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miserablesme · 3 years

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The Les Miserables Changelog Part 1: Barbican Previews

Hello everyone! I'm starting out a blog which will look at my favorite musical, Les Miserables, and will discuss the various changes it has gone through over time (musically and lyrically). As it turns out, a LOT of edits have been made over the years so this will doubtless be a series with several parts.

This first part may well be the most difficult and will almost certainly be the most incomplete, as previews can be a time of extensive editing and experimentation. At least for the first few weeks or so, it's perfectly possible any one day of previews will be slightly different than any other day. However, I only have access to two audios from the Barbican Theatre previews of Les Miserables, meaning it's likely that lyrical variants exist which I have no way of hearing.

I am aware of the existence of a third audio which is fairly early in the run of previews, as the tape's master has told me that Gavroche's death scene is in its original form (I'll clarify that later). However, that tape has never been traded, and has sadly only been listened to by its master. I am also aware of a video proshot of the Barbican era that exists in the Royal Shakespeare Company library, but currently have no access to it. I plan to inquire about whether I can look at it sometime (though I'm not sure a blog like this is "official" enough to warrant it for research purposes). As such, this comparison only entails the two widely circulated audios from the Barbican run.

Now that we've gotten that cleared up, let's get started!

First, let's look at the opening "Work Song". In the earlier recording I have (let's call it R1), the beginning music (the same tune used, for instance, at the opening of "At the End of the Day" and "One Day More" and for Marius and Cosette's meeting in "The Robbery") stops. Then, a few moments later, the more familiar opening that leads directly into the prologue begins. By the time of the later recording I have (let's call it R2), the scores have been combined so that the first tune directly transitions into the second one.

Meanwhile, in R1 there is a sequence of lines that goes as follows:

I've done no wrong

Sweet Jesus, hear my prayer

Look down, look down

Sweet Jesus doesn't care

I killed a man

He tried to steal my wife

Look down, look down

She wasn't worth your life

I know she'll wait

I know that she'll be true

Look down, look down

She's long forgotten you

Most fans of the musical recognize the middle sequence of lines ("I killed a man" through "She wasn't worth your life") as no longer being lines in the show (for good reason, as we'll get into in a later edition of this blog). However, R2 keeps the lines. Instead, it deletes the third sequence ("I know she'll wait" through "She's long forgotten you"). I have no idea if this lasted only a few performances or made it all the way to the end of the Barbican run, or somewhere in between.

During "On Parole", specifically after Valjean is underpaid for his labor and sings about his frustration, R1 uses a variation of the "Work Song" theme which, to my recollection, is heard nowhere else in the musical. It can be heard here. By R2, it was switched to an in-tune version of the number with a unique opening. The musical retains that version to this day, but in case you can't recall it you can hear it here.

Minus an unintentional line flub in "At the End of the Day" in R2, the two Barbican recordings seem to use the same libretto and score from this point until "The Runaway Cart". At this point, R1 has a rather extensive scene leading up to Valjean saving Fauchelevent, which goes approximately as follows (the dialog is difficult to make out):

(VALJEAN)

Is there anyone here who will rescue the man?

Who will help me to shoulder the weight of the cart?

I will pay any man thirty louis d’or more

I will do it myself if there’s no one who will

We can’t let him die like that down in the street

Can you all watch him die and do nothing at all?

(FAUCHELEVENT)

Don’t approach me, Monsieur Mayor

The cart’s not gonna be holding

Not my poor mother would care if I should die

(TOWNSPEOPLE)

Don't go near him, Monsieur Mayor

There's nothing at all you can do

The old man's a goner for sure

Leave him alone

Most of that dialog is deleted in R2, so that it goes directly from "Who will help me to shoulder the weight of the cart" to "Don't go near him, Monsieur Mayor". I really like the idea of the original version; it seems reasonable that Valjean, having become a more trusted man, would expect the townspeople to help him. It's more meaningful that Valjean is good enough to do what's right when there's more time to establish that no one else is. Having said that, the original version did take quite a while and didn't really contain any relevant information that wasn't in the final version. I think the cut version as heard in R2 is a good compromise and retains the general mood and pacing to make Valjean's ultimate action satisfying (something that can't be said of later cuts, as will be discussed in a future edition of this blog).

Additionally, at the end of the number Javert refers to "the mark upon his skin" in R1 and "the brand upon his skin in R2 (as well as literally every subsequent performance since then to my knowledge). I have no idea if the "mark" line was a minor flub or was actually the original lyric.

"Who Am I?" is an interesting one. The musical content is identical in R1 and R2, but in R1 after his high note, Valjean shouts "You know where to find me!" with emotion so dramatic it sits right on the border between awesome and campy. By contrast, Valjean is totally silent after his high note in R2. Neither version would see its final day just yet, although the latter certainly has become more traditional over time. More on that in future editions.

From this point until "Master of the House" everything is the same between the two recordings. Roger Allam even comes in slightly late in both "Confrontation" scenes (making his line "-jean, at last...")! However, in the opening to "Master of the House" the following lines occur in R1:

(THENARDIER)

My band of soaks, my den of dissolutes

My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts

My sons of whores

Spend their lives in my inn

Homing pigeons flying in

They fly through my doors

And their money's good as yours

(CUSTOMERS)

Ain't got a clue what he put into his stew

Must've scraped it off the street

Hell, what a wine

Châteauneuf de Turpentine

Must've pressed it with his feet

Landlord over here

Where's the bloody man

One more for the road

One more slug of gin

Just one more or my old man is gonna do me in

All of those lines would be scrapped in R2. Personally I prefer this shortened variant than the one that would occur much later. Sure, some fun moments get lost, but nothing that actually adds any substance or characterization to the musical (unlike the later cut, which I'll discuss in a later edition of this blog). Some have speculated that this is simply lost dialog due to a tape flip of degrading, given that future performances would retain those lines. However, there is firsthand confirmation that the cuts were in fact part of the performance. To quote Trevor Nunn on page 87 of 1990's The Complete Book of Les Miserables (a page which elaborates that "the cost of overtime incurred after three hours could be crippling at a time when Les Miserables was still trying to find an audience"):

"Cameron wanted major cuts, which would have reduced its length to two and a half hours. I resisted, refusing to discuss things on those terms... Some of the other proposed cuts - like the removal of the "Master of the House" scene-setting preamble - were tried out in previews and then restored as the scenes would not work without them."

From a historical perspective that quote is invaluable. As will be brought up in a later blog post (notice a pattern today?) the musical would in fact be cut much later to avoid overtime charges. When people like myself have expressed the opinion that these cuts come at the expense of artistic integrity, I've seen others defend them by claiming that the overtime costs never were relevant to Cameron and the gang until Broadway sales began to go down, and that if they were taken into account the musical may well be in its shortened form from the beginning. However, this quote proves that argument to be false. Right from day one, the crew was aware that retaining a >3 hour runtime would come with severe financial costs, but this was deemed a worthy sacrifice in order to tell the story they wanted told. Indeed, it sounds like Cameron Mackintosh was waiting quite some time to enact his infamous cuts! (Cameron Mackintosh valuing profit above art?! Crazy, right??)

But I digress. Going back to the musical, the "Waltz of Treachery" number is mostly the same. However, after Valjean's "It won't take you too long to forget" line, R1 has over a minute of wordless vamping which leads right into the rather awkwardly-placed "Stars" song. By contrast, in R2 this vamping (which is still a minute long, mind you) leads into a humming duet between Little Cosette and Valjean, similar to the duet right before the number. A nice little bookend that makes the scene feel all the more resolved. (Much later this duet reprise would ironically be scrapped again, though!) The remaining segment of R1's vamping now plays after this sequence in R2.

Minus some unintentional missed lines at the beginning of "Stars" in R1, the recordings seem to follow the same libretto right up until "One Day More". Here, R1 uses the following lines:

(EPONINE)

One more day with him not caring

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

Was there ever love so true?

(EPONINE)

What a life I might have known

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

I was born to be with you

However, by R2 this scene is in its current form:

(EPONINE)

One more day with him not caring

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

I was born to be with you

(EPONINE)

What a life I might have known

(MARIUS and COSETTE)

And I swear I will be true

And that closes act one! Going on to the second act, the opening barricade scene has a few changes. First off, following the opening notes, R1 features a rather odd tune bearing resemblance to "Do You Hear the People Sing" (which can be heard here) before transitioning to a more true-to-form instrumental reprise of "Do You Hear the People Sing?" By contrast, R2 goes straight from the opening notes to the true-to-form reprise.

Next, Enjolras proclaims "Have faith in yourself and do not be afraid" in R1, while in R2 he instead states "Every man to his duty and don't be afraid". It's unknown if this was an intentional libretto change or if it simply reflects a flub during R1. A later sequence uses the "Have faith in yourself" line, meaning he may have just sung the wrong line for that particular scene.

Finally, R1 includes the following sequence (at least I think this is how it goes, since the lyrics are a little hard to hear):

(PROUVAIRE)

And the people will fight

(GRANTAIRE)

And join with you

Who gives a speech in the square

Fortunately, R2 uses a much less clunky (though still somewhat so) sequence:

(PROUVAIRE)

And the people will fight

(GRANTAIRE)

And so they might

Some will bark, some will bite

This isn't quite its current form ("dogs" and "fleas" will soon respectively replace the two usages of "some"), but it's pretty darn close.

I've heard that the very first Barbican preview(s?) didn't have a finalized opening to "On My Own". Sadly there is no known audio record of this, so I cannot comment on what exactly it began as. As such, the next major change takes place during Gavroche's death scene. This honestly is probably the biggest of all the changes between the two recordings. R1 uses the following death scene (in the tune of "Look Down" right up until the "So never kick a dog" verse, which is in the tune of "Little People"):

How do you do, my name’s Gavroche

These are my people, here’s my patch

Not much to look at, nothing posh

Nothing that you’d call up to scratch

Some fool, I bet, whose brains are made of fat

Picks up a gun and shoots me down

Nobody told him who he’s shooting at

He doesn’t know who runs this town

Life’s like that

There’s some folk

Missed the joke

That’s three, that’s three

That one has done for me

Too fast, too fast

They’ve got Gavroche at last

So never kick a dog

Because he’s just a pup

You better run for cover when the pup grows...

