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claudiafernandez96 · 3 years

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reckless with a capital R pt. 1 || claudia & cillian

discord thread featuring; claudia & @cilliankelly

when: december 20th, late night

mentions: @judetaylorhq @robinscnfm

where: east kingsboro

description: cillian and claudia get fucked up, steal a car then crash it

trigger warnings: yeah a lot. drug use, alcohol, DWI, theft, blood, injuries

Cillian

things were getting a bit too overwhelming for cillian. a lot was changing in a very short amount of time and every time he thought about the future he began to panic, his chest so tight with anxiety it was difficult to breathe. he needed to do something dumb. something really dumb. and who did he know that was ALWAYS down to do some really dumb shit? claudia. they were both already absolutely fucked up. cillian didn't remember the last thing he was ever this drunk. physically could not remember. everything was starting to blur a bit to the point where it was hard to even put one foot in front of the other. if only they didn't have to walk at all... claudia was hanging off of claudia, the two not getting very far on their feet, stumbling through the darkened streets of east kingsboro. "i am soooooooo fucked right now, you don't even know. i mean, you DO know, shit," cillian laughed, turning his head to look at claudia. taking his eyes off his feet for two seconds was enough to almost have him tripping over himself, almost taking claudia down with him. "fuck. what a night. we gotta do this more often," he slurred. they used to do this shit all the time when they were dumb teenagers. why did they ever stop? cillian couldn't remember. "we should get outta here. go somewhere." cillian's eyes landed on a car parked just up the street. no one was around. cillian smiled mischievously over at claudia. "i think i just had an idea," he sang.

Claudia.

Claudia and Cillian’s relationship had change a little bit recently. But in actuality...had it really changed at all? They still felt the same way about each other that they always had. Things were just clearer now. Their dynamic hadn’t really changed, so they both still made dumb decisions together. This might be on the list of one of the dumbest things they were ever going to do. Claudia had pregamed this. She’d done one too many lines of coke before they went to the bar in the middle of the day on a Sunday. Then, Claudia went to the bathroom and did more likes of coke. Shot after shot after shot had been downed by the pair. Why? They were both self hateful people who fed off of each other’s hatred for themselves. They didn’t care what happened to themselves which was one of the many reasons they gravitated towards each other. They stumbled out of the midnight rodeo after literally being kicked out. “I hate this hick bar anyway!” She yelled, turning to give the bartender the middle finger even though she would have kicked out anyone acting remotely as stupid out of Blue. They walked on the street, hanging on each other like the dumbasses they were. Claudia’s green eyes followed Cillian’s and she immediately knew what he was thinking. “I’m driving!!!” She spurred, running and nearly tripping over herself and she nearly hugged the luxury car that was parked on the street. “How do you wan’ bet its locked?” She mused before she was actually opening the fucking driver side door. “Oh shit.”

Cillian

cillian was actually laughing, watching claudia run ahead of him towards the car. he was suddenly serious though when the door actually opened, his mouth forming a small ‘o’ as his eyes widened. “holy fucking shiiiiit, are you kidding me?! fuck,” he breathed as he reached claudia at the car. this nice a car? unlocked? in east kingsboro? the only thing that could be stupider is if— cillian reached into the car and lowered the sun visor on the driver side. and just like that, they keys fell into the driver seat. it couldn’t be that easy. it’s like the guy was asking for it, honestly. cillian widened his eyes even further, his eyes meeting claudia’s. “claudia. holy fuggin’ shit.”

Claudia.

No way. This wasn’t real. It was like this car was just asking to be stolen. What dumbass would actually leave their car just chilling, unlocked on the street in New York City. They had to steal it now. “Lemme, lemme.” She said, snatching the keys from him but immediately dropping them as soon as they were in her hands. She cursed under her breath in Spanish as she bent down to pick them up. Except! She fell right onto the snowing ground right on her ass. She mumbled some more Spanish profanities under her breath as she struggled to stand up. “Maybe you.” She decided, waving the keys in the air towards him.

