and @deathclassic to do a joy list and I’ll never say no to those! Here are some highlights from my time away
Joy List
1. Finally meeting my almost three year old niece and nephew and falling completely in love with them. Meeting my four month old niece and attending her baptism. Getting to hold another niece less than 24 hours after she was born.
2. My nephew’s eyes shining super bright when his mom told him ‘I got you something’ and without any more information on what that thing might be him immediately responding “ooooo thank you mama’ in the most adorable freaking voice
3. My niece playing doctor with me with her toy stethoscope, checking my heart and saying ‘sounds good’
4. My nephew coming over to me and lying down on top of me and tracing the scar on my knee gently, turning around and squeezing me, then going back to watching tv while lying on top of me.
5. My nephew handing me my crutch even though I didn’t need it because he had the urge to play with it then remembered ‘it’s not a toy’ but he’s already picked it up.
6. My niece interrupting our little game to say “I’m having so much fun hanging out with you”
7. My niece being annoyed at Charlie and yet asking to FaceTime him as soon as she leaves.
8. My little baby niece farting the loudest fucking fart! She farted so loud one night, she woke up her dad who thought someone was breaking into their home. HOW does something so loud come out of such a tiny baby!
9. Her dimples. Her laugh. Her smile. Her crazy messy hair.
10. When she sleeps in my arms.
11. Just born baby feet wrinkles!
12. Watching my aunt and uncle be grandparents and my cousins be dads.
13. My aunt teaching me to how to cook Egyptian food.
14. Finding the perfect pair of knee high brown suede shoes that actually zip up around my calves!
15. Sparkly boots
16. Meeting friends! Hugging friends for the first time. Hugging friends in the middle of a bus station. Really long first hugs.
17. Friendsgiving dinner.
18. Rented fancy chairs and charger plates!
19. The smell of tomato pie..
20. Getting to flex my brain muscles a little and finding that I do still got it apparently
21. Trader Joes and Petco shopping trips
22. A cuban sandwich and tacos
23. Service dogs with ear muffs when a theatre is too loud
24. Being called a jackal
25. Museum days and sculpture butts
26. Crossing things off my bucket list
27. Seeing my friends’ homes for the first time.
28. Sleepovers with friends
29. Knowing that in just a short couple of months I’ll get to see my family and friends again. Making concrete plans for it. Seeing it in their calendars.
30. This space. This community. All of you make me so, so joyful! It’s been almost a year since I’ve joined this place officially, and it has been the most transformative year I’ve had in a long time. It hasn’t been an easy one, but you’ve all helped me weather it. I love you all so much!!!!
And since this was going around a while ago, I’m gonna tag some friends! @whatwouldmickeydo @heymrspatel @metalheadmickey @gallawitchxx @gardenerian @iansfreckles @thisdivorce @squidyyy23 @tidalrace @auds-and-evens @creepkinginc @celestialmickey @deathclassic @energievie @howlinchickhowl @ianstummy @mikhailoisbaby @mrsinistertype @mickmilks @rereadanon @sickness-health-all-that-shit @sleepyfacetoughguy @doodlevich @xninetiestrendx @smokey-mickey @suchagallabitch @y0itsbri @look-i-love-u @vintagelacerosette @milkovichy @milkovski @clingymickey @whatthebodygraspsnot and literally anyone else who wants to share some joy! 
32 notes · View notes
brenpthetoonman · 11 months
Text
About me
Pronouns: He/him
Birthday: November 28, 1998
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Religion: Atheist
Zodiac sign: ♐
Gender: Male
Height: 5’7
Foot size: 10.5
Favorite animal: Cats, birds, sheep, turtles
Favorite food: Pizza, Chinese food, Mexican food, burgers, fries, mac and cheese, steak, chicken cutlets, swedish meatballs, goulash, pork chops, chicken fettuccine alfredo, waffles, pancakes, cornbread, poached eggs, sushi
Favorite fruit: Strawberries, apples, grapes, cherries, pineapples, kiwis, mangos, melons and bananas
Favorite drink: Coke, chocolate milk, lemonade, apple cider, tea, root beer and hot cocoa.
Favorite brand of cig: I despise cigarettes.
Favorite color: Purple
Favorite band: Queen, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Fleetwood Mac, Oasis, The Beatles, AC/DC, Green Day, Yes, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Metallica, Cheap Trick, The Who, Mother Love Bone, The Animals, Rage Against the Machine, Anthrax, Def Leppard, Iron Maiden, Megadeth, Judas Priest, Black Sabbath, DMX, A Tribe Called Quest, The Beach Boys, The Velvet Underground, blink-182, The Doors, The Allman Brothers Band, Motley Crue.