By contrast, R2 uses a much shorter variant which is set entirely to the tune of "Little People":

And little people know

When little people fight

We may look easy picking but we've got some bite

So never kick a dog

Because he's just a pup

You'd better run for cover when the pup grows up

And we'll fight like twenty armies and we won't give...

This is much closer to its current form, although the last two lines are inverted (we'll get to that in a later edition).

We now fast-forward to "Dog Eats Dog", which while recognizable is very different from the number we know today. The chorus of R1 claims that "It's a dirty great sewer that's crawling with rats", which R2 changes it to "stinking great sewer" instead. I'd definitely say the revised lyric better captures Thenardier's and the sewer's grossness.

Additionally, regarding Marius' ring, Thenardier originally exclaims that he "didn't mean to waste it, that would really be a crime". By R2, the line changes to "wouldn't want to waste it", which I'd say makes a lot more sense.

"Javert's Suicide" has changed a lot. R1 features the following remarks following "Vengeance was his and he gave me back my life":

Damned if I live in this caper of grace

Damned if I live in the debt of Valjean

I'll spit his pity right back in his face

Is this the law or has sanity gone?

(I'm a little unsure as to how accurate the final line is.)

By R2, the lines have been replaced with the current ones:

Damned if I live in the debt of a thief

Damned if I yield at the end of the chase

I am the law and the law is not mocked

I'll spit his pity right back in his face

In R1, the "Where's the new world, now the fighting's done" line is absent, and there is nothing but instrumentals in the segment where it is usually sung. By contrast, it is sung as usual in R2. My guess is that an actress simply forgot her line in R1 and it was always supposed to be there, though I can't say for sure.

The final change occurs at the wedding scene. The singing which opens the number is repeated in R1. By contrast, R2 has it sung once and then done with, as it currently is (and as it should be in my opinion, since the music isn't particularly pretty and contributes nothing to the plot).

Later in the same scene, R1 includes approximately this exchange (again, it's quite hard to make out the exact lyrics):

(THENARDIER)

I was there

Never fear

Even got me this fine souvenir

He was there

Her old dad

*indecipherable* and fleecing this lad

Robbed the dead

That's his way

(MME. THENARDIER)

That's worth five hundred any old day

(MARIUS)

I know this...

By R2, everything between "He was there" and "Any old day" were removed, which makes sense given that they essentially just rehash what was already said.

Finally, there's a subtle difference in the epilogue, specifically during the "Do You Hear the People Sing?" reprise. In R1, the ensemble sings "They will live again in glory in the garden of the Lord". R2 replaces the word "glory" with "freedom", and that word remains the one used to this day. I suppose "freedom" is more appropriate for the context of peace and prosperity. To many, I'd guess that "glory" conjures imagery of knights, battles, and the like; just the kind of violence that the characters wish to move away from! I have no idea if this was why the writers changed the lyric, but it's my hypothesis.

Towards the end of the show, the chorus in R1 sings "Even the darkest moon will end and the sun will rise". By R2, this is changed to "the darkest night". Makes more sense to me, since moons aren't known for being particularly dark!

And that just about sums this part up! If I missed anything feel free to let me know, as my goal is to create a changelog as thorough and complete as possible. I plan on making more parts in the near future covering all the changes that have been made in the show up until this day (discounting concerts). Any feedback and constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

As a side note, both for this project and my own enjoyment, I want as complete a collection of Les Miserables audios as possible. I already have most of what's commonly circulated, but if you have any audios or videos you know are rare, I'd love it if you DMed me!

Until the turntable puts me at the forefront again, good-bye...

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essercipertuttienonperse · 3 years

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this or that?

@allwaswell16 and @cloudslou tagged me to do this, thank you ♡♡♡♡

Put in bold your preferred song (live version), and then tag 3 people to play!

Best Cover: Through the Dark - Drag Me Down - 7 - Beautiful War - Little Black Dress

this is unfair bc I love them allll but I've decided to only consider non1d songs as covers and between 7 and Beautiful War the latter wins for me bc it's so perfect for louis and his voice and also just how he is ! and I could listen to him sing "when I hold the warmth of your body there's nobody I'd rather hold" for the rest of time <3

Best Acoustic Song: Only The Brave - Perfect Now - Too Young

ahh difficult bc too young is one of my favorites but I really love otb and the Moment that it creates during the show<3

Best Rock Song: Kill My Mind - 7 - Fearless

-kmm is up there with my favorite louis songs ever and I love how much he loves it! and it sounds so good live!!! I hope he goes in this direction (ah!) for lt2

Best Sad Song: Two of Us - Beautiful War - Change

-its a beautiful beautiful song and it makes my heart soar every time, and he made it into such a beautiful moment <3

Best "Faith in the Future" Song: We Made It - Just Hold On - Through the Dark - DLIBYH

-dlibyh (but I also love jho and ttd)

Best Crowd Interaction: Always You - Defenceless - Fearless - Through the Dark

-hello why is walls not in the options!!! it's definitely walls for me <3 I love that he knows we love doing the pointing thing 🥺 (I've ruined your moment!) and it's nice that we're turning the meaning of those lines around

Cover/Live Version That Should Get a Studio Version: Beautiful War - Copyx3 - Fearless - Drag Me Down - 7

COPY obviously!!! I think lyrically it's one of the best ones he's ever written and it absolutely deserves to have a studio version and be on the album

Song That Should Make It Out of the Setlist:

very unpopular opinion but I'd change all the covers zkdjkf I mean I love them all but also I think if he's just going to play walls which we've heard live relatively a lot of times already then I'd switch the covers to keep things new and fresh! maybe he could alternate them in different shows or something!! that being said the one Id miss the least is probably 7, I just don't vibe with the song that much!

also I really do love his 1d and BW covers, I think the songs he chose fit him really well and his rearrangements of the 1d songs are the best ones among the 1d guys for me which is why I'd be curious to see what he'd do with other songs!

(nobody asked but my fav 1d cover is probably DMD bc it's so good live and I love how he took the lead vocal and transformed it to fit him and made the song much better <3 )

this was fun! and also made me realize once again how indecisive I am jsjdk

I tag @bluelightsaber @weareonejazzhand @fearlessslive @foreverfanficaddict @clothlog @setsailtomorrow @dependsonwhospitching @aliensyndrome @rosesau @quelsentiment @finelinegf @chrysopon @orrible-orrible-orrible @iqraars

#tag things #have a good Monday everyone!!💖💖💖

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1ddotdhq · 3 years

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🍷Thurs 29 Oct ‘20🚙

Cam’s song Changes (written by Harry along with country singer-songwriter Lori McKenna and producers Kid Harpoon and Tyler Johnson) dropped in some parts of the world this morning, and it is LOVELY! It is a twangy country song about growing up and getting out of your hometown and seeing the world change and you with it. I really think Cam buried the lead when advertising this song, as the best lyric is clearly, “I was falling in love in a back seat, giving it away like my heart won’t ever break. Had such a young heart drinking cheap wine…”. Hmmm...does this sound familiar to anyone? Of course it does! Fans had a great time comparing this song to Fearless and We Made It (and, honestly, yes. I agree). But that is not enough music news for Harry: SiriusXM started releasing videos of Harry’s New York performance in February (whoa a lifetime ago), including Kiwi, Golden, and Lights Up. The performances are, as always, ELECTRIC, and I can’t wait to be able to see them live, eventually.

Zayn is back and he’s posting Better promotion on instagram (the song, not like...he’s doing a better job...oh, you know what I mean). He hasn’t blessed us with any more covers since yesterday, but he’s active, so I think we’ll be hearing more from him very soon….Maybe some of those songs he registered last month? Please???

All I want for Christmas is...for Liam to branch out and add Tech Expert to his resume alongside ‘YouTuber’ and ‘Tik Tok sensation’? Well, maybe that’s a hyperspecific demand, but it seems like I’m in luck! Liam will be joining the speaker line up of Web Summit 2020, which is a program which “brings together the people and companies redefining the global tech industry”. Liam *is* a recording tech expert, but that’s probably not what they tapped him - this is likely to do with the way he is putting on consistent and quality virtual concerts in a way that has massively transformed the potential for fan engagement in socially distant times. Congrats, Liam, because you’ve worked really hard! And he’s not done working! Liam took to instagram to call fans “detectives” for figuring out that his Christmas collaboration was Dixie D’Amelio, and promising “fun” leading up to the Holidays with “Dixie and her family” (uh, do you think that her parents are gonna be involved or just her super successful 16 year old Tik Tokker sister Charlie?). Anyways, as much as I would LOVE to say that we are indeed detectives (because we are!) , the credit for letting the cat out of the bag this time goes to Dixie herself, who posted a Tik Tok of her singing the song. This, on top of the speculation that already existed, was all the confirmation we needed to know what was happening. Liam also filmed a few episodes of a podcast Happy Hour with veteran YouTuber JaackMaate on his show, where he and his friends chat with people about their jobs and their lives in a relaxed way. And! If you bought tickets to LP Act 3, check your inbox - Liam has sent information on how to access the concert, and also some pre-emptive tech support links. I don’t know if that’s a good sign or a bad one.

Niall was, again, very busy with promo, appearing on Live with Ryan Secrest and hitting all of the Royal Albert Hall talking points we’ve been hearing, but he also took the time to interact with fans on Twitter! He tells us that he’s not going to be doing anything for Halloween (“can’t go anywhere in big groups”), that he loves Bruce Springsteen, and that he’ll do a live striptease if “Slow Hands” passes a billion streams by next week. Look, I know I keep saying this, but, uh #PLEASEdontstripitdownNiall. BUT! Do show us more of your skincare routine, which is what he did on insta: he posted a pic of himself in a facemask saying, “You’ll all be saying after RAH, ‘Niall you were glowing!’ and I’ll say… ‘I know’”.

