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rollercoasterwrite · 4 years

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I’m So Curious [Chapter 2]

CHAPTER 1

Prompt : Jjong is a college student with tight money, but manages to get into a prestigious uni where he becomes friends with Taemin. One day, Tae asks him to go out on a blind date with his cousin Jinki, a notable lawyer who still hesitates about dating someone. Jjong refuses, but the amount of money Tae offers is a sight he can’t ignore. Jinki adores him immediately and after several dates, Jonghyun falls in love with Jinki, but he doesn’t know how to tell Jinki about his agreement with Tae.

Pairing : Jongyu

Genre : romance, fluff, angst, smut (eventually)

Word Count : 9 400 ~

Links : AFF & AO3

Special thanks to Cheryl, my beta once again!!!

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If Jonghyun had thought he could've had a peaceful morning after having a troubled night of sleep, he realized he was gravely mistaken.

Loud knocks fell rhythmically against his dorm room's door like a hammer hitting a nail repeatedly, the sound instantly awakening his rage impulse.

He gave the door a death stare it didn't deserve before walking towards it, not even minding that he was only clad in short briefs.

"What?!" he burst out as the door swung open from his forceful pull.

The intent of his demeanour was miserably lost on the young brunette that stood before him. The latter just walked in as if he owned the place, wasting no time settling comfortably on the living room's small couch.

Jonghyun's gaze followed, watching as the other casually hooked a leg over the seat's arm before looking straight at him.

"Did you guys fuck?"

The question dropped without notice, completely throwing off the blonde's stubborn grumpiness.

"Excuse me?" he let out in a voice that crescendoed from sheer astonishment.

"Why don't you start by closing the door," the other said, unbothered. "Unless you want everyone to know your business."

Jonghyun's bewildered look moved away from the other for the length of time it took to shut and lock the door before he brought it back on him.

"What's your fucking deal?" he voiced as frustration grew back into his tone.

"Don't get mad at me," the younger one replied, scoffing. "Taemin said you went on a date with his cousin, so I wanted to be the first to get the crunchy details."

A feline smile stretched across bowed lips as surprise read boldly on the blonde's face.

"Taemin told you?" the latter asked.

"Didn't you hear my opening question?" the brunette reminded with a frown.

Jonghyun frowned back in confusion before his face slowly relaxed.

"That isn't any of your business," he said, opting for a casual tone this time.

"Well yes, it is," the other countered. "Who else are you going to share this with? It's not like you are going to tell Taemin how good or how bad sex was with his cousin."

Jonghyun gave him a stone-hard look.

"Taemin just wanted me to go on a date with the guy, don't get shit twisted."

"You mean he paid you to go on a date," the brunette corrected. "So you had to put out."

That was enough to make the blonde's blood boil hot. "Kibum," he gritted menacingly. "Get out." "Come on, Jjong," his friend maintained in a calm tone. "I'm not gonna make fun, I just want to know if you had a good time." Jonghyun knew better than to trust those words. "I'm not telling you jack shit." Kibum's face hardened. Cold eyes silently battled with fiery ones before it became clear that a strategic retreat was the best course of action. "Fine," the younger one curtly said. He got back up on his two feet and promptly walked past the other, making sure to slam the door on his way out. A loud sigh left the blonde's mouth before he rubbed some of the tension off his face. It wasn't even 9 am yet and he already felt like the day was dragging on too long. But that wasn't anything new. The only thing that could help revive his functioning corpse was a fresh brew. Not wasting another second on thoughts, he moved to the small space that acted as a kitchen and got his small coffee machine running. As the strong and comforting smell filled the air, Jonghyun closed his eyes, trying to catch a break from everything.

But that was probably the worst thing he could’ve done at that moment. The very image that had played hide and seek with his mind for the past few hours came right at him with vivid details that made his chest and core tighten. His eyes shot open before that sensation could travel any lower.

He reached for one of his cupboard’s handle with a slightly trembling hand and pulled out his favorite mug. It was a light cream-colored mug that was a bit chipped at the rim and had a stained bottom, but it was a memento of moments from the past that he didn’t see himself being able to let go of. Not yet.

He filled it to the brim with the steaming hot liquid, enjoying the stark contrast between the colors. Cream and dark brown met against the fullest of his lips, the softest of inhales giving him a first taste of his favorite remedy. His face inevitably warmed up from the waves of heat that ran out through the tight space created by his hunched stance over his cup. It was then that he sunk in, plunging mouth first into the rich and dark pool that floated before him. Taking the dive had never felt better than in that moment.

A few invigorating laps in, he turned towards his living room to look out through the window. The day was a cloudy one, prefacing possible outbursts of rain. If it were anyone else, that might’ve been a depressing sight, but to Jonghyun it was comforting. He felt his shoulders relax as his eyes stilled on the scenery.

This moment could’ve been perfect in every way, but peace seemed to always be too much to ask for in Jonghyun’s world. Another series of knocks on his door jolted him back into a tense state.

I swear to fucking God…

He had the good sense to put down his cup on the counter before marching back towards the front door to tell his friend off.

"Go away, Kibum," he yelled at the closed door.

A muffled titter reached him from the other side. "Hyung, it’s not Bummie."

At that, Jonghyun felt a stab of anxiety. "Um… I’m… I’m… naked."

"So? I’ve seen your dick before," the other said, raising his voice to be heard.

The blonde had to close his eyes and take a deep breath not to feed into his murderous urges. He knew if he kept arguing through the door, more embarrassing things would probably come out of the other’s mouth, so he had to settle on opening the door. Even if that was literally the last thing he wanted to do right now.

He had barely pulled it open when he felt himself stumble backwards from the force of another body launching forward into him. A thumping sound reverberated from their chests colliding as arms wrapped tightly around his bare torso.

"Get off of me," he ordered, voice muffled from the shock of hair that pressed against part of his face.

The grip around him just got tighter, almost cutting off his breath, and for a moment there, he wondered if this was turning into an attempt on his life. Fortunately, it didn’t get to that as the other let go and stepped back. The grin he was sporting between his full cheeks didn’t feel even slightly reassuring to the blonde.

"What are you smiling about?" the latter asked, nervous.

If it was even possible the brunette’s smile grew even wider. He looked like he was about to burst into a million particles from how frantic his energy felt.

"I knew it!" Taemin finally exploded as he threw his arms up in victory.

Jonghyun cocked a brow, confused. "You knew what?"

There was a pause as the other looked him up and down with a narrowed gaze.

"You said you were naked," Taemin reminded, frown drawing his eyebrows close.

"I lied," Jonghyun admitted.

The brunette’s mouth dropped open as the crease grew deeper between his eyes.

"Why would you do that?"

A visible contraction ran through the blonde’s jaw. "I just wanted to have a peaceful morning, but I guess that was too much to ask for."

With that, he walked back to the counter and picked up his mug, determined to at least enjoy a nice cup of coffee.

"Can you please close the door?" Jonghyun asked as he glanced at the slight opening that remained.

The younger one did just that before taking a few steps towards him.

"I didn’t mean to disturb your peace," Taemin said in a more subdued tone. "I was just really excited to share the good news. "

"And what would that be?" Jonghyun inquired, gripping his mug closer.

Taemin’s lips stretched into a smile again. " He likes you, like a lot. "

And right on cue, Jonghyun’s heart flipped.

Shit.

"Who’s he?" he feigned in a measly attempt to remain in denial.

Taemin crossed his arms, unamused. "For real, now?"

Jonghyun didn’t budge, focusing instead on getting more coffee into his system.

"You know very well who I’m talking about," Taemin stated before his eyes zeroed in on the other’s cup.

"Are you not going to offer me some coffee?" he said, lips curling into a pout.

"Are you not going to finish what you were saying?" Jonghyun echoed, baffled by the sudden change of topic.

"Oh, so you’re interested now?" the younger one fired back.

A staring contest ensued, which the blonde conveniently abandoned to grab another mug from the cupboard. He filled it with what had remained in the coffee pot and handed it to his friend who, in the meantime, had wiggled his way closer.

"Thank you, Jjongie," the latter cooed as he bounced lightly on his feet.

Jonghyun watched as he took a long first sip, taking that lull in conversation to mentally prepare for what was to come. He really wished he had had his much needed alone time to sort things out.

Feeling like his body would need assistance soon, he moved to the couch and slowly settled onto one of the soft cushions. Of course, that meant being copied two minutes later by the other one who sat right beside him. Jonghyun held in an annoyed sigh.

"So, are you ready to talk about this now?" the brunette verified as he shifted his body aslant to better look at him.

"Yeah, whatever," Jonghyun answered, shoulders inadvertently hunching over.

"What did you think of him?" Taemin immediately asked.

The blonde’s eyes flicked sideways to catch the other’s face before he reverted to the comforting sight of his filled mug. His mind felt jumbled and whenever that happened, there was a risk he’d say something he would regret. He couldn’t afford that right now. He was naked enough as it was.

"He’s… nice," he finally chose. The simplest answer was surely his best option right now.

Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to suffice for his friend.

"Nice?" Taemin threw back with a cocked brow.

"Yeah," Jonghyun maintained before bringing his cup to his lips again.

"Anything else?" the younger one went on.

"Nope."

A sigh followed, but much to the blonde’s surprise, it sounded like a sigh of relief.

"I fucking knew it," his friend let out.

Jonghyun couldn’t help but look straight at him with a deep frown now creasing his forehead.

"Can you stop with that? What the hell does that even mean?" he snapped as he took in the victorious smile that graced the other’s face.

"You like him too," Taemin sing-songed like an elementary school kid.

"How did you pick that up from me saying he’s nice?"

"I know you too well, Hyung," the other stated. "If you hadn’t enjoyed his company, the first thing that would’ve come out of your mouth would’ve been something negative."

Jonghyun’s mouth dropped open before he shut it tight, his eyes then narrowing into a hateful stare.

The only effect that had was to make the brunette burst out laughing in his characteristic hiccupy laugh, almost spilling some of his coffee over in the process.

"Am I wrong?" he managed to say through his fit.

Jonghyun wished a simple yes could’ve settled the whole matter, but he also knew how bad he was at lying and how pointless it was at this point. That didn’t mean he had to outright admit though.

His stubborn silence had the other getting right back at it.

"I know you won’t just admit to it, but still, I’m happy things went well between you two," he said, voice sincere.

"Also," he added. "I’ve already made the transfer to your account," he casually informed before taking a sip.

That instantly pulled the blonde out of his muteness.

"Tae… I can’t, " he uttered, uncomfortable.

"We already discussed this…"

"Yeah, I know, but… it feels wrong."

The guilt which sprung up through his chest made his head fall forward, his gaze landing straight on his bare thighs.

"It’s really not a big deal," Taemin dismissed. "Anyway, it’s not like I’ll be paying you every time or something."

"Every time?" Jonghyun promptly reacted as he straightened up again. "What do you think this is?"

A sly smile stretched across the brunette’s lips. "Oh, I don’t know. You tell me."

Jonghyun gave him a bewildered look. "You’re not making any damn sense."

"I don’t need to, as long as I get what I mean that’s enough," the younger one indicated with a shrug.

"In any case," he continued as he put down his cup on the small coffee table before them. "Jinki said he’d be texting you later today, just so you know."

The blonde felt goosebumps prickle his skin.

"I’m sure you have nothing to do with that," he scoffed, partly to divert himself from his body’s betrayal.

The brunette chuckled. "I actually didn’t have to say much." A mischievous smile played on his lips. "One thing you have to know about Jinki is that when he wants something, he is very stubborn about getting it."

Upon hearing those words, Jonghyun’s first impulse was to scream, but he miraculously managed to keep it together despite the shiver that ran through him.

"Why does that remind me of someone?" he said as naturally as he could.

Taemin laughed. "Oh, I don’t know. "

He then pushed himself back up on his two feet. "I’ll let you enjoy the rest of your morning, Hyung. I gotta meet up with Jongin to practice."

Jonghyun frowned at him. "Again?"

"Well, yeah. We have a choreo to present in contemp’ class this Friday," he quickly defended.

Jonghyun gave him an unimpressed look before deciding that now wasn’t the time to force the issue.

"Yeah, okay, have fun."

He felt the other’s lingering gaze on him as he drank more coffee, but deliberately ignored it. A second later, he heard him mutter something under his breath, but didn’t make any move to show that he cared.

As expected, his demeanour prompted the brunette to leave his dorm without another word, but surprisingly, his door wasn’t slammed shut on his way out.

Jonghyun let out a long sigh as he looked around his living space.

All for a peaceful morning…

***

If Jonghyun had hoped that things would settle, he was once again gravely mistaken. He couldn’t even fault anyone other than himself this time. The inner turmoil he had been experiencing lately wasn’t anything less than strange.

Jonghyun wasn’t one to run after people or be particularly needy. Life had shown him that his best support system was himself and he had chosen to live his life in alignment with that lesson. The friends he had now had been made through a fortunate chain of circumstances that he was very grateful for, but in the back of his mind, he never felt like these relationships could persist over the long haul. He had always believed that he would end up going through life alone. The thought wasn’t even a dark assessment of his life; it just felt like the natural course of things.

That’s why the moment he found himself feeling something that could be categorized as neediness, he felt unsettled. Did he enjoy having company? Yes. Sometimes. Did he miss his friends when they didn’t get to hang out in a while? Yes. Sometimes. Did he ever feel like there was a void if he didn’t get to see other people? No. Not really.

