#jewish people are awesome | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

unforth · 11 months

Text

Hey if you're a white person (as I am too!) and reading the stuff about End OTW Racism (@end-otw-racism) is making you uncomfortable CONGRATULATIONS THATS THE POINT bipoc have been uncomfortable in fandom for decades and some of yall can't face being uncomfortable for five seconds and still have the gall to have shit like BLM in your descriptions.

Put your money where your mouth is. Be uncomfortable. Actually read what they're talking about and what changes they're proposing instead of jumping right to BuT wHaT aBoUt My DaRk FiC (they want to protect your dark fic and help ensure you're safer from harassment over it!)and ThEy'Re PrO-cEnSoRsHiP (they are explicitly not).

I'm so fucking tired of having my posts and those I reblog on this topic largely ignored on my personal account, but ESPECIALLY I'm furious about how ignored posts on racism in fandom are when I put them on the danmei art sideblogs.

I see racism every single fucking DAY as part of running those accounts. This isn't some nebulous thing happening elsewhere, this is us!

If you don't care, I really need you to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself WHY DONT I CARE?

Because YOU SHOULD FUCKING CARE.

#unforth rambles #end racism in the otw #end otw racism #i was already at my breaking point on this issue a month ago when i started talking more about microaggressions in the mdzs tag #now seeing how impossible it is to get people to give a shit ive moved to fucking FURIOUS #WHY ARENT MORE PEOPLE ANGRY I DONT UNDERSTAND #(i do understand #its racism taking rhe form of complacency and disinterest #from people who have the privilege to ignore it because it makes them uncomfortable and doesnt harm them directly #im honestly gettibg so disgusted #do better white fandom)#im a jewish white woman with biracial kids #it horrifies me to realize that im genuinely not sure if the circles im in would be safe for my half black kids to join #im genuinely not sure i can let my kids join fandom when they get old enough #for fear of what they'll be exposed to here #do yall even realize what a fucking indictment that is?#note this is mostly not aimed at my mutuals #yall are awesome and ilu #but i only have about 75 mutuals #what about the rest of my 1900 followers like wtf guys

323 notes · View notes

talisidekick · 1 month

Text

Spouse had their second round of surgery today. We're driving home and just stopping in at a co-op to get some things they're allowed to eat. We pull into the parking lot, and the inner wheel lining for our vehicle is falling off so it kind of makes this horrid noise anytime the vehicles wheel turns.

This delightfully curious and old man approaches my driver side window and has this look of concern on his face. The one where something is going horribly wrong, and you know the person -has- to know something is wrong, but you're not sure they know -what- is wrong. So I roll down the window and say hi and he goes. "So your wheel is ... um ..." and just looks down at it and and pauses, not sure how to describe the utter evisceration the wheel has done to this kind of important guard between the road and the front electronics.

And I'm sorry, but this guy looks like he's in his 60's and every alter in my brain is screaming 'make this old man not feel terrible, say -anything- to make this man feel less worried', so what do I say with a laugh and in a tone best described by '^.^'?

"Oh, I know, I'm just too poor to fix it."

Which did not make it better! Realizing that my idiot mouth blurts out:

"We're just running it into the ground! It's okay!"

Which totally doesn't help AT ALL! This man just apologetically looks at me and goes "I'm sorry to hear that, and I suppose if you take it off, that'll only make things cost more in the long run."

So now I feel WORSE and when we part he says something in Yiddish that I only recognize because I have heard it said by a Jewish friends mom when I was growing up as a teen (it got burned into my head because it was the first -ever- time I heard that language spoken). And I used to know what to say back because that friend taught me, but it's been over a decade since and I just stared trying to remember and just awkwardly said "I forget what to say back, I'm so sorry, I hope you have a good day." And then just peaced like the socially awkward DORK I am. I may be eloquent in my writing, and sometimes very well spoken on my streams, but in my real life I am neither of those things. I'm a socially nervous idiot with a bad case of word vomit. So just in case that Jewish man is on Tumblr or somehow sees this:

Sir, thank you for your concern, and please don't let my situation bring your day down! I promise you I'm still smiling and laughing and having a good day despite it all so don't let my situation weigh on you like it seemed to. I'll make it through, and I'll be taking every opportunity to make the tough situations in my life something to smile about in any way I possibly can. Your reach out was touching! It was incredibly nice of you. It's kind of made my last two weeks a bit better given I lost my job, lost my medical coverage, have missed 3 loans payments that the government is getting real angry about, and the bottom of my only vehicle I can't afford to replace is falling off. I know that all sounds bad, but you were a delightful change of pace from it all. I hope you have great things coming your way. ♥

#talisidekick #talisidekick things #Jew #Jewish #honestly kind of needed that IRL boost #some old people are just low key awesome #my voice wasn't even that great because i have a sore throat but he still called me 'miss' even though I KNOW my voice didn't pass and ...#the only thing he had to go off of was I was dressed fem as shit #A+ old guy

2 notes · View notes

timeisacephalopod · 1 year

Text

Not that any "ism" makes sense but antisemitism is wild to me because everything I learn about Judaism makes it seem like a pretty bitchin religion. Like they don't just go evangelize at whoever will vaguely accept their religion because they expect you to study the doctrine and religion deeply as part of the conversion process, they question and often debate parts of their theology and the merits of those things, and have a bunch of great food? I mean that's most of the issues I have with Christianity gone- a religion that won't just accept you at the drop of a hat because you said Jesus was cool and actually expects you to work and understand the religion? I'd say sign me up if I were the religious type but since I'm not just be nice to Jewish people they seem pretty awesome and their religion is pretty cool from what I see of it.

#winters ramblings #now OBVIOUSLY theres crappy jewish communities that aremt all hunky dory SURE. but it does appear by and large #that those communities are simply a result of a lot of people practicing one thing amd some being Weirdos about it #which is normal for any set of beliefs but for the most part like... you have to STUDY to be jewish #you JAVE to understand the Torah and the doctrine and how the religion works as a PART of conversion #thats actually cool as all get out and WAY better than the way im used to religion working. i could go on a killing spree tomorrow #and tell some rando christian in prison ive accepted jesus now and theyd be like 'cool i have no questions at all'#and its not to say killers cant reform and be christians its just that i dont think most DO THAT and no one is testing their knowledge #no one CARES if they say they like jesus amd god and idk i think the jewish folk have got it right #making people study and do REAL work to convert you know. i just think thats neat!!#i also heard somewhere but have not confirmed via any jewish people that you get denied three times before youre allowed to convert #which is EVEN BETTER to me it makes sure youre SERIOUS about being jewish and i think thats awesome!!

6 notes · View notes

skydoescrime · 2 months

Text

“right now we stand here as men who refute their jewishness and the holocaust being hijacked by an occupation which has led to conflict for so many innocent people, whether they be the victims of october 7th or the ongoing attack on gaza”

you’re fucking awesome jonathan glazer i respect the fuck out of you. if you haven’t already watch the zone of interest it’s a must watch with the genocide going on in palestine.

#free palestine #free rafah #rafah under attack #save rafah #rafah #all eyes on rafah #hands off rafah #keep eyes on rafah #oscars #the zone of interest #jonathan glazer

2K notes · View notes

transgenderer · 13 days

Text

in the SHWEP episode on al-sakkaki they mention that like, classic sorcerer skill is compelling djinn but because djinni arent all muslim, theyre just magic fire people, if you want to compel a christian djinn youd use their christianity, "in the name of jesus..." if you want to compel a zoroastrian djinn you say "in the name of the light and the flame...", compel a jewish djinn you bring up moses. its awesome. im not sure how you compel an atheist djinn. maybe just physical threats

1K notes · View notes

starry-bi-sky · 3 months

Text

Broke: danny runs away from bruce wayne because he reminds him of Vlad (bad, overused, fundamentally misunderstands Bruce’s character as a whole for a shit joke)

