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#james thinks regulus likes him because he bought him a christmas gift before they ever met??
xysidhe · 2 years
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So my best friend has been forced is willingly reading the first chapters of my new starchaser/wolfstar/canon divergent everyone WILL live fic and her responses are golden.
"When i read about the Black Brothers when you are writing them, it's like a tragic melody. "
"Also, I'm already crying for these boys."
"THIS CHAPTER IS BREAKING ME"
"That's honestly where I started to tear up. Reggie's letter back is ugh, so perfect "
"The knife is such a nice touch 👌 Reggie feeling the bitterness of jealousy is my favorite thing so far"
"Omg, it was so fucking good. Chapter 2 is my favorite so far"
So thats what everyone has to look forward to once I get enough written that I feel comfortable posting! Which at the rate I'm writing should be? A week? Maybe two?
#i forgot how hilarious it is to write angst and watch someone lose their shit over it#and its funny because to be this is angst lite like no ones died yet therefore its fine#this fic now lives rent free in two heads its spreading#she wasnt even part of the marauders fandom let alone the jegulus fandom before i developed this hyperfixation#now shes highly invested in these dead gay wizards#this fic was actually written to be a comfort fic for me because i wanted more happy Sirius and Regulus and less Major Character Death#and now its mutated out of control#i have an obsessive knife weilding yandere gremlin Regulus who can will and wants to cut a bitch#a Sirius who believes his brother is an angel and capable of no evil while aware he can cover up a murder#regulus is being adopted by the marauders before he even starts hogwarts because hes helping plan their pranks#solely so Sirius stops getting in trouble#regulus has a rivalry with James that only Regulus is aware of??#james thinks regulus likes him because he bought him a christmas gift before they ever met??#regulus also develops a ricalry with lily and SHE IS ALSO COMPLETELY UNAWARE#this fic is crack on steroids and im not even in the drivers seat its all Reggie#dead gay wizards#regulus arcturus black#hp marauders#regulus deserved better#jegulus#starchaser#james deserved better#james x regulus#regulus x james#harry potter marauders#the noble and most ancient house of stab a bitch black#the noble and most ancient house of black#house of black#sirius black#black brothers
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kazrbrekkr · 6 years
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Things That Shouldn’t Exist - Remus Lupin x Reader
Summary: Remus notices someone for the first time. He thinks that someone might fit into a category of things he’s already noticed, even if they don’t fit in with anything else.
Warnings: cursing/strong language
Words: 2058
Remus Lupin was certain that there could only be a few things that weren’t meant to exist.
The first was mirrors. This was down to two reasons, the first being that Remus was infuriated by the sight of himself. He was resigned seeing his face, having spent too many hours in the aftermath of the full moons inspecting it, examining for any sign of the monster he had become only hours previously. It was large mirrors, like the one that ran the full length of the back of the dormitory door, or the large thing above the sink in the dorm bathroom, that he hated. They refused to let him avoid the truth about how scarred and broken this disease had made him. The second reason that Remus hated mirrors was because he was tired of being forced to lie awake at one in the morning whilst Sirius attempted to style James’ hair, even with the latter boy continually swatting the former’s hands away.
The second thing was acid pops. The first time he ate one was in his first year at Hogwarts, when Peter had received a box from his Gran as a gift. Peter had shared them amongst his friends, though there was a glint of something Remus couldn’t quite place in his eyes as he did so. The thing was vile and tasted like it was burning a hole through the roof of his mouth. James thought it was the funniest thing he had ever witnessed when Remus promptly spat it out with disgust, retching. The next time he had eaten one was in fourth year, after Peter and Sirius had snuck out to Honeydukes the week before Halloween. They told Remus that the shop had received a shipment of muggle lollipops. He had no idea why he had ever trusted the little shits enough to accept the one offered to him. It was as disgusting as the last time. Nevertheless, Remus still bought Peter a box of acid pops every Christmas. They were the only thing he ever asked for, even if Remus suspected that it was just so Peter would have another opportunity to get Remus to eat them.
The third thing, and he wasn’t too sure why, was y/n.
It’s the first day back at school after the summer hols and Sirius is ranting about something Regulus said to him before they got on the train yesterday.