So again, he couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that he was feeling like an abandoned pup right now. It had been five days since Jinki should’ve supposedly texted him and he still hadn’t gotten any news. At first, he had chalked that up to the fact that Taemin had probably mislead him to mess with his head a bit, but by day three, he genuinely started to feel worried and insecure. What if Jinki had just been polite and hadn’t really enjoyed his company?

By now, he had probably had that thought a million times and every time, it felt like a soft stab to his chest. The day before, he had even thought of getting some information through Taemin, but at the last minute, he had buried his words down his throat, still determined on saving face. It was a good thing for his ego, but not so much for his current emotional balance. His eyes had now been glued to his phone for the last ten minutes, distracting him from the composition he had been trying to work on for the past few days. Something he cared about so much was now falling by the wayside because of irrational impulses.

The vibrant blue sky that had graced the day was now morphing into darker shades and soon enough, another day would’ve passed without him getting any kind of relief from his inexplicable predicament. He felt screwed in so many ways, apart from the way he was probably needy for. Jonghyun didn’t do emotional connection, but he did find himself in dire need of physical touch a lot of times. He wasn’t very vocal about it, but it was still very present nonetheless. Popping in some porn and jerking off to it before bed usually did the trick, but even that hadn’t been effective in the past few days.

He had jerked off, but his fuel hadn’t been some mindless porn plot. It had been something very real, but also very foreign. What was becoming clear in his mind was that if things kept up in the way they had, he’d probably have to call up Taemin again. And he certainly didn’t want to have to resort to that.

God… what is wrong with me?

He threw his phone on the empty cushion beside him before picking it right back up two seconds later.

Nothing new.

He groaned loudly at his own pathetic behaviour as his hand clenched tightly around the small device.

Damn you, Tae.

Jonghyun had been perfectly fine with the balance he had before. Was he working himself too hard? Probably. But he was staying focused and disciplined. Now those words felt like a joke to him.

His eyes shut as he took a few deep breaths to settle himself a bit. The exercise was enough to create some much needed mind space. Space that was soon filled with the only solution that could calm his nerves and turmoil.

Call him.

Of course, it was easier said than done, but after another five minutes of internal debate, he stopped fighting.

The loop of rings that reverberated against his eardrum brought his heart rate to a frighteningly high speed and for a moment there, he thought he wouldn’t make it, but the voice suddenly cutting through monopolized his focus.

"Jonghyun?"

The one in question swallowed, simultaneously realizing how dry his throat had become.

"Hello?"

He would be lying if he said he wasn’t thinking about hanging up right this instant, but something stronger than his fear prevented him from doing just that.

"Yes, it’s me."

Jonghyun heard his smile on the other end.

"Was just making sure," Jinki replied. "How are you?"

I’m just about to lose my fucking mind, but I’m good and you?

"I’m fine… I was just… doing some stuff for school," he voiced, feeling awkward.

"And you?"

"Well, first, I’m glad you’re fine," the other said. "Secondly, I could give you my ready-to-go answer or a real answer. Which one do you feel up for?"

"The real one, of course," Jonghyun immediately answered.

"Well…" A sigh followed. "I’ve been swamped with this new case and it’s really not given me any time to breathe. At first, I thought it could just be solved with an easy settlement, but now it’s just a complicated mess..." A longer sigh left him this time.

Guilt weighed on the blonde’s chest at that. He had been so wrapped up in his selfish needs that he hadn’t thought for a minute that the other might’ve had a good excuse for not calling back.

"I’m so sorry you’ve been overwhelmed by that," he offered.

"It’s fine, really," the other immediately said in return. "I’ve been through this type of madness so many times before." He then laughed.

"Still, I hope your workload will lighten up soon."

"I hope so too."

The inevitable awkward silence crept in in that moment, leaving Jonghyun in the face of his pitiful previous behavior.

"I didn’t want to bother you," he started, shameful. "I just…"

Nothing seemed justifiable enough to explain himself.

"Don’t worry about it," Jinki reassured. "I’m glad you called actually. I’ve been feeling guilty about not calling you back like I’d promised."

"But I was going to…" he immediately added. "I just wanted to have more time…"

"I get it," Jonghyun acknowledged, his shoulders relaxing from the relief of not having been forgotten.

"I’m glad you do and I’m sorry," the other said.

"Don’t worry about it,"Jonghyun reassured.

"No, but really, it’s not okay," Jinki went on. "I should’ve taken a few minutes to call you."

"What can I do to make this right again?" he then asked.

Jonghyun felt himself get warm all over. Why is he being like this?

A bunch of ideas popped up in response to his question, but ultimately, they all came down to one thing.

"I’d just like to see you, to be honest."

These words had probably not seen the light more than five times throughout his whole life, but in this moment, it felt like there was no better way to express what he wanted.

"Ah, well," a brief pause ensued, "I can definitely do something about that."

His voice felt like a soft caress against Jonghyun’s ear and he had to bite his lip to prevent any inappropriate sound from leaving him.

"Actually…" the brunette continued. "I’ve been thinking about having ice cream all day and I could definitely use a break right now."

Jonghyun frowned, not sure he was following. "You mean…"

"I mean let’s go eat some ice cream together," the older one reiterated in a cheerful tone.

"Unless, you don’t like ice cream, which would be totally fine too," he immediately added.

"No, no, I like ice cream," Jonghyun confirmed with a bit too much enthusiasm. He noticed immediately, making a mental note to himself to reel it in.

"But what happened with not stress eating?" he couldn’t help but ask, his teasing nature never too far behind.

The brunette snorted. "Pardon my language, but fuck that."

Jonghyun’s eyes widened as a familiar pang hit his stomach.

If he curses again, I’m fucked.

"Amen to that," he played along with a small laugh.

Jinki joined in before speaking again. "In what area do you live?"

"I live on campus," Jonghyun answered.

"Oh," the other exclaimed in surprise. "It’s actually not too far from where I work… maybe fifteen minutes or so," he informed.

Jonghyun found himself feeling a bit too happy about that fact and had to make another mental note to himself to calm the fuck down.

"I’ll just check real quick if there is an ice-cream parlor not far from there," Jinki indicated before falling into silence.

Jonghyun quietly waited, just now noticing the queasy feeling in his stomach that came around whenever he was nervous or uneasy.

Fortunately, he didn’t have to sit with it long.

"Okay, there is one at about a ten-minute walking distance from the campus," Jinki reprised. "Is that okay for you?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Okay, so I’ll text you the address," the older one settled.

"Good."

"I should be there in half an hour."

"Great."

"Okay, so see you soon," Jinki concluded with a smile that didn’t fail to translate at the other end.

"See you soon," Jonghyun reciprocated, a bit more subdued.

As soon as the line cut off, he flopped onto the couch, already overwhelmed by that bit of interaction.

He closed his eyes for a while, just trying to recover. After what seemed like an eternity, he reopened them and finally made a move to get ready. He didn’t have too much time, so he went straight to his room to get changed. He took off his hoodie, his cap and sweatpants and looked through his rack of clothes to pick out something more appropriate for the circumstances.

Jonghyun always chose comfort over style, but he still felt the pressure of making a good impression on the other. He knew there was no need to go all out like last time, but he could definitely put in more effort than he usually would.

As he looked through his items of clothing again and again, he couldn’t help but wish Kibum was there to help him out. Unfortunately, they still weren’t on speaking terms if the looks of hatred he had received from the other in the hallways were any indication. Jonghyun definitely had the luck of befriending the most stubborn people in the world.

After a few more minutes, he finally settled on a loose-fitting grey shirt and dark jeans that were ripped at the knees. He wasn’t sure it was the best choice, but in the end, that’s all he could agree with himself to wear. He completed the look with his black Timbs, thinking to himself that it was the perfect compromise between his worn-out Converses and his classier shoes. Lastly, he ran a hand a few times through his hair, managing to tame some unruly strands that stuck up.

He couldn’t help but linger a bit too long in front of the mirror before realizing he really had to go. He slipped his wallet into one of his back pockets and travelled back to the living room where he picked up his phone again to look at the directions. Not long after, he was out the door. The evening breeze met him a few minutes later, instantly showing him that the warmth they had experienced during the day had now completely disappeared. He had the mind to go back up to get a light jacket, but his fear of being late trumped the need for warmth.

His walk was fast-paced bordering on frantic, so what was supposed to take him ten minutes took him six, leaving him surprised when he found himself standing right in front of the parlor. He took a quick look around to see if Jinki was anywhere in sight, but he didn’t see him. Clearly, he was early, but he did hope the other would arrive soon before his nerves took over completely.

By the time the other finally appeared in his line of vision, he had had the time to envision every possible catastrophe that could occur during their time together. He wanted to be relaxed and enjoy this time, but he felt like he was off to an awful start.

"Am I late?" Jinki asked once he had reached him.

"No, no, I just arrived a little early," Jonghyun reassured before his eyes went on to feast on the sight before him.

The taller one was wearing a marine blue suit that did wonders to his silhouette and his dark bangs covered his forehead this time, giving him a softer, but equally enticing look. But that wasn’t even what had him reeling. It was the fact that the white dress shirt that peaked out underneath wasn’t buttoned all the way up.

He had to wonder if it had been that way all day.

An airy laugh pulled him out of his musings.

"It’s probably not the best outfit to wear to eat ice cream," Jinki noted as their eyes met.

Jonghyun felt his face heat up as he realized he had been caught staring.

"It-it should be fine," he stuttered as he rushed to reply.

But I won’t be, his mind threw at him immediately.

Jinki laughed softly. "I’ve probably lost a few good suits to food by now. One more won’t make a difference."

Jonghyun silently disagreed. No, no, this suit needs to stay.

"The trick is to ask for a cup, not a cone," he advised. "It’s less messy."

A slight pout graced the other’s lips, which didn’t fail to make the blonde’s heart flip.

"Cones are more fun though."

Jonghyun acknowledged that with a nod, not trusting himself to speak right this instant.

"Shall we go in?" Jinki prompted with a lopsided smile.

Jonghyun nodded again and a second later, he was following the taller one towards the entrance. As they stepped in, a small bell attached to the door tinkled above their heads, announcing their arrival to whoever owned the shop. For a few seconds, Jonghyun felt blinded by the bright neon lights, reacting to them with a frown and a wrinkling of his nose, but soon enough, the arrival of a middle-aged woman behind the counter brought his focus elsewhere. The woman greeted them with a pleasant smile and a warm welcome, which they immediately reciprocated.

As they walked over to the display cabinet, Jonghyun noticed the only two other people that were in the shop. It wasn’t hard to see that they were a couple. Their eyes were bound in a loving stare and they were holding each other’s hands, the only thing between them being a melting mountain of sundae.

Usually, he would’ve rolled his eyes at such a sight, but this time, he couldn’t. His stomach tightened and he quickly looked away. He didn’t need to look far for a distraction as his eyes fell on a dozen of colorful tubs of ice cream. Jonghyun still didn’t like that the place was so bright, but he could agree that it was probably the best way to make the products look even more appetizing. He knew that, because despite always sticking to his personal favorite, he now found himself staring at the fruit-flavored ice cream and even at the mint-chocolate chip one, which he had always clowned Taemin for loving.

"What are you getting?" Jinki softly inquired as his gaze stayed fixed on the merchandise.

"I usually always go for Rocky Road, but I’m kinda hesitating right now," Jonghyun admitted. "You?"

"I’m in the same predicament as you are. I always go for Vanilla, but damn… everything looks so good."

The blonde’s eyes tore away from the ice-cream to give the other a judging look.

"Vanilla? Really?" he expressed with barely contained disdain.

Jinki met his scowl with a confused expression on his face. "Well yeah… I like the classics."

"You can’t use that to justify eating Vanilla ice cream," the younger one threw back.

The brunette chuckled at that. "Seems like this is a pretty serious issue for you."

"I mean come on, Vanilla’s just sad," Jonghyun blurted before his mind could catch up.

"And I think Rocky Road’s pretty unsophisticated, but I’m not going to stop you from enjoying it."

The quick jab stunned the blonde momentarily, leaving his expression stuck between surprise and indignation.

A laugh left the other. "What? You can dish it, but you can’t take it?"

Jonghyun’s eyes grew even wider as a result, taken aback by the quick repartee.

So you can be cheeky, huh?

Jinki laughed again. "How about we both choose something different tonight?" he suggested as he looked once more at what was before them.

That effectively snapped the younger one out of his shock. "Mm, sounds good," he agreed.

After a few more minutes of going back and forth between choices, they finally settled and soon after, they were sitting face to face at a table in the back.

"How’s yours?" the taller one asked as he watched Jonghyun have a first taste.

"It’s pretty good actually," the latter said as he nodded at the soft green scoops in his cup.

"I like Pistachio too," Jinki acknowledged before tasting his own.

Jonghyun just stared as the brunette licked off a few layers of ice cream. The hum of pleasure that ensued almost took him out.

"Wow, that’s great," the brunette then let out, impressed. "I guess I can alternate between vanilla and raspberry now, huh?"

Jonghyun couldn’t help but laugh which effectively pulled him out of his trance. "Yeah, it’s good to live dangerously once in a while."

"I guess you’ll have to teach me."