And, Louis showed us how quickly he works when he has a goal in mind: after the unfortunate matter of merch shipping only to certain regions of the world yesterday, Backstreet Merch (the company in charge of his stuff) quickly took to twitter to say that, “We will be expanding our shipping zones to all of South America and India...within the next 48 hours.” And that’s exactly what happened! Not only that, Central America and Singapore are also on the list (catch ALL OF MY FAMILY rocking their Walls merch), although Mexico is not, and Backstreet Merch has said they have no current plans to ship to Mexico, which, hmmm. But look, I just gotta say that in 48 hours, Louis listened to his fans who have supported him (he sold out TWO stadiums in Argentina!) and quickly made his merch more accessible. Honestly, I love this man. And those countries certainly deserve it – can your country say Walls was its best selling album last week? Argentina can! Both Harry albums and Heartbreak Weather were also in the top ten.

However, I may have said good riddance to Celebtm too soon ( :{( ). TMZ has picked up their second mess of an article and is now distributing that. On top of this, Michael Straus has contacted both Judge Judy and the People’s Court to see if they can get some cable airtime and settle the small claim on TV - which, to be clear, Briana has to agree to, but it seems likely. Celebtm (despite saying yesterday they weren’t going to report on this until January when the court case happened, okaaaay) made a statement telling Briana to take the TV offers seriously so that Louis’ “child support” (quotes theirs, not mine) wouldn’t go to her legal fees. They went on to say, “We only see #onedirection here. To #EndIt on television and win your freedom to love ❤️ again with the next victim. Thank you #1DFamily for supporting #louistomlinson during these chaotic #1D times”. We DO support Louis, which is more than I can say for celebtm. It might bring a little thrill to see a media outlet proclaiming End It, but is it a good thing for Louis? No. This is happening because of the response they're getting and unless someone makes them (mark this down cause you won't see me saying this usually but omg LTHQ will you please get in here and shut this talk down?) they won't stop with this nonsense (see: yesterday's Larry Stylinson article) until the fans stop cheering them on. Speaking of nonsense on Instagram, Lou the golden retriever, the influencer dog fans headcanon-ed was the one HSHQ posted, decided he wanted a piece of the pie and has joined the swollen ranks of accounts falsely claiming a connection to Harry. There are many, including deuxmoi who post an endless stream of made up stories, but also the occasional credible sounding fan report such as yesterday's of Harry at a gym in the UK, and, um, WOW! It’s one of those fitness classes where you alternate your running pace to accelerate your heart rate, and the fan account claimed that Harry’s base pace (that is, comfortable running pace) is 10 mph, which is a 6 minute mile, or a 5k in 18 minutes. Uh, WHAT?? Guys, that’s it: I’m officially a stan, I love this man, and I want to go on a run with him.

#harry #zayn #niall #louis #okay a few things #i cannot tell you how much i dislike writing about the celebtm thing #i mean sometimes we have some really fun upbeat days (like today or Monday!)#then in comes celebtm and here we go again with this #like no <3 #i dont like it #and i want so many good things for Louis and this just seems to get messier and messier #and i want to reiterate that i dont want my posts reposted to instagram in particular right not #*now #we work hard on these but its for yall and for us not for some shitty gossip site #and they have proven to be really shitty #and yeah were asking for LTHQ to do something like PLEASE shut this convo down #also massive shout out to discourse without whom todays post would not have gone up #because i would have binned it the moment celebtm reopened their mouths #i love her lots #*her = discourse #and our blog titles match now !!! yay!!!#anyways!#song of the day!#Changes by Cam #because OF COURSE!!!!!

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hlupdate · 3 years

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Louis Tomlinson started the year releasing his debut album Walls and ended it with one of the best selling live streams of 2020, Louis Tomlinson Live from London.

Louis Tomlinson Live from London became promoter Veeps biggest selling show of the year. Louis’s fans crashed the website with their furious desire to see him live. For many fans, this would be the first time they would have the chance to do so. As we write this, Louis’s live stream has so far made in access of a $1 million for some very worthwhile organisations and causes and his own touring crew.

He has also released merch to mark the very special live stream. Again 100% of the profits went to his own tour crew and the organisations detailed above.

Louis Tomlinson Live from London was the first time fans got to hear his album Walls in its entirety, live. He didn’t disappoint. The setlist was fantastic. Walls tracks, with a sprinkling of some One Direction classics, a cover and a brand new song. He gave those watching a complete show.

Opening with Just Hold On, his first solo single which was a collaboration with Steve Aoki.He made it pure Louis and gave it a rocky edge. It was a strong and purposeful opening that set the tone for the rest of his jam-packed set. Next came We Made It, the first track to be taken off Walls and one that’s really special to witness Louis singing live, as he truly has made it!

It was swiftly followed by Don’t Let It Break Your Heart, an uplifting and heartfelt track. Then came the first of three nods to Louis’s time in One Direction. Drag Me Down was the first track to be released by the band after Zayn Malik left and was from their fifth studio album Made in the AM, which was One Direction’s final album before they went on a nice long break. Louis’s take on the track breathed new life into the classic, fans waited with bated breath to see if we would the infamous high notes in the original or if he’d have changed the arrangement. He did the high notes and smashed them.

Smashing it was something Louis did throughout the set, his voice has improved hugely as solo artist, it makes us quite sad to think that while in the band, his voice was often looked over when it’s so powerful and unique and some of his 1D bandmates have often commented they find Louis parts the hardest to sing when they cover the bands songs because of his vast vocal range. A range that was sadly not utilised to it’s full potential within the band. But now as a solo artist his voice is the best we’ve ever heard it.

After a quick and extremely clever interlude where Louis changed sets, he sang Two of Us accompanied by a string quartet. Two of Us is usually a highly emotive song anyway, but backed by a string quartet and Louis’s vocals which just ooze emotion, it hit harder and was an extremely powerful moment.

Habit and Too Young came next, both firm fan favourites. Then there was another stunning interlude by the string quartet before Louis sang Perfect Now and another 1D classic Through The Dark from the band’s third album Midnight Memories. He then followed up withFearless.

New song Copy of A Copy of A Copy came next, Louis has been open that while he’s not been able to tour this year as planned because of covid he’s begun working on his second album. While we know the album is in very early stages, if Copy of A Copy of A Copy is any indication of the lyrical style and sound he’s playing around with at the moment for the album, we know it will be a huge hit. The song is one which like many of his songs holds universal appeal as it’s personable but wholly relatable to the listener.

Defenceless was next followed by a cover of Kings of Leon’s Beautiful War, a song which suited Louis’s voice perfectly and makes us yearn for him to write and/or collab with the group in the future.

The final 1D nod came in the form of Little Black Dress, a song which has become a firm staple in Louis setlist and one that always goes down well.

Title track Walls provided us with a moment to reflect on what Louis and his team have achieved with the Louis Tomlinson Live from London Livestream. Uniting fans and giving them the opportunity to experience a full Louis Tomlinson gig from the comfort and safety of their homes. To raising funds for the live event and touring professionals who make shows like this possible.

Only The Brave was such a special moment that made us quite emotional as it’s a track that resonates with so many and one that always hits hard because of raw emotion Louis exudes in his vocal delivery of the track.

Louis ended his set with Kill My Mind a firm fan favourite, that I know we love singing along to and is such a fun and energetic track and always a welcome addition to his setlist.

Louis Tomlinson Live from London was a proper gig, fans were given the full Louis Tomlinson experience. From his band which features Michael Blackwell on guitars and backing vocals, Steve Durham on the drums (he is also the musical director for Louis and his band), Matt Dinnadge on the bass, Isaac Anderson on guitar and backing vocals and Zak Craner on the keys.

To the string quartet, the film crew which included Charlie Lightening who directed and conceptualised the show, Dan Lightening, Director of Photography, Joshua Hailing, photographer. And the crew which included Mark Brightman, Dan Ein, Krupa and Steve Weall and many other talented live music and touring professionals, all helped to make the show possible. Highlighting just why we need to support those who work in the industry so we can all when it’s safe to do so, see our faves live.

Louis Tomlinson Live from London was not only a pinnacle moment in Louis career where he performed Walls live in its entirety for the first time and showed himself as not just the guy from ‘that one band’, but a seasoned performer who knows how to put on a show that lets the music do the talking. He gave many fans the once in a lifetime chance to see their fave sing in a full gig with staging, set design and lighting, it truly brought home just how important tour and live event crew is in your faves being able to tour the world. For your fave to get on stage they need a small army of people all contributing to get there. The live stream showed exactly that. Music brings people together and connects us all. We need live music and we need the people who help to make it happen.

To Louis, his band, the tour and film crews, the team at Veeps and Louis’s own personal team…. everyone who helped contribute to the show in any way. Thank you. Thank you for giving fans an experience they will treasure and never forget and reminding us all the importance of seeing music performed live.

#louis tomlinson #articles #lt livestream #131220

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ourplaceinthecosmosphff · 3 years

Text

Chapter 25: Timing

‘my soul chose yours and a soul doesn't just forget that’ - b. m.

Lourdes showed up right then. We stepped away from each other, startled, struggling to look like we weren’t caught doing something wrong.

Lourdes didn’t seem to notice.

“There you are!”‌‌ She smiled. “Finally made it out?”

I‌ looked down, shyly.‌ “Yes. I‌ was just about to go back in.”

“What? Why? Let’s get out of here before someone comes to find you to do more work.”

I‌ smiled.‌ “Lou, I‌ have to work.”

She rolled her eyes, and looked at Harry. “This used to be our favorite holiday. We don’t live here, but the Palace is full of little secret places. We should take Harry on a tour.”