“Then the pillock told me that I wasn’t safe in that fucking house anymore, like I would ever go back into that hell hole again while that witch is still alive!” Sirius’ arms are flailing about in all directions. Peter ducks more than once to avoid being whacked in the face by a rogue hand.
“Do you think that, possibly, maybe, he didn’t mean it as a threat?” Peter says.
“The fuck else would he mean, Wormtail?”
Peter shrinks into himself a little. “Maybe he was trying to give you advice?” His voice is smaller now.
Sirius opens his mouth to retort but Remus cuts him off. “Pads, shut up. You’re reading into it too much.”
Sirius huffs, grabbing toast from the stack in front of him with more force than is probably necessary.
Remus turns to James, hoping for support, but finds him staring longingly at the entrance to the Great Hall. “Prongs.” No response. “James.” James draws in a breath.
Remus looks over at the doors and sees that Lily has just walked in, arm in arm with a friend that Remus can’t quite remember the name of. He elbows James as the girls sit down with Marlene, along the table from the group of marauders. James pushes his glasses up his nose and pretends to busy himself reading the Prophet.
“Potter?” Lily’s voice is clear in the silence amongst the boys. Sirius is glaring at his toast as he smothers it in jam. Peter has retreated into his bowl of porridge.
James doesn’t look up. “Evans?” He says, attempting to sound nonchalant. He doesn’t.
“Paper’s upside down.”
James glances up at her now. “Ah, yeah,” he pauses for a beat to look at Lily properly. “I got a tad distracted when you sat down.”
She flushes at this and the girl – Remus still couldn’t remember her bloody name – rolls her eyes dramatically.
“Lils? You’ve gone a bit pink,” Marlene says.
Lily’s friend snorts loudly at Marlene’s comment. “She’s the same colour as her tie.”
Marlene laughs when the girl – was it y/n? – jerks back in her seat. Lily had kicked her under the table. She mutters something about finding new friends.
The girl – it had to be y/n, Remus was certain now – makes eye contact with Remus. She shrugs, as if to say can you believe the two of them?
Remus smirks and rolls his eyes. I’ve been putting up with it all summer.
Miraculously, the boys manage to make it half way through their first period of herbology before Sprout splits them up.
“Mr Potter! I’ll thank you kindly to move to the other end of the bench and to restrain yourself from distracting Mr Lupin any further.” Sprout’s face is sweet as she says this.
James sputters, trying to find the words to explain that it was actually Remus that purposely spilled the stinksap over the two of them. Remus suppresses a laugh and pats James on the shoulder as he struts off.
Someone nudges Remus on the arm. He turns and y/n is there. She isn’t looking at him. Maybe she didn’t mean to nudge him. “Hi,” he grimaces. Why in the name of Godric is he being so formal?
Y/n replies immediately, “I saw that.” She’s talking about how minutes before, James was complaining about how much he hated the smell of the stinksap they were extracting from the plants. Remus had decided that, in order to shut him up, he would dump a bucket of the stuff over James’ head.
Remus has the audacity to look shocked. “I have no idea what you’re on about.”
“Also, you absolutely reek,” y/n pretends she hasn’t heard him. Her nose crinkles as she moves closer, reaching for her work gloves that have somehow moved to the other side of the bench. “Do you always smell like that?”
Remus turns back to his work. “Unfortunately, I only smell this great when I’ve doused myself in stinksap.”
“A confession! And yes, that is unfortunate.” She squeezes the plant too harshly. Sap sprays all over her robes. “Shit!”
“Miss y/l/n!”
“Sorry, Professor.”
Sprout moves away and Remus turns towards her. He screws up his nose in mock disgust. “Merlin! You absolutely stink! Do you always smell like that?”
Y/n grins at him, utterly whole-heartedly, and Remus has to stop himself from staring at her for too long. “Unfortunately, no. It’s a very exclusive fragrance and I can’t afford to waste it.”
Remus had never really noticed her before this year but now, y/n seemed to be everywhere. Her laugh danced around at the back of the charms classroom when Peter decided Remus would be his target when practicing Depulso. Her hand shot up across the table from Marlene’s in potions and she cuts Snape off midsentence. Exactly four times in the space of a week, y/n was sat on the bench across from Remus at various meals and caught his eye, rolling her eyes and gagging at something sappy that James said to Lily. Remus learns quickly how to stop himself from going red and drawing breath nearly every time she so much as looks in his direction.