Favorite cartoon: Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Owl House, Gravity Falls, The Simpsons, Looney Tunes, Tex Avery cartoons, Hilda, Classic Disney shorts, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Popeye, Walter Lantz cartoons, The Amazing World of Gumball, Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi, Batman: TAS, Ed Edd n Eddy, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, OK KO, Powerpuff Girls '98, Samurai Jack, Megas XLR, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Futurama, Wander Over Yonder, King of the Hill, Amphibia, Beavis and Butt-Head, Dan vs, Gargoyles, Freakazoid, The Critic, Invader Zim, Teen Titans, Phineas and Ferb, Mission Hill, Time Squad, DuckTales/Darkwing Duck, Batman Beyond, Rocko's Modern Life, Angry Beavers, Kablam, Tiny Toon Adventures, Home Movies, ATHF, Animaniacs/Pinky and the Brain, Regular Show, Hey Arnold, Bojack Horseman, The Boondocks, The Ghost and Molly McGee, Clerks: TAS, Courage the Cowardly Dog, SWAT Kats, Top Cat, Superman: TAS, Celebrity Deathmatch, Kim Possible, Dave the Barbarian, South Park, Harvey Birdman, The Pink Panther, The Venture Bros.
Favorite movie: Gojira, Into the Spider-verse, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Aladdin '92, Hayao Miyazaki movies, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Batman '89, Ed Wood, Mel Brooks movies, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Big Lebowski, Akira, Quentin Tarantino movies, the classic Universal monster movies, Yellow Submarine, Dead Poet's Society, A Hard Day's Night, Monty Python movies, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Laurel and Hardy movies, Marx Brothers movies, The Book of Life, The LEGO Movie, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Edgar Wright's Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy, Die Hard 1-3, Guardians of the Galaxy, Robocop, Kevin Smith movies, Corpse Bride, Halloween '78, Alfred Hitchcock movies, Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, An American Tail, The Simpsons Movie, Willy Wonka, The Crow, The Mask, Suspiria '77, The Monster Squad, Kung Fu Panda 1-3, The Room, David Lynch movies, Wes Craven movies, Coraline, Babe, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Beetlejuice, Dazed and Confused, Inherit the Wind, Office Space, How to Train Your Dragon, Ernest and Celestine, Napoleon Dynamite, Liar Liar, Bruce Almighty, Kubo and the Two-Strings, ParaNorman, Coco, Frankenweenie, School of Rock, The Incredibles, Inside Out.
Favorite game: Banjo-Kazooie, Any Mario game, Animal Crossing, Legend of Zelda, Sonic 1-3, Any Kirby game, Pokemon Stadium 1&2, Spyro, Yooka-Laylee, Crash Bandicoot, Cuphead, the Kingdom Hearts series, The Simpsons: Hit & Run
Influence: Hayao Miyazaki, Wes Anderson, Matt Groening, Mike Judge, Dana Terrace, Tex Avery, Glen Keane, Eric Goldberg, Chuck Jones, Alfred Hitchcock, Edgar Wright, Wes Craven, Stephen Silver, Bruce W. Smith, Alex Hirsch, JG Quintel, Dan Povenmire, Jeff "Swampy" Marsh, Joe Murray, Craig Bartlett, Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Craig McCracken, Lauren Faust, Matt Braly, John R. Dilworth, Mo Willems, Bob Clamlett, Max Fleischer, Walter Lantz, Don Bluth, Henry Selick, Genndy Tartokovsky, Rob Renzetti, Loren Bouchard, Bill Oakley, Josh Weinstein
Motto: “If you can dream it, do it!”
7 notes · View notes
tparker48 · 6 months
Note
If you’re still taking requests, could you do something with a tiny pinned under/inside Joe Santagato’s butt during an episode of The Basement Yard podcast? Perhaps a second tiny for his cohost Frankie Alvarez?