“I’d love that.” He said. “Palaces are fun when I don’t have to live in them.”

Lourdes laughed.‌ “Where should we start?”

“Again, I–I have to work.”

Lourdes gave me an exasperated look. “Stop, the day is basically over.”

“You know there’s a black tie dinner tonight, right?”

She sighed. “Tonight! Hours away! Besides, if they really need you, they’ll come find you.”

“I don’t know…”

“Harry, some help?”‌ She grinned at him. “You want Maggie to come, right?”

He looked at me, and sighed, longingly. “Always.”

There was no going back after that.

I ‌grabbed my shoes and ran towards the opposite end of the hallway, away from the reception hall.

“Fine, but let’s run before someone catches us.”

We took the staff’s passageways to avoid being seen while we made our way. Unlike the rest of the Palace, they were mostly all old cement and industrial lights, with wooden or backsplash floors that needed fixing. Places that weren’t seen by the people who ‘mattered’, only used by servants to stay out of the family’s way or make their way faster through the palace.

The spiral, stone steps were steep upwards to the Clock tower. We climbed it slowly, out of breath from the long walk. The Clock tower wasn’t meant as a place to be visited; as we explained to Harry, though the Clock was now a hugely popular touristic attraction, it was created to be functional, and the tower where it was situated merely a place for maintenance.

Therefore, it was simple. A round room of barely even wooden floorboards and high top ceilings. Clean, but empty. Across from the door we walked through was the clock; it’s lowest end was below the floor we were on, and it’s highest point out of reach even to Harry in all his height.

“I don’t know why but I pictured it a lot smaller.”‌ Harry noted, leaning on the railing separating the room from the clock itself.

Standing by his side, I‌ pointed down to the river below.

“Perfect view.”‌

He smiled.‌‌ “Can they see us?” He asked, reasonably, noticing the public gathering to watch the boat parade and the separate stand for the press.

“Nope.”‌ I‌ told him. “It’s mirrored glass outside.”

“Nice.”‌ He knocked his shoulder on mine, lightly, making inexplicably blush.

“Shall we?”‌, Lourdes asked, kicking off her flats.

“Lourdes, we have a perfectly good view from here.”

She ignored me, instead sneaking below the railing to edge herself forward, holding one of the metal bars securing the clock in place to pull herself up. She quickly climbed the railing and stepped forward.

“What–woah–”‌ Harry stepped back as my sister climbed up onto the clock.

The old clock had several metal structures securing it in place, as well as all the other important and ornamental parts. The pointers, for example, were held together by two metal bars shaped like an X, which had a smaller circle inside connected to the engines. The X and the circle, my siblings and I had found as children, formed an almost perfect climbing hole.

“Come on!”‌‌ Lourdes called, impatient.‌ “What are you guys waiting for?”

“Is that… allowed?”‌ Harry asked, almost whispery.

I‌ gave him a cheeky grin. “Are you really afraid of breaking the rules? You, of all people?”

“Fair. But, you know, I’m a guest here.‌‌ I‌ already kidnapped their princesses, I‌ don’t want to give your family more reason to hate me.”

“Are you chickening out?!”‌, Lourdes called, already climbing into the top part of the circle.

“We’re fine here.”‌ I‌ told her, who then made chicken sounds at us.

“I‌ expected that from Harry, British and all, but you’re Savoyen, Maggie. You’re made of stronger stuff!”

“Lou–”

“Okay, that’s it.” Harry said, peeling off his coat and suit jacket, starting to fold his long sleeves past his elbows.

“I–”‌‌‌ I‌ stuttered, remembering to look away from his arms, “You–you don’t have to, you’ll get dirty from the dust.”

Lourdes made chicken noises again.

Harry sighed.‌ “You understand.”

Before I could say no, he threw one over the railing, where he sat and pulled himself up, standing on top of it, starting to look around at the metal bars to try and figure out where he should go next.

“Lourdes, if he falls, I’ll tell Papa it’s your fault.”

She shrugged. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

Harry laughed, loosened his tie, and climbed up.

“Are you coming?”‌ He asked, looking at me, a joyful smile in his lips.

“She can’t…”‌ Lourdes mocked, in a sing-song voice, “She’ll be queen one day!‌ What will the church say?!”

“I am wearing a dress,‌ Lourdes-Abigail!” I‌ complained, as Harry laughed, amused.

“You do every year, yet I‌ can’t help but notice this is the only year you seem to be struggling with that.”

I ‌sighed, knowing I couldn’t tell her it wasn’t about my title, but about not wanting Harry to see me losing all composure in order to climb into a clock like a child.

But… Harry was there, too. And it was very fun. So I‌ undid my belt and removed my overcoat, placing it along Harry’s in the railing, to the side, leaving my shoes near it, too. Now wearing my short-sleeved, simple black dress, I sat on the railings facing the door and turned to the clock, one leg at a time, trying to maintain some sort of etiquette.

The hard part came with getting to my feet, for which I‌ had to raise one leg first. If I did it on the other side, I wouldn’t have the metal bars to pull myself up; if I‌ did it on this side, I would essentially showcase my underwear. This wasn’t a problem I‌ had had when it was just my siblings with me.

Harry was watching me, uncertain, trying to figure out a way to help.

I‌ sighed. “Would you look away, please?”

“What?”

I sighed, blushing. “I am wearing a dress.”‌

“Oh.”‌ It was now his turn to blush slightly, turning to face the river. “‌Of course.”

I‌ pulled myself up swiftly, only almost slipping in the railings because of my stockings.‌ Then, I‌ took the small step into the bottom part of the metal circle, where, inexplicably, Harry still was. Because it was a circle, and I was wearing stockings, though I had tried to step to the side of him, as to keep my distance, I slid slightly and almost fell, but Harry was quick to wrap his arms around me.

“Oops, there you go.”‌ He said, as we chuckled, as if his arms around me didn’t send shivers through my whole body.

“You need to keep climbing, we can’t both stay here.”‌ I‌ said, enjoying the proximity more than I should.

“Okay, but I don’t know how!” He explained, exasperated.

“There, that side. Use the bar to pull yourself up and hoister your body into the next arm of the X.”‌ I explained as he loosed his hold on me to turn around and do as I said, but as he was wearing socks, he, too, slid back into place. Now it was my arms around his muscled back.

We laughed.

“I’ll just stay here.” He said.

“At what age should I‌ expect to become so completely physically useless?”‌ Lourdes complained from above us.

“Good God, she’s brutal.” Harry whispered, with an amused laugh.

“It’s the teenage hormones.” I‌ explained, smiling. “She’ll grow out of it.”

“I‌ heard that.”‌‌ Lourdes said. “And just because you said it, I’ll make it a point to become even worse as I‌ grow up.”

“Why don’t you help?”‌ I asked her, laughing; “We can’t all be junior athletes.”

Sighing, she leaned down and offered Harry a hand. “Come on, I’ll pull you up, but you have to use your legs.”‌‌ She said. “And it’s ex-athlete.”

Harry held her hand and took an impulse to hoister himself up to the next section of the X.

After he had settled in place, he heaved a long sigh, and asked: “Why ex?”

“I haven’t skated since last year.”‌ She explained.

“You can always go back.”

“It’s not how it works… You don’t recover that much time away… besides, my trainer’s contract is about to run out. When it does, he’ll move on and train someone else.”

After I‌ had climbed up into the opposite section to Harry, I‌ looked at him. We shared a look of worry over this, but, much like me, he also seemed lost as to what to do.

“Oh, it’s starting!”‌ Lourdes exclaimed.

We followed her finger to see a large vessel of the Navy making its way down across the river. On top of it, soldiers lined up perfectly, saluting.

Ship after ship, bigger, smaller, weirdly shaped, with cannons, old and new, made their way through the river, some shooting empty cannon balls up to the sky to the cheering crowds. Some holding bands in perfect formation playing our national anthem.

“So,” I started, after we’d been in silence for a while, “how much better is our Clock to your London Eye?”

Harry grinned. “I will not dignify that question.”

“Because you know it’s so much better?” Lourdes asked.

“Because the answer should be obvious.” He replied, amused.

“Because you know it’s so much better.” She affirmed, confident.

“No!” He protested, making us laugh.

Another ship went by, this one releasing a show of fireworks. We stayed silent, listening to the thunderous sound.

“Louis found this place.” Lourdes said. “Do you remember, Maggie?”

I smiled at the river. “Oui… A lifetime ago.”

After the last ship had passed by to the sound of excited applause by the cheering crowds, we all released tired sighs almost at the same time, and remained silent for a minute just appreciating the movement of the people below.

“They’ll be looking for us.” Harry said, eventually.

“Yeah.” I agreed.

No one moved.

“You should come back.” Lourdes said, to Harry. “Some time when there’s no big event, just to visit. That way we have more time to show you around. And you should come to Callois, or Haydell! Those are the best Palaces.”

He was smiling at her. “Well, I’d be happy to come back. It sounds fun. It… it might be hard to justify it without a proper reason.”

“Can’t the reason be you were invited?”

He looked pensive. “I… I guess it can?”

“Well, then you’re invited. Isn’t he, Maggie?”

They looked at me. I felt a knot of… not anxiety, something lighter in my stomach.

I smiled at Harry. “I… We’d love to have you.”

He smiled, softly, at that.

Lourdes looked back down at the river, listing all the things in Callois and Haydell she wanted to show Harry, but his eyes didn’t leave mine. They were full of yearning and heavy with the weight of all that wasn’t being said – it was hard to look away. It made me want to cry.

“Hello?!”

I shook my head, looking at my sister. “What?”

She sighed, annoyed. “I asked… how much money do you have on you right now, Harry?”

He seemed confused, as I’m sure I did. “Uh. I don’t know?”

“Will you give me all of it if I can hop off from up here without using my hands or arms at all?”

