Hold My Hand Pt. 5
My relationship with Mycroft started growing even stronger after my visit to the obstetrician. Watching him set eyes upon Baby Holmes for the first time brought tears to my eyes and solidified my decision to keep Mycroft in the baby’s life. He looked at the sonogram screen with all the love of a proud papa, and in that moment, I wished he was Little Bee’s father. He is already a better father to her than Sherlock could ever be. Could I ask him to fill that role? I have my doubts about Mycroft wanting to attach himself to an unwed mother who has a child with his brother. Not very “International Man of Mystery,” now is it?
While the doctor was performing her standard exam, Mycroft held my hand tightly in his, and was slow to release it even after. Now, each time we see each other, it is a natural thing for him to reach for it again, entwining our fingers together, or to tuck it into the bend of his arm. There is a protectiveness to this small gesture, an intimacy I am starting to get used to - one I don’t want to call attention to, for fear he will stop. And I really don’t want him to stop.
Mycroft has also taken to calling me more frequently, as his schedule allows, of course. But I can absolutely count on him calling me early every morning and again before I go to bed at night. He says it’s for his own benefit, but I feel a little tingly each time I see his name pop up on my phone. Hearing “sweet dreams” from his deep, crisp voice is all I need to ensure the next 8 hours will pass seamlessly.
I’m about 22 weeks into my pregnancy when I start feeling some familiar … urges, and I’m really hoping Mycroft will want to help me with those. I’ve started being a little more flirtatious in my text messages; using nicknames, signing my texts with “xoxo.” Whatever I can think of to drop little hints I’ve got a crush. He did say I could ask him for anything, didn’t he? How do you ask your best friend if he wants to be “friends with benefits?”
While I’m trying to think of a way to seduce confess my love for my new best friend, I unlock my phone to review my recent texts with the man. Could it be the Iceman is flirting back?
M: Good morning, lovelies! How are my favorite girls today?
Y: Good morning, Uncle M! ☺️
Y: We’re doing just fine, though someone did not enjoy our breakfast today.
M: Naughty Little Bee, giving her Mother a hard time. Perhaps it’s time her Uncle speaks to her about the expectations that come with being a Holmes?
Y: Do you mean the parts about being fiendishly clever and unworldly good looking? Or the parts about finding trouble around every corner, but possessing the ability to talk yourself out of it?
M: I was thinking more along the lines of Always listen to Mummy, but I can throw in your bits too.
Y: LOL. I just wish I could remember what was in the tea you brought me last week that helped with the nausea.
Y: Yes dear?
M: Very clever, Y/n. If you want me to call you Honey, Y/n, all you have to do is ask. If you want me to bring you some tea with honey, I can be there in 20 minutes.
Y: Just the tea… for now. See you soon! Xoxo
M: Good afternoon, ladies! Were you finally able to take your nap?
Y: Hi Mycroft. Yes, we did. But I had a terrible nightmare!
M: I’m sorry to hear that. Do you want to tell me about it?
Y: It was so awful. I had a dream the baby came but when I brought her home, she didn’t like me!
M: That does sound terrible, but I can’t think of single person on earth that doesn’t like you, Y/n. I’m sure Baby Holmes will like you too.
Y: Maybe. I hope so.
Y: Do you like me, Mycroft?
M: You know I do.
Y: Even when I text you in the middle of the night to tell you a joke I just remembered?
M: Even then.
Y: Even when we go out to lunch and I order the salad and you order the chicken, but halfway through I want to trade because I don’t want salad?
M: Then too.
Y: Even when this belly gets so big I can’t put my own shoes on anymore?
M: Especially then. I will make it my duty to help you.
Y: Thanks Mycroft.
M: Anytime, honey.
Y: Mycroft, are you at home right now?
M: I am. I was able to finish up my work a little early tonight. Why do you ask?
Y: I was hoping you could come over. I did something I shouldn’t have.
M: Is everything alright? I can be there in 10 minutes
Y: Everything is fine. Except Titanic is on…
M: Oh, Y/n! Not again! I thought you weren’t going to watch that anymore? You always get so upset!
Y: Well I wasn’t, but then Jack! And Rose!😭
M: I know, I know.
M: I’ll come, but you have to stop watching that film all the time!