Cillian

cillian couldn’t help it. claudia was in her ass and he nearly doubled over laughing. he was really fucking drunk and that was maybe the funniest thing he had ever seen. even funnier though was when claudia offered him the keys. now. cillian didn’t drive. couldn’t drive. didn’t even have a license. but seeing claudia on her ass in the snow made cillian feel like him getting behind the wheel was still the safer bet. he took the keys from her before pulling her up on her feet, nearly falling on his ass in the process. after a good deal of giggling and stumbling in the snow, they were both in the car, cillian behind the wheel and claudia in the passenger seat. they were really gonna do this. they were gonna steal this car. cillian admittedly felt a bit anxious, but he was drunk enough that he was also feeling invincible. he could definitely do this. how hard could it be. he tightened his hands around the wheel and took a breath before turning the key and starting the car. he smirked over at claudia in the passenger seat, wiggling his eyebrows for good measure. “you fuckin ready for this?”

Claudia.

Even on her ass, Claudia still had an attitude. “Fuck you!” She exclaimed, giving him two middle fingers. She couldn’t help but through her head back as she laughed along with him though. Because this was hilarious. She didn’t know how much of this she would remember in the morning, but she was happy right now. Or at least she was happy being miserable with Cillian for now. That was what they did after all. Claudia huffed as Cillian pulled her to her feet, jumping slightly as she hiked up her black jeans. She couldn’t believe they were about to stealing this fucking car. She put her seatbelt on. Why? She wasn’t sure. She was stealing a fucking car, so the fact that she was making a semi responsible choice was beside her. Anyway. She looked over at Cillian and nodded, giving him a kiss on the cheek for good luck. Guess they did that now? “Ready.” She slurred, bracing herself for whatever the hell was about to happen.

Cillian

cillian felt really good. like he could do absolutely anything. suddenly his problems were behind him, he couldn’t even remember what they were. all he knew was that claudia was beside him, encouraging him, and they were about to steal this fucking car. what was that line from that movie? the one with boat? “i’m king on the world!” cillian shouted, throwing the car into drive and speeding forward, skidding slightly as he did so. he hadn’t taken into account how slick the street would be with the snow, or how dark it was, or how he really had no idea what he was doing. he didn’t see the concrete road divider up ahead in time. “shit,” he breathed, eyes widening as he swerved to the right to miss it. but it was too late and the driver’s side collided with the road block. the car spun out to the right before coming to a stop. it felt like everything was moving in slow motion and yet it was over in an instant. between the adrenaline, shock, and alcohol in his system, cillian didn’t feel any pain immediately. he struggled to breathe at first, the airbag having deployed, knocking the air out of him. his first instinct was to look to claudia, though he couldn’t speak right away, forcing out a cough instead, trying to collect himself. shit shit shit. “claudia?” he sputtered out eventually, reaching for her. “you okay?”

Claudia.

There was a brief few moments in which Claudia felt completely invincible. Theses were the types of moments that she lived for. The moments that actually made her feel something besides complete numbness or utter despair. Right now she felt like she was flying. Most literally too. She felt her face hit the airbag with a force that was painful in and off itself, but when the force made her head jerk back and hit the back of the seat. Now that hurt. Fuck. The car was spinning out control and Claudia felt everything stop. She took a moment, the initial shock of it all making her freeze. She couldn’t feel anything. Not yet. Which surprised her. But she was fucked up and in shock. Absolute shock. She took a sharp breath in, remembering that she needed to breathe. “C?” She choked out, weakly turning her head to face the male. Her eyes widened and her heart stopped. He was fucked up. She checked herself. She was...okay compared to Cillian. “Cil. Oh my god! You’re bleeding.” She cried out in an absolute panic as she pointed to his leg. What could they do? They needed to get the fuck out of here. They couldn’t wait for help to arrive or else they’d both go to jail. Think, Claudia. Think. Jude? No he’d kill them. Where were they? Ellie maybe! She practically fell out of the smoking car and hobbled over to the driver’s side. “Get out. I’m calling Ellie.” She commanded weakly.