For whatever reason, that made him shiver.

"Ah well… I’m pretty tame, actually," he indicated sheepishly.

"Is that so?" Jinki questioned, gazing straight at him.

Jonghyun wasn’t one to shy away from a look, but the power in those dark orbs was too much for him to handle.

"I think so…" he said as he looked down to his cup again.

That made the other laugh. "That doesn’t sound too convincing."

"Well…" Jonghyun pondered. "It really depends on what you consider dangerous."

His eyes flicked upwards to meet the brunette’s eyes again.

The latter smiled an amused smile. "I’m not much of a risk-taker as you might’ve gathered already, so my definition is probably broader than most people."

Jonghyun’s gaze narrowed with interest. "Even so, you must’ve done something risky once in your life."

JInki’s head lolled from side to side as he mulled over the thought. "I wouldn’t say risky. I just had a rebel phase during my teens like everyone else, but it wasn’t anything special. I just stayed out way past curfew a few times and drank my problems away a little too many times."

The blonde gave a satisfied nod. "That counts."

Jinki scrunched up his nose at that. "No need to give me participation points."

That made Jonghyun burst out laughing and he instinctively brought a hand up to cover his mouth.

"I’m not!" he refuted.

The brunette clicked his tongue before diving once again in his now melting raspberry delight. The ice cream was sliding past his cone and onto his fingers, but he didn’t seem to care.

And Jonghyun certainly didn’t mind either.

"That was pretty much how wild my teens were to be honest," he went on, more so to distract himself from the view before him. "Now that I’m in college, I really don’t have time to be messy or anything."

That made Jinki freeze, leaving his ice cream alone for a moment. "Why don’t I believe you?" he then said with a slight frown.

Jonghyun could feel his face heat up, but he tried to ignore it by going for a shrug.

"I don’t know," he just said.

The brunette squinted at him before his lips slowly stretched into a cryptic smile.

Jonghyun waited for him to voice his thought, but he didn’t, instead moving his focus back on his treat. He had to follow suit as his own ice cream was starting to puddle in its container.

It was another few minutes before Jonghyun was faced with an empty cup and Jinki chewed his way to the last bit of his cone. Not many words had been exchanged between them in the meantime, but Jonghyun couldn’t have found it in him to speak. Not when one of Jinki’s legs suddenly moved to brush against his in a manner that couldn’t be chalked up to coincidence. He had dared to glance at the taller one to get further reassurance, but his face hadn’t given anything away. The brunette had just given him one of his radiant smiles that did nothing to help.

And now that they were done eating and Jinki was wiping his fingers clean with a napkin, Jonghyun had to wonder what was going to happen next.

"I’m just going to stop by the washroom real quick, I’ll be right back," Jinki said, cutting through his musings.

Jonghyun just nodded and watched him walk away, not failing to catch how good his ass looked in his form-fitting pants. Once he disappeared, he let out a deep breath he had apparently been holding longer than necessary before he went back to reviewing his options.

He clearly didn’t want this moment to end, but he also didn’t know where they stood right now. Clearly, Jinki was sending him a message, but he wasn’t confident about his interpretation of it. The slightest touch could mean so much more to him than what it really was. If it weren’t anything serious, he would risk it, but the present circumstance just didn’t feel like any other time.

It felt different. And Jonghyun didn’t know how to handle it.

He spent the remainder of his time alone trying to figure out what he could say or what he could do, but he wasn’t able to come up with a clear plan before the other stepped out of the washroom.

His panicked state must’ve read clearly on his face, because the first thing that came out of the taller one’s mouth as he settled before him once more was, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, totally," Jonghyun lied as he tried to play it cool.

Jinki chuckled. "Good, because I’d like to bring you somewhere."

Jonghyun’s brows furrowed at that. "Somewhere?"

"Yeah," the brunette simply said, smiling. "I don’t want to tell you more, but I’d like for you to say yes."

Was Jonghyun the type to follow someone he barely knew to a location he had no information about?

"Yes," he immediately answered, his heart rate picking up simultaneously.

Apparently, he was.

It wasn’t long before they were back outside, being greeted this time by a pitch-dark sky under which the streetlamps shone with a stark brightness. Their surroundings were pretty much void of any other human life making their walk to the car a peaceful and intimate moment.

Jonghyun was mindlessly walking besides the taller one, deciding that his fate pretty much wasn’t in his hands anymore. He was deliberately taking his hands off the wheel and letting the other take full control. That was something he hadn’t done in a while and the retrieval of that carelessness definitely felt invigorating. But he was doing his best to stay calm and keep his energy under control. Otherwise, he was scared he might blow his chance.

They finally came to a halt after walking down the street for a few minutes, stopping in front of a majestic Rolls-Royce. Jonghyun’s eyes widened at its sheen and pristine look, his mind quickly kicking in to remind him of their difference in status.

His ears caught the other’s laugh, but he was still stunned.

"I made the same face when I first saw it," the brunette shared. "Only to realize with time that it wasn’t that different from any other car."

Jonghyun’s gaze shifted to him, brow cocked. "I’d be really curious to know what you have in mind when you say any other car."

Jinki laughed again. "You probably have a point here. Nonetheless, a car is a car."

Following that, he unlocked the doors and made his way to the driver’s side, leaving Jonghyun to settle into the passenger’s seat.

The blonde let himself slide slowly onto the leather seat, every creak of the material under his weight making him hypervigilant of his every movement.

The brunette’s amused smile let him know that he was probably overdoing it, but he couldn’t help feeling like he was about to fuck something up.

The soft rumble of the car’s engine calmed him a bit as the other’s hands settled on the wheel. It wasn’t long before the vehicle was hitting the road, prompting once again a warning thought in Jonghyun’s mind as to the potential danger that lay in this venture.

He quickly pushed it away and focused his gaze ahead, looking at the buildings and greenery with a blank interest. The way the surroundings were drawing themselves with each passing intersection felt familiar for the first fifteen minutes of the ride, but soon after, the scenery changed.

There were no more buildings to be seen, leaving in their stead open fields stretching on either side of the road. Jonghyun suddenly felt compelled to ask about their whereabouts, but they hadn’t exchanged a word since the beginning of the ride. Now, the silence was a third party that just couldn’t be thrown out the window.

So Jonghyun held his peace, his hands meeting for a fidgeting dance every few minutes as his sharp teeth gnawed at his bottom lip in a pulsing fashion. He didn’t mean to be nervous or suspicious, but if anything, his survival instinct still had a seat at the table.

It was another ten minutes of the same before they left the fields behind to meet with a viaduct that passed over dark depths of water. Only when they reached the end of it, where concrete met land again, did the car slow down before coming to a stop.

That did nothing to help with the blonde’s nerves, but he chose to stay faithful to silence just a bit longer. The other’s soft breathing reached his ear again as the engine fell asleep. Jonghyun dared give a look his way, immediately meeting his eyes in the process.

The brunette smiled as if it were the most natural thing in the world and that was enough to make his shoulders relax a bit.

"I’m sorry if you were expecting something more glamorous," the other uttered somewhat apologetically.

Jonghyun couldn’t help but snort. "I wasn’t, but you do have some explaining to do."

Jinki laughed at that. "Of course, but let’s step out first."

He followed that up with the retrieval of his car keys and the unbuckling of his seatbelt before opening the door and sliding out of his seat. Jonghyun stayed still for a few seconds, still uneasy, before he finally pushed himself to follow him out, the sound of the car doors slamming shut following each other at a second of interval.

It wasn’t long before Jinki was before him, a coy smile now dancing on his lips.

"So, " he started, hands settling deep into his pants’ pockets. "What do you think of this place?"

Jonghyun cocked a brow, perplexed. "Seriously?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, it’s…"

Creepy.

"It’s…" he tried again as his eyes took in the scenery once more.

"Spacious."

The brunette chuckled. "You’re nice for not saying what’s on your mind."

Jonghyun blinked at him as a sudden warmth spread across his face.

"I know it’s not quite paradise on earth, but for me, it’s… a peaceful place," Jinki shared as he moved his gaze to the river that rhythmically danced a few meters from them.

His eyes went back to him again before he added, "I just wanted to share that with you."

Jonghyun’s heart flipped inside his chest right on cue, making it possible for him not to bite his lip.

"How often do you come here?" he asked to move the conversation into more comfortable territory.

"Whenever I need to clear my mind," Jinki informed. "Which can be one or a few times per week, to be honest," he added before smiling again.

But Jonghyun could see sadness in his smile and that was enough to make his heart ache.

"How did you find this place?" he instinctively asked.

"I was trying to escape," Jinki admitted as he leaned back against the side of the car.

A deep crease grew between the blonde’s eyebrows. "Escape from what?"

A soft sigh crossed the taller one’s lips. "From my parents."

"Why? What happened?"

"It was a few years ago…" the brunette prefaced as his gaze fell towards the ground. "I went to theirs for what I thought was just a dinner, but it turned out that they had invited this girl over to introduce us…"

Jonghyun didn’t miss the clench that punctuated the other’s jaw as he fell silent. The memory was clearly painful, making him regret he had asked any further questions.

"We don’t have to talk about this, Jinki," he voiced as his eyes settled with worry on his dark expression.

The shift was instant. The other’s face relaxed and he looked back up, a hand reaching behind his neck to rub it as he smiled again, embarrassed.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get all serious like that," he said.

Jonghyun’s chest tightened. He was aching to give him a hug, to bring him some peace, but he wasn’t sure he could just now.

So, he went for the next best option.

"It’s okay," he reassured as he settled right beside him against the car. He immediately became hyperaware of the closeness between them, making it hard to concentrate on anything else.

"Thank you for sharing this with me," he managed to say as his eyes flicked up to reach the other’s.

He was answered with an intent look that menaced to make him burst into a million pieces.

"Can I be honest with you?" the taller one asked as his body shifted to look straight at him.

Jonghyun’s eyes widened as he took in the little space that was left between their faces, but despite his internal meltdown, he found himself able to nod.

"I really like you."

Jonghyun’s body faltered at that, his chest collapsing under a sharp stab that made him whimper against his will.

"Come again?" the older one teased with a cheeky smile.

A bright blush colored his cheeks, making him want to dig himself into a deep hole right that instant.

"That’s not fair," he grumbled with a small pout. "You can’t just spring stuff like that on people."

"So, you would’ve have preferred I hadn’t said anything?" Jinki said, amused.

Jonghyun retaliated with a punch to his arm, making the taller one burst into laughter.

"Yah, this isn’t funny. That should’ve hurt," he fussed, crossing his arms over his chest in protest.

"How can I not laugh when you’re acting this way?" the brunette pointed out.

"Are you making fun of me?" the blonde threw back.

"Not at all, I just think you’re cute," the other swiftly replied.

Another stab. Followed by a shiver. Jonghyun was pretty sure now that he wouldn’t survive this night.

"Yah, you’re pretty smooth for someone who hasn’t been on the dating scene," he observed, frustrated.

"If my honesty comes off that way, I’ll take that as a compliment," Jinki said with a light shrug.

"But I’m starting to get worried you don’t feel the same way, you’ve just been stalling this whole time…" he remarked with a pout of his own.

Apart from being subjected to one of the cutest sights he had ever seen in his life, Jonghyun also had to deal with his own mind and heart racing like there was no tomorrow.

"I really like you too," he said before he wouldn’t be able to anymore.

"Thank god," Jinki let out as he smiled in utter relief.

Jonghyun frowned. "Are you really surprised? Cause if there’s something I’m not good at it’s being subtle."

The brunette chuckled at that. "I mean, I had my doubts…but it’s always nice to get some type of confirmation."

"I mean it’s really not in my MO to call first," Jonghyun indicated.

That instantly piqued Jinki’s curiosity. "What’s your usual MO then?"

Jonghyun couldn’t help but feel embarrassed at that. "Well, I mean…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "I’m usually the casual encounter type of guy."

"Aah," the other acknowledged with a small laugh before saying, "So, I’m probably going too slow for you, huh? "

The blonde’s eyes widened at that. "No, no, not at all," he uttered in panic. "Like I said, it’s not the same, I-"

A gasp left his mouth as warm hands settled on his hips and pulled him closer. His eyelashes quivered slightly as he then felt them move to the small of his back, holding him tightly in place.

By the way Jinki was looking at him, he knew he wasn’t the only one who wanted so much more right now, but he was still wary of not losing himself just yet.

"Can I kiss you?" the brunette asked against him as his lips inched closer to his, their breaths meeting first before anything else could follow.

Jonghyun was left unable to do anything else other than nod, the warmth emanating from the other’s body almost making him dizzy. Jonghyun was used to encountering hot people, but this man right here was a different kind of hot.

And he got even more confirmation of that as the taller one’s lips captured his with an urge that made his heart thump loudly inside his chest and his eyes flutter closed.

He let himself be kissed without restraint, melting under the feeling of the other’s soft lips claiming his before moaning as he felt his tongue find his with an ease that felt almost too good. The sweet tang of the ice cream flavor he got a taste of only added to his hunger. Instinctively, he brought his arms up around the taller one’s neck, pulling him a bit further down to squeeze him closer, to feel him deeper.

Catching the low groan that elicited from him, Jonghyun returned the kiss more fiercely, wanting to see how close to the edge they could push themselves. They kissed without pause until the limit drew itself at the lack of air in their lungs.