Woke: bruce wayne doesnt remind danny of vlad masters, but of his best friend sam manson

black hair? check ✅

jewish? check ✅

richer than god? check ✅

gothic? well, mister wayne isnt himself but he lives in the most gothic city on earth so quasi-check ✅

loudly and proudly an activist for various rights including environmental and womens' rights? check ✅

im tired of the "oh danny runs away from bruce because he's rich and reminds him of vlad" give me a danny who actually likes bruce because he reminds him of his awesome kickass best friend who is also stupidly rich

like i’ve been told about the whole “oh fruit loop joke” before and i still think its a cheap, shallow joke if i’ve ever heard one that flanderizes Bruce’s character to an impressive degree. Vlad and Bruce are only comparable in the same sense that they’re both rich and Bruce adopts kids — but he isn’t doing it because of the “adoption addiction” joke, he’s doing it because he sees himself in the kids he adopts and he wants to give them better than he did. Vlad wants Danny as his son to spite Jack, they are not remotely comparable beyond that.

Like, beyond that too i highly doubt vlad masters gives his employees benefits like bruce wayne does. who canonically hires reformed villains and has various branches of medical, industrial, technology, etc in his company in order to help the people of gotham. does Vlad Masters run charities, soup kitchens, etc?? is Vlad contributing to the community? No, no he isnt.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #yes i know its a joke. its only funny in moderation #its also a shit joke #dpxdc vent #this doesnt mean anything i was just getting this off my chest. dont come @ me about it being a joke #i will only repeat what i said: its a shit joke and i dont care #it should be said #also knowing butch hartman and his love for all things superhero i wouldnt be surprised if sam is genuinely meant to be a caricature of #bruce wayne. considering how a lot of other DP things are inspired of the DCU and MCU. Freakshow. the reality gauntlet. danny is reminiscen #of spiderman #like think about it: she's jewish. she's gothic. she's loudly an activist. she's the top athlete in her grade. she's incredibly rich.#she's slightly emotionally constipated. she might actually be supposed to be a caricature of bruce wayne

806 notes · View notes

prismatic-bell · 3 months

Text

You know, something I love about being Jewish that I don’t think you can appreciate to its fullest possible extent unless you were an evangelical first is how much Judaism REJOICES.

Like. I grew up in this atmosphere where Jesus is the most wonderful thing ever (and don’t you forget it), such that very simple pleasures were to be shunned. Don’t get so excited over rain, it’s idolatry. Put Jesus first. You like how Starbucks tastes? Why aren’t you praying instead of running the risk that people will think of you as someone who likes coffee? (You think I’m joking. I’M NOT JOKING. That is an actual thing that was actually said to me at an actual revival.) You’re supposed to be grateful for everything, but it’s in this extremely slavish way where everything ends up sounding like “oh have mercy on us because we experienced a moment of enjoyment when we’re such putrid worms, Jesus.”

Meanwhile Judaism is like. Go dance in the rain! G-d is glad you’re enjoying it! Loved the eclipse? Awesome! There’s a blessing for that! Blessed are you, G-d, who put coffee beans on this earth so I could have a brew this morning, it was really good. Check out that weird rock! What a wonderful world we live in, that has rocks like that!

Of course this can be loved and enjoyed and appreciated without having lived in a culture of death first. But there truly is something to be said about coming from a culture that lionizes death and self-degradation into a culture of such LIFE.

Anyway, I was driving home this morning and the clouds were sitting on top of the mountains. Isn’t it lovely, to live in a world where we get to appreciate that?

867 notes · View notes

piratecaptainscaptainpirates · 7 months

Text

We all know OFMD has been tremendously healing to watch when you're queer, but it's honestly just amazing to see as a person of color, too. I am so, so used to characters of color being the only non-White cast member, or stereotypes, or being told that "hey, x Disney character is Black now, aren't you happy about that?"

And OFMD has so many characters of color that are allowed to be complex and nuanced. I'm almost never able to enjoy historical fiction because of how the genre often treats characters of color, but OFMDs characters of color feel like real people who I know in my family and community. Olu isn't a big scary Black man, he's so sweet and practical and a little bit awkward around his crush. Frenchie is comically superstitious and able to pull off an awesome con. Roach loves piratical violence but he also makes lovely assortments of tapas and is delightfully offended when Stede insults his cooking. Jim is allowed to be cool and mysterious and a little bit goofy. Fang is so precious I smile every time I think about him. And don't even get me started on how amazing it is to see an indigenous Jewish man as a romantic lead!