“Lourdes-Abigail…” I started.

“Mind your business, Maggie.” She interrupted. “You’re not allowed an opinion as you have insider knowledge on this matter.”

I sighed. Harry just seemed even more confused.

“No hands or arms?” He asked.

“Surely, you’re not considering this.”

“How much money?” She asked again.

Grinning now, he picked his wallet from his back pocket and went through it.

“Uhm… sixty pounds.”

“Not euros? Ugh, fine. It’ll do. Do we have a deal?”

“Well, I’m very intrigued, so yes.”

Perched up on the upper arch of the metal circle, Lourdes turned to the side and started to slide down, arms crossed in her chest. When she reached the first arm of the X, she used the metal connection to the wall to slide around it, and sit again on the circle on the other side. From there, she pressed her feet against the wall using it to keep her steady against the metal of the circle as she slid down, the circle now to her back, quickly reaching the lower leg of the X. From there, she was able to take a bit step onto the railing and jump down to the ground, turning around to us and throwing her arms in the air, to then slowly curtsey in victory.

Harry and I chuckled, amused. Harry slow clapped. He leaned down and handed her the money.

“Well earned.”

“Thank you.” She took another curtsey, smug.

“What was that, the ballet, gymnastics, or the skating training?”

She shrugged, counting the money. “All of it combined, I guess.”

“Impressive.” Harry said, giving me a quick look before going on. “Why are you quitting, again? That much talent shouldn’t go to waste.”

She sighed. “I just… I don’t know, I don’t like it as much anymore.”

“You haven’t skated since last year, you said so yourself.” I reminded her. “Maybe you just don’t remember how much you like it.”

“Whatever, it’s done.” She shrugged. “Ivan’s contract is about to expire anyway.”

“Hey, Mary.” Harry called. For a moment, my heart skipped a beat to him using the old ‘nickname’.

“Yes?”

“Didn’t you say you always wanted to get proper skating lessons?”

I stared at him, confused.

“I… did?” I said, trying to pass the question as an answer. Lourdes was looking at me, brows raised.

“You did?” She asked. “You hate ice skating.”

“No, I don’t.” I dismissed. “I just… I don’t love it, because I’m not great at it. But, maybe if I had lessons…”

Lourdes scoffed, mocking, but looked away to put her money in her pocket.

I exchanged a quick look with Harry, who shrugged, nodding excitedly. It wasn’t a… bad plan. It was just an unusual one. But, maybe it was time for desperate measures.

We heard steps on the stairs, and all looked at the door, expectantly, as if being caught mid-mischief which, in a way, we had been.

From it emerged Auguste, breathless.

“Ma’am.” He sighed. “The–the King–he… he needs you to–”, he paused, wheezing. “Guests are leaving.”

“Oh, right.” I nodded. “We have to say goodbye?”

He nodded. “And Princess Maryanne was looking for you, ma’am.” He added to Lourdes.

“Oh, thanks.” She said, before looking at us. “I’ll go see her. See you downstairs?”

“Sure.” She left. I looked at Auguste. “Okay, I’ll be right down, Auguste. Merci.”

He nodded again, breathless, looking at Harry.

“I’ll wait for you, ma’am.”

“No need.” I assured him. “I’ll meet you back at the reception hall.”

He nodded one more time, and bowed, before leaving.

We waited until the sound of his footsteps on the stairs had faded. Then I tentatively looked at Harry, already saddened at having to leave. He was looking around at the room.

“This is a cool place.” He said.

“It is, I like it, too.”

We continued to just hang from the clock, seemingly trying to forget about the obligations knocking at our doors.

“We should–” I started, and he cleared his throat, nodding.

Carefully, we made our way down from the clock. Harry first, then me. He offered his hand to help me down from the railing, which I took. It didn’t stop me from slipping in my stockings again, though, and he had to step quickly closer to catch me in his arms just in time.

The problem was, now his arms were tight around me, our bodies glued together, my feet barely touching the floor. His warmth and mine were one, his breath and mine were one, and nothing else in the world existed.

“I miss you.” He said, suddenly. So suddenly I looked at him for a long time, speechless, convincing myself I hadn’t imagined it. But he was looking beyond me, awkwardly.

I didn’t know how to respond, at least not while his arms were keeping my standing, at least not while my insides felt like they were burning.

“I wanted to text you.” I confessed, softly. “But I guess I felt… guilty.”

I watched his eyes slowly reach mine again, hovering every inch of my face on their way.

“I guess I still do.” I said.

He nodded, slowly. “So you… you regret it? The… kiss?”

“No.” I shook my head, quickly. “Not one bit.”

We smiled, and I felt as thought my skin was burning.

“You?” I asked.

Slowly, he touched his forehead to mine. “Impossible.”

An infinity later, or maybe half a second, just as the distance between us was growing smaller, the door opened again.

We were so startled I must have jumped three steps back. I don’t know how much she saw, but something told me there was not a chance that my mother wouldn’t be absolutely livid, regardless.

“Marie-Margueritte.” She called, even-toned, calm to a chilling degree. “You have neglected your work long enough today.”

“I was just going downstairs.” I explained, avoiding her eyes, rushing towards my overcoat and shoes.

“You shouldn’t have left at all.” She added. “You have a duty.”

“It’s my fault, ma’am.” Harry told her. “I told the princesses how beautiful the Palace was and they wanted to show me more of it. They are wonderful hostesses.”

I sighed, knowing that wouldn’t help. I put on my coat quickly, and my shoes, and walked towards my mother, who was still seething looking at Harry, now putting on his blazer.

I could almost see it behind her eyes: the enraging need to tell Harry off for the way he spoke to her in Kensington Palace, and probably also for keeping me away from the reception.

I held her hand. “Shall we go, Maman?”

She sighed. Wordlessly, she turned around and pulled me with her by the hand.

“Keep up, Your Royal Highness, you wouldn’t want to get lost.” She said, without looking back.

It was a long way back downstairs in total and utter silence. My mother didn’t let go of my hand until we were inside the reception hall, and she followed me until I was standing with my father in place to say our goodbye to our guests.

I wanted to find a moment to talk to Harry again, before he had to leave. But there was no moment.

Next thing I knew, he was standing in front of us, saying his formal goodbyes, gently kissing my knuckles, and walking away.

— ---- —

It was hard to fall asleep that night, thinking about him, about his arms around me, about what might have happened if my mother hadn’t arrived until it was already sunny out.

A few hours later, I stumbled down for breakfast only half-awake, glad that I had no work, hoping to get back into bed as fast as possible.

Unfortunately, while my mother and sister discussed her upcoming school commitments, I remembered the plan Harry and I had silently hatched the day before.

“Maman,” I started, “What is going on with Lourdes’ trainer? Is he still available?”

My parents exchanged a look. “Just for a few more weeks, unless your sister changes her mind.”

“I’m not.” Lourdes said.

My father folded his newspaper, and looked at her.

“You know, Mr. Federova has phoned frequently to inquire about you, Lourdes.” He said. “He thinks it would be a tremendous waste to let go of your years of hard work.”

“I said I don’t want to skate.” She repeated, more forcefully.

“Well, anyway.” I interrupted, cheery. “I was thinking, since he’s paid for the season and not working, that I might take some lessons.”

“Lessons?” My mother asked, confused.

“Ice skating lessons.”

Lourdes laughed. My father looked at me, slightly concerned. My mother merely nodded and said, “alright, I’ll call him and let him know to expect you.”

“Are we–?” my father started, clearing his throat, “are we sure that’s a good idea? Margueritte is… well–”

“Well?” I asked.

“A disaster.” Lourdes volunteered.

“Excuse me?”

“I just mean, you have many talents, dear,” my father intervened, “but coordination is, well, not one of the bigger ones.”

“Excus– I’m very! I–” I struggled, livid. “I’m very… sportsy!”

“Wow.” Lourdes sighed, sarcastic.

“Shut up. I’m good with– feet– sports! I can play! I play p–polo and stuff! Tennis!”

She shook her head. “Not to mention your talent for words.”

“Shut up! Mom?!”

Mom was grinning ever so slightly as she drank her tea.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.” My father replied.

“I’ll be fine! You’ll see, I bet I’ll be great at it!”

“Maggie, you can’t be serious…”

I looked at my sister, confidently. “Why do you care? You’re not using him.”

“He’s a former Olympian! He can’t teach you the basics, it’s insulting!”

“I can ice skate, it won’t be the basics!”

“Please.”

“You wanna bet?”

She didn’t. But I kept up the charade, amping up my enthusism more than I actually felt it. Eventually, a few days later, when it was time to leave for my first lesson, Lourdes announced she was coming too.

“Ivan is a highly awarded, accomplished ice skating champion. If he’ll be subjected to teaching you how to stand on your own legs just because he’s been paid through the season, at least I should apologize in person.”

“…I can stand on my own legs.” I said, rolling my eyes.

Ivan Federova looked… scary. He wasn’t tall, or big in any way, it was like he had somehow maintained the same body he’d had when he won Olympic gold three times back to back in his late teenage years. Now he was in his fifties and didn’t seem to be capable of smiling… or personal contact. He’d made little effort to learn either French or English, but it wasn’t usually a problem, as he didn’t talk much.

Lourdes was mostly quiet on the way to the rink. Over the years, my family had signed rental deals with three ice rinks around Savoy. One was close to Lourdes’ school, where she practiced every day after classes under the supervision of her security and trainer. The other was closer to Haydell Castle. As Corsilla was a small town, the nearest rink was a half an hour drive away, in Grauville. The last one, where we were going today, was close to Callois Palace, where my parents resided full time, for practice during weekends or school holidays. Ivan’s contract stipulated he practiced with Lourdes in whatever rink was easier for her depending on the time of the year.

Upon running into Ivan in the empty rink, Lourdes launched into an apology and explanation of her decision to quit, very professional in all of her thirteen years-old. Ivan cut her off after around five minutes of this, looking at me instead and saying, in a gruff, heavily Russian-accented voice, “I train you now?”