Sure, I cam do that for ya^^
8 notes · View notes
squashfics · 11 months
Note
⭐ about anything you write — fics, writing, ocs, ships, the sequel — whatever you want to talk of 👀
I was gonna talk serennedy and about my attempts to have the one fic where unfortunate circumstances happen and it doesn’t lead to Luis getting all rapey but I realized I sounded like a broken record even if it was kinda for new followers to get an idear of why I’m like this and what I do here and it’s a major part of this blog so I’m gonna talk about Darcy’s fighting background because it’s something I would love to expand on in some way someday 
She’s a black belt in taekwondo and I made a joke post about how she would have done to any creachers what Joe did to the molded but one thing I’m hoping to touch on in the sequel is that since growing claws her fighting style has evolved slightly to accommodate her inability to make a fist and incorporate her powers and new anatomy, but more than that, she’s also outmatched a lot of the time. She’s short, and a taller, skinnier person would weigh about as much as her and the height difference would automatically put her at a disadvantage, so she adds an element of psychology to it, with tactics that rely on confusing, intimidating, or disorienting the other person. When she glows or produces fire, it could be a threat display like a lot of real life animals have, but there’s also a scene I have in the first chapter of the sequel where she starts a fight by throwing a bottle of pills at the attacker’s head as a distraction, and then immediately blocking his blind attack in response to that before countering and fucking him up pretty bad. also, she couldn’t fight much except to get out of a pinch and she kinda went on a rampage at the end as a giant flaming wolf
But also I want to give her a gun for her to not aim properly, because I like the idea of her being great at hand to hand combat but bad with a gun because it’s her most recent skill so she’s practiced it the least. if I ever get around to it, I’d like to do a prequel where she has some adventure with Mia and maybe Mia could grab a machine gun like she knows how to use and Darcy unloads an entire clip without hitting a single target before just using the butt of the gun to bash their heads in or something, I don’t know 
also, I’ve been thoroughly enjoying mercenaries mode for re4make and I keep imagining my ocs in a version of that. Petra can summon rats like Alcina can summon her daughters and use an assault rifle. Darcy functions like a tiny krauser (who is also great for melee) that also deals damage over time by setting everything on fire and whatever gun she has gets the part that compensates for recoil or a laser dot sight
3 notes · View notes
urmumsdrycooch · 2 years
Text
Iᔕᑎ'T TᕼᗩT EᑎOᑌGᕼ
Dana Ward x Reader
Summary: You and Dana have been hooking up, and your boyfriend come pays you a visit at Blackwell. (shit at summaries sorry)
Warnings: Swearing, cheating
Joey and I were in a tricky spot. We thought long-distance would work, we should've known we were wrong. He visited me at Blackwell yesterday, totally unexpected. I was so happy to see him. I am glad he is here. I've missed him a lot, and of course, I did something about missing him.
Dana was my solution. Sure, a solution shouldn't include feelings but something about the cheerleader just was irresistible. She triggered feelings I didn't know I had. And I fucking loved it. The way she smiles; how she compliments every tiny feature on my body; the little pom-poms she waves about in the morning to wake me up; her smooth touch across my skin that intoxicated me; her urge to get up and dance every time a half-decent song is played. I could go on for days, something I struggle to do with the quarterback in my room.
Now, here he is, in my room, butt-naked, starfishing across my bed. I have him to worry about, Dana constantly up my phone's ass, and this hell-of-a situation to sort out.
I pick up my phone which I had abandoned since Joe showed up, and there she was.
Dana: you coming over? i miss you
Dana: who's that you were speaking to
Dana: what the fuck y/n, when were you gonna tell me about this?
Dana: i'm guessing you're busy. let's speak later
Fuck, this should've never happened. I'll just go dive into this grave I've dug, and curl up and die. Sounds more appealing than sorting this shit out.
I love Joey, I have for a solid half-year, that's saying something isn't it.
The boy in my bed begins to shuffle his way out of the sheets his legs are tangled in, "Morning, love." I half-smile to the back of his head.
"Morning babe." He groans as he stretched his arms over his head. "What you doing up?"
I lightly shrug my shoulders, "School is still on my back, even on the weekends." I lie, walking over to the brunette and kissing his cheek.
He takes my arms, pulling me onto the bed, "I thought you didn't care about that stuff." He mumbles, sloppily planting kisses onto my neck.
I push him away, "Not right now, I need a shower." I tease him, I honestly have no clue how I'm going to deal with this.
As I enter the shared bathrooms, I notice the familiar hum of Dana. I lightly curse under my breath once she notices me.
I take a sink available next to the light-brown haired girl, I watch her grip tighten slightly on the sink sides.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She questions quietly, her voice shakey.
"I forgot."
"You forgot?" She scoffs, "Jesus, Y/n. You can't even make a good excuse, did I really mean that little to you? I can't believe you. How long have you been together? Does he know? Oh god, did you sleep with each other?" She rambles, offended by her own assumptions.
I lazily wipe my hand down my face, "8 months, no, and yes." I answer, then turning my head to look at her hurt expression.
"Dana. You- fuck, I really- Dana," I look down and briefly plan my next words, "You mean so much to me. I never brought it up because all I could- and can, think about it... was you." I admit.