Cillian

cillian was fucked up. it hadn’t quite registered yet. he was more concerned with claudia for the moment, choking out a relieved sort of wheeze when she responded to him. thank fuck, he thought, his head lolling back so that he was faced with the airbag now which was starting to deflate. the pain he felt first was his face, surprisingly enough. he tasted blood and thought that maybe his nose was bleeding. he wasn’t sure. he touched his face absently and winced. he’d definitely have a pretty bad bruise. he didn’t think to look down until claudia mentioned his leg, and though the pain still wasn’t registering, his eyes widened and he felt nauseous at the sight of it. it felt unreal. like this wasn’t happening to him but to someone else. an out of body experience. “holy shit holy shit holy shit,” he swore repeatedly under his breath. sure enough, there was blood and panic began to set in as he realized what that probably meant. claudia was at his side suddenly, urging him to get out of the car. cillian knew they had to get out of there and fast. they’d been committing a crime. literal grand theft auto. they couldn’t be anywhere near the car if they wanted to get away with this. cillian’s brain somehow seemed to be one step ahead of the rest of his body. he couldn’t move. “i can’t— fuck, claudia i can’t fucking move, i think i— fuck, i think it’s broken,” he rasped. they had to get out of there and he didn’t trust that claudia could carry him anywhere in her present condition. he was disoriented as fuck and a little dizzy, either from the shock or the blood loss. cillian didn’t know shit about first aid. when claudia mentioned ellie’s name he nodded urgently. “yeah, fuck, call ellie.” he looked around, paranoid that someone would be coming to check on them at any moment. cillian reached for claudia, his heart in his throat as he continued to have to remind himself to breath. “help me.”

#discord #cillian #tw: car accident #tw: blood #tw: substance abuse

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secretradiobrooklyn · 3 years

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Two Lions In Love Edition | 6.19 & 6.26.21

Secret Radio | 6.19 & 6.26.21 | Hear it here.

6/19: Juneteenth “Two Lions in Love Edition”

“Tropical use only” — drug salesperson

1. Daddy Don’t - “Bottom Side of Texas”

One of our favorite spots to play in the whole country is the Pilot Light in Knoxville — it’s not just the club, but the neighborhood and really the whole drive into town, digging into the Tennessee mountains. There’s a little St. Louis in its bricks and pathways too. One evening brought us a night with Daddy Don’t, which was a gal on guitar singing songs about the gal on drums, plus a guy onstage strictly to blow bubbles. They seemed so shy and so completely cool. Their set was hilarious and touching and maybe a little stumbly and thoroughly charismatic. I felt an overlap with Birdcloud and Schwervon and ‘90s Olympia but also definitely their own thing. I hope they’re doing cool stuff these days too.

2. Ennio Morricone - “Guerra e Pace Pollo e Brace” - “Grazie Zie” soundtrack

The great music find from the wedding of Josh and Ashleigh. We spent some time recently remembering what a fantastic time that was…

3. Panjabi MC - “Mundian to Bach Ke”

…because we all met up in Chicago this month to celebrate the marriage of Ren and Kiera! It was in the Morton Arboretum, bringing together both American and Indian families in one grand event. The music throughout the evening was lovely, from the ceremony (Josh on solo guitar) through the early events and the meal. Once the dance floor was opened, however, a whole new flavor dropped: the DJ rocked between Nelly and Indian dancefloor music, then over to Michael Jackson, then into Panjabi MC and on and on. We danced our faces off!

- “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” karaoke version with special guest star!

4. Sparks - “The Number One Song in Heaven”

“Gabriel plays it and God how he plays it!” I know everybody’s gonna be talking about Sparks soon because of the doc that just dropped, and it’ll be both from people who know everything about Sparks and from people who are brand-new zealots. Bring it on — I’m so looking forward to learning more about these guys… especially because, in just over a month, on August 6, there’s going to be a whole other film dropping that we’ve been looking forward to for years. It’s called “Annette,” and it’s directed by Carax, who did “Holy Motors” and “Lovers on the Bridge” — it’s his first movie in English and his first musical. But check this: Sparks wrote all the music! The cast includes Adam Driver, Marion Cotillard, Angèle AND Russell Mael … I mean, we couldn’t be any more excited for this film. It’s entirely possible that it won’t work at all, but it’s also entirely possible that it turns out to be the combined efforts of some of the most interesting artists working today.

5. T.P. Orchestre Poly-Rythmo de Cotonou - “Noude Ma Gnin Tche De Me”

We met up with Theo Welling recently just off Atlantic Avenue at a place with a questionable name and a brothel theme but a pretty epic back patio. Not only were there chandeliers and a disco ball hanging from the broad branches of the tree overhead, but the music was DEAD ON our tastes. When this song came on, it was like: they got us. There was some Francis Bebey a little later on, I mean it was the very stuff. And the thing is, this song totally rocked that patio. Because T.P. rules.

This is from Analog Africa’s crucial T.P. collection, “Echos Hypnotiques.”

6. Elsa - “Ecoutez”

The energy in French records from the ‘60s is crackling hard — this one

We picked up this record at Dave’s Records when we were in town for Ren and Keira’s wedding. It happened to be Record Store Day as well, so we went to Dave’s Records, an old favorite with a “CDs — Never Had Em, Never Will” sign in the window. “They powered through CDs,” says Paige. That sign is this relic of them living through the ‘90s and ‘00s, really.”