“Yes.” I said, stepping forward, schooling my features into enthusiasm instead of fear, “I’m very much looking forward to it. I may not have much experience, but what I lack in-”

“Stretch.”

“What?”

“Stretch!” he gestures to my whole body.

“Go stretch.” Lourdes explained, looking appalled that I had to ask. “Your legs specially.”

I ran to the sidelines of the ice, and, unsure of where to begin, started doing the leg stretches I usually did at the gym.

Ivan had me put on my old, barely ever used pair of skates, said something in a mixture of Russian and French, of which I understood only a part about having to break them in, and then told me to do laps around the rink so he could see ‘my form’, which was, of course, a disgrace. He sighed heavily after I finished a slow, wombly lap, and stepped into the ice himself to teach me how to skate more confidently.

Lourdes, who out of principle hadn’t brought her skates, watched from the bleachers. When she first attempted to yell out advice, Ivan shouted, “No help from public, merci. This is private”, and she sunk in her seat for the following half an hour.

Around that time was when I realized I would soon be sporting fresh dark purple bruises all over my body. Ivan discovered that what he had meant to teach me would take longer than he had intended. First it was skating without slouching, then it was breaking, then he had to push me very hard to make turns without wanting to scream.

When Ivan declared the lesson over, I sighed in relief and sat on the floor, exhausted. He quickly reminded me to go home and be back the following day.

“Tomorrow?!” I asked, appalled.

Lourdes kept coming with me for my ‘lessons’ even though she looked as though she was being forced to go; the first time she brought her skates and got into the ice with me, Ivan yelled at her that this was a private lesson. She sat in the bleacher fuming, arms crossed on her chest.

A week later, I was not able to move, but my parents kept saying they were proud I wasn’t giving up. Lourdes came back the following lesson and barged into the rink on her skates; before Ivan said anything, she told him “our family is paying for an empty rink, might as well have both of us use it, get our money’s worth”, then she just skated to the other side of the ice and pretended she wasn’t watching us. It was kind of amusing.

The real deal started when Ivan tried to teach me how to spin. The first one was reasonably easy, standing in place, just using my hands and knees to create momentum and letting the ice do the rest. The danger came with a sit spin. It looked so seamless when he or Lourdes did it, but it involved a lot more steps than I would have imagined. I had to skate confidently in one leg, raise the other backwards and bring it forward as I used my arms to spin in place. Ivan’s accent got worse when he was frustrated, and I hated being so clearly bad at something, especially in front of my obviously talented little sister, so there were a lot of high tempers in the ice.

I wanted to text Harry every day, tell him every little bit of all of this, but the more I stared into his number, the more terrified I felt. I knew if I started there would be no going back. If I sent one message, I wouldn’t be able to stop. And if there was anything V. E. Day had proved, it was that there was just too much between us.

At one point, when Ivan was getting louder and I was trying to convince myself not to leave, Lourdes skated towards us - breaching the invisible line he had drawn between us - and stopped between me and him. “Maggie,” she started, and when her trainer tried to yell she just waved an impatient hand at him, focusing on me, “you’re too afraid to fall when you lunge.”

I sighed. “Yeah, my bad, I should just ignore the prospect of feeling pain.”

She brushed off my sarcasm with remarkable ease, “Get in position.” I did as she said, and she approached, slapping my buttcheek.

“Hey!”

“See this? You might not have a lot of it, but it’s something! It’s fat, which means your blow will be cushioned. And this arm right here will stop the fall as soon as it comes–”

“Is there a way where I avoid falling?”

“No.” She and Ivan replied, together.

“If you fear fall, you can’t skate.” He told me.

“Go again.” Lourdes said, skating backwards.

I sighed and tried again, giving it an honest effort, but falling on my ass regardless.

“You’re too slow when you spin, so you don’t have enough momentum to stay on your feet.”

“God, if it’s so easy why don’t you do it?!”, I stupidly said, exasperated.

She nailed it, of course. Took a graceful, long stride forward, then turned backwards as if it was nothing, then flipped her weight from her right leg to the left in a step forward, using the right leg to get momentum into a spin. She spun wildly on herself atop her left skate as she crouched down on her left knee, right leg stretched forward with her arms above it reaching for her foot. Then, just as she had started to slow down she stood up and her right leg stretched backwards; she grabbed hold of the blade in the skate and pulled it upwards behind her back, above her head, the move giving her more momentum so the spin caught speed again. It felt as if several minutes passed, but I couldn’t take my eyes from her. Eventually, she let go of her leg, which swiftly crossed in front of the left. She leapt into her right foot now, allowing her left leg to bend backwards slightly, starting to spin again for another several laps with her hands up above her head, torso laid backways on her waist. When she started to slow, she straightened up, opened her arms, and stepped out of her spin gracefully backwards, breaking perfectly in front of us.

She had a victorious, emotional smile on her lips, and a glint to her eyes I had never seen before.

We were silent for a couple of seconds as she breathed heavily; Then, Ivan said, “Show her your triple lutz.”

She looked at him, thoughtfully, for a long time. I thought she was going to ask why, and was ready to answer ‘inspiration!’, but she didn’t. She drew in a long breath, and stepped forward.

I skated to Ivan slowly while she took up speed and turned to skate backwards, one leg behind her. She leaned forward slightly and next thing I knew she was twisting in the air. She landed smiling, on her left leg, right one gracefully up behind her back. She skated to us slowly, panting slightly.

“Sloppy.” Ivan told her. I gave him a shocked look he ignored.

“Well, I haven’t skated in months, ever since–”

“Excuses don’t make podium.”

She sighed. “Fine.”

She skated away again and repeated the jump. I applauded, mumbling to Ivan without moving my lips, “Don’t antagonize her.”

“I teach.” He replied, unaffected.

She broke in front of us forcefully, still smiling. Still breathless, but looking more alive than I’d ever seen her.

“That was awesome!” I said.

“You under rotate. You lose points.”

She looked at the ice beneath her feet, sighing, hands to her waist. Silently, she skated off again.

I looked at Ivan. “Seriously, what’s the plan?”

“Remind her what she loves.”

“…being insulted by you?”

He grinned, still watching her.

Her third jump was… well, to me it was exactly the same as the other two. And as Ivan’s expression didn’t change, I had to wait until she skated back to us.

“Flat edge. Lose points.” Ivan said before she even reached us.

Instead of breaking, she took speed again and took off for another try. Except this time she did her first jump, landed, and immediately jumped up again in another twist in the air.

“Triple lutz, triple toe.” Ivan nodded. When she approached us again, she was out of air; she doubled down on herself, hands to her knees, panting. “Luchshe.” When I seemed confused, he corrected, in French. “Mieux.” Better.

“It was amazing!” I exclaimed.

“Axel.” Ivan told Lourdes.

She straightened up, looked at him, no longer smiling. She fixed her ponytail and skated off again.

This time when she skated backwards on her right foot, she didn’t lean forward, and instead looked backwards at the last minute to make a fast switch to her left skate to jump forward quickly, arms crossed to her chest. Her hair spun wildly in the air with her, but when she landed she fell on her side.

I startled, gasping, and Ivan held my arm to keep me from going to her.

“No training.” He yelled out. “That happens.”

She got to her feet, shook off the ice in her pants, and tried again, taking up speed, skating past us without giving us even a glance. She didn’t fall this time. I looked at Ivan.

“Bad entry. Lose points.”

Lourdes had clearly heard him, she didn’t even bother coming to us, instead just took up speed and tried again. She fell.

“You lean your back to your side.” Ivan shouted after her. “Your back needs to be over your feet.”

She tried again. She stumbled on her feet in the landing, but didn’t fall. I thought it was a victory.

“Elbows in.” Ivan shouted. “The, uh– poids stay center! The… weigh.” He translated. “The weight stays center, not back.”

She tried again.

Ivan crossed his arms on his chest. “Good.” He said, nodding. “Good.”

I smiled, looking at her, but she didn’t skate to us. “He said it was good!” I shouted.

But she kept going. She jumped again. And then again. She fell back. She jumped again. Ivan sighed. “Enough now.”

She jumped. She fell. She was panting as she skated to get more speed to go again. Ivan shook his head. “No good.” “What?!” I asked.

“That’s punishment. Not training.”

“Lourdes!” I yelled. “That’s enough!”

She jumped again. Ivan sighed.

She did it twice more before I stepped into her path when she was skating past us to get more speed. She almost lost her balance, but managed to skate past me. I followed. She jumped again, and fell. I reached her after she’d gotten up, but was still slow enough I could wrap my arms around her to stop her in place.

“Maggie!” She shouted. “Stop!”

“It’s enough!” I shouted back, feeling a confusing knot on my throat. “That’s good, it’s beautiful. Stop.”

I felt her gloved hands on my arms, trying to pull them off her.

“This is none of your business, just–”

“You’re hurting yourself! You’re out of breath! Stop it!”

“No!”

She doubled down, trying to get out of my reach. We fell to the ground, instead, but I kept my arms firmly in place.

“This is not about you!” She shouted, reaching back to try and push me away.

“I know!” I shouted back, feeling my eyes water. “I know!”

We struggled. I wondered where Ivan was that he hadn’t come to help me yet. We must have looked ridiculous, and that thought didn’t stop the tears.

“Why are you doing this to yourself?! You love this, you’re great at it, you know how to do it, so why are you doing this?!”

I heard a small gasp of air and stopped moving. She let her head fall to rest on the ice, one hand over her eyes. We were on our sides; I leaned back just slightly so she could lay on her back, allowing me to look at her, finding her lips trembling, nose red.

“Lourdes-” I whispered.

“He’s gone.” She cried. “He won’t be there. He’ll never be there.”

It was enough to make me cry, too. But I tried to steady my voice when I asked, softly, “be where, Lou?”

