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#jc3 incorrect quotes
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Teo: With great power… comes great cowardice.
Rico: What?
Teo: He ran away.
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Mario: There they are! Land right next to them.
Rebel: Right. Land?
Mario: You do know how to land this helicopter, right?
Rebel: Uh, yeah. That just means stop flying, right?
Mario: Brace for impact!
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Civilian: You know, I really think we should try a non-violent approach to resolve this.
Rico, hefting his M488: I agree, except replace the word ‘non’ with ‘extremely’ and include the phrase ‘Bavarium explosion extraordinaire’.
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Rebel: Miss me with that ‘weapon accuracy’ shit. I’m shooting everything. I’m laying down cover fire. I’m shooting the walls. I’m shooting my teammates. I’m shooting myself. My accuracy is 100 percent, y’all just don’t know what I’m aiming at.
Mario, laughing: I didn’t even hear the rest because I can’t get over “miss me with that ‘weapon accuracy’ shit”, like I’ve never heard a more perfect phrase in my life.
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Rico after barely escaping death for the 100th time: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Sheldon: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Rico: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.
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Rico: *walks in slowly, carrying a gun, a threatening look on his face*
A soldier, sounding exhausted: *sighs heavily* Really? Not again.
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Rico, over the CommLink: Alright, guys. Get ready to launch Operation Circle of Confusion.
Rebel: Uh, Rico? It kinda looks more like a triangle from down here.
Rico: What?
Rebel: I’m just saying, it doesn’t look much like a circle. It looks more like we’re forming a triangle. Just a side note.
Rico: Okay, fine. Triangle of Confusion! Rhombus of Terror! Parabola of Mystery! Who cares?! GET THE FUCKIN’ SHOW ON THE ROAD!
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Soldier: This guy made it effortlessly through our defenses. He must be one smart son of a bitch.
Mario, meanwhile: Man, I am so lost.
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Rico: I’m a confident driver.
Mario: You almost ran someone over.
Rico: Confidently!
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Sheldon: What are you writing?
Rico: The DRM wants to know what kind of weapons we have. I’m letting them know it’s private information.
Sheldon, looking over Rico’s shoulder: This just says ‘fuck around and find out’ in calligraphy.
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Rico: It was tough. I suggested we flip a coin, but Zeno said he doesn’t like to gamble.
Rico: Of course, by saying that, he was gambling I wouldn’t smack him.
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Rico: My back hurts so bad.
Rebel: From what?
Rico: From carrying this fucking team! God, it’s like you guys don’t know how to do anything!
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Sheldon: Mario, if you were a parent, what would you do if your son angered a dictator and destroyed a very valuable political alliance overnight?
Mario: Cheesecake Factory, at the minimum.
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Rosa: Do you take constructive criticism?
Mario: Not without crying.
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Rico: Guys, I screwed up, big time.
Sheldon: Son, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.
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Rico: I love you.
Mario: I love you more!
Rico: Don’t start a battle you can’t win.
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