Jinki pulled back first, drawing with his retreat a whine of complaint from the blonde.

The latter quickly resolved his need for more by lolling his head a bit to kiss the brunette’s neck, relishing the shiver that accompanied his ministrations.

"Fuck, Jonghyun…" Jinki breathed against him, fingers digging into his hips again as he tried his hardest not to buck his own forward.

Jonghyun’s lips travelled up to his jaw, giving it a small poignant bite before he pulled back a bit to meet the taller one’s eyes again. The latter’s face was tense, and his eyes had that sheen of desire he was sure could be read in his own.

"Did you also bring me here to fuck, Jinki?" he dared as one of his hands slowly travelled down the other’s covered chest, relishing the softness of the material under his palm.

The brunette’s gaze narrowed just a bit more, focusing on the subtle blush that graced the younger one’s cheeks with a hunger he hadn’t felt in a really long time. If he were to only listen to his dick’s brain, he probably would fuck him right here and then.

And Jonghyun was making it incredibly hard to resist as his hand finally reached his belt and tugged on it with a provocative playfulness.

"So, am I right?"

Jinki’s eyes darted downwards, looking at how close the blonde’s small hand was to his crotch and thinking about how much he wanted it on it. Images of being brought to completion flashed in his mind and he had to bite down hard on his lip not to moan.

Out of precaution for his sanity, he grabbed the other’s hand and moved it away from him.

"Do I look like the kind of guy that would bring you to such a secluded place to fuck?"

Jonghyun shrugged. "I don’t know, you tell me," he said in a tone that had accents of challenge.

"Well, if you must know, my MO’s pretty much the opposite of yours," Jinki informed before chuckling a bit at the frown that drew itself on the smaller one’s pretty features.

"What does that mean?"

Jinki’s laughter died right that moment, unnerving Jonghyun deeply. He didn’t have much time to linger on it though as the brunette’s face came close to his again. Just when he thought he would be granted with the gift of another kiss, the other moved his head slightly, bringing his lips to his ear.

"It means that I like to wait," he whispered before pulling back again.

Jonghyun’s eyes had closed at the sound of his voice, lingering on the undertones of it for a few more seconds before he opened them again. His spine was still tingling from the shiver that had just run through it, leaving him in a heightened state of sensitivity.

He couldn’t help but want to be close to him, to feel more of him, but most of all, he didn’t want to force anything. Despite the way the other had chosen to get his point across, Jonghyun could still feel he was pretty serious about it. Jinki didn’t seem like the type of guy to play around with his words.

"Waiting it is then," Jonghyun acknowledged not without a tinge of disappointment pinching at his heart.

Jinki seemed to pick up on that, because a second later, he was laughing. "Don’t worry, I don’t mean waiting until marriage," he reassured. "I just want to get to know you better first."

Jonghyun felt his heart flutter. "Sure," he simply said as he tried to remain calm.

The brunette smiled softly. "I probably should bring you back home now," he indicated as his gaze travelled around them.

The blonde did the same, only then realizing how dark their surroundings had become.

"Yeah, okay," he agreed.

A few seconds later, they were back in the car, fastening their seatbelts, before Jinki had the engine running again.

The ride back seemed to pass by a lot quicker even though they fell into the same shared silence as before.

As they crossed into familiar territory again, Jonghyun started bracing himself for the moment when they’d have to say goodbye. His neediness for the other still felt incredibly odd, but he just couldn’t help it.

The thought of asking him to come up to his dorm crossed his mind, but when the car finally stopped in front of his building, he felt stupid for it. He could wait a little more.

"I’m really happy we got to spend the evening together, Jonghyun," Jinki said as he smiled at him once more.

"Me, too," Jonghyun echoed as he unbuckled his seatbelt. "Thank you for bringing me back home."

"It’s the least I could do after bringing you out to nowhere," the other replied, laughing.

Jonghyun couldn’t help but join in. "I suppose. " He then looked down to his hands, thinking. "Since you showed me something significant for you tonight, maybe next time, I could do the same?" he proposed, a little nervous.

A slight push of the other’s hand under his chin had him looking right into his eyes again.

"I didn’t do that to put pressure on you. We can just go with the flow, really," Jinki said before bringing the same hand up to his cheek to give it a soft caress.

Jonghyun’s eyes closed again, trying to grasp every delineation of his touch. "Okay," he gently uttered under his breath.

Once he let himself meet his eyes again, he couldn’t help but want just a little more.

"Can I get a goodnight kiss?" he asked, somewhat embarrassed.

Jinki nodded before inching closer to him. Jonghyun sighed as their lips met in a soft, slow kiss, his heart rate picking up greatly from the feel of it.

It almost felt like a tragedy when the other pulled back to create a small window of space between them.

"I’ll call you soon, for real this time," Jinki promised before leaving a quick peck on his lips.

Jonghyun nodded in turn and waited for the other to settle back comfortably into his seat before finally making a move to step out.

It was only when he was up and standing on the sidewalk after watching the other drive away that he realized how much he was already addicted to this man.

And that was definitely a problem.

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hwarang-number · 4 years

Text

[Fic] The Distance Between You and Me (Pt 1)

Pairing: Jonghyun/Minho (Jongho)

Rating: T (at the moment; may change with Pt 2)

Word Count: 5,112

Summary: The moon loved a herdsboy: a sun-bronzed youth with eyes like dark stars, set in a face so beautiful that Jonghyun (for such was the name of the moon, or rather the god who embodied it) lay his head upon his arms and wept at the thought of it. Myth!AU written for Jjong’s Month 2020.

A/N: I’m painfully new to SHINee fic, so I’m certain this must be an overdone trope/prompt, but when I read “write a one-shot titled after one of [Jonghyun’s] songs or lyrics (can also be songs he wrote for SHINee or other artists),” all I could think of was “Selene,” with moon!Jonghyun/shepherd!Minho. Because I’m so new to this and had so little time, I leaned heavily on my established writing style from previous fandoms/projects, which I fear may have resulted in a terribly cheesy end product. But I really wanted to at least try after a dear writer friend expressed her excitement at the prospect of me writing such a fic. <3

I was really pressing to get this whole thing done in time (it was intended to be a oneshot and will eventually be posted to AO3/AFF as such), but the past month has been a non-stop string of personal crises and it just wasn’t happening, no matter how hard I tried. :( I’ve written about half of Pt 2 and am hoping to get it finished and posted within a couple of weeks; in the meantime: please forgive typos/clumsy wordage/other glitches (my brain has been short-circuiting of late with stress and lack of sleep).

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The moon loved a herdsboy: a sun-bronzed youth with eyes like dark stars, set in a face so beautiful that Jonghyun (for such was the name of the moon, or rather the god who embodied it) lay his head upon his arms and wept at the thought of it. The youth was lean and long-limbed, his body shaped for finer pastimes than the pursuit of wayward goats, and wore his hair tied at the nape with a scrap of red ribbon.

Such ribbons were easily caught upon branches or tugged free by the impish breeze who admired the herdsboy in his turn – and the fall of soft black hair about that handsome face – and Jonghyun kept a treasure box of them behind a loose stone on the back of his altar, the most precious of which still bore strands of long black hair.

In winter, the herdsboy wound a length of coarse wool about his throat and wrapped his long, beautiful legs with goatskins against the chill of wind and snow.

He was a merry youth, laughing often – at the antics of children or the foolishness of his goats – in an unlikely, high-pitched tremolo that doubled him over and as often as not, sent him tumbling to the ground, clutching his stomach in mirth, and Jonghyun could never hear enough of it. And each night the boy crooned to his flock in the gentlest voice Jonghyun had heard in centuries of surveying the earth: husky and low and so impossibly sweet that it stilled the breath in the moon god’s lungs and brought tears to his eyes.

He was – everything.

And were the rest insufficient: the youth was devout, attending Jonghyun’s temple daily with a plump skin of his richest milk for the priestesses, who blushed at his smiles and silently lamented their vows, and he routinely brought the prettiest and most docile of his goat kids for them to rear and make pets of.

His hut lay hard-by Jonghyun’s temple, and every eve he stabled his goats just before sunset and returned to lay some additional token upon the altar before Jonghyun ascended to illuminate the night sky. A handful of berries still warm from his palm, a piece of honeycomb wrapped in green leaves, or perhaps a soft goat cheese rolled in lavender; some small edible to help sustain the moon ere he began his night’s work.

And every evening Jonghyun waited, lovesick and trembling in the shadows behind his altar, ever aching to rise and peer over the stone a heartbeat sooner, to catch a glimpse of the herdsboy’s large, lustrous eyes instead of his lean silhouette and the bob of his hair tail – for he always, endearingly, tidied his appearance before entering the temple – as he made his way home.

Jonghyun had so little with which to demonstrate his favor and was afraid to make a spectacle of it, and so each night he lingered a little longer above the herdsboy’s hut, as though he could saturate the thatch with the silver light of his adoration and the boy would welcome it.

This was the very essence of foolishness, for the boy cherished his slumber and begrudged any interruption of it, but on the very best nights, when the sky was clear of clouds and Jonghyun’s pale light illumined the landscape as brightly as day, the boy would leave his hut to bathe in the nearby stream, which flowed beneath Jonghyun’s temple and kept it cool throughout the summer. Caught in moonlight, water shimmered like diamonds along every contour of that long, lean body, and Jonghyun keened with longing to trace the paths of those drops with his fingertips and lap them up where they pooled in the shadowy hollows of the youth’s form.

Kibum, naturally, found his agony ridiculous.

Bed him, for pity’s sake, the sun urged his brother in exasperation. Slip beneath his coverlets at dawn and rouse him with kisses, or court him properly and make him your consort. There’s no law against it, neither for you nor the boy.

But Jonghyun knew better. While it was nowhere forbidden for god nor mortal to take another man for a lover – indeed, Kibum had enjoyed many such already – a mortal man wanted a bride and babes: a beautiful woman to share his bed and keep his home and birth his children; a legacy of his own body.

The herdsboy was of age to be married, some four winters now, and while maidens openly admired his face and form and he had received suits from many hopeful fathers-in-law, he had yet to choose a bride.

Clearly, only the rarest beauty would do for him.

Jonghyun found himself waning sooner and longer, his slim body growing thinner still, and one morning just before dawn, a scowling Kibum took the reins from his hand and replaced them with a stout, steaming elixir.

The people fear that the moon is displeased – or ailing, he warned. The spring festival is scarcely a fortnight hence. Sleep now, fortify yourself, and find some way to demonstrate your favor, and swiftly.

I’ll blossom the apples for you, Kibum offered, laying an uncommonly gentle hand on his brother’s shoulder and pressing a kiss to his brow. But you must act on this boy or put him behind you. The very earth feels the pull of your longing; surely this herdsboy cannot be immune to it.

But he was; surely he was, for each day the herdsboy smiled brightly as ever as he led his goats to pasture and back again, cheerful and whistling and thoroughly unaffected. Perhaps his offerings had grown a little heartier – he left a cheese every day now, for it was too early for any wild fruits, as well as an apple or pear from his winter store and sometimes even a small loaf of coarse bread, made by his own strong hands – but this was easily attributed to his devotion to the moon god. Others had also cautiously increased their offerings, for while Jonghyun was not known as a wrathful being – indeed, he could afflict mankind little more than by ceasing to shine at night, something he did once every 28 days regardless – Kibum had spoken truly, and there was uncertainty and concern at his present, prolonged waning.

Wearied by Kibum’s directive and the weight of constant lonely longing, Jonghyun took himself to earth and sat beneath an apple tree, one of several in the meadow that flanked the herdsboy’s hut, wrapping his silver foxskin about him as a coverlet and nestling his chin amidst its plush pile. It was the first truly warm morning of the new season, and he watched through his lashes as the herdsboy emerged from his hut and unstrapped the goatskins from his legs with a jubilant cry, then sat on his stoop and sighed with pleasure at the warmth of Kibum’s light on his winter-paled shins.

No, this one belonged to Kibum’s world of sunshine and merriment, not Jonghyun’s soft darkness and melancholy and lullabies.

Jonghyun tipped his head back against the trunk and let his eyes fall closed, the lids heavy with unshed tears.

He had surely drowsed no more than a minute when he was startled awake by the soft low voice he loved so well, so nearby that his heart stumbled in his chest.

“Have you breakfasted, stranger?” the herdsboy asked, and Jonghyun opened his eyes to find the youth crouched before him: near enough to touch, were he to stretch out a hand; closer than they had ever been before, with the innermost edges of his brows raised in concern: an expression Jonghyun had long adored.

Face to face, he was so beautiful Jonghyun could not draw a breath, and so he gave no reply, expecting the youth would direct him to the temple, for it was an easy distance and the priestesses always fed travelers – and the herdsboy was unmistakably headed there himself, for already he bore the plump goatskin bag over one shoulder.

Instead, he leaned forward to lay the backs of his fingers against Jonghyun’s forehead, brows knitting as he sought for fever, and the moon – feverish in truth, if not in a way that mortals might detect – trembled beneath his touch.

“You are pale with exhaustion,” the herdsboy observed with a frown. “Have you no proper place to lay your head for a few hours? My hut stands just yonder,” he explained, throwing back an arm in explanation, “and my goats are freshly milked. I will make you grain porridge with milk and honey, and you may sleep awhile upon my cot.”