I didn’t need to know who, of course. Her tears fell heavily down her face to her hair.

“I always thought-” she hiccuped, “I always pictured it. Competing. Winning. I always thought– Whenever I dreamed about the– The Olympics. I had it all planned–”

“And you can go!” I told her, teary.

She shook her head. “I was going to do it, and I was going to finish and in the end when– when people clap and I bow, I was going to do the bows and then I was going to find you guys in your seats.” She took her hands off her eyes, and stared at the ceiling. “Mom, dad, you and Lou… I was going to skate to where you were, and do another bow just for you.”

I felt my chest tighten painfully. She brought her hands to her lips and blew a kiss to the ceiling.

“I was going to do this and wave and skate off… and– and I wouldn’t even be too worried waiting for my notes, because you’d be there.”

I felt my own tears fall to the ice, and let my head rest on the floor, too.

“You’d have gone, right? All of you. If it was the Olympics, I mean.”

“Of course.” I told her. “Of course we would.”

She looked at me. “And now he won’t be there.”

“Oh, sweetie.” I leaned in, touching my head to her shoulder. “He… He’d be so upset to hear this.”

She sat up. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true.” I replied, looking at the ceiling. “’He won’t be there’? Well, no, Lourdes, he won’t be anywhere. He won’t… he won’t see my wedding. My kids will never know him. So, what should I do? Should I never get married? Never have kids?”

“That’s not what I’m talking about!” She complained. “Every time I get in the ice, every time I look at my skates, that’s all I can think about! That he won’t see the next jump I learn, that he won’t help me pick a dress or a song. That he won’t be there when I win–”

“Yeah, Lourdes, you don’t think I know what that is?!” I sat up, grabbing hold of her elbow so she’d look at me. “My entire existence now is a reminder that he’s gone! Every time someone calls me ‘Crown Princess’, every time I think about my future, it just means that he’s gone! Should I give that up, too?! Hope you’re ready to be Queen, then!”

She shook her head, but her lips were trembling again. I reached out with my hand, caressing her back. When she started sobbing, I pulled her close, and she let me, leaning into my arms tightly wrapped around her.

I let her cry, for as long as she needed. When her sobs spaced out, I started clearing the ice off her clothes gently.

“Everything reminding us of him is just… what grief is.” I told her. “It sucks. It’s… it’s all this love that was his, that we still feel, but have no one to give it to, anymore.” I brushed the hair off her face with my hands. “But we don’t stop. We can’t. He’d be so pissed if we did. We just… we keep going. And we remember him. I teach my kids about the uncle they’ll never know. You get to that podium and think of him… and wherever he is, he’ll be proud. That’s what we do.”

I kissed the back of her head, and she sat up, cleaning her face with her hands.

“But for that to happen, you can’t quit.”

She stared at her hands for a while, calming her breath. Then, she nodded.

“Okay.”

--- ---- ---

[A/N: Happy holidays!!!!!! Hi. How are you? How’s your end of year been? I am home, christmas was chill. Ate a lot. Back to work now. Trying to pull a hamilton and write every night like i’m running out of time. Did anyone watch Bridgerton? Because I am OBSESSED. Anyway. I KNOW. Another moment interrupted. Thsoe can only happen a few times guys, I promise we’re nearly there haha THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! I am so blessed to have you and so grateful to you for being here! I’d love to know your thoughts. Anything you’d like to see more of? Other than H and MM, of course! lol Savoy or MM’s family things? Work? Royal events? Friends? Let me know =) Also, I’m still working on fixing a masterlist of chapters, so look out for that!

We’re nearing phase 2 of the story and I am excited to share with you! THANK YOU FOR READING! And.......HAPPY NEW YEAR!]

#Princeharryff #prince harry fanfic #prince harry fanfiction #princeharryfanfiction #Princeharryfanfic #prince harry #brf #modern royalty au #modern royalty fanfic #fanfiction #OPITCphff #chapters

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alarriefantasy · 4 years

Note

Hii can you rec me some a/b/o fics but with kids?thanks! Ps: i really love your blog :)

Hey, darling! Here you go!! Happy Reading! :)

ABO - Kid Fic

I can't see me loving nobody but you by orphan_account

Words: 748

A day in the life of Louis and his pregnant mate, Harry, and their son.

Kiwi makes me wanna have sex by moonyblouie

Words: 1k

Louis' pregnant with his and Harry's third child and he's constantly wet, even when his Alpha is not there.

Kiwi makes me wanna have sex by moonyblouie

Words: 1k

Louis' pregnant with his and Harry's third child and he's constantly wet, even when his Alpha is not there.

When you're good to mama (he surprises you) by SadaVeniren

Words: 2k

aka Harry's pregnant with his sixth kid

a mother's place by Anonymous

Words: 2k

just a couple of scenes I had in mind involving mummy louis, daddy harry and their babies. the abo isn't going to be the main factor in this series of drabbles but its there to make things easier for eg the gender roles and the mpreg. have fun xx

Lunch Break by purpleeyestelllies

Words: 3k

Harry decides to bring his alpha lunch at work and surprise him with a visit from him and their baby daughter. Louis gets more than one surprise.

Baby Dear by mpregharryqueen

Words: 5k

Louis desperately wants to be a progressive, enlightened alpha but he also wants Harry to wean their two-year-old daughter from breastfeeding.

Or, Harry and Louis argue about when is the proper time to wean a child.

take me to the stars by theweightofmywords

Words: 5k

Staring at his darling daughter, in the middle of the pasta aisle, Louis found himself on the edge of a neurotic breakdown.

"It’s your birthday tomorrow! And your papa better not do anything to muck it up! Because your dada worked very hard to organise it! And all of your aunties and grannies and granddads and friends will be there!” Louis continued in a sweet sing-song voice that seemed to get increasingly frantic as he continued. “And if your papa is in rut, then what? What’ll we do, honey girl? Your dada will be too busy! And your papa will be too horn-”

“Louis,” Harry interrupted, touching Louis’ arm. “I’ll be okay. It’s probably not even my rut. I can appreciate you… all of you… even when I’m not in rut.”

Louis looked at him skeptically, imagining the shitshow that would be Harry in rut, surrounded by family and friends, at their child’s first birthday party. “I hope you’re right, H.”

your hand in mine by sarcasticfluentry

Words: 9k

...or, Zayn and Liam take the kids for a day so Harry and six-months-pregnant Louis can have some well-deserved alone time.

come on over, we've got something to share by jaerie

Words: 12k

Even as an unbonded omega with a four year old, Harry had everything he needed. His beautiful son, a nice apartment, money to pay the bills -- oh, and an alpha next door always willing to knot his brains out.

For the thrill of your touch I will shamefully lust by darksideofthescreen

Words: 12k

“Harry, are you really making red velvet?” He breathed, excitement clear in his voice and written in his eyes. As if Harry making him something (after he asked about it) was something he had never expected to happen and Harry wondered for a second when he had given of the impression of not wanting to please Louis’ every wish.

“Of course I am, I had two tiny Tomlinson’s asking for it” he smiled, aware of the fact that Louis did not think of himself as short or anywhere near tiny. But in comparison to Harry, he was definitely a tiny one.

Louis huffed and moved a step away from him. They had been standing very close up until that moment, and Harry had not even noticed before the smaller was moving away.

“I am not tiny, Harold” he said, in a sharper voice, but Harry knew from the look on his face that Louis was far from mad about the comment.

I Will Care For You by lululawrence

Words: 15k

“Afton, I just don’t know what I’m going to do,” Harry whined. “I’m going to adopt her, but I have no idea how to take care of her when I’m here as much as I am and I can’t really afford to raise a child on fewer hours. My family can only help so much, but I’ve already been relying on them too much this past week.”

“Oh, Harry. Just get yourself a nanny.” Afton threw out the suggestion and Harry sat up. How had he not considered that?

“How much do you need to pay a nanny? If I cut some expenses, I might be able to handle that, if they lived in. Would they expect more of me, since I’m an unmated alpha? Like, they wouldn’t think I’m some dodgy alpha looking for a nanny to become a bondmate or anything, would they?”

“Shut up, Harry,” Afton demanded. If she wasn’t a beta, Harry almost felt like she might have put some alpha timbre into her voice with that line. Either way, he did shut up to listen to her as she continued. “Reach out to Louis. He’s our usual sitter and he’s lovely. He’s come on some hard times, too, so you could probably convince him to work for you for cheap, especially if you’re having him live with you too.”

A New Beginning (A.O.B) by HarrysAngelLou

Words: 26k

Its illegal to have a pup without being mated, Louis has a son that he has hid for the past three years including his pregnancy. His mother eventually convinces him to leave he pack to find one that will accept him and his son.

That is how he ends up with the Barbour pack

last blues for bloody knuckles by creamcoffeelou

Words: 34k

Styles was a name everyone knew. It had evolved into something of a fairy tale, a far away problem that normal people didn’t have to deal with. Louis never thought he’d find himself falling in love with him. When he finds himself pregnant with Harry’s child, he knows he has to leave the life, and Harry, behind. For her sake.

He never expected Harry to show back up on his doorstep five years later.

A mob au.

Face Your Fears by SadaVeniren

Words: 92k

Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

Say Something by kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie)

Words: 105k

At fifty years old and recently divorced, Omega Harry Styles isn't interested in dating. When his doctor suggests a heat and rut matching service, he signs up out of necessity. It’s the only use he has for an Alpha in his life.

Twenty-eight-year-old Alpha Louis Tomlinson aims to change that.

You Smell Like by mystic_believexx

Words: 185k

The one where Louis is the Alpha’s mate and everyone is aware of it except for Louis and Harry. Go figure!

Cold Little Heart by seducedbycurls

Words: 194k

Louis is a soft omega with an abusive past and an alpha child A few months after getting a divorce, Louis meets Harry, an ex-military alpha wolf that offers him something -odd.