She looks down, playing with her hands, "Well, break up with him." She mutters quietly.
I pull out my toothbrush from my washbag with an unhumourous chuckle, "It doesn't work like that." I look at her through the mirror in front of me.
"Well, how does it work?" She bites back.
"Because I love him, Dana! Or I think I do- I don't fucking know, it just doesn't work like that." I raise my tone, my hands forming more gestures by the second.
"Y/n, I have feelings for you, don't you get that! You have feelings for me, and I have feelings for you! Isn't that enough?" She bellows.
I throw my hands to my forehead, tied between the boyfriend I 'love' and the girl I feel free with. "Fuck!" I exclaim the pressure being too much for me. "I'll try, Dana," I conclude.
The girl packs up the soaps laid out around the sink and slowly walks over to me, planting a soft kiss on my lips, letting her hand stroke my cheek. Before making her leave, leaving me brushing my teeth with too many thoughts for this early in the morning.
Late afternoon came around soon, and so did the moment I had been waiting for. I check Joey's bag, making he has everything to take back with him like I'm his mother.
We soon stroll through the dorms, my head turns as we pass a certain one, Dana's music playing quieter than usual. Joey takes my hand as we walk down the stairs, his hands sweaty, I can't blame him, I'd been acting off all day. Sure he's a bit of a douche at times but he has feelings too, just like all the 'douches' at Blackwell. Victoria, Nathan and their little minions are filled with feelings.
We end up at the front of the Academy, and we both turn to face each other. I let out a sad sigh, "Joey, I need to speak to you."
"Shit." He sighs under his breath, he's definitely been expecting this.
"I love you, so much. But I've met someone." I take a sharp breath, "I missed you, and I did something without thinking. And I've started to feel... things for them." I admit,
"Who is he? Don't tell me it's one of these pretentious art school fuckers." He responds, our hands still connected.
"It doesn't matter who, and I promise you this had nothing to do with you, so-"
"Y/n." He states my name firmly.
"I can't go on like thi-"
"Y/n." He repeats, his voice broken. And for a second I was sure I saw a glossy look in his eyes.
"It's not good for either of us. I want to break up." I finally get to the point.
He lets go of my hands, turning his back to me and taking a few steps away before turning back to me, "Is it my hair? My voice? My clothes? I'll change!" He places his hands on the back of his neck, "Y/n, you're the first girl I've ever loved! I might be a bit of a dick, but you know that it's a facade!" He attempts to persuade me, and it does make me feel extremely guilty.
I feel a tear run down my cheek, "Joe, it's not you! You don't need to change anything, I'm sure all the girls back at the dorm are crushing on you." I giggle in an attempt to lighten the mood before I continue, "I just don't feel the way I did before. Maybe we can keep in touch?" I ask in the hope to soothe his broken heart.
He simply nods in return, taking a couple of steps closer to me and taking my hands, resting his forehead on mine, "I love you, Y/n. Goodbye." He finishes, walking down the stairs, not turning back to look at me until he's in his car.
I wave my now ex-boyfriend goodbye and slowly walk my way back to the dormitories. I wander throughout the hallway until I find myself at Dana's door. I raise my hand and knock, a few seconds pass and I'm greeted by somebody I wasn't expecting to see.
"Yo Y/n! You good there bro?" Trevor, greets me.
I sloppily wipe my hand across my face, "Yeah, I need to speak to Dana. You here for the flash drive?" I question, a bit confused as to why he was here of all places.
"Uh," He slowly opens the door revealing a shocked Dana, "I scored!" He whispers to me with joy. I break down, my mind completely shut down.
"Nice, Trev. I'll just- uh, come back later." I try to smile, as I begin to walk to my own room, Dana, rushes out the door reaching for my shoulder. I completely give up, shoving her off, abandoning her outside of my door.
She continues to knock on my door, useless words passed through that are pure white noise to me at this point. It carries on for the next ten minutes or so, and when it does finally die down, I stand next to the door letting my head fall onto the rough wood. "I left him for you Dana." I inform her between sobs, "I left him for you." I repeat. "I was the first person he ever loved, and he was the first person I ever loved. And I left him for you." I hang onto that one phrase, still taken back by the events.
"I left him for you." One last time, before I completely break down against the door.