One of the worst things about historical fiction, for me at least, is how all the characters of color are almost always there just for trauma porn. It so often feels like Black characters especially are just there for White audiences to feel bad for. But in OFMD, anti-racism and anti-colonialism are baked into the narrative. Racism exists, but we always get the last laugh, whether that's by knifing a racist through the hand or setting a boat of rich racist assholes on fire.

It encourages me to feel like I can ask for more from other TV shows. I don't have to just roll my eyes and put up with yet another historical drama where the only Black character's arc revolves around the trauma of slavery. It's so refreshing to see. I can't wait for more of it in season two!

#ofmd #it's a good show guys

985 notes · View notes

hindahoney · 1 year

Text

If you want to code-switch so often that you are nearly incomprehensible to goyim, here is a list of my favorite and most-used Jewish terms:

Schvitzing - Sweating. (Ex: "I'm schvitzing so much it's showing through my clothes.")

Schlep - A tedious and long journey, depending on usage it can mean that you were carrying something. (Ex: "I had to schlep all the way across campus, my backpack was so heavy." Usually denotes a long walk, but other forms of transportation are acceptable too. "You drove all the way to New York from Florida? That's quite the shlep.")

Shtati - Something really cool. (Ex: "I visited my friend's place and they had a shtati mezuzah!")

Neshama - Soul. (Ex: "Mazel tov on your conversion, you have such a strong Jewish neshama!")

Balagan - A big mess, chaotic, confusing (Ex: "Moshe forgot to bring challah for shabbat dinner, and it turned into this big balagan")

Achi/Achoti - "Achi" literally means "my brother," but can also be used like bro or dude, "achoti" is the feminine equivalent meaning "sister"

Yalla - Come on, let's go (Ex: "Yalla yalla, you're going to make us late again")

Mishpacha - Family. Doesn't have to be literal blood relatives, usually a sign of warmth or friendship. (Ex: "I care about every Jew, they're all my mishpacha.")

Pshhh - Interjection sound, to express respect or agreement with what someone is saying, but can also be playfully poking fun at someone taking themselves too seriously, can be used sarcastically.

Achla - amazing, awesome, great, the best (Ex: "You graduated from university? Achla!")

Sheina Punem (Shayna Punim) - Pretty face (Ex: My bubbe kept pinching my cheeks and calling me a sheina punem) Can be used ironically, in which case it means "a disgrace."

Ahavat Yisrael - to love your fellow Jew (Ex: "I firmly believe in ahavat yisrael, even if it's hard sometimes.")

Schande - Shame, dishonor among the nations, meaning a Jew who represents Jews badly, a serious insult. (Ex: "He's a schande, he feeds into antisemitic stereotypes.")

Schmutz - Dirt, stain. (Ex: "Use your napkin, you've got schmutz on your face.")

Amalek - Any enemy of the Jewish people. ("[Fill in blank] is the modern Amalek, they hate the Jews.")

Lanceman/Landsmen - Two jews from the same place, a point of connection between two Jews who now live far away from their hometown. (Ex: "Your grandma is from Crown Heights? Mine too, our grandparents are landsmen!")

Goyisch - Something not Jewish (Ex: "I don't listen to Taylor Swift, her music is too goyisch for me.")

Goyischekop/Goyische-kop - Goyisch head, a jew who thinks/sounds like a non-jew. (Ex: "How could you say about your fellow Jew? Do you have a goyische-kop or something?")

Kindaleh/Kinderlach - Little children (Ex: "I passed by the school and saw the kindaleh on the playground, they're so cute!")

Chamud/Chamuda/Chamudi - Sweetie, cutie, usually aimed at children, but can be a term of endearment between a couple. Can be condescending when said rudely to another adult, like "Sweetheart" can be in English. (ex: "Goodnight, Chamudi. I can't wait to see you tomorrow.")

Daven - to pray ("Are you going to join us for davening?")

Frum - A religiously observant Jew. ("He's frum, he davens three times a day.")

Treif - Unkosher, generally something not good, doesn't have to literally refer to a food. ("I trained my dog to stop barking when I say 'treif!'.")

Bubkis - Zero, nothing, nada ("Moshe got a gift from bubbe and I got bubkis.")