At this something buckled in Jonghyun, like the latch upon a floodgate, for even gods may dream impossible things. “You need not,” he whispered in token protest, but he was truly so very weary with lovesickness and the sleeplessness that follows in its wake, and all at once the boy caught up Jonghyun in his arms. Those lean, strong arms he had ached for so long to envelop him now curled beneath his back and knees, hefting his body as though he weighed no more than a moonbeam.

The youth smelled of wood fires and warm milk, of goat-musk and boy-musk and the last of winter’s chill, and Jonghyun clenched his eyelids against a tide of hot tears.

“You are so spent you can scarce keep your eyes open,” the boy worried. “Or are you ill in truth?”

Jonghyun shook his head, for he did not trust his voice, and buried his face in the boy’s tunic – poor peasant’s cloth, softened by countless washings in the stream and saturated with the scents of the boy’s body. At this proximity he could feel the pulse of the boy’s heart beneath his cheek: quick and hard – no doubt, at the burden of another’s body in his arms, however small and slight.

Surely it was Jonghyun’s imagination, but it seemed the boy cradled him closer as he carried him to his hut and inside, to lay him carefully upon a thin straw pallet near the hearth.

“My cover is unequal to your own,” the boy said ruefully, glancing between the coarse patchwork of goatskins that served him as a blanket and the lush silver fur that currently lay over Jonghyun, but the moon caught the boy’s hand as he made to withdraw the humble coverlet.

“By your leave, I will enjoy them both,” he pled, a little hoarsely. “For I am grown thin these days and feel the cold more keenly.”

“The day promises to be warm,” the herdsboy said with a smile, tucking the goatskins around Jonghyun as well. “But I would not have you take chill in my home.”

He quickly prepared a grain porridge, hot and hearty, with generous measures of milk and honey, then propped Jonghyun’s back against the wattle and daub and chafed his feet between long, strong hands as Jonghyun raised each spoonful to his mouth with trembling fingers.

“Still you are shivering,” the boy remarked, and snugly bundled the covers about Jonghyun’s feet before adding more wood to the hearth, then brought him an apple for good measure.

“I must take the goats to pasture,” the boy told him, almost regretfully, and shouldered the skin bag of milk once more. “And I must visit the market as well this day, but freely avail yourself of any of my meager comforts. I will return before sundown to stable the goats, and –”

“I must depart before sundown,” Jonghyun interrupted him, so gently, but still the admission cracked his heart, for he ached to hear the boy’s intentions for the evening, however impossible. Surely he meant to offer Jonghyun a portion of his supper, perhaps even a place to sleep for the night…

“Of course,” the boy said softly, as though he had expected this answer, and Jonghyun closed his eyes once more, this time with regret.

Something brushed his forehead then, something light and warm and fleeting, making Jonghyun’s scalp prickle with pleasure, but when he opened his eyes, the boy had gone.

Porridge and apple lay forgotten as the moon cried himself to sleep, face buried in a straw pallet that smelled of the herdsboy’s body and a goatskin patchwork drawn over his head.

To his astonishment, and in spite of his grief, he slept better than he had in nearly a decade – since first he had glimpsed the herdsboy as a merry child with sunburned cheeks, all lanky limbs and a curly tangle of black hair that defied the confines of ribbons – and he rose mid-afternoon with a fine appetite and devoured cold porridge and apple in minutes, with several mugfuls of goat’s milk, and even caught himself perusing the herdsboy’s larder for more. It was humble and scanter than Jonghyun would have guessed in light of the gifts the boy always left at the temple, and Jonghyun forbade himself any further repast – for he had food aplenty at home, but this boy did not.

“I could feed you,” he whispered, circling the mouth of the nearly empty flour jar. “Such food as you could scarce dream of, and you could pasture your goats among the stars.”

He let himself think of the kiss – if indeed it had been such – only thrice, stroking the place on his forehead where the herdsboy’s lips had touched him. A brow kiss was a blessing; a well-wishing, seen as often betwixt kin as lovers, and the boy – this vibrant, beautiful, perfect boy who laughed with his whole being – had found Jonghyun all but crumpled beneath a tree, wearied to a thread and thin as a beggar’s child.

No, if he had kissed Jonghyun’s brow before departing, it was motivated by compassion, which the herdsboy possessed in no short supply, not ardor.

As desperately as Jonghyun wished to replenish the boy’s larder – to burst it at its seams with parcels of rich food and drink, then exchange his humble straw pallet and goatskins for a marble pedestal pillowed with deep cushions and draped in furs – he knew he dared not, for the boy could not know that a god – let alone the moon himself, who loved him to distraction – had slept on his cot and eaten his porridge; that he had carried a god to his own bed and chafed his feet warm and kissed his brow. Jonghyun would – must – remain a weary traveler to him, grateful for his generosity but too poor to repay it in any material means.

With this in mind, Jonghyun carried both pallet and goatskins outside, to air them upon the sun-warmed grass and dry the damp left by his tears, then he swept the hut from stoop to sills, for tidying the boy’s home would demonstrate Jonghyun’s thankfulness while costing him nothing, nor betraying his true identity.

You are the veriest fool, declared Kibum; faintly, for he was quite some ways off, in Jonghyun’s mind. If you truly wished to show him favor, you would have pulled him beneath the covers and bade him hold you while you slept, not tidied his home, which little required it.

Jonghyun ignored his brother’s chiding and spent half an hour scouring the meadow for dandelions – there were but three at this early date; their brave yellow faces the very first of the year – to lay upon the herdsboy’s refreshed cot as a token of gratitude.

The hut smelled of Kibum when Jonghyun was finished: of warm grass and meadow-pollen and dusty golden light – as befits the herdsboy, the moon reminded himself when the realization saddened him – and he busied his hands with assembling a meal for the boy upon his return: a simple, hearty potage of root vegetables simmering over the fire and a dish of baked honeyed pears. The nights were still so very cold, and the boy might well be chilled upon his return, in which case a hot meal would be a better reward than any sum of gold.

This being done, Jonghyun stood in the doorway, foxskin wrapped about him and eyes fixed on the empty meadow as Kibum drew the light ever lower. It is not yet your renewal night, came a distant, regretful whisper from just above the horizon. I will give your boy a few minutes more, but if he does not return soon, you must leave without saying goodbye.

Jonghyun’s heart panged, for though he had known it was unlikely that he should see the herdsboy before departing – had expected, even intended as much – still he had hoped the boy would return in time for a farewell greeting. For one final smile, given only to Jonghyun; for another lungful of rustic musk, or a fleeting touch of long fingers.

He ducked back inside the hut, heart sore and eyes burning, and was halfway through lighting the lamps when he heard the first bleat, closer than he could have dreamed. “You came,” he breathed, and ran to the doorway once more to watch the herdsboy chase his goats into their shelter by the fiery orange light of Kibum’s valiantly slowed sunset, barking to hasten them while glancing frantically over his shoulder at the hut, and his handsome face grew radiant with both joy and relief when he caught sight of Jonghyun on the stoop.

Gate bolted and goats secured, the herdsboy reached the hut in four long strides, ruddy-cheeked and panting, his black hair ribbonless and wind-tangled about his shoulders, and Jonghyun thought he had never looked more beautiful.

“I meant to return much earlier,” he said, “but the kids strayed off, and I was so afraid I should miss you –”

“I would not leave without thanking you for your hospitality,” Jonghyun replied, but he lowered his gaze at the boy’s words, feeling his cheeks warm.

The boy slipped a large cloth bag from his shoulder and pressed it into Jonghyun’s hands. “To sustain you on your journey,” he said, adding shyly: “T’was why I went to market this day.”

Jonghyun opened the bag to find a bounty of foodstuffs that would have cost the herdsboy a milk-goat at the very least. A large golden loaf of the finest bread and a portion of cold roast beef, savory roasted nuts, rare citrus fruits, sweet filled pastries, a flask of pale wine, and a fat pouch of honey candies: offering foods of the richest sort. The sort of gift that kings lay upon the altar of their favorite god on feast days – and the very fare Jonghyun had ached to provide to the herdsboy, whom he worshipped in his turn.

“Thank you for visiting this humble place,” the boy said softly, his eyes on the stoop beneath Jonghyun’s bare feet, then he dropped to his knees, bending low to press kisses to each one. “For taking shelter in my home,” he sighed, resting his cheek against Jonghyun’s calf in a gesture of reverent submission that stole the moon god’s breath away.

Jonghyun curled his fingers into fists against the urge to reach down and stroke that wind-tangled hair; to gently lift that face and kneel in turn to bring his own to meet it. “I am not who you believe,” the moon said as evenly as he could manage. “I am a weary traveler only; you gift me far too richly.”

“I would gift you richer still, had I the means,” the herdsboy whispered, and dipped his head to press a kiss to each sensitive ankle bone in turn, making Jonghyun’s thighs tremble.

Kibum’s light flickered warningly, clinging to the very edge of the horizon, and Jonghyun slipped the priceless foxskin from his shoulders. “I am not who you believe,” he said again, his voice quaking beneath the weight of the lie, “and so I will repay your generous gift with one of my own.”

He draped the fur about the herdsboy’s bent form, whimpering silently as he lifted black hair as soft as feathers to lay the garment against the youth’s nape, but before the herdsboy could raise his head and respond, the moon had vanished.

Breathless and shivering, Jonghyun appeared in his temple, to quickly collect the evening’s offerings before his imminent ascent, and his breath caught anew at the sight of a cloth bag; a twin to the herdsboy’s gift, awaiting him upon the altar.

“From your beloved,” the priestesses confirmed, for they were full aware of the moon’s adoration. “He came early and in a feverish hurry, with his entire flock in tow, and had a quarter hour’s labor rounding them up again as they gamboled about the courtyard with their fellows.”

Jonghyun smiled at the image in spite of his state and took the bag from the altar, finding its contents to be identical to the one he already carried – an unimaginable expense for a poor herdsboy – save for a familiar scrap of red ribbon that had seemingly fallen inside as the boy made up the parcels.

He would have sold two goats, Jonghyun realized: fine milking does, substantially reducing his income in order to afford such luxuries – not to mention, needlessly traveling far out of his way to obtain them. And why prepare a second gift – an exorbitant expense – if he intended to bring an offering gift to Jonghyun at his hut?

Because he feared to miss you, Kibum supplied in Jonghyun’s mind, his tone at once impatient and pitying, and Jonghyun joined him a moment later, weighted down with the herdsboy’s gifts.

He knew you for the moon god, Kibum said frankly, tossing the reins without watching to see whether his brother caught them, and was terrified you would depart before he could offer proper tribute, be it upon your altar or upon your person.

The sun god arched one sharp black brow in shameless intimation, and Jonghyun glanced betwixt the reins in his hand and the rich parcels weighing him down at either shoulder. He is…singular in his devotion, he conceded.

He carried you like a lover within moments of your meeting, then laid you in his own bed and departed with a kiss to your brow, Kibum recalled dryly. And when you made to leave him, he showered you with offerings; knelt before you and kissed your feet like he’d never beheld anything so precious. And still you believe him to be merely a pious devotee, who wishes a beautiful maid for his bride?

Jonghyun flicked the reins and set off before Kibum could press the issue, but his brother’s voice followed him into the night sky, gentler now: How can you believe he could never love you when this day he has given overwhelming proof that he already does?

He promised himself again and again that he would take no special notice of the herdsboy as he passed, nor linger above the hut he now knew so well, but his hands faltered at the reins when he spotted his beloved far below, wrapped in Jonghyun’s foxskin against the evening’s chill and seated upon the stoop, a steaming bowl of Jonghyun’s potage cradled between his hands and his face upturned to receive the moon’s light.

Thank you for this day, Jonghyun told him silently, tears burning in his eyes. For your care even more than your gifts, though I cherish them as well, and the sacrifices you made to obtain them. I will find a better way to thank you – to fully reward your kindness.

You know that method already, Kibum informed him upon his return, as though he had been a full participant in Jonghyun’s internal dialogue. Make love to him: this morning, if you like, or if you prefer to be in finer form ere you present your body beneath his coverlets: go to him during the festival, on new moon night. You will have nearly a fortnight to restore your flesh and fully a night and a day to enjoy him.

Jonghyun pondered all of this in the days that followed, as he reverently consumed every last morsel of the herdsboy’s extravagant gifts while seated on the floor behind his altar and absently counted the ribbons in his treasure box. The youth’s offerings had not altered since their encounter: without fail, and despite his decreased supply, still he delivered a full skin of goat’s milk every morning for the priestesses – and Jonghyun too, who always drank a mugful, sweetened with honey, ere he settled to sleep for the day. More often than not now, rather than returning to his palatial bed at home, Jonghyun slept in one of the empty pilgrims’ cells off the temple courtyard, furnished with a straw pallet and thin coverlet and sometimes a goat-kid or two trotting in to lie beside him, for in such a place he could easily imagine that he lay again in his beloved’s bed, and that this time the herdsboy would return early and join him beneath that coverlet.

The boy still came to the temple before sunset with his little tokens – humble once more; a small coarse loaf baked by his own hands, an apple, and almost always a bit of cheese – and now there were dandelions among them, tied with a scrap of red ribbon or, better still, woven into a flower crown, which Jonghyun donned without hesitation and wore on his journey, scenting his hair with the midday meadow and lending a faint golden hue to his light.