Remus thinks it must be a mistake that he knows her. She’s not meant to exist in his little world.
It’s two in the morning and Remus is lying on the floor of the dorm, staring at the ceiling. He’s vaguely aware of James and Peter playing chess on one of the beds, and of Sirius reciting Shakespeare badly in a voice that isn’t quite loud enough to be considered shouting.
He’s zoned out, thinking about how y/n somehow managed to turn her porcupine into a pin – instead of a pincushion – yesterday in transfiguration when Sirius whacks him in the side of the head with his hairbrush.
“Moony!” Sirius’ voice is loud enough to be considered a shout now.
Remus grunts in response, pulling himself up from the floor.
“Leave him be, Pads,” Peter has climbed off the bed, smirking triumphantly, even as he talks. The only time James has ever beat him at chess was the one time he got pissed on fire whisky – even then, it was a close call. “He’s distracted by something.”
Sirius’ eyes light up. “Distracted by what?”
James, much to Remus’ displeasure, has the same look in his eyes when he glances over from the bed.
A group of them are in the library, crammed around a table behind the restricted section. Sirius likes sitting here because, despite its secluded corner, it gives him a good view of what’s happening in the room. Peter likes sitting here because it’s the only table that doesn’t have a squeaky leg. James and Remus like sitting here because they can gaze longingly at the locked door of the restricted section, just out of reach.
At the table, Lily, Marlene and y/n have squashed themselves onto a bench that’s only mean to seat two. Lily is getting flustered with the combination of trying to finish her potions essay (she’s the only one here who’s actually trying to get anything done) and James, who keeps kicking her under the table with his constant fidgeting.
Remus is wedged in between James and Peter, and is diagonally across the table from y/n. He can’t finish his homework for McGonagall with her there. She’s driving him mad.
“What’s the potion Slughorn was talking about the other day?” Marlene asks.
Sirius has been in a foul mood all morning. “He’s a fucking potions professor, he’s always talking about-”
“Wiggenweld?” Remus offers.
“That’s the one.” Marlene turns back to her parchment, scribbling notes quickly despite her limited arm movement as a result of being jammed between Lily and y/n.
Everyone falls into a steady silence, although Remus can’t figure out if it’s because they’re all stressed about deadlines or if it’s just that they’re all terrified of Madam Pince.
Remus has zoned out again. He tells himself that he’s only staring off in y/n’s direction. Not at her.
Y/n reaches forward and her cardigan sleeve rides up her arm. Her wrist is exposed as she flicks trough the pages of the notes that cover the table. It doesn’t have a hair-tie wrapped around it for once.
“Oi, mate, you alright?” Remus turns his head and James is grinning at him, a spark in his eyes when he realises this is what dear Moony has been distracted by.
Remus swallows. “Yeah,” he glances back across at y/n. He was distracted by her fucking wrist. “I’m fine.”
Y/n finds what she’s looking for. She grabs it triumphantly and waves the paper about for everyone to see. Everyone doesn’t see. Just Remus and James.
“What is it?” Remus mouths across to her. He can feel James still grinning him and his cheeks are starting to go red.
“The secret recipe for l’eau de stinksap.” She’s grinning now too, just as much as she was the day she was covered in the vile stuff.
Remus goes to laugh and chokes on air. James responds by hitting him (hard) on the back. Lily looks up at the racket they’re causing and shushes James. Sirius, joining in, also shushes James – in a much louder fashion. Chaos erupts in this cramped corner of the library.
They’re chased out by Pince 3 minutes later. Y/n and Remus accidentally take off in a different direction from the rest and collapse against a wall two floors down.
Y/n’s face is flushed and the pair are breathing heavily. Remus can’t stop himself from staring but she’s staring back so y/n doesn’t seem to mind. He can’t remember how long it took to regain their breath.
This exact moment is too… real for Remus to comprehend.
Certain things, Remus believed, weren’t meant to exist. That didn’t necessarily mean he didn’t want them to.
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