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#jeff besos
queerism1969 · 1 year
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urgentkettle · 8 months
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Elon Musk has so much an opportunity to actually be funny if he fights Zuckerberg. He should go in with poison tipped boxing gloves. But then he sees that Besos has drank from the poisoned cup of wine, he knows the scheme is up. He’ll strike Zuckerberg but, in the ensuing scuffle, they switch gloves. Zuckerberg will land an opposing blow to Musk, but it will be too late.
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The year is 2033. Twitter’s agonising crash into bankrupcy has imparted a singular message on the people of Earth: No ammount of money can buy one iota of competence. In the wake of this revelation, billionaires are dragged from their mansions, burned alive in the streets, and feasted upon by the masses in a world-spanning summer barbeque, that will one day be referred to as “The Juicy Justice Jamboree”.
A Half-chicken-fried Elon Musk will smugly insist that, actually, this was all part of his plan to redistribute the wealth by shaking the publics faith in the 1%. This will not be a thinly-veiled attempt to save avoid his finger-licking fate. In fact, Elon will not even be alive in this moment. The childish, self-serving, face-saving lies spewing from his mouth-watering corpse will simply be his body’s natural reflexive response, the death throws of a life lived in an imagined reality, enabled by the limitless resources of an increasingly-exploited humanity. 
A section of the population will believe Musk’s claims, forming a widespread cult, and attempt to overthrow the new world. Their plans of revolution will be halted, however, as they soon find that such a task would require leaving the home, and interacting with women. 
Before being ground down and turned into sausages, Martin Shkreli will be forced to Overdose on vast quantities of Insulin, and his resulting Hot Dogs will be given exclusively to diabetics. 
A Joanne Rowling stew will be prepared by a diverse, multicultural, multiethnic crew of culinary staff, that feature representation of every gender identity, gender expression sexual preference, romantic preference, race, ethnicity, nationality, neurology, religious and political beliefs. Despite the efforts gone to assure her that wealth status is the motivation for inclusion in the chosen recipe, she will insist it is a misogynist plot orchestrated by transgendered, jewish snowflakes, and that the vast majority of people are actually perfectly happy about her use of poor children as indentured servants and furniture. The flavour profile of the resulting stew will be characterised “very bitter”.
The only billionaire to avoid being eaten will be Jeffrey Bezos, who will instead be lost his Amazon delivery escort on the way to the barbeque. His corpse will be discovered 3 months later, his bones pulverised as a result of being recklessly forced into mailbox obviously too small for his mass.
The overcooked Trump steaks will remain untouched, left to go stale, and eventually fed to the many wild dogs, coyotes, and foxes of the neighbourhood, who reluctantly eat the old, fatty meat.
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queenie435 · 2 years
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spockeye-fierce · 3 months
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x3nshit · 1 year
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at what point will the billionaires get bored enough with their money that they finally start caring about social issues
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jesuscumsock · 10 months
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she amazon on my jeff till i bezos
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politicalx3n · 1 year
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THIS.
We’re being fed all these ideas on how the average person should stop doing pretty basic things to stop climate change while no pressure is put on the billionaires who cause a large amount of it
(story from@hazelisonline on instagram)
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Why did it go out of style for millionaires to flex by building beautiful libraries, theaters, and public buildings? Like bring back the vibe that built Carnegie hall.
Make billionaires showing off by building and putting their names on public buildings great again.
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mansorus · 1 year
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Look at this every day to remind myself
that there is more work to be done
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middlewestcrisis · 1 year
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a Christmas carol is more relevant than ever right now are u fucking kidding me blast that shit everywhere during the holidays let’s tell billionaires to their faces that their underpaid employees children could fucking die if they got sick because THEY UNDERPAY THEM and they could super easily fix that and if they don’t they are horrible people doomed to be remembered as such and their wealth will rot right next to them because in their hands it was as useless as they were.
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queerism1969 · 1 year
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The 2022 Capricorn full moon hits these signs hardest
The Capricorn full moon is on July 13, and it's the LeBron James of lunations. Is your zodiac sign one of the sign this supermoon hits hard?
     Yep, it’s that time of the month again. On July 13 at 2:39 EST, we have our seventh full moon of 2022. This July full moon, known as the Buck Moon, occurs in steady, enterprising earth sign Capricorn and it’s a major lunation for your goals, ambitions and entrepreneurial pursuits.      Six months ago, the Capricorn new moon had us thinking seriously about our career goals and ambitions.…
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fit-fame · 1 year
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60% of Top Lottery Jackpots Have These 4 Numbers in Common.
Powerball, Mega Millions, Super Lotto, Fantasy, you name it... There are 275,223,510 different combinations that can be drawn... And yet for the BIGGEST WINS IN U.S. HISTORY... 40% of the time the first number was a variation of 1 (either 1, 10, or 11)... 45% of the time the winning Powerball was 19 (notice how 1 + 9 = 10?)... 50% of the time the winning Powerball was a variation of 7 (see here why 7 is such a common number and how it appears every 2 weeks...) Want to be even more tripped out? Click here
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haunted-meatsack · 1 year
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a meme my partner made today after a meeting at his work.
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Personally, my reactions to the Ring's of Power have been either "yo that's kickass!" Or "bing bong this is trash." It's mostly fun tho, it was bound to have the Amazon taint to it, just didn't think Jeff Besos would be so insecure about his bald head that he'd want the elves to have short hair, but that's how it be.
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