The herdsboy gave him dandelions because he had given them first, Jonghyun reasoned, even as such explanations made Kibum apoplectic with exasperation. It was not uncommon for the boy to leave flowers on the altar with his evening gift, nor for Jonghyun to wear them in his hair; he offered dandelions now because there was little else in bloom, or perhaps he had concluded that Jonghyun admired them, having received three of them from the moon himself.

The moon’s visible face waned as appointed as the festival drew near, though Jonghyun swiftly gained back the weight and vigor he had lost with restful sleep and a steady supply of goat’s milk and cheese – and adoration, Kibum chimed in dryly. His gifts nourish you differently now, filled as they are with unabashed love.

Jonghyun blushed and dismissed this with a roll of his eyes, but the festival drew ever nearer, and Kibum wrung from him the promise to spend it in the meadow near the herdsboy’s hut, where there would be feasting and merrymaking and contests of swiftness and skill, in which the youth always took part and excelled.

Kibum had pressed for a greater commitment, of course, even threatening to bar Jonghyun from his celestial duties – to delay the very waxing of the moon – if he did not at least kiss the herdsboy at the festival, but Jonghyun was reluctant to encounter the youth again: afraid, he admitted only to himself, that he would find no repetition of those tender gestures, only a handsome head bowed to the ground in reverence.

The herdsboy, Jonghyun was certain, wanted a beautiful maiden at his hearth and in his bed, and he would surely seek and meet this mate at the festival. And so the moon conceived a plan that would enable him to encounter the youth one final time – and then, he promised himself, he would put such longings behind him forever.

He would guise himself as a young woman, and with little difficulty, for Jonghyun stood a head shorter than the herdsboy and was possessed of a small, fine frame, nipped even slimmer at the waist. His jaw was strong and his cheekbones high, to be sure, but his eyes, dark and delicate, were exquisite as a maiden’s; his nose small and his lips ripe as rosehips. It would take precious little embellishment to give him the semblance of a pretty maiden: a maiden who might openly approach the herdsboy at a festival and share wine with him, perhaps even ask him to dance – an activity beloved by the agile youth, though he only ever partook in the group dances; never alone with a partner.

You are the veriest fool, Kibum sighed, even as he painted Jonghyun’s cheekbones with stardust. Would you truly have him love you as a maid?

He will not love me, Jonghyun assured him. I merely wish to be near him one last time.

Kibum chuckled and shook his head as he cinched an embroidered girdle at Jonghyun’s waist, belling the skirts about his narrow hips and small, thoroughly unfeminine backside. And if he desires to bed you like this? he wondered impishly, darting a hand inside his brother’s blouse to pinch and rouge his nipples, furthering the illusion of breasts beneath, and Jonghyun leapt back with a mortified cry, to the sun’s riotous laughter.

If I drape your loin covering just so, you can lift your skirts and take him inside you without him once knowing that he mates with a male, Kibum offered, even as the moon turned away, face burning, to arrange a veil over the back of his head, concealing the short length of his wavy dark hair.

I’ve done it many a time, the sun assured him. Your positions are limited somewhat, but none are unpleasant in the least –

I will not deceive my beloved into bed! Jonghyun snapped. I go tonight simply to be near him one last time; to be in his presence without the disparity of god and man between us. To laugh and dine and dance with him – and then let him go, to find the maiden he means to wed.

Kibum sighed once more, somber now, and handed Jonghyun his finest earrings. I accept this, though I may not agree, he said quietly. I have observed your beloved in my turn, and I feel this evening may not proceed as you intend. How will you respond if you are the maiden he wishes to wed – or, like as not, he recognizes you as the god he worships daily?

He will do neither, Jonghyun replied, for your disguises are flawless, and he will wed a girl from his village.

If you are wrong, the sun teased, but gently, I sincerely hope I shall not see you back here till tomorrow evening.

If I am right, you shall not see me till then either, Jonghyun told him, for I expect to weep in my temple at least that long once I have freed him of the burden of my love.

You may find him more than eager to bear that burden, Kibum said, and swatted his brother’s backside with clear affection. The apple trees are in bloom, as I promised: go now, and dance and dine and laugh with your boy.

#jjongsmonth #jjongsmonth2020 #i inadvertently made a little prince reference in here and was so happy when i realized it!#my opus in my previous fandom is full of moon imagery and little prince and the fox references #so i really wanted to try it here with jonghyun #the distance between you and me #selene!jonghyun #moon!jonghyun #endymion!minho #selene and endymion #jongho #jonghyun/minho #hohyun #jongho fic #fanfic #my fic

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rollercoasterwrite · 4 years

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JJONG’S MONTH FIC MASTERLIST III.

A list of all fics written for Jjong’s month, which is obviously April cause duh.

Thank you to all the people who have and who are still writing fanfics for this fandom. It’s made this experience so much more rich and fun. <3

Jjong’s Month collection by jinkisbelly

Learn How to Shine (part I of Our Eternal Season collection) by replaydebut

Blinking Game (part II of Our Eternal Season collection) by replaydebut

Wouldn’t that be fine? (가을) (part III of Our Eternal Season collection) by replaydebut

Already (겨울) (part IV of Our Eternal Season collection) by replaydebut

Time and Lavender by jjongmoanss

Too good for my heart by jjongmoanss

Our Season/Notre saison [drabble] by rollercoasterwrite

Let it Be by quagmireisadora

‘’What if’’ collection by quagmireisadora

Dream Girl [chaptered fic] by hwarang-number

Like roses and clover by saltskinandasociopath

Edelweiss by jjongyyu

I’m So Curious by rollercoasterwrite

Only One You Need by snowflakejh

The Distance Between You And Me [Pt 1] by hwarang-number

#jjongsmonth #jjongsmonth3rdedition #jjongsmonth2020 #jonghyun #jinki #minho #key #taemin #shinee

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rollercoasterwrite · 4 years

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JJONG’S MONTH 3rd edition 2020

April is around the corner, so you know what that means…

I’m calling ALL my fanfic writers out there to keep Jjong alive through our words. Like before, for the whole month of April, let’s all write a one-shot titled after one of his songs or lyrics (can also be songs he wrote for SHINee or other artists).

Let’s make this happen here on Tumblr so we can all share this experience and keep our loving community here alive. BUT you can also publish them on AFF and Ao3 and give me the link so I can add it to the masterlist! To keep track of the stories you can tag it #jjongsmonth and then I’ll make a masterlist of all of them.

Check out last year’s masterlist and the first one.

If you have any questions and suggestions don’t hesitate. <3

#jjongsmonth #jjongsmonth3rdedition #it feels weird that it's already the third one #jjongsmonth2020 #tag your fave writers and share haha #shinee #jonghyun #onew #minho #taemin #key #fanfiction #aff #ao3

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rollercoasterwrite · 4 years

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I’m So Curious [Chapter 1]

Part 1 of my story written for Jjong’s Month and for my lovely Dee @jjongyyu

Here are the ones I wrote last year : Just For A Day & Love Is So Nice

Pairing : Jongyu

Genre : romance, some fluff, probably angst, smut eventually XD

TW : I don’t know if it’s really triggering to anyone, but Jjong curses a lot in this one and is kinda crude so yeah at least you have been warned. XD

Word Count : 6500 ~

Links : AFF & AO3

Special thanks to Cheryl for being my beta and making it possible for me to release part I before the month ended.

"What's your type?'' The blonde cocked an eyebrow. ''What has that got to do with anything?'' The brunette shrugged. ''Just wondering...'' He said, giving his straw another mindless chew before going on. ''I've just never seen you show interest in anyone.'' The other frowned, confused.

''Again, why did that pop up in your mind just now?'' ''Jeez, can't I just ask a question?'' the younger one retorted, frustration now edging his tone. '' I know you, Tae,'' the blonde immediately clapped back. ''You never just ask a question.'' His statement had the other snorting in indignation.

''Is that really what you think of me, Jjong?'' ''Yes,'' the blonde squarely replied before taking another sip of his iced coffee. He watched as his friend settled into grumpy mode with a scoff and a determined cross of the arms. He couldn't help but puff out laughing at the childish display. ''I know you'll eventually spill it…'' Jonghyun taunted, lopsided smile dancing on his lips. ''I hate you,'' Taemin spat with spite that only manifested when he didn't get his way. ''Good luck with that,'' Jonghyun replied with a chuckle. A sense of victory swelled in his chest as he watched his friend struggle to come up with a comeback. The silence gave him some time to look around the nearly empty café they regularly visited to get some school work done or chat. He could never stop himself from taking in the peaceful setting, even though he’d probably seen it a million times now. With its white-framed casement windows that let the natural light in, its bare white walls opening up the space, the various-sized potted plants adding life and color around them, and the rustic furniture that contrasted so perfectly against all the light, it just felt to him like his little corner of paradise. It was even more beautiful now that the setting sun bathed the space with dancing lights of pink and orange. If the moment wasn't already perfect, the warm and full aroma of fresh coffee filling up the space left not even a modicum of place for discontent. Jonghyun felt good, and not even the sight of his friend's disgruntled expression was going to change that. ''Can I order us another round of coffee or are you just going to storm out like a little bitch and leave me hanging?'' he half-asked, half-baited. Taemin's gaze narrowed at the jab. Jaw tense, he replied, ''Call me a little bitch one more time and that coffee will end up in your face.'' '' I'll take that as a yes for the coffee then, '' Jonghyun concluded, not at all fazed by the other's threat.

He knew of his friend's evil ways, but for some reason, the latter seemed to know there was no point trying anything with him.

As soon as they received their refill of iced coffee, the younger one seemed to relax and, soon enough, he was back on topic. ''Jjongie...'' he cooed, shifting into his characteristic charmer mode. ''No.'' Jonghyun didn't need to hear the rest. He already knew he wasn't going to like it. ''You don't even know what I was going to say," Taemin whined with pouting lips. ''Right, but I already know my answer.'' ''What if I was just going to ask for a ride home?'' the fluffy-haired brunette argued. ''But you weren’t, so cut the crap,'' Jonghyun bluntly dismissed. He caught the glare that his friend shot him before he took in more caffeine.

The younger one's frustration soon turned into a desperate sigh, signalling he was about to crack open. ''Look, I need a favor,'' he finally revealed. ''Ask Kibum,'' Jonghyun indicated. The younger one scrunched up his nose in disgust.

''Ew, no. Just imagining them...'' The retching gesture that followed wasn't enough to distract the blonde from what he had just caught in the other's unintentional admission. ''Them?'' he echoed, confused. ''Who is the other person?'' Taemin froze at that, the only movement perceptible being that of his furious blinking.

''Tae??'' Jonghyun called out as confusion and nervousness simultaneously grew inside him. ''Yeah, um...'' the brunette cleared his throat. ''The other person's my cousin,'' he finally said. Jonghyun frowned deeply.

''What's your cousin got to do with anything? '' ''He has to do with the favor I need from you,'' Taemin outlined before deflecting his attention to his chewed-up straw. ''The fuck?'' the older one exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his friend. It was a few more seconds before the other stopped his balancing act of chewing on plastic and drinking. ''You know my cousin, Jinki, that I sometimes talk about?'' Taemin started. ''You mean, that you always talk about, '' Jonghyun rectified, not without an edge of annoyance to his tone. ''That is not true,'' the other instantly countered. ''Riiight,'' Jonghyun derided. “I must be imagining all these times you've been going on about something he said or did.''

''No, you're not. But it's definitely not all the time.'' If there was something that Jonghyun had come to learn about the beautiful young man he spent a lot of his waking hours with, it was that he was incredibly stubborn. Jonghyun had seen that attribute work in amazing ways, especially when it came to his dancing skills. But he had also seen it work in the most annoying and infuriating ways, and this moment was definitely more proof of that. ''Whatever,'' Jonghyun brought himself to say to avoid any blood being shed on the beautiful table between them. ''Anyway,'' Taemin went on. ''Jinki's been feeling lonely and I thought I should help him out a bit, you know, since he's helped me so much throughout the years.'' ''Are you going to suck his dick or something?'' Jonghyun couldn't help but voice. ''Eeeeew,'' the younger one all but yelled. ''He's my cousin!!'' ''The way you get all excited whenever you talk about him makes me wonder sometimes... '' ''You're fucking gross, Kim Jonghyun.'' That made the blonde's eyebrow cock. ''Interesting...'' he mused. ''What?'' ''Seems like I hit a sensitive cord,'' Jonghyun noted matter-of-factly. ''Stop that,'' the brunette said in his most authoritative tone, which didn't feel that convincing to the other. ''Don't worry about it, Tae. Apparently, that happens between cousins more than we think.'' The death stare he received made it hard for him to keep a straight face, the tickling edge of laughter bringing a twitch to his lips. ''I swear... '' Taemin grumbled as a visible clench graced his jaw. He forced himself to roll his tongue in his mouth a few times like his mom had taught him as a kid before resuming. ''I need you to go on a date with him.'' ''No. '' Jonghyun didn't even need to hear more. He wasn't going to entertain any of it.

