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#izzyposting
freakweasel · 2 years
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commander-minkowski · 7 months
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rewatching ofmd and it's so patently idiotic on its face that anyone ever believed izzy when he said he spent years massaging blackbeard's erratic moods or w/e. izzy does nothing but get into Situations and cause problems for everybody and it's ED who has to bail him out every time like a tired fortysomething who inherited his mom's neurotic chihuahua and is now responsible for preventing the bigger dogs at the dog park from tearing both of them apart bc izzy barked at them too shrilly
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273blw0 · 6 months
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I firmly believe Izzy was whittling the shark for himself as an embodiment of the narrative he's choosing, but then decided Lucius needed it more.
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izzylumalee · 6 months
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i just found a frame where N's legs clip through his coat lmao
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argetlam007 · 2 years
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Izzy Hands Gifs (9/?)
Inspired by @nightcolorz​ ‘s post about Ed slapping Stede’s ass with his sword, only to demonstrate it on poor Izzy’s buttocks :’)
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Izzy's story is actually so wild when you think about it like. Imagine there's this guy and he's your captain but you're also a little bit in love with him and you've been with him for thirty years only recently bro's been hella depressed but y'all are pirates so like. There's shit you have to do. So it's your job to make sure he's alive and whatever and you're the only other person in the world who knows that he doesn't actually kill people, it's just smoke and mirrors, so you're trying to maintain it best you can and you're killing people for him because if not you'll both die and then one day your boss-husband or whoever is like. Hey. Heard there's some English officers or whatever around and you're like, cool, easy money, so you're on this island with The Boyz and this absolute weirdo of a guy steals back one of his hostages but deadass gives you one?? And leaves?? So you go back to the ship and you're like. Hey boss. Guess what happened. And THEN he's like okay I need to meet this guy. And he's getting more and more obsessed with him while you watch and long story short you have to save his crew from the Spanish, and then YOUR crew dies, and you're like okay husband-boss can we go home now. But NOPE you're on this ship and in the span of like two weeks he tells you he's gonna kill the guy but then straight up falls in love with him?? And you're like. Right There. So your boss can't kill the guy and you're like, okay, another mess to clean up, I know how to to do this, so you stab him, but then your sword gets stuck in your mast and your boss-husband-captain of thirty years kicks you off the ship for a guy he met TWO WEEKS AGO?? No offense but like I'd sell his boyfriend out to the English too If I was him. What
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starrynyx · 5 months
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unpopular opinion but i really liked the flashback frame of "the crew" during izzys 2.08 monologue.
it's a callback to the crew as they were—but also, as they've always been. laughing and eating together, being a family. we see them do that a lot this season, in fact.
right before the flashback, izzy says: "it's about letting go of ego for something larger." and then we see not when they rescued izzy, not when they made him the new unicorn, not calypso's birthday. but a view of stede's revenge, and him in his fancy clothes, and blackbeard absolutely besotted and ivan and fang assimilated to stede's gentle piracy. you almost cant find izzy in the frame, but he's there. he's in the back, watching like a mop in a swiffer commercial, unable to let go of that precious ego.
it's a quick flashback, blink and you miss it before we're back on a close up of con's face. but that particular scene juxtaposed with the version of izzy giving this speech is DELICIOUS. this izzy who we have seen come full circle. who calls stede his captain, who plays and sings with the crew, who can laugh with ed, who whittles a little wooden shark.
this is the muppetification of izzy hands, complete. he is no longer living by traditional piracy — he's in stede bonnet's sandbox, and in stede bonnet's sandbox, the underdog always wins.
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dentatanongrata · 6 months
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izzy has so many scars now. all of them ed's work. he's missing numerous toes (did he have to eat the other ones, too?), he's missing a LEG, and now. the most damning. the thin scar on his head. always a reminder of what he couldn't do. couldn't kill ed. couldn't kill himself.