7. Velvet Underground - “White Light/White Heat”

Theo was wearing a Lou Reed Transformer shirt that night and we spent some time talking about this crazy band. I feel like this track is the ultimate experience of VU where they find the most ragged frayed edge of pop music to ride and they spend the whole song there, until the end when they jump on the song like leopards on an antelope and start attacking it. But the song resists, takes off running, and actually gets quite a long ways before it is finally taken down. The ending sounds like a brutal act of nature.

8. Sroeng Sari - “Kuen Kuen Lueng Lueng”

It took me a while to stop and actually listen to this song — the opening riff is kind of blinding. You stare into that riff and think that you’re gonna have to deal with a whole version of “Iron Man,” but on the other side of the riff lies a fascinating new riff and completely independent verse shape. (I have no idea if the lyrics relate to the concept of “Iron Man.”) In fact, it turns out the riff is practically only used like a sample within the structure of the song, and it’s mainly not Iron Man at all.

9. [REDACTED] Keep an eye out for the Extended Drunk Scarface Cut Edition.

[9. Paige Brubeck as Scarface & Tony S. in - “Favorite Gangster Friend” feat. Chumbawumba]

10. Midnight Oil - “The Power and the Passion”

Paige was a little too late for Midnight Oil, but she’s extremely receptive to an ideologically, ecologically driven band. “If I had heard that band when I was listening to ska music, I would have fuggin loved this band. I think I would have listened to this band a lot. The part of me that likes Reel Big Fish and the Pietasters… it’s very punk and then when the horns come in it’s like, Oh yeah I love this stuff.”

For me: I love the drum solo. It’s such an interesting full-length exploration of a few different ideas, and it helps point out the ways that the percussion operates in Midnight Oil songs. The overdubbed variations on the singer’s voice reminds me of techniques we used in Bound Stems. I really like that way of recording multiple emotions within a single line and just kind of smashing them together for a multi-faceted take on the lyric. I feel like “Jane Says” was the first recording where I noticed that approach. I also love the crescendo structure to the whole song. But to me, this feels like a song that was built to be played live but someone thought should be represented on the album. I think the transitions between the A, B and C parts are weird and unfinished, even though each of the parts is really good.

11. Phuong Dung - “Do Ai”

What a truly incredible voice… and the guitar accompaniment only slowly reveals its depth and litheness through the course of the song.

12. Group Inerane - “Ikabkaban”

This was a lucky discovery. It’s as much a state of mind as a recording of a song. The sound is very live and not ideal, which I do think ultimately makes it more interesting. There’s something about live recordings that can be embarrassing and compromised… or it can feel like lightning in a bottle. I think this one feels special. This sounds to me like desert blues. These are some of the notes on the track itself: “This album by the rebellious Tuareg musicians from Niger is certainly more hypnotic and less ecstatic than the first (which was recorded at a wedding celebration). It should be said that the guitarist Adi Mohamed, who played on the first album, was shot dead in a skirmish between the nomads and junta forces.”

Yow.

13. The Lemon Twigs - “As Long As We’re Together” (video version)

Now I should just say A) this is the video version of the song, and B) that’s the real version of the song as far as I’m concerned. This video is a perfect thing, at least to me. It was directed by Autumn de Wilde, who went on to direct the film “Emma,” which was one of the most enjoyable pieces of art we saw during the pandemic. (She initially got notice as a photographer before going into music videos.) The recording is masterful, with an intentionally pushed back main vocal and all kinds of panned effects both minimal and baroque. These guys were all teens when they wrote and recorded this song with Foxygen’s Jonathan Rado, which only makes it more (annoyingly?) brilliant. Also: this is our candidate for the song likeliest to get stuck in your head.

That video (I love the ending):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQ4nqnVOfMo

- Nisar Bazmi - “Aesi Chal Main”

Pakistani music from a collection labeled “Folk and Pop Instrumentals 1966-1976.” It’s easy to imagine this as a folk song, but the instrumentation is so radically electric that it feels like new information being learned on the spot.