Y: I want you to draw me like one of your French girls.
Y: I’m making popcorn….
M: 10 minutes.
That last message was sent about 10 minutes ago, so Mycroft will be arriving any minute. I’ve promised myself tonight is the night. I am going to tell Mycroft how I feel. All I have to do is not freak out and just be honest. And no crying. I’m really hoping he won’t reject me outright and pray this doesn’t ruin our friendship. And who knows? Maybe it doesn’t work out and Little Bee just has a really great Uncle in her life. Or maybe it does, and Mycroft becomes something more? Fingers crossed!
2 hours later, our movie is ending and I let out a heavy sigh. Mycroft, who is nearly dozing off while sitting next to me, is instantly on high alert, running his eyes over me quickly, trying to spot what has unsettled me.
“That was a heavy sigh, my dear. Are you well?” He asks.
“Oh, yes. I’m fine. This movie is just so…”
I laugh. “No! Romantic! And sad. They were so in love.”
“Do you think so? With just a few days together?”
“When you know, you know.” I shrug and Mycroft gives me a pained look.
Carefully, he asks, “Is that how it was for you and Sherlock?”
“No.” I shake my head slowly. “No, it wasn’t like that. I found him interesting and mysterious, and fun to be around. But I felt like I was always an afterthought for him. The work had to come first, you know? No matter what. And he wasn’t really the romantic sort. We were attracted to each other, sure, and there were some tender feelings, but looking back now, I don’t think I could call it love.”
Mycroft nods his understanding, but says nothing.
“Have you ever been in love, Mycroft?”
“Oh. Me? Well, yes. I suppose so.”
I feel a flare of jealousy, but push on. “You suppose?! Sounds like a yes to me. Was she special?”
“She is everything.”
Is. Not was. This person is still around. Well that’s settled then.
“Will you tell me about her? I ask, putting on a brave face as my heart is secretly breaking.
“I shouldn’t… it’s complicated, and certainly one-side and it will probably never come to anything.”
“The best things are always complicated, Mycroft. That’s why it always feels so good when we finally get what we want. We fought for it, earned it. I’d love to know who has stolen your heart. She must be pretty amazing to capture your attention. You know you can tell me anything.”
“Alright.” He looks down at his hands as he hesitates. “She is… incredible. Perfect. Funny and kind, and devilishly clever. Quiet, but not shy. She’s extremely humble, but proud of her accomplishments. She is astonishingly patient and sees the best in everyone.”
Mycroft is smiling as he describes his love, but each new character trait he lists is like a shard of glass jabbing into my soul. She sounds like a freaking saint.
“She has a magnetic energy and makes everyone feel like they are the most important person in the room. She is so, so strong and can bear unbelievable hardships - but she’s fragile too, and feels things so deeply…”
Mycroft pauses when he looks up and sees the trace of tears forming in my eyes. Slowly, he reaches out to take my hands delicately in his. His voice gets softer.
“She’s absolutely beautiful when she cries, but as radiant as the sun when she smiles. She likes sappy, romantic films and love songs on the radio. She hates butter on her popcorn, but likes honey in her tea. She’s the first person I want to speak to every morning… and the person I want to kiss good night… I can’t remember what my life was like before I knew her, but I know it’s better with her in it. She’s become my whole world… and… she’s you, Y/n. It’s you. I’m in love with you and I have been for ages.”
I can’t hold back my tears any longer and allow them to roll down my cheeks freely. I never would have guessed he felt so strongly about me, but each word he speaks paints a radiant image of his love. His adoration nearly overwhelms me.
Mycroft pulls a handkerchief from his pocket and delicately wipes my tears away.
“I’m so sorry, Y/n. I do not mean to make your life more complicated, but I just had to tell you. These past few months have been some of the best of my life and I owe my new found bliss to you and your daughter.
I know I’ve already asked to be a small part of your lives, and I really have no right to ask for anything more, but Y/n, if you will let me, I know I could make both of you so very happy. I would spend the rest of my life trying to make that so. Please, won’t you tell me you love me too?”
“Yes.” I whisper, too choked up with emotion to say anything more. I nod my head as I move into the circle of Mycroft’s arms and whisper it again. “Yes.”
I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.
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