Kvetch - To complain ("I'm just kvetching, I'm not that upset about it.")

Kvell - Extreme pride. ("I heard your daughter made it into her top school, you must be kvelling!")

Mensch - A good, admirable person. ("He volunteers every week, he's a mensch.")

Chillul HaShem - Disgracing God's name, someone who does something that makes Jews look bad.

Kiddush HaShem - Something that sanctifies God's name, brings honor to God. ("I love seeing you wear a kippah, it's a kiddush HaShem!")

Bubbe meise - Little white lies ("He told his teacher a bubbe meise about his dog eating his homework.")

I should acknowledge that these are mostly Yiddish words, as my experience is primarily with Ashkenazi Jews. If you would like to add common slang from your community (like Ladino phrases, Judeo-Arabic, Italki, etc) I would love to learn about them!

#there are so many other words but i use these all the time #add whatever you want!#jumblr #frumblr #jewblr #yiddish #hebrew #jewish #jewish culture #j tag #jew tag

1K notes · View notes

pettytiredandjewish · 7 days

Note

antizionism is not antisemetism and you are delusional for believing so. the victim complex is strong

Well….it seems that you really don’t know the history of the term anti Zionism. Let me help you out a bit. The term anti Zionism was created by the Russians during the Soviet Union. The Russians hated jews. During that time period they wanted to find a way to destroy jews and their culture. That’s where anti Zionism comes in.

If you haven’t read Dara Horn’s people loves dead jews, she does an amazing job with going into detail about what happened- I’m gonna summarize it (I may not do it justice)…

During the 1920’s and 30’s the USSR was “supporting” Yiddish culture- they would pay for Yiddish language schools, theaters, publishing houses, etc. A lot of Russian jews were thriving in Russia during this time period due to the USSR “support”. But the Soviets wasn’t doing all of this to be kind and good. This was part of a larger plan to brainwash the jews so that they would submit to the Soviet regime. It came with a price.

The Soviets would eliminate anything in the celebrated jewish “nationality” that didn’t suit soviet needs. If you DIDNT practice your religion, study traditional Jew texts, Spoke Hebrew, or support Zionism- you were awesome. The soviets pioneered a well known slogan- which has spread all over the world and which it remains popular today: “it was not antisemitic, merely anti- Zionist”. The Soviets managed to persecute, imprison, torture, and murder thousands of Jews….

The only reason that the Soviets allowed Yiddish was so that they could continue their Jew hating game. Soviet Yiddish schools changed the language to get rid of biblical and rabbinic Hebrew. Why? Because Hebrew was and is still part of Jewish culture. The Soviets also forced Russian “anti-Zionism” Jews (who was brainwashed into hating their own Jewishness) to write stories and plays that would show how “horrible” traditional Jewish practice was. They would create these happy heroes who would reject both religion and Zionism.

This continued until the Soviets moved on to the next phase- purging Russian jews. If you were caught in a synagogue, a Jewish centered club, etc. you would be imprisoned, murdered, or exiled. This went on until the Soviets started to do the same thing to the anti Zionist jews.

Y’all this is why anti Zionism is antisemitic. Please know a terms history before you start spitting it out- thinking you know what it means. Anti Zionism is literally rooted into antisemitism. And the reason why a lot of countries and people use this term is because- (drum roll please)- they hate jews. This is why I keep telling y’all to please read up on history. Don’t get your info from social media or random websites. Just pick up a book, journals, or sourced papers and read them. It’s not that hard…

#jumblr #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #anti zionism = antisemitism #holy crap #y’all really need to read #i’m so tired of this shit

177 notes · View notes

snowviolettwhite · 3 months

Text

I am to starting un-following people who are being antisemitic in the name of free Palestine. People who I was following for fan fandom things just blogging and re-blogging antisemitic propaganda and spreading misinformation. I had to un-followed someone who joked about how Hamas should be president, I don't care if it was a joke. It is was not funny.

Almost everything I see in regards to free Palestine movement has antisemitism in it. People are supporting know antisemitic terrorists groups and still think they are woke.

If you are not Jewish it is not for you to say what is or is not antisemitism. Jewish people have stood with other marginalized groups but have not seen that same support for us. It is like everyone hates us, no mater what.