14. Katty Lane - “Ne Fais Pas La Tête”

Another live recording. Actually, that’s probably not true: it’s a recording from a TV of a TV appearance that Katty made, almost certainly lip-synching the vocals. But it sounds better than the album version to us. Katty Lane is going for a cross between Nancy Sinatra and Brigitte Bardot, and it’s really interesting how close she gets but how far away she remains.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T4gWLi5RUw

15. Ezra Furman - “I Lost My Innocence”

Man, the rhythmic arrangement of the opening verse knocks me out. The production on this whole album really, but the minimalist rhythmic clarity that comes from splitting the beat among a variety of instruments is so amazing. As a drummer I just find the pattern-building in this song enviable.

We got to know these songs well during a tour we did with Ezra Furman. The whole band is full of heavy hitters, including Tim Sandusky, the guy who recorded the album and plays a variety of instruments there and live. He’s one of my favorite musical brains, period, and “Transangelic Exodus,” the album this comes from, is one of my favorite pieces of album production, period.

16. Voilaaa - “Pas bon”

These are apparently contemporary people! This album is from 2015. I think Josh pointed us to this one.

17. Francois and the Atlas Mountains - “La Verité”

This a band Paige came across a couple of years ago, at 2222 Jefferson I believe. This chorus is a true tonguetwister and thus irresistable to try to sing along with. The melody is really strong, and check out how the guitar enters the solo!

18. Ata Kak - “Daa Nyinaa”

We had an amazing night in the back patio zone we share with our building. Dexter had a few friends over including a dude named KG who turned out to be super interesting on a variety of subjects. As we were talking about music he brought up Ata Kak, whose “Obaa Sima” we’ve played on here and who we absolutely love. Paige disappeared inside and came back with our tape of this whole album. He fell out, like what are we doing with this thing? I started telling the whole back story of how the album was discovered in a street tent in Ghana by the guy from Awesome Tapes From Africa, and eventually after many adventures actually tracked down Ata Kak, who was surprised to be found and even more surprised to find that the tape Awesome Tapes had found was distorted and ran way faster than originally intended. But then KG started playing that original tempo track, which does indeed sound comPLETely different. I still haven’t been able to find a way to get ahold of that original track. “Daa Nyinaa” is another banger off the same tape. The man just has a really great sense of what makes a hook.

19. Sakuran Zensen - “Taxi Man” 錯乱前戦　タクシーマンのMVです

This was a video that flickered through my feed a couple of years ago, I think thanks to Steve Scariano (not Steve Pick as I claim aloud). I don’t think a single recommendation of Steve Scariano has ever been the wrong answer — the man has impeccable taste. This song has all of the rock and all of the roll PLUS a ladder. It’s a strong song and an even stronger video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNmubstNGFs

20. New York Dolls - “Looking for a Kiss”

As soon as we were in the nasty distortion of Sakuran Zensen it was probably inevitable that we would go looking for the New York Dolls. The live performance of this song is worth the price of admission… and the drummer looks like one of the brothers from The Lemon Twigs!

21. Mina - “La verità”

Sometimes Italian is the only language that will do. It does tend to have its own melodic shapes separate from French. I adore the way she goes for the high notes in the chorus only to get to the climax, which is her dropping down into her lowest register to bitterly and sarcastically deliver the title phrase: “La verità:” “the truth.” I know just enough Italian to catch that her final declaration is “Sono stato io,” or: “It was me.”

22. Pylon - “Cool”

Pylon has been back in the news recently thanks to a big ol’ rerelease at the 40 year mark, and it’s a great way to get more in touch with a band that lies at the source of so much music we love. They are every bit as cool as the song.

23. Dalida - “Aghani Aghani”

Dalida is Egyptian born, in an Italian household, who first gained fame singing in French — or in Italian to French audiences. She ended up singing in 10 languages in all. She is a blockbuster French star with no parallel, though she died young by her own hand. “Aghani Aghani” is an Arabic medley that became a gigantic hit all across the Arab world and has since entered the fabric of the language and culture.

24. Betti-Betti & T.P. Orchestre Poly Rythmo de Cotonou - “Mbala”

We have been falling deeper and deeper for Betti-Betti’s songs. This one has so many of my favorite things that she does — the fantastic melodies that cycle past each other, the expressive horn lines, and the mouth percussion that totally transforms the song for me. We just recently got a different album of hers that we’re also really excited about; that one features an entirely different band in a different style. This one is T.P. though, those consummate collaborators, and this song is an epic joining of forces.

- Mulatu Astatke + Black Jesus Experience - “Mulatu”

25. Nick Drake - “Pink Moon”

Oh that strawberry moon with its red halo.

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