His response had the other sighing deeply. ''I knew it would play out this way,'' Taemin indicated as he looked straight into the older one's eyes. ''That's why I'm ready to pay.’' ''Excuse me??'' Jonghyun loudly exclaimed. The other's silence and serious expression only got him more riled up. ''Do I look like a fucking prostitute to you?'' ''I'm not asking that you have sex with him. I just want him to get back into the dating scene,'' Taemin calmly explained. ''That's cool and all, but why me?'' Jonghyun had no choice but to ask, bewilderment splashed all across his face. ''I feel like you two could get along,'' Taemin answered. ''Plus, he's always had a thing for petite guys.'' ''I'm not petite,'' Jonghyun growled, gaze turning dark. ''Fine, you're a fucking mountain,'' Taemin conceded with a slight eyeroll to spare himself a pointless argument. ''Look,'' he quickly followed with. ''You just have to go on one date and in return, you won't have to be so stressed out about money all the time.'' The tension that had settled on the blonde's face morphed into another look of disbelief. ''Are you actually hearing yourself right now?'' ''Yes, I hear myself just fine,'' Taemin replied without shame. ''Sex or no sex, what you are asking of me is still prostitution,'' Jonghyun pointed out bluntly. ''No,'' Taemin squarely countered. ''I asked for a favor and you said no, so I'm adding money into the mix so that it's still a win for you in the end.'' ''I can't accept your money.'' ''Yes, you can, and you will.'' The blonde gave him a wide-eyed stare.

''The fuck?'' The brunette sighed.

''I know you've worked really hard to get to where you're at, but you deserve to have some space to breathe. That's what I'm really offering you,'' he added for emphasis. Jonghyun was at a loss for words. He knew Taemin meant well, but that whole deal didn't feel right. On the flip side, getting some extra money would definitely alleviate the burden he carried with him all the time. Getting into his dream school had been a big part of the battle, but actually being able to pay all the fees that came with studying there was a strenuous challenge in itself. He could only do so many hours of work without it affecting his grades and he had already reached that limit. ''Like I said, I only ask for one date,'' Taemin reiterated. ''And you can consider this whole semester dealt with.'' If Jonghyun's eyes could've grown any bigger, they would have at that moment. ''You're tripping...'' That made the younger one laugh. ''I've actually had time to think this through,'' Taemin informed him. ''So I understand if you need some time to think about it, too.'' ''I...'' Jonghyun's eyes darted towards his half-filled cup as his mind mulled over the offer. He knew he should stick to his no, but Taemin had effectively spoken to the part of him that ached for some relief. ''I'll think about it,'' he finally said as he brought his gaze up once more. Taemin grinned. ''Thanks, Jjong.'' In that moment, a lump of nervousness formed in the blonde's throat. He realized he had just sealed the deal.

***

I can’t believe I’m doing this, he thought as he stared at the restaurant’s elegant façade.

It was probably now close to ten minutes since he had parked on the other side of the street, building up the courage to follow through with the offer his evil best friend had made him.

He still couldn’t believe he had agreed to it, but here he was, all dressed up, black dress shirt and black pants sticking to him like a second skin and the shaggy bangs that usually covered his forehead now slicked back with some gel to make himself look a bit more presentable. He had even traded his worn-out pair of converse shoes for polished leather loafers. The only thing that had been a non-negotiable for him was the tie. He felt like a fraud, but having agreed to do this, he wasn’t just going to half-ass the task at hand. Despite everything, he still didn’t want to make a bad impression on his best friend’s cousin.

He hated to admit it, but he was nervous. He didn’t know what to expect or what to do, or even what to say. This could be a whole disaster, and if it was, he knew Taemin would never let him hear the end of it. He didn’t do dates and he didn’t do formal wear. But again, here he was, getting ready to play the part.

I’m fucking pathetic.

He dropped his bare forehead onto the steering wheel, rapidly losing all resolve he had mustered up on his way there. He could’ve pretty much stayed in that position for the rest of night, but the sudden buzzing of his phone in his pocket jolted him back upright.

He looked at his screen and his heart jumped. He couldn’t hide anymore.

''Hello?'' he answered as his body temperature jumped up a few degrees.

''Am I speaking to Jonghyun?'' the voice at the other end uttered.

The blonde froze for a moment, taking aback by the soft but deep tone that had just graced his ear.

''Hello?''

''Y-yes, it’s me,'' Jonghyun stammered despite himself.

Fuck. They hadn’t even met yet and he was already screwing this up.

''Hi, it’s Jinki. Taemin’s cousin,'' the other man went on.

''Ah, yes. Nice to- I mean, um-''

He cut himself off, realizing whatever would come out of his mouth now would just further embarrass him.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

His obvious clumsiness was apparently amusing to the other one because he suddenly laughed.

And that laugh did nothing to help Jonghyun recover brain cells.

''I’m already in the restaurant. Are you here yet?'' Jinki asked.

''Um, yeah… Well, I’m just outside. I’ll be right there,'' Jonghyun answered.

''Okay, well I’m in a dark grey suit and I’m wearing glasses,'' the other informed.

''Cool,'' Jonghyun uttered as he tried to form an image of what the other looked like.

''So…''

The sound of the other’s voice brought him back to reality. He instantly gave himself a mental kick for getting lost in his thoughts.

''Yes, um, okay, I’ll be hanging up now,'' he indicated before doing exactly that.

Okay, Jjong. You’re already making a damn fool of yourself. Get it together.

He took a few deep breaths before finally turning off the car’s engine and stepping out into the mild weather.

For a moment, he thought about bailing out and getting back into the car, but he knew how much of an asshole that would make him feel like. And he definitely was no asshole. Plus, he couldn’t help but think about the money involved.

Well, maybe that made him an asshole.

He managed to push back all of these thoughts in favor of finally getting himself past the entrance door. Hand on the handle, he pushed it open and stepped inside, relinquishing his fate to the wicked hands of the universe. He barely had time to look around when his eyes fell on a sight he was sure he’d never forget.

Jonghyun froze midstep as his gaze took in a gorgeous man whose clothes fit the description he had received a few minutes earlier.

''Jinki?'' he managed to utter despite feeling like his whole nervous system was about to collapse on him.

The man’s face lit up at the sound of his name and as soon as their eyes met, he flashed him a stunning smile.

''Jonghyun!'' he reciprocated enthusiastically as he took a few steps towards him.

It took Jonghyun everything not to step back and run out through the door. This was definitely worse than he had expected. The man was… A few words popped up in his mind, all of them just making it harder for him not to lose his composure.

''Happy to meet you,'' the brunette said before bowing before him.

Jonghyun returned the gesture, bending further down, since he was the younger one.

''Happy to meet you, too,'' he echoed once he rose back up.

He tried a smile, but it felt too forced, too staged. If there was something Jonghyun wasn’t good at, it was definitely acting.

''Have you ever been here before?'' Jinki promptly asked.

''Um, no…'' Jonghyun answered, slightly embarrassed.

He had done his research earlier that week when Taemin had sent him the address only to learn that this restaurant was one of the finest in the area. He could barely afford the essentials so there was no way he had any extra to be visiting these places. Nor did he ever really have any interest to.

''Ah, it’s okay,'' Jinki reassured with a softer but equally dashing smile. '' I’m glad this is your first time. ''

Jonghyun froze again, eyes wide, as his mind ran straight to the gutter with the other’s words.

The latter seemed to notice as he suddenly chuckled nervously, ''That probably didn’t come out right. I’m sorry.''

Jonghyun’s eyebrow cocked as he stared at the other. Is he for real?

The subtle blush he caught on the taller one’s face told him that it was indeed an honest mistake.

''I’m- I’m sorry…''

Jonghyun instantly felt bad. He was the one catching double entendres where there was none.

''Don’t be, please,'' he implored. ''I’m sorry, it’s me… I’m being a little weird …''

The brunette seemed to relax at that. Retrieving his smile, he said, ''This is a little never-wracking, huh?''

''Yeah,'' Jonghyun admitted as he rubbed the back of his neck with one hand.

''Well, it’s nothing a little alcohol can’t fix, right?’' Jinki playfully remarked.

That made the blonde laugh.

''Definitely.''

Any words he would’ve said next died in his throat as the brunette’s eyes zeroed in on him in a focused and extremely unnerving way.

''Um… should we go to our table now?'' he found the courage to say as he deliberately avoided the other’s intent gaze.

That fortunately was enough to snap the other out of whatever trance he had been in.

''Yes, of course,'' he replied, quickly clearing his throat.

They first stopped at the front desk, Jonghyun just tagging along as Jinki gave the elegantly clad lady before them his name for the reservation. She then led them into the restaurant, walking them past the tables until they reached the back where a beautifully set table awaited them.

Along the way, Jonghyun had stolen glances around, taking in the contrasting elegance of the furniture with the robustness of the ceiling-to-floor pillars that gave the space more character and charm. He was even more pleased by the warm lighting that completed the portrait like icing on a cake, giving the room an intimate vibe.

Once the lady had finished setting the menus on the table and another came in to fill up their glasses with water, they sat, finding themselves alone.

''So, what’s your poison?'' Jinki immediately asked.

The blonde’s brow cocked.

''Shouldn’t we be ordering some expensive wine or something?''

''We could, if that’s what you want, but I’d rather you tell me what you like,'' Jinki indicated.

For some reason, that was enough to make Jonghyun’s heart jump inside his chest again.

''Um, well… I don’t drink often, but I really like rum,'' he shared as he tried not to linger on his body’s unsolicited reaction.

''Great,'' Jinki exclaimed as his face lit up even more. ''That’s my favorite.''

Immediately after, he gestured to one of the waiters in sight and ordered two glasses of a brand of rum Jonghyun was sure he had never tasted before. The order was served to them a few seconds later, the golden-brown liquid swaying beautifully inside the clear glasses.

Jinki was the first to pick up his glass.

''To a beautiful evening,'' he softly said as he lifted it.

''To a beautiful evening,'' Jonghyun reciprocated with a small smile before they both brought their glasses to their lips.

The taste that graced the blonde’s tongue was a perfect mix of strong, velvety, and sweet, making it impossible for him not to moan from contentment.

''That is the best rum I’ve ever had,'' he enthused, before realizing the other’s gaze had changed again.

He didn’t know what it was, but he could definitely feel himself tense up because of it. Fortunately, he didn’t have to speak this time for the other one to get back into conversation.

''I would have to agree with that,'' Jinki finally said with a smile.

''I’m guessing everything here is great, huh?'' the blonde gathered.

''Yeah, I’d say so,'' Jinki confirmed. ''Although…'' he went on immediately after, ''I pretty much always order the same thing, so I’m probably not the best person to ask,'' he admitted in a somewhat apologetic tone.

''What’s your order?'' Jonghyun asked with genuine interest.

''Their duck confit.''

The blonde stared blankly at him for a few seconds as his mind tried to figure out whatever that could be.

His confusion must’ve shown clear because the other chuckled before saying, ''It’s basically duck cooked in its own fat.''

Jonghyun grimaced at that.

''That doesn’t sound very appetizing to me.’'

''I can understand,'' Jinki said with another soft laugh. ''So what kind of food do you usually enjoy?''

''Um… pretty simple stuff I guess,'' Jonghyun answered, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

The brunette acknowledged those words with a nod.

''To be honest, I just love to eat, so give me anything and I’m in.''

The blonde snorted out a laugh at that.

''Sounds like Taemin.''

He was answered with a broad smile.

''I guess we have some things in common.''

Yeah, a stunning face seems to be one of them, Jonghyun replied in the safety of his mind.

''By the way, I’ve been curious to know how you two became friends,'' the older one went on as he picked up his glass again.

''Oh, that…'' Jonghyun uttered mindlessly. ''I don’t know if it’s a funny story or if it’s just really cringy…''

''Now you have me even more intrigued,'' Jinki prodded with a grin.

''Well, if you must know,'' Jonghyun started, realizing this was another chance for him to get back at the little brat. ''I first met him at a school party last year. I didn’t want to go in the first place, but a friend of mine insisted, so I tagged along. When we arrived there, my friend quickly abandoned me for a girl, leaving me alone in the midst of hundreds of strangers. At that point, I was just going to leave, but someone approached me. At first, I thought he looked cute, but as soon as he started talking, I could see he was pretty far gone. He said a lot of things, things that could’ve gotten him in deep shit if he had said them to any other guy. ''

''Oh god,'' Jinki suddenly interjected as a look of worry settled on his face.

''Don’t worry, this ends well,'' Jonghyun reassured with a small laugh.

''Good, please continue.''

''So, like I said, I wanted to leave, but I couldn’t help but fear what might happen if I left him there. I ended up asking him to follow me and we got out. Then I asked where his dorm room was, but he never managed to tell me, so I brought him back to mine. I got him into bed and he immediately fell asleep before waking up a few minutes later and puking all over the floor. He didn’t even seem to notice though, because he went right back to sleep after that. And then the next morning, once he was alert enough that I could walk him through what had happened, he apologized, thanked me a million times and hung around for the rest of the morning. I still didn’t understand what his deal was, but it felt weirdly comfortable to have him there. And then, I guess it just picked up from that.''

''That’s Taemin’s charm for you,'' Jinki acknowledged with what seemed like a prideful smile.

Jonghyun snorted again, ''Yeah, I guess.''

A full laugh rolled out of the brunette.

''You’ve obviously seen all that comes with that charm, too.''

''Definitely,'' Jonghyun replied immediately.

Jinki laughed some more.