Someone said Jewish people talking about antisemitism when Palestinians are suffering is the same as turning the phrase "black lives matter" to "white lives matter." If I see another non Jewish indigenous person calling Jewish people European colonizers I will go crazy. Stop comparing The Middle East to North America and Australia and stop erasing Jewish history.

People saying Jewish people have white privilege ignores that fact they have and still experience prosecution based on looks. Personally, strangers have knew I was Jewish without me saying anything and I do not have a Jewish last name. People have told me to my fact that I was too pretty to be Jewish and that I was unconventionally attractive and why I was not getting lady leading roles. Because I was cute but in a weird quirky way. I love playing the quirky characters, I see myself in them, they wear awesome costumes and I have fun playing them. But those are not commitments. The white actors and musician, people who are considered unconventionally attractive are usually ethically Jewish. Those are just small microaggression.

I should not have to education people on what blood libel is, they should do it themselves. This Ignores the fact Jewish people have been experience prosecution for over 2000s years and the massive increase in hate crimes targeted towards them.

-----

Also, I am annoyed that my posts about antisemitism are doing better than my posts about fan-fiction, fandom and my interests.

#antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #jewish actors #jewish history

214 notes · View notes

balioc · 4 months

Text

Holiday Engineering: What Not to Do

We can learn a lot from Chanukah, because Chanukah is a garbage-tier holiday.

I mean this in a mostly-detached, mostly-analytic way. Like many people who were raised Jewish, I have some very fond and happy memories of Chanukah. Anything can accrue fond and happy memories, if you have a way of getting people to do it. But Chanukah is full of features that actively detract from its being resonant, impressive, memorable, or fun. It is an anti-advertisement for its community.

If you're a would-be designer-of-holidays, this is actually a really useful thing. Mimicking the good and successful holidays is quite hard; their quality tends to hinge on a lot of idiosyncratic hard-to-replicate factors, and "invent something as cool and punchy as the $WHATEVER" can be a tall order. But it's easy to look at a design failure and say, "I"m not going to do that."

With that, let's go into the details:

CHANUKAH: THE GOOD

Timing. It's a midwinter festival-of-lights. Solid start. Everyone loves those. Brightness and festival cheer, in the long cold winter nights, is practically a need for many. The holiday mostly skates by just on being the winter light festival for the Jews. A+. Or, really, we should knock that down to an A, because Chanukah usually comes too early to be ideal for this purpose, but -- still, quite good.

Traditional food (side dishes). Latkes are incredibly popular, and for excellent reason. If you're trying to settle on a food that everyone will love, "fried potatoes" is a damn good choice.

CHANUKAH: THE NEUTRAL

Symbols. There's really just one that matters: the chanukiyah (nine-branched menorah). Which is, on paper, a very cool and snappy symbol. Distinctive silhouette, ritual engagement, plus the allure of fire. But it loses a lot of points for the fact that you don't actually light the whole damn thing, and get the proper visual effect, until the very end of a long-ass holiday when everyone's enthusiasm and attention have ebbed. On the first night, in particular, you light just two candles in your chanukiyah, and it looks lopsided and sad.

Traditional food (sweets). Jelly donuts are fine, I guess, if uninspiring and uninspired. Chanukah gelt is pretty lame as candy goes...but from a holiday-design perspective, it's hard to go too far wrong with giving kids candy.

Music. "Maoz Tzur" is kinda pretty. "Oy Chanukah!" is kinda fun. That's pretty much it, barring some silly kids' music (and I guess that Adam Sandler thing). Nothing that will knock anyone's socks off. But, honestly, two decent songs is more than many good holidays have.

Gifts. Being the big annual gifting holiday is a double-edged sword. It's some super-powerful mojo, culturally speaking. People are obsessed with giving and receiving gifts, in a way that's very hard to excise or evade, no matter how often you trot out your utilitarian language about deadweight loss. Chanukah gets a lot of its traction out of the fact that it's the holiday where you get presents. But. (a) In the modern world, the gifting holiday is unavoidably a locus of stress and misery for many people, and Chanukah doesn't have nearly enough upside serving to support that burden. (b) Chanukah is bad at being a gifting holiday. The gifting is not well-integrated into the event, it's a tacked-on thing copied over from Christmas, and it shows. There's no real ritual surrounding it, no presents-under-the-Christmas-tree equivalent, certainly no Santa Claus. Worse yet, the eight-day-holiday thing means that either you need a set of gifts whose awesomeness is equally divisible by eight (mega-awkward), or else you have inconsistencies and disappointments.