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flowers-of-io · 6 months
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Pardon the atrocious quality bc I took these screens on console, but I was doing Deep Dives and got this dialogue for the first time. And HOLY FUCK SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT. THANK YOU SLOANE. THANK YOU. I will forever be on the side of "the only way to defeat Xivu Arath is through sacrifice" and I can give 5 consecutive TED talks about it and I have been writing a fic about it for two years and everyone else can go home
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i think stede and izzy should make out actually
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thedreadblackpete · 2 years
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it’s so funny to me that izzy’s the only one that stede’s rude to, like he’s so nice and polite to everyone else, even when he hates them or they’re trying to KILL HIM but for some reason with izzy it’s just on sight. fuck this weird little stabby leather rat man and his bad attitude.
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freakweasel · 2 years
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I've been thinking a lot about the Izzy/Stede fight and how it relates to the (creator confirmed) sexual metaphor of Stede stabbing Ed. And the conclusion I have reluctantly come to is that, subtextually, Stede is a power bottom who rode Izzy so hard he broke his dick. In this essay I will
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brwnicons · 2 years
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Some fluff scenarios/blurbs about the little angry man who owns my heart
Izzy Hands x Reader
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☆ I'm sorry this is so messy -I couldn't order my thoughts about him so blurbs it is ☆
▪︎ Hugging Izzy is one of the best feelings to ever exist. He is uncomfortable with this kind of intimacy when in front of the crew, but as soon as you two are left alone it's him who will throw himself at your arms as he buries his head on the crook of your neck. When he is so close you can smell better his scent of rum and sea breeze, he loves being squeezed when hugged even he prefers not doing it to you because he is afraid he may hurt you. Bonus points if you pet his soft hair as you whisper him gentle words of affection. He will probably end up sobbing on your shoulder so, handle with care.
▪︎You know that scene where Ed and Stede are eating a snake? One of my favs btw
Well, imagine eating with Izzy one night, outside, by a campfire. Just the two of you. He loves to stargaze with you, helping you remember some constellations he knows by heart.
You could ramble about whatever thing that comes to your mind and he will listen with a dumb enamored grin on his face. He won't talk as much as you, but he will tell you anecdotes no one else in the crew knows. He also makes jokes and funny remarks if you're the one that tells the anecdote so he can listen to your laugh, the sound he could listen for hours and for which he has completly fallen.
▪︎It won't take you too much effort to convince him to teach you swordfighting. Even if you already manage yourself he is willing to teach you a few more techniques and tricks so you handle it better.
He just wants you to be safe. He normally accompanies you when approaching dangerous places so he can keep an eye on you and protect you if needed, but what if somehow you end up alone and hurt because you couldn't defend yourself? It's a thought he just can't digest.
But, be careful, this man has no mercy when it comes to teach you. He knows that the price of his bad lessons is your future harm, so he won't be easy on you.
Therefore, expect bruises and little cuts from his lessons, nothing too serious but just as painful as to encourage you to either dodge or block his sword thrusts.
▪︎ He has trouble sleeping but when he does he's the most adorable man. When he is deep asleep he leaves soft snores and loves to be held! He loves being little spoon and having you hug him, your warm body comforts him if he wakes up in the middle of the night because of the nightmares.
Speaking of, he does not have them everyday, he usually doesn't even dream, but when he does have them they're terrifying. He suddenly wakes up covered in a cold sweat, gasping for air as he touches the bed frenetically in an attempt to find you.
As soon as he glimpses your worried face he is mumbling every kind of apology as he throws himself in your arms to hug you tightly. When you soothe him with soft, reassuring words in an attempt to erase the memories of his previous nightmares he starts sobbing, begging you not to leave him.
Don't waste your time trying to wipe off his tears, kissing them away will only make him cry even more. He truly adores you.
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dykebeckett · 2 years
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here's the izzy gif for anyone who needs it. peace and love
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izzyjazzhands · 2 months
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I’m working in a different role than I normally do and I had thick black gloves… took the opportunity to wear just one. izzy mode
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argetlam007 · 2 years
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Izzy Hands Gifs (20/?)
as @vitruvianwatson has pointed out Ed’s “fucking doubt Blackbeard again and see what happens bitch” eyes  :’)
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