''Well, thank god you were there that night and that you’re still in his life. You seem to be a good influence on him.''

The blonde’s brow cocked.

''A good influence?''

''Yeah,'' Jinki validated. ''Tae talks about you all the time and one of the things that always comes back is his admiration for your passion and work ethic. You seem to have rubbed off on him because I can see how serious he is about things now.''

Jonghyun was trying to keep his face under control, but he knew he was failing at hiding his surprise and utter shock.

''He’s never…. I didn’t know he…''

And he was also failing to verbalize any coherent thought.

''Taemin will never outright tell you this, but what I know is that he doesn’t hang out with someone if he doesn’t really love them.''

''Yeah… I guess,'' Jonghyun admitted as he unconsciously rubbed the back of his neck again. ''What about you and Tae?'' he inquired to get the focus off of himself. ''You two seem pretty close.''

He was first answered with a beaming smile that turned his mouth dry. He quickly reached for his glass and took another sip.

''Yes, we are. It’s just always been like that despite our age gap. I’m an only child so my parents would bring me to my aunts’ and uncles’ houses a lot and I always had the most fun with Taemin. He was always so joyful and full of life, and that always made me feel happy. As we grew up, that bond deepened and now, I just see him as my little brother.''

''That’s… really nice,'' Jonghyun said, feeling touched despite himself.

''Yeah,'' Jinki agreed. '' He’s always bringing good into my life.''

Their eyes locked at that and Jonghyun’s heart did another somersault.

''Um, so… shouldn’t we order or something?'' he uttered as his eyes darted back to his glass.

''Shouldn’t you look at the menu first?'' Jinki pointed out with a teasing edge to his tone.

Shit.

''Uh, yeah. Of course.''

After looking at a bunch of items that didn’t make any sense to him, he finally settled for the swiss chard and goat cheese cannelloni. He was pretty sure a pasta dish wouldn’t disappoint his taste buds.

Once their orders were placed, the conversation lulled for a bit, leaving Jonghyun time to assess everything that had happened up until now. He couldn’t say things were going badly. On the contrary, but that just made it all the more confusing for him. Without thinking, he brought his glass to his lips again and downed the rest of the liquid, which he immediately regretted when the fire that suddenly blew up in his throat made him cough uncontrollably.

''Are you alright?'' Jinki asked as he gave him a worried look.

Jonghyun nodded through his coughing fit. It took a few more seconds for his airways to clear out and bring him back to a peaceful state.

''I’m sorry… I…''

''Are you okay?''

The genuine concern he could read on the other’s face made him feel even more self-conscious and stupid. He couldn’t help but look away.

''Yes, I just…''

He didn’t even know what to say. And he couldn’t even use his glass as a distraction anymore.

Dammit.

''Can I tell you something?''

Jonghyun looked up again, curious as to what that thing might be.

''Yes?''

''I haven’t been on a date in years,'' Jinki shared.

Jonghyun blinked at him in surprise.

''Seriously?''

''Yes,'' the brunette reiterated with a sheepish smile. ''I’ve never really made time for anything that didn’t have to do with work.''

''So, what’s changed now?'' Jonghyun couldn’t help but ask.

''Hmm…'' Jinki pondered. ''Well… I guess I’ve finally realized how much I was missing out on.''

''Oh, well, from what I’ve heard you’ve made a pretty good life for yourself already,'' the blonde pointed out.

''I guess in terms of social status, yes, but in my everyday life, things were starting to get…'' he paused, looking nowhere in particular. ''Repetitive.''

''Oh, and here I thought lawyers had the most exciting lives,'' Jonghyun mocked without thinking.

His eyes instantly grew wide as he realized what he had just said.

''I didn’t mean to-''

Jinki laughed, ''I get it. I could try to defend my job, but being a corporate lawyer really isn’t exciting.''

''So why do you do it?''

''Because that’s what was expected of me. And I’m good at it,'' Jinki laid out openly.

''But… ''

Jonghyun couldn’t even begin to understand how someone could just go about a job without being really passionate about it. He had fought all his life to be able to pursue music as a career because, in the end, there was nothing else he could see himself doing.

''It's alright,'' Jinki laughed off. ''I dodged having to go into the medical field, so that's a win in my book." Jonghyun was tempted to dig further, to understand why the other had settled for a life without much agency, but he didn't feel like it was his place. ''Have I just lost you?'' the brunette inquired. Jonghyun caught the flash of fear that went through his gaze and felt his chest tighten. ''No, not at all,'' he instantly reassured. ''I'm just... intrigued,'' he chose after a moment of thought. ''Okay." A second after, the brunette picked up his glass and downed it just as he had a few minutes before. The gesture surprised him and even more so the absence of coughing that followed. ''Let me order us another round of rum and you can ask away," the older one indicated before doing just that. What followed was a pretty intimate exchange on how they had been brought up, an exchange during which the blonde found himself revealing a lot more than he would have ever imagined. They had just met and there he was talking about how the only good thing his mother had ever done for him was kick him out. By then, they were both half-way through their meals and the place had become even more crowded, but that did nothing to distract them from one another. ''She kicked you out?" Jinki exclaimed, eyes growing wide behind his thick frames. "Well, yeah. She couldn't have a defiant son disturbing her peace all the time," Jonghyun intoned with full-fledged sarcasm. "That's horrible," Jinki voiced in shock.

''Yeah, but it turned out for the best,'' Jonghyun observed. ''Living with my sister helped me get my shit together and get me to where I am now." Silence followed his words as the other looked straight into his eyes. Jonghyun felt a shiver run down his spine. "You're incredible." At that, he was pretty sure the man before him was out to kill him. His heart raced as the words rang loud in his mind. "I'm sure I wouldn't have had that resolve if I were in your place," the other then noted. The blonde wanted to argue and dismiss any credit the other was attributing him, but the dark chocolate orbs he was plunged into took the words right out of him. A little voice in his head told him to stop staring, but he felt paralyzed. He was praying the other would break the spell by looking away, but he didn't. "Do I have something on my face?" Jinki inquired, titter vibrating in his voice. Yes, your face. "No, I'm sorry... I just zoned out..." Jonghyun excused as convincingly as he could. "I get it. I would zone out, too, if we were talking about my painful memories," Jinki remarked, offering him an apologetic look. "It's fine, really," Jonghyun quickly replied as to not blow his cover. "Even so, why don't we move on to lighter stuff now?" the older one proposed with a broad smile that crinkled his eyes. Or perhaps, could we move to a bed? Jonghyun couldn't help but think as the sight before him awakened a part of him he usually managed to keep under control. "Yeah, sure," he said, reciprocating with a smile of his own. The conversation went on from there to discussions on their favorite things, like books, movies, and music. Even though they didn't always share common knowledge or taste in these things, their openness to each other made the rest of the evening go by pleasantly. "Did you enjoy your meal?" Jinki asked after the table had been cleared. "Yeah, it was pretty good," Jonghyun genuinely answered. The brunette grinned. "Glad it was. Do you want dessert?" he then offered. "Hmm... I'd say yes, but I'm pretty stuffed," Jonghyun admitted with a breathy laugh. "We can share," the other proposed before crossing his arms over the draped table. "Their crème brûlée is fantastic and I'd love for you to have a taste." Jonghyun felt his mouth go dry. Even if he would've wanted to say no, the eagerness he could hear in the other's tone had him do the contrary. "Okay, sure," he uttered, hoping his answer came off as nonchalant. He received another eye-blinding smile before the other took the lead again and ordered the aforementioned dessert. It was a few minutes before a small ceramic dish was placed between them. Jonghyun stared at the caramelized crust with interest before his eyes went to the utensils. There was only one spoon. "Um... They forgot a spoon," Jonghyun indicated as his eyes flicked up to the brunette. " I'm not averse to sharing a spoon, so you can eat first, " Jinki naturally settled before picking up the spoon and handing it to him. Jonghyun took it, feeling somewhat uneasy. "Have as much as you want," the other then added with what was meant to be a reassuring smile. But Jonghyun just felt more unnerved by it. All the attention was on him and even though that was something he relished in regards to his music, it wasn't something he loved getting in any other context. Especially not right now, when the attention was coming from a man who seemed to know just what to do to get him riled up. "Please, eat," Jinki urged as his smile grew wider. At that, Jonghyun had no other choice but to comply. He scooped out a spoonful of the creamy custard that hid under the thin crust and brought the spoon to his lips. A subtle flutter graced his lashes as he had his first taste. The sweet eggy flavor mixed with the creamy but light texture felt like a true gift to his taste buds.

"So? Do you like it?" Jinki inquired as a soft smile danced on his full lips.

" Oh, yeah, so good," Jonghyun drawled as his eyes zeroed in on the dent he had made in the dish.

A full laugh rumbled out of the brunette's mouth.

"Enjoy."

Jonghyun met his eyes for a second before he plunged the spoon right back in. The second bite felt even more divine than the first and before he could let himself think, he went in for a third, fourth, and fifth spoonful.

It was only when his mind caught up with his stomach again that he realized that more than half of the receptacle was empty. His eyes widened.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry," he apologized as he put the utensil down and lowered his head like a child awaiting punishment.

He missed the expression of confusion that splayed across the other's face, but heard his words loud and clear.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. This was for you."

Jonghyun dared look up, inheriting the confused look in turn.

"I thought you wanted to share," he pointed out.

The brunette shrugged.

"I've had this dessert a million times. I'm not missing out."

"Still, I-"

"You can have it," Jinki interrupted purposefully.

Jonghyun blinked at him for a few seconds.

"Is it because of the spoon? I can ask-"

"No," the brunette interjected again. "I just want you to have it."

Jonghyun searched his face for any sign that he was lying, but found none.

"Plus," the older one went on, "I've put on a few pounds from stress eating so you'll be doing me a favor if you finish this," he ended with an embarrassed smile that leaned into an airy laugh.

Cute, Jonghyun’s mind prompted without notice. The thought had the blonde looking at the dessert again, not trusting himself one bit if he kept his eyes on the other man facing him.

Best that I just eat this so that I can get out of here.

Jonghyun did just that and soon enough, one of the waiters brought over the bill, immediately handing it to the brunette.

"Shouldn’t there be two?" Jonghyun immediately inquired as he furrowed his brows.

The older one let a pleased smile stretch wide across his face.

"Should there be?"

A shiver ran boldly across the blonde’s spine at that.

"Well, yeah… I mean… "

"I brought you here, so it’s on me," Jinki settled gently.

Before Jonghyun could slide in a word of protest, the brunette made his move and gestured to the same waiter that had lingered nearby. Jonghyun just watched as he felt robbed once more of a parcel of his dignity.

A few minutes later, they were finally heading out, the now cooler breeze of the evening meeting them upon their first step out of the restaurant. A moment of shared silence grew between them as they stood before the entrance and gazed into the half-busy street.

"So… " Jonghyun trailed off into silence.

He really didn’t know what to say at this point. The reality of this only being a one-time thing suddenly loomed in the forefront of his mind.

"Can I be honest with you, Jonghyun?" Jinki suddenly asked as he turned a bit more towards him.

The blonde felt himself tense up a bit at the additional proximity, but composed himself enough to nod.

"I would love for this to happen again," the older one instantly voiced.

His expression seemed serious enough for Jonghyun to believe his words, which only made his heart leap and his stomach flutter.

How does he do that? he couldn’t help but wonder as he felt all control seep out of him through now sweaty hands.

"Me, too," he agreed before time stretched too long between them.

Jinki smiled wide and bright.

"Glad to hear that."

Jonghyun made it a point to keep holding his gaze and return his smile, despite his main effort being on keeping himself together.

"I’ll be texting you soon, okay?" Jinki asked, his tone soft and easy.

"‘Kay," Jonghyun replied as he retreated to his nervous habit of rubbing the back of his neck.

"Did you come here by car?" the brunette then verified.

"Yeah, it’s right over there," the blonde indicated as he pointed towards an early 2000s white Corolla across the street.

"Good," Jinki acknowledged as his gaze followed. "I’ll let you go then. Goodnight, Jonghyun," he offered as departing words before flashing a last smile that read as soft but straightforward.

"Goodnight, Jinki," Jonghyun echoed as his face broke into a bashful smile.

They parted ways right after, Jinki heading farther down the street while Jonghyun headed straight to his car.

The blonde settled quickly into his seat, his head yearning to find the comfort of the steering wheel again. A big sigh left his lips as his forehead hit the sturdy surface.

As his eyes closed, his mind immediately formed an all too vivid image of the man he had spent the evening with. He could once again see his coiffed, but oh-so-soft looking hair, his beautiful bushy eyebrows under which thick frames sat perfectly on a proud nose, and his full lips that didn't waste a chance to stretch into one of the most beautiful smiles Jonghyun had seen in his life. The image could've trailed further down, but Jonghyun knew to draw the line there if he didn't want to make his pants any tighter.

He wasn't going to fool anyone, especially not himself. He was wildly attracted to this man.

And that was a problem.

***

#jongyu #jjongsmonth #jjongsmonth2020 #jjongsmonth3rdedition #sarastuff:jongyu #jonghyun #onew #taemin #kibum #minho #shinee #shinee fanfic #yooo I don't even know how I've written stuff these past few weeks but hey at least got something done before the month ended #please let me know if you read and enjoyed it or didn't enjoy it haha #oof

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