16 notes · View notes
volfoss · 2 years
Text
hi teehee kof rant (mai centric bc i have a problem etc) below the cut and all that
burden of being a mai fan is having to see a million horrible pieces of content in each kof game (and fatal fury too my god) but it genuinely drives me insane how they write her in a lot of the games. like its 50% of the woah shes a conventionally attractive woman and thats all the character development and depth shes given. Any other time its just maybe 45% "kyaa andy" and 5% lets have her have a nice time w her team. now like. im biased due to hating andy (due to how he really treats her a lot of the time and just how her character is so so based around him instead of letting her be an actual character)
now i know that its like a part of her character that shes super in love w andy and SUPER feminine (other than the ending for fatal fury special where she remarks that she needs to be less masculine) but it really feels like SNK just poured all the budget and effort into seeing how sexy they could make her/the physics of her animation (again iykyk). esp considering her development section on the wiki (of heres who her boobs and ass are based off of, how when they introduced her ""swaying bosom", the developers were awestruck". like i understand fully that they are trying to yk. make her a sex symbol (which worked a little too well imo). it really bled into how a fair bit of fans treat her as just a hot body and never really consider her personality or literally anything other than how her clothes fit or how they can make her outfit worse.
but it really to me feels that the devs were like ok. 4 traits should work: mean to other women sometimes (mostly over appearance), SUPER irrational (which i dont believe but im also like. overthinking pro here, ill elaborate later if i remember), in LOVE with andy, and hot. occasionally they try and throw in a bimbo angle. i feel they really ignore a lot of things they COULD touch on (ie literally ANYTHING with her past, how she gets along w literally anyone on andys team outside of andy (we again. get tiny hints of it but rly not much), or literally ANYTHING outside of the few traits we very vaguely get.
so many of her endings are just either SO andy centric or just her getting drunk. and thats literally it. not even to get into the team stories which are normally a bit better (96's has made me INSANE for weeks tho) but esp 99, that was really disappointing. that one really felt like they were treating her as a footnote and butt of the joke (which happens a lot of people being like wow girl you are crazy about andy) but it feels like in some of the endings (2003 comes to mind, where you get a tiny hint of woah theyre putting in that she cares about her friends and then its like no lol actually its just all about andy)
again i understand how the way that she is written doesnt really allow for a really good read on her as a character (her personality section on the wiki is fucking abysmal. tldr of it is wow shes cheerful, 2 full paragraphs dedicated to how much she loves andy, shes a "traditional and ideal japanese beauty" and like. a tiny note on how she gets along w the womens team/terry and joe). but she really does have more than that of just genuinely being a very kind person and very goofy, as well as a very talented and dedicated person.
so what rly irks me (this is not number one but girls need to get their thoughts on her past out somehow and by god im doing it here) is how her past isnt really ever touched on except for tiny hints here and there. sure we get info on how her grandfather trained her and the tiniest inkling of stuff on her parents (that theyre dead) and how andy came to train with her grandfather when they were both pretty young. but they really dont ever elaborate on how her grandfather basically passing all of her training off to his friend (who is yk. a canonical creep and lecherous old man trope to a T) and training andy impacted her. we never learn how she handled her parents death. or even her grandparents death. or even the enormous weight of being the last shiranui ninja. its all focused on wow lol she fell in love w andy super early on and thats IT really. MI2 (pretty sure. might have been MI 1) does go into a tiny bit of detail on her grandfather training her to move silently and bribing her into that with anything she really ever wanted, and how that even impacted her with the beginning of MI2, where she uses training from her grandfather to throw the letter at Andy, catching him by surprise. but we really dont get a lot of introspection on that in really any of the mainline games (or manga that ive read, all of the ones ive read just have her plotlines be the same as the game (of half andy and half woah hot lady)
not to mention again in the 96 team stories, she mentions that after King says she also cannot participate in KOF, she says this:
Tumblr media
^ which literally lines that drive me insane that they NEVER elaborate on. surely her childhood had to be lonely with her being an only child (presumably) and it not really mentioning any friends she has outside of the womens team and a TINY bit of terry and joe. which god. there could have been SO much potential with her and terrys relationship. we literally could have had besties but instead its normally used for a joke of wow mai is SO scary about andy oh nooo. and same w joe. i think tbh the fatal fury movie honestly nailed how i would have their relationship in an ideal world, with them just teasing each other and being a bit bitchy but in a fun friendship way yk?
in regards to the womens team i do normally enjoy how they handle the stuff with her and them, its VERY clear she cares about and loves yuri and king, and even chizuru (i hold the 96 ending SO close to my heart tbh) and just literally if they could pass the bechdel test for literally once in their life, it would be ideal.
mai just genuinely has a lot of potential in terms of writing and literally if u just go through her quotes its just really clear to see she doesnt get that potential ever explored (esp in some of the fatal fury stuff, where shes having to fend men off from touching her or hitting on her.)
tldr snk hire me i understand her etc
16 notes · View notes