In exchange for teaching him how to cook, Harry will babysit his son, Abraham

Louis really could use the help.

♡ credit to the owner of the manip

♡ past themed recs here

#ask

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dailytomlinson · 4 years

Text

Zayn channelled R&B, Harry went full-on rock, Niall found his sound in folkish-country pop and Liam just went all over the place. And on January 31st, 2020, Louis Tomlinson became the final member of One Direction to finally release a debut album. I have to say, it was well worth the wait.

Having been through quite a few downs in the last few years (losing both his mother and sister), Tomlinson has packed quite a lot of emotion into this heavily Oasis-inspired album. And you can tell.

This album is sort of like him looking back at the glory days of One Direction with a fond reminisce, while also forging a new path (or should I say, direction) with a sound he seems to have found a new home in.

There are some songs on this album, like “Don’t Let It Break Your Heart” and “Perfect Now,” which will take you straight back to One Direction’s glory days. He channels the pop singer in him, the part that thrived with the global sensation that was the band, and it definitely carries that bittersweet nostalgia that every 1D fan can associate themselves with (I certainly could). The other part channels the new sound Tomlinson is headed towards: old school Britpop, with a heavy Oasis influence.

Here is a track by track analysis of the album:

KILL MY MIND

Right off the bat, the heavy Britpop vibes can be heard. It’s very different from the kind of music Tomlinson has made in the past, and it kind of gives you an idea as to what direction he is about to go in musically.

As Louis has said in his track by track analysis for Apple Music, “This was a statement of intent. This is where I want to be, this is where I want to move into.” He navigates this song with a sort of swagger that is enhanced by the strong guitar riffs in the background. The northern English accent is prominent in this track and overall, this whole song is very British. And it is definitely a fun and exciting way to kick off this album.

DON’T LET IT BREAK YOUR HEART

This is what I’m talking about when I say he also touched on his One Direction roots. The chorus of this song will instantly remind you of a 1D song. It could easily fit into FOUR or Made in the A.M. Tomlinson has acknowledged that this is definitely right up the band’s alley and says that “it’s just one of those songs that’s trying to promote hope regardless of what life throws at you.” And it is definitely a nice song to be humming along to, and for all the 1D fans out there, it adds for a great nostalgia factor.

TWO OF US

This is definitely one of the most emotional songs on the album. Written by Tomlinson for his mother, who tragically passed away a few years ago, it will tug at your heartstrings and maybe get you to shed a few tears along the way. Tomlinson has said that he “wasn’t ready to write the song” but it is definitely “the most special song I’ve ever written”.

When he released this song a few months ago as a single, he said in a statement, “I just feel like musically, I almost needed to get this song off my chest. People say writing is a part of therapy and in a way, I feel like I’d been avoiding writing this song because I knew I only had one chance to get it right. I don’t mean to be too soppy about it, but if ‘Two of Us’ can help just one other person who’s going through the tough time that I went through, then that would make me really happy.”

It is a very raw tribute. Louis has sung his fair share of ballads in the past, but this is definitely his most emotional and personal one yet if the lyrics “You’ll never know how much I miss you / The day that they took you, I wish it was me instead,” are anything to go by. It is truly a beautiful way to remember his mother, who I’m sure would be very proud.

WE MADE IT

This song was also released as a single, and while it’s not one of my favourites, but it’s a good song nonetheless. The song is very road trippy, and the meaning is pretty straightforward: we went through some pretty difficult times, but we made it.

The lyrics tell a story of him looking back at his past and acknowledging all the good and bad times. The song proclaims that we — as in Tomlinson and his fans — made it ’till the end. It is in a similar vein to One Direction’s “History,” which is also like a tribute to the fans of the band.

TOO YOUNG

This is one of my favourites from the album. If you want a sweet but sad little song, this is it. It seems like Tomlinson is singing about being young and reckless, as well as finding someone he would possibly want to spend the rest of his life with. However, it’s too much responsibility for a teenager to comprehend.

In other words, they were too young. (Hence the song title.) It is kind of like an apology to the girl he loves, asking her to forgive him for the stupid mistakes he made because he was “too young” to figure out what all of it means.

Its a beautiful, stripped-down song, with just Tomlinson’s beautifully unique voice powering through some soft acoustic guitar in the background. It is a pretty honest song, as Tomlinson puts it, “We all made mistakes when we were younger, and I just wanted to capture that idea of true honesty.” “Too Young” is the kind of song you’d listen to with a reluctant smile on your face, somewhere between forgiveness and acknowledgment.

WALLS

The title track of the album. Again, very Oasis, but also very different at the same time. Another taste of the new path Tomlinson has forged. I say Oasis because he literally lifted elements from 3 Oasis songs to put on this track, while also giving Noel Gallagher credit as a lyricist and composer. The live guitar riffs add a really fun edge to the otherwise kind of emotional song. Not my favourite in the bunch, but it certainly is a good song to belt out on a road trip.

HABIT

This is also one of the songs I really loved. I feel like this is Tomlinson at his best — when he’s just being himself. It is very festival-esque, in a way. Emotionally deep with subtle instrumentation to back it up, this song has quite a storytelling vibe to it.

The music immediately makes you want to nod your head along to it, and it is very lively and spring-y. It’s emotional, but at the same time, it makes you want to skip along the sidewalk on a nice sunny day. Or sing it along with your friends at a campfire and Louis’ extremely unique voice just elevates it.

It also has an Easter egg from the One Direction days, according to Louis, “There’s a line about the place that we all grew up with in the band, and that was an apartment complex called Princess Park. It’s like an Easter egg for the fans, I’m sure they’ll like that.”

ALWAYS YOU

Definitely an instant favourite of mine — and packed with a lot of emotion. The music is very skip-in-the-step and upbeat so it doesn’t seem like it, but the lyrics are extremely meaningful. The moment the song begins, it instantly brings a fond smile to your face. It is clearly about a man travelling all over the world but always coming back to you — because its always been you.

Yes, it’s that love song. That happy, comforting, good-natured song that is just about that one girl who has captured his heart that he always comes back to.

As Louis puts it, “It’s very autobiographical, me making that realisation that its always been that one person, that no matter where you are and what you see, you miss that one person.”

It makes you feel content, and it makes you feel like you’re home, and it just makes you very happy as you listen to it. “Always You” has some beautiful harmonies and generously shows off Tomlinson’s vocal range, and is easily one of the best songs on this album.

FEARLESS

This one is a belter — and Tomlinson really doesn’t hold back. It is a ballad, something Louis really knows how to do well. Tomlinson really lets go in this song, reaching for those high notes and successfully hitting them, while also trying to capture what it felt like to truly be young, to be fearless.

“Tell me, do you still remember feeling young?” That is what he is asking of us, as he navigates through what it felt like for him and remembering his own youth, reminiscing with fondness.

It is a bittersweet feeling, and it is quite evident as you listen to the song. It is very raw and nostalgic in a way as it will definitely make you go through a trip down your memory lane, as you try to answer his question.

PERFECT NOW

This song is very One Direction. It is in a similar vein as the band’s highly successful ballad “Little Things.” According to Tomlinson, “it’s kind of an extension to “What Makes You Beautiful,” the band’s first single.”

This is his way of telling the world that he absolutely loves the band and wanted a song on the album that reflects his love for it. This song is very simple and stripped down. It tells a story about a girl being beautiful despite her insecurities.

He also mentions not fitting into your jeans, à la “Little Things,” but it works. It’s not my absolute favourite, but it is a cute song nonetheless.

DEFENCELESS

Defenceless is a song I really like. It starts off quite unassuming and doesn’t really catch you, but as the song builds, and the beat drops, and Tomlinson belts out those high notes, you’re hooked right in. The harmonies and background music add a lovely touch to this song, and the bridge is really beautiful.

No, really, the composition in this song is stunning. It’s hard to describe but it kind of is like a comforting happy melody, like something that can easily be used in a video montage. The music just makes you feel really happy, like basking in the sun on a warm spring day.

The song is basically about being vulnerable and experiencing many different feelings: “One day you might be feeling great, youthful and amazing, and the next day you might be feeling a bit down in the dumps.” And that is being defenceless (against your feelings).

ONLY THE BRAVE

This song is the last and the shortest track on the album, and it’s wildly different from the rest. It is a song about what it takes to stand on your own and is the perfect way to round off a very emotional album.

It is very soft and quiet and has a retro vibe to it. The way the end drops off leaves you thinking about everything you just listened to and the lyrics are extremely beautiful with lines like “It’s a church of burnt romances and I’m too far gone to pray” and “It’s a solo show and it’s only for the brave.”

This song will bring a small smile to your face, and it just seems like a classic, like going back in time. And having a song about what it is like to tear the walls down and stand on your own is probably the best way to end an album that is very aptly titled Walls and “Only the Brave” does exactly that.

FINAL VERDICT

Walls as a whole is a pretty impressive debut. It is a cohesive body of work. This has definitely laid a foundation for the kind of music we can expect from Louis Tomlinson.

Although he doesn’t really experiment a lot like some of his other bandmates, Tomlinson sticks to what he knows. He also shows us what he loves in his sound, and it works for him. I have always thought that he has an extremely unique and soothing voice, and this album has utilised it beautifully.

Walls is one of those albums that could over the years easily become a staple classic. It is very emotionally packed, and it seems like the kind of album you can fall back on a few years down the line to find some familiarity and homeliness — like an old friend.

You can definitely see the ambition. Perhaps Louis isn’t taking too many risks here is because this album is more like a reflection of his past. He’s working on tearing those walls down to become a whole new person. Along the way, he adds hints of the kind of sound he’s headed towards.

This album is a foundation for something new and exciting. We don’t quite know who he really is yet musically, but it is definitely a promise for some exciting things to come, and something tells me, for Tomlinson, this is only the beginning

#affinity magazine #walls review #louis tomlinson #020220 #wpress

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