CHANUKAH: THE BAD

Theme. What is the holiday about, when everything is said and done? What is our key takeaway message from all the shit we're doing. "God is great, God looks out for His people, God performs mighty miracles." Stop. Shut up. You fail. That's every holiday, if you're operating within a religious tradition. You need something more than that, something powerful and deep and important and special, to be even halfway-decent as a holiday. But for the vast majority of Jews (including Jews in the most orthodox and observant denominations), that's pretty much all you get. Because...

Mythology. The story of Chanukah, the holiday's narrative raison d'etre, is just unconscionably bad. In some extremely vague sense, it's a story about Jews overthrowing foreign oppressors and casting off foreign influences...which is already pretty bad from a modern liberal perspective, we don't like jingoistic ethnonationalism these days. But the actual events of the Chanukah story are less about Jews-against-foreigners than they are about Jews-against-other-Jews. It is a story about fanatics seizing power and murdering cosmopolitans. Virtually everyone hates that shit, up to and including the most tribal-minded Jews. The rabbis of the Talmud were pretty iffy about Chanukah for exactly this reason, and didn't talk about it much, with the result that the holiday doesn't have much in the way of supporting cultural infrastructure. And you really can't tell the Chanukah myth without that horrible stuff; it's so baked-in that it gets incorporated into even the most sanitized propagandistic Hebrew-school versions of the tale (with exactly the effects that you'd expect on Hebrew school students). The miracle of the oil feels like a tacked-on narrative coda, because it is, because without it the only possible moral of the story would be "kill your neighbor if he's not pious enough for you." But it's much too little, much too late. The miracle of the oil is super lame by miracle standards: no one is saved from danger, there are no memorable SFX, the whole thing is relevant only to the rituals of a long-vanished Temple.

[There are several lessons that can be learned from this particular problem, at multiple levels of abstraction.]

Structure. You can have a good eight-day holiday, but a festival of that length needs an arc. The days need to be distinct from each other. You need to be either building up to a climax, or -- more commonly, as with Passover and [the twelve days of] Christmas -- coming down from a main celebration at the beginning in a long pleasant haze of semi-special time. Chanukah is flat and internally undifferentiated, except for the addition of more candles to the chanukiyah. You can't sustain real holiday feeling that long, and there's no particular day on which you're supposed to do anything special, so it all just turns into a mush of "how much do we care right this moment?"

Activities. The traditional dreidel game is the worst, most boring, most unbalanced game in the history of games. Pushing it on children only makes those children hate Chanukah, and Judaism, and games, and you.

Traditional food (entrees). There's no classic Chanukah dish that can serve as a viable main course, unless you're one of those people who can happily eat fried potatoes as an entire meal. This is a glaring omission. It's particularly bad for Chanukah, because Chanukah has so little else going for it that it really needs to lean hard on the standard holiday "gather for a festive meal" thing.

Social role. As many people will eagerly tell you, Chanukah was a pretty minor holiday for most of Jewish history; it got big largely because of a marketing push in the 19th and 20th centuries, mostly because people got scared about the prospect of the younger generations assimilating, and wanted to give them a holiday to compete with Christmas. Which is maybe the worst idea that anyone has ever had. For more reasons that I can easily list here, modern Western Christmas is an absolute SSS-tier holiday, one of the very best of all time. Setting yourself up as a direct competitor to Christmas -- inviting your own people to make that comparison -- is tantamount to telling them that your traditions and your community are worthless and weak, and that they should join the ranks of the gentiles. And that would be true even if your own offering were something halfway decent. Trying to do it with Chanukah...it's like Estonia declaring war on the US. It's the ultimate "we have food at home." It is, if you'll pardon my saying so, Christian rock.

#holiday analysis

159 notes · View notes