#ive been in a downward spiral ever since lol so im not trusting myself to make decisions abt whether or not we're keeping bodie
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his name is bodie
#in other related news: i took him to the vet and saw a cat years to human years sign and it said that a 6yo cat was abt 40 human years#and toby. my special guy. is 6 years old#ive been in a downward spiral ever since lol so im not trusting myself to make decisions abt whether or not we're keeping bodie#i don't think i have the time or headspace to spend as long as i did with toby on him but its a baby and im doing it a disservice if i dont#hes so lonely and sad and tiny but i am Comorbid and hate change so so so much#this poor baby#its past my bedtime so im sure ill feel 100% different in the morning#but im just. toby is getting older :(#i don't know what to do after he eventually passes away one day. like frankly i dont think ill be doing anything else for very long#ive loved pets before but. not as much as i love him :(#he could be starving and would run past food if i sat down to pet him#he sits and waits for me to get out of the shower upstairs (a place he's afraid of)#he knows what times i get home and wakes himself up from naps to wander upstairs to see me#he gets lost sometimes and meows until i talk to him so he knows how to get back to someplace safe#he's a HUGE cat but he's so gentle and sweet. he was even nice to the baby#not to be dramatic but i don't think I'll recover once he passed away. like i think that's it for me.#honest to god need to have my affairs in order come my mid thirties because. well.#he even comes over to lay w me when I'm crying :(#sorry abt all these tags#vent
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